I couldn't resist checking on my husband again.

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My husband, Wen, and I met through an introduction.

He was born in the Year of the Tiger and is a surgeon. I fell in love with him almost at first sight.

Being the youngest daughter in my family, I poured almost all the love I received growing up into him, plus two

miscarriages, before he finally put down his scalpel and reluctantly agreed to marry me.

Our honeymoon was dazzlingly blissful, but all the romance of our life

came to an end when we boarded the train back to Jinan. Meanwhile, endless worries and anxieties were just beginning…

Our child was born soon after. A hundred days later, naturally, some friends insisted on treating us, and I booked

the entire “Human World” coffee shop.

The large room was filled with supportive classmates and friends, creating a joyful

atmosphere .

Just as we were enjoying ourselves, my colleague Nan suddenly pinched me hard. I looked down and saw a long, beautiful

leg pressed tightly against Wen's leg under the table, gently rubbing against him!

Wen, clearly unaware, was squinting, completely absorbed in the moment, even subtly responding.

My head suddenly spun.

The girl's name was Yan. Before leaving work the next day, I quickly searched his computer for

all the information about him and this girl.

She was his female patient, and a nearly rotten appendix was the medium through which they fell in love. They even had

an abortion! That day was less than 100 hours after he rushed me to register our marriage!

I collapsed to the floor, crying like a fool without any shame.

He came back, acting as if nothing had happened. For the first time, I noticed that he secretly

turned off .

That day there was a World Cup match, and he was shouting wildly in the living room, while I tossed and turned in bed.

I deliberately walked back and forth between him and the TV, but he ignored me. I panicked and rushed over to block

the TV . He glared at me angrily and roared: What do you think you're doing?!

Wen didn't pay any attention to my unusual behavior. One late night, I was in so much pain that I

woke , saying that I dreamed he was seeing another woman. He muttered, "Neurotic."

He was about to sleep again when I blurted out, "Yan!"

He sprang from the bed reflexively, and the look on his face in that instant chilled me to the bone. Subconscious thoughts

are the easiest way to reveal everything.

When he came to his senses, he had no choice but to confess to me. He said his relationship with her was just a fleeting pleasure. He

didn't want to give up our newly established, seemingly happy marriage because of this. "

Give me three days," he said, "Give me three days, and I'll resolve it."

I listened to his words like the most virtuous woman of ancient times, only saying two words: "Go to sleep."

I admit I love him. This is the root of all my tolerance. His polite demeanor and refined manners

captivated me, but that unreliability became a lingering worry in my heart.

I was often paranoid, even absent-minded at work. When I felt extremely uncomfortable, I would confide in my friend Nan, who

summarized as, "In short, you love him too much." The problem with men is that the more you love them, the less they might

value you.

Later, something I never expected happened again!

One time I came home early and couldn't get through to the door no matter how hard I knocked. A wave of anxiety washed over me. I went to the balcony and saw the

maid hastily throwing on a coat.

Strangely, for a moment, I wasn't angry or heartbroken; my heart was as cold as ice.

Wen came out, dressed neatly, and asked with feigned surprise, "You're back?" "

Maybe our marriage should end," I heard myself say.

That time, I was truly serious. I was not only disappointed in Wen, but also doubly desperate about myself. However, when he saw my resolve

this time, the usually proud man fell silent.

In the middle of the night, I heard him tossing and turning, unable to sleep, his breathing heavy.

After a long while, he slowly reached out and stroked my hair, saying, "I've realized I still love you very much. Other

women are just physical symbols to me. Only you, I feel you're becoming more and more suitable for me. My

feelings for you are growing stronger and stronger. "

He rambled on and on until dawn. I turned back and gave him a pale smile, saying, "Please

say it again , I don't understand."

Three days later, we finally left the civil trial hall. Wen suggested we go for a walk at Daming Lake nearby. He said, "

The judgment won't be issued for another three days, how about we don't get a divorce?" I said, "No."

Not long after, I received an urgent call from Wen; our son had been hospitalized with acute myocarditis.

I wept silently as my son was being treated. When he called my name in his delirium, the idea of self-sacrifice rekindled in my

mind.

I fully believed that my son's illness was entirely my fault. I swore to God at my son's bedside that if

he recovered, I would remarry him and forgive Wen for everything.

After remarrying, I tried, and he seemed to try too. But we could never go back to that

feeling of mutual dependence.

When he came home, we ate and watched TV together. We rarely spoke.

I felt more at ease alone at home, but a vague, inexplicable depression lingered within me. After my son turned seven

, I sent him back to my parents' home in Shanxi for a while. When he returned, for some reason, my

bad intuition started acting up again.

His old expressions and habitual little actions reappeared. For example, his laptop had

a very complex password, and he never opened it until I went to bed.

When his phone rang, he always habitually checked the number first. His phone messages, even weather forecasts

—were completely cleared every day.

I didn't want to overthink things anymore. After several ups and downs, I really wanted to take a break and have everything

normal . But once again, I couldn't resist testing him.

I said my phone was dead and I wanted to borrow his for work. He immediately shook his head nervously and said

no.

After a while, perhaps realizing he'd made a mistake, he added, "Okay then." I coldly said, "

Thank you, but no thanks."

One day, I called him from my friend Lin's house. I said I was staying at her place. He said okay,

he was going to sleep anyway. Lin laughed at me, saying I was becoming a neurotic woman.

But at midnight, I suddenly decided to go home and check on things.

He wasn't home, so I tried calling his cell phone from the home phone, but the line was constantly busy. Frustrated, I paced between the bedroom and

living room . Finally, I dialed the home phone number on my own cell phone.

Strangely, the call connected after two rings. I was startled;

his voice came through the line: "Why aren't you asleep yet?"

I asked. "Where are you?" he replied. "

I'm home." "Didn't you call home now?"

I suppressed my anger. He had forwarded the home call to his cell phone to lie to me!

Ugh, my philandering husband, who can't change his nature!

I was speechless with grief, sitting blankly on the floor until Wen, drunk,

opened the door, laughing and joking, with a young woman who looked like a student in his arms.

When he saw me, he froze.

The girl screamed in fright and ran away immediately.

That night, Wen cried for a full hour.

He repeatedly apologized, saying he was sorry, but the child was still young, and we had just remarried. He said he would do it for the child's sake

…

I know he loves his son; otherwise, with his circumstances, he wouldn't be worried about not having a plethora of women

pursuing him .

On the contrary, perhaps divorced women my age should be more frightened. But my heart is numb,

and I'm remarkably calm.

Having witnessed so many of his affairs, I understand that I've given him chances to repent time and time again.

Agreeing to is tantamount to tacit approval; he can do it again and again.

But if I disagree, my marriage will break down. What will happen to the children? How will I live?

I told him, "Give me one night, and I'll give you an answer tomorrow morning."

How should I answer him?

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