[Modern Emotions] The Human Heart

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-23

I said, is it wrong to be inherently wicked?

Nothing in the world pleases me more than doing bad things. The only time I fell victim was a hundred years ago, when some ugly witch smeared incense ash on my face, causing me to revert to my fox form. I had to hide for a long time before I could barely transform back into a human.

But living in this civilized era is truly a blessing. There are so many ways to transmit information now, yet people's hearts are so fickle, easily swayed by whichever wind blows.

I sit in my private secretary's office, idly browsing online shopping. My job is simply to chat with the boss to pass the time, occasionally making a glamorous appearance. Even fox spirits have their hard-working moments. The boss's wife?

Please, that old woman is not only past her prime but has also lost all her charm. Can she even be presentable?

A knock sounds at the door: "Come in."

It's Fala, the company's accountant.

"Nana, these documents need the boss's signature." Fala handed me the documents with her short, chubby hands. I accepted them with a sweet smile. Good heavens, what a disaster she was wearing today! The obviously too-small black suit jacket was bunching up her flabby arms, and underneath she was wearing a bright blue turtleneck sweater that was pilling. And her belly fat was practically bulging out of her chest! The table was about to be overturned!

"Fala, you look so good today. The color of this sweater is so eye-catching." I stood up, took the documents, walked to her side, and affectionately complimented her while holding her arm.

Her dark, pockmarked face flushed a deep red: "Thank you, I like this color too." "Huh? You didn't tie your hair in a ponytail today! And you got bangs, no wonder you look so different today, you look great." She touched her bangs shyly: "I'm not used to it either, will it look weird?" I patted her shoulder lightly: "It won't look weird, the new hairstyle suits you, be more confident! But... suddenly wanting to change, could it be that you're in love?" She gave a shy smile: "No, not at all."

From then on, I became close to Fala. It's quite easy to be good friends with someone like that. She lacks confidence and isn't good-looking, but after a few words of coaxing, she opens up to me as her confidante, telling me everything, big or small.

Of course, this also includes Jim from the company next door, a friendly and ordinary man.

According to Fala and my private conversations, Jim has been inviting Fala out for lunch recently, and the two seem to have a crush on each other.

Oh, what a touching love story. I listened, chuckling to myself. It wasn't her looks that attracted me, but rather her kind and gentle heart. This fun opportunity had fallen into my lap; it would be a waste not to participate.

I suggested to Fala that we arrange a weekend getaway for dinner and shopping, so I could help her assess her potential boyfriend and perhaps even subtly spark their relationship. She happily agreed, completely oblivious, treating me like a true confidante.

That day, I put in extra effort: light, elegant makeup paired with a white dress and a sweet, fresh floral fragrance. Compared to her, the short, stout, and tasteless Fala looked like a mere servant.

Fala smiled shyly, revealing her yellowed teeth, and introduced me: "Jim, this is Nana, my best friend." Jim politely shook my hand in greeting: "Hello, Fala often mentions you, saying you're not only beautiful but also kind-hearted." I lowered my eyes and smiled sweetly: "Fala speaks too highly of me; I envy her for meeting such a good man like you. I'm usually in the secretary's office, so I don't have many opportunities to meet people." While shopping, I deliberately twisted my ankle, and Fala anxiously asked, "This won't do; what if you twist it badly?" "It's okay, I'll take a taxi home. It's rare for you two to go on a date, and I feel bad being a third wheel; I can't spoil your fun." I tried to stand up, taking Jim's hand, but twisted again.

"Why don't you take her home, Jim? I'll take the subway; I'm worried about her being alone," Fala suggested to Jim.

"Fala..." I wanted to say more but was interrupted by Fala,

"It's okay, you're my best friend." Fala grinned, revealing a sincere smile, accompanied by a set of yellow teeth.

Jim took me home, carefully supporting me the whole way. "Jim, you're so kind. I'm so envious of Fala's luck, to have met such a loving and considerate man like you." Jim blushed. "You flatter me too much." Jim helped me back to my apartment and settled me on the sofa. "Thank you so much for preventing you two from going on your date. Otherwise, I would have made you coffee as an apology." "But what about your leg?" Jim looked at me hesitantly.

"I can manage. If you're willing to help me, there's a high chair in the kitchen I can sit on." I gave him a bright, irresistible smile.

After that day, Jim and I became more familiar. His lunch gatherings with Fala gradually decreased, but he appeared at my apartment more and more often. Of course, Fala was completely unaware, genuinely believing that Jim was just busy with work.

Jim pressed down on me, kissing my fair and delicate neck, his slightly rough hands gently caressing my soft waist, his lower body thrusting closer and closer.

My legs wrapped around his back, the contractions and releases of my lower body stimulating his sensitive nerves.

He helped me up, placing me on his lap, my arms around his shoulders, twisting my waist as I thrust in and out. The tightness inside me made him groan softly. One hand moved to my firm, round breasts, kneading them forcefully, the pale red marks making my skin appear even whiter. His lips pressed against my chest, leaving a rough, savage mark.

I gently bit my earlobe, letting out seductive moans in his ear, telling him how much I loved his deep penetration and forceful thrusting. Jim, aroused by the sounds of his wanton words filling the room, worked even harder. "Harder, harder!" I cried, arching my back, until Jim's fluids gushed into my body.

"Your skin feels so soft," Jim said, lying beside me, his hand sliding up and down my bare back.

I turned closer to his chest, tilted my head back, and looked at him coquettishly with a pout: "Your touching makes me so itchy." He hugged me tightly: "Knowing you is the luckiest thing that ever happened to me." I felt lucky too. It's true that it's better to catch young people; that old man at the company doesn't catch much and just takes up a lot of my energy.

Some people say that appearance is just superficial, and there are so many things in life that we should strive to learn. External appearance is just a drop in the ocean and not worth mentioning. Humph, that's just ugly people comforting themselves with nonsense. I've lived for so long, and I've never seen a man who doesn't love beauty.

I sat in my office leisurely touching up my makeup. Modern cosmetics are so much better than before. The coffee was on the right side of the keyboard. Another cheerful and wonderful day. Fala, that ugly woman, stormed into my office with a look of indignation. She yelled that I was stealing a man behind her back. Humans are such strange creatures; they don't even take care of their own things and then blame others for taking them.

I casually said to her, "Who told you to be so ugly? Even breathing is a sin. You'd better open those beady eyelids a bit and not offend people. Do you think I'm someone you can just point at and yell at? Besides, has he ever admitted to being your boyfriend? Could it be that you've been shamelessly offering yourself up only to be rejected, and now you're coming here to complain?" I stood in front of her, tapping her nose with my finger. "Blame your parents for not giving you a better-looking face." I left Fala, who was still standing there dumbfounded, and happily left the office. Nothing in the world is more delightful than malice.

A few days later, Fala didn't come to work. A few days after that, a commotion broke out in the company: Fala had hanged herself. Rumors circulated that she had hooked up with a blond, blue-eyed guy, been swindled out of all her savings, and, unable to bear the blow of losing both her money and her virtue, committed suicide.

"But I saw she was really close to Jim from the company next door before?" Ann from the company asked me curiously. I shook my head and wiped away the tears from the corners of my eyes: "I felt sorry for her because she was all alone and unrequited, so I kept it a secret for her. Don't tell anyone. Jim didn't like her at all. She was the one who kept stalking and harassing her. Jim was going to call the police, but I stopped him." Soon, no one felt any regret for Fala's death.

I returned to my den reeking of alcohol. The lights in the room flickered on and off. My goodness, a vengeful ghost, is it? A pale white figure with a touch of red stood under the flickering lights.

I couldn't help but laugh: "Too bad you became a ghost, and a fat one at that!" Fala, dressed in red and hanged herself, charged at me. She really overestimated herself. She just died and already wanted to fight a vixen. What made her think she could? With a casual wave, she didn't even leave a fragment.

The lights in the room returned to normal. I turned on my computer, sat down, and opened a job search website. Time to change jobs and find a new target to play around with.

I nestled on the sofa and turned on the TV; some sounds are always nice.

I didn't want to be alone.

Three months ago, I was a highly renowned stylist, admired by everyone. A successful career, a handsome and dashing husband, a beautiful and sweet marriage. What woman wouldn't envy that?

That chilly evening, I was driving home after finishing an interview, everything was so perfect. Although I was tired, I had a smile on my face. Who could be happier than me? Especially since today was our seventh wedding anniversary. Last year's gift was a pair of T brand diamond earrings. The day after receiving them, I deliberately put my hair up in a bun, revealing my earlobes. Everyone who saw them looked at me with a mixture of envy and jealousy. A slight smile crept onto my face. Yes, I deserved to be envied.

A female celebrity who had married a wealthy man saw me backstage and walked over: "Lanlan, your earrings are so pretty! I bought a similar pair last month, the ones I'm wearing, but they're more expensive than yours." I turned and smiled at her, looking at her ears. She laughed heartily: "But mine have special meaning, they're different. My husband gave them to me yesterday for our wedding anniversary." I rolled my eyes, pretending to think: "But Wenwan, I remember seeing the exact same pair on Li Zhen the day before yesterday when I was doing her hair and makeup." I deliberately kept my voice neither too loud nor too soft, and a bunch of people were listening intently. Wenwan's

expression changed, and she forced a stiff, unnatural smile: "Oh, what a coincidence! Haha… I have another gig, Lanlan, I'm off now." She fled in a panic. Hmph.

Everyone knows that her wealthy husband has been hooking up with Li Zhen for a long time, and Li Zhen's earrings were a token of their love from her husband. So, when she got jealous, she spent her own money to buy the exact same thing, and then dared to bring it out in

public, making a fool of herself? Hehe. I drove the car into the garage, tidying myself up in front of the car window. What kind of surprise would this year bring?

Stepping into the house, the candlelight flickered dimly, and a CD sat on the living room table. With a few light steps, I stepped forward and put the CD into the player. It must be my husband's heartfelt confession, right?

I pressed the start button.

The silent screen showed a pure white room, with nothing in the center except for a white double bed.

A man and a woman entered from the bottom of the screen. The woman's back was to the camera, her slender waist exposed, being embraced by the man, and they were passionately kissing.

The man couldn't wait to take off the woman's clothes, his hands caressing her wantonly. He quickly pushed the woman onto the bed, her black panties still hanging on her ankles.

The woman's slender legs were hooked around the man's back, while his hips thrust forward violently. Though it was quiet, I could imagine the man's deep growls in the scene.

A lewd and naked scene of intercourse unfolded before my eyes, and my hand gripping the remote trembled uncontrollably.

The woman skillfully concealed her face, but the man's face was clearly visible.

Sounds came from the spiral staircase. I turned to see a woman with a beauty mark under her eye descending, arm in arm with my husband. Her long, smiling eyes said, "Happy 7th Wedding Anniversary!" She walked up to me, her delicate features carrying a playful expression. "Is it nice? I prepared it especially for you." I turned to look at my husband, but he looked away.

Her hand rested on my shoulder: "Stop looking. Don't you know a man changes his mind? What do you expect him to do for you? Besides... he's in this video too!" My husband finally spoke, but he called out to the woman: "Feifei!" Weakly... The woman didn't turn around, just waved her hand casually: "It's okay." She handed me a piece of paper: "Sign it, at least it's still yours." I gritted my teeth and glared at her: "I can sue you!"

The woman hooked her arm around mine and laughed so hard she couldn't stand up straight: "I said, what are you going to use to sue me?" The man behind me still didn't say a word... I still signed the paper, and the woman didn't take a penny more than what was agreed upon. She said she was only interested in collecting all sorts of stories. I didn't understand what she meant, nor did I want to.

I leisurely painted my nails, and there was a little monster spying outside the window. I bared my teeth and growled, and it jumped away in fright, hehe.

Lately, I've been so bored I'm practically lethargic, except for the time I hooked up with someone's husband, which was slightly more interesting.

I guess I did a good deed? It's a blessing to see through a man who's so easily seduced and willing to abandon his wife.

Even foxes have a kind heart!

After all, it's always people's hearts that change, not me.

On TV, another celebrity couple is being interviewed, talking about how happy they are. A smile crept onto my lips; I won't be bored for a while.

As usual, I left the tutoring center my husband and I founded first and went home. In recent years, our reputation has grown, and enrollment has become more stable, finally allowing me to relax a bit and not be busy day and night at the tutoring center.

Returning to our new home, which we bought and renovated at the beginning of the year, I smiled with satisfaction. Every little detail, no matter how small, was meticulously discussed and overseen by the designer and myself. Visiting relatives and friends all praised it highly, and even my husband felt proud, hugging me affectionately and saying he was truly blessed to have such a supportive wife.

After changing out of my suit, I put on some simple loungewear and went to the kitchen. We'd gotten tired of eating out these past few years, and my husband wanted to enjoy family life more while his tutoring classes were going smoothly, and to savor my cooking. I was more than happy to oblige, since I've always loved cooking, just never had the time before.

I laid out napkins on the teak dining table and set the food on the table. My husband came home too: "Perfect timing, I just finished cooking. Change your clothes and come eat!" I said, taking off my apron and hanging it on the hook on the kitchen wall.

My husband looked at the dishes on the table with satisfaction, his chopsticks moving non-stop. "Business has been getting better and better lately. We need a few more new people to keep up with the demand." "I've already trained them for you. Last month, I helped you recruit a few administrative assistants. There's a girl named Feifei who's quite clever." "Really?"

I reached out and brushed the rice grains from the corner of my husband's mouth. This man, almost forty, is still like a big boy in private. "Mr. Lin, you really have a bad memory. I introduced her to you when you came. She's the one with the little beauty mark under her eye, long eyes, and long black hair." My husband put down his chopsticks with a satisfied expression. "I don't remember that at all." "Tell me more about it tomorrow, otherwise you're too busy with enrollment lately to handle my teaching staff. I'm already in a complete mess on my own." "Okay, okay, now it's all my fault." I pouted and complained. My husband got up, walked behind the chair, and hugged me. "How could I complain about my dear wife? Without you, how could I be a boss?" He kissed my cheek. I pulled his arm and turned around, laughing and scolding, "You're so old and still so fond of taking advantage of me, so indecent." Although I'm thirty-five, I think I maintain a figure that's no less than that of a twenty-year-old girl. I'm very strict with my daily diet and exercise.

My husband's hands slipped inside my thin white t-shirt, resting on my waist. I deliberately rubbed my slender legs against him. "So eager?" he asked. A mischievous grin spread across his face. "Who could resist such a sexy wife?" he said, lifting my t-shirt to reveal my bare upper body. "So fair and tender, I just want to take a bite." Even after years of marriage, such explicit words still made my cheeks flush. I half-closed my eyes and scolded him in a soft voice, "You're not young anymore, yet you're still acting like a lecher!" This time, he didn't reply, focusing intently on exploring my fair body, making me breathe heavily. He picked me up and carried me to the bedroom. I buried my face in the crook of his neck, my warm tongue circling his skin.

Even after years of marriage, and knowing each other's bodies intimately, desire still burned intensely when we were naked together. He lightly rubbed my lower body with his fingertips, feeling the wetness of our love juices mingling with his fingertips, a slippery sensation.

We swayed and intertwined on the beige sheets with pink floral patterns. The force of our thrusts, my eyes closed, carried me to a semi-conscious state, my hands limply clinging to my husband's shoulders.

The next day, I transferred Feifei to my husband's side as his personal secretary. After all, there were too many things to manage at the tutoring center, and it was currently peak enrollment season; I was overwhelmed myself. I needed someone quick-witted to help him with the miscellaneous tasks.

When Feifei came for her interview, I felt an immediate connection. Around twenty years old, her long, curved eyes always seemed to smile, and the beauty mark under her eye made her appear even more shy. She spoke with a refined and elegant manner, like a lady from a wealthy family. However, she learned quickly and grasped things almost instantly.

She was also kind and tactful, which won me over. I transferred her to my husband's side partly because she was intelligent and quick-witted, and partly because she wasn't a seductive woman. What woman wouldn't be more attentive to her successful husband?

She quickly managed her husband's work affairs perfectly, which relieved me of a lot of worry. Seeing her alone in the north, I sometimes took her home for meals. After all, meals for two people are always a bit monotonous, and it's nice to have someone else to eat with. Feifei quickly became close to my husband and me, and sometimes we would take her on trips on holidays, like having a little sister.

After more than a month, the busy recruitment season came to an end, and my period, which was usually on time, was two weeks late.

A check-up at the OB-GYN revealed that I was pregnant. This was a big deal for my husband and me, as we were both nearing forty and hadn't originally planned to have children, but we were starting to hope for the arrival of a new life.

I suppressed my overwhelming joy and went home to tell my husband the good news. Upon hearing the news, my husband seemed to be in a daze for a few minutes before hugging me tightly and shouting loudly. Then, he nervously held my shoulders and asked if I was too excited and might hurt the baby in my belly.

Being an older mother is indeed tough. I experienced all the exhaustion, nausea, and swelling I was used to. To ensure a safe pregnancy, I even minimized my visits to the tutoring center, leaving everything to Feifei. After ten months of pregnancy, I finally gave birth. My husband and I took a family photo, and we looked so happy in it. Successful in our careers and blessed with a son—what more could I ask for?

That evening, my husband called to say he was busy at the tutoring center and wouldn't be home until later. Having not been to the tutoring center in a while, I thought it would be good to take the child there. I put the child in his high chair and drove off.

I pressed the elevator button and arrived at my husband's office on the top floor, but Feifei wasn't there in the secretary's seat. I checked the time; it was almost 10 PM, so she had probably already left.

I reached out to push open my husband's office door, but then I heard a sound that shouldn't be there.

It was a woman's moaning.

My outstretched hand froze in mid-air, my face turning as cold as ice. I slowly pushed open the door. Feifei's slender, pale body lay slumped on the desk, my naked husband on top of her. I gritted my teeth and slowly uttered each word: "Is this your excuse for being too busy?" The coldness in my voice made my hands, holding the child, tremble uncontrollably. My husband, who was lost in the pleasure of female intercourse, looked at me in shock, kneeling beside me without even putting on his clothes, begging for my forgiveness.

I glared at Feifei, who was slowly putting on her clothes: "I treated you like a sister, and this is how you repay me?" Her originally shy face seemed to have changed completely, her eyes filled with a gentle, alluring light: "Did I ever ask you to be good to me?" Her tone was full of innocence. She picked up her coat and strode outside: "Besides, it was your husband who provoked me. Don't blame others for not controlling your own husband." I collapsed to the ground. My husband hugged me and the child tightly, begging for forgiveness. He said he had to be patient because of my pregnancy, but his body was very weak after giving birth, and he was afraid I would be too tired, so he refrained from having sex with me. That's why he acted

impulsively and promised never to do it again. I looked at my repentant husband: "You really won't betray me again?" "I swear." Later, Feifei voluntarily resigned from her job, and my husband and I returned to our daily lives. He just stopped going to the tutoring class and spent more time at home with me and the child. We hired a professional manager to handle the tutoring class.

Our marriage had cracks, but I loved him and trusted him. My world couldn't exist without my husband. We would slowly mend these cracks, no matter how long it took.

Is that all?

I, the vixen, haven't even officially made my appearance yet, how can it end so easily? Hehe, in the end, that tutoring class owner was really despicable. His wife was pregnant, so he took over the role of the little head instead of the big head. Whose fault is that?

The landlady was actually a good person this time, but who told her to be so stupid? She left all her husband's affairs to another woman; wasn't it expected she'd cheat?

I was planning to quit the night she was discovered, but out of sheer boredom, I sent a shikigami to their house for a visit, and discovered something incredibly amusing.

The husband's slightly dried-out corpse was placed on the dining chair, and next to him was a baby table. The wife, looking blissfully happy, was feeding the baby while chatting softly with her deceased husband. A family enjoying dinner together—how interesting!

I recalled my shikigami, clicking my tongue in amazement. Humans are truly fascinating; sometimes they even deceive themselves, burying their wounds deep in their hearts, thinking that if they can't see them, they don't exist.

Human hearts, oh human hearts…hehe…

I reclined on the bed, looking out the window. The clear night sky was dotted with a few twinkling stars, and I heard a faint meow outside. I opened the window, and a cream-colored tabby cat darted in and settled on the windowsill. Its round eyes blinked as I gently stroked the back of its neck, and it meowed contentedly, its eyes half-closed.

It seemed to be a little cat demon who had cultivated for several years. Usually, I would chase away these kinds of little demons to keep them out of sight, but perhaps out of sheer boredom, I unusually let it into the house.

A hundred years ago, I too once quietly perched on a carved wooden windowsill.

It belonged to the third young lady of a wealthy family, whose eyes always curved into a gentle smile, her lips curving upwards. That year she was ten years old, and I was given a name by repeating a character from her given name, which I always carried with me, even while eating and sleeping.

I loved early spring, leaning against the window with the young lady, watching the garden blossoms. She would hold me in her arms, her cheek pressed against my fur, and tell me about the big and small things happening in the family.

Sometimes I was very happy, when my writing was praised by my wife, or when my husband returned from a long business trip, bringing back some rare and precious things to reward the children.

Sometimes it's very upsetting, like when the second aunt tripped the young lady during a meal, breaking a bowl and causing the young lady to be scolded by the master. Or when the second young lady tore up the young lady's exercise paper while the teacher wasn't looking.

Hearing these things always makes me very angry.

(Word count: 15036

) [The End]

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