[Sex and Love of an Ordinary Beijing Drifter] Author: Unknown

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A Beijing Drifter's Sex and Love
Author: Unknown
Word Count: 12827
Life as a Beijing drifter is tough. I dare not visit prostitutes. In that materialistic city, everything is about money
. 500 yuan a time is pure robbery. Although the content of [the book/article] is exciting, masturbation can never
satisfy the deepest desires in my heart. Every day, watching the women coming and going on the street, I feel very thirsty,
imagining them naked, imagining them being fucked, imagining them being ejaculated inside, and I feel
a strange sense of satisfaction. Later, I met them, which enriched my emotional life, though there
was also a lot of heartache…
The first one was from Henan.
I met her on Jiayuan.com. At that time, Jiayuan.com wasn't very famous, but because it
was a partner of MSN, although Jiayuan.com didn't advertise much,
many people still used it, and they were mostly MSN users. The first time I met her, her pure photos made me very aroused.
She said her boyfriend didn't love her and eventually left her. I said, "If we click, once I fall in love with you,
I won't give up." I told her a lot about my past, some true, some fabricated, and
she said she was very touched. So, we arranged to meet in Madian. When we met, she wasn't as pretty as in her photos
, but she wasn't ugly either, just average. She looked close to 30, older than me, a typical ordinary girl
. We ordered food, talked a lot, and finally I took her home, and then we parted reluctantly.
After I got home, I asked her what she thought of me, and she said it was alright. I said, "Be my girlfriend," and she said we could try it out first
. That's how we became a couple. The next day, she came to my place, and we cooked together.
Since it was a shared apartment, the neighbors kept asking me who she was. I said she was my sister, and she silently
agreed, feeling embarrassed. That day, I wanted to have sex with her, and she said it was a bit too fast. I said, "I won't force you to do
anything you don't want to do." She said okay. That night, we slept together, but nothing happened.
This went on for a week, and she stayed at my place every day. One day, after dinner, she said, "Let
's go for a walk." I said okay. Passing a supermarket, she said, "Go buy a box of condoms." I was happy.
That night, we had sex three times. Her breasts were small, and her vagina was very tight. When I was having sex with her, she looked very
blissful, and I also enjoyed the feeling of making love with her. This continued for a week until her period started. We
basically had sex twice every night, not because I was particularly strong, but because I have premature ejaculation.
The first time, I usually ejaculated in a minute or two, and she would immediately come over and give me oral sex to make me hard again, and then we would have sex
a second time.
When her period ended, she had to go on a business trip and left Beijing. After she left, whenever I
missed her, I felt like I didn't really love her, but was just too lonely. Out of guilt,
one night I finally texted her. She said she didn't love me either, but just felt too lonely and wanted someone
to keep her company. After she returned from her business trip, we had dinner together. That night, we made love three times.
I ejaculated prematurely the first two times, but only on the third time did I last more than ten minutes, satisfying her. The next day, she quietly packed
her things and left.
The second woman was from Jilin.
Not long after the first one left, I relapsed into masturbation. I discovered that I couldn't live without women;
it seemed I had an inexhaustible supply of semen, and I masturbated almost every day or every other day. Just
when I was missing that girl from Henan, an unexpected event brought me a new female companion. There were three people sharing the apartment with me. The apartment
was originally a large three-bedroom, one-living-room house, but the agent partitioned the living room into a room, making it four rooms
. The other three roommates were a woman in her forties
from Jilin, whose daughter was studying at Beihang University and she was there to accompany her; a girl from Heilongjiang who worked in advertising planning; and
two girls from Shanxi who worked in computer sales. The older woman was usually very mean-spirited and often
argued over trivial matters. Despite this, she was still quite beautiful. In
the countryside, she would probably be very popular with older men. She had an unparalleled large bust, a decent face, and
while her figure was a bit plump, it was still undeniably curvaceous. She lived in the room next to my living room
. Every time she came back from her daughter's place, she would change clothes. I would always turn off the lights because the balcony
window reflected her every move inside. She
would always take off all her clothes, even her underwear, then wipe herself with a towel before putting on her underwear and pajamas. At this time, I would always drool
and stroke my hard penis.
That day, it wasn't the weekend, and I wasn't at work. The house was quiet, and I got up to pee. Just as I reached the toilet
door, I saw her completely naked after showering. She was startled, and I turned away embarrassedly, but
I still saw her entire body. Since it was morning, my penis was already hard, and now it was even harder
. She quickly went back to the toilet. Neither of us spoke. That afternoon, she texted me, saying
she wanted to talk. I said, "Okay, Auntie, let's have dinner together tonight." That evening, we went to a nearby restaurant
. She said to me, "Do you often peep at me?" I said, "No, how could I peep at you?"
She said, "Last time I was changing clothes at home, I saw you peeping at me through the balcony glass." I knew I had been exposed,
my heart was racing, and I could only force myself to say, "Auntie, actually I'm not bad, it's just that I do things for some inexplicable reason." She
said, "I understand at your age. My daughter isn't much younger than you, I could be your mother, you should
be more discreet." I said, "I know." We parted on bad terms. Two
days later, one night, I was watching porn, took off my clothes and lay on the bed masturbating. She
came back from Beihang University, and instead of going to her room, she went straight to mine. Usually, because we don't see each other much
, my door wasn't locked, and she just opened it and came in. Seeing me naked
and masturbating on the bed, she instinctively froze and left. I broke out in a cold sweat, and my penis went limp instantly. She stood...
I stood at the door, not moving away because I hadn't heard any footsteps. Thinking I'd take the plunge, I asked directly, "Auntie
, what's wrong?" She didn't answer, paused for a few seconds, opened the door, and came in. Looking at
me naked on the bed, she said, "Little *, this will hurt your health. Why don't you go find a girlfriend?" I said, "I haven't
had the chance to meet other girls." She looked at my computer screen, and I looked at her, speechless. My heart
was filled with mixed emotions. Thinking I should just go for it, I said, "Auntie, you've been through this, please help me."
I jumped off the bed and hugged her. She instinctively pushed me away, but I didn't give in. She slowly stopped struggling. I started
kissing her face; I smelled the alcohol on her breath. Then I kissed her lips, and she passively accepted my kiss. My
hands unconsciously began to caress her body, and her breathing became rapid. I gently placed her on the bed and
began unbuttoning her pants. I didn't unbutton her clothes because I wanted to take off her pants first and
have sex with her then; if I took off her clothes, she might change her mind, and I'd have miscalculated.
She didn't resist much, and I easily pulled off her pants, leaving her in her panties. We French kissed,
my hands constantly teasing her vulva through her panties. Her breathing became rapid, and I could feel how wet she was.
At this point, I laid her flat on the bed, spread her legs, and knelt between them. Afraid she might change her mind,
I didn't remove her panties, but simply pushed them aside and quickly inserted my penis into her vagina. She moaned softly
and began to push me away, frantically squeezing her legs together, trying to force my penis out. I held her tightly, kissing her repeatedly.
The old woman's saliva smelled of alcohol, but I didn't care. At the same time, I gently thrust in and out of her vagina.
Slowly, she stopped resisting, closed her eyes, and began to enjoy the sex. But less than two minutes later, I ejaculated.
Luckily, I felt it, so I only ejaculated on her underwear, the semen flowing down onto the bed. She lay there, her face
turned to the side, not seeing it. I could see her shyness and struggle. I slowly pulled off her underwear, and she cooperated
by lifting her buttocks. I put the underwear on my penis, gently smoothed it with my hand, and my penis became
hard again. I couldn't wait to re-insert it into her vagina. She was clearly unprepared for this, turning her head to look at me.
Our eyes met, and the embarrassment was unspoken, but my thrusting didn't slow down. She closed her eyes again and began
to breathe rapidly.
The next morning, she got up early. Because her underwear was stained with semen, she didn't wear underwear, but
put on her pants directly, and then silently returned to her room.
From then on, whenever she had free time and needed it, she would come to my room. We didn't say anything
, just silently made love.
The third one was from Beijing, a colleague.
Although I didn't graduate from a prestigious university, I have excellent speaking skills and perform well at the company.
When I first joined the company, the person sitting next to me was a 27-year-old girl from Beijing. Her Mandarin was very fluent
, with a mild Beijing accent. She wasn't particularly nice to me, nor was she unfriendly; we were just ordinary
colleagues. After a year of learning as a new employee, I became a key member in the second year, while her performance remained lukewarm
, neither particularly good nor bad.
Since breaking up with that girl from Henan, my "emotional life" had been empty. Although I occasionally had
sex with that aunt from Jilin, it wasn't a long-term solution. By chance, I got
together with this girl from Beijing. Actually, the girl from Beijing looked down on me deep down. First, because I wasn't from Beijing and couldn't afford
a house there. Second, she was quite beautiful, 1.65 meters tall, with a great figure, short hair, and
a very capable demeanor, while I was average-looking, with only a good mouth and a sensible mind; otherwise, I didn't have any
advantages. Her family didn't want her to date a man from out of town who had achieved success in China, so although we joked and
laughed together, a romantic relationship was absolutely out of the question. She'd had a few relationships, all
with local Beijingers. Each time, she'd show us photos, but they always
ended badly.
Once, we went out to meet a client. The deal was hers, and according to company policy, clients
had to be met in pairs, so she asked me to go with her. Unfortunately, our company's competitor was there too, and
their representative turned out to be a guy she'd dated for a few days before—speaking with a thick Beijing accent that made me want to
vomit.
She was supposed to handle the case, but for some reason, she seemed a bit nervous. I told her
to rest while I talked to the client and argued with the Beijing-speaking guy. Later, because our company's product
was of better quality than theirs, even though it was more expensive, the client chose us. The guy with the Beijing accent provocatively
said to the Beijing girl, "Tomboy, can't find a boyfriend." The Beijing girl got angry and said, "
What's it to you if I can't find a boyfriend?" Hearing this, I went over and hugged the Beijing girl, saying, "Honey, don't take it to heart,
let's go." Then I carried her away. The guy with the Beijing accent kept cursing behind our backs, but we ignored
him.
After that, she was much more polite to me, and I could feel that distance we could maintain. Until one
night, at ten o'clock, I was having sex with Aunt Jilin in my room when my phone rang. I stopped thrusting and
picked up the phone. On the other end, she was crying, and there was a lot of noise outside. I asked her questions, but she didn't answer.
After about ten minutes of silence, she said, "I'm at the ** bar in Houhai, come pick me up." I said okay,
turned around and climbed back on top of Aunt Jilin, moved around a bit, and ejaculated inside her. Aunt Jilin and I got dressed at the same time. After we were done,
she went back to her room, and I tidied up the room.
I took a taxi and brought her to my place. She sat on the edge of the bed, reeking of alcohol, her tear tracks still wet. I felt a pang of sympathy and
poured her a glass of water, which she drank in one gulp before running to the bathroom. When she returned, she started crying again. I held her tightly;
she didn't resist or struggle.
About twenty minutes passed like this until she stopped crying. My back was a little sore, and my arms were numb
, so I gently pushed her down onto the bed and lay on my side, holding her. She looked at me, speechless
. I looked at her, wanting to say something, but afraid of ruining the atmosphere. We gazed at each other for about five minutes before she closed her eyes.
From my angle, her eyes truly held a look of utter helplessness. I leaned down and kissed her lips;
she responded, and our tongues met. I held her with one arm, while the other roamed her body, first
her stomach, then her breasts, then her abdomen, finally reaching her genitals through her pants. She didn't resist;
I knew tonight was going to be interesting. I gently unbuttoned her clothes and then caressed her
breasts through her bra. She began to moan. I lifted her breasts, revealing them, and
gently stroked them; that soft, tender feeling was unforgettable.
I picked her up and removed her clothes and bra. She was naked from the waist up, and I took off my own
clothes, also naked from the waist up. We embraced, and she rested her head on my shoulder, hugging my back.
I held her with one arm and caressed her breast with the other. After a while, I laid her flat on the bed, leaned over and kissed
her. Supporting myself with one hand, I used the other to touch her genitals through her pants. She didn't resist. I boldly
unbuttoned her jeans, then slowly pulled them down to her knees with one hand, and then,
through her underwear, stroked her labia. Her breathing became rapid and shallow, and she stared intently at me. I looked at her,
and then slowly pulled her underwear down. She obligingly lifted her buttocks, and her underwear was down to her knees
. By this time, her genitals were incredibly wet. I turned around, moved my body, and knelt beside
her legs. I pulled off her jeans and underwear with both hands, then spread her legs apart and knelt between them. She
looked up at me with her eyes open. I said, "Close your eyes." She lay down and closed her eyes. I spread her legs further
, then bent my knees, leaned down, and brought my mouth to her vulva. I licked her labia with my tongue,
and she immediately recoiled, saying, "Dirty." I said, "Don't worry," and pulled her closer, continuing to bury my face in her vagina. Her
labia and urethra smelled of urine, and her clitoris had a slightly astringent taste, making my mouth feel uncomfortable. When I put my tongue
into her vagina, her secretions had a slightly astringent and tingling taste. I didn't feel very
satisfied, but to please her, I endured it and kept sucking on her vagina. After a while, she started to writhe, and
suddenly, her body trembled. I knew she must have had an orgasm. So, I immediately got up and
rubbed my penis against her vagina. She started to moan. Seeing her closed eyes and enjoying the sensation, and hearing her low
moans, I was excited. I kept rubbing the head of my penis against her clitoris and labia, still not aiming at her
vagina, inserting it one or two centimeters. Her breathing was rapid, and she occasionally took deep breaths. I knew the time had come.
I slowly inserted my entire penis into her vagina, and she let out a deep moan. I began thrusting rhythmically, and she
responded with rhythmic moans. I consciously slowed the pace to reduce my penis's sensitivity. Because
I had done it with Aunt Jilin before, I didn't ejaculate prematurely this time. However, due to excessive excitement, I couldn't control myself and ended up ejaculating
inside her. She didn't say anything, just squatted down, caught the semen with a tissue, and then wiped her genitals
clean.
I held her without speaking. After half an hour of silence, it was past 2 AM when she said, "Take
me home." I said, "Just sleep here." She said, "No, I'm afraid my parents will scold me." I had no choice but to
go to the bathroom with her to shower, then get dressed and take her home. Passing a pharmacy, I bought a box of emergency contraception, which she
took. I dreamt that something might happen between us. But the next day, she acted as if nothing had happened.
Even when we were alone, if I showed her affection, she remained indifferent. I knew I was a toad, and she
was a swan; we had no connection.
Since then, we've never had sex again. But I will remember that night, our tenderness,
though brief, was radiant.
The fourth was a fellow townsman, a high school classmate.
I often reminisce about that night with the Beijing girl, which makes my memories more vivid. However, every time I
recall it, there is always an indescribable bitterness, followed by a wave of emptiness. I still have
the habit of masturbating, and I still don't like to find prostitutes. Although I often search online that frequent masturbation is harmful to health,
when my lower abdomen is filled with semen and my penis is proudly erect, the tingling sensation of the glans still makes me continue masturbating involuntarily
, until she came along, my high school classmate. Actually, we have always kept in touch because we
are both in Beijing, both are "Beijing drifters," both come from the same place, and had a good relationship in high school, so we would exchange a few pleasantries when we met online
. But what really brought us closer was a gathering of people from the same hometown in Beijing.
She graduated from Beijing International Studies University with a degree in English. After graduation, she passed the teacher's exam in Beijing and became a
primary school teacher. She wasn't tall, only about 1.5 meters, with long hair, thin, and a small chest.
When she smiled, she had prominent canine teeth. Overall, she was an ordinary girl, neither ugly nor beautiful.
After that hometown gathering, everyone went to a karaoke bar. Neither of us were good at singing, so we agreed to take a walk. We started from Xizhimen
and walked westward until we reached Zizhuyuan Park, where we strolled around. We reminisced about our wonderful
high school days, talked about the hardships of being a migrant worker in Beijing, and the coldness and warmth of human relationships. It seemed like we had endless things to say. Around midnight,
when everything was quiet, I walked her home. Because it was cold, I gave her my gloves on the way, and she didn't
refuse. When we got to her door, she handed the gloves back to me, held my hand, and said thank you. My
hands, almost frozen, were warmed by her small, warm hand—a feeling I couldn't describe.
Later, we frequently exchanged text messages and met up almost every weekend, either for dinner and a movie,
or to go hiking and stroll in the park. This continued for nearly two months until the Spring Festival. Because our hometowns were
too far from Beijing, and train tickets were hard to get during the Spring Festival travel rush, we agreed not to go home, and she came to stay with me.
Everyone else in the building had gone back to their hometowns, including that aunt from Jilin. Many of the people in the building were from out of town,
and they all gradually returned home for the Spring Festival. So, if I raped her, she could scream her lungs out and no one would hear her.
Even so, we treated each other like guests; for the first three nights, we did nothing but kiss
. First, she kept refusing; every time I touched her breasts, she would push me away. Second,
I figured she'd be mine sooner or later, so why rush things?
On the fourth day, which happened to be Lunar New Year's Eve, we cooked together. To create a festive atmosphere, I
specially opened a bottle of red wine. After a few rounds, her face was shockingly red, and her eyes were somewhat glazed. She softly asked
me, "Do you love me?" I said, "Yes, I really do." She smiled, "Then will you marry me?"
I said, "Yes, but I have to meet your parents first." She stopped talking, walked to my side, and hugged me. I held
her tighter; I could feel she was a little drunk. I didn't know if it was the wine that made her drunk, or if her heart was intoxicated. I pouted
, and she slowly brought her lips closer. We started kissing. My hands began to wander,
roaming over her sweater. Her body began to sway, and I could even feel her trembling slightly. I began to boldly
caress her breasts through her sweater. She gave a disgusted groan but didn't refuse, which emboldened me even more. We remained in that
position for a short while. I began to slip my hand inside her sweater, caressing her breasts through her bra. Her
breasts were rather small; one hand could almost completely cover everything, including her bra. We
kissed passionately like this, my hand never stopping, constantly pinching and rubbing.
I felt I should put my hand inside her body. Although my hand wasn't very cold, to be safe, I
withdrew it and then put my hand inside my pants and underwear to cover my buttocks, using
the warmth of my buttocks to quickly warm my hand. A minute later, I felt it was about time, and with lightning speed
, I slipped my hand inside her bra. She grunted. She tried to block my hand with her own, but I didn't pull away
. To match my hand's advance, my kisses became even more intense. Her resistance gradually weakened, and eventually, my
entire hand was inside her bra. She pinched her nipples, rubbing her breasts.
Our lips were pressed together, but I could hear her rapid breathing. I felt it was about time, so I picked her
up. Our eyes met, and her eyes held nothing but shyness and genuine affection.
I swear, I'll never forget that look, and I silently told myself I must
cherish this girl. Although deep down, I still had doubts about whether I truly loved her,
my instincts told me I had to live up to that look. I put her on the bed, took off her sweater
, and then her loungewear, leaving her in pajamas. Her
figure, accentuated by the cotton underwear, was curvaceous, arousing my desire. She looked at me as I methodically removed
my own loungewear, leaving me only in pajamas. She didn't resist because
we'd been sleeping together in these outfits for the past few days. I leaned down, hugged her, and
unhooked her bra from behind, slowly pulling it off. She didn't resist. After putting the bra back in, our eyes met, and I
began to kiss her. First her forehead, then her nose, cheeks, eyes, ears, behind her ears, earlobes, the base of her ears,
then her neck, her throat. Then I returned along the same path until finally, I kissed her lips. Without lingering, I
started kissing her again along the same route, but this time, after kissing her throat, I pulled her collar up to
her shoulder and gently kissed her shoulder. She trembled slightly. I continued kissing her, slowly
removing her nightgown. She was somewhat reluctant, but she took it off anyway, crossing her arms over her chest to prevent me from seeing her breasts.
I ignored her, slowly removing her hands and then sucking on her nipples, circling my tongue around her areolas.
She began to moan, occasionally raising her hips and occasionally using her hands to block my mouth. I took her hands in my hands and
placed them above my head; her hands then rested on top of my head, so they wouldn't block me anymore.
I started kissing my way down her breasts, past her navel, and then to her lower abdomen. I pulled down her pajama bottoms and began kissing
the pubic hair that was showing through her underwear. She gasped for breath and tried to block me with her hands, but I
took her hands and placed them on either side of her body. Then I started taking off her pajama bottoms. She cooperated,
lifting her buttocks slightly, and the bottoms came off easily. At this point, she was left with only a small pair of underwear protecting her last vestige of
virginity. I kissed her pubic hair through the underwear, rubbing her inner thighs with my hands. She closed her eyes and
moaned continuously. Her vulva secreted a lot of clear fluid, wetting the underwear. I spread her legs
a little more, then stood up and knelt between her legs. Her vulva was faintly visible, beckoning to me. I
kissed her underwear through the fabric, and an indescribable fragrance wafted up, reminding me of the bittersweet taste of a Beijing girl
. She shifted her hips again, and I began kissing the base of her thighs. Then I pulled up the bottom of her panties
, revealing a clean, white vulva, glistening with abundant vaginal fluid. She suddenly sat up,
pushed me away, and crossed her arms over her chest, looking at me. I grabbed the blanket, moved closer, spread it open, and wrapped it around
her. She stared intently at me. I ignored her and leaned in to ask her a question. She didn't refuse, and we kissed each other
's tongues and lips. I slipped my hand under the blanket, touching her thighs, and after a moment, I began touching the base of her thighs,
then her vulva through her panties, playing with her labia majora and minora. Her breathing became rapid again. I gently
pulled up her panties and slipped my hand inside, directly touching her genitals. Wet and slippery
, the feeling was like something was stirring your heart, incomparable. A few minutes later, I got up and, with one
hand, pulled off her panties. She resisted a little, but also seemed to be looking forward to it, and half-heartedly, I pulled them off.
Now, she was completely naked, wrapped in a blanket. My penis was already painfully hard, and the pre-ejaculate
had soaked a large patch of her panties. I immediately took off my own underwear and quickly crawled into bed. She
was a little shy. I used the same trick again, kissing her forehead, following the same route. Soon, she relaxed.
I spread her legs and pressed myself against her, my penis rubbing against her thighs. For some reason
, she started to dazed. No matter what I did, she just stared at me blankly, her breathing slowing.
I didn't look at her, continuing to kiss her, but something felt wrong, so I looked at her.
She was crying.
A sense of guilt welled up inside me. I kissed away her tears and asked, "Darling, what's wrong?"
She said, "I'm scared."
I said, "What are you afraid of? I'm here."
She said, "This is my first time."
I was stunned, not knowing what to say. My mind was racing, but the image that flashed most was not her, but
my first love, because we had both lost our virginity at the same time.
She said, "Darling, what's wrong?"
I said, "I feel guilty. If you don't want to, we won't do it."
She said, "No, darling, I want to, but I feel like I'm not ready yet."
I said, "Okay, I won't force you." After saying that, I bent down to find my down jacket, took out a cigarette, lit it, and
took a few deep drags.
Beijing in winter is cold, but the ample heating made the room quite warm. I stood up naked,
my hard penis standing at a ninety-degree angle to my body. She watched me smoke without saying a word, because I had told
her that I didn't like smoking, I only smoked when I was depressed. And so, silence fell, except for
the smoke beginning to fill the room, the surrounding stillness making the whole room feel even more desolate. After I finished one cigarette and was about to get a second
, she got up and stopped me. I looked at her fair body, smooth and exposed before me, and my already
limp penis became erect again. She noticed this change too. She threw back the covers, stood up,
hugged me, and slowly dragged me to the bed. I was a little excited, my mind filled with scenes of having sex with women,
and I felt a bit numb. She started kissing my forehead, then my nose, my eyes, mimicking my kissing patterns
. When she finished kissing me and reached my lips, I hugged her, then rolled over and pinned her
beneath me. Her legs naturally spread, revealing a beautiful vulva. My mind was a little numb;
I didn't think too much, pounced on her, and slowly aimed at her vulva, gently thrusting forward.
She hummed in response, then involuntarily shrank back. I held her body with one hand, and with
the other, I grasped my penis, aligning it with her vagina. Once aligned, I took a deep breath, looking into
her eyes—the same eyes I'd just held—giving me an indescribable feeling. But
I had no time to dwell on it; my body thrust forward again, and she let out a loud "Ah…". My penis was
halfway inside her vagina. Because of my thrust, her body recoiled, but thankfully I held her tightly,
so halfway in. I slowly withdrew my penis, and she began to moan softly again. I could see
her pain; sweat was pouring down her forehead. I could feel
a lot of fluid beneath my penis, a slippery liquid filling our entire opening. I slowly
thrust my penis in and out of her vagina. She closed her eyes, gritting her teeth and silently responding. After several dozen thrusts, I plunged my entire
penis into her vagina. Her expression remained one of pain. A wave of dizziness and tingling sensation shot from my glans to my toes
, then to my brain. In a fit of rage, my semen gushed out. Unable to withdraw in time, I ejaculated inside her
. I lay on top of her, her tear stains and beads of sweat still visible. I kissed her lips, wanting to say something
, but unsure what to say. I could only say, "I will love you well." She didn't say anything, seemingly tired, and
closed her eyes to sleep. I got up, took out some tissues, and wiped my penis, which was covered in blood,
even my stomach. Then I wiped hers. Her genitals were covered in blood, and there was a patch of bright
red blood on the sheet beneath her buttocks. I gently wiped her vulva, and her body trembled uncontrollably. At that moment, my semen
mixed with blood flowed from her vulva. I caught it and wiped it dry. I wanted her to get up and shower before going to sleep,
but seeing how tired she was, I couldn't bear it. So I used toilet paper to cover the wet areas, then held her,
turned off the light, covered her with the blanket, and we fell asleep in each other 's arms
. The next day, when I woke up, I saw her crying. I was a little at a loss, remembering that after my first time with my girlfriend
, she also cried for a long time. I said, "I'm sorry, darling." She didn't say anything. I didn't know
what else to say, so I just held her and kissed her.
Around 10 a.m., because it was the first day of the Lunar New Year, it was a bit noisy outside. We got up and took a
bath together. She walked a little awkwardly, saying it hurt there, which I understood. After going out, we had lunch, and I went to
the pharmacy to buy her emergency contraception, which she took after she got home.
After her first time, we had sex more frequently. Because her school was in Daxing, and I was in
Sanyuanqiao, we could only meet on weekends. Every time, I would ejaculate inside her and then make her take the emergency contraception.
One day, she said to me, "Can we stop taking the pills? Every time I take them, my period is dark brown
and irregular. What if I can't have children in the future? How about we have a baby?" Deep down, I
also wanted a child, but what would happen if the child was born? We didn't even have a house. Did we
want our son to drift along with us? So, I could only remain silent and place the birth control pills in her hand.
These days, though uneventful, passed quickly. About six months later, although my
relationship with her was flourishing, my affair with the aunt from Jilin remained unaffected. I still frequently had
sex with this older woman. Although I now feel my tastes are rather heavy, in that situation, I was truly desperate. After all, I
could only be with her on weekends; from Monday to Friday, the older woman had to keep me company.
Six months later, an unexpected event brought us to the brink of a relationship crisis. Her parents came from their hometown, saying
they wanted to meet me. It was summer then, and I went to the train station early to pick them up, introducing them and
treating them with the highest level of hospitality. After spending a few days together, things seemed alright. But after they left, she seemed very unhappy
. I asked her what was wrong, and she said, "My parents aren't satisfied with you." I said, "Isn't it fine?"
She said, "My parents think you can't make me happy. I'm a teacher at a school,
with a permanent position and a Beijing hukou (household registration). My parents think I should find someone from Beijing." I said, "What do you think?"
She said, "I don't know."
From her "I don't know," I knew her answer. If she had said she was willing to struggle
and fight alongside me, I would have been incredibly grateful and would have done anything for her. But her answer...
I felt disheartened. Since then, our relationship has deteriorated significantly. We started
avoiding each other on weekends for various reasons, and later we only exchanged one or two text messages a week. I traveled a long way to her school in Daxing to find her, but
she avoided me.
Sitting on the bus home, I cried. I knew she wasn't the same person anymore. A few months
later, we basically lost contact. One time, I logged onto QQ and found she had disappeared from my friend list
. I knew I was on her blacklist. I learned from other classmates that she
was dating a promising young man from her school, a key member of the school and a local from Beijing. Hearing this,
the last glimmer of hope in my heart shattered. I was utterly despondent. For the first time, I went to my aunt
's room in Jilin, hugged her, and vented my frustrations on her. She still didn't say anything, just
stroked my hair, like a wealthy woman stroking a young man, like a mother stroking a wounded child.
The fifth person is my colleague, who is also my current colleague and fellow townsman.
She hadn't been with the company long, joining after my breakup with my high school classmate. She was twenty-three, a recent
graduate from Liaoning University. She and her boyfriend had recently broken up; he had moved to Guangdong, while she
had come to Beijing alone to pursue her dreams. Because the company was acquiring several new product distributors, the boss split the sales department into three:
Sales Department One, Sales Department Two, and Sales Department Three, each selling different products.
My previous performance had been quite good, so I became the manager of Sales Department Three
. The Beijing girl and most of the original staff stayed in Sales Department One. Aside from two old colleagues, we were basically a lone wolf, so I started
recruiting new people with the HR department. She was hired during this recruitment drive. Because we were from the same hometown, we
became very close, and since she had recently broken up, we quickly became familiar with each other. She was quite tall, about 1.64 meters
, with long, flowing hair. She always wore her gray business suit, which looked
refreshing and beautiful against the white shirt. Her features were quite pretty; perhaps not a striking beauty at first glance, but the
kind of girl who grows on you over time.
To be honest, at first, I wasn't particularly interested in her.
I only recruited her because she was from the same hometown, had a sweet tongue, and was quick-witted. At that time,
I had recently broken up with my high school classmate, and I was still thinking about her. Although I repeatedly asked myself if I truly loved her,
the answer was always vague. I still felt a sense of frustration, a feeling that I believe
anyone who has had a similar experience can understand. When I first joined the company, due to my breakup, I kept a certain distance from romance.
So, although we got along well, nothing sparked. This situation continued until the year-end
party.
Because the products our department sells are new, the market potential is huge. Although we've only
had six months, our sales volume surpasses that of the other two departments, especially Sales Department One, which
took them a year to catch up. At the year-end party, our department received substantial commissions, with each
person earning tens of thousands of yuan. I received a 100,000 yuan bonus for the first time. To create a festive atmosphere, the boss
withdrew hundreds of thousands of yuan in cash from the bank and placed it on the main table at the party.
Everyone's eyes lit up at the sight of this pile of cash upon entering the room. After the boss's speech, he began
distributing bonuses. I received the most, much to the envy and jealousy of everyone else.
After a few rounds of drinks, my colleagues became unusually lively and started playing Truth or Dare.
Everyone wrote a private question on a slip of paper, crumpled it up, and put it in a bowl. Then, each
person drew a slip and answered the question or performed the action specified on it. The slip of paper I drew
asked, "Are you a virgin? How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?" Although embarrassed,
I answered truthfully. Her slip of paper read, "Are you a single girl? How about being my girlfriend?"
She said dismissively, "I'm single. I don't want to be your girlfriend, either of you." Everyone
started teasing, saying, "Since you're single, and the department head is single too, why don't you two get together?"
Someone else said, "You're both from [a certain place] anyway, it'll be convenient for visiting relatives during the New Year." We both blushed furiously,
unanimously denying it, and that was how we brushed it off. Although it was just a game, it
still stirred something within me, and I believe she felt something similar.
From then on, I paid close attention to her, always wanting to know everything about her, so we
often found ourselves together, naturally or unnaturally. I used my Spring Festival bonus to buy a car, but since I wasn't eligible for the license plate lottery,
the car was registered in the name of that Beijing girl, because she helped me get a number. She
looked at me with disbelief, asking why the car was registered in her name—wasn't she afraid she'd sell it? I said, "I trust
you." She didn't say anything. Having a car made my travels much easier, and my radius of activity expanded significantly. She
often hitched a ride with me, and I frequently drove her home, to clients' meetings, or to errands. Gradually, our
relationship became quite delicate. We both considered each other our partners, but neither of us
dared to cross that line.
Until two months ago. She originally lived in Wangjing, sharing a room with a college classmate. Two
months ago, her year-long lease expired, and the agency demanded a rent increase, which they refused. Plus, her college classmate couldn't adapt
to life in Beijing and packed her bags to return to her hometown, leaving her alone and without a place to go. Renting alone
was too expensive and unsafe, and staying with her classmate felt inappropriate, since everyone was already sharing a cramped
apartment. At this point, she told me all this, and I was very happy, so I said, "Why don't you stay with me?"
She hesitated for a moment, but then agreed. I drove to help her move; her classmate had already left. Looking
at the empty room, I said, "When will I have a home in Beijing?" I felt a pang of sadness, reached out and hugged her,
then carried her things out the door.
After she moved in with me, I could feel Aunt Jilin's warmth, but behind that warmth seemed...
There was a hint of dissatisfaction in her, because every now and then she would find some trivial thing to deliberately start a fight with me.
I could understand her. Although I was eager to be with her, I still maintained a gentlemanly demeanor. She slept in the bed, and I slept
on an air mattress I bought from the supermarket. And so, we went to work together, left work together, ate together
, and slept together every day, but we never crossed the line into a physical relationship. Our colleagues were used to our intimacy but didn't think
anything of it.
This continued until last month. Her birthday came, and her company gave her a birthday allowance, while
our department treated her to a birthday cake and a party that evening. She was very happy, very high, like she was on stimulants, and
drank a lot of red wine. Finally, under the gaze of our colleagues, I carried her home. Back home,
she still seemed quite high, asking me, "**, do you like me?" She usually called me "boss,"
so her sudden use of my name made me a little awkward. I paused for a moment, but immediately replied, "I like you, I like
you." She said, "I like you too." At this point,
it would be foolish not to do something. I hugged her tightly and started kissing her…
A month has passed, and I still vividly remember our first time sleeping together.
Sometimes I'd freeze at a red light, my thoughts diving into my heart, searching
for my true feelings, asking myself if I truly loved her. The response was always a firm, resolute answer: Yes,
I truly loved her. That answer was unambiguous, unhesitating, and decisive. Every time this happened, I
'd glance at her in the passenger seat, smile, and she'd smile back, then place her hand in mine…
We passed a restaurant called Coral Sea, the aroma wafting from it making my mouth water, just like
the lubricant secreted by my penis during sex with her. I love sitting with her by the window, enjoying delicious food
while watching the bustling traffic outside. Her name contains the character "Shan," but that's not
why I love this restaurant. I love it here because I have so many memories with someone here.
That window seat, the beautiful view of that street, and the unpredictable clouds in the sky, like my future
…

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