Love and Desire [Complete] - 20

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Love and Desire (139)

Chapter 137

When Liu Yan heard Jin Ling mention the name Ouyang, she could no longer control her grief. Without a word, she turned away, tears streaming down her face. Jin Ling seemed to realize something and felt uneasy. She thought to herself that Liu Yan must have had a relationship with Ouyang Yiming, and she also sensed that Liu Yan and her current husband probably didn't have any real feelings for each other, and there might be something else going on. Now that she had brought up Liu Yan and Ouyang's past again, it might have stirred up some memories for Liu Yan that made her sad, and she felt extremely uneasy. So, embarrassed, she said, "Liu Yan, it's my fault for being so talkative. I shouldn't have brought up your past."

Liu Yan turned around, tears welling in her eyes, and said, "Jin Ling, you don't understand my situation, but it's okay for me to tell you. To be honest, I did date Ouyang Yiming for over a year. I loved him, and I will love him for the rest of my life. No other man can hold the same place in my heart as he does." Jin Ling was secretly amazed and asked, "Liu Yan, do you really care about him that much?" Liu Yan nodded and said, "Yes, no other man would make me care like this." Jin Ling asked, "What about Ouyang? Does he love you as much as you love him?" Liu Yan immediately felt a pang of loss and sighed, "At that time, I believed he loved me as much as I loved him, but I..." Jin Ling asked, "You didn't continue your relationship because your family wouldn't allow it... that's why you had to give it up?" Liu Yan thought for a moment, thinking to herself, she still couldn't reveal that she lost her virginity to Zhang Lei under those circumstances, which forced her to separate from Ouyang Yiming and marry Zhang Lei, whom she didn't love. Thinking of how her mother had gone to such lengths to separate her from Ouyang Yiming, Jinling felt another pang of pain in her heart. She said, "Yes, it was my mother who resolutely disagreed."

Jinling couldn't help but sigh inwardly. Being born into such a family, and being forced to marry the person you love, was a tragedy in itself. She secretly felt sorry for Liu Yan and Ouyang Yiming.

She thought about how Liu Yan, with another man in her heart, could possibly have developed feelings for her current husband. The reason she and her husband had no feelings for each other was entirely because Liu Yan had given her heart to Ouyang Yiming.

After thinking for a moment, she had to say something against her will to persuade her, saying, "Liu Yan, marriage is also about fate. Since you're married to Zhang Lei, transfer your feelings to him, and slowly, feelings will develop. Now that you have a child, stop thinking about Ouyang. Keeping these feelings in your heart will only cause you pain." Liu Yan said sadly, "How can I forget? I'll never forget in this lifetime." Jin

Ling couldn't help but worry about Liu Yan, saying, "Liu Yan, if you keep thinking like this, how can you have a good quality of life? I'm really worried about you. Forget what you should forget. After all, you're already another man's wife. These thoughts will inevitably affect your relationship with your husband. Knowing that it's impossible to marry Ouyang, just forget him. Liu Yan, I completely understand your feelings, but you must forget, otherwise your life and mood will not be happy."

Liu Yan shed tears again, and at this moment, she really wanted to tell her best friend what was on her mind. For so many years, she had no one to confide in, no one to listen to her innermost thoughts. Even her mother wasn't someone she could open up to. She had long wanted to pour out all her bitterness and grievances, but who could she tell? She could only keep it all bottled up inside, and this kind of suppressed bitterness was truly painful.

With tears streaming down her face, Liu Yan said, "Jinling, no one knows the bitterness in my heart, and you can't possibly understand it. You don't know, although Ouyang Yiming and I only dated for a little over a year, I cared so much about that relationship. You could say I gave all my emotions to Ouyang Yiming. I love him! I think you can understand this love because you and Liang Chao are truly in love. But when you have to break up with the person you love and live with a man you don't love at all, or rather, a man you can't love no matter what, can you imagine the bitterness in my heart? It's impossible to forget; I'll only love the person I love even more."

Jinling sat up, took a coat and put it on, looking at the tearful Liu Yan, feeling a pang of sorrow in her heart, and said, "Liu Yan, I understand your feelings for Ouyang, but... but you can't keep thinking about Ouyang Yiming now." "You must find a way to forget him, at least to fade his memory in your heart. Liu Yan, you're already married, how can you not forget him? Liu Yan, we're good friends, I know I'm advising you against my will, but I have to. We live real lives, the present is real, dwelling on the past is just a distant dream, only the present, the actual life, is real. Liu Yan, you must pull yourself together, forget the past, even though it's difficult, you must forget, after all, you are now Zhang Lei's wife, the mother of his child."

Liu Yan sat up, reached for her cotton coat and put it on, lowered her head and wept for a while before saying, "Jinling, I don't want to hide it from you anymore, Zhang Lei and I have been divorced for almost two years?" Jinling exclaimed in surprise, staring blankly at her, and after a long while asked urgently, "You, you've been divorced for almost two years? Why?" "Ouyang Yiming?" Liu Yan gently shook her head and said, "No, it's not entirely because of him. Zhang Lei and I have no feelings for each other, and we can't develop any. I feel like I'm suffering."

Jin Ling stared at Liu Yan with wide eyes and said, "You divorced him just for this? Liu Yan, you're so foolish! Didn't you think about how difficult it is for a divorced woman to raise a child?

How could you divorce so easily? No matter what, you and he are together, and your family is enviable. You are still a complete family. Even if you don't cherish it, you shouldn't give up. Have you considered the child? Children from single-parent families will also be affected in their future development. Besides, even if you don't consider these things, you should think about your future life. You're a woman raising a child alone. The child's education, the child's growth, everything will fall on your shoulders." "Why haven't I heard you mention these things before?"

Liu Yan said, "Jinling, don't say anymore. I've thought about all of this. I can't not divorce Zhang Lei. If you were in my position, you wouldn't be able to avoid divorce either. Putting aside the fact that I have no feelings for Zhang Lei, just based on what he did, I can't not divorce him." Jinling asked, "He... he did something to betray you?" Liu Yan said, "You probably can't believe it, but before he married me, he had a sexual relationship with one of my soldiers, and he kept it up until one day I caught them in bed. To be honest, I always knew he might have that kind of relationship with other women, but I couldn't tolerate him having that kind of relationship with one of my soldiers, and this soldier was someone I liked and admired."

Jinling was shocked at this point, staring wide-eyed and speechless for a long time. After recovering, she muttered to herself, "How could this be? How could this be?!" Liu Yan shook her head painfully. Jinling said, "I understand how you feel. How did you deal with this soldier?" Liu Yan said, "This soldier was sent to the training team and promoted to officer two years ago. After my divorce from Zhang Lei, he took me to Guangzhou." Jinling said angrily, "Then why didn't you punish her properly? This kind of woman should be taught a lesson!" Liu Yan smiled bitterly and said, "I thought about punishing her.

But then I thought it was all Zhang Lei's fault." Jinling said strangely, "You have such a heart, like a bodhisattva. If it were me, I would never have let her go." Liu Yan shook her head and said, "To be honest, I didn't feel too angry at the time. I actually found it very funny." Later, I thought about how I felt at the time. I realized I had no feelings for Zhang Lei at all, which is why I wasn't very angry.

Jin Ling shook her head, looked intently at Liu Yan, and thought for a moment before saying, "Liu Yan, I really didn't expect your love life to be like this. We talk on the phone often, but why don't you tell me what's on your mind?" Liu Yan said, "Sometimes I feel very down, and I really want to talk to you about it. But how much can I say on the phone, and how clearly can I explain it?"

Jin Ling nodded, her eyes filled with tears, and said, "Liu Yan, these past few years have really been hard on you." Tears streamed down her face as she spoke. Liu Yan said, "I didn't feel it was difficult, it's just that after the divorce, I miss Ouyang Yiming even more. I can't forget Ouyang Yiming."

Jin Ling glared at Liu Yan and said, "So what if you miss Ouyang Yiming? You're stupid. Why insist on having the child after the divorce? The child will still be his after the divorce. It's better this way; he can easily find another woman, while you have to devote so much energy to the child. Even if you care about the child, you should go find your own happiness! Now, even if you can't be with Ouyang Yiming, there are plenty of good men in the world. With your own qualities and your family, what kind of man can't you find?" She paused, then suddenly widened her eyes and looked at Liu Yan, saying, "You too! Since you care about Ouyang Yiming so much, and love him so much, why don't you go find him?" "Huh? Maybe he's not even going to get married yet?"

Liu Yan shook her head painfully and helplessly, saying, "Jinling, when I married Zhang Lei, it was me who broke up with Ouyang Yiming. I still feel heartbroken thinking about how devastated he was. I'm so sorry to him, how could I possibly face him? Besides, there's a very beautiful woman who loves him. I think you might have met that woman; when Ouyang was hospitalized, a female classmate of his often visited him." Jinling thought for a moment and said, "Oh, I remember now, there was a very beautiful female classmate who often visited him." Liu Yan nodded and said, "That's her, her name is Xu Hui." Jinling frowned and asked, "Did Ouyang also have feelings for her back then?" "They were in a relationship?"

Liu Yan shook her head and said, "At that time, they weren't in a relationship, but Ouyang told me that Xu Hui liked him. After Ouyang and I started dating, he was always troubled by Xu Hui's feelings for him. But Ouyang Yiming loved me, and Xu Hui's feelings for Ouyang were something Ouyang himself told me. When I broke up with Ouyang, I told him that I hoped he and Xu Hui would fall in love, and Ouyang said he definitely would. Although Ouyang said it in anger, I knew he would end up with Xu Hui because I had asked him before, and he said that if I hadn't come along, he and Xu Hui would have fallen in love sooner or later. On the day we broke up, Ouyang said he would be happy with Xu Hui. I believed him." "We're a perfect match in terms of both education and looks. Besides, I feel I'm no longer good enough for Ouyang. I'm a divorced woman; I was the one who initiated the breakup. Could any man accept me getting back together with him after my divorce? You know Ouyang is a very outstanding man; he'd look down on me if I did that. He couldn't possibly abandon Xu Hui to be with a divorced woman who hurt him. Xu Hui is so beautiful and loves him so much; how could I disturb them? Even if I went to see him, it wouldn't make much sense. Wouldn't it just make things awkward for both of us?"

Jin Ling nodded intermittently as Liu Yan spoke, then asked, "Liu Yan, you haven't heard from Ouyang at all?" Liu Yan shook her head and said, "No." "He's been working for three years now since graduating from university, and I think he and Xu Hui are probably married by now. The last time I saw Ouyang Yiming, he said the school was planning to let him stay on as a faculty member, and I think he's teaching at that university now. I really want to see him, but I don't have the courage to go to him; I can't interfere with his life." Jin Ling said, "Then you could try to find out indirectly. What if he's not married yet, and he's still thinking about you?"

Liu Yan smiled bitterly and said, "Jin Ling, isn't thinking like that just deceiving yourself? If I didn't know he had Xu Hui by his side, maybe I could still have some illusions. But I clearly know he has Xu Hui by his side, and there's such a beautiful woman who loves him, and yet I still fantasize." "Why bother with something like that? Think about it, even without Xu Hui by his side, with Ouyang Yiming's qualities, wouldn't women like him?"

Jin Ling nodded, sighed, and said, "Alas, you and Ouyang are a perfect example of being destined to be together but not to stay together. Liu Yan, since that's the case, you should find a way to forget him. If you know it's impossible, then don't think about it. Liu Yan, with your qualities, aren't you afraid that no man will like you or love you?"

Liu Yan said, "Jin Ling, I've thought about these things too, but I won't think about my personal life right now. I have Ru Han by my side, and I feel very secure. If I didn't have a child with me, I think I would have collapsed long ago."

Jin Ling said, "You're wrong. If you didn't have a child by your side, I think you..." "You should have thought about your own situation a long time ago. The child is both yours and Zhang Lei's; why should you sacrifice one of yours? You should have realized from the beginning that keeping the child with you would greatly impact your life. The child belongs to the Zhang family; no matter how much you raise him, he'll still belong to the Zhang family. They don't have to lift a finger, yet you have to sacrifice your youth for the child. It's not worth it for them. Of course, it hurts to see the child, being your own flesh and blood, but if you give all your love to the child, you'll inevitably sacrifice the life you deserve."

Liu Yan felt a pang of panic and said, "Jinling, don't say anymore. I've thought about all of this. Nothing can separate me from the child. I'm determined to raise this child." "I'll only think about my own affairs after I've raised the child to adulthood. I won't let anyone influence my love for the child."

Jin Ling couldn't help but feel a little anxious and asked, "Liu Yan, you're only in your twenties now. What age will you be by the time you raise the child? Haven't you given your entire youth to the child?"

Liu Yan said, "I'm willing, and I won't change my mind." Jin Ling said, "But this child isn't just yours; he's Zhang Lei's too. Why are you demeaning yourself like this?"

Liu Yan's tears streamed down her face, and she said, "Jin Ling, please don't say anymore."

For a moment, Liu Yan wanted to tell Jin Ling that the child was Ouyang Yiming's, but after thinking it over, she forced herself not to say it. Ru Han was Ouyang Yiming's child, and she couldn't tell anyone except her mother when she had no other choice. She believed that her mother would never tell anyone. She didn't want anyone to say that Ru Han was her and Ouyang Yiming's illegitimate child. Of course, she couldn't let Jin Ling know either. Regardless, it's much better for people to know that Ruhan is her child from her divorce with Zhang Lei than to say that Ruhan is an illegitimate child. She can't let her son suffer any injustice.

Jinling looked at Liu Yan, who lowered her head, and thought for a long time, unsure how to advise her. She was genuinely worried about Liu Yan and concerned for her. She wanted to help her but didn't know how; it seemed like she couldn't help at all.

Liu Yan said, "Jinling, please don't tell our comrades about this anymore. I don't want more people to know." Jinling nodded and said, "I know." Liu Yan said:

"To be honest, I really envy you and Liang Chao. Maybe it's just my bad luck; I'm destined to have no happy endings in relationships."

Jinling said, "Liu Yan, I still have to say, you can't ignore your personal life, even for the sake of the child. The child needs both maternal and paternal love as they grow up. Can you give them both? Even if you find a good man, he can still provide that." Liu Yan said, "Unless I don't have children with him, is that even possible? And would he agree? Jinling, to be honest with you, I don't even look at ordinary men, but outstanding ones..." "Even if I find a man, it's impossible for me not to have his children. Having a child with him would inevitably affect my feelings for Ruhan. I can't divide my love from Ruhan to another child." Jinling said, "Your thinking is too extreme. Even if you remarry and have more children, they'll still be your children." Liu Yan said, "But he won't love Ruhan like a biological father would." Jinling said, "That's not necessarily true! Some men will, as long as they love you."

Liu Yan thought to herself, "Jinling, you don't know that this child is mine and Ouyang Yiming's. Can I marry someone else and divide my love for my and Ouyang Yiming's child to another child? No, I won't have more children with anyone else, so I can't marry another man. Besides, will there be a man I can truly love and accept?" Liu Yan

said, "We'll talk about it later!" Jinling looked at her. They looked at each other, and Liu Yan took off the cotton coat she was wearing and put it aside, saying, "Let's go to sleep."

After lying down, Jinling kept thinking about Liu Yan, feeling frustrated that she couldn't help Liu Yan at all. After a while, a thought suddenly occurred to her: perhaps Ouyang Yiming also loved Liu Yan, or perhaps he wasn't dating Xu Hui yet. Why not go to Ouyang Yiming's university and talk to him?

Instantly, she felt how naive and ridiculous her thinking was. It had been so many years, and Ouyang Yiming had such a beautiful woman by his side; how could he not be with that woman!

After thinking for a while, she finally decided to visit Ouyang Yiming at his university on her way back from the north, when she passed through Jinling. She wanted to see how he was doing, and what if something had happened to him? She had nothing to repay Liu Yan for. If Ouyang Yiming didn't have another woman, she had to tell him about Liu Yan's feelings for him, regardless of whether he could accept her back. If he was already married, or engaged to that beautiful woman, then she wouldn't need to bring up Liu Yan.

Although she knew in her heart that Ouyang Yiming couldn't possibly not be in love with Xu Hui or another woman, she still decided to see him on her way back.

She hoped that Ouyang Yiming still loved Liu Yan as much as she loved him, that he hadn't fallen in love with Xu Hui, and that Ouyang Yiming and Liu Yan, the two lovers, would eventually be together. But she also knew that all of this was extremely unlikely. Just as she imagined, would Ouyang Yiming still love Liu Yan? Would he still accept that Liu Yan was married with a child? Would he still accept the hurt Liu Yan caused him by breaking up with him and marrying someone else?

Regardless, she decided to meet Ouyang Yiming. She hoped for a miracle, hoped to do something for Liu Yan, to repay her kindness. Of course, she didn't know what the outcome would be after meeting Ouyang Yiming, so she couldn't tell Liu Yan about this idea now.

After leaving Liu Yan's city, Jin Ling told Liang Chao about Liu Yan's situation. Liang Chao was also surprised and moved. When Jinling mentioned her plan to stop in Jinling to see Ouyang Yiming on her way back from the north, Liang Chao said, "That's pointless. I think even if Ouyang hasn't married or fallen in love with any woman, he wouldn't accept a woman who hurt him." Jinling said, "Maybe not, it wouldn't hurt to see her." Liang Chao wanted to say something more, but Jinling said, "Don't say anything more, I'm determined to see Ouyang." Liang Chao smiled and agreed.

On her return journey from the north to Hangzhou, she stopped in Jinling. Although Hangzhou and Jinling aren't far apart, she never returned to the hospital that held both her happy memories and the ridicule she had suffered. After getting off the bus here, Liang Chao asked Jin Ling if she wanted to go to the hospital to see her. Jin Ling thought for a moment, still feeling a little uneasy, and said, "I really want to go see them. We didn't even mention it to my comrades when we got married, but I really miss them and the department we used to work in. But I'm afraid they'll talk about what happened back then." Liang Chao said, "We're husband and wife now, there's nothing shameful about it. Since you're here, just go see them, what else can you do?" Jin Ling thought for a while and said, "Okay, if we keep hiding from them like this, we might lose contact eventually. Going this time will make things natural. Okay, let's go." After a while, she instructed Liang Chao, "Don't mention Liu Yan to anyone you meet." Liang Chao agreed.

Jin Ling and Liang Chao got off the bus and went to the university where Ouyang Yiming used to study. The school had already started. Jin Ling entered the school and inquired about Ouyang Yiming, but none of the students knew of any teachers with the surname Ouyang. Jin Ling and Liang Chao both felt strange. Could it be that Ouyang Yiming wasn't at this school? Liang Chao then asked Jin Ling if she had misheard Liu Yan's explanation. Jin Ling replied, "Liu Yan clearly said that." After thinking for a moment, she said, "Things might have changed." She then decided to ask some professors.

When she met one professor, she asked about Ouyang Yiming. This professor, who had taught Ouyang Yiming, told Jin Ling that Ouyang Yiming hadn't stayed on as a teacher but had been recruited by a high-tech research institute in his hometown. The mayor of Panzhou City personally sent a car to pick him up when he left. Jin Ling then asked if he knew whether Ouyang Yiming was married. The professor said that Ouyang Yiming had publicly announced his relationship with his classmate Xu Hui before graduation. However, Xu Hui was assigned to work in Shanghai, and it was unknown whether she was married now. Jin Ling then asked for the address of the research institute where Ouyang Yiming worked. The professor said he didn't know the exact address, but she could find it in Panzhou City. Jin Ling then wrote down the Panzhou City High-Tech Research Institute where Ouyang Yiming worked in her notebook. After thanking the professor, she left the school.

Although Jinling and Liang Chao were somewhat disappointed, the fact that Ouyang and Xu Hui fell in love was within their expectations. However, Jinling, thinking of Liu Yan's love for Ouyang, still felt resentful. So she said to Liang Chao, "I want to go to Panzhou." Liang Chao stared at her and asked, "To see that Ouyang?" Jinling said, "I want to see him, tell him about Liu Yan's current situation, and tell him about Liu Yan's feelings for him. I think, even if there's only a sliver of hope, I hope they can be together. Liu Yan is suffering so much; what can we do for her?"

Liang Chao thought for a moment and said, "Jinling, I understand your feelings. I also really want to do something for Liu Yan, but we can't. You heard that Ouyang and his classmate went public with their relationship at school. We don't even know if they've gotten married in two or three years, but even if they haven't, they should be engaged by now. Even if Ouyang gets together with Liu Yan, aren't we just breaking up another couple? Besides, Ouyang simply can't leave his current girlfriend to accept Liu Yan. Liu Yan is already..." "A married woman with a child—would Ouyang accept someone who's been married before and has a child? Besides, it was Liu Yan who broke up with him; no man could accept that. You also said Ouyang's classmate is very beautiful. Do you think Ouyang would give up his classmate and turn back to Liu Yan? Absolutely not. Whether Ouyang is married or not, it's awkward for you to go see him like this. You're not very familiar with him. If he's married or engaged, talking about Liu Yan will definitely hurt his feelings, and Ouyang might even say something hurtful. We came to this school hoping to find out about Ouyang, and we now know they've made their relationship public while still in school. Forget it, there's no point in going to see Ouyang. In the future, you should often advise Liu Yan to find someone suitable."

Jin Ling agreed with Liang Chao's words. She had met Xu Hui; she was an ethereal beauty. How could Ouyang Yiming not like her? Even after meeting Ouyang Yiming, knowing he and Xu Hui had confirmed their relationship, she couldn't very well tell him about Liu Yan.

She pondered silently for a while, still hoping to gain some insight from seeing Ouyang Yiming. What if Ouyang Yiming wasn't married or engaged, or what if he and Xu Hui, though publicly acknowledging their relationship in school, hadn't succeeded due to work separations? Then Ouyang Yiming might be able to accept Liu Yan. After all, they had once deeply loved each other, and it wasn't that Liu Yan intentionally betrayed him; she had to break up with him because of family opposition… But such a thought was so far-fetched! Jin Ling also knew Ouyang Yiming was an outstanding person. Even if he hadn't continued his relationship with Xu Hui, how could other girls not like him? How could he not have dated or married in all these years? Besides, even if Ouyang Yiming and Xu Hui were working in different places, how could he have broken up with such a beautiful woman like Xu Hui? How could Xu Hui possibly separate from such a handsome, talented, and accomplished man as Ouyang Yiming? Besides, as Liang Chao said, how could Ouyang Yiming possibly accept that Liu Yan was already married and had Zhang Lei's child with him? It was all impossible. But who knows if there might be a chance? What if there really was?

Jin Ling said to Liang Chao, "I still want to see Ouyang." Liang Chao stared at her wide-eyed again and asked, "Are you crazy? This is completely hopeless, why bother..." Jin Ling said, "What if there's a chance? Even if there's only a one in ten thousand chance, I want to see Ouyang Yiming." She paused and asked, "Liang Chao, if there's this chance, we'll have repaid Liu Yan's kindness in this life. Besides, given Liu Yan's family background, I think Ouyang Yiming might not care that Liu Yan is already married and has a child. If they can get married, they can have their own children."

Liang Chao said with disgust, "Jinling, don't forget, it was Liu Yan who broke up with Ouyang in the first place. Ouyang wouldn't care that much about Liu Yan's family; no man would care that much about Liu Yan's family." Jinling said, "But now Liu Yan is wholeheartedly in love with Ouyang. Based on Liu Yan's love for him, I think Ouyang will consider it." Liang Chao said, "How do you know if Ouyang will still love Liu Yan in the next few years? Even if Ouyang broke up with Xu Hui, he won't lack female admirers. Why should we make these pointless efforts?" "Power? Forget it, let's drop the idea. There's no point in going to see Ouyang."

Jin Ling said, "I always hope there'll be a chance. What's the harm in going? Panzhou isn't that far from here. We passed through there on our way here, it's only a few hours away. If Liu Yan hadn't said he was teaching here, we would have gotten off there if we had known Ouyang had already returned to Panzhou. You heard about the sights in Panzhou on the bus, we could have just gone there for a visit."

Liang Chao frowned and looked at her for a while before saying, "Since you're so insistent, I won't say anything more. Alright then." "Let's just treat it as a trip. We don't have much vacation time left, so we can only stay for a day or two. There's something I need to tell you. If we see Ouyang Yiming there, whether he's married or engaged, we absolutely cannot mention Liu Yan's current situation, otherwise it will hurt Ouyang's feelings." Jin Ling said, "I know. If Ouyang Yiming is really married or engaged, we won't mention Liu Yan." Liang Chao smiled bitterly and shook his head, saying, "Going to Panzhou is really pointless." Jin

Ling smiled and said, "I really hope there will be that one... " "I won't have any regrets if it's really not true, otherwise I'll always feel uneasy." Liang Chao laughed and said, "I don't want you to always have such regrets, go!" Jin Ling smiled, put her hands together and said "Amitabha" and said, "I hope there will be that one thing, if there really is that one thing, Liu Yan's life will be very happy." Liang Chao shook his head and said, "I hope so." He paused and asked, "Then will we come to the hospital to see her when we come back?" Jin Ling said, "If we have time, we will come, if we don't have time, we will go directly from Panzhou back to Hangzhou."

Love and Desire (140)

Chapter 138

Xu Hui returned to Shanghai on February 26th. This day was the tenth day of the first lunar month. The unit gave these returning personnel half a month to visit their relatives. The next day, Xu Hui called Ouyang Yiming and said that she would stay in Suzhou for a few days and then come to his place.

Four days later, Xu Hui came to Panzhou. Before coming, she called Ouyang Yiming, and Ouyang Yiming drove to the train station to pick her up.

Having not seen each other for two years, this couple, who could be considered husband and wife, clasped hands tightly the moment they met at the station exit. Their eyes met, brimming with tears.

In Ouyang Yiming's eyes, Xu Hui appeared even more elegant, graceful, and beautiful; in Xu Hui's eyes, Ouyang Yiming appeared even more handsome, dashing, and mature. Gazing at each other, their hearts fluttered.

Xu Hui looked at Ouyang Yiming and said, "You haven't changed at all." Ouyang Yiming chuckled and said, "How could I change?" They smiled at each other. Ouyang Yiming bent down to take Xu Hui's suitcase. Xu Hui asked, "Where are we going now?" Ouyang Yiming asked, "Aren't we going home?" Xu Hui said, "When we get home, Mom and Dad will be in class, so don't disturb them. Let's go to your workplace first, and see Dean Ouyang's office." Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "That's fine."

As they walked, Xu Hui said, "The day after I got back to Shanghai, I went to Meizi's school. Meizi is getting more and more beautiful." Ouyang Yiming said, "Yes, girls change a lot as they grow up!" Xu Hui smiled and asked, "Do you think I've changed?" Ouyang Yiming turned his head and looked at her, saying, "You've become more beautiful too." Xu Hui giggled.

After stopping at the back of the car, Ouyang Yiming opened the tailgate and put Xu Hui's suitcase inside. He then walked to the door and opened it. Xu Hui asked, "Where's the driver?" Ouyang Yiming smiled and said,

"Isn't that me?" Xu Hui looked surprised and said, "You? When did you learn to drive?" Ouyang Yiming laughed and said, "I learned after we got the new car. Get in."

Xu Hui looked at him, walked to the other side of the car, opened the door, and sat in the front passenger seat. Looking at Ouyang Yiming, she said, "Why didn't you tell me you were learning to drive? Is this car just for fun?

You're really something, having a driver but insisting on driving yourself!" Ouyang Yiming laughed and said, "It's more convenient to drive myself!" Xu Hui said, "Driving is so dangerous." Ouyang Yiming said, "It's not as dangerous as you think. Nothing is safe, even riding in a car is dangerous. It's okay, I have a driver's license." Xu Hui glanced at him and said, "You must be careful in the future, drive slowly." Ouyang Yiming said:

“I know.”

He reached out and grabbed Xu Hui’s hand, his voice trembling, “I really missed you so much.” Xu Hui squeezed his hand tightly and said, “Me too, I missed you so much.”

At that moment, Ouyang Yiming felt an urge to pull Xu Hui into his arms and kiss her. They looked at each other, speechless. Xu Hui’s chest heaved, and she whispered, “Let’s go.”

Ouyang Yiming nodded. They reversed the car and started driving.

Once on the road, Xu Hui nervously looked ahead, repeatedly saying, “Slow down.” Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, “Don’t be so nervous, okay? Your anxiety is affecting mine.”

Xu Hui stopped talking. After a while, seeing that Ouyang Yiming was driving smoothly, she felt a little relieved and said, "If I had known you were learning to drive, I definitely wouldn't have let you learn. You should drive less in the future." Ouyang Yiming said, "Look at you, there's nothing to be surprised about when you drive. Just be careful." Xu Hui said, "I always feel that this is a very dangerous thing. Hey, you drove to my house during the New Year, didn't you?"

Ouyang Yiming said, "No, I brought a driver with me that time. I didn't get my license before the New Year. Once I got my license, I drove myself."

Xu Hui said jokingly, "You, you're just showing off. Do you really want to drive?" Ouyang Yiming laughed and said, "Driving is really addictive. Do you want to drive? I'll teach you." Xu Hui said, "I don't want to learn. I'm too scared." Ouyang Yiming smiled. Xu Hui said, "Your research institute has developed quite rapidly in the past two years." Ouyang Yiming said, "Yes, I didn't expect it to develop so quickly. Most of my projects are exported. Several of our machinery products have also entered the international market. At this rate, our research institute will soon be well-known throughout the country."

Xu Hui smiled and said, "You're already quite famous. When I returned to my unit, I heard people talking about you. Your project has caused quite a stir in the chemical industry, and some research institutes in China are already familiar with you, Ouyang Yiming." Ouyang Yiming chuckled and said, "Really? I didn't know I'd suddenly become so famous." Xu Hui said, "This project was very promising to begin with. Do you have any plans to do other projects now?" Ouyang Yiming said, "I'm currently collecting data on amino acids and plan to start with research on aspartic acid.

" Hui said, "Yes, research is your main job. Even as the dean, you can't forget your profession." Ouyang Yiming said, "How could I not know? Don't worry, I'm in charge of scientific research now, so of course I know what I'm doing. It might take a little time, but not much." Xu Hui said, "That's good. You should develop in many areas anyway, and being a leader will also help you develop your abilities. I see you're more mature than before, and you have some of the qualities of a leader." Ouyang Yiming said, "Really? I've always been quite dignified, haven't I?" Xu Hui chuckled and said, "You're getting all worked up."

As soon as they arrived at the gate of the research institute, Xu Hui saw that the old-fashioned gate had been replaced. The gate was much wider, and the pillars on both sides were inlaid with brown marble. A bronze plaque hung on one of the pillars, bearing the name of the research institute. Xu Hui said with some surprise, "The research institute is really impressive now." At this moment, two young men ran out of the guardhouse and opened the gate.

Xu Hui leaned forward, looking up at the building in the courtyard, and asked, "Was this building newly built or is it being renovated?" Ouyang Yiming replied, "Renovated." Looking at the gleaming gold characters "Panzhou High-tech Research Institute" on the building's wall, and the uniform white porcelain finish of the entire exterior, Xu Hui said, "I didn't expect it to be so different from two years ago." Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "Yes, it's changed a lot." Xu Hui said, "It looks like a very large research institute now." Ouyang Yiming said, "It's also about appearances. Our research institute's technology transfer has been very successful, and many out-of-town clients want to come, so of course we need to decorate it grandly."

As he spoke, the car stopped in front of the building. Ouyang Yiming and Xu Hui got out of the car and entered the lobby. Xu Hui saw that the interior was also very tastefully decorated, with marble floors throughout and many evergreen bonsai trees. The walls were adorned with wainscoting, and everything was neat and tidy. Xu Hui nodded as she looked around, saying, "It's quite nice." The third floor housed the offices of the institute's leaders. Upon entering the lobby, someone greeted Ouyang Yiming. Xu Hui felt a surge of pride hearing them respectfully address him as "Dean Ou."

The third-floor corridor, carpeted in red, quickly fell silent as the footsteps descended the stairs. Ouyang Yiming led Xu Hui to the end of the corridor, stopping at a door. Xu Hui looked up and saw a gleaming brass plaque above the door that read "Vice Dean's Office."

Ouyang Yiming opened the door and led Xu Hui inside. The office was about forty square meters. In the center, slightly towards the back, stood a large, purplish-red desk with a white telephone, pen holder, and other office supplies. A lamp sat to the right, and a bonsai tree stood in front of the desk. Behind the desk was a high-backed, purplish-red leather chair. Against the wall behind the desk was a row of purplish-red glass-door filing cabinets, and a large cycad sat beside one of the tables. Against the south wall stood a black three-seater leather sofa with a brown fiberglass coffee table in front of it. Against the north wall were a pair of single sofas with a vertical coffee table in the middle.

Xu Hui stood in the room, looking around for a while, then said with surprise, "You guys are quite luxurious. Even our dean's office isn't as nice as yours." Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "This fully demonstrates the current strength of our institute." Xu Hui said, "I didn't expect you to change so much in just two years." Ouyang Yiming said, "In the past two years, our institute's net income has reached nearly 40 million, which is incomparable to many other institutions." Xu Hui said, "It's all thanks to your good policies." Ouyang Yiming said, "Our dormitory building is now basically completed and is currently being painted. I have a three-bedroom apartment, nearly 100 square meters, as a reward." Xu Hui stared wide-eyed and said, "Really? A reward? It belongs to us?" Ouyang Yiming said, "Of course, it will be our new home from now on." Xu Hui smiled and nodded.

Ouyang Yiming stood beside Xu Hui, watching her, panting heavily. Xu Hui could feel Ouyang Yiming's presence and turned to face him. Ouyang Yiming suddenly embraced Xu Hui, his lips meeting hers. Xu Hui responded, the burst of passion from two years of longing making them forget where they were; it seemed all their yearning was poured out in their tight embrace and kiss… Xu Hui was the first to realize what was happening. She pushed Ouyang Yiming away, her heart pounding, her face flushed, and said, “Oh no! What if someone sees us in the office? They'll laugh at us to death!” Ouyang Yiming chuckled. Xu Hui lowered her head shyly, took a few steps, and sat down on the sofa. Ouyang Yiming turned and poured a glass of water, placing it in front of Xu Hui. Xu Hui looked at him and suddenly giggled. Ouyang Yiming looked at her in confusion. Xu Hui blushed and said, "Hurry up and wipe your mouth, you still have lipstick on it." Ouyang Yiming couldn't help but laugh, saying, "If someone sees this, they'll immediately know what we were doing." Xu Hui laughed, "You still have the nerve to say that? Otherwise, if someone sees, won't it damage your image as the vice president?!" Ouyang Yiming chuckled foolishly, turned around, and hurriedly went to the table, opened the drawer, and grabbed some tissues to wipe his mouth.

After sitting down on another sofa, Ouyang Yiming excitedly said to Xu Hui, "I'll tell you something you won't believe." Xu Hui stared at him. Ouyang Yiming leaned closer and said, "Do you know how much my sales commission was before the New Year?" Xu Hui shook her head. Ouyang Yiming said, "I'm a little scared, nearly six hundred thousand." Xu Hui was speechless with surprise.

Ouyang Yiming just smiled at her. Xu Hui, regaining her composure, said, "So much money? Is it appropriate to take this much money?" Ouyang Yiming said, "This is our institute's reward policy; contributions will be rewarded. However, Dean Wang and I didn't take this money home; we're keeping it in the finance department. We'll take it whenever we need it." Xu Hui said, "Oh, that's right. Don't use this money yet. Let it stay there for a while." Ouyang Yiming said, "Actually, all the researchers below have already taken their commissions home; only Dean Wang and I kept it in the finance department." Xu Hui nodded and said, "It's good that you two leaders did this."

Ouyang Yiming smiled, his eyes fixed on Xu Hui's face. Xu Hui blushed suddenly and said shyly, "What are you looking at?!" Ouyang Yiming grabbed her hand and said, "I just missed you so much." Xu Hui looked at him charmingly and affectionately and said, "Me too, I just wanted to see you right away." She glanced at the door, quickly let go of his hand, and said, "Don't do this, in the office..." She stood up, blushing as she spoke. Ouyang Yiming chuckled and said, "It's alright, who doesn't knock before coming in!"

Xu Hui said, "That's not proper." She glanced at him and said, "I should go and say hello to Dean Wang." Ouyang Yiming said, "He's on a business trip to Beijing." Xu Hui smiled and said,

"That's perfect, I don't want to see him anyway, but it's polite not to see him if he's here." Ouyang Yiming said, "Dean Wang treats me very well." Xu Hui said, "I can see that too. Mayor Tang values you even more."

Xu Hui sat down and said, "Yiming, we've had our marriage certificate for two years now, we should discuss with our parents when to hold the wedding, what's your opinion?" Ouyang Yiming said:

“Of course I want it to happen as soon as possible,” Xu Hui said. “A few days ago at my house, I told my mom that we had already gotten our marriage certificate.” Ouyang Yiming asked, “Did your mom blame you?” Xu Hui smiled and said, “My mom was very surprised. But I explained to her that it was my idea, and that when I came to your house to say we were getting the marriage certificate, I lied and said that she and Dad had agreed. My mom was a little angry, saying that such a big thing shouldn’t have been done without discussing it with them. I said that we didn’t have a wedding ceremony, it was just getting a certificate, and she scolded me a few times but didn’t say anything more.” After saying that, she smiled playfully at Ouyang Yiming and said, “Actually, I was also embarrassed when I told my mom about it.”

Ouyang Yiming said, “Actually, you should have told your parents back then. I was quite surprised when you told me on the phone before the New Year that your parents didn’t know.” Xu Hui asked:

"To be honest, are you blaming me?" Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "A little." Xu Hui laughed and said, "If you're blaming me, so be it. What else can you do to me? Hey, you didn't tell your parents about this, did you?" Ouyang Yiming said, "How could I dare to tell them? Wouldn't they scold you if I did? Didn't you tell them on the phone?" Xu Hui said, "I couldn't tell them, otherwise they would definitely talk about me."

Ouyang Yiming pointed at her and said, "You always do things that people don't expect." Xu Hui wanted to say, "Wasn't it you who forced me to do this?" but she moved her lips and didn't say it.

Xu Hui said, "I might be busy for a while after I come back from my studies. But the hospital will understand if we get married." Ouyang Yiming said, "You should talk to your hospital leaders about this. I don't know if your hospital will make any arrangements for you." Xu Hui blushed and said, "I think we'll definitely be involved in the project. Let's not have children after we get married." Ouyang Yiming's heart fluttered and he nodded.

Xu Hui said, "No matter what, we're going to have the wedding this year." Ouyang Yiming said, "Yes, the houses here are ready for occupancy quickly, but it will take some time to renovate after we get the keys." Xu Hui nodded, thought for a moment, and said, "I think we should get married in the old house; I really prefer that place." Ouyang Yiming asked, "So we won't be living in the house here?" Xu Hui said, "We'll just leave the house here for now."

Ouyang Yiming thought for a moment and nodded, saying, "As long as you like it, that's fine. The old house is spacious. By the way, our school buildings are going to be demolished soon to build apartment buildings. The whole family will be moving to the old house in a while." Xu Hui said, "That would be great. I was thinking that Grandpa must be lonely living alone in such a big yard all day. It'll be more lively now." Ouyang Yiming said, "Yes, I sometimes worry about Grandpa. I originally suggested moving to the old house, but Grandpa said it was fine, he still eats at the school. I've been busy here, so we haven't moved. Since you want to get married in the old house, I'll have two rooms in the west wing renovated in a while. I'm thinking of installing a telephone in the old house in a few days, it'll be convenient later." Xu Hui nodded.

Ouyang Yiming then asked Xu Hui to tell him about her experiences in Germany. After a while, Xu Hui said she wanted to go to the industrial area behind the house, so the two of them went downstairs to the backyard.

The changes here were quite significant; many of the empty plots Xu Hui had seen last time had been converted into factories. The road was straight, lined with pines and cypresses, and flowers and trees grew in the open spaces. The makeshift factory behind the building had been demolished, and a rather beautiful canteen had been built in its place. The boiler room's tall chimney billowed smoke.

Passing by the workshop where Ouyang Yiming was researching his project, the two went inside. The workers respectfully greeted him as "Dean Ou" before continuing their work. Ouyang Yiming explained things to Xu Hui from time to time. They then went to the finished product workshop to look at the manufactured goods. Xu Hui grabbed some, examined them, and even tasted a little with her finger. At that moment, the workshop manager rushed in, startled to see Xu Hui, and asked, "When did you return to China, Sister?"

Xu Hui looked up at him, momentarily forgetting who he was, and smiled, saying, "I've been back for a few days." The manager then turned to Ouyang Yiming. Ouyang Yiming said, "We're fine, just looking around. You go ahead and get back to work." The manager then said to Xu Hui, "Sister, come sit in the office later." Xu Hui smiled and said, "No, we'll just look around a bit more. You go ahead and get back to work." The manager smiled and turned to leave. Xu Hui quietly asked Ouyang Yiming, "Who is this person?" Ouyang Yiming said, "You've met him before, he was my assistant during the experiment." Xu Hui suddenly realized, thinking to herself, "No wonder he called me 'Sister' when we met."

After leaving the workshop, Ouyang Yiming went to the dormitory building, which was almost completed. A man in his thirties greeted him from afar, stopping with a broad smile and asking, "Dean Ou, are you here to take a look?" Ouyang Yiming replied, "Just taking a stroll. How is it? When can it be handed over?" The man said, "Your project has such high standards, we must do a thorough job for you. It can be inspected in about a month." Ouyang Yiming said, "What if it doesn't pass inspection? Rework is a real hassle." The man said, "Dean Ou, don't worry, our project is definitely a high-quality project." Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "I hope so."

The man moved closer to Ouyang Yiming and said, "Dean Ou, do you have time to get together tonight?" Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "There's no need for that. As long as the project is done well, that's enough. As long as it passes inspection, our research institute will definitely pay you for the project on time." The man said, "Don't worry, we will definitely guarantee the quality." He turned to look at Xu Hui and smiled, then turned back to Ouyang Yiming and said, "Dean Ou, I'll go take a look over there." Ouyang Yiming nodded.

Ouyang Yiming pointed upstairs and said, "Look, that's our apartment on the second floor." Xu Hui nodded, following Ouyang Yiming's finger. Ouyang Yiming asked, "Want to go take a look?" Xu Hui said, "It's under construction, so we can't go now. There'll be plenty of time later." After looking around for a while, the two went back the way they came.

They chatted for a while in the office, and just before the end of the workday, the driver called to ask if they needed a ride home. Ouyang Yiming told him he would. After hanging up, he chatted with Xu Hui for a while longer before going downstairs to go home.

The old man was sitting in the main room. When he saw Xu Hui and Ouyang Yiming enter, he hurriedly got up and greeted them with a big smile. Xu Hui rushed forward and called out, "Grandpa!" The old man smiled and responded. Xu Hui smiled and said, "Grandpa's still so healthy." The old man laughed heartily. Xu Hui looked at Ouyang Anping, who was following behind the old man, and called him "Uncle." Just then, she heard Mao Yuqin's voice behind her: "Xu Hui, still calling him Uncle?" Xu Hui turned around and looked at Mao Yuqin, who came out of the kitchen. Her face flushed, she shyly called out "Mom." Mao Yuqin replied, "You shouldn't call him Uncle anymore. You should call him Dad." Xu Hui turned to look at Ouyang Anping and called out, "Dad." Everyone laughed and went inside.

Just as she sat down, a young man who was over 1.7 meters tall and wore glasses entered through the front door. Before he even entered, he called out to Xu Hui, "Sister Hui, when did you arrive?" Xu Hui was momentarily stunned. Then she saw that it was Ouyang Dongdong. She immediately stood up and said with a smile, "It's Dongdong! I didn't recognize him at first. How did he grow so tall?" Upon closer inspection, Ouyang Dongdong's face looked remarkably similar to Ouyang Yiming's.

Ouyang Dongdong blushed shyly and asked, "Sister, when did you get back?" Xu Hui replied, "I've been back in China for several days, and I just got home. Dongdong, your eyesight has deteriorated too?"

Mao Yuqin said, "Of course, he and Yiming both take after me, only Meizi's is a little better." Ouyang Dongdong said, "Sister, please sit down." Xu Hui nodded. Ouyang Dongdong went into her room.

Xu Hui sat down on the sofa, turned to look at Mao Yuqin, and asked, "Is Dongdong about to take the college entrance exam?" Mao Yuqin said, "He'll be taking it next year." Xu Hui asked, "How are his grades?" Mao Yuqin said, "Not bad, I don't think he'll have any problems next year. Dongdong has high aspirations; he's determined to get into Peking University." Xu Hui smiled and said, "Really? That's good!" Mao Yuqin said, "His grades are quite good." Xu Hui said, "After returning from Germany, I went to Meizi's school. Meizi is graduating this year. I've already spoken to my uncle and asked him to find a way to help Meizi stay in Shanghai." Mao Yuqin said, "I asked her during the holidays, and she said it would be good if she could stay in Shanghai. It's just that she doesn't know if you and Yiming will settle down in Shanghai in the future, and she wants to be with you." Xu Hui said, "Yiming and I are still undecided. I just got back from studying..." "Even if he wanted to transfer here, our institute might not let him. Yiming's career here is booming, and I can't hold him back, nor can he give up here. Anyway, I'll be in Shanghai for the next few years." Ouyang Yiming said, "Whether we're in Shanghai or not won't affect Meizi. Xu Hui, you handle Meizi's affairs. If it costs money, we'll pay for it." Xu Hui nodded and said, "I told my uncle the same thing."

Ouyang Anping then said, "Yuqin, go cook dinner. We'll talk about these things after dinner tonight." Mao Yuqin hurriedly stood up and said, "Look at me, I was so busy talking that I forgot to cook."

Ouyang Yiming said, "Never mind, let's go to the street for mutton soup. Xu Hui hasn't had it in a long time." Xu Hui smiled and said, "I really want to eat it." Everyone agreed, so the family went to a large mutton restaurant on the street and got a private room. They didn't drink much alcohol. After dinner, they returned home. Except for Ouyang Dongdong, who went back to his room to study, the family sat in the main room drinking tea and talking.

Mao Yuqin said, "Xu Hui, your grandfather is here now, and we'd like to hear your and Yiming's opinions. When do you plan to hold the wedding?" Xu Hui said, "I talked about this in Yiming's office this afternoon. We think we definitely want to hold it this year, at a suitable time. I'll talk to our department leaders when I get back." Mao Yuqin said, "That's only natural.

Have you talked to your parents?" Xu Hui said, "I talked to them when I got home a few days ago. They said it's up to Yiming and me, any time is fine." Mao Yuqin said, "You've already got your marriage certificate, now it's just a matter of holding the wedding ceremony. I think you can both find some time to do it. It'll put your grandfather, your father, and me at ease." Xu Hui said, "Yiming and I will listen to Grandpa and you." Mao Yuqin smiled and said, "Of course we want you to hurry, but you're both quite busy right now." Xu Hui said, "Then we'll try to hurry too. Okay, Grandpa?" The old man smiled happily and nodded repeatedly.

Ouyang Yiming said, "Xu Hui means that when we get married, we should live in the old house, so that the whole family can be together and it will be lively." The old man said, "That's a good idea." Mao Yuqin said, "Okay, our house is going to be demolished soon, and we'll all have to move to the old house for more than a year." Xu Hui said, "Grandpa won't be lonely then." Mao Yuqin said, "Yes, Xu Hui really knows how to take care of your grandpa." The old man chuckled happily.

Mao Yuqin said, "The old house can't compare to the new house in terms of conditions. I don't know if you can get used to living there." Xu Hui said, "I've lived in an apartment building for many years. I really want to live in a place with a yard. The old house has a better environment." The old man chimed in, "The old house is down-to-earth. What's so good about living in an apartment building?" Mao Yuqin laughed and said, "Yes, I think your grandfather would love for Yiming and Xu Hui to be by his side every day." The old man laughed.

Ouyang Yiming said, "I'll have someone renovate the house when I have time. Grandpa, which room do you think Xu Hui and I should live in?" The old man said, "Why are there so many rules these days?

I think you two should live in the west wing, and your parents can live in the east wing after a while. We have many houses in our courtyard, we can't accommodate them all." Ouyang Yiming said, "I think we should live in the west wing." He turned to Mao Yuqin and asked, "Has the school set a date for demolishing the houses?" Mao Yuqin said, "The school can't wait, they've already held two meetings, and some families can't find houses right now, so it's dragging on." Ouyang Yiming said, "We'll have to move sooner or later. How about this, I'll have someone renovate the house soon so we can move as soon as possible. I'm thinking of repainting the whole house. I

also want to install a telephone in the old house, so we can use it from now on ." "It's convenient," Ouyang Anping said. "You can keep our place simple. Once the school finishes building the apartments, our family will get a two-bedroom unit." Mao Yuqin said, "Yes, you should renovate the place you and Xu Hui will be staying in. No matter how many houses we have in our old family home, we have to have the school's housing; it's what we deserve."

Xu Hui said, "Of course."

Mao Yuqin said, "Xu Hui, after you set a wedding date, your father and I will go to your house. It's our custom here. Your family raised you and sent you to my house, so it's only right that we visit your parents and grandmother and discuss your marriage with them." Xu Hui said, "Yiming and I will discuss it and set a date as soon as possible. We still need to ask our college leaders for permission; we absolutely have to hold the wedding this year." Mao Yuqin nodded. Xu Hui said, "Once it's settled, Yiming will drive to our house. Grandpa will come too, and we'll show you old folks around Suzhou's sights."

The old man laughed and said, "Okay, I'll go too."

After chatting for a while, the old man said he had to go back, and Xu Hui and Ouyang Yiming went to see him off. After leaving the house, Xu Hui took the old man's arm, while Ouyang Yiming walked on his other side.

On the way, Xu Hui chatted with the old man, asking him what he did all day, whether he was afraid living alone in that old house, and whether he was lonely. The old man laughed heartily and said, "What am I afraid of at my age? I'm not lonely with those little birds around; they talk to me." Xu Hui asked, "The birds talk to you too?" The old man said, "Of course they do! I've raised them for so many years; they can understand what I'm saying. These birds are intelligent; they can talk to you too." "And then there's this," I said. "After your grandma passed away, your parents kept saying they wanted to move in with me. You said I'm just an old man who doesn't do anything, making your parents run around so much, especially since their commutes are so far away. I told them I just consider it exercise every day. I go to your house for meals, and then walk back. Walking like this every day makes me feel better." Xu Hui smiled and said, "Yes, it's really good for older people to be active. After your parents and we move in, you won't have to come to school anymore, so you should still go out for walks more often." The old man said, "Now, even if you don't let me go out, I can't stay home anymore. I'm used to it."

Halfway there, the old man told Xu Hui and Ouyang Yiming to go back, saying, "I'm an old man, I have nothing to do on my own. I don't need you to accompany me. I walk this road every day. You two go back, I'll go home by myself." Xu Hui said, "Grandpa, be careful on the road. Yiming and I will go to the old house again tomorrow." The old man agreed.

Love and Desire (141)

Chapter 139

On the way back, Xu Hui took Ouyang Yiming's arm and walked slowly. As they walked, Xu Hui asked, "Yiming, have you thought about when we'll have our wedding?"

Ouyang Yiming replied, "Of course I've thought about it! I wanted to have the wedding as soon as you came back, but it depends on you. You'll probably be working on some research projects now that you're back, and I don't know if you'll be able to find the time later." Xu Hui said, "The institute didn't mention anything about research projects when I first came back. I don't know if we'll receive any notification about it when I get back." Ouyang Yiming said, "Then we'll just have to wait and see. You can't stop working on your projects, and you'll need to get marriage leave."

Xu Hui nodded and said, "I'll think about it when I get back. Anyway, we definitely have to get married this year. My parents and my grandmother both want it to happen as soon as possible, and your family thinks the same way." Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "Me too. I just want to marry you as soon as possible. Besides, the elders want to have a grandchild too."

Xu Hui blushed, looked up at him, and asked, "You also..." "Want to have a baby?" Ouyang Yiming said, "I want one too, really." Xu Hui laughed and said, "Silly you. Get the house sorted out first, and we'll get married as soon as we have time. It's just... I don't want a baby too early." Ouyang Yiming said, "Actually, that's what I was thinking, but I didn't mean for you to have a baby so soon.

I have no objection to your idea; I'll respect your decision whenever you want a child." Xu Hui said, "I don't have your strong ambition for my career, but since I've studied and spent two years abroad, I want to achieve something. Having a child would distract me a lot. I think we should wait a couple more years before having a child." Ouyang Yiming said, "I understand. You don't need to explain this to me. Even if you didn't say it, I would still advise you. I know that people like us always want to achieve something after studying." Xu Hui nodded and said, "Then thank you." Ouyang Yiming said, "You're being too polite with me." They both laughed.

After walking a few steps, Xu Hui asked, "Yiming, do you think we'll be separated like this for many years after we get married?" Ouyang Yiming said, "Xu Hui, you see my current situation. To be honest, it's impossible for me to leave this unit in the next few years. I have a lot of potential here and will be able to produce many research projects. I can't give it up now."

Xu Hui said, "I know, even if you wanted to give it up, I wouldn't agree. But the thought of us still being separated after marriage still makes me uncomfortable. I can't transfer here to you anytime soon, and my unit won't let me stay! And if there are projects in the future, I can't always come here." "In Shanghai, it's impossible for a woman like me to be allocated a house. Housing at my workplace is very scarce; I'd only be able to live in a dormitory, sharing with others. This is really unfair to you."

Ouyang Yiming thought for a moment and said, "I've thought about that too, but this is our reality, and we can't ignore it. How about this: we buy a house in Shanghai. You go back and find out how much the prices are, and if there's a suitable location, we'll buy it. If we can't be transferred to the same place immediately, we can live in either location. Since you can't come back often, I have a car and can go to Shanghai on weekends. Besides, if Meizi can stay in Shanghai..." "Hai can keep you company often,"

Xu Hui said excitedly. "That would be great, of course. As for Meizi, she can't keep me company often either; she needs to settle down too. But I'd be happy if we could see each other once a week.

However, what if we don't settle down in Shanghai in the future..." Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "What does that matter? Buying a house won't lose money; it'll only appreciate." Xu Hui smiled and said, "That's true. I didn't expect you to have such a good head for business now." Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "With my brain, accepting new things isn't difficult for me."

Xu Hui looked up at him a few times and said, "You've matured these past two years." "Quite a few, and you even have some of the qualities of a leader." Ouyang Yiming chuckled twice and said, "Really? I didn't notice anything." Xu Hui said, "Back in school, you always seemed so bookish. I thought the environment could change a person, and look, you've changed a lot." Ouyang Yiming said, "You've changed a lot too." Xu Hui asked, "How have I changed?" Ouyang Yiming said, "You've matured, become more beautiful, and your demeanor is more elegant." Xu Hui smiled and asked, "Really? Do you like me more now? Love me more?" Ouyang Yiming smiled and nodded, "Yes." Xu Hui giggled and said, "We're praising each other." Then they both laughed.

Xu Hui said, "If you really plan to buy a house in Shanghai, I'd like it near my workplace, so it'll be convenient for my commute." Ouyang Yiming said, "You should start looking first, and we can look at some together when we have the chance." Xu Hui nodded and said, "Let's talk about it later; this is something we need to be very careful about." Ouyang Yiming said, "Even if Ouyang Mei can stay in Shanghai in the future, there will be support in all aspects. Even if Meizi gets married, we can still visit each other often. I just can't go there for the time being, but I feel quite at ease knowing you're with Ouyang Mei."

Xu Hui said, "Then if you have the money, you can give me some too. " "Meizi, just buy one set. That would be more convenient," Ouyang Yiming said. "It's not a problem." Xu Hui said, "To be honest, Meizi and I have a very deep relationship, and I hope to be together for life." Ouyang Yiming said, "I can see that too. Sometimes it seems like Meizi is closer to you than to me. You haven't forgotten how Meizi treated me when you went to Grandma's grave before you left, have you? It was like she could eat me alive if I did anything to you."

Xu Hui laughed, and then said, "That's right, Meizi really has genuine feelings for me." Ouyang Yiming nodded, and Liu Yan came to mind. He secretly blamed himself for bringing up that incident without realizing it. Xu Hui, of course, had also thought of those things, and said, "Yiming, you must have blamed me for being so eager to get our marriage certificate back then. To be honest, I really loved you too much. At that time, I kept thinking about you and her. Even after I went abroad, I still thought about it sometimes. Sometimes I really regret my impulsiveness that time, which made you, a grown man, kneel for a while. If it were now, I don't think I would be so impulsive. Sometimes I think I'm sorry to you. I know you and her also have feelings for each other, otherwise the letter she left for you wouldn't have been so touching."

Ouyang Yiming felt a little heavy-hearted, and also felt... Xu Hui felt a little guilty and said, "Xu Hui, I don't want to talk about her anymore. I know you meant what you said earlier, but I don't want to mention her again, as long as you don't hold it against me. Everyone has their own life, and we can't always dwell on the past. I also hope she's happy, and I think she would wish us the same." Xu Hui said, "I understand. To be honest, although I'm jealous of her, I also hope she's happy."

After walking silently for a while, Ouyang Yiming couldn't help but think of Liu Yan. The scene of their parting was so vividly displayed in his mind. A moment of sadness welled up in his heart.

He turned and glanced guiltily at Xu Hui, calming his flustered emotions, and silently wished Liu Yan well in his heart.

Xu Hui also understood that Ouyang Yiming wouldn't forget Liu Yan so easily, perhaps never, only gradually forgetting her. Turning to look at the silent Ouyang Yiming, she thought he was definitely thinking about Liu Yan, and a hint of jealousy rose in her heart again.

As she pondered this, she considered changing the subject, so she said, "Yiming, we should still transfer to the same place in the future. I'm worried that being separated like this might affect the child's development. In a couple of years, if we decide to have a child, we'll consider transferring together. I think it's more likely I'll be transferred here. However, Shanghai is a bigger city, which will be better for the child's development. Sigh! Some things are contradictory. Given your current situation, it's impossible for you to want to transfer to Shanghai. I think if we really want to be together, it will definitely be me coming back. One of us has to sacrifice, and it has to be me."

Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "You're thinking very comprehensively now. Many couples live apart. Didn't we just say we'll see each other often? I don't think it will affect the child much. I also..." I don’t want you to study for so many years just for me and my children. I think we all need to develop. I don’t want you to sacrifice your career for me, and I don’t want you to just be a housewife.

Xu Hui said: "I know you are doing it for me, but if we live separately in the future, we have to consider these things." Ouyang Yiming thought for a while and said, "Yes, these things need to be considered. What I am considering is that if you have a child in the future, you will have a hard time carrying the child." Well, this matter needs to be seriously considered.

After thinking for a while, he said: "It is impossible not to have children in the future. In this case, it is better for you not to be transferred back. It is also good to be in Shanghai. The child's household registration will follow the mother in Shanghai in the future. If you and Meizi are both in Shanghai, they will be taken care of." If we can't get a house, we'll buy a house, and we'll hire a nanny after we have a baby. We still have conditions for these. "Xu Hui nodded and said,

"Let's talk like this for the time being. It’s still early anyway, and we don’t know what changes will happen by then. Ouyang Yiming laughed twice and said, "That's right." "

Xu Hui felt a little embarrassed at this time. The wedding has not been held yet, and they have not lived together yet, so they just talked about the children for a while. But when she talked about the child earlier, it felt surprisingly natural, without any sense of shame. Now, thinking about living together, she naturally thought about what men and women do, and her face flushed, her heart pounding with nervousness.

When she got home, she saw Ouyang Anping and his wife preparing lessons, and Ouyang Dongdong was also studying in his room. Mao Yuqin, seeing them return, came out of her room and said to Xu Hui, "I've tidied up Meizi's room for you." Xu Hui smiled and thanked her. Mao Yuqin said, "Why don't you two watch some TV and chat? I'm quite busy with a graduating class; I'll go prepare my lessons." Xu Hui said, "Go ahead and do your work."

After Mao Yuqin went inside, Ouyang Yiming quietly pulled Xu Hui aside, and the two went to Ouyang Yiming's room. As soon as they closed the door, Ouyang Yiming suddenly hugged her, and Xu Hui, blushing, hugged him tightly in return. A moment later, their lips met. The two kissed passionately, breathing heavily through their nostrils; their eyes closed, they savored the sweetness of their kiss… After a long while, their lips parted, Xu Hui blushing, looking up at Ouyang Yiming and asking, “Did you miss me?” Ouyang Yiming said, “Yes, I missed you every day.” Xu Hui said, “I missed you every day there too. When I had things to do, I couldn’t think about you, but when I had nothing to do, you were all I could think about. I missed you so much. The first thing I wanted to see when I got back was you, but I had to see my parents and my grandmother first. I couldn’t stay at home for a few days, I just missed you.” Ouyang Yiming said, "I know," Xu Hui said. "Yiming, I will never fall for any other man in my life. You are the only one in my heart. Can you love me the way I love you for the rest of your life?" Ouyang Yiming said, "I will." Xu Hui said, "To me, you are my life. Without you, I have nothing. I love you." Ouyang Yiming said, "I love you too. I will love you for all eternity." Xu Hui's eyes reddened, and Ouyang Yiming leaned down for another passionate kiss... After they separated, they sat on the edge of the bed. Ouyang Yiming put his arm around Xu Hui's waist, and Xu Hui rested her head against his chest. Ouyang Yiming said, "I really want to be with you like this every day." Xu Hui said, "I want to too." Ouyang Yiming kissed her forehead and said, "I just want to hold you like this every day." Xu Hui's heart fluttered, her face flushed, and she remained silent, fiddling with the hem of Ouyang Yiming's clothes with one hand.

Ouyang Yiming turned Xu Hui's head, and their eyes met. They gazed at each other intently, unblinking. Unable to contain his excitement, Ouyang Yiming reached out and scooped Xu Hui up in his arms. Xu Hui was momentarily stunned, looking at him with a hint of panic. Ouyang Yiming had already placed Xu Hui on his lap. Xu Hui struggled, saying, "No, don't do this. What if Mom sees us?" Ouyang Yiming said, "No, Mom won't come." As he spoke, he lowered his head again, and their lips met.

After a while, Xu Hui broke free and stood on the ground, blushing as she looked at him, saying, "No, it's so embarrassing if Mom comes at home." Ouyang Yiming reached out and hugged her waist, resting his head between Xu Hui's breasts, saying, "It's okay, it's okay."

At this moment, Ouyang Yiming felt he was losing control, feeling a long-suppressed desire about to erupt. Xu Hui seemed to realize this, feeling a surge of excitement mixed with a sudden sense of fear.

At that moment, Ouyang Yiming quickly stood up and scooped her up in his arms. Before Xu Hui could react, he placed her on the bed and held her tightly as they lay down together. He draped one leg over Xu Hui's, his mouth moving towards hers, while his hand reached out and kneaded her breast. Xu Hui froze when Ouyang Yiming touched her chest, her mind going completely blank for a moment.

A moment later, she felt extreme panic. She seemed to suddenly realize what was about to happen, and a silent fear gripped her. She quickly reached out and shoved Ouyang Yiming away, sitting up abruptly, her face flushed and panting. She cried out in shame and fear, "Yiming, how could you do this?" She then stared blankly at the ground, her heart pounding, as if she had been startled.

Ouyang Yiming was momentarily stunned, his face turning bright red. He stammered, "We...we're already...we're already husband and wife." Xu Hui lowered her head for a moment before softly saying, "That won't do. I haven't married into the family yet." Ouyang Yiming looked at her lowered head, feeling dejected. Xu Hui turned to look at him and said, "Yiming, you need to control yourself. We haven't even had a wedding yet." Ouyang Yiming was a little annoyed. He looked up at her and said, "You and I are both highly educated. We're already married once we get our marriage certificate. Why are you so concerned about the wedding?" Xu Hui glanced at him and lowered her head, saying, "I'm sorry, Yiming, I do care a lot. My grandmother taught me this from a young age. I know that only on our wedding day can we do that. Yiming, we can't be in such a rush. I just want it to happen on our wedding night."

Although Ouyang Yiming was a little annoyed, he also appreciated Xu Hui's serious attitude towards this matter. Suppressing the unspoken passion within him, he caught his breath and said somewhat embarrassedly, "Xu Hui, I will respect you. Just now, I was a little impulsive. I'm sorry." Xu Hui blushed as she looked at him, tears suddenly streaming down her face. She said, "Let's get married as soon as possible. Only then can I feel at peace. I don't want to be like this now." Ouyang Yiming felt a wave of guilt wash over him again and said, "Don't blame me."

Xu Hui shook her head and said, "I don't blame you. I understand how you feel. After all, we're both this age. But I..." Ouyang Yiming said, "Don't say anymore. I understand."

Xu Hui then hugged him tightly again. The two embraced tightly.

For a long time, they were silent. Xu Hui pulled away and sat beside Ouyang Yiming on the edge of the bed, resting her head on his shoulder, her mind still on Ouyang Yiming's actions. She knew that Ouyang Yiming's behavior was completely normal, and she knew that Ouyang Yiming had the right, and she had the obligation, to have a relationship with him. But she wouldn't rush into giving herself to him in this atmosphere. In her fantasies, it should be on their wedding night, in a relaxed and sweet atmosphere, giving her body to the one she loved most. She would often think of that moment, but each time, amidst the blissful and excited reverie, she would feel a vague sense of fear.

Ouyang Yiming put his arm around her shoulder, took her hand, and said, "Are you angry with me?" Xu Hui blushed and said, "No, I was worried you were angry with me." Ouyang Yiming smiled wryly and said, "No, I'm not angry, I'm just too excited." Xu Hui's heart, which had just calmed down a bit, started pounding again, and she said, "Don't say anymore." Ouyang Yiming looked at her and didn't say anything. After

a moment of silence, Xu Hui thought about Ouyang Yiming's eagerness just now, and her mind was in turmoil again. She felt both longing and intense fear about that kind of thing between men and women. Of course, she had thought about it. She didn't know what it would feel like, but just thinking about it made her feel a little numb and tingly. But at the same time, it also brought a sense of dread and apprehension. She knew she would eventually have to give herself to Ouyang Yiming, but she held firm to one belief: to give her precious first time, a woman's first time, to Ouyang Yiming, the man she loved most, on her wedding night in a very sacred way.

Xu Hui tried to change the subject, but the conversation turned to this topic: "Yiming, do you really like children too?" Ouyang Yiming said, "Yes, I do." Xu Hui said, "Don't laugh at me, but I've thought about it more than once." Ouyang Yiming asked, "Really? What have you thought about?" Xu Hui said, "Thinking about children gives me a sense of happiness. In my imagination, our child should be a very cute boy." Ouyang Yiming asked, "Why a boy?" Xu Hui said, "I hope he looks like you." Ouyang Yiming laughed and asked, "Isn't that being sexist?"

Xu Hui said, "No way, I just hope he looks like you." Ouyang Yiming said, "Maybe men and women are different. I actually hope it's a daughter. Daughters are so cute! Boys are mischievous." Xu Hui said, "Mischievousness is cute too." Ouyang Yiming laughed and said, "I think other people's daughters are very cute." Xu Hui said, "Whenever I see my colleague's son, he's so chubby, I just want to hug him." Then they both laughed. After

talking for a while, Xu Hui said, "I'm going to rest now. You should rest early too." She stood up after saying that. Ouyang Yiming looked up at Xu Hui, took her hand and said, "Xu Hui, let's get married soon." Xu Hui knew that he was thinking about what had just happened, and her face turned red again. She said, "Yiming, I also want to get married soon. You should hurry up and tidy up the house. I'll talk to my boss as soon as I get back to work." Ouyang Yiming said, "Let's go to the old house together tomorrow. You can give me your opinion on how to renovate it." Xu Hui nodded and said, "Okay."

Ouyang Yiming said, "You'll come to work with me tomorrow. I'll explain things at work and then we'll go." Xu Hui nodded. The two looked at each other for a moment, and then their lips met...

Love and Desire (142)

Chapter 140

The next morning, Ouyang Yiming took Xu Hui to his workplace. After handling some matters, Ouyang Yiming planned to drive Xu Hui to the old house to discuss the specifics of renovating the new house. Just as he was about to leave, the phone rang. Ouyang Yiming turned around, picked up the phone and listened, but for a moment he couldn't remember who this unfamiliar woman was. The woman on the phone asked Ouyang Yiming to guess. Ouyang Yiming glanced at Xu Hui, thought for a while, but still couldn't remember who she was. The woman on the phone chuckled twice and said she was Jin Ling.

Ouyang Yiming couldn't recall who Jin Ling was for a moment, muttering, "Jin Ling? Who are you?" Jin Ling giggled and said, "Leaders really have bad memories. When you were hospitalized in our hospital, I took care of you for quite a while." Ouyang Yiming suddenly realized and immediately laughed, "Oh, it's Nurse Jin! I never would have guessed it was you! Are you in Hangzhou or here?" Jin Ling said, "Of course I'm here. Liang Chao and I got married before the New Year, and after the New Year, we used our honeymoon to travel here. Last night, I saw your picture in the newspaper and realized you're now the hospital director. I'm calling to congratulate you."

Ouyang Yiming laughed heartily and said, "What director? I'm just a researcher. Congratulations on your marriage." Jin Ling said, "Thank you for your congratulations." Ouyang Yiming asked:

"You just arrived here last night?" Jin Ling said. "We traveled all the way from Beijing and arrived here last night." Ouyang Yiming asked, "Where are you staying now?" Jin Ling said, "We're staying at the Haitian Hotel." Ouyang Yiming said, "Okay, wait for me there, I'll come to your place." Jin Ling, of course, wanted Ouyang Yiming to come to the hotel to see her; the purpose of her trip was to see him. She said, "Won't this interfere with your work?" Ouyang Yiming laughed and said, "Oh, what interference? Wait for me there, I'll be there in a bit."

After hanging up, Xu Hui asked him who had called. Ouyang Yiming said, "I really didn't expect it to be her. Do you remember what I told you before, when I was hospitalized, there was a nurse who took special care of me, because..." "The one where she and her fiancé did *that* thing in the bushes near the hospital and got caught by the patrol, right?" Xu Hui thought for a moment and said, "You mentioned it." Ouyang Yiming said, "It's that Nurse Jin. I was transferred to Hangzhou because of that incident when I was hospitalized. I never expected it to be her."

Xu Hui pouted and said, "It's rare that she still thinks of you after all this time." Ouyang Yiming blushed and said, "I never expected her to contact me here." He frowned and said, "How did she get my phone number?" Xu Hui said, "Who are you asking? Didn't you tell her?" Ouyang Yiming laughed and said, "I haven't heard from her since I was discharged from the hospital.

Oh, right, she said she saw me in the newspaper. She must have seen my workplace and inquired about it."

Xu Hui smiled and said, "You're quite a celebrity in Panzhou now." Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "A little famous." Xu Hui was secretly quite proud of Ouyang Yiming and said with a smile, "You're so smug." Ouyang Yiming chuckled twice. Xu Hui asked, "Is she traveling with her husband?" Ouyang Yiming nodded and said, "Yes, I haven't met her husband before. He used to be a soldier at that hospital. Come on, guests are guests. Since she's here and called me, I should at least show her some hospitality." Xu Hui deliberately asked, "Would it be appropriate for me to go?" Ouyang Yiming laughed and said, "Forget it! Why wouldn't it be appropriate for you to go?" Xu Hui asked with a smile, "Won't it interfere with your reunion?" Ouyang Yiming laughed twice and said, "I'd like to, but I'm afraid her husband will beat me up." Xu Hui giggled.

On the way, Xu Hui suddenly asked, "Does Nurse Jin know about you and Liu Yan?" Ouyang Yiming's heart skipped a beat, and he said, "Jin Ling doesn't know. She was transferred to Hangzhou before I was discharged." Xu Hui smiled but didn't say anything. Ouyang Yiming, however, felt a little flustered.

Actually, Ouyang Yiming knew in his heart that Jin Ling was transferred to Hangzhou after he was discharged. Liu Yan definitely hadn't told Jin Ling while he was in the hospital; Liu Yan had told him then that she hadn't told Jin Ling. But it was entirely possible that Jin Ling had heard about it from Liu Yan after they broke up. He didn't want to talk about this with Xu Hui. He felt uneasy about seeing Jin Ling at this moment, knowing that Xu Hui was definitely thinking about him and Liu Yan.

Jin Ling and Liang Chao arrived in Panzhou around 8 PM the previous night. After checking into the Haitian Hotel, they asked the staff for the address of the research institute where Ouyang Yiming worked. The waitress said she wasn't entirely sure of the exact address, but after thinking for a moment, she said, "There was a newspaper article about this research institute a few days ago. It's quite famous around here now. Let me see if I can find it." Jin Ling was overjoyed and went with the waitress to the duty room. The waitress searched for a while, then handed her a newspaper, saying, "This is it. Look, we all admire Dean Ouyang." Jin Ling took it and looked at it carefully; it was indeed Ouyang Yiming. To her surprise, Ouyang Yiming was already the vice president of this research institute. After thanking the waitress, she took the newspaper to her and Liang Chao's room.

Liang Chao took the newspaper and looked at it, saying, "I've never met this Ouyang before, but you said he's very dashing. Looking at the photo, he really is very charismatic and handsome. No wonder Liu Yan, the daughter of a high-ranking official, fell for him so quickly and has loved him so much." Jin Ling said, "I didn't expect Ouyang to be the vice president of the research institute at such a young age. He's very capable." Liang Chao glanced at the article and sighed, "No wonder. In just over two years, Ouyang has generated tens of millions in revenue for this research institute. Someone with such ability will naturally be highly valued." Jin Ling followed Liang Chao's finger and saw the article clearly stating it, exclaiming in surprise, "I never imagined Ouyang would be so capable!" Of course, Jin Ling and Liang Chao didn't know that the newspaper's claim that Ouyang Yiming had generated tens of millions in revenue for the research institute was a huge exaggeration.

The two sat together, heads close, reading for a while. Liang Chao said, "It seems our trip here was truly pointless." Jin Ling looked at him. Liang Chao said, "You think someone as outstanding, handsome, and capable as him wouldn't be liked by many girls? How could Xu Hui possibly give up on such a man? Even if Xu Hui did, wouldn't he still be liked by other girls?" Jin Ling thought about Liang Chao's words and sighed inwardly. It seemed unlikely that she would have that one in ten thousand chance this time. But no matter what, she had already come here, so she had to meet Ouyang Yiming. So she said to Liang Chao, "Since we're here, let's meet him. Meeting him and understanding the situation will put our minds at ease."

Liang Chao smiled and said, "We've come all this way, how can we not meet? It would be even more regrettable." He shook his head with a smile and said, "Actually, we can already conclude that it won't make any sense."

Although Jin Ling felt that it would be as meaningless as Liang Chao said, she still said, "Okay, get some rest today. We'll meet Ouyang tomorrow, then visit some local attractions and go back."

The next morning, after getting up, she dialed 114 from the hotel and found the phone number of Ouyang Yiming's workplace. She first called the office director. The office manager then gave her Ouyang Yiming's office phone number. But to her utter surprise, Xu Hui would also be in Ouyang Yiming's office.

After Ouyang Yiming drove Xu Hui to the Haitian Hotel, Jin Ling and Liang Chao were already waiting in the lobby. Jin Ling recognized Ouyang Yiming immediately. Seeing him enter with a woman, she paused, then instantly remembered that this beautiful woman was Xu Hui, Ouyang Yiming's classmate. She thought to herself, "Now there's absolutely no hope left," and couldn't help but feel disappointed. She greeted him with a broad smile, warmly saying, "Ouyang Yiming, do you still recognize me?"

Ouyang Yiming immediately recognized Jin Ling in her military uniform, smiling broadly as he said, "How could I not recognize you? Nurse Jin, right?" He extended his hand to shake Jin Ling's, saying, "I really didn't expect you to come here." Releasing her hand, he looked at Liang Chao and said, "This must be your husband?" Liang Chao quickly extended his hand, saying, "My name is Liang Chao." Ouyang Yiming shook his hand, saying, "Hello, my name is Ouyang Yiming. When I was hospitalized in Jin Ling's ward, Nurse Jin took very good care of me." Jin Ling said, "That's my job." Ouyang Yiming turned to Xu Hui and introduced her to Jin Ling and Liang Chao, "This is my...my wife, Xu Hui."

Jin Ling felt a chill in her heart, thinking to herself, "They're already married!" Smiling, she looked at Xu Hui and said, "I saw you when Ouyang was hospitalized. I still recognize you. You're still the same as before, unchanged, still so beautiful." Xu Hui smiled and shook hands with her, saying, "You flatter me." She then smiled and nodded at Liang Chao. Jin Ling said, "Come on, let's go to the room and sit for a while." Ouyang Yiming and Xu Hui nodded. So the group headed towards the elevator.

After exchanging a few pleasantries upon entering the room, Jin Ling poured tea for Ouyang Yiming and Xu Hui. Liang Chao offered a cigarette to Ouyang Yiming, who waved it off, saying he didn't know how to use it. Jin Ling placed the tea on the coffee table and said, "It's good that you don't smoke." Ouyang Yiming replied, "I've never learned." After sitting down, Jin Ling asked, "When did you two get married?" Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "Actually, we've been legally married for a long time. We got our marriage certificate two years ago, but we haven't had a wedding ceremony yet. Xu Hui went abroad to study for two years and only recently returned, so we haven't had a chance to hold a wedding yet. But getting the marriage certificate is enough, so I'm introducing you to my wife." Xu Hui blushed slightly.

Jin Ling said, "Of course we're husband and wife now that we have a marriage certificate." Ouyang Yiming asked, "When did you two get married?" Jin Ling said, "We got married before the New Year. We got some honeymoon leave, so we had time to travel. Otherwise, we wouldn't have had time. It's a coincidence; I saw your picture and story in the newspaper when I came here, which reminded me to contact you. Otherwise, I wouldn't have known you were in this city." Ouyang Yiming said, "I was assigned here after graduation." Jin Ling said, "I never expected you to be the director of the research institute at such a young age." Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "I'm the deputy director; it's the leadership who's been kind to me." Jin Ling said, There is a bright future and great achievements. Ouyang Yiming laughed twice and said, "Thank you Nurse Jin for your kind words." Jin Ling looked at Ouyang Yiming with a smile and said, "Ouyang, you are much more mature than when you were hospitalized." Ouyang Yiming said: "You are much older."

After chatting for a while, Ouyang Yiming said, "I'll stay here for two more days and I'll drive around with you." Jin Ling said: "Our vacation is coming soon. We will go back after playing here." You're busy with work, let's have some fun by ourselves. "Ouyang Yiming said: "How can that be done? Since I'm here, I have to show my loyalty to the landlord. He raised his wrist and looked at his watch and said,

"Do you want to rest?" If we don't rest, let's go to Panlong Mountain now. I drove here. "Jin Ling said: "That's good. If you take us to play in your car, we won't have to take a taxi. He paused and asked, "Do you have time?" You leaders are all very busy. Ouyang Yiming said: "You are too polite. Even if the distinguished guests come, you have to make time." "Jin Ling laughed, and everyone laughed.

As they left the room, Liang Chao quietly tugged at Jin Ling, pulling them behind Ouyang Yiming and Xu Hui. Liang Chao whispered, "You absolutely mustn't mention Liu Yan again. Look how well-matched those two are. Xu Hui might not even know about Ouyang and Liu Yan's relationship. We can't let them be upset because of Liu Yan. Even if Ouyang knew about Liu Yan, Ouyang Yiming would never accept her. Don't mention Liu Yan, or we'll be intentionally making them unhappy."

Jin Ling, though disappointed, could still see the well-matched couple before her. She nodded and said, "I know, I won't say anything more." She felt a pang of regret, realizing her visit had been pointless. She also secretly sighed for Liu Yan's feelings for Ouyang Yiming. She thought to herself that she would try to persuade Liu Yan more in the future. Of course, she couldn't tell Liu Yan that she had seen Ouyang Yiming, even though Liu Yan had wished Ouyang Yiming and Xu Hui happiness. But she knew that Liu Yan would be even more heartbroken when she learned about Ouyang Yiming and Xu Hui's situation, and when she thought about her own.

Ouyang Yiming also wanted to talk to Jin Ling about Liu Yan, to ask if she knew anything about her, but he refrained from asking. Firstly, Xu Hui was by his side, and secondly, he didn't want to bring up Liu Yan again. He always believed Liu Yan was very happy, so why ask? But deep down, Ouyang Yiming still wanted to know something about Liu Yan. Now, he could only force himself not to mention Liu Yan. Of course, he also knew that Jin Ling wouldn't mention Liu Yan to Xu Hui.

Ouyang Yiming drove them to Panlong Mountain. He accompanied them sightseeing until noon, then they went down the mountain for lunch at a hotel. During the meal, they chatted for a while about things that happened when Ouyang Yiming was hospitalized. Jin Ling then asked about Fan Xurui, saying, "When you were hospitalized, you had a funny classmate from medical school. Where is he working now?"

Ouyang Yiming immediately thought of Fan Xurui, remembering the jokes Fan Xurui had made when he was hospitalized. He couldn't help but smile and said, "You mean Fan Xurui? He works at our Fourth Hospital now, as an internal medicine doctor. He's also the deputy secretary of the hospital's Youth League Committee. He's doing quite well." Jin Ling said, "He's very capable, and he's quite eloquent." Ouyang Yiming laughed and said, "Yes, he was a student leader in high school and in college. He's very articulate and has leadership skills. Hey, should we call him over?" Jin Ling said, "Never mind, I've only met him twice. Maybe he's already forgotten me."

Ouyang Yiming thought about how Fan Xurui always mentioned the dimpled nurse and wanted to say, "Fan Xurui would never forget you," but seeing Liang Chao, he swallowed his words. Ouyang Yiming said, "How about we invite him over for a get-together tonight?" Jinling said, "No, we plan to go back tonight. We only have two days of vacation left, and we need to rest a bit before going back to work." Ouyang Yiming said, "So soon? You just arrived." Liang Chao said, "We weren't planning on sightseeing here, but Jinling heard about Panlong Mountain on the train and said she wanted to see it.

We don't have time this time, but we'll have to stay longer next time." Jinling said, "After your wedding ceremony, are you planning to travel around a bit?" Xu Hui said, "We are thinking of doing that."

Jinling said, "If you're going to Hangzhou, please let us know. We don't have a car to take you, but we can certainly treat you to a good time." Ouyang Yiming and Xu Hui thanked her with smiles.

After dinner, they chatted for a while at the hotel. Jin Ling said, "We'll have some fun this afternoon, so you don't need to keep us company. Ouyang is very busy with work." Ouyang Yiming said, "It's alright, I have a car, so it'll be convenient for me to take you around." Jin Ling said, "We appreciate your kindness, but we really can't let you keep us company like this. You're a leader at the research institute, so I can imagine you're very busy. Liang Chao and I will have some more fun this afternoon, and then we'd like to go back tonight." Ouyang Yiming made a few more polite remarks, but Jin Ling insisted on keeping them company. After chatting for a while longer, Ouyang Yiming and Xu Hui said goodbye to Jin Ling and Liang Chao.

After seeing Ouyang Yiming and Xu Hui off, Liang Chao asked Jin Ling, "Where are we going now?" Jin Ling said, "Let's go back to the hotel. Let's see what time the bus is; I want to get back quickly." Liang Chao looked at her and smiled, saying, "I told you not to come, but you insisted. See, you've made a wasted trip." Jin Ling glanced at him and said, "How can it be a wasted trip?

At least I feel at ease." Liang Chao smiled and said, "That's true, we even visited Panlong Mountain." Jin Ling felt heavy-hearted and ignored Liang Chao, thinking to herself: People say that being a couple requires fate, and it's really true. It seems that Liu Yan and Ouyang Yiming are destined to never be together again.

She felt sad for Liu Yan's feelings for Ouyang Yiming. What should she do if Liu Yan is always like this? What can she do to help her? Thinking about this, she felt very troubled.

On the way, Ouyang Yiming raised his wrist to look at his watch and said, "It's past two o'clock. Let's go see the old house. After that, I have to go to work." Xu Hui agreed. After walking for a while, Ouyang Yiming shook his head and smiled to himself, saying, "I really didn't expect Jinling to come here with her husband." Xu Hui smiled and said, "Did it bring back some fond memories for you?" Ouyang Yiming understood Xu Hui's meaning, blushed slightly, and remained silent.

Xu Hui chuckled twice and said, "This Jinling is really interesting. She still remembers you when you were hospitalized after all these years." Ouyang Yiming knew Xu Hui might be recalling something, but not wanting her to misunderstand, he said, "My illness back then was quite unusual, so her memory is deeper."

Xu Hui smiled again and said, "I never expected Jinling to recognize me." Ouyang Yiming said, "Yes, Jinling's memory is really good. She was my special caregiver when I was hospitalized. She's a very warm person. I never imagined that she would do that thing so soon after. It caused quite a stir in the hospital. Fortunately, they eventually got married."

Xu Hui said dismissively, "Even if you love each other, doing something like that back then isn't something to be proud of. I find that disgusting. I don't have a good impression of Jinling either." Ouyang Yiming glanced at her, then turned back to look ahead without speaking. He thought of what had happened between him and Liu Yan back then, and blushed slightly.

When Xu Hui saw Jin Ling, Liu Yan was naturally on her mind. She also knew that Ouyang Yiming would think of Liu Yan. Although she felt somewhat unhappy, she didn't want to talk about it or bring it up in front of Ouyang Yiming. During their outings and meals together, she was genuinely afraid that Jin Ling would mention Liu Yan, but Jin Ling talked about many doctors and nurses in the wards, without mentioning Liu Yan at all. This made Xu Hui suspicious. She knew that Jin Ling was only keeping quiet about Liu Yan out of consideration for her, and she secretly found Jin Ling's well-intentioned concealment amusing. Little did she know, the more she did this, the more it showed that Jin Ling knew about Liu Yan and Ouyang Yiming's relationship at that time. Even so, she still didn't want Jin Ling to mention Liu Yan, otherwise, hearing Liu Yan's name would make her uncomfortable.

Ouyang Yiming had, of course, considered these things as well. When he and Liu Yan were dating, Liu Yan had told him that Jin Ling hadn't known about their relationship until Jin Ling was transferred. So, Jin Ling's intentional concealment of Liu Yan's past meant that Jin Ling now knew about their relationship. The only possibility was that Liu Yan would tell Jin Ling about it later. He wondered if Jin Ling's sudden arrival was to see how he was doing, or if she planned to tell Liu Yan about it later.

He recalled Liu Yan's helplessness and pain when she left him. He no longer blamed Liu Yan; he only blamed her for being born into such a family, for the social status that so many families have cared about throughout history, and for their lack of fate. He thought that even if Jin Ling told Liu Yan about his current situation, Liu Yan would be comforted. Just as he had always silently wished her well, he hoped she would be doing well.

However, he still felt a little regretful that he hadn't learned anything about Liu Yan from Jin Ling. Although he always believed Liu Yan would be very happy, he still secretly wanted to know some things about her. He thought, "What difference does it make whether I know or not? As long as she's happy, that's enough. With such privileged circumstances, it's impossible for her not to be happy!"

Suddenly, he remembered the two thousand yuan Liu Yan had left him when they broke up, still in a bank in Jinling. He thought to himself, "Several years have passed; it's time to return it to her."

Then I thought, after all these years, I don't know if Liu Yan is still in that club, or if she has been transferred to another place. If Xu Hui hadn't happened to come here, Jin Ling might have told me about Liu Yan's situation, or that way Jin Ling could have transferred the money to Liu Yan.

I thought about it for a while and then thought to myself, anyway, this money will still belong to Liu Yan no matter when, so I'll talk about

it later when I have the chance. It might make Liu Yan unhappy if I deliberately give it to her. Regardless of whether Liu Yan is still in that club, I don't want to contact Liu Yan again, as that would disturb Liu Yan's peaceful life. I'll just keep the money in the bank and talk about it later. I'll pay her back sooner or later.

Love and Desire (143)

Chapter 141

Ouyang Yiming parked his car in front of a hotel at the entrance of Xiucai Lane and told the hotel security guard. The two walked into Xiucai Lane. Ouyang Yiming said as he walked:

“Our institute plans to award cars to those who have made significant contributions to scientific research by the end of this year, and I’m sure I’ll be among them,”

Xu Hui said, turning to him. “Aren’t your policies a bit excessive? They’re rare nationwide.” Ouyang Yiming replied, “We want to be the first in the country to introduce these rare policies; it’s also a way to enhance our institute’s reputation. Of course, the most important thing is to motivate our researchers.”

Xu Hui said with some concern, “It’s good, but I feel like we’re taking too big a step.” Ouyang Yiming said, “I had the same concerns before, but now it seems our policies are very farsighted. Without the scientific achievements of our researchers, the institute couldn’t have developed so rapidly in just a few years. Currently, no other research institute in the country could have achieved such profitability in such a short time. All of this is due to the transformation of our researchers’ scientific achievements.” "The biggest beneficiaries should still be the research institute."

Xu Hui nodded and said, "These policies are very forward-thinking and successful. But I'm always worried about you. After all, you're the leader of this research institute. If anything goes wrong later, I'm afraid you'll be implicated." Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "I didn't think anything would go wrong. Although I'm the vice president of this research institute, I'm actually just a researcher.

In terms of rewards, I haven't received any special treatment compared to other researchers." Xu Hui said, "What you said makes sense, but I still have concerns. Okay, let's not talk about this anymore. Don't feel pressured."

Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "I have considered these issues. Don't worry, I won't feel pressured. Now is the era of reform and opening up, and the era of revitalizing the country through science and technology. I believe nothing can stop the progress of scientific and technological development." Xu Hui turned to look at him a few times and suddenly smiled. Ouyang Yiming turned to look at her. Xu Hui said, "A scholar should be looked at with new eyes after three days' absence. This saying is really true. Your mentality now is completely different from a few years ago. That's good. You're maturing slowly. I wasn't wrong about your potential."

Ouyang Yiming chuckled and said, "Right? I'm quite good at accepting new things." Xu Hui smiled and nodded, "That's true. But I must remind you, as a leader, you must be upright and honest, otherwise you'll be talked about by the masses. You must never touch things that you shouldn't have. Your institute is currently in a period of development and construction, and there might be sugar-coated bullets. Do you understand what I mean?"

Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "Don't worry about that. No matter how good something is, I will never take a liking to it if it's not mine. I've told myself this more than once since I became the vice dean, and it's my belief. Don't worry, such a mistake won't happen to me." Xu Hui nodded and said, "I believe you will." When they arrived at the main gate,

they saw that the gate was open, and the old man was facing away from the gate, whistling and teasing the bird with his back to the gate. The melodious chirping of birds filled the spacious courtyard with life.

The old man didn't even notice Ouyang Yiming and Xu Hui entering the yard. Only after Xu Hui called out "Grandpa" with a smile did he turn around, beaming, and say, "You two are here."

Ouyang Yiming asked, "Grandpa, didn't you rest at noon?" The old man replied, "I slept for a while and just got up." Ouyang Yiming asked, "Want to take the birds for a walk?" The old man said, "I'll go in a bit.

I guessed you were coming, so I waited for you at home, afraid you'd forget your keys." Ouyang Yiming laughed and said, "How could I forget? I brought them." Xu Hui stood in front of the old man and asked, "Grandpa, do these birds need to be walked every day?" The old man said, "Yes, they get bored at home. They get unhappy if they're not walked. That's why I have to take them out in a bit. These birds are very intelligent.

" Xu Hui and Ouyang Yiming both laughed.

Ouyang Yiming said, "Grandpa, Xu Hui and I are here to see how we should renovate this house. Could you give us your opinion?" The old man said, "I don't know anything about renovating houses. You two can discuss it." Xu Hui said, "We really don't want to change much of this ancestral house. I think a fresh coat of paint will suffice, but Yiming said..." The old man said, "Don't worry about that. Do it however you like, as long as you're happy." Ouyang Yiming said, "I've considered that too. The structure of the house absolutely cannot be changed. I'm thinking of adding a false ceiling, installing wainscoting, wallpaper, and changing the flooring. Grandpa, what do you think?"

The old man laughed and said, "Don't ask me. Do whatever you like. This whole house will be yours eventually, won't it?" Xu Hui said, "But we can't destroy what our ancestors left behind." Ouyang Yiming said: “It won’t damage it. I’ve thought about it, and none of what I’m saying will damage the house structure. We’ll carefully remove and store the floor tiles; it’ll be easy to restore them whenever we want.”

The old man nodded and said, “Okay! Your new house should be made to look decent. Your parents’ house will just be repainted.” Ouyang Yiming said, “I’ll go back and discuss it with my parents.” The old man said, “Alright, you can do whatever you want.” Ouyang Yiming said, “I also want to repaint the main house.” The old man said, “Forget about my house; why would an old man like me need to repaint it?” Xu Hui said, “Yiming is right, a repaint will be clean.” Ouyang Yiming said, “Exactly, these houses haven’t been repainted in years; it won’t be too much trouble. We won’t do much outside; I just want to repaint these pillars.” "Just one coat of paint, otherwise it might get infested with bugs." The old man said, "Alright, whatever you say goes, I have no objection." Xu Hui asked, "Grandpa, do you think Yiming and I should live in the west wing according to the old custom?"

The old man smiled and said, "According to the old custom here, the elders live in the main house, the eldest son lives in the east wing, and the second son lives in the west wing. Our Ouyang family has had only one son for generations, and your father is the only one.

The west wing has always been lived in by the grandchildren for generations, so you can live there. The east wing is still for your parents." Xu Hui said, "That's fine as long as there's this custom. Since we've moved into this old house, we have to abide by some of the old family customs."

The old man said, "They don't care about that anymore. Look at all these houses on Xiucai Street, except for the elderly who still live in the main house, nowadays everyone lives anywhere. Young people don't want to live in old houses like this anymore." "I want to live in an apartment building, it's just that you two are filial and want to keep this old man company," Xu Hui said. "Firstly, I want to live with Grandpa, and secondly, I like this kind of house and this kind of courtyard." The old man smiled and said, "Alright, if you like living here, that's good. Go to the west wing and see how to decorate it. I don't know anything about those things."

Ouyang Yiming and Xu Hui went into the west wing and looked around the inner and outer rooms. Ouyang Yiming held onto the door frame of the inner room and said, "I don't want to change too much, but I still want to replace this door."

Xu Hui said, "I wonder if Grandpa will be happy." Ouyang Yiming said, "Grandpa won't be angry. I think we should take good care of the things that are replaced, and make sure they are not damaged.

If we really need to restore them later, it won't be difficult." Xu Hui said, "That's good, let's talk to Grandpa about it." Ouyang Yiming nodded.

The next day, Xu Hui went to work with Ouyang Yiming as usual. Everyone in her family was at work, and Xu Hui didn't want to stay home alone. Ouyang Yiming wanted to go shopping or have some fun with Xu Hui, but Vice Dean Wang was away on a business trip to Beijing and hadn't returned yet; some matters at the research institute needed Ouyang Yiming's attention. Ouyang Yiming felt embarrassed about this and told Xu Hui, who was very understanding, saying, "You're still telling me these things? I can't let you interfere with your work by coming here. Of course I understand. You're making me think too little of you. I'm happy just to be by your side. It'll be Sunday in two days; let's go out and have some fun then."

That afternoon, in Ouyang Yiming's office, Xu Hui talked about marriage again, and then about some of her university classmates. Xu Hui said, "I haven't seen Li Xuan and the others since graduation, and I really miss them now."

Ouyang Yiming said, "We've all been very busy with work. I didn't even tell you about Ge Guangcheng's wedding last year. Jiang Yuqi called, and I really wanted to go, but coincidentally, my project was in the trial production phase those days, and there were some problems with crystallization. Several experiments failed to crystallize, and I was so anxious those days that I just couldn't get away. I told Jiang Yuqi about it on the phone, and he told me not to go, saying he would give our wedding gifts to Ge Guangcheng. I've always felt bad about it, and I would have gone if I had any free time. I wonder what Ge Guangcheng will think, and I really want to get together with them." Jiang Yuqi "After I got home, they called me and said Wu Yingying and Li Xuan had both come. They also mentioned us, and now that I think about it, it's a bit of a regret. I think the only time I'll see them again is at our wedding,"

Xu Hui said. "Yes, everyone has their own work, and it's not easy for them to get together. We should tell them before our wedding so they can arrange their time. This time, we definitely want to get together." Ouyang Yiming said, "Jiang Yuqi and Li Xuan work in government offices, so arranging their time isn't a problem. Wu Yingying works as an engineer in a factory, so that's not a big issue either. It seems like the two of us are the hardest to arrange our time now. If the experiment gets to a critical point, we'll really be unable to..." " I can't make it, but I hope we'll

both be available when Jiang Yuqi, Li Xuan, and Wu Yingying get married," Xu Hui said. "That's true. If we really don't have time, I wonder what people will say. But it's unlikely that neither of us will be available; if one of us can't make it, the other will go."

Ouyang Yiming nodded and said, "I don't know when Jiang Yuqi is getting married. He called last time and said he was assigned to a town as deputy mayor. I asked him when he'd get married, and he said it wasn't decided yet.

I wonder if Li Xuan and Wu Yingying have found partners yet." Xu Hui said, "Wu Yingying has found someone; they work in the transportation department. Li Xuan probably hasn't found anyone yet. I wrote her a few letters when I was abroad, mentioning..." "She always denies these kinds of things, I don't think she'd lie," Ouyang Yiming said. "She wouldn't need to lie about something like this."

Xu Hui asked, "Did Jiang Yuqi mention how grand it was at Ge Guangcheng's wedding last time?" Ouyang Yiming said, "The wedding was quite grand. Ge Guangcheng's workplace is very large, and there were many people attending. I heard it was quite lively." He suddenly chuckled twice and said, "Jiang Yuqi said those people were quite mischievous. They even tore the rented wedding dress while teasing the bride, and the bridal shop didn't want it, so Ge Guangcheng had to pay compensation."

Xu Hui laughed and said, "Ge Guangcheng must have been heartbroken, with his stingy nature." Ouyang Yiming then laughed heartily. Xu Hui said, "I don't want to be teased at our wedding." Ouyang Yiming said, "Don't worry, no one in our workplace dares to tease you. Some of my former classmates have Fan Xurui; he can keep them in check." Xu Hui smiled and said, "Exactly, a wedding is a joyous occasion, why resort to such vulgar pranks?" Ouyang Yiming said, "It's a way of celebrating. It happens everywhere. I don't like that kind of teasing either." Xu Hui said, "A few jokes are fine, but if someone actually touches me at our wedding, I'll definitely be angry." Ouyang Yiming said, "No, I'll arrange for several people to protect you." "You must make sure everything is arranged properly," Xu Hui said. "If they really tear the wedding dress like Ge Guangcheng did, I think I'd faint from anger." Ouyang Yiming said, "I know you well enough. Even if it's a joke, I'll arrange for them not to make any vulgar jokes." Xu Hui said, "Exactly, this kind of bad habit should have been eliminated long ago. I've heard about it and read about it in magazines. Some people in certain places have such vulgar wedding night pranks; it's simply an insult to one's dignity."

Ouyang Yiming smiled but didn't say anything, but he knew in his heart that if someone did that to Xu Hui, she would be very angry and heartbroken. He thought to himself that he must make sure the wedding night pranks were arranged properly.

Xu Hui said, "Why rent someone else's wedding dress? Marriage is a once-in-a-lifetime event, and the wedding dress should be new. Wearing someone else's used one just feels uncomfortable." Ouyang Yiming said, "Yes, you're right. Wedding dresses should be treasured and preserved. Let's not rent, let's buy a new one, and take good care of it after the wedding."

Xu Hui nodded and said, "That's how it should be." After thinking for a moment, she said excitedly, "Why don't we go shopping the day after tomorrow when we have the day off? Let's buy the wedding dress and your suit together."

Ouyang Yiming said, "That's a good idea. Things will be very rushed before the wedding, so let's take advantage of the time now." Xu Hui suddenly blushed and said, "I'm so excited just thinking about how I'll look in my wedding dress." Ouyang Yiming said, "You'll definitely look even more beautiful in a wedding dress." Xu Hui said, "To be honest, I've thought about it more than once. I want to wear a white wedding dress, white shoes, white socks, basically everything from the inside out is white. White represents purity, and I want to give you my pure self."

Xu Hui's face was flushed with excitement. Ouyang Yiming was clearly excited too, saying, "Then you really are a beautiful angel, I will remember you for the rest of my life." Xu Hui said, "We'll buy the wedding dress ourselves, you can wear it for me whenever you want to see it." Ouyang Yiming nodded and said, "That's true. Hey, what color dress should I wear?" Xu Hui thought for a moment and said, "You should wear a black dress with a white tie. Black represents stability and nobility."

Ouyang Yiming laughed and said, "Our black and white will definitely be eye-catching." Xu Hui laughed and said, "Yes, that will make the memory clearer." She paused and said, "How about this, if we can really choose in a couple of days, let's go take wedding photos, so we won't be in a rush before the wedding." Ouyang Yiming nodded and said, "Okay, the day after tomorrow is Sunday, let's go take photos after we pick out our wedding dresses."

After breakfast on Sunday, Ouyang Yiming told Mao Yuqin that he and Xu Hui were going to pick out wedding dresses. Xu Hui said, "Mom, come with us too, we'll buy you a couple of outfits."

Mao Yuqin hurriedly replied, "I don't need any clothes. What would an old lady like me need so many?" Xu Hui laughed and said, "Mom, are you even an old lady? My mom is about your age. Let Yiming tell you how my mom dresses. No, my beautiful mom can't always dress like an old woman. Even if she's not old, your old-fashioned outfit will make her look older." As she spoke, she tried to pull Mao Yuqin away.

Mao Yuqin smiled and declined. Ouyang Yiming said, "Mom, just come with us and get some ideas." Mao Yuqin said, "My taste isn't up to par. You guys go ahead. We still have so many clothes to change into at home." Xu Hui said, "I'll wash them with you when we get back." Mao Yuqin said, "You guys go ahead, I want to prepare some lessons after I wash the clothes." Seeing that Mao Yuqin insisted on not going, Xu Hui stood next to Mao Yuqin and compared their heights. Mao Yuqin knew that Xu Hui still wanted to buy her clothes, so she said, "Xu Hui, don't worry about me. Your father and I will go shopping together in a few days.

Even if you buy them, they might not fit me." Xu Hui didn't say anything and went out with Ouyang Yiming.

Ouyang Yiming drove Xu Hui to a wedding dress boutique near Pancheng Square, where they spent some time browsing before finally buying a white wedding gown. They then went to a department store and bought a black suit for Ouyang Yiming, as well as shoes and underwear for the two of them. By the time they finished shopping, it was already quite late. The two then went to a large nearby photo studio. The moment Ouyang Yiming stepped into the studio, he suddenly remembered the photo studio he and Liu Yan had entered at Wuchao Gate. The scene from that day flashed vividly in his mind: the couple in the shop; the woman's suggestion that Liu Yan also wear a wedding dress for her wedding photos; the woman's admiring expression and tone as she praised how well he and Liu Yan matched… those photos of him and Liu Yan flickered before his eyes… "Sigh, it's all in the past, why think about it now! Two years ago, Liu Yan and her husband had their wedding photos taken like this at a certain photo studio!" Ouyang Yiming thought to himself. The image of the marriage certificate Liu Yan had shown him, and the photo of Liu Yan and that man on it, flashed through his mind again. "Don't think about it anymore. Now I only have Xu Hui," he forced himself to tell himself, but a lingering sense of loss and unease still lingered.

After changing clothes in the men's and women's dressing rooms and having their makeup done, Ouyang Yiming and Xu Hui were both stunned when they met. Xu Hui, in her snow-white wedding dress, looked like a fairy descended from heaven, her elegance, purity, and ethereal beauty enhanced by an otherworldly aura. Ouyang Yiming, in a dark black suit and white tie, appeared more mature and dignified. Even the photographer secretly admired their beauty, noting that they were a truly rare and exquisite couple.

Around noon, they finished posing for their wedding photos in various poses. They emerged both very excited. Xu Hui said, "You look really handsome in that suit." Ouyang Yiming said, "You are the one who looks amazing! When I first saw you in that wedding dress, you looked like a fairy descending to earth, so beautiful." Xu Hui smiled and asked, "Did your heart skip a beat?" Ouyang Yiming said, "Yes, how did you know?" Xu Hui giggled twice and said, "My heart skipped a beat." They both laughed. Xu Hui suddenly remembered the photo of Ouyang Yiming and Liu Yan that she had seen, and her heart sank. She lowered her head, feeling uneasy, but didn't say anything. After a while, Xu Hui said, "We haven't bought clothes for Mom yet. Let's go, we'll buy some and then go home." The two went back into the mall and bought outfits for Mao Yuqin and Ouyang Anping. Xu Hui said, "Tomorrow I'm going shopping with Grandpa. It's hard to buy clothes for older people, so he needs to try them on himself. As for Dongdong's clothes, let him buy them himself. We don't really know what styles kids like. We'll give him some money when we get back and let him buy them himself." Ouyang Yiming agreed.

Five days later, Xu Hui returned to Suzhou. She would go back to discuss the specific details of her marriage with Ouyang Yiming with her parents. After returning to her unit, she would still need to arrange the specific date of the wedding according to her specific work.

Ouyang Yiming began to contact people to renovate the old house. After hearing about this, the office director offered to help Ouyang Yiming contact a construction team. Ouyang Yiming told the office director: "You can help me contact a construction team, of course I want quality, but you must not use a single tree or blade of grass in the research institute, and you must not let my personal house renovation project funds be related to the research institute's project in any way." The office director agreed. Ouyang Yiming also asked him to find a connection with the telecommunications bureau to install a telephone in the old house.

Love and Desire (144)

Chapter 142

Liu Yan received a call from her mother in the afternoon, asking if she was going home today because it was Saturday. She said that she and Liu Yan's father missed Ru Han very much. Liu Yan basically went back to her parents' house every weekend. And basically every time, Liu Yan's mother would call. Liu Yan said she was going home. Liu Yan's mother was always happy to hear Liu Yan say she was going home, so she said she would have the driver take her directly to Liu Yan's place after work and pick them up to go home together.

When Director Qin arrived at Liu Yan's house after work, little Ruhan jumped up and down, calling out "Grandma!" and ran into her arms. Director Qin smiled and picked him up, saying,

"My little darling, you've gotten heavier again, Grandma can hardly carry you anymore." Little Ruhan giggled. Director Qin asked, "Did you miss Grandma?" Ruhan said, "Yes, Grandma." Director Qin asked,

"Where did you miss her?" Little Ruhan raised a hand, pointed to his head with one finger, and said, "I missed her here." Director Qin said, "Really? Is that true?" Little Ruhan then patted his chest and said, "I missed her here too." Director Qin and the nanny laughed heartily.

Director Qin asked, "Who else do you miss?" Ruhan said, "Grandpa." Director Qin said, "If you miss Grandpa and Grandma, why don't you go?" Ruhan said, "Mom said Grandma and Grandpa have a car, but Mom doesn't have a car, so how can I go?" Director Qin and the nanny laughed again. Director Qin asked, "Then how about living with Grandpa and Grandma from now on?" Ruhan said, "No, Mom will cry if she doesn't see me when she gets home from work." Director Qin said, "No, your mom is an adult, she won't cry." Ruhan said, "I will cry, but I love Mom, and Mom loves me. I'll go to Grandpa and Grandma's house with Mom." While Director Qin and Ruhan were talking, the nanny came into the room to pack Ruhan's things.

Director Qin picked Ruhan up and sat her down on the sofa, asking, "How many poems have you memorized recently?" Ruhan said, "I can memorize a lot more." After saying that, she recited two poems. Director Qin nodded and praised Ruhan for being smart. Ruhan giggled and said, "Mom also says I'm smart, and she says I'm like Dad." Director Qin was startled and quickly asked, "Your mom talked about your dad?" Ruhan nodded and said, "Mom says my dad is the smartest person in the world, a great scientist, and I want to be a great scientist when I grow up. Mom says Dad is very, very busy. My mom says Dad will come to see Mom and me whenever he has time."

Director Qin's heart trembled. He stared at Ruhan without speaking, feeling waves of sadness welling up inside him, almost to the point of tears. He thought to himself, "The child is growing up day by day; if he doesn't see his father often, it will affect his development." He also secretly blamed Liu Yan for talking to the child about his father at such a young age.

Silently pondering, watching the nanny emerge from the room, Director Qin put Ru Han down, stood up, and walked over to the nanny, asking softly, "Why did Liu Yan talk to the child about his father? Did the child ask about it himself?" The nanny replied, "A few days ago, I took the child to play in the garden in the compound. The Wang couple from Building 5 also brought their child to play there. After playing for a while, Ru Han asked me why he didn't have a father. I didn't know what to say, so I just told him his father worked in another city. When we got home, Ru Han hadn't forgotten, so he asked Sister Liu, and that's what Sister Liu told him." Director Qin said "Oh," and then asked, "Did anyone say anything about Sister Liu?" The nanny said, "No one has said anything to me." Director Qin said, "Don't talk about such things with others in the future."

The nanny said, "I know."

Director Qin sat down on the sofa, her heart heavy with worry. Watching Ru Han play, she didn't know what to feel; a sour feeling welled up in her eyes, making them red. Liu Yan and Ru Han's future filled her with anxiety, causing her immense depression and frustration. She secretly regretted her past actions.

Since Liu Yan and Zhang Lei's divorce, she had pondered countless times the events that led to their union. She had endlessly regretted and blamed herself for her actions back then—an irreversible mistake. She felt an undeniable responsibility for Liu Yan's current state. Yet, she also sometimes blamed Liu Yan. How many girls would act so recklessly and absurdly? Her secretly giving birth to Ouyang Yiming's child was utterly absurd, and wasn't divorcing Zhang Lei equally absurd?

Liu Yan claimed she couldn't develop feelings for Zhang Lei and couldn't live with someone she had no feelings for. But didn't Liu Yan consider Ru Han's upbringing in a single-parent family? She had also repeatedly sighed inwardly, realizing that young people are still too naive and unable to control their impulses. But at the time, she didn't know that Liu Yan was thinking about divorcing Zhang Lei. By the time she found out, it was too late. What could she do? Even if she had known, could she have stopped her?

Since Liu Yan talked to her about divorcing Zhang Lei, she had wanted to persuade Liu Yan to remarry countless times, but she never dared to say it in front of Liu Yan. She seemed to have become somewhat timid about talking to Liu Yan about this topic, perhaps because of the guilt she felt towards Liu Yan.

Originally, she had picked Liu Yan up from school today because she had received a phone call from Zhang Lei's mother last night, and wanted to ask Liu Yan about some things they had discussed. She also wanted to talk to Liu Yan about her remarriage, but she was worried that Liu Yan would get angry and develop a dislike for her if she brought up the topic. Having overheard Xiao Ruhan mentioning her father's words, Director Qin decided that she absolutely had to talk to Liu Yan about this topic tonight.

After dinner, Director Qin and the nanny took Ruhan out to play, while Liu Yan stayed home and wrote something. A little later, she went downstairs and sat on the sofa in the living room watching TV with her father. Suddenly, Political Commissar Liu said, "Yanzi, I haven't really asked you about your situation in detail. I don't care what happened between you and Zhang Lei, but I hope you can pull yourself together. You need to reconsider your personal life now. You have a long road ahead of you; you can't continue like this." This was the first time in two years that Liu Yan had heard her father bring up this issue, and she was somewhat surprised. A heavy feeling settled over her, and she lowered her head, remaining silent.

Political Commissar Liu said, "When you and Zhang Lei were dating and got married, I always felt your marriage was too rushed. How could you possibly understand each other so well in such a short time? I don't want to comment on your divorce. Since you decided to divorce, it must be because you couldn't be together. As your father, although I haven't said it, I've always cared about you. There's something I want to ask: was your mother and Zhang Lei's mother involved in facilitating your marriage? Sometimes I think about it, and I feel like you weren't quite normal back then. Was there another reason?"

Liu Yan felt a chill run down her spine, a wave of sadness washing over her. But she knew her mother wouldn't tell her father about what happened back then, and she didn't need to bring it up now.

Even though she was now married with children, she didn't want to talk to her father about how her first time with Zhang Lei happened. There were some things a daughter shouldn't say to her father. She

especially couldn't reveal how her mother and Zhang Lei's mother had forced her to marry Zhang Lei. She didn't want to upset her father; she knew that even if he knew now, it would make him very angry.

She absolutely couldn't mention to her father that Ru Han was Ouyang Yiming's child. She knew that once her father knew about Ru Han, he would ask about her relationship with Ouyang Yiming, and she was truly afraid he would find out she had given birth to his child. She thought her father wouldn't accept this like her mother had. Of course, she knew her mother wouldn't tell her father about it.

She also couldn't let her father know about her past relationship with Ouyang Yiming. Once she mentioned Ouyang Yiming, he would have to know all the facts. Then, when her father knew that her mother had intentionally broken up her marriage with Ouyang Yiming and looked down on his family, leading to this situation, he would definitely be very angry with her mother. Given his temper, he might fly into a rage at her, and something unexpected might happen. At that point, her affair with Zhang Lei, where she watched pornography and lost her virginity to him, would all be exposed. She didn't want her father to know any of this.

The past was the past; there was no need to anger him further. At the time, she was afraid her father would find out about her first time with Zhang Lei, which was why she didn't dare tell him. She also felt ashamed to talk about what happened between Zhang Lei and her father, and she was afraid her straightforward father might do something outrageous. Now, she could only say that she was destined not to marry Ouyang Yiming, and that she was destined to have this year-long marriage with Zhang Lei. Why talk about it now, why blame him?

Liu Yan said, "At the time, I was willing to marry Zhang Lei. Of course, my mother and Zhang Lei's mother also wanted me to marry Zhang Lei, because they thought our families had a long-standing relationship with Zhang Lei's father, and that our families were of similar social standing." Political Commissar Liu said, "What do you mean by similar social standing? To put it bluntly, isn't it about matching social status? I come from a remote mountain village. My family are genuine farmers. Who do we need to consider matching social status with? I hate that kind of thinking the most. Yanzi, do you have that kind of thinking too?"

Liu Yan's heart trembled when she heard this, and then she felt a pang of sadness. She thought to herself, why didn't I hear you say these things sooner? If you had said those words before what happened with Zhang Lei, or if I knew your thoughts, I would have told you and Mom about my relationship with Ouyang Yiming shortly after I was transferred here. That way, my relationship with Zhang Lei would never have happened.

But you've rarely communicated with me since I was little, and you've never expressed these thoughts in front of me. Is it because we don't communicate enough as father and daughter, or because I've always been afraid of you?

She thought to herself, "Dad, even though I know your thoughts now, even though I know you're so upright, I still blame you. You're not a good father! Even though my brother and I know you love us, you've made us afraid of you. If you could show even a little bit of your fatherly kindness, my brother and I would have communicated with you.

I wouldn't be in this situation today. What's the use of saying all this now?"

Liu Yan composed herself and said, "Dad, I was very naive back then, too simple-minded, and my thinking was too simplistic." She looked up at her father, her heart... A wave of sorrow rose within her as she said, "Dad, I can't keep quiet. If you had been like this earlier, allowing my brother and me to communicate with you, so we wouldn't be afraid of you, we would dare to confide in you. But I'm afraid of you, and I don't dare to tell you anything."

Political Commissar Liu was startled by his daughter's words. He stared intently at Liu Yan for a long time before asking, "Yanzi, is this how you and your brother see me?" Liu Yan nodded and said, "Dad, to be honest, my brother and I are indeed very afraid of you. We don't dare to tell you anything. I only dare to talk to you now that I'm older." " I would never have dared to say these things two years ago.

I think even now, my brother probably wouldn't dare to say these things to you."

Political Commissar Liu's heart trembled. After thinking for a while, he said, "But I am your father, and I love you." Liu Yan felt a pang of sadness and said, "Dad, we know all this, but we're just afraid of you." Political Commissar Liu lit a cigarette, took a few puffs, and said, "Yanzi, it's my fault. I haven't been a good father." At this moment, Liu Yan couldn't control her emotions, and tears streamed down her face. She frowned and said, "Dad, please don't say anymore, I and..." "Your brother has never blamed you."

Political Commissar Liu sighed and said, "As a father, it's probably not something I can forgive my children for. Yanzi, I don't want to say too much, I just hope you can communicate with me more from now on. You must seriously consider your personal life; it won't be easy for you to raise a child alone. As your father, I hope you can start a new family as soon as possible. I'll worry about you a lot if things continue like this." Liu Yan said, "This is something that can't be forced. Having been divorced once, I will be more cautious about this." Political Commissar Liu said,

"Yes, you must be cautious and make sure you're sure before you get married. If you meet someone you're satisfied with, I hope you can tell me, and I can offer some advice." Liu Yan nodded.

At this moment, Director Qin and the nanny brought Ruhan into the house. Director Qin looked at Liu Yan, whose eyes were red, and was a little puzzled but didn't ask. Ruhan skipped in, jumped into Liu Yan's arms and snuggled for a while, then ran to Political Commissar Liu's arms. Political Commissar Liu smiled and sat him on his lap. Director Qin sat on the sofa watching TV, glancing at Liu Yan from time to time. He pondered Liu Yan's expression, his mind drifting to her personal life. He secretly thought that her husband might have just discussed this issue with her, and a heavy feeling settled in his heart.

Liu Yan also felt a heavy weight on her heart. Her eyes were on the TV, but she couldn't concentrate on anything. After a while, Ru Han and the nanny went to bed. Liu Yan washed her feet and went upstairs. She sat silently on the edge of the bed for a while, thinking about some of the things she had said to her father, lamenting her misfortune. She couldn't help but think of Ouyang Yiming again. She got up, pulled her suitcase from under the bed, took out photos of herself and Ouyang Yiming, and looked at them, tears welling up in her eyes again.

After Liu Yan went upstairs, Director Qin and Political Commissar Liu watched TV. Director Qin was still worried that Liu Yan might say something to her husband. Seeing that her husband didn't mention anything about the past, he sighed and said, "I feel terrible thinking about Yanzi raising Ruhan alone. What did Yanzi say to you just now?" Political Commissar Liu said, "Nothing much." Director Qin said, "But we're worried about this, but we don't have any good ideas." Political Commissar Liu said, "You should try to persuade her more often; there are some things she doesn't want to tell me." Director Qin felt relieved and said, "You know Yanzi's temperament. She didn't even tell us about such a big thing as divorce. I've tried to persuade her several times, but she won't listen." He thought to himself, Liu Yan is definitely still comparing any man to Ouyang Yiming. But when will she ever come to her senses like this?

Political Commissar Liu sighed, got up, and walked away. Director Qin sat on the sofa for a while, then got up and went upstairs. He entered Liu Yan's room and saw her sitting on the bed looking at photos. Liu Yan glanced up at her mother as she entered but didn't look away, continuing to look down at the photos. Director Qin sat down beside Liu Yan, silently watching her flip through the photos, her heart aching as if bleeding. After a long while, she said, "Yanzi, although I am your mother, I am moved by your feelings for Ouyang Yiming." Liu Yan trembled upon hearing this. Director Qin said, "But now, even if you blame me, it's useless.

Yanzi, I can't tell you to forget him, but you have to accept reality. If you continue like this, when will your father and I have peace of mind?" Liu Yan burst into tears.

After Liu Yan put the photos away, Director Qin said, "Yanzi, I want to ask you something." Liu Yan looked up at her. Director Qin asked, "Yanzi, did you divorce Zhang Lei because of that woman named Wu Min?" Liu Yan was startled, staring straight at her, her mind racing, wondering why her mother would mention Wu Min. So Liu Yan asked, "Who told you about this?" Director Qin said, "Well, yesterday Minister Jiang called me from Guangzhou and talked about Wu Min." Liu Yan asked, "What did he say?"

Director Qin looked at Liu Yan and said, "Wu Min's improper relationship with Zhang Lei was discovered by Zhang Lei's current wife. It's become known throughout the entire military compound. Wu Min was demoted two ranks, from company commander to deputy platoon leader, and received a disciplinary action before being demobilized and sent back to her hometown. Her boyfriend also broke up with her; they were planning to get married in a few months."

Liu Yan's heart skipped a beat. She remained silent for a moment, thinking, "People say good deeds are rewarded and evil deeds are punished. Wu Min has finally gotten her comeuppance." But Liu Yan didn't feel any excitement. Instead, she felt a sense of injustice and grievance for Wu Min. All of this was Zhang Lei's doing, yet in the end, it was still a nobody like Wu Min who suffered. Although some of Wu Min's actions were despicable, if Zhang Lei hadn't acted out of lust for power, Wu Min wouldn't have ended up in this state. In any case, Wu Min was pathetic; only Zhang Lei was truly hateful.

Liu Yan asked, "How are Zhang Lei and his wife doing?" Director Qin replied, "They're fine; they're still living their lives as usual." Director Qin thought to himself, "Who would be as impulsive as you, Liu Yan!" Liu Yan said, "I don't think this is Wu Min's fault. She's just a scapegoat for Zhang Lei. The real culprit should be Zhang Lei." Director Qin said, "But it's still hateful for a woman to seduce a married man. She just wanted to use Zhang Lei."

Liu Yan wanted to talk more about Wu Min and Zhang Lei with her mother, but she swallowed her words and said, "Forget it, I don't want to talk about them. These things have nothing to do with me."

Director Qin looked at her and said, "Minister Jiang called to ask me if the real reason for your divorce from Zhang Lei was because of Wu Min. Zhang Lei didn't tell her, and I haven't heard you mention it either. I just want to ask if you divorced because of Wu Min and Zhang Lei's improper relationship."

Liu Yan thought, there's no need to talk about Wu Min now. Wu Min has already paid the price for what she did; you could say she got her comeuppance. Since Zhang Lei didn't even tell his mother, why should I bring it up again? Isn't it all Zhang Lei's fault? So she shook her head and said, "No. It wasn't because of her." Director Qin asked, "Didn't you notice that Zhang Lei and Wu Min had an improper relationship back then? Otherwise, why would Zhang Lei have sent Wu Min to Guangzhou before he left?" Liu Yan said, "I don't know. I divorced Zhang Lei because I had no feelings for him, and it's impossible for us to ever have any. Okay, I don't want to mention Zhang Lei anymore. Their affairs have nothing to do with me. I really don't understand why Zhang Lei's mother called you about this."

Director Qin said, "Minister Jiang also suspected that your divorce from Zhang Lei was also for Wu Min, so she called to ask me. I really didn't know about this, so I told her I didn't know.

But Wu Min should also be punished." Liu Yan said, "Zhang Lei shouldn't be punished? I dare say this is basically Zhang Lei's responsibility. He got away with nothing just because he's the child of a high-ranking official. What if Wu Min were the child of a high-ranking official?" Director Qin looked at Liu Yan, lowered his head, and remained silent for a while.

After a period of silence, Director Qin decided to talk to Liu Yan about her remarriage. "Yanzi, did your father just talk to you about your remarriage?" Director Qin asked. Liu Yan replied, "Yes, he did." Director Qin asked, "What else did you talk about?" Liu Yan said, "Nothing much, just this." Director Qin looked at Liu Yan for a moment before asking, "Yanzi, what are you planning to do?" Liu Yan said, "I haven't thought about what to do yet."

Director Qin looked at Liu Yan, who had her head down, for a while before saying, "Liu Yan, when I went to your house after work, I heard Ruhan talk about his father, and I felt very bad." His eyes reddened as he spoke.

Liu Yan was startled and looked at her mother, asking, "What did Ruhan say?" Director Qin said, "Ruhan said his father is a scientist. You told him that, right?" Liu Yan's heart trembled, and the image of Ouyang Yiming flashed through her mind. Nodding, she said, "Yes, it was me and Ruhan who spoke to him. He's a descendant of Ouyang Yiming, and I want him to cultivate a scholarly mindset from a young age."

Director Qin sighed inwardly, feeling uneasy about Liu Yan's feelings for Ouyang Yiming and regretting his past mistakes. He said, "Liu Yan, I understand your feelings, but have you considered this? As the child grows older and more sensible, his understanding of his father will become clearer. With age, he will increasingly crave his father's love. How will you give it to him?"

Hearing Director Qin's words, Liu Yan felt as if a knife had slashed her heart; the pain was excruciating, and she felt dizzy. After a moment, Liu Yan looked up at her mother and asked, "What do you mean?"

Director Qin said, "Yanzi, for the sake of the child, I hope you can get married and give Ruhan the fatherly love he deserves." Liu Yan asked, "If I remarry, will I give Ruhan fatherly love? Can the man I remarry give Ruhan fatherly love?" Director Qin said, "Of course he will. As long as this man likes you and loves you, he will give this child fatherly love."

Liu Yan felt a pang of pain in her heart, and after a moment, she shook her head and said, "It's unlikely. No man would marry me without wanting me to have his child, and I don't want to divide my love for Ruhan among other children." Director Qin said, "Even if you remarry and have a child with another man, it's still your own flesh and blood, Liu Yan's. How is it any different from Ruhan?" Liu Yan said, "That's different, completely different. No man will make me love him the way I love Ouyang Yiming." "Director Qin said, 'You can develop feelings for other men too. You won't only love Ouyang Yiming in this life.'

At this moment, Liu Yan felt a surge of inexplicable anger. She stared at her mother and said, 'Haven't I tried? Didn't you make me marry Zhang Lei? Didn't we develop feelings for each other? In the end, we still got divorced. I'm so glad I had Ouyang Yiming's child. Otherwise, if I had had Zhang Lei's child, I don't know how I would have lived my life.'

Director Qin had been staring at Liu Yan's face while she spoke. Now, she felt particularly sad. She turned her face away, lowered her head, and tears streamed down her face. After a while, she turned back and said, 'Yanzi, I know I did something wrong back then, and I often blame myself. But Yanzi, I'm your mother. I would never have the slightest intention to harm you. How can I feel good about you being like this?'"

Even if you're still angry with me, I don't want you to live like this for the rest of your life. It's not good for you or the child. The past can't be undone, but you can't keep living like this forever. You're only in your twenties; when will it end? Your father doesn't talk about you much, but I can tell he's also upset about you. You need to think about yourself and the child. It's not easy for a woman to raise a child alone. You need to think about this seriously.”

Although Liu Yan had considered this issue countless times, she still had to think it over when her mother brought it up again. But she wouldn't accept any more arrangements from her mother, something she had considered countless times. Even if she remarried, she would choose a husband entirely according to her own standards. Liu Yan said, “Okay, I don't want to talk about this anymore. I'll think about what to do myself.”

Director Qin, hearing the thoughtful undercurrent in Liu Yan's words, was secretly delighted and said, “Yanzi, you must seriously consider this matter. Yanzi, to be honest, I'm doing this entirely for you and the child. This time, I won't make any decisions for you; you have to make the decision yourself.” "I think once you've had the idea of remarrying in your mind, you'll quickly find a good man. With a family like ours..." Seeing Liu Yan frown, she quickly stopped and changed her words, saying, "With your own conditions, finding a young man who's never been married wouldn't be a problem."

Liu Yan could still hear the hint of boasting about their family in her mother's words. Thinking of her mother's disdain for Ouyang Yiming, she felt a surge of disgust and coldly asked, "I don't think it's as easy as you say." Director Qin seemed oblivious to the disgust in Liu Yan's voice and said, "I don't think it'll be difficult. Liu Yan, you can find someone yourself, or if you want, I can ask someone to find one for you. What kind of standards do you want? I'll find someone according to your standards." Liu Yan said, "My standards are very low. I just want someone like Ouyang Yiming. Can you find one for me?"

Director Qin was stunned. She stared at Liu Yan for a moment, then tears welled up in her eyes again. Looking at Liu Yan, she asked, "Yanzi, are you really going to stay angry with your mother for the rest of your life?" Liu Yan's heart trembled. Looking at her tearful mother, her heart softened again. She thought to herself, after all, she was her own mother! She always felt angry when she thought about what her mother had done to her, but she had never truly hated her mother. No matter what her mother had done, she knew her mother had meant well and would never have had any intention of ruining her. But this so-called love had ruined her life.

Liu Yan said, "I don't want to talk about this anymore, and I don't want to be angry anymore. I'm like this now, it's my fate, and I have to accept it." Director Qin said, "Yanzi, the past is the past. Now you have to face your future, and the future of Ruhan. I hope you can think about your child, and of course, about yourself too."

Liu Yan looked up and said, "Mom, even if I remarry, can I still give Ruhan a father's love? What if the person I remarry doesn't love Ruhan, or even hates him? Wouldn't that cause even greater harm to Ruhan's heart?" "And if I have a child with him, and he only treats that child well, but dislikes Ruhan from the bottom of his heart, could I bear it? With his child and Ruhan on the other side, how would I face that predicament? Would I have to abandon my child with that other person and leave him with Ruhan? How would I live then? If anyone treats Ruhan even the slightest bit badly, I will definitely leave him. Ruhan is my child with Ouyang Yiming, and I don't want him to be despised by anyone. I can endure any grievance myself, but I cannot let Ruhan suffer any grievance. If I did, I would feel truly sorry for Ouyang Yiming. I have already wronged Ouyang Yiming, and I will not wrong Ouyang Yiming's child again. Mom, please don't say anymore. Although Ruhan doesn't receive fatherly love, I will make up for it with maternal love. I believe I can take good care of him and raise him well."

Director Qin said, "Yanzi, don't think too extreme about some things. Aren't there many stepfathers who treat their children very well? Children raised from a young age will feel very close to their stepfathers." Of course, you must carefully consider your options before remarrying. First and foremost, you need to assess the person. If this person is kind-hearted, likes you, and loves you, why wouldn't they love Ruhan? They would treat Ruhan like their own son. This matter isn't urgent; take your time to consider it. You also need to consider this. Yanzi, you're only in your twenties. Some people your age aren't even married yet, but you're going to raise a child alone for the rest of your life. Yanzi, I believe you can do it, but you're demeaning yourself; you're ruining your life. Child, I've been through this age too. How can a woman's life be without a man? Your body needs one too. You can hide some things from others, but you can't hide them from yourself. If you can find a man you like who also loves and cherishes Ruhan, it will be very beneficial for both you and your child. I'm not suggesting you start looking now; I mean you need to think it over. If you meet the right person, why can't you remarry? Don't overcomplicate things; try to think things through positively. After listening to her mother's words, Liu

Yan pondered silently. Could such a man truly exist? Could he really treat Ru Han like his own child? If she could find a man she loved who would treat her like his own child, it would undoubtedly be beneficial to Ru Han's growth, and she would be very happy. But could there be a man who loved Ru Han the way he loved his own child, and whom she loved in return?

Liu Yan was now truly afraid of marriage, and even more afraid of divorce. Of course, she hoped to meet a man like Ouyang Yiming again, hoping for another... An Ouyang Yiming appeared in her life. But she also knew that she could never meet a man like Ouyang Yiming again. Even if she remarried, she would have to compare that man to Ouyang Yiming; at the very least, there would have to be many men similar to Ouyang Yiming for her to accept him. Would such a man exist?

She had to be extremely cautious about remarriage and take it very seriously. She absolutely could not rush into marriage for any reason. Remarriage not only required her to like the man she loved, but also to pour out her true love for Ru Han before she could accept it. "It's very difficult, very difficult to find someone like that," Liu Yan said silently in her heart.

Director Qin said, "If you really continue like this, your father and I will never rest in peace. I already regret it so much, but now..." He broke down in tears.

Liu Yan shed tears and said, "Mom, please don't say anymore. Let's talk about this later." Director Qin said, "For the past two years, I've wanted to tell you this. Yanzi, although I'm your mother, I'm really afraid to tell you. I think about this all the time." I regret it, but there's nothing I can do. Sometimes I think about going to see Ouyang Yiming, about telling him about your situation, about admitting my mistakes to his face, but even thinking about it, I don't have the courage to face him. Sometimes I think that maybe Ouyang Yiming isn't married, maybe he doesn't have any relationships with other girls, but I know that's just my imagination; a boy like that wouldn't be without admirers.”

Liu Yan said, “Yiming and Xu Hui should be very happy now. Please don't inquire. I have no hope for Yiming anymore. I don't want to disturb his normal life anymore. Even if he really isn't married and isn't in love with anyone, I'm afraid he won't forgive me.”

Director Qin said, “If there's still hope between you and Ouyang Yiming, I'd be willing to beg him to marry you.”

Liu Yan's heart trembled upon hearing her mother's words. Looking at her mother with tears in her eyes, she said, “Mom, don't think about it anymore. He has Xu Hui; he wouldn't be a man without women's love. I've already hurt him, and I don't want him to suffer any more. I just hope he's happy; only then will I have peace of mind.” Director Qin nodded and said, "

I know in my heart that I've wronged him, and I've wronged both of you. I want to make amends, but I don't know how. Yanzi, try to think more positively. Know that there's no hope of ever being with Ouyang Yiming again, so don't cling to your feelings for him. There are many excellent men out there who are worthy of your love. For your sake and Ruhan's, consider remarriage."

Liu Yan said, "I might consider it in the future. But if it's not a man I like, or a man who can give Ru Han his fatherly love, then no matter how good he is, I won't marry him." Director Qin was delighted at this moment, after all, Liu Yan had said she was willing to consider it. So she hurriedly said, "Yanzi, it will happen, it definitely will. Yanzi, don't worry, as long as it's something you like, something you love, Mom promises not to interfere anymore."

Liu Yan felt another wave of sorrow at this moment, thinking to herself, "If you hadn't interfered with me and Ouyang Yiming back then, we would already be married now. What kind of life would it be if we lived together? Now you're not interfering anymore, but it's too late. I've permanently lost the person I loved most, and this is a pain I'll never forget! Even if I can accept other men, I can never erase it from my heart."

Director Qin said, "You and Zhang Lei have been divorced for more than two years now. Ruhan is getting older, and your father and I are worried not only about you but also about Ruhan. In a few years, Ruhan will be going to school and will soon know that other children have fathers while he doesn't, which is not good for his development. I hope you can consider these things as soon as possible. Not for yourself, but for Ruhan's sake."

Liu Yan trembled. She thought to herself, "If I could remarry, it wouldn't just be to find a father for Ruhan and bring him fatherly love, but also to live with this man myself. If, as my mother says, it's just to find a father for Ruhan, then wouldn't it have been the best outcome if I hadn't divorced Zhang Lei and continued living like that,

with Zhang Lei not knowing the child wasn't his? Would I then regret divorcing Zhang Lei?" Thinking about it, it's really ridiculous. Resolving many things only leads to new problems. If I really married another man for Ruhan, could I possibly accept him in my heart? What difference would that make from just settling down with Zhang Lei? Even if I find a man who loves me or whom I love, if he can't accept Ruhan, I won't feel happy.

"It's so difficult now, harder than anything else. Can I find a man I love who also loves me and deeply loves Ru Han?"

"Yes, some things can be hidden from others but not from oneself. After all, I'm just an ordinary woman, a woman with emotions and desires! Can I really stay with Ru Han for the rest of my life? How could Ru Han possibly stay with me forever? He'll grow up and start his own family. I'm only in my twenties, there are still decades ahead of me. I say I don't want to think about it now, but I can't help but think about it. But remarriage is so difficult, there are so many things to consider!" "I

'm already destined to be apart from Ouyang Yiming, thinking about him is pointless, but I can't stop thinking about him. If I meet a man who loves me and whom I love, and most importantly, who can accept Ru Han, would I marry him, bringing Ru Han with me?"

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