Xiaoqian's Self-Transformation Diary (7~9)

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Chapter Seven: High School Life Begins Because I spent so much time on these things every day, my grades fell slightly behind. Fortunately, my brain was still sharp, and I listened attentively in class and worked incredibly hard, so my grades were still among the top in the class. My

high school entrance exam results were pretty good; I got into a top-tier high school in the city. But only I knew why I worked so hard to get into this high school—because it required boarding! If I could board, my family, given their financial situation, would definitely arrange a rental near the school so I could begin the second phase of training.

As expected, my parents happily rented an entire room near the school. It took my parents and me three days to choose this room. They probably thought I was just being picky, but they didn't know I was judging based on whether there were security cameras in the neighborhood and whether the room could be seen.

This little room, which would be my own, would be the main venue for the second phase of training.

Phase Two: The Beginning of Sadomasochistic Training Overall Goals: 1. Adapt to small anal plugs.

2. Adapt to enemas, rope bondage, and nipple clamps.

3. Perform oral sex training and eliminate the urge to vomit.

4. Perform anal sex training, dilating the anus to 5cm.

5. Adapt to an electric shock of 1mA that produces sexual pleasure, and 5mA that produces pain.

6. Adapt to touching feces.

7. Suction urine through the nasal cavity.

Amidst the anxious waiting each day, high school started. The start of the school year is always busy; getting to know new classmates and adapting to a new environment meant the training plan made no progress and remained unchanged.

A month into the school year, things stabilized, and my personal space was ready for normal living.

Today, I'll begin the second phase of training.

The first thing to solve is the equipment issue. There's quite a lot to buy: five anal plugs ranging from 1cm to 5cm, two sets of dildos (one for oral sex and one for anal sex, with diameters of 3cm, 4cm, and 5cm), an enema kit, ropes, nipple clamps, a vibrator, lubricant, and an electric shock device that can simultaneously stimulate the breasts, clitoris, and anus, with a maximum current of 5mA. As a freshman in high school, I had absolutely no idea what 5mA meant.

I didn't have the guts to go directly to an adult store, and even if I did, the owner wouldn't sell to me.

Luckily, I'd already learned how to shop online. I spent two or three days selecting items, adding more and more to my cart. The total came to about 800 yuan. I calculated the delivery date and had it delivered directly to my home. Thankfully, nothing went wrong, and I received all the devices on Saturday – a heavy box.

Unpacking the box and laying the devices out on the table was quite a sight. I counted them: six travel-wearable anal plugs with crescent-shaped tails, two of each size (1cm, 2cm, 3cm);

five hollow anal plugs, all 1.5cm in diameter; two vibrating eggs that could be inserted with the anal plugs; and one power-operated vibrating egg.

There were also two sets of 3.5cm dildos – one pink for oral sex practice and one purple for anal sex practice.

One enema kit, one rope, three pairs of nipple clamps (ranging from light to heavy), one high-frequency vibrator, two large bottles of simulated semen lubricant (1 liter each), and two sets of electroshock devices.

Looking at all these devices, I blushed a little. I'm still a virgin, a 15-year-old high school student, and I'm about to be gradually "developed" by these devices.

First, I tried the anal plug. My stools are usually over two centimeters in diameter, so inserting a 1cm diameter anal plug was no problem. I coated the plug with lubricant and gently rubbed it against my anus. A tingling sensation came from my anus. I gently pushed it in, and with the help of the lubricant, it went in effortlessly, feeling like stool was stuck in my anus. I tightened my anus, and the plug stayed firmly in place. A feeling of fullness spread throughout my anus. I turned on the vibrator, and the strong vibration almost made it slip out of my hand. I gently inserted it into the hole in the middle of the plug, and an unusually strong tingling sensation flooded my brain.

I walked around the room naked, getting used to daily life with an anal plug. The stimulation made me want to masturbate to orgasm, but I was only allowed one orgasm per month during training, and in the second phase of the training plan, I could only orgasm during a 5mA electric shock.

Suppressing the itching in my anus, I rubbed my clitoris while starting the second phase of daily training: fifteen minutes of oral sex, fifteen minutes of anal sex,

one nasal inhalation of urine

, and three enemas, each lasting ten minutes.

I held a 3cm diameter dildo in my mouth; the dildo was incredibly realistic, and I could feel the blood vessels on my tongue. I carefully followed the oral sex training tutorials I found online. The most difficult part was deep throat training; the stimulation to my uvula always made me want to gag. I thought that was the point of the training; once I finished the second phase, I was sure I would never gag again.

The enemas and anal sex were relatively easy, but they made me constantly wet, and I couldn't orgasm, which was extremely uncomfortable.

The most difficult training was nasal urine suction; one wrong move and I'd choke. It took half a month of training to get a little better.

At night, I'd be tightly bound with ropes, nipple clamps on my nipples, and anal plugs inserted while listening to pornographic videos.

The first night, I tossed and turned until 4 AM before finally falling asleep, and the next day I was listless all day. I

gradually adapted, and every morning I'd have to rub my numb limbs and sore nipples from being bound all night.

My nipples haven't developed like in the movies; they're still very pink and small, and I need to touch them until they're engorged before I can put on the clamps.

Now I cook for myself. I eat lunch in the cafeteria, and cook breakfast and dinner myself. To consolidate the results of the first phase of training, besides urinating normally in the morning, I drink the urine at school and collect the urine at home. I use urine instead of water for cooking, and the urine I collect in a day is enough to make enough food for two people, one for breakfast and one for dinner.

Because I've already associated urine with pleasure, every meal feels like masturbation.

When I was at school, I carried an anal plug with me. All day long, my anus felt like it was constantly in the act of defecating. This feeling persisted whether I was talking to classmates, explaining problems on the blackboard, or being confessed to by boys.

Yes, many boys confessed to me privately. I would usually blush when they heard them. People assumed I was blushing because of the confessions, but only I knew the truly perverse body beneath my clothes: no underwear, drinking urine, anal dilation, self-harm. As a virgin, I had honed incredibly skilled oral and anal sex techniques. Every week, strangers would rub my breasts, and every month I would watch a lot of hardcore porn to brainwash myself.

Just thinking about all this made my genitals itch and secrete a honey-like fluid.

I knew I wasn't worthy of anyone's confession, and my first relationship wouldn't begin until the tenth training session—I was far from that point.

Chapter Eight: Climax in Pain Every Saturday and Sunday, I had to follow the weekly plan: one hour of 1mA electric shocks.

I would also be exposed outdoors once.

I started exposing myself on the subway, but the frequency changed from once a month to once a week. After about two months, I gradually got used to it and lost the initial excitement. It felt as commonplace as someone seeing my arm. Later, for a more stimulating experience, I switched to exposing myself on the back of a bus, wearing a dress with a large side slit. I would climb onto the seat and pretend to sleep, so the person sitting next to me could easily see my underdeveloped breasts and nipples.

I wore a short skirt and deliberately tucked the back of it behind my back, exposing half of my buttocks, clearly without underwear.

I have to say, this method is really effective. It's very arousing to be seen, and almost every week one or two bolder men come and touch my breasts and genitals directly. Because I don't want anyone to know I'm wearing an anal plug, and I don't want to be deflowered, I keep my genitals tightly clenched. But I can touch my breasts freely, since there are few people on the bus on weekends, so I'm not afraid of being discovered. Many people touch me for more than half an hour before stopping.

Electric shocks are a challenge for me. A 1mA current is okay; it brings pleasure. The key is that it lasts for an hour, and I can't orgasm during that time. That's too difficult. At first, I always couldn't help but orgasm directly, and the training always failed. Later, I thought of a solution: every time I'm about to orgasm, I hit my genitals hard. This way, the pain replaces the pleasure and stops the orgasm directly.

On the last weekend of each month, I will carry out the second phase of the monthly plan.

Monthly goal: to undergo a 24-hour continuous AV brainwashing session, followed by a 5mA electric shock until orgasm.

On the last weekend, I would prepare enough food beforehand, tie my hands behind my back, put on earplugs, turn the volume up, and start watching porn for 24 hours straight, beginning at 10 PM on Friday night. This is an inhuman torture that most people couldn't endure—watching porn for 24 hours without being able to masturbate. But after two years of training, I could already tolerate this. What I found unbearable was that by around 6 AM the next morning, I was incredibly sleepy but couldn't sleep. At this point, I would feel nauseous and unable to concentrate. By around noon, I was basically unable to eat anything. My brain felt like it had been hit by a sledgehammer; I started hallucinating and couldn't even distinguish whether I was watching porn or had become a character in it. Even without masturbating, I would involuntarily want to orgasm, and I had to concentrate to forcefully strike my genitals to stop the orgasm.

By 10 PM, when the 24 hours were over, I was completely sustained only by sheer willpower.

I took off my headphones, but the sounds from the AV still echoed clearly in my ears, and the images from the AV remained in my mind. Just one last step. I attached the stun gun to my nipples and clitoris, inserted the anal plug, adjusted the current to the universally acknowledged pain level of 5mA, and pressed the activation button forcefully. The powerful current nearly knocked me unconscious on the ground, leaving me lying stiffly like an arched bridge. This was my only chance for an orgasm this month, so of course I wouldn't just pass out. Instead, I rubbed my clitoris amidst the excruciating pain, trying to induce pleasure, but the pleasure was too weak. Only an orgasm could stop it, but the painful electric shock prevented me from experiencing any pleasure.

Time ticked by, my consciousness growing increasingly blurred. At this moment, the AVs I had watched seemed to replay in my mind. I felt like I had become every character in the AVs, being manipulated in various ways. My body endured the pain, but my mind endured the pleasure.

Finally, amidst the physical pain and mental pleasure brought by the electric shock, I reached orgasm.

Using my last bit of strength, I turned off the switch, lay down on the bed, and slept until noon the next day.

Calling it sleeping wasn't entirely accurate, because the scenes from the AV kept replaying in my mind, like a lucid dream.

The training effects were very obvious. After several months of training, I could automatically play AVs in my mind at any time, and the orgasms from the electric shocks became faster and faster. Later, I could even experience pleasure amidst pain. I felt like I couldn't distinguish between pain and pleasure anymore. Sometimes, even a slight tap on my genitals would give me pleasure, and I could only stop the orgasm by hitting my genitals hard with a bamboo ruler.

Chapter Nine: Completion of Phase Two After a year of hard work, I had fully adapted to Phase Two training. My anus could dilate to 5cm. During the day, I wore a 3cm anal plug, and at night, a 5cm one.

Because I wore the anal plug every day for a year, my anus couldn't close completely without clenching tightly; my pink anus was wide open like a giant beast, and you could see inside.

But with forceful contraction, I could clamp a chopstick without it falling out—a result of long-term anal sex training.

My mouth can fully accommodate a 5cm diameter, 18cm long dildo for deep throating, and I've lost the urge to vomit. The dildo can be easily inserted into my throat. I 'm

used to 500ml enemas; through daily enemas and anal sex, I can go out all day with a swollen lower abdomen after an enema.

My nipples are numb from the pain from sleeping with nipple clamps.

I can continuously inhale urine through my nose without choking.

I no longer feel pleasure from 1mA electric shocks, and can even maintain them while sleeping; only the 5mA shocks after monthly video brainwashing give me pleasure.

Many people on the bus I take each month already know my regular route, and more than ten people touch my breasts every week. I've collected the phone numbers of hundreds of strange men for future reference, but thankfully, I've done a good job of keeping it a secret, and no one has found my address yet.

At school, no one knows about my perverted behavior. To them, I'm just a pretty girl who blushes easily and is shy; boys often discuss whether I could be the school beauty.

There's a handsome guy in my class named Guan Yue. Every time I see him, my face turns red and my heart races. I think I've fallen for him, but unfortunately, I can't date anyone right now.

His image appears in my mind every time I masturbate.

Last week at noon, he actually called me aside and confessed his feelings. I really wanted to say yes and accept him, but I can't. The manual I've read a thousand times has decided that my first relationship can only begin after completing the tenth training session. Just so you know, the tenth training session is called "Social Personality Destruction," and I need to perform oral sex and swallow semen from all the men I know during the relationship, except for my boyfriend.

Right now, I'm not qualified to date; I can only imagine a life with love in my mind. That's not the path I want to take.

Next step: the third training session.

Third session: Begin body modification. Overall goals: 1. Adapt to pain, connect with sexual pleasure, adapt to wax dripping.

2. Control vomiting, eliminate discomfort with vomit, be able to eat vomit.

3. Adapt to 5mA electric shocks that cause pain, adapt to 6mA electric shocks that cause incontinence.

4. Adapt to extreme enemas.

5. Dilate the anus to 10cm. 6. Adapt to smearing feces on the body.

After three years of training, I can finally begin some real body modifications. Although the previous modifications were already beyond what most people could imagine, they were all reversible. If I wanted to stop, it would have almost no impact on my future. I could take these secrets to my grave and live a normal life. But from the third stage onwards, almost every step is irreversible. If I give up, these marks will accompany me for life.

After the third stage, my anus will dilate to 10cm. The information I found online indicates that once it reaches this extent, it is difficult to return to normal. Even if I train every day, I can only ensure that it is tightly closed when contracting. When I relax, a large hole will definitely be exposed. After that, I will have to wear an anal plug.

After connecting pain with sexual pleasure, my body will initially become an SM sex toy. Of course, to reach my ideal state, many more stages of training are needed. This is just the beginning.

Daily goals: Eating: Vomit after eating and then eat again.

Normal urination for the first time in the morning and at 6 pm. All other urinations are done through the nasal cavity.

Sleeping: Wearing a 5cm diameter anal plug with a 1mA current.

Wearing nipple clamps with lead weights attached to the nipples.

Wearing a 10cm penis-shaped gag in the mouth.

Suspended in mid-air.

Playing AV audio on a loop.

Daily activities: Wearing a 5cm anal plug when going out.

One extreme enema, lasting ten minutes.

Ten minutes of oral sex training, ten minutes of anal sex training, fifteen minutes of riding a rocking horse, dripping wax onto nipples and genitals; no orgasm allowed during training.

Weekly goal: One hour of 5mA electric shock.

One instance of outdoor exposure.

Monthly goal: Ten minutes of 6mA electric shock, simultaneously pricking nipples and clitoris 1-2mm with needles; one orgasm allowed.

Completely smearing feces on my body once; one orgasm allowed.

Posting photos and videos of myself without showing my face to major pornographic forums.

It was always difficult at first. To adapt to vomit more quickly, I initially only ate porridge. The taste changed a lot after vomiting, but it was still tolerable.

Step by step, from pure rice and noodles to some light dishes, the hardest to accept was meat; it was very difficult to swallow meat after vomiting. After a six-month adaptation period, I gradually became able to accept it. During

these six months, other projects also progressed smoothly; my anus has dilated to 10cm. My penis is 1 cm thick, and any pain triggers a feeling of wanting to orgasm.

I've also adapted to bowel movements and urination, eliminating the discomfort.

Every month, I post videos and photos of myself without showing my face online, initially on niche foreign forums; I don't intend to expose myself in China so soon.

Months have passed, and I've grown accustomed to this life. If I didn't occasionally see others living normal lives, I'd almost think everyone lived like me.

Before I knew it, the college entrance exam was over, and it was time to go to university. I specifically applied to the clinical medicine department to build up my knowledge for future self-transformation.

After university starts, I'll begin my fourth phase of transformation.

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