Young married women in the city

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-24

When Shiyun received the call, she understood what the other person was saying after only a few words. After hanging up, she stood there, stunned, as if she had known all along.
A long time passed before tears began to well up in her eyes, quickly spreading across her face. She rushed to her room, closing the door to keep her mother, who was working in the kitchen, from seeing her. After the door closed, she suddenly felt a wave of dizziness, her body swaying as if she were about to fall. She quickly grabbed the doorknob, steadied herself, and leaned against the door, biting her fingers to stifle her sobs. After a while, she moved towards the bed, but after only two steps, she swayed again. She quickly took a large step forward, threw herself onto the bed, and collapsed onto it
, sobbing uncontrollably. She lay there crying, biting the sheets, crying silently. The sheets were completely soaked, as if drenched in tears; her heart ached more and more with each cry, as if it were being cried out. She kept asking herself, "Zhang Chu, why are you like this?" She desperately wanted to pounce on Zhang Chu and beat him up. But now, she was so far away from him, and all the hatred and pain had to be borne alone. How could she bear it? After a long time, as if she had cried all her tears, she rolled over and lay on her back on the bed, her eyes numb as she stared at the ceiling, her face frighteningly pale, as if the tears had washed away all the color of blood. She felt like she was dead, her body ice-cold, a bone-chilling cold. Suddenly, she heard her mother calling her from outside, saying that little Chu Chu was crying.
She immediately sat up, grabbed the sheets to wipe away her tears, then stood up, went to the mirror to look at her face, carefully wiped away the tear stains on her face, and then answered her mother and opened the door to go out.
When she came out, her mother was comforting the child while asking what she had been doing in the room for so long.
Then she said, "The child kept crying, I knew she must have peed again. Look, it's wet down there, the little one is uncomfortable and is fussing, and you didn't come to help the baby, how can you keep warm in this weather?"
Shiyun quickly took the child from her mother and comforted Chuchu to stop crying. Her mother brought a clean set of clothes to change Chuchu into. Shiyun said, "Don't change her yet, let's get some water to bathe the baby."
At this moment, Shiyun spoke these words almost unconsciously, as if it were a habitual way of speaking. The pain in her heart was locked away, numbed by the deepest heartbreak, and she felt nothing. She looked at Chuchu and suddenly thought, should she call Zhang Chu and ask him how he was doing? As she thought this, she picked up the child and dialed the number, but no one answered. She wondered if Zhang Chu had gone out with Shiming. When she thought of this, she suddenly froze, as if Zhang Chu and Shiming were originally a couple, and she had become an outsider.
She sat on the stool with Chuchu in her arms, vaguely remembering the scenes of Zhang Chu and Shiming often playing together, and the more she thought about it, the more painful it became. So, they had been together for a long time? Shiming's divorce was also because of Zhang Chu? She immediately dismissed the thought. When she was home alone, Zhang Chu never went anywhere, only staying by her side. He loved everything about her, curling up in her arms at night, biting and caressing her—this didn't seem like someone who had another woman. He must have gotten together with Shi Ming after she returned to Qingdao. He can't live without women, how could I have abandoned him?
After her mother prepared the bathwater, she asked Shi Yun to bathe Chu Chu. As she bathed Chu Chu, she couldn't help but think, "Chu Chu, your father doesn't want us anymore." As she thought this, tears rolled down her cheeks, which she quickly wiped away. She knew that her thoughts were only due to heartache; how could Zhang Chu not want her? He was just a greedy man, wanting all the women in the world.
After she finished bathing Chu Chu, her father came home from work. Shi Yun paced back and forth in the living room, holding the child, worried that she might suddenly burst into tears in front of her parents. She thought, "I can't let them know. If they find out, they'll definitely scold Shi Ming, and they'll scold Zhang Chu too, and things will be even worse." As she thought about these things, it was as if she were making decisions for someone else, searching for strategies in her mind.
She dialed home repeatedly, but no one answered. At that moment, only one thought occupied her mind: Zhang Chu and Shi Ming had gone out; where were they off having fun together? She was tormented by pain and burned by unrequited love. It wasn't until after 10 PM that she finally got through to Zhang Chu. When she heard him say "hello," tears streamed down her face. Her parents, watching TV nearby, assumed she was missing Zhang Chu and didn't ask.
She turned her face away, hiding it from them. She knew Shi Ming was right next to Zhang Chu, perhaps even embracing him. As she spoke into the phone, tears streamed down her face, but she desperately tried to hold them back, not wanting Zhang Chu to know she was crying. She had decided hours earlier that she couldn't let Zhang Chu know she knew everything. She could bear the pain, but Zhang Chu might not be able to handle the blow. He cared about her. He knew that if she found out, he would never be able to let go of the burden of his mistake towards her. In her heart, Zhang Chu was just a greedy child, willful and capricious. He needed to be pampered, especially by women. His happiness came from this, and it was that simple. Zhang Chu was her everything. Although he had made a mistake with her, he was her friend, lover, and husband for life. She couldn't let Zhang Chu's momentary mistake ruin her life's joy and happiness. Many women didn't understand this, but she did. She planned to only talk to Shi Ming, asking her to leave Zhang Chu, to give her back the complete Zhang Chu, and to give her a whole life. She didn't even intend to blame Shi Ming. She was her sister, and she had already suffered the blow of a failed marriage. Her being with Zhang Chu was just a moment of confusion. She was her older sister; how could she be so heartless as to steal her sister's man? Besides, her sister loved her man so much; she shouldn't interfere in her family. Her family was a happy, warm family, she always thought so, and everyone else thought so too, even her parents said so.
She asked Zhang Chu on the phone where he went after work. Zhang Chu told her he went swimming at the water park, then ate something casually outside, sat for a while at Gulou Square after dinner, and had just gotten back. Zhang Chu said that a musical fountain had been built at Gulou Square, and it only started flowing at night, so he waited a long time to get back. Shi Yun knew in her heart that Zhang Chu was lying; he must have been with Shi Ming. They went swimming at the water park together, ate together, and now… But she couldn't expose him. He was very proud and tried his best to protect what he had, to maintain his dignity in front of women and the love he received. She said to Zhang Chu, "You need to be more careful. You're all I think about. I can't sleep at night thinking about you. Is your Shi Yun okay?"
Zhang Chu said, "How can one word 'good' describe it? I've been waiting for you to come back soon. You said you'd be back in three weeks, and now I'm counting down the days. When you come back, I can hold you in my arms to sleep tonight."
Upon hearing this, Shi Yun's eyes immediately welled up with tears. Heartache and pain, love and indulgence—she couldn't express these feelings to Zhang Chu at that moment. She loved him too much and couldn't bear to cause him any sadness, not even the slightest unhappiness. She knew that Zhang Chu's words were sincere; he loved her. But Shi Yun felt something was strange. Zhang Chu always spoke to her like this on the phone. Would he speak like this if Shi Ming were there? She began to suspect the other person's call, but then she thought, why would someone call for no reason, especially when the things they said matched Zhang Chu's usual behavior? Zhang Chu was somewhat fickle; she had known this for a long time. Thinking of this, her heart ached again. She held back her tears and said to Zhang Chu, "Darling, do you know how much your wife loves you?"
Your wife is on leave at home taking care of the children, and she thinks of you every single moment. Your blood flows in my veins. Shiyun will always be moved, and Chuchu will be just as moved when he grows up. He'll say, "Daddy saved Mommy." Darling, sometimes I can't sleep, I worry about you being alone in Nanjing, you know?
Zhang Chu was somewhat surprised when he hung up the phone. What Shi Yun had said today had left him feeling very stifled; he had always felt guilty towards her. Every time he thought of Shi Yun, he wanted to move on, but it was just a fleeting thought, a pure longing, merely an expression of a desire. He went into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. Shi Ming lay on the bed, her face turned away from him, ignoring him. She had heard everything he had said to her sister, and it had made her sad. She had once told Zhang Chu to answer her sister's call in the living room, to close the door, so she wouldn't hear a single word from him. But after Zhang Chu actually closed the door, she became angry. She accused him of secretly saying nice things to her sister, and that he closed the door to avoid upsetting her. Then she interrogated him about what he had said. Forced into a corner, Zhang Chu started talking with the door open from then on, so Shi Ming wouldn't question him or suspect what he had said and become upset.
Seeing Shi Ming's anger, Zhang Chu got into bed, hugged her, and tried to comfort her. Shi Ming shook off Zhang Chu's embrace and said, "Don't pretend with me. Save your nice words for your sister. Isn't she coming back soon? You'll be able to sleep when she gets back. You couldn't sleep when you slept with me. I'm not as good as your sister. I keep you up at night. What do you need me for?"
Hearing Shi Ming's words, Zhang Chu angrily lay down on the bed and muttered to himself, "I'm so tired of living. I can't say anything. Whatever I say will make someone angry, and then they'll ignore me. What's the point? How many nice things have I said for this? How many more times do I have to say them? Sometimes I feel so tired. Loving someone is so tiring. Why do I even love? Isn't it good to be alone? At work and after work, I'm always thinking about her. What should I eat today? Where should I go tomorrow night? Is something wrong with her that she hasn't come back so late? If I don't receive a call from her all day, I feel like I've lost my soul. I have no energy for anything. Even when I make love to her, I'm thinking about making her happy. Where am I, even for myself, when I love someone like this?" Even when she's angry, she doesn't care if I'm right or wrong; she just goes up and apologizes first. Does living like this give me any sense of self? Is it meaningful? I'll leave someday. Hate me then; you'll never find me again. Let's see who you hate then. I hope you find someone who doesn't treat you like this, someone who brings you more happiness, someone who is more forgiving. Right now…
As Zhang Chu said this, Shi Ming's face was already covered in tears. She sat up and covered Zhang Chu's mouth, stopping him from continuing. She knew all too well that Zhang Chu was tired, tired of love, tired of being burdened by affection. It's just that she was used to arguing with Zhang Chu; whenever she couldn't get over something, she would argue with him. Her arguing wasn't the goal; it was just an emotional outburst. She liked to tease Zhang Chu a little. She didn't realize that her teasing made him unhappy. His concessions, his attempts to please her, were just to make things pass quickly. Thinking about this, she felt sad and hated herself for not understanding Zhang Chu in this regard.
Seeing Shi Ming cry, Zhang Chu realized he had spoken too harshly again. He quickly sat up, hugged Shi Ming, and said, "I won't say anything anymore, okay?" Shi Ming hugged Zhang Chu's waist, looking aggrieved, and said, "I'm going to annoy you to death! It's your fault for always giving in to me."
On Monday noon, Shi Ming was about to take a nap in her dormitory when she suddenly heard a knock at the door. She got dressed and went to open it. When the door opened, Shi Ming froze. Shi Yun stood outside, looking haggard and exhausted. Seeing Shi Yun, Shi Ming immediately understood: Shi Yun knew everything about her and Zhang Chu. Her mind went blank. She stood there, speechless, even forgetting to call her "sister." She had already decided that if Shi Yun found out, she would accept whatever Shi Yun did to her. But seeing Shi Yun now, she felt it had all happened too fast, too suddenly. She couldn't bear to leave Zhang Chu.
Shi Yun had originally planned to call Shi Ming from Qingdao, begging her sister to leave Zhang Chu without alerting him. But she knew this was no small matter for her; she couldn't treat it so lightly. She had to persuade her sister to leave Zhang Chu. Zhang Chu was charming to girls; for a girl to fall in love with him and leave him required willpower, a strong suicidal will—to kill her own emotions, to kill her own love, to truly leave him. She knew her sister; she was like her, someone who valued her emotions highly, and for such a person, leaving Zhang Chu was even more difficult. She had to come back and beg her sister to give Zhang Chu back to her as he was. As Shi Yun stepped into the room and closed the door, Shi Ming suddenly knelt down with a thud, hugging Shi Yun's legs, tears streaming down her face. She said, "Sister, nothing I say now will matter. I know you're heartbroken; it's all my fault. I was lonely, and while you were away, I seduced Zhang Chu. Now, it's up to you whether you scold or punish me. I just beg you not to make things difficult for Zhang Chu. He loves you, he thinks of you, and he longs for your return every day. If you blame him, he won't be able to bear it." His biggest fear and worry is that you know about him. "Sister, don't ruin Zhang Chu because of me. He's been carrying a burden with me, always saying sorry to you. Sister, please don't tell me anything anymore. I'll never see Zhang Chu again. I hate him. He shouldn't have betrayed you. I don't want to see him again. Please, sister, let him go. Don't make things too difficult for him!"
When Shi Ming said this, Shi Yun found herself in a difficult position. She had originally thought her sister wouldn't agree to leave Zhang Chu, but her sister had said it herself, and kept saying she was wrong. From Shi Ming's words, Shi Yun knew that Shi Ming deeply loved Zhang Chu, but her sister seemed unaware of how much she knew Zhang Chu—he couldn't withstand setbacks. He could love passionately, but his love could only grow in a greenhouse, unable to withstand storms. This was determined by his personality; she couldn't blame him. A person's personality determines the kind of person they become. She knew Zhang Chu from the first day she met him. Her love for him wasn't based on something she didn't know. Thinking of all this, she slowly squatted down, touching Shiming's face, tears streaming down her face. At that moment, she felt a pang of reluctance to part with Shiming. Shiming was her sister, always her dear sister, irreplaceable by anyone else in the world; they were sisters. What did it matter that her sister had stolen her older sister's man?
She suddenly hugged Shiming and burst into tears. She was crying for Shiming, not for herself. Shiming deserved a good man. It wasn't her fault that she fell in love with Zhang Chu. Such an outstanding girl deserved a good man.
Shiyun didn't stay in Nanjing; she hurriedly boarded the train back to Qingdao that afternoon. She worried that Zhang Chu wouldn't be able to handle it if he knew she knew everything. She also worried that Zhang Chu wouldn't forgive her if he knew she had driven Shiming away. Her love was so complicated, so agonizing, and she was wholeheartedly protecting him. Before boarding the train, she called Zhang Chu from the station square to ask about his situation. She tried to speak to Zhang Chu with a smile on the phone, but in her heart, she cried out, "Zhang Chu, I'm in Nanjing, your wife is in Nanjing. She longs to go back and spend the night with you before leaving, but she doesn't even dare to go to the door to look at you, do you know that? Your woman loves you so much it hurts her to death. She will never leave you again, she will bind your feet, tie your heart, and keep your love forever, Zhang Chu." As Shi Yun cried these words in her heart, she almost burst into tears, but she dared not. In her heart, Zhang Chu would always be a good man, a good husband, a good lover, and a good friend. She didn't want to make him sad.
After hanging up with Shi Yun, Zhang Chu felt a strange sense of loss. He checked the time; it was past seven o'clock. Shi Ming should be back by now. He turned on the TV, impatiently changing channels with the remote. After a while, he checked the time again; it was past eight o'clock, and Shi Ming still hadn't returned. He went to the balcony to look. The streetlights below were dim, and there were few pedestrians. He stood there for a while, his anxiety growing. Shiming hadn't returned so late; something must have happened. Otherwise, she would have called him if she was late, to let him know so he wouldn't worry. He went back to the living room and insisted on sitting there waiting, telling himself that nothing was wrong with Shiming; she must have been delayed by something.
But by nine o'clock, Zhang Chu couldn't sit still any longer. He found a piece of paper and wrote on it, "Ming, I went out to look for you. Don't go anywhere when you come back. I'm so worried. Love, Chu." Then he hung it on the vase on the table so that Shi Ming would easily see it when she returned. He closed the door and went to the bus stop. On the bus, he wondered if Shi Ming was sick. When he arrived at Shi Ming's workplace, he thought that Shi Ming might be home by now, so he called home from a public phone booth to see if she had arrived. No one answered the phone; Shi Ming hadn't returned home yet. He went to Shi Ming's dormitory, but when he got there, he suddenly realized he had forgotten his keys. He stood at the door and knocked, but no one answered. Shi Ming wasn't there. He hesitated, thinking he should go back. Shi Ming couldn't be in the dormitory; she must have gone somewhere.
Actually, Shi Ming was in her room. When Zhang Chu knocked, she desperately hoped that he would open the door; she hadn't realized that Zhang Chu didn't have his keys. But even though Zhang Chu had it, he couldn't open it. Zhang Chu didn't know that she was leaving him from this day forward. How she wished she could stay with him one more night; he was her Zhang Chu, the one she loved. She didn't want to leave him, but she had no choice. The moment she heard Zhang Chu knocking and calling her name, tears streamed down her face. Barefoot, she quietly walked to the door and looked at Zhang Chu through the crack. "Zhang Chu, I'm inside. I once said I was your wife, and you once said I was your wife. Can you hear my heart beating now? Can you hear my tears falling? Can you hear me calling your name in my heart? My Zhang Chu, don't say your Shiming is cruel. Shiming's heart is dead now. Without you, Shiming will never smile again. Love your sister well, Shiming will always love you..."
As Zhang Chu started to come downstairs, Shiming leaned against the door, her body slowly slumping down. In her heart, she cried out, "Zhang Chu, don't go, let me see you." As Zhang Chu was about to disappear at the top of the stairs, Shi Ming grabbed the door lock, almost trying to twist it open, rush out, and throw herself into Zhang Chu's arms. But she slowly lowered her hand. She had promised Shi Yun, she couldn't… She suppressed her grief, covering her mouth and crying.
Zhang Chu returned home close to ten o'clock. He was completely uneasy. On his way back, he had been watching carefully for any traffic accidents. Shi Ming had never acted like this before; something must have happened to her today! But how could he find out? Had Shi Ming argued with him again? He thought, how could that be? We were fine last night, how could Shi Ming be in trouble?
He suppressed his unease and waited for Shi Ming, telling himself that she would definitely come back, that nothing would happen to her. But when midnight arrived, Zhang Chu couldn't hold on any longer. A deep sorrow welled up inside him, and he had only one thought: something must have happened to Shi Ming. But he still couldn't convince himself otherwise. He went downstairs, took a taxi to Shi Ming's dormitory, and this time brought his key. When he arrived at Shiming's dormitory, he knocked and called out, "Shiming," but no one answered. He took out his key to open the door, only to find that the lock wouldn't open; the key was wrong. The lock had been changed.
Almost instantly, Zhang Chu's spirit completely collapsed. His first thought was that Shiming had left him; he had a boyfriend. He stood there blankly at the door, hesitating for a long time, before calling out, "Shiming, are you there?" No one answered, and tears streamed down his face. Shiming had finally left him; she hadn't even told him, just left him like that. She must be with her friend now. Shiming… After calling out this in his heart, he didn't know what else to say. He just stood there, tears streaming down his face, tears of sorrow, tears of a man who hadn't grown up. And he didn't know that inside that door, at this moment, a pair of red, swollen eyes were watching him through the crack in the door, also calling his name in their hearts. She wanted to open the door several times and throw herself into his arms, but she had already made a promise to Shiyun; she didn't have the courage to take that step again. Her biggest regret now is that she wasted so much time arguing with him instead of being loving and devoted to each other.
In her heart, she said, "Zhang Chu, go home. Your sister will be back soon. Everything Shi Ming gave you, your sister has given you. You always said that everything your sister has is the best. Zhang Chu, in the next life, I'll marry you before your sister. Zhang Chu, go home, go home and take a shower. Have you had dinner? If you don't leave soon, I'm opening the door, Zhang Chu..."
Zhang Chu stood at the door for a while, tears streaming down his face, before slowly dragging himself down the stairs. The stairwell was dark, and he couldn't see the steps clearly, so he gripped the railing and slowly made his way down. From the fifth floor to the first, he almost exhausted himself. On the first floor, he sat down on the last step. The damp stairwell was swarming with mosquitoes, biting and stinging him, but he barely felt them. He sat there numbly for a long time before finally getting up and leaving.
It was almost two o'clock when he got home. He lay on the bed, still naked, his mind blank. He couldn't believe Shiming had left him like this. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding, or maybe he cared too much about Shiming, always thinking the worst about anything. How could Shiming leave him? Shiming had said she would never leave him in this life; she was his Shiming.
He couldn't sleep all night, lying in bed overwhelmed with thoughts. The next morning, as soon as he arrived at his office, he called Shiming's office. The person who answered told him that Shiming hadn't come to work yet. A while later, he called again, and the person who answered said that Shiming had taken a long leave and gone on a trip.
He was almost stunned when he hung up the phone. Standing by the window, if he hadn't hardened his heart, tears would have rolled down his cheeks. He rushed to the bathroom, locked himself in a stall, and sat on the toilet, silently weeping. Everything was finally confirmed. The day he feared most had finally arrived: Shiming had left him. The love he had tried so hard to protect had betrayed him. He had been abandoned. Sitting on the toilet, his heart was ice-cold. Shi Ming left him without a word; he was coldly and suddenly abandoned by her. He had once been a man in her eyes, a man who had conquered her emotionally and physically! Only now did he realize that he was nothing.
He sat on the toilet for what seemed like an eternity, waiting until his tears dried before returning to his office. When he got back, Xiao Xu was there. Xiao Xu was surprised to see him and asked if he was feeling unwell. He replied that he wasn't. After he sat down, Xiao Xu sat opposite him blankly, quietly asking if something was wrong and telling him not to keep it bottled up.
He suddenly remembered a game he played as a child. He told Xiao Xu, "When I was little, I played a game of stacking blocks. You stack all the blocks together, then flick your finger at any one of the middle blocks. After that block flies off, the blocks above it land steadily without collapsing." When I grew up, I stopped playing with building blocks and started playing with bricks. I would stack many bricks together, then grab one brick in my hand and try to smash it down on the middle one. The brick would fly out, and the bricks on top would always fall down, but I never succeeded. Once, the stack of bricks fell on my feet, cutting me in several places and causing a lot of bleeding.
Xiao Xu was a little confused as to why Zhang Chu was telling this story. She said to Zhang Chu, "Maybe you didn't use enough force." Zhang Chu replied, "It's because the bricks aren't smooth." In childhood, everything we held was smooth; now, nothing we hold is smooth. Just as Zhang Chu finished speaking, Ms. Chen came in. When she saw Zhang Chu's listless expression, she guessed what was wrong. She went to talk to Zhang Chu, trying to cheer him up. As she spoke, she was also sweetly thinking about their child. She thought that after a while, she would tell Zhang Chu this and make him happy.
After Xiao Xu and Ms. Chen left, he sat there blankly, heartbroken. He couldn't understand it; he felt Shi Ming should have told him. They had broken up; shouldn't she have said goodbye? He loved her; she should know that even though he had caused her so much pain, they had also shared many sweet moments together. He couldn't figure it out all day. Every time the phone rang, he rushed to answer it, thinking to himself, "This time it must be Shi Ming," but each time it was the same disappointment. Before leaving get off work, he called Shi Yun. Shi Yun arrived home in the morning. From Zhang Chu's slightly hoarse voice, she knew he must have cried. She silently shed tears, unsure if for herself or for Zhang Chu. But she still asked, "What's wrong?" Zhang Chu so wanted to tell someone, "Shi Ming is gone; she's left me," but who could he tell? He really wanted to find someone to throw himself into her arms and cry his heart out. He asked Shi Yun, "When are you coming back?" Shi Yun said, "Since you miss me so much, I'll come back soon. I won't wait three weeks. I miss you too."
After Zhang Chu hung up the phone, everyone in the office was busy leaving, and he suddenly felt lost and disoriented. Shi Ming was gone; what would he do back there? Being alone in an empty room was terrifying; he was afraid of that loneliness, afraid of that solitude.
When he went downstairs, Ms. Chen was still in the office, but he didn't stop; he left without even saying goodbye. Ms. Chen had intentionally stayed to wait for him, wanting to talk to him and offer him some comfort. She even hoped Zhang Chu would take her home, where she could undress him. What Shi Ming could give him, she could give him too. But as Zhang Chu silently walked past her, she sat in her office, feeling a pang of self-pity.
After going downstairs, Zhang Chu still went to Shi Ming's dormitory. He was still unwilling to give up; he didn't believe Shi Ming had gone on a trip. She must be at home, just unwilling to see him again. He thought to himself, she must have a boyfriend now, a boyfriend much better than him.
He just wanted to see her one more time, to let her know she was in Nanjing, that she was doing well—that would be enough for him. What more could he ask for? He had loved her after all; how could he not care about her? She had once lived in his heart, and she would forever reside there; she was his Shiming.
He arrived at Shiming's dormitory and, as usual, took out his key to open the door. The lock wouldn't open; the key didn't match the lock. He stood there, stunned, calling out in his heart, "Shiming." At that moment, he so desperately wanted to throw himself onto Shiming's bed and cry his heart out. He cried out in his heart, "Shiming, you can't leave me."
He left Shiming's place, finding nowhere to go; he didn't want to go anywhere. When he returned, it was already dark. As he dragged his heavy steps upstairs, he didn't know that someone was hiding behind him in a dark corner, secretly watching him go upstairs, her face covered in tears. She wanted to go up and call out to him, even more, she wanted to hug his waist and walk back with him.
She hadn't been close to him for two days; she missed him, her tears had dried up, and she couldn't sleep at night. She wasn't used to sleeping alone anymore; she wanted him to hold her as she slept. Zhang Chu, do you know I'm right behind you right now? "How come you didn't find me? Where did you look for me?" Zhang Chu…
Zhang Chu returned home, groped his way to the sofa in the dark, knelt on the floor, buried his head in the sofa, and silently shed tears. He had never experienced such pain before; he couldn't accept it all. It all came too suddenly! He loved her so much, how could she leave him like this? Did she never love him at all?
As he thought these painful thoughts, the phone rang. He got up to answer it; it was Shi Yun. He felt a surge of comfort. He tried his best to raise his voice, pretending to be cheerful, but he couldn't find the tone he used to joke with Shi Yun. What he missed most now was when Shi Yun would come back. He needed Shi Yun; she was his love. At this moment, he especially needed Shi Yun's comfort. Shi Yun sensed the immense pain in his voice. She felt she should return to Zhang Chu's side as soon as possible; she couldn't let Zhang Chu remain trapped in this pain. If this continued, he would break down in agony. He wasn't someone who could withstand painful blows; he loved his own things too much, including women. After talking with Zhang Chu for a long time, she told him she would go back early.
This weekend seemed a bit unusual. A strong wind had been blowing since the afternoon and hadn't stopped by nightfall. Alone in the dark room, listening to the howling wind outside, he felt especially lonely. He missed Shiming; he didn't know where she was. These days, he went to Shiming's dormitory every day after work, hoping to suddenly see her return. He wanted to see her just once; she was his Shiming.
After it got completely dark, it started to rain. At first, the raindrops were sparse, then it became a torrential downpour. He sat by the window, watching the thunder and rain outside, feeling a little afraid. Through the darkness, he seemed to see Shiming running in the rain, running towards him. As she ran, she called his name all the way.
He left the window, sat blankly on the sofa, feeling lost and unable to find peace. He suddenly remembered what Xiao Xu had told him when she got off work; she had asked Zhang Chu where the Mustard Seed Garden was. Mustard Seed Garden was Li Yu's private garden, built during the Kangxi era. Its pavilions, terraces, doors, windows, plaques, ponds, rockeries, flowers, trees, and furnishings were all meticulously arranged. Li Yu described it in several places in his *Idle Thoughts*. It was also the publishing house where Li Yu published his books. Zhang Chu only knew this much. Over three hundred years have passed, and Mustard Seed Garden has left no trace; few people even know of it. Xiao Xu wanted Zhang Chu to accompany her to search for Mustard Seed Garden in the wild, overgrown paths the next day, saying it was to find a sigh of the vicissitudes of time amidst the layers of history.
Zhang Chu knew Mustard Seed Garden was in the southwest corner of Nanjing, but he didn't know its exact location. He couldn't even tell if it was inside or outside the city walls, on this side or the other side of the Qinhuai River. He picked up the phone and called Xiao Xu, wanting to ask her where they were going to search for Mustard Seed Garden the next day. After receiving his call, Xiao Xu asked why he wasn't out for leisure. He forgot to ask her about Mustard Seed Garden and told her, "I miss you."
After hanging up the phone, Xiao Xu called a taxi and rushed over. Almost as soon as he opened the door, he pulled Xiao Xu into his arms. "Oh, Shiming, you're back," he thought to himself, tears soaking Xiao Xu's chest. He led her into the room, carried her to the bed, and in the dark, undressed her completely. Then, holding her body, he caressed and kissed her repeatedly…
a thousand tender moments, as if born from the pain of the past few days. He caressed her for an unknown amount of time before finally removing his own clothes, lying on top of Xiao Xu, and kissing her. Through tears in his pain, he said to Xiao Xu, "I'm going in." Then he parted Xiao Xu's legs and slowly pushed his penis into her vagina. During the push, he encountered resistance. He kissed Xiao Xu, then thrust forcefully, his penis breaking through the resistance and penetrating inside. He stirred, probed, and roamed joyfully inside… At that moment, he felt no pain, only pleasure! Oh, Shiming… Outside, a fierce storm raged, and he climaxed on Xiao Xu amidst the downpour…
Suddenly, he was awakened by a series of chaotic footsteps. He sat up and saw Shiyun standing by the bed with shocked eyes. In a panic, he pushed Xiao Xu away. Xiao Xu opened her eyes, saw Shiyun, and cried out, frantically searching for her clothes in her confusion and shame. Zhang Chu grabbed a piece of clothing and immediately jumped out of bed. He stood in front of Shiyun but didn't know what to say. His legs trembled, and he wanted to call out to Shiyun, but no words came out. His mind and body seemed to have completely collapsed. Suddenly, he knelt down in front of Shiyun with a thud.
Almost simultaneously, he called out for the first time, "Shiyun!" But Shiyun was completely enraged at this moment. She never expected to see this scene when she returned. The person she had carefully protected had turned out like this! Was this her Zhang Chu? In her anger, she suddenly raised a hand and slapped Zhang Chu across the face…
Zhang Chu was immediately knocked to the ground. He sat on the ground, staring at Shi Yun in utter shock. She had never treated him like this before! Was this really Shi Yun? Had she abandoned him too? Shi Yun, too, was shocked to see Zhang Chu lying on the ground. She hadn't expected to hit him; she must be crazy! Zhang Chu, do you know your Shi Yun is calling you? As their eyes still clashed in astonishment, Xiao Xu suddenly screamed and rushed out of the room. Zhang Chu immediately jumped up and followed Xiao Xu, calling out to her to stop.
It was barely dawn, and the rain was even heavier than the night before; visibility was reduced to just a few meters. Xiao Xu rushed out of the building and ran barefoot and naked through the downpour. Zhang Chu chased after her, calling her name repeatedly, begging her to stop. Suddenly, a black sedan sped out from the side road. Zhang Chu saw it and tried to dodge, but his foot slipped, and he fell in the middle of the road. The black sedan ran him over. A few meters ahead, Xiao Xu heard a scream behind her and turned around in shock. The black sedan, as if out of control, crashed into her, continuing for several meters before stopping. The driver got out, saw the scene, and fled in terror.
Zhang Chu lay in the middle of the road, blood pooling in the rain. A few meters away, Xiao Xu lay on the roadside, her crimson blood seeping out in the rain. Slowly, the two streams of blood merged in the torrential rain, flowing forward with the rushing water...
Just then, Shi Yun ran into the downpour, chasing after Zhang Chu, calling out his name...

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