A man's firsthand account: The days after I discovered my wife's affair

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-24

"There is no such thing as loyalty; loyalty arises from insufficient temptation. There is no such thing as righteousness; righteousness arises from low penalties for betrayal." Of course, we absolutely believe in the existence of unwavering, undying love in this world. But this statement forces us to consider how to maintain our integrity and cherish the happiness we already have in this "city full of temptations."

I can't believe my wife of five years has a lover

. My wife and I have been married for five years. We are very loving and have never argued in all these years. She works at a bank branch; she is smart, capable, and quick-witted. Over the years, her strong business acumen has led her to the position of deputy head of the branch, and she is very busy. She has also been socializing more often, which is normal for work. Plus, I'm quite busy myself, so I never noticed anything wrong between us.

One day, I wasn't too busy. I didn't have much to do at the company, and I realized it had been a long time since I'd eaten out with my wife. So I drove to her workplace, wanting to surprise her, and didn't call her. When I got there, I parked my car across from her workplace. It was almost time for her to get off work, so I didn't go inside and just waited for her there. Just then, I saw a Honda drive up in front of her bank. I didn't pay much attention, just glanced at it casually. Suddenly, I saw my wife get out of the car. I saw a middle-aged man roll down the window, and my wife bent down. The man whispered something in her ear, and my wife laughed and playfully hit him twice. The man laughed, turned the car around, and drove away. My wife stood there, smoothing her slightly disheveled hair, watching the departing car before turning and going into the bank. My heart sank, but I thought maybe it was an important client of hers, so I didn't think much of it. Not long after, my wife got off work, and I drove over. When she saw me, she looked surprised, but didn't say much before getting in the car. I said, "Let's go out for dinner together tonight." She happily agreed, saying she was too tired after a long day at work to cook. I said, "You must be so busy and exhausted." She said, "No, that's right. I've been locked up at work all day and haven't even stepped outside." My heart sank. I looked at her closely and noticed her makeup was clearly freshly touched up, and although her hair had been combed, it was still slightly messy. "Why are you looking at me? Don't you recognize me?" my wife said playfully, giving me a light tap. I immediately thought of the scene I'd just witnessed—my wife laughing as she hit that man. Dinner was tasteless, but my wife kept happily cuddling with me. Looking at her happy face, I didn't dare think any further; my heart felt heavy and painful. That night, my wife was very passionate, and we made love for half the night.

For the next two or three months, I kept an eye on my wife's behavior, but nothing seemed amiss, so I relaxed. I figured I was just being paranoid. Just as I was letting my guard down, something else happened that made me suspicious. I discovered that my wife had switched her phone to vibrate mode sometime during the day. A few times when we were together, I saw her secretly reach into her bag to hang up the phone, and I pretended not to see. Sometimes I really wanted to check her bag, but I was afraid she'd find out and it would affect our relationship. She used to just leave her bag lying around when she got home, but now she's very careful to keep it within her sight. Was I really at my wit's end? Suddenly, I remembered. Her SIM card was registered using my ID; if anything happened, they could definitely find out.

Thinking of this, I immediately went to the telecommunications company and checked the phone records. I saw that there was indeed a problem. One number was contacting her very frequently; they contacted each other every day, sometimes nearly thirty times. Now I had a clue, proving I wasn't wrong. The next step was to get evidence against them. Even though she was very careful, there must be times when she slipped up. One day, the opportunity finally came. That time, I came home and found her bag at home, but she was nowhere to be seen. I quickly opened my bag, took out my phone, and checked the text message. It was indeed from that number. The man in the message called her "my darling," and she called him "husband." From the messages, it seemed they had been dating more than once. And the content was incredibly cheesy. That day, my wife called, saying she wouldn't be home for dinner; a friend was having a birthday party and she'd be back late. I immediately stopped working and went to her workplace, but I didn't dare drive my own car, so I borrowed one from a friend and waited there until almost the end of the workday. Sure enough, after get off work, the Honda arrived on time. My wife walked out of the door, beaming, and got into the car. I followed them all the way to a hotel. From a distance, I saw them get out of the car, and the man half-embraced, half-carried my wife into the hotel. He kept leaning down to whisper something in her ear, making her playfully pinch his cheek. Watching them go inside, I felt like my heart had been ripped out. I went to a restaurant alone, opened a bottle of liquor, and drank it all. The choking made my eyes water, and soon the alcohol hit me, making me dizzy. I called my friend to take the car away and took a taxi home. It was almost 11 PM when I got home, and she still wasn't back. I hadn't eaten much dinner; my stomach was churning, and all the undigested food from lunch came up. I collapsed in the living room, too weak to get up, and vomited all over myself and the floor. Soon after, I remembered nothing. When I woke up, it was late at night. I was lying in bed, my head throbbing like it was going to explode. Through the crack in the door, I saw my wife busy in the living room. My clothes had been changed, and I had been cleaned up. Seeing that it was past 2 AM, I called to her. My wife rushed in, said she was awake, poured me a glass of water, and brought me some hangover medicine. She scolded me, saying, "Why did you drink so much while I wasn't home? Who were you drinking with? Can't you just stop drinking? It's bad for your health." I didn't say anything, watching her busy herself for me, the words stuck in my throat. I only asked if we could talk sometime. I saw her body tremble slightly, and she laughed, saying, "We're together every day, why do we need to find time? We're not dating anymore, we're an old married couple, what's there to talk about?" Then she went back to tidying the living room. Seeing her busy figure

, I really couldn't say anything. Yes, we've been together for several years, and gradually we've neglected some things. But I love her, she can't treat me like this. Who can I tell? I don't dare tell my family, afraid my parents will be angry, and even more afraid my hot-blooded nephews and nieces will cause me trouble.

After confirming my wife's infidelity, I've been painfully planning...

Since finding out, I've been living in pain. On the surface, I still force a smile, life is so tiring, I'm even losing the will to live. Before, I had a happy family, and my career was also quite successful. My friends all envy me. If people find out about this, how can I go on living? What should I do? My mind is completely blank. Can anyone tell me what to do? No one could bear this. I thought about going back to destroy that guy, but I have a family, parents, siblings, and a young child. My responsibilities in life are far more important than this.

After several days of careful consideration, I decided to transfer all my family assets first—that's the first step. Once everything is done, I'll cut off all ties and leave. After finalizing my plan, I started to act. First, I called a classmate who lived far away and told him I was going to do some business and would be transferring money through his company. After getting his consent, I started preparing. I planned to transfer the money, use it to register another company, and then transfer the money to my aunt's house. That way, she wouldn't be able to find it.

After everything was ready, I talked to my wife. I said my classmate's company in the south was doing well, but he lacked funds and wanted us to invest. My wife said, "Okay, but you need to do an on-site investigation and show me the company's detailed information so I can see if it's worth investing in." These were easy tasks; I finished them in a few days. My wife confidently handed over all our savings. As soon as I saw it, I suggested we mortgage the house to get more funds for faster cash flow. She agreed, and it was all done quickly. After everything was settled, I felt empty inside. Looking at her carefree expression, I wondered how she would feel knowing all this.

In the days that followed, I often reported to her how promising the investment was. Then, I also prepared to withdraw my investment. Seeing her kept in the dark made me feel bad. One day, I suddenly asked her, "What if we lose everything?" She laughed and said, "Isn't money something people earn? We were penniless before, and we still managed. Why are you asking this so strangely today?" I remained silent.

To be honest, I'm just too soft-hearted. Seeing how trusting she was of me, I couldn't bear to deceive her. Several times I almost told her, but the words stuck in my throat. I thought, "I won't say anything more; I'll just treat her well now." Every weekend, we'd bring the kids back from my parents' house and enjoy a pleasant holiday together, going to the park and shopping. Late at night, I'd often wake up alone. Seeing her curled up beside me, fast asleep, I really couldn't bear to abandon her.

A thought would well up inside me: "Forget it, I won't expose her. I'll be more considerate and caring, making her feel the warmth of home. I'll just let it go, like a passing cloud." I really didn't want my family, my children, to be hurt. The children are still young; if they were hurt, the consequences would be far greater than for adults. I could always find someone else, but what about the children? Sigh, staying at home for too long only leads to indecisiveness.

Thinking about all this, I gave up a lot of things during that period to take care of my family. I would often hug my wife and tell her deeply, "I love you!" Every time, her eyes would well up with tears, her rims red. During that time, I truly forgave her from the bottom of my heart, even though she was kept in the dark. I thought she might let it go, and I would never let her know what I had discovered.

Just when I was about to forgive her, something else triggered me

. I still thought there was a possibility of reconciliation. If that were the case, I would never have revealed what I had discovered, preventing that rift from appearing, only letting my heart bleed. But she disappointed me again. That day was her birthday, and I bought her a watch to give her at dinner that evening. I went to her in the afternoon and invited her to a candlelight dinner. But she insisted that she had something to do that night and couldn't get away. I asked her if she really had something to do. She said yes, but she avoided looking at me, her hands unconsciously clutching her clothes. "Does it have to be today?" I asked. She nodded. I said, "Okay, I'm going to my dad's for dinner tonight." I was so angry I wanted to slap her, but I held back. I went straight to my dad's house, had dinner, and played with the kids. I didn't plan to go home that night. Late at night, she called, but I didn't answer. She called again and again until I finally turned it off. She called again, and I was afraid of waking my parents, so I went home with her. "Are you angry? I really have something to do, I'm sorry." I said no, I was just tired and fell asleep. "Then why didn't you call and tell me? I called you but no one answered. It was really worrying. I thought something had happened to you. You're so old, why are you still acting like a child?" She was blaming me, and I really wanted to yell at her to vent my anger.

Back home, lying in bed, I couldn't sleep at all; I just wanted to vent my anger. I got up and went to the bathroom. I immediately saw her underwear on the sink, covered in a sticky liquid. My anger flared up. She usually soaked it in a basin after changing, but today, maybe she forgot because I wasn't home. In a moment of impulsiveness, I rushed into the kitchen, grabbed a cleaver, and went to the bedside. But then I thought of my lovely child, and my resolve softened. I went into the bathroom and turned on the cold water to shower. Just then, my wife got up. She asked why I wasn't sleeping in the middle of the night. I said I was hot and just wanted to take a shower. "Why are you taking a cleaver while showering?" she asked. "Am I sleepwalking?" I thought. She laughed and told me to go to sleep and stop tossing and turning. Back in bed, she buried her face in my chest. I really wanted to kick her off. Impulsiveness is a devil, truly terrifying. Otherwise, how many loved ones would suffer tomorrow? And that person would live a carefree and happy life. I'm going to divorce her, handing my wife over to him. Let them play out this tragedy. The next day, when my wife saw the watch I bought her, she excitedly hugged me, making me put it on her wrist, saying, "I'm sorry, I really shouldn't have spoiled your fun." I said it was okay, as long as you're happy, that's my wish. I drove her all the way to her workplace, and she still didn't want to get out of the car.

Now that things had come to this, I had to hurry and implement my plan.

Since that incident, my wife has been coming home more often and not so late anymore. Except for necessary social engagements, she's mostly home. She always cooks something I like and waits for me to come back. These peaceful days conceal her inner turmoil. To complete my plans as quickly as possible, I went to the south. After several busy days, I fulfilled my long-cherished wish. Walking alone along the riverside road at night, looking at the Pearl River shrouded in darkness, my heart was filled with sorrow. I couldn't help but call home, but no one answered. I called her cell phone, but it was off. Dejected, I returned home from the south. Seeing her radiant smile, I wondered who she was happy for. Watching her busy figure, I wanted to tell her that I was leaving her. Every day I left home wearing the clothes she had washed and ironed; who would do these things for me again? Every day as I leave home, I wonder if I'll ever come back. If I don't, this house will belong to someone else. Where will she go? To her mother's, or to that other person's? She'll definitely go to her mother's. That person has a family; they wouldn't dare bring her home so boldly. Every month I still go to print out the call logs; they're still in frequent contact. During that time, I secretly looked at her text messages again. I really wanted to slap him. The content made me think that if he were in front of me, I would kill him. "My little darling, and my beautiful curves, let me rest my head on your adorable little white rabbits and drift off to sleep peacefully..." She replied, "You're bad, you're bad, you're so bad... I'll make you unable to get up!" And, "This morning when I woke up, the fragrance of your tongue still lingered, last night your beautiful buttocks were still in my arms, my lifeblood still felt your warm warmth, I want your moaning songs and that wonderful peak." She replied, "I'm looking forward to that next blissful moment."

My wife's affair was exposed, and I tried my best to cover for her

. I was frantically pledging my last shares, planning to have a backup plan. If she insisted on fighting me, I would give up and leave; if she didn't fight, I would buy back the shares and continue my normal life. But then, things didn't go as planned, and my plans were completely disrupted. That night, I was having dinner with friends when my nephew called me urgently, asking me to come over immediately. I met him in a rented room. There were more than ten people sitting there, with machetes and steel pipes on the table. I asked him what was wrong. "What's wrong? You're living the high life! Someone put a big fuss on you, and you're still gloating. Come with me tonight, let's chop him up. They're in a Honda in the western suburbs right now." My head spun. I said, "You must have mistaken me for someone else. It's impossible." I thought, "If I go, all my plans will be ruined. Something terrible is going to happen." "You think I'm blind? You think I'm mistaken? That guy's in construction, he owns a construction and installation company. He asked my friend to cover for him before. My friend told me personally that his girlfriend is your aunt. I didn't believe it at the time, but after watching for several days, I caught him red-handed. This isn't the first or second time. I was prepared to call you today," he yelled at me. I said, "If it's true, I'll handle it. Don't cause trouble." "What? I'm asking you to come to the scene, and you're not going? You're a coward!" "If you don't go, I'll chop you in half with one knife," he said, picking up a machete. Looking at his red eyes, I knew he was going to attack. "Fine, I'll go, but you'll have to let me change my clothes and shoes first." "Okay," he said, quickly bringing shoes and clothes. If things went wrong, given this relationship, the police would definitely suspect me first. This case was too easy to solve; I had to get rid of them.

I was thinking about how to notify her, so I said, "You guys go down first, I'll come down after I change." After they went downstairs, I immediately called my wife, but no one answered the first two times. She finally answered on the third try. I told her the child had a high fever and she needed to come home. She said she'd come right away. I said, "No, I'll go immediately; I'll go straight to the hospital." I could hear her panic and slight panting on the other end of the line. I wanted to go and chop them up, but I couldn't risk losing everything for a small matter.

I got on a minibus and headed towards the western suburbs. Halfway there, the person keeping watch called to say the bus had left. I chased after them, but they quickly entered the city. My nephew was furious, his face ashen. On the way back, he suddenly said, "Uncle, can I use your phone?" I hesitated for a moment, then handed it to him. He pressed a few buttons and told me to stop the car. After getting out, he asked why I had called her. I said I didn't want anything to happen. He immediately smashed my phone. A punch landed on my face; my head spun, and liquid started running down my cheek. He was from a sports team and had trained in Sanda (Chinese kickboxing). Punch after punch, I fell to the ground and passed out. When I woke up, I was in the hospital.

When I woke up, I felt terrible. Only my niece was there, crying beside my bed. Seeing me awake, she cried and asked if I knew who had hit me. I said I didn't know; I didn't recognize them. She wanted to call her husband and have him report it to the police, but I firmly refused. He's a policeman, and I didn't want him to know. I only let her call my wife to tell her I was in the hospital. A while later, she rushed over. Seeing me lying there, she cried and asked what happened. She said she went back to check on her child and found him fine, but then she couldn't reach me by phone. She went to nearby hospitals to look for me but couldn't find me, and then went out into the streets to look for me, worried I might have been in a car accident. She came as soon as she received the call. I didn't say anything, only that someone had called earlier saying my dad needed to take the child to the doctor, and since no one was home, they asked him to call me and tell me to come quickly. I told you to go ahead, that I'd be there soon. But I was ambushed on the way and got a beating. I didn't know who they were, and I don't know why.
That night, we didn't say anything; she and my niece stayed by my bedside to take care of me. I saw her sitting there, lost in thought, her hair disheveled and her clothes wrinkled. I felt like I'd swallowed a fly. Since we were getting a divorce anyway, I didn't want to care about her anymore.

The next day, my older sister came to take care of me, and I forbade them to tell the elders in the family. My sister's eyes were red from crying, and I thought, if something really happened, how would our family survive? I couldn't let my family suffer for me.

My wife came over in the afternoon and brought me some soup. She didn't go to work that afternoon either. I saw her phone vibrate in front of me. She didn't answer, and hung up several times, but the phone kept ringing. Finally, she turned it off. I asked her why she wasn't answering, and she said it was a wrong number. She'd told him that morning that it was a wrong number and he still called.

I didn't take her words seriously and drifted off to sleep. When I woke up, I heard her on the balcony, talking on the phone. She was asking if I had done it, and from her tone, she was arguing with someone. I knew she was arguing with that man. I realized she thought my beating was related to that person, that he had hired someone to beat me. I closed my eyes, not wanting her to know I was awake.

Later, she sat there looking at me, tears streaming down her face. When she saw me open my eyes, she asked, "Do you hate me?" I didn't answer. She cried, saying, "I know you already know. I'm sorry. Please don't treat me like this. I want to talk to you." I looked at her indifferent face. "I love you. Please don't abandon me. I beg you," she pleaded.

Before, he was just a client of hers, never a close friend. Two years ago, I left my job to start my own business. But I had limited funds. A friend invited me to partner with them, but I had no money. She embezzled company funds, telling me it was a loan. Over time, she had to make up for it. During this time, he found out about it while dating her and offered to pay her back. She was very grateful, and their relationship became more frequent. Eventually, under his advances, they entered into a romantic relationship. Originally, she planned to repay him and then never see him again. But his gentleness captivated her. He contacted her every day, making it impossible for her to bear the separation; she lived each day filled with self-reproach. "I know I was wrong, I promise it will never happen again, I will love you properly, please forgive me." What could I say? I really wanted to cry. A man doesn't easily shed tears, but they just streamed down my face. I love her, but she's deceiving me. I'd rather live a simple life than like this. I ignored her. In the following days, I was discharged from the hospital and returned home; we began living separately. I didn't want to talk to her either. Every day she would clean the house, wash my clothes, and cook for me, but I always ignored her. "I'm leaving, never to come back." I went back to my parents' house. She cried and begged me not to leave her, saying, "I love you, I love this family, don't abandon me."

Not long after, the house was sold to someone else, and she had to go back to her parents' home. During this time, I learned that the man had tried to have sex with me, but when the person he contacted heard I was his third uncle, they told him, and he was so frightened that he ran away and hid in another city. His company had no market in the area anymore, and my nephew threatened to ruin anyone who let him take on work. His wife, who had seized control of the family assets, ran off with a young man overnight. She was in charge of the finances at his company and likely knew about his affair all along. This is what one of my nephews told me later.

Regarding my beloved wife's infidelity, I reflected on my own actions…

Her family was heartbroken when they found out. Her father was so angry he was hospitalized, and her mother aged considerably. Then we got a divorce. Not long after, her mother suddenly called me, saying my wife had taken sleeping pills. I rushed over. Seeing her in such pain during her stomach pumping at the hospital was truly unbearable. In the hospital corridor, her mother suddenly knelt down before me. "Please take her home," she pleaded. "She knows she was wrong, please forgive her for our sake. Her father is lying at home." I couldn't bear it anymore, and tears streamed down my face. In the days that followed, I often visited them. Her father's health had clearly improved; he was already able to walk again. I'm terrified her family will really be ruined. She's an only child; what will her parents do if something happens to her? Now, I take my child to their house every weekend, I'm so afraid something might go wrong. She's always so careful when I'm there. I really don't know how I'll live from now on.

I didn't sleep well last night, not because I'm indecisive. You know, when I see my child with her, crawling and playing on her, that irreplaceable scene... how could I be so selfish? I don't like fighting or violence, and I won't do anything without careful consideration, and I've lost a lot because of it. My childhood friends who used to fight and play, some ended up in government jobs, some went down a path of no return. I will never take a path of no return for a moment's pleasure.

In the days since she left, I've talked to her many times. I've also reflected on what I could have done wrong.

She wasn't a bad woman. She wasn't spoiled, she was responsible at work, and she managed the household well. When we first fell in love, it was a passionate, all-consuming love. She helped me a lot. Thinking back on those times brings back those sweet memories.

After marriage, I forgot some of those memories. I neglected my love for her, even though I loved her, I rarely told her directly, always thinking those were just things I said when I was flirting. We went shopping and traveled together less after marriage; so many things were missing. It wasn't like before, when I'd miss her even if I didn't see her for a day. I offered her no help, only demanded her love.

My wife's beautiful face, slender figure, youthful energy, and the aura she'd developed over the years made her an easy target for that man. I helped her at a opportune moment, creating an opportunity for him to get close.

My wife talked to me about it; initially, she was wary of him, only wanting to maintain a friendly relationship. But he was too patient. His persistent advances, coupled with the fact that I owed him a favor, led us beyond a normal relationship. I intended to repay him and end it, but I ended up falling for him. That man is very good at making women happy. I know some things I might say might sound like I'm talking nonsense, so I'll keep quiet. I've never taken my wife to karaoke rooms or nightclubs; I've always felt those weren't places for women. Now I think it's necessary to take her singing and dancing occasionally. I haven't given her much over the years, and I've demanded too much from her. I'm thinking of waiting a while before making any decisions. In the meantime, I'll take her out more and give her more love. Before, when I had free time, I'd just hang out with friends. Everyone says wives are too troublesome, always talking about their own problems, never considering their wives' feelings.

Postscript:

Someone is right; knowing this makes it difficult to have sex with my wife. That man is very skilled; he carried her upstairs. He fed her, spoiled her rotten. He even rented an apartment specifically for their dates, and when he was in a good mood, they'd go to a fancy hotel. Just thinking about them having sex in hotels, in the suburbs, or in cars makes my heart ache. The man even boasted to a fellow card player that his girlfriend played a game called "Spin the Wheel," which suited his taste perfectly. I heard all this later when I inquired about him, but no one else could match it up.

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A man's firsthand account: The days after I discovered my wife's affair

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