Gu Wangyan [Complete] - 10

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-24

In Chapter Nine, Wu He and Huan E form a bitter alliance, a pact of wine and meat

. The

author, Dun Weng, writes:
Jia Wenwu is portrayed as pedantic and pretentious, his words filled with archaic phrases, a facade of refinement meant only to elicit laughter. His treatment of Wu He is a mixture of wealth and sourness. His portrayal of Tong Zihao, a foolish rich man, is less impressive. Just look at the furnishings in his hall—tacky and vulgar, typical of a wealthy man's home. His treatment of Wu He is stingy and obnoxious, almost laughable. Huan E, on the other hand, is a different story—a spoiled and arrogant young master. The three are completely incompatible.

Who says Li Tai is ignorant? He is actually a figure like Dongfang Manqian, Chunyu Kun, and Huang Fanchuo; otherwise, how could he speak so wittily, every word a source of amusement? The incompatibility between Li Tai and his tutor Gan Sheng is Gan Sheng's fault, not Li Tai's. Why? Because most landlords in the world share Li Tai's habits. If Gan Sheng had sought the five-word secret of becoming a teacher from You Hun Gong and Bu Tong, they would have been as inseparable as glue and lacquer, and their relationship would not have deteriorated to the point of ice and charcoal.

The *Hundred Family Surnames* is directly interpreted as the first lecture in history, the letter to the "Great Master" as the first family letter in history, and the sworn brotherhood between the officials, merchants, and children as the first oath in history—unexpectedly, these three masterpieces appear in this chapter.

What harm does Zhong Qu's abandonment of his son-in-law do to Gan Sheng? It only harms his daughter. What glory does the marriage of a daughter according to true family precepts bring to

Gan Sheng? It only benefits his daughter. As for the two men's character and vision, who is superior and who is inferior, who is fortunate and who is unfortunate? Those choosing a son-in-law should choose accordingly. Zhong Sheng saved and supported the Xi family; he rejected the Li family, thus fulfilling the Li family's wishes. One is the cause of Zhong Sheng's success today, and the other is the result of the two families repaying kindness in the future.

Zhong Sheng's encounter with Qian Gui was due to Mei Sheng's help. Mei Sheng's marriage to the Li family was also due to Zhong Sheng's help; this can be described as repaying kindness with kindness.

The author could not have expressed the alliance between Huan, Jia, and Tong without feeling extremely indignant and heartbroken. How can this be seen? Simply look at the words spoken by the three men; they all convey the sentiment that the wealthy and powerful unite with others, while the poor sever ties with relatives.

(Chapter Nine: Wu He's Bitter Alliance with Powerful Friends: Huan E's Pact of Wine and Meat;

Appendix: Governor Li's Invitation of a Teacher: A Thousand-Year Tale; Scholar Zhong's Rescue of the Drowning: A Heartful Act)

It is said that when Wu He arrived at the gate of Scholar Jia, he saw a lantern hanging in the center of the gate tower, with the two large characters "Jia Ya" on it. Beside it was a large bench, where four servants sat; they were Scholar Jia's trusted stewards, named Jia Shi, Jia Li, Jia Fu, and Jia Gui. Wu He, who recognized them all, stepped forward, smiling and bowing, saying, "Long time no see, long time no see." The four men, seeing him, also rose and bowed, inviting him to sit on the bench, asking, "Master Wu, it's been a long time since you've come. Have you come today to ask for my master's poems and essays, or to request a visiting card from the yamen?" Wu He replied, "Neither. I have something important to say to my master in person, and I trouble you to convey my message." Jia Shi then addressed the gatekeeper, Jia Hun, saying: [The name Jia Hun evokes a sense of profound sorrow. "Hun" means gate. In this world, not only are power, wealth, and status illusory, but even this gate is illusory. Since the gate is illusory, this body is not real. The scriptures say: Life is like a dream, an illusion, a bubble, a shadow, like lightning, like dew. People do not understand this, yet they still strive for power, wealth, and status. What is the purpose of this?] “Go and inform him that Master Wu wishes to see the master.” Wu He replied, “I would be grateful if you could buy me tea another day.” [This is typical of Jiangning dialect.] The gatekeeper Jia returned a while later and said, “The master is in the hall. Please invite Master Wu in.” Wu He bid farewell to the four head stewards and followed the gatekeeper Jia to the courtyard. From afar, he saw Jia Wenwu sitting on a chair in the middle of the hall. Wu He hurriedly ran forward, bowed deeply, and said, “I am so sorry to have disturbed the master’s presence.” Jia Wenwu slowly walked down, slightly bent his waist, and returned a half-bow. [A slight bow indicates a high-ranking official meeting a lowly person.] He invited him to sit down, while he himself sat diagonally to keep him company. [Sitting diagonally to keep him company indicates the arrogance of a wealthy person.] He tilted his head back and said, "Looking up shows a fake bookworm's nature." These few words paint a picture of a false gentleman. "It's been a long time since I've seen Brother Wu. Why do you visit me so early today? Is there something you need?" Wu He bowed and said, "I wouldn't dare to come without a reason. I've come today firstly to wish you good health, and secondly because yesterday at Master Huan's place, he kindly invited me to stay for drinks. I mentioned your name, and Master Huan is very eager to meet you and wants to form a literary society with you. However, he doesn't want to make a sudden offer, so he asked me to introduce you first. I wonder what your opinion is?" Jia Wenwu said, "I've often heard that Master Huan is wealthy and arrogant, and he dislikes poverty and lowliness. He won't accept anything without his influence and profit. I never expected to meet you, Brother Wu. This shows how easily people can be misled; it's better to have no books than to believe everything in them. From this, we can see that Master Huan is indeed wealthy and courteous. It also shows that you, Brother Wu, have many acquaintances and a true friend. But regarding the matter of forming a literary society, I, your student, have already..." "If a middle-class person were to associate with the young master, it would be like wearing court robes and hat while sitting on charcoal—definitely unacceptable. As for forming a society, brother, please kindly decline on my behalf. If anyone tries to persuade me, I will surely hide in the shade of Mount Ji." Wu He said, "Your Excellency's opinion is indeed correct. However, it would be too much for Your Excellency to refuse the earnest offer from Master Huan. Furthermore, there is another matter: if Your Excellency were to form an alliance with Master Huan, and their family ties deepened, it would be quite beneficial. His grandfather is also a famous person; perhaps Your Excellency could receive some assistance when you are selected for the Ministry of Personnel. Please consider this carefully." Upon hearing this, Jia Wenwu clapped his hands and teased, "How insightful! Such words from such a person are truly eloquent! Am I not delighted? If so, I will go to the government office tomorrow morning, and I will not wait until he is dead to pay my respects." [Most people who become wealthy do not aspire to be officials. Jia Wenwu was not only a wealthy man but also a Jinshi (a successful candidate in the highest imperial examinations).] The word "official" naturally entices him. Wu He used this as bait, how could he not gladly comply? Even a bamboo weaver must possess the skill to move the bigwigs; if one is dull and only knows how to lick sores and hemorrhoids, he can only flatter the tycoons of the three villages.

Seeing that he agreed, Wu He was overjoyed and immediately got up to take his leave. Jia Wenwu stopped him, saying, "I have food and wine to offer you, sir." Wu He replied, "How dare I trouble you, sir?" Jia Wenwu said, "The sage said: 'A gentleman does not seek to be full when he eats,' but he did not say he would not eat. Do you consider my food to be unjust grain and refuse to eat it?" Wu He said, "How could I dare? It would be inappropriate." Jia Wenwu said, "My grain, though not obtained through machinery, was sown and cultivated by us humble servants, nourished by fertile soil and rain, resulting in a full granary. It is all due to our labor, so what harm is there? Let us sit and eat a little."

After a while, the servants brought over a table, piling the dishes high, a truly sumptuous feast. Wu He said, "Why is the feast so lavish, sir? How can I, a junior, possibly accept it?" Jia Wenwu replied, "The food is served in front of a large table; I will certainly do so when I am successful. One should not be too particular about the fineness of food or the delicacy of preparation. I am not a country bumpkin; how can I not follow the words of the sages? Eating vegetables and drinking water is what people in humble alleys do. Alas! What are people of such modest means to me? Is this how people of wealth and status behave?" While eating, he turned to his family and said, "Why not add ginger to the side dishes? Why not eat without the right sauce? Why not braise the meat with sauce?" He then said to Wu He, "This goose is not the one raised by Chen Dai." "Brother, why don't you eat? This meat isn't the pork Yang Huo sent you, so why don't you eat it? Will you stop eating it after three days?" "Not at all. Although I, your student, am far from the kitchen, if I were to say that the small price is absurd and that someone else is cooking it, how dare they deceive me?" "There is no such thing." Wu He said, "Sir, please have some too, so that I may start eating." Jia Wenwu said, "What do you mean? Eat when you can, stop when you can, each according to their own will. I desire fish, so I gave up meat for fish. Brother, please sit down and try it first." Wu He ate heartily and finished quickly. Then he asked for wine. He said to Wu He, "I have no limit to wine, but I won't drink it. I don't eat when I buy wine, but this isn't from a store, so please drink it." They each drank several cups, and Wu He said he would stop. Everyone left, and he got up to say goodbye. Before leaving, he said, "I will be waiting for your arrival tomorrow, sir. Please do not break your promise, lest the official punish me." Jia Wenwu said sternly, "What are you saying? [This sentence is clever.] Am I such a petty man? A people cannot stand without trust, as I said before." Wu He hurriedly bowed and said, "I apologize for my rudeness." He bowed again and took his leave. A few lines describe Jia Wenwu:

Though handsome, his character is mediocre. His mouth is full of poetry and books, but it cannot conceal his plain and simple nature; his myriad affectations cannot feign a refined manner. He sways and staggers, showing no sincerity; his belly is full of rotten and sour thoughts, displaying a flowery attitude.

Wu He left and rushed to the gate of Tongzi. He saw that the two large black lacquered gates were closed, with a red envelope pasted on it, indicating that he was a candidate for the position of Left Vice Minister of the Ministry of Personnel. [This is indeed true, do not take it as a joke.] Next to it were two notices posted by the street officials prohibiting defilement, which read: "

This office hereby decrees: All unauthorized persons are prohibited from defilement here. Violators will be arrested and prosecuted."

A large circle in vermilion ink. [Excellent. In Jiangnan, whether students or wealthy men, seven or eight out of ten households display this.] After looking at it once, seeing no gatekeeper enter or leave, he had no choice but to push open the door and go inside. In the main hall, he saw many people sitting on large benches against the walls on both sides. Wu He approached, bowed, and sat down with the others. He saw a red paper pasted on a blue-and-white screen with gold lettering, a notice announcing his selection as a candidate for the Left Vice-Prefect. Hanging in the center was a large scroll of red silk with gold lettering, a congratulatory scroll from his assistants congratulating him on his financial assistance. [Assistants, excellent. He probably hasn't given this to anyone other than his financial assistants.] Many names followed. [This is a hall painting from a wealthy man's house.] In the very center was a large communal seat, with writing brush and inkstone, and a large red silk tablecloth. On the table sat a large balance scale and an abacus, next to which was a square table, [laughing out loud, this is a wealthy scholar, a rich man trying to act like an official, quite amusing.] piled high with account books and bundles. On either side of the screen door were two large screens, vermilion lacquered and gilded with dragon and tiger motifs; one depicted the Three Heroes battling Lü Bu at Hulao Pass, the other the Ambush from Ten Sides at Jiuli Mountain. [These two screens could not be used anywhere else but in the wealthy man's household.] In the center was a large lacquered wooden table, upon which sat a large porcelain vase with red and green flowers and a black lacquered base. Inside was a large peony made of silk, along with several peacock feathers. [Such embellishments, befitting a wealthy man.] In the southeast corner of the hall stood a large drum, flanked by a large sedan chair with a silk veil and a tin roof depicting the Five Sacred Mountains, a large umbrella, and two pairs of large curtain lanterns. On one side are the five characters "Candidate for Left Hall of the Prefecture," and on the other are the two large characters "Tong Yamen." [This is a very clever arrangement, though it is exactly the same as what Wu Hexiang Huan'e said in the previous volume. He only spoke of it, this is what I saw, so I don't feel the repetition.] A large plaque hangs from the central beam, red with gold characters, inscribed "Shifu Hall." On the pillars on either side are couplets written in vermilion paper. One reads: "

May money flow in like the Yangtze River and the sea, endlessly for ten thousand years .

" The other reads:

"May rice and grain pile up like towering mountains, lasting for a thousand years." [Seeing this couplet reminds me of a funny story. There was an old man who was very greedy. One day, while strolling in the suburbs, he saw a large open space and calculated: "How much oxen will I need, how much plowing will I need, how many fields will I need to cultivate, how much will I harvest in a year? In time, I can become a wealthy man."] A man nearby laughed and said, "We'll need several hundred catties of iron to make it perfect." The old man asked, "What's the use of the iron?" The man replied, "To cast you, so you won't die." This is for ten thousand years, for a thousand years to pass, and it would also require casting a Tong Zida from iron to make it perfect.

After sitting for two or three mealtimes, a servant came out and said, "The master has finally woken up after waiting for half a day. He wants you all to wait." Everyone responded, and Wu He recognized him as Tong Lu, [a wealthy man's name. "Prosperity comes from copper coins; how could one not be wealthy?"] He quickly bowed to him and said, "Please inform him that I am waiting here for the master to speak." Tong Lu went and came out after a while, saying, "The master understands. Please sit down, Mr. Wu, I'll be right there." Wu He had no choice but to wait again, his heart growing anxious. Just past noon, he saw Tong Zida, his face still smothered with drunkenness, his eyes half-open, [a wealthy man's appearance]. Wearing thick-soled red shoes, and supported by a handsome young man from Suzhou named Meilang, he slowly strolled out. Looking at the arrogant Tong Zida:

he was dressed in fine clothes, yet his air of dullness was overwhelming; he appeared to be a wealthy man, but was actually obese and laughable. He feigned officialdom, wearing a soft-winged Tang-style turban; he pretended to be refined, wearing two pairs of three-tone red shoes.

Upon seeing him, Wu He hurriedly stepped forward and bowed, saying, "Sir, you seem to be enjoying yourself, still dreaming." Tong Zida said, "These people who borrowed money have been treating me to banquets and drinks for days, keeping me up all night and getting very drunk. Yesterday I drank even more, and now I can't even get up. If it weren't for their employees coming to settle accounts and pay interest, I would be sleeping right now." He then invited Wu He to sit down. He asked the crowd, "Are you all here?" Everyone stood in formation, bowed, and replied, "We've all been here for a while, ready to serve you in settling the accounts." He then said to Wu He, "Please sit down. We can talk after I've finished settling the accounts." He then took his seat on the official platform. [This is laughable; he didn't need to wait in line or call for a court hearing before taking his seat, saving himself the trouble.] He ordered everyone to calculate the accounts one by one. After they finished, he brought over the scales, exchanged the silver, and only then did everyone leave. The whole process took half a day. He then had Meilang write down the accounts and put them in the cabinet in his study. He personally delivered the silver to Tie Shi. After quite some time, it was already afternoon, when he finally came out and sat down. He then said to Wu He, "It's been a while since I've seen you; you've gotten quite plump. I suppose you've managed to get some money from that bigwig." [Seeing how he talks about money so readily, he's a true tycoon.] Wu

He said, "I've always been with Master Huan, receiving his favor, and haven't gone anywhere else." Tong Zida said, "I often hear people say that his family has a lot of silver. [The first sentence is about money, the second about silver; only a wealthy person could have such wealth.] Since you often visit his house, how does he compare to me?" Wu He said, "Although his family is extremely wealthy, they are probably not much different from yours." Tong Zida sighed and said, "I thought I was one of the wealthiest people in the capital, but who knew there was someone else like him. From now on, I will go without food for several years to accumulate more silver than his family and become the first wealthy person, only then will my wish be fulfilled." [If you don't eat for seven days, you will starve to death; if you don't eat for several years, you will become a skeleton. What use is the name of a wealthy person then? It's even more foolish than those who can live like immortals for half a day and be happy even in death.] As they were talking, Tong Lu came and said, "Please have a meal, sir." Tong Zida said, "We have guests here, please wait a moment." [This is how he was invited and answered the first time.] Tong Lu went out. Wu He said, "Yesterday at Master Huan's place, he said he wanted to make some friends, all outstanding individuals. I mentioned your names, and you were very pleased, so you sent me to ask if you have such an interest?" Tong Zida pouted and said, "Hmm, [The description is vivid.] They are just young masters, while I am an official, and money comes easily to me. [This statement is not foolish.] Although I am a wealthy man, I earned it all through hard work and painstaking effort. [You earned it all through hard work and painstaking effort, a remarkable story.] How could I possibly compete with him?" Wu He said, "Even so, Young Master Huan..." "Today, this is the first family we've met with such a powerful figure. It wouldn't be a mistake for you, sir, to befriend him. It'll just cost a bit of money, but once we're on good terms, we can ask him to do us a favor at the local government office. I doubt any official would dare refuse him; then we'd even recoup our initial investment."

Just then, Tong Lu came out again and whispered in her ear, "The mistress inside is scolding us, saying the food is left uneaten and will get cold soon, costing us money to reheat it." Tong Lu replied, "Tell the mistress that someone is talking here, otherwise I'll go in and eat first. Even if it gets cold, it doesn't matter; the weather is warm. Tell her to leave some hot tea, I'll brew some and drink it later." [This is the second time he was asked to reply.] Tong Lu left. He said to Wu He, "Last year I did something unlucky, and I still regret it to this day. Just thinking about it makes my whole body tremble and my teeth chatter." Wu He asked, "What was it that made you so angry, sir?" Tong Zida said, "I was easily swayed by what people said, and I took in some damn bastard, a student of the Imperial Academy." [The term "student of the Imperial Academy" is unusual. Reading this reminds me of an old story. Several people were chatting, and the topic of taking in students came up. One said, "Those who take in students of the Imperial Academy are people who were in a bad debt in their previous lives. In this life, they use the name of taking in students to make up for it. Otherwise, there are tens of thousands of students of the Imperial Academy in the world, but how many of them actually get the honor of taking in a student? Doesn't he know this and still do this?" Another said, "No, he doesn't want to be an official. He just uses this title to protect his family."] But many of these people are illiterate, and their indiscriminate attire is extremely disrespectful. They should be tested; only those with some literacy should be allowed to enter the Imperial Academy. That seems more appropriate.” Another person laughed and said, “He was afraid of this, which is why he did it this way. If he still did it this way, why would he bother?” (This is added for a laugh.) Wearing a gauze hat, he looked imposing and handsome. In his old age, he painted his shadow, wearing a bright red round-necked official robe.” He sighed, gritted his teeth, and said, “Ha! I regret not listening to my grandmother.”

After saying this, he leaned back in his chair and said, "Oh dear, my stomach is bloated with anger." Wu He asked, "What did Grandma say?" He sighed again and said, "My grandma is right. She said to me, 'You're like a shrimp jumping on a three-stringed instrument, all brisk and swaying. Don't try to eat swan meat while hiding in a ditch. I advise you to eat more water chestnuts and get rid of your delusions. There's no mirror, so take a piss and look at yourself. You look like a thief, and you want to be an official? You'd be better off keeping to your place.' Although I dared not say anything, I secretly resented her for belittling me so harshly, saying I wasn't even worth half a paper money. But in my high spirits and out of spite, I went and did it. I thought that once I became a student of the Imperial Academy, I would be a high-ranking official in the court and could get rich. [What a strange idea! Becoming a student of the Imperial Academy and being a high-ranking official is already strange, but getting rich is even stranger.] She made me take in many servants and build a large sedan chair." Pointing to the sedan chair, he said: "Isn't this it? [Even a painting can't capture it.] My prison corpse is heavy, [so I'm blessed.] Because the sedan chair is too big, it takes three or four sedan chair bearers to carry it out of the city, and for slightly farther distances, it takes six people in shifts, wasting so much money. Don't you see that now I just walk when I go out? Unless someone has a sedan chair or horse, I won't ride in a sedan chair. Back then, taking advantage of a moment of bad luck, [bad luck is also a strange occurrence] I begged the government officials and paid respects to the authorities, wasting hundreds of taels of silver." He stuck out his tongue and said, "You think it's a small amount? Several big white bags. Who knew there was no benefit at all. Although I got an imperial edict from the Imperial Academy, [strange tale]. I put it in the main hall at home, but I can't eat it, I can't wear it. It has words on it when I wipe my butt, and it's gaudy when I paste it on the windows. I heard people say that seeing that thing can ward off disasters. You've grown up, have you ever seen one? I'll take it out for you to see." [Seeing it can ward off disasters, the idea is really getting weirder and weirder.] Wu He suppressed a laugh and said, "No need. That's the master's prized possession; it would be terrible if it were damaged."

Tong Zida nodded repeatedly, saying, "That's right, that's right." He added, "People flatter me because I'm a student of the Imperial Academy and have some money. [This is quite absurd.] Although they call me 'Master' to my face, [but you should know that calling me 'Master' is out of respect for my elder brother, not because I'm a student of the Imperial Academy.] Behind my back, they still call me 'Old Tong,' 'Tong Chou.' [This is not entirely to blame. Even those who rise to the position of Prime Minister or Minister in Guide Prefecture, Henan, are called by their first names behind their backs. The customs have deteriorated to this extent.] At least when I go to someone's house to hang paper money, I can still maintain a proper appearance." He only beats the drum twice, and the actors don't even come to the theater. He just goes to the banquet there in the evening and comes back, carrying a respectable lantern befitting a candidate for the position of Left Vice-Prefect. On the first and fifteenth of the month, he burns incense at the family shrine, wearing a heron-patterned robe. On the fourteenth of Qingming Festival, he goes to the graves, wearing a gauze hat to scare the villagers. [Wearing this robe and gauze hat, he can only scare ghosts, not necessarily the villagers.] In the autumn, he goes to the village to collect rent, carrying a large sedan chair with a big red seal on the door; there's nothing else to hide. Even asking the officials for a favor is incredibly difficult.

He stomped his feet twice, sighed angrily, and said: [This passage vividly portrays a child's arrogance.] "He's made me angry for the past two years. Now he's sent all his family members to the village to farm, and he doesn't associate with anyone anymore. He needs ten a day, and if he saves five, he has to make up for it before he's satisfied." He shook his hand, saying: [The description of his dazed state is exquisite.] “Now I’m smart, I won’t fall for your tricks. [That may not be the case.] I’m not going to strike the bell now, but instead I’m going to smelt copper. What’s the point of talking about getting my money back? It’s just like the saying goes, ‘You don’t want the wood to be cut, but you want the axe to come off.’” Wu He laughed and said, “What you say is true, sir. But the young master has countless silver piled up at home, and he’s a young master who’s willing to spend it all. If we get along with him, we can ask him to lend us tens of thousands of silver. You can use it to make interest, and then pay him back the principal. Would he really ask you for interest? Wouldn’t that be a bargain?” Tong Zida stood up, jumped around a few times, then sat down again, making circles in the air with his hands, and said: [At first he was stumbling and gritting his teeth in anger, but now he’s jumping around and making circles in the air with his hands, showing his great joy. He’s really lively.] "Wonderful! Wonderful! [You haven't even met Jia Wenwu yet, and you've already gone overboard with your literary flair.] You've been talking for half a day, and this one sentence is absolutely brilliant. The illogical position of the ancient and modern world's connection—it makes me feel happy from the bottom of my heart."

Just as he was praising her, he saw Tong Lu muttering as he came out, saying, "I've invited you to dinner twice, but you refused, causing me to get scolded. I don't know what kind of nonsense you're spouting?" He went to Tong Zida's side, tugged at his sleeve, and said, "The tea's cold. Please go eat. The mistress said she'd talk after we eat. Don't be embarrassed, go quickly." Then he whispered in his ear, [Tugging at the master's sleeve and whispering in his ear paints a picture of an ignorant, foolish servant.] "The mistress is still scolding me. She says I'm gossiping, leaving things unsaid, and even on my deathbed, I'm sending my ghost away. Where is this kind of talk now?" Tong Zida was in the middle of a good time, and since he couldn't leave, and he was sitting with someone else, how could he go in and eat alone? He could only say, "[The word 'only' shows his true predicament.]" He continued, "Go and tell Grandma that my friend, Master Wu, is here discussing important matters. How can I leave him here and eat alone? Go and bring out the food, and I'll eat with Master Wu." [This invitation was made three times, implying he was too happy to rest before finally asking for food. The depiction of the materialistic nature of people, using the invitation to eat in three separate sections, is brilliant.] Master Wu is family; a simple meal will suffice, no need for such trouble. [Unexpectedly, even someone in charge of household affairs has become a hassle.] Just do as I say, and don't say anything wrong that might upset Grandma." Tong Lu agreed and left. Tong Zida said, "You speak well, but I wonder if he's actually willing to lend me the money?" Wu He replied, "As the old saying goes, 'Small investments don't yield big profits.' You, sir, will have to spend a few coins to build a good relationship with him. A foolish young master is always looking for small gains, and seeing the wealth of your household, how could he not lend you the money? Although you may spend a little, the interest will grow, and you'll reap more than tenfold." Tong Zida was delighted and nodded, [I thought I wouldn't fall for your trick, but now I have.] He chuckled incessantly. [Wu He's words were brilliant; he used them to his advantage. He said Jia Wenwu was after fame and fortune, and Tong Zida was after wealth and profit, directly appealing to their desires, hence their willingness to comply. This perfectly matched his pretense of a bitter alliance with a powerful and opportunistic friend.]

Tong Lu carried two bowls of food and two small dishes on a square tray, saying, "There's only enough for one person, Master. We don't have much. Just make do with some tea and share with Master Wu." Wu He looked at the dishes: one bowl contained four or five pieces of stinky pickled fish on the bottom; the other contained a piece of cold tofu topped with a pinch of salt; one dish contained dozens of fried salted beans ([Hui people usually use only a few beans for a meal, but this family used dozens—quite extravagant!]); and the other dish contained a dozen or so pickled leeks. Tong Lu said, "This tofu is only good for ourselves. How can we serve guests?" He then said to Tong Lu, "Take a coin and go to the incense and candle shop to buy some sesame oil to mix with it. Make sure to get two sheets of straw paper and a few lamp wicks too; don't let them get away with it. Go to the pawnshop and ask for money to buy it; don't go upstairs to ask, lest the lady complain about the expense." Tong Lu then took the bowl of tofu and left . Tong Zida said, “The guest is here, yet he runs around with a bowl. What kind of etiquette is that? Go buy it with something else.” Tong Lu said, “If I go to buy it with something else, half of it will be lost. It will look like I lost half a coin. [How strange, how can half a coin be lost? What use is half a coin? It shows the master and servant are getting along well.] It looks better if it's kept here.” Tong Zida nodded repeatedly and said, “Good, good. [As the proverb says: Raising a child doesn't require feeding him gold and silver, but rather letting him understand the situation and feel affection. Tong Lu can understand his master's heart, truly a good servant.] He has the heart of a manager.” After Tong Lu left, Tong Zida said to Wu He, “Brother, you eat a lot of wine and meat at the young master's place every day. I usually only eat salted beans, and every three to five days I buy a piece of tofu to mix with my food. Now that you are here, the mistress is doing things for me. Not only is there tofu, but there is also pickled fish. He keeps this fish for himself, and I dare not touch it.” [Clearly, she doesn't want him to eat it. How brilliant.] Wu He said, “My wise grandmother, your hospitality is truly remarkable. In ancient times, people didn't eat too many dishes; tofu alone was enough. Why insist on fish? Master, this is going too far. A frugal family should always be mindful of saving money.” Tong Zida said, “Brother, your words are truly insightful. However, one must not be stingy when entertaining guests.” [Once, a man invited guests, but offered nothing, only dancing and shouting wildly. The guests, surprised, asked why. He replied, “One must not be frivolous when entertaining guests.” If Tong Zida had followed this example, wouldn't he have saved on fish and tofu?]

As they spoke, Tong Lu bought oil, mixed it with tofu, and each person ate a little over a bowl of tea-soaked rice. [One person's rice was divided among two, so each person only had a little over a bowl. Very meticulous.] Wu He didn't dare touch the few pieces of fish either. [The official, as expected of an old hand.] He wouldn't allow it either. After they finished eating, he instructed Tong Lu, "You can have the leftover tofu. Take this bowl of fish and these two pieces of paper lampwick to Madam. The fish is counted in pieces, so make sure it's clear." Tong Lu smacked his lips and snorted as he took it. Wu He said, "Tomorrow morning, sir, you can go to Master Huan's place to pay your respects. I will be waiting for you there." He stood up. Tong Zidao asked, "Should I walk or take a sedan chair tomorrow?" Wu He replied, "Of course, taking a sedan chair is more proper." Tong Zidao said, "If they don't have a sedan chair and horses, wouldn't we be wasting our money?" Wu He said, "We were just talking, and you've already forgotten, sir." Tong Zidao said, "I was calculating cash, so I forgot about that debt. Be careful; I always need to take advantage of others to make things convenient. If I do things the same way as them, I won't be able to get by." Wu He said, "I know, I know." Just as he was about to leave, Tong Zidao grabbed him and said, "Should I eat before I go, or not?" Wu He said, "They will naturally have food and drink there; there's no need for food at home." Then he parted ways. By this time, it was already dusk. He thought, "I can't go to the official's residence now, especially since there's no one at home. [Note: At this time, Ying Shi had not yet been captured.] I should go home now and leave early tomorrow." He returned home, but that's another story.

Now, Huan E, having been beaten twice with a stick that morning, ran out and drank with Wu He all day. In the evening, he had no choice but to go back inside, where he was scolded again by Madam Hou, but dared not utter a sound. He slept through the night, and the next morning he hid again, waiting for Wu He's reply. When he still hadn't come by afternoon, he told Huan Ying, "Go to Old Wu's house and see if he's home. Call him here." Huan Ying went and returned a while later reporting, "Master Wu's house is locked; I don't know where he went." Huan E waited until evening but still didn't see him, and then flew into a rage, saying, "That scoundrel! He dares to deceive me!" He then ordered his servants, "If Old Wu comes tomorrow, give him a good beating. Chase him away and never let him come again." Everyone agreed. It turned out that these henchmen of the Huan family were all on good terms with Wu He. The next day, when they saw him arrive, they said to him, "Yesterday, the master was furious that you didn't come. He ordered that when you came, we would beat you up and chase you away." Wu He was greatly alarmed. He repeatedly bowed and said, "I beg you brothers to think of a clever plan to salvage the situation for me, and I will report back later." One of them, named Huan Ji, said, "That foolish young master is like a dog; he's probably forgotten by now. I'll go in and check for you." He went in and saw Huan E sitting alone in the "Insufficient Hall." Why is it called the Insufficient Hall? It's named after Wang Anshi's saying, "Heaven's way is not to be feared, public opinion is not to be heeded, and ancestral laws are not to be upheld." Huan E sat high above, looking rather inadequate. Huan Ji stepped forward and reported, "Lord Wu arrived this morning. We were ordered by Master yesterday to give him a good beating and send him home. He refused, saying he was afraid Master would be angry with him and couldn't bear it, so he knelt at the door begging for forgiveness." Huan E laughed and said, "You've already beaten him, why are you still angry with him? Let him in." Huan Ji went to the door and said to Wu He, "Congratulations, Master invites you."

Upon hearing this, Wu He felt as if he had been released from the gates of hell. He hurriedly went to the hall, knelt down, and said, "I have committed an unforgivable crime, yet I have been forgiven. I am truly overjoyed and hereby express my gratitude." Huan E had someone help him up and said, "I was just happy for a moment. I no longer blame you. You may sit down." Only then did Wu He dare to sit down. Huan E said, "Yesterday I was angry because you didn't come. Now that you've come, my anger has vanished to the Eastern Ocean. What's there to be angry about? Where did you go yesterday?" He chuckled and said, "Did you go looking for another missing wife? Although I'm not angry with you, I'll still punish you for breaking your promise." He ordered a servant to bring a plate of food and fruit. In a moment, a servant brought a silver plate of eggplant, asparagus, candied oranges, and green plums, and presented it to him. Huan E smiled at Wu He and said, "You're being punished to eat this." Why? Because Huan E never ate sweets; they made him nauseous and vomit, and he assumed everyone felt the same way. Knowing his ailment, Wu He feigned pleading, "Since Your Excellency has shown me such leniency, how can I possibly eat this?" Huan E laughed, "I don't care about you; you must eat it." Wu He had come early that morning on an empty stomach and was feeling quite hungry. He pretended to struggle, eating as he spoke, "I dare not disobey your punishment. Please have a bowl of tea; otherwise, this sweetness is unbearable." Huan E ordered a bowl of tea poured for him, and Wu He ate about half of it. The sweetness became unbearable, and he said, "I truly cannot go on; please, Heaven, forgive me." He then feigned nausea, turning his face away and vomiting a few times. Huan E laughed loudly, "That's enough for him; forgive him." He then ordered the servants to take the food away. Then he asked, "You said the other day you were going to the Jia and Tong families, did you go yesterday?" Wu He replied, "By order of the esteemed sir, if I hadn't gone, I would have been condemned to death. Yesterday morning, I was just about to leave when, thanks to the sir's grace, he informed the county and sent several constables to my house to inquire about the details. I spoke with them for a while before leaving. I went to Master Jia's house, but because there was a constant stream of people asking for poems and manuscripts, I had to wait until I had finished dealing with them before I could speak. [There are many liars in the world. However, Wu He's lie to Huan E was not something that could stir up Huan E's emotions; he was not like others who sincerely lied for their own sake. However, his praise of Jia and Tong to Huan E was also to fulfill the remaining meaning of the two words 'bitter couplet.'] Because I mentioned that the sir had the intention to make friends with him, he repeatedly said humbly..." "I dare not accept such praise. It was only after I said that I should obey rather than be disrespectful, and that I should not fail the lord's kindness in treating scholars with respect, that he finally agreed. He said he would definitely come to pay his respects today, and I was also honored to be treated to a meal, the splendor of which goes without saying. The delicacies were all things I had never seen before in my life; he was truly a wealthy and talented man." Huan E praised, "What a fine family." Then he turned to Wu He and said, "Your description of my acquaintance is wonderful. Even Su Qin, the one who was appointed prime minister of six states in the play, and his friend surnamed Zhang, what was his name? [The play about appointing prime ministers of six states is often performed, so he remembers it as Su Qin. The play about Zhang Yi is less performed, so he doesn't remember his name. You have a wonderful portrayal of the foolish young master.] Neither of them can compare to you. Have you ever been to the house of that rich man Tong?" [The addition of "rich man" to "rich man" indicates that he had long heard of Tong's reputation for being worth millions.] Wu He said, “After bidding farewell to Master Jia, I went to the Tong residence. He had been drinking and feasting all day and was still drunk. I waited quite a while before he finally came out. He wanted to collect interest, so I couldn’t speak. There were many servants waiting around, and a balance scale the size of a clothes hanger was placed in the middle. He weighed it again and again, weighing countless amounts of fine silk. I was quite angry watching him. Only after he finished and everyone left could I finally speak.” Huan E nodded and said, “A true tycoon, a true tycoon.” [He praised him repeatedly, saying, “Excellent. It’s clear he thinks he’s inferior.”] Wu He then said, “When I mentioned that you, sir, were coming to visit, he said he really longed to do so. He also said he would definitely come to pay his respects today. He insisted on keeping me for a meal and wouldn’t let me go, even scattering black coins. I was afraid you would be resting, so I didn’t dare to disturb you and came to report this morning. How could I dare to break my promise before you, sir? I beg for your mercy and understanding.” Huan E said, “So that’s why. I was wronged earlier and punished with those meals. Now that you’ve explained it, I’m no longer angry. But I always thought I was the first unparalleled wealthy man, who knew there were also Old Jia and Old Tong.” [Although he was impressed, it was difficult for him to accept the good deed.] Wu He said, “Those two families are just rich, how can they compare to you, sir, who are both rich and noble, the best in the world?” [He first praised the wealth of the Jia and Tong families, firstly to confirm his previous statement; secondly, to make Huan E respect and love him, so that their relationship would be solid. Now that the two were settled, he still suppressed the other two families to flatter Huan E.] "What a skilled bamboo weaver!" Huan'e rubbed his belly and laughed heartily. He then instructed his family, "I am hosting an important guest today. Prepare two banquets, and make sure everything is in order. Make preparations quickly and do not be negligent."

Just then, a servant rushed in, saying, "Master Jia has come to pay his respects." He handed over a visiting card, which Wu He took and read aloud: [He feared Huan E might not recognize the characters.] "Your younger brother, Jia Wenwu, a fellow student and relative of Nian Shitong, pays his respects." [The most extraordinary visiting card of all time.] Several large characters. Wu He hurriedly put it down and ran out of the gate to greet him, saying, "Master Huan has been waiting in the hall for quite some time." Jia Wenwu then alighted from his sedan chair and strolled in. At the entrance to the hall, Huan E came out to greet him and bowed, inviting him into the hall. After bowing and sitting down, Huan E observed that he was quite handsome, though his eyes were slightly dim-witted. [These days, all those who pretend to be cultured feign dim-wittedness; I wonder when this started. Were all the famous scholars of old dim-witted?] He was dressed very lavishly, wearing red shoes, carrying a gold fan with carved edges and paintings, from which hung a pair of spectacles, and was accompanied by a dozen or so well-dressed servants. After a short while, tea was served. After the meal, Jia Wenwu said, “I have long admired your family, which is renowned for its wealth and your community for its prestige. You are a truly exceptional young man, unparalleled since the beginning of humankind. Yesterday, I heard from Brother Wu that you were so humble as to ask me questions. How could I, a mere mortal, possibly be worthy of such praise? You are already of noble birth, and your age and virtue are both exceptional, making you a paragon of virtue. Yet you still so earnestly cherish scholars. Even the Duke of Zhou, who famously spat out his food and held his hair in his hands, would gladly concede defeat. I am not speaking rashly; I have never taken shortcuts, and even on official business, I do not visit the homes of the powerful. It was through Brother Wu's acquaintance that I learned of your fondness for friends coming from afar and your skill in making friends. I have long held you in high esteem. How could I not come to pay my respects?” Huan E replied, “I have long admired your great name, Brother Jia. I am overjoyed to have you grace me with your presence.” Jia Wenwu said, “You are truly hospitable, Brother Jia. Please allow me to stay.” "Huh?" Huan'e said, "Old Wu said that Brother Jia is both talented and wealthy, so I admire him greatly." Jia Wenwu said, "Whether I have it or not is up to fate. Wealth and honor gained unjustly are like fleeting clouds to me. As for talent, everyone has their own ambition. I remember when I was young, my teacher praised me, saying: 'You are a vessel, a precious gem, how virtuous! It is a joy for me to educate the best talents in the world. You are not resentful when others do not know you, are you not a gentleman?' However, although I am not a saint, I am tireless in my studies and tireless in my teaching."

As they were talking, a servant came in and said, "Master Tong has arrived." Huan'e got up to greet him, but Master Tong, wearing a Tang-style headscarf and fine clothes, swayed and followed by a servant carrying a gilded book cover. He had already reached the entrance of the hall. Huan'e hurriedly let him in, and they bowed to each other and sat down. Tong Zida raised his hand to Huan E and said, "I have long heard of your wealth and power, [and the first thing you say is about wealth]. I dared not approach you lightly. Although I longed to meet you, I had no way to do so. Now, thanks to Brother Wu's introduction, I have come to pay my respects." He then asked his servant to retrieve a blank red slip of paper from the bookshelf, held it with both hands, bowed, and personally handed it to Huan E, saying, "I was going to write a few words, but firstly, I didn't know how to address you, and secondly, I would have troubled someone to write it, and I was afraid you would also trouble someone to read it, so I didn't write it. You can keep it to visit someone another day." [I have only heard of blank steles in ancient times, but I never expected to see blank visiting cards. This is quite an eye-opener. Jia Wenwu's visiting card was already strange, but Tong Zida's is even stranger. I have seen many strange things in one day, which is very enjoyable.] Huan E said, "Since we are going to be friends, why bother with such formalities? Please take back the invitation." Tong Zida said, "Really? If that's the case, I'll obey." He handed it to his family, saying, "Keep it safe, it saves you two coins." Huan E said, "I've often heard Old Wu say that Brother Tong's family is the wealthiest in the capital, so I came at your invitation. We wanted to form a society together and have fun together. I'm so grateful for your hospitality." Tong Zida said, "Not at all." Then he pointed to Jia Wenwu and asked Wu He, "Is this brother the wealthy Jia Jinshi from that gate tower with the three gold characters inside?" [When he met Wu He, he immediately talked about money; when he met Huan E, he immediately talked about wealth; and now when he asked Jia Wenwu, it was about money again. He wouldn't speak unless it was about money. In ancient times, people called this "money addicts." Could Tong Zida be a descendant of that?] Wu He said, "He is indeed the most famous and talented man in the world." Tong Zida bowed and said, "I've been thinking about him for a long time." Suddenly he laughed and said, "The other day I watched a play, and the character Jia Zhicheng was patronizing a brothel. When he saw the prostitute, he said a proverb, which is exactly what I'm talking about today, Brother Jia. He said that eighteen copper coins were kept in two places. I've heard that for a long time." Jia Wenwu said, "Is this Brother Tong's surname Tong, perhaps the Tong of six or seven people? And does your wife refer to herself as the Tong of Xiaotong?" Wu He replied, "He is indeed the famous Mr. Tong, the millionaire." Jia Wenwu said, "How rich you are! How rich you are! What more could you want?" Tong Zida said, "This young master is a rich old man..." "Being a gentleman isn't easy either. A rich man is made through day and night calculations, while a gentleman is bought with large sums of silver. [A rich man is made through day and night calculations—that's natural. A gentleman is bought with large sums of silver; though respectable, he's unsavory.] Brother, don't look down on me. Unlike you two young masters, becoming a Jinshi (a successful candidate in the highest imperial examinations) doesn't cost anything." [Jia Wenwu said, "I cost much more."] Jia Wenwu said, "What the rich desire is not obtained through proper means. If wealth were truly attainable through effort, I would even do the menial task of carrying a whip, but I fear that wealth would be unbenevolent." Having said this, he prepared to leave. Huan E said, "It is an honor to have you two brothers visit. How could I sit idly by? A simple meal has been prepared; please have a seat." Jia Wenwu said, "Those who offer food and drink are despised by their parents and countrymen. I dare not accept such a humble offer." Tong Zida said, "I am truly humbled and have not yet eaten. Since you have invited me to eat, why not offer me a bowl? It would save my family some firewood and rice. I know I have two virtues: I will sit when invited and stay when asked, never causing trouble for my host." [Although this is not entirely true...] It's alright, though, compared to those pretentious and repulsive things. Brother Jia, don't pretend. Jia Wenwu looked up to the sky and said, "Alas! I never expected you to study the ancient ways for food and drink; aren't you afraid that scholars will laugh at you?" Tong Zida said, "I kindly asked you to stay on behalf of the host; if you don't want to listen, so be it. Why be so pedantic? If you want to go, just go; I'm not going." Huan'e said, "Brother Tong is asking for a favor; you shouldn't be so stubborn." Wu He pleaded with him again, and only then did he sit down, laughing: "How can a child be frugal if he desires so much?" Looking around at the spacious houses, he sighed, "Mountains and waterweeds, how can they compare to the ruler's gate? Even the government offices have gates blocked by trees. It's clear the position of a young nobleman is not insignificant; how can he be frugal?" Looking up, he saw the three characters "Zubu Tang" (Hall of Insufficiency) and nodded in admiration, saying, "How beautiful is this name! If the people are well-off, how can the ruler be lacking? If the people are lacking, how can the ruler be well-off? This is the meaning." Seeing a large landscape painting by Dong Qichang hanging in the center, he praised, "This is not Sibai..." Was this the work of Master Dong, the Grand Minister of Rites? This mountain is like a mountain among mountains; climbing Mount Dong makes the mountains of Lu seem small, climbing Mount Tai makes the mountains of the world seem small. This water is the accumulated water that fills all the ditches and streams, the flood that overflows the world, the turbulent spring that flows endlessly day and night. The wise delight in water, the benevolent delight in mountains. Only the virtuous find joy in this; the unvirtuous, though possessing it, do not find joy in it.” Tong Zida frowned at Wu He and said, “I’ll go too, or should I sit for a while?” [To leave or stay as one pleases, wonderful.] Huan E said, "Brother, you were just advising Brother Jia, why are you saying you're going now?" Tong Zida replied, "To be honest, I haven't eaten anything since I had dinner with Brother Wu yesterday, not even a snack, before coming to pay my respects. Yesterday I asked Brother Wu if he had eaten or not, and he told me not to, so I did. Now I'm very hungry, my stomach is rumbling and my intestines are hurting. If there's food, please hurry." [Although he was stingy, he was a sincere man, hence his great fortune. A man from Huizhou went to a brothel on an empty stomach, and while he was enjoying himself, his stomach rumbled loudly because it was empty. The brothel was shocked and asked why, but he had no answer, only saying, "This is thieving behavior." Tong Zida might also be thieving behavior. It's because in Jiangnan, the most offensive term is "thieving behavior."]

Huan E urged them to drink, and soon two tables were set up, with the host and guests seated separately. The servants brought out bowl after bowl, filled with nothing but sashimi and delicacies. The table was piled high with cups and plates. Jia Wenwu said, "I, a scholar, can easily afford two bowls of food. Why must I indulge in such lavish feasts? A grand meal would surely make me pale." Huan'e said, "It's just a simple meal. I'm afraid it would be disrespectful to you, brother. Why such excessive praise?" Jia Wenwu said, "Even dogs and pigs eat people without restraint. The people are hungry, and there are starving corpses in the fields. This is tantamount to leading beasts to devour people." Tong Zida said, "Ignoring such fragrant good food and just talking nonsense, wouldn't it be a waste if it got cold? I cannot serve you." He then lowered his head and began to eat heartily. Jia Wenwu smiled faintly and said, "What a petty person you are, Brother Tong. Few are truly benevolent. Zuo Qiuming was ashamed of it, and so am I."

After a short while, Jia Wenwu finished eating and was about to get up again. Huan'e said, "I have a wonderful garden called Fei Garden at my residence. Please come and have a look, brothers. There will also be some drinks; please sit down." Jia Wenwu said, "This is not the place for sacrifices in Dongguo Panjian. Why should I ask for more than enough and go elsewhere? I fear my wives and concubines will weep in the courtyard. However, since you have offered me food, I will accept it." Huan'e kept the two men there, and they went to Fei Garden to admire the scenery. Tong Zida said, "Young master, your garden is indeed well-maintained; it must cost a lot of money. I can't bear to part with it. Wouldn't it generate a lot of profit if I opened a pawnshop?" [With such thoughts, how could one not become a wealthy man?] Wu He said, "Master, this garden is truly the finest in the capital." Jia Wenwu replied, "Indeed, that is indeed true. Look at the deer swimming about, the white birds singing, the female pheasant in the green hills, and the leaping fish. What other garden could compare to this? I imagine that when it was being built, it was sure to attract the attention of the common people, and it will be completed in no time. But if the people are willing to perish with it, even with its terraces, ponds, birds, and beasts, how can one enjoy it alone?" He then turned to his family and said, "Although this is not a trap set in the house, if any of you kill the deer, it will be as serious as murder. I have the power to expose you in the marketplace and the court. Be warned, be warned." After admiring the garden for a while, they all went to sit in a study called Cai Xuan. Jia Wenwu said, “Ah, my Way is such that if one cannot attain it, one is not worthy of respect. It is not right to be unable to find pleasure in it, nor is it right to not share the joy with others. Now, you are sharing this feast with your friends; what is the worth of Zilu, who wears a light coat?” Before long, he brought out the finest fruits and preserved meats to accompany the wine, poured wine, and everyone ate heartily. As dusk approached, Jia Wenwu said, “Having drunk my fill, I am full and need no more. I will consider this as time will tell; I shall sing and return home.” Unable to persuade them to stay, they all took their leave. Before departing, Jia Wenwu looked at the three men and said, “Among three people walking together, there must be one who can teach me. Tomorrow, you will come to my house. Although I cannot treat you as a junior, I will show you the utmost respect, starting with three tripods and then five.” Huan E said, “I will certainly pay my respects tomorrow.”

The next day, Huan E and Tong Zida visited Jia Wenwu, and Wu He naturally accompanied them. Jia Wenwu invited them to stay for drinks, which were indeed sumptuous. During the drinking, Huan'e said to Tong Zida, "Let's go to your house to pay our respects tomorrow morning." Tong Zida blushed and remained silent for a while before replying, "My family is homeless, so I can only bring some things, which I'm afraid won't be to our liking. I dare not trouble you with the visit; let's invite you another day." [Tong Zida was wicked; he could even lie. A neighbor asked, "Is your master hosting a dinner party today? Why did you buy so many things?" His servant replied, "My master would only host a dinner party in the next life." The master was furious upon hearing this and scolded, "I simply don't invite you; how could you promise him a date?" Tong Zida actually agreed to the invitation, which was quite generous.] Huan'e, being a young master, saw his behavior and knew he was stingy. He smiled and said, "There's no reason not to pay our respects." He said to Jia Wenwu, "Tomorrow we'll go to Brother Tong's house to pay our respects, and after that, we'll all come to my house. I'll treat you on Brother Tong's behalf." The next day, everyone went to his house to pay their respects, and Huan'e invited them to his home for a feast. They visited each other frequently and drank together for several days. Tong Zida, feeling he couldn't bear it any longer, invited them to his home. They ate six bowls of dishes, including meat and vegetables, followed by three cups of wine and a simple meal. Wu He had been enjoying himself for days, not even returning home at night. Since Ying Shi had been captured and there were people at home, he felt at ease leaving outside, so there was no need for further conversation.

A few days later, they gathered again at Huan E's house for drinks. Huan E said to everyone, “Although we drink and eat meat every day, it’s not really intimate. We need to become sworn brothers to feel closer. What do you think, Second Brother?” Wu He chimed in, “The eldest brother is truly learned and insightful. Remember the oath of brotherhood between Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei in the Peach Garden? It’s been famous for a thousand years. Now that the three of you have become sworn brothers, it will surely be passed down.” Jia Wenwu clapped his hands and said, “Wonderful! Brothers should be close and harmonious. If Second Brother were to die young, Second Sister-in-law could manage the household for me. Wouldn’t that be better than a man of Qi having a wife and concubine?” Tong Zida said, “If we’re going to become sworn brothers, I’ll be the third brother. Otherwise, I won’t come.” Jia Wenwu asked, “Why do you say that, sir?” Tong Zida said, “If we’re talking about the current situation, you, sir, have both power and profit, so you should be the eldest brother. Brother Jia has power, so he should be the second brother. I have profit, so I should be the third. This is a great principle that has been around since ancient times.” [Where did he learn this great principle?] Jia Wenwu said, “In the court, nothing is more important than rank; in the village, nothing is more important than seniority. The order of rank bestowed upon you, sir, remains unchanged in this world. As for you, brother, you are my brother; why should you fear me? A gentleman loves others with virtue; why should you be subordinate to your younger brother? Moreover, a gentleman dislikes being in a lowly position; you should emulate a gentleman and strive for higher positions.” Tong Zida said, “There’s another saying. In Nanjing, it’s a custom that when sworn brothers become sworn brothers, the older brothers don’t contribute money. That’s why I want to take advantage of this. [This is his grand reasoning.] This is the truth. If you don’t agree, then we’ll disband the Peach Garden.” Jia Wenwu said, “Brother, you don’t contribute a single penny; is living and acting simply too simplistic?” Huan E said, “Very well. Since he says so, don’t force him; just call him the third brother.” Wu He said, “The three gentlemen…” "Swearing brotherhood is a momentous affair, requiring the sacrifice of oxen and horses, blood sacrifice, and a written oath to heaven, earth, and spirits." Tong Zida said, "Why waste so much money? Let's buy half a jin of liquor, get a rooster and drip some blood. We can all drink some raw chicken blood wine and have a good time. Why make such a fuss?" Huan E said, "How can this be? [These two words are excellent. They perfectly capture his literary ignorance.] We officials must always maintain our official airs when we do things, otherwise it's not proper. [Tong Zida's official airs are definitely stinky, and Jia Wenwu's official airs are definitely sour. I wonder what his official airs taste like?] Will chicken blood work? Oxen and horses are unnecessary, but pigs and sheep are a must." He then called his servant Huan Tian over and ordered him to prepare the gifts. He thought to himself, everything else is easy, but where can I find someone to write this oath? After hesitating for a long time, Tong Zida suddenly laughed and said, "Young master, you're really looking for a donkey while riding one. Even with a talented man like Brother Jia, [but you should know that Brother Jia is just a donkey, not a talented man.] what's a single oath worth? Why go looking for someone else?" Huan E happily said, "Thank goodness you thought of that! I had completely forgotten. Brother Jia, hurry up and write your oath; we must become sworn brothers today." [What a foolish young master!]

Just as Jia Wenwu was speaking happily, he suddenly heard that he was to write an oath on the spot. [When two people are in a dispute, the one in the wrong will be punished.] He said, "I am a student, but the official does not know if I am." He replied, "If you say you are a student, write an essay to prove it." The man said, "A student's crime is not so grave." Jia Wenwu should also say, "My crime is not so grave." As if struck by lightning, he blushed deeply and said, "Brother, you are mistaken. The gods are present, and the worship is as if the gods are present. It is dusk now; how can this be the time for an alliance? Moreover, one must fast and bathe before offering prayers to the Supreme God. If you wish to pray to the gods above and below, please postpone it until tomorrow." Huan E said, "That is true. Brother, go back to your residence tonight and write it down. Come to my house tomorrow morning to form the Fei Garden Three Sworn Brothers Alliance. Don't be late." The two agreed, drank some more wine, and then took their leave. When Jia Wenwu arrived home, he hurriedly instructed his servant as soon as he got out of his sedan chair, "Quickly go and invite Mr. Gan here; I have important things to say. If he is not home, wait for him as soon as possible." The servant ran off. He went to his study and hurriedly ordered his servant to set out paper, ink, brush, and inkstone, and also instructed someone to buy yellow paper. He ordered a pot of fine tea to be brewed and placed on the table, and also ordered wine and fruit to be prepared for service. Before long, Gan Sheng arrived.

Who was this Gan Sheng? He was a well-known figure in the academy, named Yi Bujiao. He had a refined appearance, a slightly reddish nose, and a few wisps of mustache, and appeared to be over twenty years old. His father was also a famous scholar, a classmate of Zhong Qu, and they were like family. The two were betrothed in childhood; later, Gan Yi was born into the Gan family, and a daughter was born into the Zhong family, and they were betrothed when she was a month old. When Gan Sheng was eight years old, his father died, leaving only his widowed mother. A few years later, his mother also passed away. After completing the mourning period, he entered school at the age of twenty. He was naturally unrestrained and devoted himself solely to poetry and wine. He also enjoyed making friends, so his family gradually declined. He was a scholar with no other means of livelihood, and spent his life in poverty. At that time, there was an instructor in the prefectural school named Guang Wensi [Does the reader remember this person? He was a fellow student of the society to whom Tong Zihong had given gold]. He admired Gansheng's character and talent, and they were very close.

One day, he sent an old doorman [The old doorman has some basis in history. In "The Peony Pavilion," it says: "The doorman in the school is old and shrewd"] to invite him to speak. Gansheng, seeing that the school teacher had come to invite him, went to the doorman's house to meet him. Instructor Guang offered him a seat and said, “I know you have been struggling financially these past few years, but my salary at the Zhantang Academy is meager, and I am unable to help you. I feel very apologetic. Yesterday, Governor Li invited me to visit and asked me to find a tutor. I humbly wish to recommend you. I know you are unrestrained and unconventional, and I fear you would disdain such a task. But as the sage said, ‘In poverty and lowliness, one should act accordingly; a gentleman is content in any situation.’ Moreover, setting up a tutor is something a scholar should do. I wonder what you think? Would you be willing to take the position? If so, I will recommend you.” Gan Sheng, being from a poor family and having nothing to do, and also grateful for his teacher’s kind offer, said, “Since you are so kind, how could I not obey?” Instructor Guang was delighted that he was willing to go. He called for a pot of wine and ordered two small dishes from inside. One was a bowl of stir-fried alfalfa, and the other a dish of pickled leeks. [Although this describes Guang Sheng’s poverty, it ultimately reflects the stinginess of the people of Huizhou.] The two drank together, [but the ancients were different; they were more considerate. Nowadays, those seeking recommendations for schools need a formal gift. Instructor Guang even spent his own money to buy wine for Gan Sheng, something that would be difficult to do today.] They talked for half a day about the recent monthly lessons before Gan Sheng took his leave and returned home.

You ask where this Commander Li, whom you're inviting to consult, is from? What is his background? His ancestral home is Datong Prefecture, Shanxi Province. [Datong people, wonderful. It implies that most people hiring tutors today are from the same region.] His family has been soldiers for generations. His father was named Li Zhifu. [His father was named Li Zhifu, so his mother must have been surnamed Li.] His mother died early. His wife was surnamed Hua. [Many wives have similar surnames.] She was also a local gentry soldier's beloved wife. He has four sons and seven or eight grandsons. His given name is Tai; when he was on the payroll, his original name was Li Da. He is illiterate and extremely uncouth. He knows absolutely nothing about etiquette or manners. When he went with his commander to suppress the rebels, he was brave, courageous, and incredibly strong. He was lucky. [Su Dongpo said, "I only wish my son were foolish and uncouth, so he could reach high office without disaster or hardship." This refers to Li Tai. If one is born with good fortune, what use is literacy?] He was sent to defend against the enemy, and none could withstand him. He was sent to attack cities, and none could be conquered. He was not some hero of unparalleled bravery or strength, but his official rank was destined, and opportunities would come his way.

One day, he was fighting alongside bandits with his commander. His horse was shot in the ear by a bandit's spear and suddenly reared up, out of control. Li Da whipped it several times, and the horse, enraged, charged straight into the enemy ranks. He panicked, fearing the bandits would kill him. He raised his sword and began hacking and slashing wildly. Firstly, as the old saying goes, "One man fighting desperately is no match for ten thousand." Secondly, the bandits, caught off guard by his charge, were thrown into disarray. The soldiers, unaware that his horse had frightened, assumed he was bravely charging. Seeing the bandits in disarray, who wouldn't want to kill them and gain merit? Everyone shouted and charged forward with all their might. The bandits were utterly defeated and almost all were killed. When rewards were distributed, he alone received the greatest merit.

Another day, a messenger arrived with news that bandits had seized Weizhou. The commander-in-chief dispatched troops to its rescue overnight, and he went with them. Upon arriving at the city, the bandits held their ground firmly. After several days of attack, they could not breach the city walls. The commander-in-chief was furious and ordered the construction of siege ladders, commanding the soldiers to climb the walls. Luckily, he was bold enough to start climbing. The others followed. Not far from the battlements, a bandit on the wall thrust a spear. He was looking up and dodged it in an instant. His right hand gripped the ladder, and his left hand seized the spear shaft. If the bandit had pushed him down, he would have been seriously injured, if not killed. But by sheer luck, the bandit pulled him up instead, and he seized the opportunity to leap onto the wall. He swung his right wrist and swiftly chopped the bandit down with a single blow, then proceeded to hack and slash. The bandits, seeing someone climb the wall, were already panicked. Seeing others filing up behind them, they shouted and fled for their lives. He and his men broke open the city gate and let the government troops into the city. The bandits were either killed or fled. He was the first to achieve merit in capturing the city. Such a fortunate turn of events cannot be fully recounted. Because of his repeated military achievements, he gradually rose through the ranks, eventually becoming a deputy commander.

He had a brother-in-law named Hua Ji (meaning "humorous"). Although his father was also a soldier, he was literate and worked as a clerk in the government office. Hua Ji had also read a few books and was quite intelligent. When Li Da became a deputy commander, the office became busy, and he couldn't bear to spend money on advisors, so he asked his brother-in-law to handle the paperwork and allocated him some horse rations. Later, Li Da was promoted to Assistant Commander of the Nanjing Rear Army Command and went to his post alone, leaving his father, wife, daughter-in-law, and grandchildren in his hometown. While serving as a deputy commander, he also took four or five concubines, and before leaving, he repeatedly asked Hua Shi to take good care of them. "Be very careful, don't let them cause any trouble. After I arrive at my post, I'll find a place to live and then slowly come to fetch you." Hua Shi agreed, and he still took his brother-in-law and a dozen or so family members with him. He went to Nanjing to take up his post, which need not be detailed.

At this time, his name was still Li Da. Because he was the eldest son, his four sons were named Li Er, Li San, Li Si, and Li Wu. One day, a jester advised him, "Now that you've become a governor, a high-ranking official, your name is quite inelegant. You should change it." Li Da replied, "I've had this name since I was born. Now that I'm such a high-ranking official, what's wrong with it?" The jester said, "This 'Da' isn't a name. Because you're the eldest son, you're called Da. You haven't changed it since you joined the army. Now that you've achieved such a high position, aren't you afraid people will laugh at you?" Li Da replied, "I'm very familiar with the character 'Da.' If I change it, not only will others not recognize me, but I won't recognize myself either." [His strange talk is laughable. But who in this world recognizes me?] The old man thought for a moment, then chuckled and wrote a large character with a dot inside, asking, "Do you recognize this character? Let's change it to this." Li Dadao replied, "I once saw a character with a dot underneath. I asked the clerk, and they said the character above was a Bodhisattva, and the dot below was that character. So you want me to change it to Li Dada?" [The old man said: This explanation is quite accurate. The character "太" originally consisted of two dots under the character "大". In seal script, it is written as 夳, which is called a double seal script. Who says this old soldier is illiterate?] Suddenly, he burst into laughter and cursed, "You mule-like rascal, you're playing with me and cursing me, even cursing your sister!" The comical man said, "I was just trying to help you change your name, how is that cursing you? And you're cursing me instead." He laughed, "The other day I sent some soldiers to fish in the back lake, but they didn't catch any fish, only a lot of turtles. They submitted a report saying there were big and small turtles, and the character for 'big' has a dot at the bottom. You're calling me a big turtle, and you're cursing your sister too!" The comical man said, "That's not it. The dot is at the bottom, it's inside." He added, "Since it's not 'big,' the character for 'big' has something hanging from its crotch, so 'big' would be 'big ball.'" [A strange idea, yet he could even call it "big ball."] The man chuckled and said, "This is the character 'Tai,' the same character people use to address someone as 'Grandpa' or 'Grandma.' I'm afraid you might not recognize other characters, but 'Tai' is easier for you to recognize. Although it's not the best, it sounds more like a name than 'Da.'" He laughed loudly, "Very good. My name is Li Tai, and your sister is called Li Tai. She's a little older than me, and I'm a bit afraid of her. Just tell everyone in the yamen that my name is Li Tai." The man chuckled and said, "How can you tell people that? You're an official now; changing your name requires a petition. Once it's approved, there will be copies sent everywhere, and everyone will know. Why do you need to tell people?" Li Tai complied, submitted a petition, and after approval, she changed her name to her current one.

One day, Mrs. Li said to the comical man, "Thinking about it carefully these past few days, you were just trying to coax me into changing my name. You were clearly using me to flatter your sister." The comical man didn't understand and said, "I don't understand what you mean." Mrs. Li said, "Your sister is my wife, yet she's called Mrs. Li, while I'm called Mrs. Li. It's obvious your sister is like me, putting on my 'henpecked' persona. Isn't that you using me to flatter your sister? And another thing, when people call your sister Mrs. Li, they're actually calling my name twice." The comical man said, "How absurd! The characters are the same, but there are two different interpretations!" "Originally, the character '泰' from '丕极泰来' should have been used, because the character '太' is easy to recognize, and borrowing the sound of '泰' is excellent; you don't need to doubt it. If someone calls me 'Sister Li's Wife and calls you by your name twice, then they are still calling me 'Sister.' Before you changed your name, when people called you 'Master Li,' were they calling you by your name?" He thought for a while and said, "You're good with words; I can't argue with you. Ultimately, I don't trust you. It's a pity I rashly submitted my petition the other day; otherwise, my name '大' would have been better. Now that I'm a high-ranking official, my name should naturally be '大' (big)." [The more he thought about it, the stranger it seemed. Could it be that when you were in a lower position, your name was Li Xiao?] The man said comically, “Not only should your name be changed, but your four nephews’ names should be changed too. What kind of father is named Li Da, and his sons are ranked second, third, fourth, and fifth? I’ll change their names for them too. Yue Fei once said that in the art of war, wisdom, trustworthiness, benevolence, courage, and strictness are indispensable. The concepts of Li and strictness already existed in the Three Kingdoms period. Besides, you only have four sons, so let’s remove wisdom, trustworthiness, benevolence, and courage from their names. You are a military general, so it’s perfectly in line with the principles.” He said, “You’re just spouting nonsense. Where did you even meet this Yue Fei? Did you hear what he said? I still listen to you now, but I don’t even know what wisdom and trustworthiness are. Besides, I just submitted a petition to change my name, and now I’m submitting another petition for the kids. It’s all so noisy.” The man said comically, “You’re an official, so you have to submit petitions. What are they going to submit?” Li Tai said, “Since that’s the case, it’s good to change them. They are all young masters now. If they’re just called Li Er and Li San…” It really doesn't sound good. I was reviewing the troops the other day, and there were so many names like that. I was initially puzzled, wondering why my own child was now a soldier, but upon closer inspection, it wasn't. I also felt it wasn't good, [Li Taizheng's name is ridiculous, he couldn't help but laugh again.] I was afraid it would be submitted to the authorities again, so I gave up. Since it's not much trouble, I'll change it for them. But I'm used to calling them by those two, three, four, and five characters, and I absolutely can't get rid of them. Just add one "qi" character to each of them. I've heard people say that in life, it's good to have a wife, wealth, children, prosperity, and longevity. They already have wives, so let's not use the "wife" character anymore, let's call them Li Ercai, Li Sanzi, Li Silu, and Li Wushou. Don't you think these characters are strange? [Truly strange, what a clever idea.] And they're clear and easy to understand, why not force those characters you made up? "Jia Hua saw that he was ridiculously confused, so he didn't argue with him and let him change it himself.

Some time later, he had a humorous man write a letter home to his father, telling him that houses in Nanjing were very expensive and he hadn't bought one yet, so he was temporarily staying at the government office. He said he would come back to move his family in once he bought a house. He also wrote in detail about changing his name and adding names to his sons' names. He sent a head steward named Li Deyong back. Two months later, Li Deyong returned, bringing his master's letter. He inquired about the well-being of everyone at home and was very pleased. He told his servants, "Quickly, invite your uncle to read it." The servants said, "Your uncle has gone to Yuhuatai to enjoy the scenery." Li Tai said, "What should we do? Well, let's have a clerk read it." A moment later, he called a clerk in. He opened the letter, handed it to him, and said, "This is a report that my master brought me; read it to me." The clerk took it, opened it, and dared not utter a sound. Li Tai said, "Why don't you read it? It was given to me by my master, not to you. Do you even know what you're doing?" The clerk replied, "It's not a family letter, how can a clerk read it?" He angrily retorted, "This was brought by my family, how can you say it's not? You bastard, I'll fuck your mother! You're a clerk, and you can't even read a simple report, what's the point of having you? What good are you?" He shouted, "Get him out of here, and call someone else!" The servant went and said, "The other clerks have all gone home for dinner, they're not here." The other clerks hadn't gone home, because this clerk told everyone, "It's not a family letter, it's a forgery by a primary school student, how can I read it? I got scolded for nothing." Hearing this, who would dare come in? So they all went to eat. Seeing that no one was reading it, Li Tai scolded the clown in frustration, "That blind fool! He should just stay home, why did he have to go out and cause trouble today?" She then ordered, "When your uncle returns, tell him to go upstairs." The servant agreed. But did you think the clerk really not know how to read a letter? Well, it turns out that Li Deyong had been drinking and whoring along the way, and somehow lost the letter. In his panic, thinking that his master was illiterate and completely ignorant, he went to a village school and asked the teacher for a student's copy, then sealed it to fool his master. The clerk, though unaware of these practices, saw the writing and suspected something was amiss, but dared not reveal it, fearing he would offend the steward who carried the books and suffer a scolding.

In the afternoon, the clown returned, and Li Deyong, fearing he would be exposed, repeatedly begged him to cover it up. The clown, because he was his brother-in-law's steward and they were usually very close, readily agreed. Upon arriving at the main room, Li Tai said, "I've been waiting for you for half a day. My master brought a petition, but the clerk doesn't recognize it. Read it to me." He took it with a comical smile and read: "

Your Excellency, I am Yiji. Three thousand, seventy scholars. You, my humble student, are eight or nine. A fine work of benevolence, you know propriety. Student Li Bin practices calligraphy.

" After reading it, he looked displeased and said, "A petition between father and son, written clearly and easily understood. What kind of literary language is this? I don't understand a word." He asked Li Deyong, "Your Excellency's talent was not much greater than mine back then, why are you so literary now? Are you old and need to go back to school?" Li Deyong, fearing he might notice, broke out in a cold sweat. Seeing him ask this question, he was secretly pleased and quickly knelt down to report, "Although Master Li has never been to school, because of your high official rank, you have recently been associating with these local gentry and scholars, presumably lecturing and discussing matters." [The old man said: Such an interesting remark is good.] Li Tai shook his head and said, "Just lecturing with scholars, how could that elevate you to such a position? You're truly a pedantic scholar, all pedantic and pretentious. Perhaps you've been annoyed by some ignorant genius." [Ignorant genius, how strange.] Then he said to the comic, "Do you understand? If you do, tell me in detail, and I'll have the purchasing agent bring you some strong liquor and a cowherd." The comic laughed and said, "Listen to me, the first sentence is 'Sir,' meaning you've become a high-ranking official. 'Sir,' it's a greeting to you." Li Tai was delighted and said, "I understand, I understand, well said." The comic continued, "So-and-so, 'So-and-so' is my courtesy name. Don't you see in plays they all refer to themselves as 'So-and-so'? This 'So-and-so' is how the master addresses himself. It means that while you're in office, only 'So-and-so' is at home." Li Tai said, "I understand even more now." The comic then recited, "Three thousand, seventy scholars. The master has three..." "A thousand words are meant for you, seventy of which are about things." Li Tai said, "My grandfather, you're getting old, just relax. There are so many things! It's amazing he remembers." The comical man stopped reading, and Li Tai said, "Why did you stop after these few lines?" The comical man chuckled and teased him, "I was afraid you'd get angry if I told you." Li Tai said, "That's just nonsense. These are the words my father and I used to exchange. You're just telling me, what have you said that offended me? If I get angry, I'll only be angry with my father. You're not my father, why would I be angry with you?" [Even someone who is completely ignorant can be amusing. He has many witty remarks, but these few are utterly incomprehensible and laughable. Only someone like him could say such things.] The comical man read aloud, "You have eight or nine sons, 'you' is the same as 'you' in Chinese. It means your wives have given birth to eight or nine sons." Mrs. Li was shocked and said, "I wasn't home, where did these children come from?" The comical man replied, "It's clearly written in the book, 'Jia Zuo Ren,' meaning they were made in the house." Mrs. Li angrily said, "Your sister isn't even born of a mother! I repeatedly entrusted her with their care before I left, how could they have made these children? I don't think anyone else would dare, could it be something my old man did without any shame?" The comical man laughed, "You're quite clever, that's why it says 'You know propriety' at the end. If you guessed this, then you are indeed polite." Mrs. Li was furious, snatched the book, and tore it to shreds. [Mrs. Li was furious, and the reader burst into laughter. This letter is truly a masterpiece of family correspondence throughout the ages. Those who laugh upon seeing this must be like Mrs. Li.] Her face flushed, her neck red, she lowered her head, speechless. After a while, he suddenly asked, "What's the rest of the story about Li Bin learning calligraphy?" The clown replied, "He said 'student Li Bin,' which is a polite way for a father to address his son as 'student.' Since you've become a high-ranking official, it's awkward to call you by your name, and it's also inappropriate to call you 'Master.' Since you were a soldier, we'll call you 'Soldier Li.' 'Learning calligraphy' is how a father-in-law addresses his wife, who is now my sister. It means 'my wife doesn't write separately anymore, it's the same as this letter,' so he said, 'Student Li Bin learning calligraphy.'" After finishing, the clown couldn't help but burst into laughter, saying, "Quickly, send someone to buy wine and beef to invite me." Li Tai said, "Big beef, who knows what those little women's tummy are like now, and you still want beef?" The clown laughed and left. Li Deyong thanked him profusely, hurriedly bought many delicacies, and purchased a bottle of fine wine to offer as a tribute.

Meanwhile, Li Tai, filled with anger and resentment, couldn't sleep all night. The next day, he sent Li Deyong with four or five servants to fetch Madam Hua, along with her concubines, son, daughter-in-law, and grandson, to the capital, but not to fetch the old man, nor to write a letter home. When the servants arrived home, Li Zhifu, hearing that his son had come to fetch the family but not him, asked them why. Although some servants knew, they were all afraid of Li Deyong and dared not speak, only saying they did not know. Li Zhifu cursed twice, then laughed, "I know this servant's heart now. He's a high official now, and he says I was originally a soldier, so he's afraid I'll disgrace him, that's why he didn't come to fetch me. He didn't even send a letter to inquire about my well-being, what a beast, what a beast!" Madam Hua had been an official for many years, and as the saying goes, long-term officials become wealthy. She owned many fields and tenancies, more than enough for Li Zhifu's needs, so he stayed at home, not caring whether his daughter-in-law and grandson went or not. Before leaving, Madam Hua took everyone to her father-in-law's place to say goodbye. The old man didn't say much, only saying, "Tell that servant to stay away from home and die there, and never come back to see me." Seeing that her father-in-law was angry, Madam Hua didn't know what the matter was, so she got up and left.

They traveled in silence until they arrived in Nanjing, where the couple and their son were reunited. When Mrs. Li saw her concubines, she stared at them with wide eyes, gritting her teeth, but remained silent. That night, the couple had a welcoming feast before going to bed. Mrs. Li complained to Mrs. Hua, "I entrusted you with managing these concubines before I left, to prevent them from causing trouble, and you kept your word. How come they've had eight or nine children in just the last year or two?" Mrs. Hua exclaimed in surprise, "You've heard such nonsense! What are you saying?" Mrs. Li replied, "You're lying to me. It was my shameless old man who brought the letter. He said it was him who was doing this, which is why I didn't take him in." Mrs. Hua had been angry when she saw her husband marry these concubines. But she was a soldier's daughter from a humble background. Now, seeing her husband become a high-ranking official, bringing these concubines with him as wives, enjoying wealth and luxury, adorned with gold and silver, and served by servants, she felt a certain snobbishness and dared not speak out. Hearing his words, though she didn't understand the details, she knew he had misheard and realized why she hadn't accepted her father-in-law's offer. So she used his words as a pretext to reply: "Who told you to bring these sluts here? [First, she blames her husband.] If I had tried to stop you then, it would have been like me being jealous, so I had to let you do as you pleased. [Next, she shows her own virtue.] You entrusted me to take care of them, but I could only manage their bodies, not their hearts. There's no reason to seal off those filthy things forever. [Then, she blames the concubines for their shamelessness.] Besides, it was your father who did it; how could I, a daughter-in-law, manage them? You only have yourself to blame, why are you blaming me?" [Ultimately, she wasn't blaming her father-in-law, and she made it clear that she had no choice. This woman is truly cunning, not just because of her surname.] Li Tai angrily said, "Tomorrow I'll kill all these harlots to vent my anger." Hua Shi knew he had misheard, so she fabricated these words to provoke him into sending away the concubines so he could enjoy himself alone. Suddenly hearing him say he wanted to kill, fearing that his rough and unruly nature might harm innocent people, [she was quite a virtuous woman.] she hurriedly said, "It's a wonder you hold such an official position; don't you even know the law? People aren't so easily killed. You've been keeping lovers, but you haven't caught them. If you kill them and someone finds out, you'll not only lose your position but also your life. Even if you didn't get this position, no one knows about this shameful affair. If you kill these scoundrels for no reason, aren't you just asking for a cuckold's horns? Just send them out and marry them off; out of sight, out of mind." Li Tai was naturally crude and foolish, while Hua Shi was clever and cunning. Li Tai was always under her control, and she was somewhat afraid of him, so she readily listened to him.

The next morning, without saying anything else, she summoned several soldiers without wives from the yamen, immediately drove away several concubines, [the old man said: "A great act of virtue."] and married each of them off. [Now she was free.] These concubines, for reasons unknown, thought their master had released the birds from their cages, granting them a monogamous marriage, and were overjoyed and grateful. The comical one secretly asked his sister why, and Lady Hua told him in detail how Li had been misled. The comical one couldn't help but laugh, and also told his sister about the fake book and the joke he'd made with him, saying with a smile, "Who would have thought this simpleton would make it so real?" Lady Hua then understood the whole story and was deeply grateful to her brother and Li for being so useful.

One day, Li Tai called her sons to her side and said, “I often hear people talk about families with both literary and military backgrounds. My lineage dates back seven or eight generations to my grandfather, who was a soldier. Now that I’ve become such a high-ranking military officer, this family’s military background is undeniable. I see you’re all grown up, unable to hold a pen or draw a bow. As the saying goes, ‘You found a gun in a ditch, but you can’t smell it or wield it.’ [Incapable of both literary and military skills, there are many like this, not just Li Tai’s sons.] Now I’m going to hire a tutor to teach my grandsons a few words, and then we’ll truly be a family with both literary and military backgrounds. [What a wonderful idea, truly a family with both literary and military backgrounds!] The other day, my grandfather brought that petition, but your uncle wasn’t home, and the clerk he called couldn’t read it either. It was quite a predicament. If my grandsons could read a few words later, why would we need to ask others for help?” Seeing their father say this, the sons dared not dampen his enthusiasm. Therefore, Mr. Li invited Instructor Guang to come and ask him to find a good tutor for Datong. Instructor Guang, thinking of Qianxing's impoverished circumstances and his long-standing friendship with him, wanted to recommend him. After confirming that Qianxing was willing to go, he personally came to Mr. Li's house and said that a tutor had been found, a renowned scholar, and asked when he would start teaching. Mr. Li said, "Let's discuss it first. It will only be one tael of silver a month, [which is considered a good school these days]. He will have to eat at home himself." [This has become quite common lately.] Instructor Guang laughed, "The amount of tuition is not important. With a family like yours, how can a teacher possibly go home for meals? If he lives nearby, it's fine, but if he lives far away, he'll be home twice a day for meals, which will be too late for him to study." He thought for a moment, then frowned and counted on his fingers, saying, "Providing him with meals would only cost five cents a day, but that would be eighteen taels a year, more than his wages. That's less money for a horse and more for a saddle; it won't work." Instructor Guang said, "I don't complain about the food for students; even ordinary meals are fine, as long as they are clean and seasonal." Li Tai said, "If that's the case, two meals a day, even ordinary meals, are fine. We can only have a treat with some meat on the first and fifteenth of the month; there won't be any on ordinary days." "His life is so abundant and respectful." As for snacks and wine, he bought them himself. "Old Instructor," [a strange title. He probably heard people call him "Instructor," so he shortened the title by two words. What a clever man.] "You explained it to him and called him over. I still want to test him personally to see if he is indeed a capable person." Instructor Guang said, "How can I accept such a formality? I should send someone to invite him."

He took his leave and went to Gansheng's house in person, saying to him, "Although the school understands, the salary is too meager. Please bear with it for a year, consider it as borrowing the school to study. Even if the provisions are insufficient, it will save you the trouble of worrying about your salary. Would you be willing to go?" Gansheng saw his teacher's earnestness and thought that although he was a military officer, he was already a high-ranking official and must know some manners, so he agreed. Instructor Guang also replied to Li Tai, asking him to send someone with a letter to invite him. Li Tai said, "Hiring him to teach isn't like inviting him to drinks, why use a visiting card? [Li Tai's words have some insight; I only know today that visiting cards are used to invite people to drinks.] Let someone speak for you." Instructor Guang, seeing his vulgarity, didn't argue with him and ordered the gatekeeper to bring the yamen runner to Gan Sheng's house to invite him. Gan Sheng, seeing there was no visiting card, although inwardly resenting his rudeness, had to go out of respect for his teacher. Upon arriving at the back hall, he saw him sitting motionless on a tiger-skin chair in the center. His appearance was utterly ridiculous. A few lines described his revelry: "His

appearance is sloppy and his face ferocious. His words are vulgar, devoid of any refinement. His heart is like a stubborn rock, without a single flaw; his belly is filled with a thick, sticky substance. He sits high on a high cushion, yet he is a former soldier. Alas, indeed, a monkey in a crown; truly, a beast in human form."

Gan Sheng initially wanted to exchange pleasantries with him, but seeing his foolish, ox-like appearance, he was filled with annoyance and didn't even bother to bow. Seeing a few chairs nearby, he sat down arrogantly. The man asked, "Are you the teacher?" Gan Sheng replied indignantly, "Indeed." The man said, "A teacher like mine needs to be able to lecture. Can you lecture?" Gan Sheng was both annoyed and amused, saying, "What can't a scholar like me lecture about? [These days, teachers are quite different.] What do you want to lecture about?" The man said, "I don't know much else, but I know a couple of lines from the *Hundred Family Surnames*. Tell me about it." Gan Sheng laughed, "Do you want me to lecture line by line, or word by word?" The man said, "Naturally, I'll explain it word by word so it's clearer." Gan Sheng laughed and said, "Listen to me, the *Hundred Family Surnames*, Zhao, Qian, Sun, Li, was written by people in the Song Dynasty. The emperor of the Song Dynasty was surnamed Zhao, so Zhao was the first character." "Besides the emperor, the richest person in the world is the greatest, so money is the second greatest. Who do you think this 'Sun' refers to? It's the Monkey King, Sun Wukong, who wreaked havoc in the Heavenly Palace. But because we have to give way to the emperor and the rich, we have no choice but to put him third." Gan Sheng laughed loudly again: "This 'Li' refers to you. Besides these three, is there anyone as great as you? That's why I put you fourth." [A Hainan gentleman said in his commentary on the chapter "Confucius said: I wish to remain silent": "The Master said: 'I will not say "she' (舍).' Zigong said: 'The Master does not say "she," but asks us to say "she"?' The Master said: 'Does Heaven say "she"? Spring, summer, autumn, and winter pass by, and the days of onions, leeks, celery, and garlic pass by. Has Heaven ever said "she"?'" I thought this explanation was unparalleled throughout the ages, but I did not expect Gan Sheng's explanation of the "Hundred Family Surnames" to be even more wonderful and superior.] Li Tai was overjoyed and laughed loudly, "Well said, well said! This is called 'three drumbeats on the platform,' all done!" [This lecture was not only praised by Li Tai, but I also agree.] Gan Sheng laughed again, "This lecture is not surprising; I can also lecture backwards." Li Tai was even more delighted and said, "Although I am so old, I have never heard a lecture told backwards. Please tell me again." Gan Sheng laughed, "If you, surnamed Li, wear a few monkey skins and have some money, you're practically an emperor, no matter where you turn the tables." Hearing this, he leaned back in his chair and laughed heartily, saying, "Good sir, good sir, this is a true talent, very reasonable indeed." [He was not flattering him.] Looking around at his family, he asked, "Am I really that old? Is what you said true, sir?" Everyone replied, "You are absolutely right, sir." He smiled and said to the young man, "I haven't read any books. How would I know what it means to have the surnames Zhao, Qian, Sun, and Li in the 'Hundred Family Surnames'? When I was following the commander, there were reports of bandits invading the border. The commander sent a garrison commander Zhou and a lieutenant commander Wu to suppress them. They went for some time but didn't report back. That night, the commander had a dream in which a plum tree grew in front of the stove. The next day, he asked someone to interpret the dream. A senior official in his office, surnamed Zou, said, 'This dream is somewhat ominous; it likely relates to the actions of garrison commander Zhou and lieutenant commander Wu.'" On his body. 'The commander asked him how he knew. Master Zou said, 'Heavenly secrets cannot be revealed in advance; let's talk about it after the event has occurred.' Two days later, a scout reported that Commander Zhou and Captain Wu had been killed by bandits. The commander asked Master Zou how the dream from the previous day had foretold their deaths. Master Zou said that those who read a lot of books know everything. The Hundred Family Surnames says that plums grow before the stove, and Zhou and Wu died in battle, so he knew beforehand. [In this world, those who are good at making things up are the ones who succeed.] I heard it and kept it in mind. Today I tested you, but who knew you would explain it even better than him? You are truly a master.' He hurriedly ordered his family to clean two rooms next to the stables to make a school. [Fortunately, the teacher is knowledgeable, so it was next to the stables. If it were less so, it would definitely be in the east wing.] Seven or eight students, big and small, came to pay their respects to the teacher. Not only were there no gifts, but there wasn't even wine to enter the school. [Recently, this has become a precedent, but only two or three out of ten actually follow it.] Gan Sheng knew he was a man who lacked manners, so he didn't argue with him.

After a few days, the three or four younger students were somewhat fearful, but their parents spoiled them rotten. Every now and then, someone would come and say, "The children are young, don't restrain them too much, let them go out and wander around." Gan Sheng, seeing that the master had come, had no choice but to comply. They would go out for a while and then come back, but after sitting for less than half an hour, they would come again and say, "I'm afraid the children are hungry, let them come in and have some snacks." All day long, they came and went like a revolving lantern. As for these university students, they were extremely unruly. One of them, the eldest, was named Li Sun, the son of Li Sanzi. [Li Sanzi's son is naturally Li Sun, a wonderful description.] He was even more unruly and cunning, [There were many such students.] Among them, he alone was beaten more often. His parents sent someone to say that all the students were the same, and if the teacher wanted to beat them, he should beat them all together. [Strange tale. I've only ever heard of prisoners being tied up, never students being beaten.] Why was he so biased in beating his son? [Few sons of officials achieve anything; are all the wealthy starving? It's all due to excessive indulgence.] Hearing this, Gan Sheng was filled with anger but couldn't express it, so he beat them even harder. These students couldn't memorize their lessons or write characters all day long, which was secondary. Gan Sheng would just look down at his books, and two of the older students would disappear. He'd send people to find them, and after beating each of them a few times, before he'd finished, the other two would vanish again. When they were finally brought back, before he could even finish beating them, the two who had been crying had disappeared again. He had no choice but to make them kneel as punishment, and they'd lie that they needed to relieve themselves. Gan Sheng believed them, and besides, there was no reason for them to urinate in their pants, so he let them go. The others had run off to play somewhere. [Only those who have been teachers from ignorant official families can understand the details.] Gan Sheng was completely exhausted every day. The food provided by his family was even more ridiculous. People from outside Shanxi don't eat glutinous rice; they have someone buy millet and buckwheat noodles from Shandong. Every meal consists of these two together, topped with lots of vinegar, or chopped pickled vegetables, and a handful of Sichuan peppercorns. It's neither porridge nor paste, but sour, salty, and spicy—inedible. Or, he makes a one-inch-thick flatbread from black wheat flour, hard as iron, impossible to chew. His family eats only pickled vegetable water and never drinks tea. How can he possibly get used to this? Getting tea is extremely difficult. The flatbread is also hard to swallow; when he's starving, he has no choice but to stretch his neck and swallow it dry. He can't complain about his diet, so he just holds his nose and eats it to fill his stomach. As the weather gets hotter, the horse manure in the neighboring stable stinks terribly. Large, red-headed, golden-green fly swarms everywhere, bumping against his head and face. At first, it was very unpleasant, but after a while, like entering a fish market, it became less pungent, and he endured it. But all they brought was a large bowl of piping hot buckwheat soup for each meal. The weather was so hot, how could anyone eat it? They left it on the table to cool slightly before eating it. Several large golden flies would swarm onto it, scalding it to a pulp in the bowl, their bellies overflowing with maggots. Unable to bear the nausea, they had to feed it to the dogs. When they asked for more, there was none left, so they had to endure the hunger, deeply regretting their hasty promise.

One day, a heavy rain fell, and the whole house leaked, water pouring down like a sieve. The students, incredibly clever, fearing their clothes would get wet, didn't wait for the teacher's instructions and ran off like soldiers, leaving their books scattered haphazardly across the table. Gan Sheng, worried they would get wet, collected them one by one. The rain stopped slightly, though it was drizzling outside, it was still pouring inside the schoolhouse. Water dripped everywhere, and there was nowhere to sit. Gan Sheng told someone to tell Li Ercai he needed to go home to take shelter from the rain and asked someone to take him home with an umbrella. Li Ercai instructed a sedan chair bearer to carry an umbrella to see him off. As Gan Sheng walked along the road, seeing the drizzling rain still falling, he casually recited : "

The fine drizzle is as soft as butter.

" The sedan chair bearer suddenly said, "Sir, you have a fine poem; let me add a line." Gan Sheng was surprised and said, "How can a sedan chair bearer like you compose poetry?" He laughed and said, "Was I born to be a sedan chair bearer? To tell you the truth, sir, I used to be a teacher. Because the Jiang family treated me very harshly, I took a fit of pique and thought: What can't one do in this world? Why suffer this? I'm an innocent prisoner, and my wife is a widow with a husband. Besides, the ancients said: 'Better to be a sedan chair bearer than a teacher.' [This man was quite adept at using classical allusions.] That's why I went to the governor's office to donate money to become the head sedan chair bearer." Gan Sheng laughed and said, "Since you can add a line, see me off." He recited aloud: "

The teacher holds an umbrella to see the teacher off. "

Gan Sheng exclaimed in surprise, “Your words don’t make sense to me. What do you mean by ‘fu shi’ (夫师) and ‘shi fu’ (师夫)? I’ve only ever heard people say ‘shifu’ (师傅), I’ve never seen these two strange words, ‘shi fu’ (师夫).” He laughed and said, “‘Fu shi’ (夫师) means that I am now a sedan chair carrier, but I was once a teacher, hence the title ‘fu shi’ (夫师). ‘Shi fu’ (师夫) means ‘shi fu’ (师夫), please don’t take offense, sir. Do you know that today’s teacher might not be tomorrow’s sedan chair carrier? [The old man said: This sedan chair carrier is truly insightful and worthy of being called a teacher.] Teacher and sedan chair carrier are the same person, and there is no difference between them. Not to brag, but I would say that you and I are even colleagues.” Gan Sheng laughed, "Although you used to be a teacher, today you're a sedan chair carrier. I'm his tutor; things are very different. We'll see who's better here." He laughed loudly, "In my opinion, although you're praising yourself, I'm no match for you: you'd lose in terms of wages." Gan Sheng asked, "How so?" He laughed, "I earn twelve taels of silver a year, plus three dan and six dou of rice. You only earn twelve taels, and you don't even have enough grain for your neighbors and fellow villagers. Aren't you inferior to me?" As they spoke, Gan Sheng arrived home. He said, "Sir, we were just joking; please don't take it to heart." He took his umbrella and left. Gan Sheng thought about what he had said and found it amusing.

Two days later, the weather cleared up, and Gan Sheng had no choice but to return to the school. Every day he would play pranks on these mischievous boys, sometimes angry, sometimes amused, saying, "These aren't students, they're a herd of wild oxen. I'm not their teacher, I'm their shepherd boy." Gan Sheng taught at their house for half a year, but Li Tai and his sons never even stepped into the school room, let alone sat with the teacher. Only the comical one, having some education and knowledge of humanities, often came to the school to sit and chat with the teacher, and they got along quite well. [Because of this connection, he later enjoyed a carefree life while serving Gan Sheng. (The last sentence is a separate, unrelated statement.)] One day, Gan Sheng, struck by a sudden thought, said to his students, “Your grandfather, though a soldier, has been in officialdom for a long time. It’s one thing if he doesn’t know other things, but surely he knows the five characters for ‘Heaven, Earth, Ruler, Parents, Teacher’? I am your family’s teacher, therefore I am your teacher. Your grandfather treats me with no manners whatsoever; what kind of logic is that?” [This is quite untrue; I often see people who are not from military backgrounds behaving this way.] When the students returned home for dinner, Li Sun told his grandfather what his teacher had said. Li Tai laughed, “This bookworm is so ignorant. He sees countless officials bowing and scraping before me, and I ignore them. Those commanders and officers of the garrisons don't even have a place to stand, let alone sit. He's just a poor scholar; I'm already showing him the utmost respect by letting him sit down. What does he want to argue about? [Strange talk.] Not only do these scholars not know official etiquette, but they also say I'm impolite. Besides, he's teaching my grandson, which is like my son for life. [Even more strange, an unprecedented statement.] How can I respect him? You should teach him this.” Li Sun repeated this to Gan Sheng at the academy. Gan Sheng laughed loudly, “Stupid ox, stupid ox! Luckily I'm teaching his grandson; if I were teaching his great-grandson, he'd treat me like his own grandson!” Gan Sheng was determined to resign and return home, but because Instructor Guang had entrusted him with this task, he earnestly advised him to end the year-long arrangement to maintain some semblance of dignity for both of them. He could only endure it, and sighed, "A great man cannot soar to great heights, forced to live a life of hardship, forced to endure the lowliness of such a lowly person. I see some who are proud to become tutors, what are their intentions?" [You Hun Gong and Bu Tong would naturally be proud in this situation.] He then casually wrote a poem in the style of "Wet Blue Robe," which read: "Wearing

a blue robe is the lowest of things, yet I boast to others. Imprisoned without guilt, I am servile and dependent on my master. I have nowhere to stand, I suffer shame and humiliation. I beg for food and fight for a job, my civility is swept away. I am ashamed to tell anyone, my heart is filled with boundless shame.

" Just as he finished writing, Instructor Guang came to visit. Gan Sheng hurriedly welcomed him in and invited him to sit down. He immediately noticed the poem on the table, picked it up, and smiled, "Brother, there must be something to it." Gan Sheng then explained in detail the wonderful aspects of the school and what Li Tai had said. Instructor Guang burst into laughter, saying, "I've wronged you, brother; I never expected it to come to this." He added, "What can a great man like me not tolerate? Besides, a prime minister's belly can hold a boat; brother, just bear with it for a few more months." Gan Sheng laughed, "If the boat comes straight, I can accommodate it, but if it comes sideways, how can I, your student, tolerate it?" They both laughed heartily. After chatting for a while, Gan Sheng asked for tea seven or eight times, but only received promises and never received any. Instructor Guang said, "No need," and stood up to take his leave. Gan Sheng saw him out. Li Sun saw the poem on the table, secretly stole it, and hid it beside him. Gan Sheng came in and found the poem missing, but since it wasn't important, he didn't look for it.

At lunchtime, Li Sun went to his grandfather's house. That day, one of Li Tai's large, fat mules had died. He ordered it to be skinned, cooked, and cut into large pieces, which he and his sons feasted on. Just as they were enjoying their meal, Li Sun approached and took out the poem, saying, "This is what the teacher wrote, scolding Grandpa. The instructor and I just read it and laughed. He also muttered a lot of things to the instructor, but I can't remember them all." Grandpa Li angrily said, "Why did he scold me like that?" He called to his sons, "Look, everyone, see what he said!"

It turned out that none of his sons wanted him to study, but since it was their father's idea, they dared not disobey. They also saw the teacher often beating their sons, and they were heartbroken. The women, being protective of their sons, often complained to their husbands, "We've raised these children with great difficulty; let them play. Why make them study? They suffer like this. They're always being beaten until they cry and scream. Can you bear it? I know you've never been to school, but you still manage to live a normal life." Hearing their wives' words, they wished the teacher would leave so their sons could be happy. The four of them were illiterate, but when their father asked them to look, they pretended to take the books and looked at them for a while. Li Ercai recognized the character for "slave" and pointed at it, saying, "Isn't this the character for 'slave'? He's calling you a slave. What a terrible insult!" He continued, "I passed by the school gate the other day, and I don't know which child he was cursing, but he said something like 'dog fucks heart, fucks heart, fucks heart again.' Even a teacher would say such things. He also cursed the children to die young. What a savage slave! He cursed so viciously. [Although he can't read, he has a good memory and can remember everything he hears.] I was furious and wanted to tell you, but I was afraid you would be angry. You said you hired a tutor for your grandson, and we would protect him and make things difficult for him. Today you even cursed me." Li Silu pointed randomly and said, "What's the point of calling me a slave? This is the worst insult. I wouldn't dare..." "Speak," Li Wushou said, pointing to another sentence. "You say that sentence is harsh, but I think it's too mild. This sentence is truly vicious." Li Sanzi said, "You all don't understand literature and are just talking nonsense. I see all the scribbles on this paper, every single one is harsh. A whole bunch of black characters, words that no one would dare to utter, he's said them all. Don't even mention you, sir, I couldn't stand these vile words. Even if I taught him to be a top scholar, it would be a long shot. Why keep such a bad person around? If he kicks us out, it's one thing for you, but how will we face anyone?" The brothers, one after another, provoked Li Tai to a fit of rage. He pounded his chest and shouted, "I'm so angry! I'm so angry!" He stormed into the schoolroom.

Gan Sheng was reading when he suddenly saw him coming in angrily. Not knowing why, he stood up and smiled to greet him. He pointed at Gansheng and cursed, "You good-for-nothing! I manage so many soldiers, and I only pay them twelve taels of silver a year. They have so many chores to do, and if they're even slightly late, I get a beating! Think about it honestly, I hire you for twelve taels a year, and you sit high up all day. What kind of hard work do you do? I provide you with two meals a day of millet porridge and buckwheat soup, and you've gotten so fat you're crazy, and now you're cursing me! Go to your grandmother's village, and my grandsons don't need to go to school, but they don't have to worry about food. They can stand taller than your poor scholar's head!" Gansheng, not knowing what had happened, saw his rudeness and also became furious, saying, "Do you think I still like living in your house? I only put up with this because of Teacher Guang's face. A gentleman breaks off relations without uttering a harsh word. What kind of filth are you spewing from your mouth?" He then laughed loudly, "Laughing loudly, I go out the door. Are we men of such low character?" He cursed, "You beast! You beast! Kill me! Kill me!" and stormed off. Li Sanzi said to his father, "Did you hear that, sir? He called me a beast and said he'd kill me, kill me! He even wants to kill me!" Li Taiyu became even angrier and said, "He wants to kill me! You all come with me and kill him to get rid of this hatred!" He then ordered his men to prepare horses and bring waist knives.

The comical man heard this and hurriedly tried to stop him. But he wouldn't listen, and became so agitated that he was raging, foaming at the mouth. The comical man secretly sent someone up to tell Madam Hua. Madam Hua sent someone down to invite him up, saying, “The old emperor talks behind your back. Did you hear him cursing you? You believe those bastards’ nonsense and want to kill him? What are you going to do with a poor scholar? If you kill him, won’t you pay with your life? Besides, there are thousands of scholars in Nanjing. If they were united, it would be like what’s described in Journey to the West: when men go to the Land of Women, each one can pinch them until only a skeleton remains. I’m telling you the truth, don’t do anything reckless, or I’ll make things worse. Don’t doubt my concern for that scholar; I’m doing this for your own good.” [Wonderful. Such a fool must be explained clearly to him.] Madam Li, seeing that his wife had spoken, dared not disobey and swallowed his anger. His belly full of mule meat, trapped by anger, could not be digested, and he gradually lost his appetite, becoming choked. No amount of medical treatment could cure him.

One day, he fell asleep and never woke up. Madam Hua, suspicious, went forward and touched him; his hands and feet were ice-cold, only his breath was slightly warm. Tears streamed down her face as she sat beside him, keeping vigil. At the third watch, she heard him sigh several times, saying, "Too late, too late." Madam Hua hurriedly asked him questions, but he didn't answer. His eyes remained fixed, tears falling like rain. After a long while, he summoned his son, daughter-in-law, and grandson, saying, "I just went to the underworld, and Yama, the King of Hell, blamed me for suspecting my unfilial behavior. He treated you rudely and had several bowls of excrement poured down my throat." [Indeed, as he said, most people in the world deserve to be poured excrement.] He cried, “Let me go back and tell you all this, to advise people not to be like me. Everyone should be filial to their parents and respect their teachers. I heard that on my way here, I will be reborn as a stupid dog. [Why must I become a dog? It's not human!] I'll be spewing excrement every day. [I've spit so much excrement in this life, so I deserve to do it in the next.] How bitter!” After crying a few more times, he died howling like a dog. [He howled his whole life, and even in death he howled—how ridiculous!] His wife had no choice but to prepare his body for burial and bring the coffin home. His father, seeing him, neither cried nor asked how he had died. Harboring resentment, he only cursed, “That servant died too late!”

Seeing that his master was dead and that he was already well-off, Li Deyong feared that someone might have revealed the forged letter to his master, and that he would not escape punishment. So he fled with his wife and son. Later, the family told Li Zhifu about Li Deyong carrying the forged letter and later hiring the tutor. Li Zhifu, however, wept bitterly, saying, "My ignorant son, [there are many ignorant sons in the world, and I can't cry too much.] You listened to your servant's forged letter and doubted me, your old man. And you listened to your grandson's slander and cursed the tutor. Your death is nothing to regret, but I, an old man, will go to my grave without seeing my noble son, only my wicked grandson." His whereabouts after that are unknown, and will not be repeated.

Meanwhile, Gan Sheng, after leaving Li Tai's house, went directly to Instructor Guang and told him what had happened. Instructor Guang felt ashamed for recommending him to the school and repeatedly admitted his mistake. Gan Sheng, however, didn't seem to care at all and simply laughed it off. Zhong Qu, knowing of Gan Sheng's poverty, had long harbored thoughts of regret for his kinship. His two sons, Zhong Wuren and Zhong Wuyi, often tried to persuade their father, saying, "The ancients said that a woman should be matched with a good husband. Although our family isn't wealthy, we're still able to make a living. What kind of rich and powerful family can't our sister marry into? Why should she be paired with such a poor man? Although we were betrothed in childhood, that was just a game. How can it be taken seriously?" Zhong Qu had already considered this, but after hearing his sons' words, he decided to back out. He hadn't dared to act rashly because he knew the man was tutoring at Governor Li's house. Now, hearing that the host and guest had fallen out, he figured the man couldn't afford to marry her, so he devised a plan. He couldn't reveal his intentions too early, lest his relatives and friends gossip. [People may have some conscience when they first have bad thoughts, but it's all gone afterward.] On one hand, he sent someone to urge the man to go through with the betrothal and wedding, and on the other hand, he presented a difficult problem: how much jewelry, how many feet of hair, how much mutton and wine, how much fruit and cakes were needed, otherwise how could she enter his house? Upon hearing this, Gan Sheng laughed and said, "Since that's the case, let's discuss it again when I have a stroke of luck." The man replied to Zhong Qu. Zhong Qu then said, "What nonsense! If he doesn't pass the imperial examination in a hundred years, my daughter won't survive in a hundred years either. Since he can't marry her, if he's willing to break off the engagement and let my daughter marry someone else, I'll even give him a few taels of silver to live on." The man then came to Gan Sheng and presented the document directly. Gan Sheng laughed loudly and said, "That old bastard only saw that I'm poor and wanted to break the engagement. Why say so much? Why would I want a penny from him?" He then wrote a letter of annulment and gave it to him. Zhong Qu was overjoyed. When

Gan Sheng's teacher, Zhen Jiaxun, found out, he was furious and wanted to gather some friends to have Gan Sheng submit a petition to the academy to report him. Gan Sheng, however, advised, “Teacher, I am deeply grateful for your kindness. The only thing to worry about in life is not achieving fame and success, not about not having a wife. It is unacceptable for me to dislike that man’s daughter. If he rejects me because of my poverty, I would have no face to take her.” Zhen Jiaxun, seeing his commendable spirit and having always admired his lofty ambitions, said, “Since you disdain him, I have a young daughter who could be your wife.” Gan Sheng declined, saying, “Teacher, your kindness is truly appreciated. But I am utterly destitute today; how could I dare to dishonor your family?” Zhen Jiaxun said sternly, “Do you regard me as inferior? [Good teacher, you are truly a role model. This one sentence treats you like a dog.] If you fear my daughter is foolish and unworthy of you, then so be it. As for other matters, I will not concern myself with them.” "Gan Sheng said, 'Teacher, you are so kind to me. How could I not wish to be your son-in-law?' He bowed and thanked you, saying, 'I am ashamed that I have no dowry to offer. What can I do?' Zhen Jiaxun smiled and said, 'Why bother with such worldly formalities? I recently took a position as an instructor in Qimen County, Huizhou Prefecture, and I will be leaving in a few days. Since my daughter has already been promised to serve as a servant, if she takes her with her, it will cause trouble for our future marriage.' He then took out a coin from his sleeve and said, 'I just borrowed fifty taels from a friend for travel expenses. I am giving twenty taels to my worthy son-in-law. Tomorrow is the auspicious day. My wife and I will bring my daughter here. After you are done, I will also be leaving. But things are urgent, and my daughter's dowry is not prepared at all. We have sent everything we have; the rest will be provided later.' [Although he was a good father-in-law, he was also a good father. Although he loved his son-in-law, he also loved his daughter. Zhen Jiaxun was not only a good teacher but also a good father-in-law.] Seeing his warm heart, Gan Sheng could only thank him repeatedly." Zhen Jiaxun returned home and only told his wife, not even his daughter.

The next day, he said that relatives had invited him to a farewell banquet, and he hired three sedan chairs to take him to the Gan family. Gan Sheng also prepared a feast to entertain his father-in-law and mother-in-law. The elderly couple watched their daughter and son-in-law exchange vows and then returned home at dusk. He was going to take up his post, so he gave all the household items to his daughter and son-in-law. Mencius said, "Women are born with the desire to have a home." His beloved daughter was waiting to be married, and had no idea what was going on. Suddenly, she had a son-in-law, so she probably had no reason to complain to her parents. He saw that Gan Sheng was tall and strong and had a magnanimous heart. Gan Sheng was grateful for his father-in-law's kindness and saw that his new wife was beautiful. The couple respected and loved each other very much. Zhen Jiaxun pawned his study to Zhong Qu, and the ten taels of silver he received were also given to his son-in-law for his studies. He left for his post within a few days. Zhong Qu, after receiving the annulment document, was initially worried that there would be more to the story. A few days later, upon hearing that Instructor Zhen had married his daughter to him, he was relieved. [Not only was he relieved, but everyone laughed at Instructor Zhen for being foolish.] He asked a matchmaker to find him a wealthy son-in-law.

However, his reputation for being a snob spread, and respectable families despised him. Who would want his daughter? Several years passed, and his daughter was now twenty-five. Just then, Lao Zheng, having lost Bao Gu, was remarrying. The matchmaker mentioned that Zhong Qu's daughter was very beautiful, but a bit too old. Lao Zheng was almost thirty, and the girl was two years younger—what did that matter? He sent someone to propose marriage.

Zhong Qu, hearing that the girl was the son of the Imperial Censor, was eager to marry her, and his two sons strongly encouraged him. Hoping to curry favor with the wealthy son-in-law, he gave him a thousand taels of silver as a dowry. [What kind of heart do people have who, because of their own wealth, snob their sons? Even Zhong Qu, who abandoned his son because of his poverty, gave a thousand taels of silver to marry his daughter to Lao.] If this thousand taels of gold were given to Gan Sheng, he would not be poor. If he were to marry his daughter to him, wouldn't he be a loving father and virtuous mother-in-law? Alas, he was so caught up in the pursuit of power and wealth that he did not realize his mistake. What a pity! Lao Zheng married her, and on their wedding night, she was not only beautiful but also a virgin, and they were deeply in love. Who knew that later, when the plot failed, Wei Zhongxian was executed and implicated. Lao Zheng, the Imperial Censor, was a second-ranking official, a member of the rebel faction, and he himself was executed. His wife and family were exiled to the Shaanxi border. Even Zhong Qu's daughter went with the armored general. Gan Sheng and Zhong Qu passed the provincial examination in the same year, and the following year they both passed the imperial examination, becoming county magistrates and later judges. Zhong Qu was filled with remorse, abandoning his daughter's future judge wife and becoming a soldier's wife. [It's a pity he died young, never seeing his daughter later become the wife of the Duke of Zeguo.] Li Zicheng was rampant in Shaanxi, his whereabouts unknown, and no one knew whether he was alive or dead. He often wanted to gouge out his own eyes, lamenting his lack of discernment, and was ridiculed and mocked behind his back by his relatives and friends. Thus, he died of a stroke, fueled by resentment—but that's another story.

Now, let's talk about Gan Sheng, whose residence was near Jia Wenwu's. Jia Wenwu, because of his false reputation as a scholar, was often asked to write poems or essays by people who knew him as a scholar who had passed the imperial examinations. He couldn't refuse because he didn't know how, and he himself couldn't do it. He had known Gan Sheng since childhood, knowing he had some talent, and often asked him to do it for him. This day, because he needed to write an alliance document, he went to invite him again. Upon seeing him, Gan Sheng was overjoyed and said, "Brother, I've been waiting for you!" He hurriedly greeted him and offered him a seat. Without even exchanging pleasantries, he explained that the young master Huan wanted to form an alliance and needed him to write an essay, so he had asked Gan Sheng to write it for him. He then poured a cup of tea and brought it over, handing over the pen and laying out the paper. Gan Sheng and Jia Wenwu lived in the same alley and often drank together. Jia Wenwu often asked Gan Sheng to send him food and firewood during festivals. Although Gan Sheng declined, Jia Wenwu insisted. Seeing his earnestness, Gan Sheng reluctantly accepted. Today, Gan Sheng was invited and, seeing his eagerness and flattery, was asked to write a few lines of a pledge, a very easy task. Although he knew Gan Sheng's alliance with Huan E and Tong Zida was nothing more than a group of pampered young men, a clique of scoundrels, he quickly wrote a sarcastic and mocking piece. After finishing, he copied it neatly on yellow paper and handed it to Jia Wenwu. Jia Wenwu read it and praised, "Without your great talent, elder brother, how could you have produced this? It greatly honors me." He invited Gan Sheng to drink a few cups before taking his leave. Jia Wenwu bowed deeply in thanks and saw him out. [Jia Wenwu was usually very eloquent with everyone, but when he met Gan Sheng, he dared not utter a single word.] Not only was he a novice compared to a master, but he was also simply using his writing to deceive outsiders.

Back in the inner room, Madam Fu asked, "Where did you go today? Why are you only returning now? And what did that man surnamed Gan write?" Jia Wenwu bowed and said, "I was late because of official business. I have been in the hall for a long time, but I haven't entered the inner room yet." Madam Fu angrily said, "You speak so eloquently to others, and you're the same way in front of me. When I ask you a question, you don't explain clearly what you mean by 'I was late because of official business'?" Jia Wenwu said, "Am I so eloquent? I've been using it for so long that I don't know its error. Please forgive me." Madam Fu laughed and said, "I think you're a real pedant, hiding your literary talents while spouting nonsense. [Comment.] What exactly happened? Tell me." Jia Wenwu said, "There is a young nobleman, who is very refined and elegant. He wants to befriend me and share my refined taste. He is as fragrant as an orchid, so I didn't realize it was already late when I returned." Madam Fu said, "Pah! You're talking nonsense." She then went to bed, took off her clothes, and went to sleep. Jia Wenwu also went to bed. He lay there for a moment, then got up and said, "Of the three unfilial acts, the greatest is to have no offspring. To marry without informing one's parents is to have no offspring, let alone for a man and woman to live together. Although you, my lady, have not learned to raise a son before marrying, I, your clumsy husband, fear that this violates the great principles of human relations, and dare not refuse to perform this ritual." Fu ignored him. He laid Fu down properly, stood up, bowed deeply towards her vulva, and said, "I apologize. I will improve myself every day, and again I will improve myself." Then he climbed onto her belly and began to make love. Gently and slowly, he thrust in and out. Fu Shi cried out anxiously, "How can you be so slow and leisurely at such a crucial time?" Jia Wenwu replied, "To be brave and violent, endangering one's parents, is unfilial. Besides, as the ancients said, 'Only those who are refined and cultured can be gentlemen.'" Fu Shi retorted angrily, "If you act like this, what's the point of risking your life?" Jia Wenwu said, "Filial piety should be exerted to the utmost, loyalty should be given to the death, and how could I not be with my wife? I cannot, not because I do not want to." In a moment, panting heavily, he collapsed onto his pillow. Fu Shi said, "Why are you becoming even more immobile?" Jia Wenwu said, "I am finished, I cannot move. It is not that I dare not stop, but I have no strength to move." Fu Shi was both angry and resentful, shoved him, and he fell to the ground to sleep. She sighed, "Young and impetuous, one must be wary of fighting. From now on, I know I can spare my young son." Fu Shi was furious upon hearing this and pinched him several times with force. He said, "Our bodies, hair, and skin are given to us by our parents; we dare not damage them. You do not suffer for yourself, but I do. Why do you twist it like this?" Madam Fu went to sleep resentfully, and the night passed.

The next morning, Jia Wenwu got up, washed, dressed, and, with the oath in his sleeve, took a sedan chair to the Huan family's residence. Upon entering the garden, Tong and Wu were already there. Huan E greeted him and asked, "Brother, have you finished your essay?" Jia Wenwu replied, "I have plenty of teachers to teach me; how could I not?" [This sentence is quite true.] He then took it out of his sleeve and handed it to him. Huan E took it, opened it, and asked Wu to read it aloud. Everyone stepped forward to listen to him read: "

We, the officials Huan'e, Jia Wenwu, and Tong Zida, residing in Nanjing Yingtian Prefecture of the Great Ming Kingdom in the Southern Province of Zhanbu, respectfully offer black pigs, white sheep, incense, flowers, paper money, and candles to the True Ruler of Heaven, Earth, the Three Realms, and the Ten Directions, and to the First Emperor of the Three Realms, the Great Emperor Who Subdues Demons and Protects the World, the Divine Venerable Guan Sheng Di Jun

." Huan'e said, "The two characters 'official' are extremely appropriate, very clever." Wu He said, "Even the four characters 'black pigs and white sheep' are perfectly matched." Tong Zida said, "Writing 'Lord Guan' is really good; I've seen people write his name when they swear brotherhood." Wu He then read: "

We were originally of different surnames, but now we form an alliance. We only wish to be born on the same day of the same year, not to die on the same day of the same year."

Wu He said, "The words 'life and death' have so many layers of meaning when you change them. Who but a renowned scholar like Master Jia could have conceived of this?" Tong Zida said, "These two sentences were originally beyond the understanding of the ancients. Nowadays, even relatives and brothers act like mortal enemies over a few coins. [At first glance, it seems like nonsense, but upon closer examination, it is truly profound.] How much more so should sworn brothers who only care about food and drink? They're only after some food and drink. [Recently, alliances are formed for this very reason.] Why would they risk life and death together for no reason? Isn't such illogical nonsense laughable?" Huan E said, "Indeed, what you say is extremely reasonable." He said to Wu He, "Read it again." He read: "

From this day forward, after this oath is made, the three of us will take turns in charge, either by hosting a feast of wine and meat, or by visiting brothels. If we break this oath, may we be punished by both gods and men."

Tong Zida stuck out his tongue and said, "Since that's the case, then just remove my name from the list. I'm not coming." Huan E said, "Since it was already agreed upon, why are you changing your mind?" Tong Zida said, "Brother Jia is a coffin carrier who delivers coffins. He's playing games with me. He said we'd take turns hosting, how can I afford that? I'm just a broker, how can I afford such a huge expense? If my wife finds out, my worthless life will be in your hands." Jia Wenwu said, "Sending is a matter of courtesy between host and guest. Since that's the case, you can do two things at once, and we can do two, how about that?" Tong Zida shook his head and said, "I can't do that either. I heard someone reciting something the other day, something about one out of twenty being chosen. According to the book, you can each host ten times and I'll host one time." Huan E said, "That's absurd. We two can host ten times and bother you once, how about that?" He then fell silent. Wu He said, "Gentlemen, please listen to the rest of the reading."

He then read: "Today we announce our wealth and honor, therefore we form a brotherhood. In the future, when our wealth and honor are no longer sufficient, we will surely dissolve our brotherhood, and appeal to Heaven for witness. Respectfully submitted on the day of Tianqi.

" After reading this, Tong Zida said, "I only like these two lines in this entire piece." Wu He said, "The whole piece is wonderful, why only say these two lines?" Tong Zida said, "It says that we gather when we have money, and we part when we don't. Isn't that wonderful? I only became sworn brothers with you because you two are rich and powerful. If you two brothers fall on hard times, what kind of brothers will I be with you? Even blood relatives are like this, let alone a mere alliance of wine and meat?" [Friendship is one of the five cardinal relationships. If one can truly be a friend, one can share joys and sorrows, life and death. Why then would one need an alliance to begin with? Nowadays, alliances are nothing more than wine and meat societies, which are merely given the fancy name of alliance. As the ancients said: The most laughable thing about the world is the alliance of friends.] Tong Zida's words resonate with people today. How much ridicule and heartbreak they evoke—who can call them foolish? Huan E said to Jia Wenwu, "A man must become a Jinshi (a successful candidate in the highest imperial examinations). My brother's essay is full of my innermost thoughts, which I couldn't express, but you've said them all. You truly deserve the title of 'talented scholar.'" [Huan E's words seem insignificant at first glance, but upon closer examination, they are utterly absurd. He doesn't understand that becoming a Jinshi is based on literary talent, believing that passing the Jinshi exam automatically grants talent. This is utterly absurd and laughable.] Jia Wenwu said, "This essay of mine was written with great care, rising at cockcrow. Though it's a minor piece, it certainly has its merits." "As they spoke, the family had already arranged everything. They asked Wu He to read the oath, and the three of them burned incense and swore an oath of blood, then exchanged vows. Wine was served, and everyone drank heartily, calling each other 'brother, brother,' feeling even closer than blood relatives. They said, 'We're

like-minded, a brotherhood forged. Brothers, brothers, with wine and food surrounding us. If you ask whether there's any loyalty, that's hard to say.

' They drank until late into the night before parting ways. Huan'e returned to his room, and Hou asked, 'What were you doing slaughtering pigs and sheep earlier today?' Huan'e told her about his oath of brotherhood with Jia and Tong. Hou said, 'I've been your wife for many years, and I've never seen any affection from you. You're like an innkeeper, coming in to sleep at night and then disappearing early in the morning, doing who-knows-what all day. And you've sworn brotherhood with outsiders—isn't that turning the close into the distant, and the distant into the close?'" "[There are many such people.] Huan'e said, 'How could I not want to be intimate with you? But when I see your fierce, Vajra-like face, I don't feel any joy at all. My soul is not in my body. I'm too afraid to even approach you.' Hou was suddenly in a good mood and wanted to be intimate with him. So she squinted her two red eyes, grinned, and pretended to laugh, 'If it were me, I would be even more afraid.' She said, 'With my smiling face now, are you still afraid? Let's see how you'll be intimate with me.' Huan'e was also half-drunk. Seeing his radiant face, he suddenly became bolder. He also walked forward with a smile, hugged her, and kissed her twice, saying, 'My mother, if you have this happy face every day, I will be intimate with you every night. Let's go to bed and be intimate.'" "They carried Hou to the bed and helped her undress. The two were completely naked. Although Huan'e was pregnant, his ample bosom was quite impressive. A poem in the style of 'West River Moon' praised him: '

A firm erection over six inches long, capable of both softness and hardness. Soft as a drunkard staggering, hard as a mad monk. Skilled in entering and leaving the vagina, his waist and navel are his home. Born with two sons by his side, he is accustomed to fighting with beauties.

' Hou, though not particularly attractive, possessed a beautiful vulva. A poem in the style of 'West River Moon' described her: '

Tight, warm, fragrant, and dry, smooth and lovely. Sometimes she sticks out her tongue and smiles, sometimes she lazily opens her two labia when tired.'" By the clear water pond, our homeland; in the county, our home. Sometimes, a sudden surge of desire would arise, a thousand rounds of battle without weariness.

The two of them would get into it, and there they were:

one on tiptoe, the other thrusting straight in; one swaying her slender waist, the other pounding away with a jade pestle. One would smile and tightly embrace her waist, the other would joyfully shake her thighs. One's face burned like fire, the other's tongue was as cold as ice. One hummed in his throat, like a child crying in his sleep; the other panted through his nose, like an old ox exhausted from plowing. The next one's eyes were hazy with starlight, his heart filled with ecstasy; the previous one was drenched in sweat, his whole body tingling with pleasure as he ejaculated.

After a long time, the clouds dispersed and the rain ceased. Hou, having enjoyed this moment, found it quite different from usual. The two clasped arms and pressed their chests together, sleeping intimately all night. Afterwards, Hou, appreciating this intimacy, often smiled at him, and Huan'e gradually became a little bolder. Although he dared not break her rules, he was no longer as timid as before.

Meanwhile, Zhong Sheng was at Mei Sheng's house one day, composing essays. After finishing, they commented on each other's work. Zhong Sheng noticed a handwritten copy on the table and picked it up to read. Mei Sheng said, "This is a book by a friend surnamed Guo. He has some connection with Marquis Mu of Qianning and went to Yunnan to visit him. Duke Mu kept him for over a month, and he wrote more than thirty poems about the scenery of Yunnan. Yesterday, he returned and sent them to me. Although they are not excellent, reading them allows one to understand the customs of that place; it is not without benefit." Zhong Sheng opened the book and read: "

Red towers and embroidered doors vie for the year's glory, New flowers adorn the eight treasures."
Distinguished guests arrive to offer New Year's greetings, ten betel nuts presented on a golden platter.

Three winters bring thunder and rain, but by the time spring arrives, peaches
are already in bloom. At the end of the first month, plums are large, and cucumbers are ripe for the new harvest in the second month.

A gentle spring breeze stirs outside the curtain, swallows chatter on the rafters.
Only wild geese never fly here, their clear skies shrouded in mist and haze .

During the Flower Festival, women line up, carrying cups, sitting in a small village east of the city. They eagerly pick up pebbles
to pound in the stone mortar, hoping for the birth of a fine son. Willow

catkins scatter on the swings, taking advantage of the rainless Qingming Festival.
Along the Jinzhi River, peach and plum trees line the path, amidst the crowds

, orioles flit about. A green cloth hangs on her head, she helps herself up on the hillside.
Returning home, she sees no bride, chewing betel nuts and cursing the unworthy servant.

Willow leaves and peach blossoms bloom day and night, courtesans return from brothels singing.
How much sorrow is relieved by idle thoughts, bringing a face full of spring breeze.

A single golden hairpin worth ten thousand, the beauty of Huo's daughter, Xiaoyu, is captivating.
Beautiful flowers just bloom, new orioles sing, jealous beauties compose poems of picking dates.

The scenic wonders of Yuantong are like a miniature Penglai, towers and pavilions opening on the cliffs of gold and silver.
The winding path leads straight to the top, pitifully, silk stockings half-covered in dust. Golden statues of flesh in ancient shrines, newly built bronze halls on Parrot Beach. Go out and try looking east, on the mountaintop sit men and women, their figures broken. A thousand summer trees form a rain-praying altar, Bird Dragon Pool encircles the green railings. Teams of divine fish, all dragon offspring, who dares to sing of fishing with a rod in the wind? Golden Horse Temple before Golden Horse Mountain, Green Rooster Shrine outside Green Rooster Pass. After Wang Bao's sacrifice, Nan Yun sighed, still saying that Kunming was carved during the Han Dynasty. The Black Dragon of Dali remembers the White Dragon, legend says they are male and female. Now they meet once a year, hail and ice filling the sky. The Yue Temple opens before White Pagoda Street, the Blood Pool lures women here. Butterflies fly away, turning to ashes, alone in the west corridor, unwilling to return. Shuliang has always produced copper mountains, the nine prefectures open the Baohuo Spring. One string of cash a month to collect mother and child, everyone vie to sell money. [In Yunnan, trade is mainly by sea, and even now, money is still called "child."] Children have a thousand good ideas every day, sugarcane is cold and plums are sour. They buy roast goose but haven't even invited anyone, then ask for money to exchange for rice cakes. [In Yunnan, children call fried broad beans "roast goose."] A hundred different tunes and shouts fill the air, the fish market street stretches to the sheep market. The locals don't understand, snails, piglets, yellow snails. [In Yunnan, snails are very large, sellers divide them into three grades, yellow and yellow.] Clouds scatter and stars return in June, people eat raw meat and share the freshness. They don't know that the five Zhao states were burned to death, just like the year the fire was lit at Mount Li. [June 24th is the Torch Festival, and the locals all eat raw meat.] Two towering pagodas stand majestically, people from the west temple return from the east temple. Five hundred Arhats stand tall, all wearing brocade robes. Autumn clouds drift over Mount Taihua, waters flow endlessly below. Ballads recount the saga of past dynasties, but Yang Yongxiu is nowhere to be seen. The sea at Yan Gong's place is vast and boundless, Kunming Lake connects with Kunyang. Why do boats travel so late at night, when the daytime storms are unstoppable? The bell tolls mournfully in the autumn of Brahma, at the head of the thousand-year-old road to Guihua. Do not say that the southwest is connected to the Han envoys, for Dianchi Lake refuses to flow eastward. Whose young woman, with her hair in twin buns, sweeps the Qingming Festival and weeps for the barbarians? She proclaims herself a son of China, but pitifully, she dies and is buried on Liangwang Mountain. A raging storm rises ten feet high in the daytime, uprooting mountains and surging forth with furious roars. Outside the Laolao Pavilion, the heavy pass is filled with dust and sand , offering no escape. Gems gleam in Yongchang, gold shines brightly in Lijiang. Even emptying one's purse fears to offend the public; who among the common people dares to keep what they have? Near the city, the wind carries the spirits of ancestral graves; all day long, geomancers survey the site on horseback. Everyone says the burial place is auspicious, but who knows when high officials first came? A man prays for a dream in the mountains, boasting of a dream that awakens him from his slumber. Ignorant of human affairs, all is but a dream; alone, I earnestly inquire of the gods at night. Tall trees burst into bloom, their blossoms like a blazing fire, a thousand reds and ten thousand purples like children and grandchildren. The spring scenery is truly beautiful, a chorus of flowers echoing past the door. The two loyal ministers, their names reflected in the Yunnan clouds, their fame resounding along the coast. Life and death, both righteous in their exile and return, they are renowned in the south for their twin benevolence. The fifth of the Qianning region in East China opens, the pearl-like trees in full bloom illuminating the old man's red hair. Parrots fly westward as the fragrant grasses darken , the cassia branch alone sings in the spring breeze. The flowers in the Jade Tree's rear garden have faded, birds fly coldly beneath Liangwang Mountain. The common people do not understand the sorrow, a bright moon shines on the jujube-picking pole. Having finished reading, Mei Sheng invited Zhong Sheng to drink a few more cups. Seeing the sun setting, Zhong Sheng bid farewell and returned home. Just as he was leaving, rain began to fall heavily. With nowhere to hide, he saw a shed in a vegetable garden, a place of shade for the people of Zhong Garden at midday, and hurriedly went to take shelter there. Unexpectedly, the rain intensified, as if it were pouring down. In an instant, the water rose several inches deep on the flat ground, filling a pond used for irrigating the garden. Fortunately, the bean leaves on the shed provided shade, and he was under a large locust tree, so although he was slightly wet, he wasn't completely disheveled. As the first watch of the night approached, the pattering rain still hadn't stopped. Zhong Sheng was still far from home, and the muddy path made travel difficult. The rain continued relentlessly until after the first watch, when it finally stopped, revealing a faint moonlight through the dark clouds. Although the sky had cleared, it was late and he couldn't return home, causing him great anxiety. Suddenly, he faintly heard the sound of weeping. Looking around in the hazy moonlight, he vaguely saw a figure by the pond. The weeping wasn't loud, but it was very sorrowful, as if someone intended to drown themselves. Zhong Sheng quietly approached and saw it was a woman. The woman, still weeping, hadn't seen him before. Hearing footsteps, she suddenly turned around. Seeing someone approaching, she quickly plunged into the water. Zhong Sheng, whose eyesight was poor, saw the woman go into the water. He rushed forward, grabbed her clothes, and pulled her up with all his might. The woman struggled, but Zhong Sheng, disregarding any suspicion or the mud on his own clothes, grabbed her arm and said, "Whose family are you? What grievances have you suffered that have led you to attempt suicide?" The woman couldn't break free and could only sob. Zhong Sheng said, "If you have any urgent matter, tell me. Perhaps I can save you. Where do you live?" The woman stopped crying and pointed to a small door, saying, "That's my back door." By this time, the woman was covered in mud and water from head to toe. Zhong Sheng helped her up with all his might, saying, "Please go back, you mustn't do this." In the dim light, the woman saw that Zhong Sheng was dressed in a scholar's robe and cap, looking like a scholar. She cried again, "Sir, it's no use you saving me, I can't live anyway. It's better to let me die in this deep water." Zhong Sheng said, "If I don't see him, that's fine, but how can I see him and not save him? Go back and we'll talk. If I have the strength, I will definitely save him."

Seeing his earnest persuasion, the woman had no choice but to go home, with Zhong Sheng following behind. The woman, covered in mud and water, was heavy and slippery on the muddy ground. Her shoes were narrow and her feet were small, causing her to stumble and fall with every step. Zhong Sheng, feeling sorry for her, went to help her. Fearing she would slip again, the woman gripped Zhong Sheng's shoulders tightly, getting him covered in mud as well, and helped him into the house. You might think that Zhong Sheng, a scholar, would willingly go to a lonely woman's room in the dead of night. He feared that if no one was there, she might try to kill herself, which would betray the kindness of his rescuer. Secondly, he wanted to get details from her so he could find a way to help her and ensure her complete salvation.

Once inside the room, there was no light, and the moon was dim; it was pitch black. The woman found a stool for Zhong Sheng to sit on, and he sat on the edge of the bed. Although the woman was soaked, fortunately it was early July, and the weather was still warm. Zhong Sheng asked her why she had drowned herself and where her husband was. She started crying again and said, "My surname is Xi, and my husband's surname is Chong, and his given name is Haogu. He used to be from a good family, but he was good-for-nothing. He spent his days swindling minor officials and doing lewd things, squandering all our small fortune. Now he has no money, and all his former lovers have abandoned him, but he still hasn't given up. Three days ago, he brought a young man to our house." As she spoke, she cried even more bitterly. Zhong Sheng said, "Don't be sad. Tell me what you've said, and then we can discuss it." The woman stopped crying and said shamefully, "He wanted me to sleep with that young man because he had no money. He even offered to borrow his buttocks. I'm from a respectable family; how could I do such a shameless and despicable thing? I had a huge fight with him, and he stormed out and hasn't returned for three days. We have nothing to sell, not even firewood, rice, oil, or salt. In this long weather, I've been starving for three whole days, not even a grain of rice has touched my teeth. Husband, please think about it, what's the point of living like this? Even ants cling to life; how can I, in my misery, not live?" "Does the Dao not value life? I was so hungry I couldn't bear it anymore, so I tried to drown myself. I wanted to hang myself, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I thought I'd just jump into the deep water and be done with it, but then my husband rescued me. I thought to myself, I've married such a good-for-nothing husband. He's only interested in pleasure and doesn't care if his wife goes hungry. So I do some worthless things, and he can't blame me.

It would be fine if he had a decent man as a lover, but how could he sleep with a scoundrel like a rabbit?" The woman's words were deliberate. Although she couldn't see Zhong Sheng's face in the shadows, she saw that he was refined and a decent man. He had saved her with kindness, and despite the mud, he had tried his best to support her and even said he wanted to save her. Most people who are impulsive and want to die would rather die than be saved. Who wouldn't cherish their life? This Xi woman not only wanted to repay his kindness by sacrificing herself, but also wanted to befriend him and seek his care. [This is not a description of Xi Shi's chastity suddenly turning into lust; rather, it is a thought of repaying a debt of gratitude. Because he has not yet given himself to repay this debt today, he will never forget it in the future and will surely repay it in the end.] Zhong Sheng is an honest gentleman and would not accept his words. She asked him, "Don't you have parents or brothers?" Xi replied, "It would be good if I had parents. I only have an older brother, and my sister-in-law died two years ago, so I'm all alone. Seeing that my brother-in-law is no good, I've made a scene a few times and rarely visit. He went out to do business and said he wouldn't be back until August." Zhong said, "That's good, don't overthink it." [This sentence is brilliant. Zhong is a clever man; how could he not have foreseen the implication of Xi's earlier words? Now, saying "don't overthink it" might seem to a shallow person as meaning she shouldn't try to kill herself again. But a deeper understanding implies that she must not lose her virginity because of her innocence.] You only need two taels of silver a month to cover your travel expenses. Although I am a poor scholar, I will arrange accommodation for you tomorrow." Xi said, "What is your surname, sir? I am deeply indebted to you; how can I repay such a great kindness?" Zhong said, "My humble surname is Zhong. Saving someone in distress is only right and proper; why speak of repayment?"

As he spoke, it began to rain heavily outside again. After Zhong Sheng finished speaking and comforted the woman, he was about to go down to the shed. Unexpectedly, the rain intensified, so he could only sit with his eyes closed, concentrating. Seeing Zhong Sheng's kindness, Xi Shi was deeply moved. She thought, "How could a lonely man and a widow sitting together in the shadows of a room not be tempted? I fear he might make a move first, which would be dishonest. Since I intend to repay him with my body, I might as well go and offer myself to him." [The reason for writing these words is not to suggest Xi Shi's promiscuity, but rather to highlight Zhong Sheng's rarity.] So she approached him and said, "It's late, sir. Please, if you don't mind, go to bed. I'll sit on the bench." Zhong Sheng said, "Please, do as you please. I'll sit." Seeing his refusal, Xi Shi had no choice but to sit on the edge of the bed. The rain fell all night, and the two of them sat there all night. Zhong Sheng, facing the woman, remained unmoved. Four lines praise him: "

In an empty room on a rainy night, facing the moon's beauty, his upright heart is as firm as iron.
He can suppress desire throughout the lonely night; sitting with her in his arms, he truly follows in the footsteps of the sages.

" The east brightened, and the sky cleared. Xi Shi looked at Zhong Sheng and saw a handsome young man, her heart filled with affection. [This line indicates that several years had passed, hence the immediate recognition.] She rose and said to Zhong Sheng, "The mud is deep and the road is treacherous; how will you return, sir? We have not a single piece of firewood, nor a cup of tea to offer you." Zhong Sheng saw that Xi Shi was also quite beautiful; though dressed in simple clothes, her beauty was undeniable. An ancient saying goes:

"Good, good, good, no need for fine silk robes. A blue shirt and white skirt, good is simply good."

Another line praises him:

"Ice-like skin hides jade bones, the collar of his shirt reveals his soft breasts. Willow-leaf eyebrows are layered with emerald green, almond eyes sparkle like silver stars. His moon-like appearance is charming, his natural character pure." Her body was like a swallow hiding in a willow, her voice like a nightingale singing in the forest. She was soaking wet, like a crabapple blossom shrouded in the morning sun after rain; covered in mud, like a chrysanthemum in autumn sunshine after frost. Though not a fairy from the Jade Terrace, she was still a graceful beauty.

Xi was still soaking wet, and Zhong Sheng replied, "Ignore the mud, I'll go back now and arrange a place and send you the money. You mustn't try to kill yourself again, change your wet clothes and rest. I'm coming." [These two sentences clearly show how much Zhong Sheng loved her, and how he dared not overstep the bounds of propriety.] Xi said, "I only have this one shirt on, poor thing, where can I find a change?" Zhong Sheng nodded, sighed, and left, still covered in mud.

When he got home, he weighed out three taels of silver that Qian Gui had given him, took one hundred coins, and two pairs of old trousers, rolled them up tightly in his sleeves, and went back to Xi's house. The woman was leaning against the door, waiting expectantly. Seeing him, she quickly stepped aside to let him in. Zhong Sheng first took out his shirt and trousers and placed them on the table, saying, "These two old clothes will do for you." He then handed him some silver, saying, "You said yesterday that your brother would come home in August, but it's already early July. It's only two months until the end of August, but those who leave home may not return. This is three taels of silver, enough for three months' expenses. When your brother returns, you'll have someone to help you." He then gave him one hundred coins, saying, "I'm afraid no one will be able to exchange money for you right away. You've been hungry for three or four days, so buy some snacks to fill your stomach." Seeing his thoughtfulness, Xi Shi felt a deep affection for him. A few tears fell, and she said, "My husband is so kind; I have no way to repay him. If you don't mind my ugliness, I'm willing to repay you with my own body." [This is not to say that Xi Shi was fickle, but rather to praise her unwavering heart in repaying kindness, which contrasts sharply with the men of the world who receive kindness today and then turn their backs on it tomorrow.] Zhong Sheng said solemnly, "My kindness in saving you was surely not an act of disloyalty. Don't speak such nonsense and misunderstand my intentions." Seeing his resolute tone, Xi Shi knew he wasn't a lecherous or immoral person, and quickly bowed in thanks. Zhong Sheng returned the bow and took his leave.

About a hundred paces from his home, he saw an old woman and a young woman standing idly by a doorway. Upon seeing Zhong Sheng, the young woman exclaimed, "What a handsome young man! What urgent matter has brought you to be covered in mud?" Zhong Sheng looked up and saw that although she was simply dressed and made up, she possessed unparalleled beauty. A few lines from the ancients praised her: "

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, no need for a mirror. Simple makeup, simply beautiful. "

Seeing this, Zhong Sheng quickly lowered his head and walked past. An older woman said, "This is Master Zhong, who lives in the garden over there. He's a talented and handsome young scholar, quite famous." [The old woman knew Master Zhong's name from only a hundred paces away, yet Master Zhong himself didn't know her. This shows he was indifferent to worldly affairs, preferring to seclude himself for study

.] Master Zhong arrived home, changed his clothes and shoes. Having not slept all night, he took a nap, then got up to read. The sky cleared. Two days later, needing some necessities, he sent his hired servant to the market. He sat alone reading when he suddenly heard a hurried knock at the door. He assumed the servant had forgotten something and was returning to retrieve it. He hurried to open the door, and there stood the beautiful woman who had been standing at the door the other day. Master Zhong said, "What brings you here, sir?" The woman smiled and said, "I've come to see your study, Master." She then entered. Master Zhong, not wanting to refuse her, followed her in. He had only caught a glimpse of her the other day and hadn't seen her clearly. Looking at him then, he saw a beautiful woman. [The author of the poem says that looking at other people's women greatly diminishes one's virtue. This is a pedantic and ignorant argument. No one is blind; why wouldn't one glance at a beautiful woman? Even if it's just like glancing at flowers on a horse's back, it's fleeting and shouldn't be lingered in one's mind. What harm is there? But if one sees a beautiful woman and can't forget her, and keeps talking about her, then not only is one's virtue diminished, but one is truly a petty person.] A few lines praise him:

The moon hangs over her eyebrows, her cheeks glow with rosy hues. Her skin is like snow, her hair like auspicious clouds. Her graceful figure is not unusual, but her beauty lies in its effortless elegance; her poise and grace are worthy of praise, not intentional poetry. Truly, she is a peerless beauty, a fairy descended from heaven. [The description of Li's beauty is not the main point. It is to emphasize that such a stunning woman came to him in a secluded place, yet Zhong Sheng remained unmoved, truly a remarkable man.]

He entered the room and said, "What a clean and tidy bedroom! It is truly a study of the Xiaoxiang Academy, worthy of a talented man's residence." Zhong Sheng stood outside the window and said, "Men and women should not be so close. Please leave. I fear that a friend might stumble upon us, and it would be unseemly." The beautiful woman said, "Please come in, sir. I have something to tell you." Zhong Sheng said, "Have you not heard of the taboo of being implicated in a melon patch or under a plum tree? Please tell me your thoughts. I am listening here as well." The beautiful woman said, "My surname is Li..." My father was a learned scholar. I was misled by a matchmaker and married a worthless man. My late husband, surnamed Sang, was illiterate and spent his life gambling and whoring. I have been a widow for three years and am twenty-one years old. Since my husband's death, I have lived with my mother's family. My parents and in-laws, pitying my young age and lack of children, urged me to remarry. I fear marrying another worthless man, which would ruin my life. I wish to find a good husband, and therefore dare not entrust myself lightly. Later, I saw your distinguished appearance and heard of your profound learning; I am secretly overjoyed and, without thinking... "I am humble and unworthy, yet I am willing to serve you. I have come not for any illicit affair, but to entrust my life to you. The family I met yesterday, sir, is my maternal uncle, surnamed Tao. My aunt, née Liu, is my mother's younger sister. Today, the elderly couple have gone to visit relatives, and I have taken the opportunity to come here. I am ashamed to propose myself; would you be so kind as to accept?" Zhong Sheng replied, "I am deeply grateful for your kindness, but I have already betrothed to my wife. I would be unworthy of your hospitality." The woman thought for a moment and then said, "I would rather be a scholar..." "I do not wish to be the wife of a vegetable seller. Since you have already betrothed a wife, sir, would you be willing to reserve a small position for me? What do you think?" Zhong Sheng said, "Your father is a respected elder, and you are a lady of a Confucian family. How could you possibly become someone's concubine? Your father naturally loves his daughter and is choosing a good match for her. As the saying goes, 'Better to be the head of a chicken than the tail of an ox.' Don't be mistaken. Someone may come; please turn back now." Upon hearing this, Li Shi was truly like

someone who had already found her way to paradise, yet was still lost in a dream.
A bluebird carried a message from beyond the clouds, but she had mistakenly told her heart's secrets to the east wind.

Tears streamed down her face as she said, "After seeing you yesterday, I secretly thought I had found my life's purpose. I never expected you to refuse me like this. I have also heard the saying, 'Better to be a broken jade than a whole tile.' My life has already been ruined once; how can I bear to make another mistake? My fate is so thin; I will henceforth enter the Buddhist order, fast and embroider Buddha images, and never remarry in this life." She covered her face and wept bitterly. Zhong Sheng, hearing her so pitiful words, was truly moved. After thinking for a moment, he said, “Don’t be sad. I’ll act as matchmaker for you. I have a brother named Mei, who is twenty-three years old this year. He is exceptionally handsome and naturally talented, and he is sure to achieve great things in the future. He lost his wife two years ago, and his family is quite well-off, much better than mine. If you are willing to marry him, you will not be disappointed.” Li said, “Sir, your words are indeed wise, but I don’t know if they are as you say.” Zhong said, “I am deeply moved by your affection. It is natural for a man to be attracted to beautiful women. If I had not already made a betrothal, would I not want to have a beauty like you? To say that I do not love you would be hypocritical. Although I have a heart full of affection, there are certain things that cannot be done according to propriety. [These words show that Zhong is a true hero and a man of true feelings.] I am acting as matchmaker to repay your deep affection. How could I possibly ruin your life?” Hearing his words, Li was truly moved and bowed deeply. Zhong Sheng returned the bow and said, "I will speak to Brother Mei today and come to your residence to make my request on a chosen day. May I ask where your father lives?" Li Shi replied, "If your esteemed friend does not despise our humble origins, there is no need to send a matchmaker. If you are not stingy with your money, you can go to your aunt's house and ask her to speak on your behalf; that would be much easier." [How thoughtful! This woman also wanted Mei Sheng to come so she could secretly admire him.] Zhong Sheng said, "That would be even better." The woman smiled broadly and left happily.

After the young man returned, Zhong Sheng went to Mei Sheng's house himself. He did not mention the woman's visit, but simply said, "I saw her by chance yesterday; she is truly beautiful. Inquiring with the neighbors, I learned her surname is Li, she is the daughter of a Confucian scholar, and I heard she is widowed at only twenty-one years old and is currently looking for a suitable husband. Seeing that you are a widower, I came to inform you. Such a beauty is rare; you must not miss this opportunity. If you personally go and ask her aunt to act as matchmaker, the matter will surely be settled." Mei Sheng was overjoyed and thanked her repeatedly. The next day, after preparing a small gift, he and Zhong Sheng went to ask the Tao couple to act as matchmakers. The elderly couple, seeing Mei Sheng's youthful handsomeness, readily agreed. Li secretly glanced at Mei Sheng and indeed, he was exceptionally handsome; she was secretly delighted and deeply grateful to Zhong Sheng. Old Tao told Li that he would take his daughter home and ask her opinion. Li naturally agreed, and Old Li also agreed. [Qian Gui and Zhong Sheng were Mei Sheng's matchmakers. Guang Shi and Liu Xian were also Mei Sheng's matchmakers. They brought together two good couples. Now, although Li Shi and Mei Sheng's marriage was arranged by Old Tao, it truly began with Zhong Sheng's matchmaking, and they too have brought together a good couple. Good matchmakers are rewarded, but why do some matchmakers in the world only harm other people's children?] Mei Sheng chose an auspicious day for the betrothal, and everything was very elaborate. He personally welcomed the bride to his home on the fourth day of the eighth lunar month. Mei Sheng saw that Li Shi was indeed incomparably beautiful, comparable to Xue Shi in her prime. Li also stole glances at Mei Sheng, finding him even more beautiful than when she had secretly spied on him before. A four-line poem describes the two: "

The groom's face is powdered, the bride's beauty is captivating; they lie side by side on the pillow, radiant this night. Their
love is as harmonious as a zither, a thousand pieces of gold cannot buy this precious night."

Their affection that night surpassed a hundred years of bliss. On the third day, they invited Li's father-in-law, Liu's mother-in-law, Tao's uncle, Yang's aunt, Li's maternal uncle, Yang's maternal uncle, and the Sang couple, along with many relatives from Li's family, including Gui and Bai, to a celebratory feast. Zhong Sheng was absent and could not attend. The relatives and friends celebrated for several days. The couple were as inseparable as fish and water, deeply grateful to Zhong Sheng for his matchmaking. Mei Sheng, having found his perfect match, didn't even attend the

wedding celebration. Truly: "To be a pair of lovebirds, what need is there for wealth? I'd rather be a pair of mandarin ducks than an immortal.

" But let's leave that aside for now. Now, let's talk about Huan E, Jia Wenwu, and Tong Zida, who, after forming an alliance, became incredibly close. They gathered in the morning and dispersed in the evening; seven or eight out of ten days they spent at the official's house, and two or three at Jia Wenwu's place. Knowing that Tong Zida was stingy, they never went to his house. One day, they came to the official's house again. To know where they sat together and what they did, please listen to the next chapter for details.

(End of Volume Nine)

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