【No Love on the Other Shore】(47-55)

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-23

Chapter 47 Tomorrow is Coming Soon
Jiang Yunuo entered the dormitory, where the four of them rarely gathered together.
She saw a stack of books on Guan Ying's desk, mostly GRE and TOEFL books. She picked one up and flipped through it, asking, "Are you planning to go out with Lei Yuan?" The ring on her hand reflected the midday sunlight, dazzlingly bright. Guan Ying
looked closely and became even more certain that it was the exact same style.
Her heart pounded with this discovery.
Perhaps she was a little tired from reading, she let out a long sigh, "I have no choice," she said with a teasing smile, but there was no helplessness in her words.
Jiang Yunuo teased her, "Why go out? Back home, you get good food and drinks, and your parents take care of you. Going abroad, you'll have to eat bread and cook for yourself, suffering in a foreign land." Guan Ying rested her chin on her hand and
said slowly, "Who told me to meet my nemesis? Let's give it a try..."
Huang Zixi laughed and said, "Handsome guys have extraordinary charm. If I met someone like that, I'd be willing to be ensnared too."
Zhou Yu scoffed, "That's what you call spineless! Being led by the nose, having no opinions of your own, just revolving around a man—what kind of person is that?"
Jiang Yunuo stood with her back to Zhou Yu, playfully sticking out her tongue at Guan Ying.
Guan Ying smiled nonchalantly, "Why not hold on to what you like? Who says women should just stand still and wait? We should actively strive for it, shouldn't we? If we try our best but still can't be together, it's just not meant to be, and we can't blame anyone else."
Jiang Yunuo gave a playful thumbs-up.
Guan Ying continued, "With our major, we can go out and try our luck. Instead of wasting time being stubborn, we should prepare well, try to get some scholarships, and avoid causing trouble for our families."
"That makes sense," Huang Zixi nodded, "We should stick to two things at once—one for our careers, and one for men. I can't concentrate on my studies right now, so I'll just have to go after men." After saying that, she met her boyfriend, grabbed her lunchbox, and headed straight for the cafeteria.
After Zhou Yu left, Guan Ying looked at Jiang Yunuo and sighed softly. "Many people are all talk and no action, preferring to give up a peaceful life for a thorny path. Perhaps, when you walk that path, what you see isn't the scenery you dream of, but..." She snorted and pouted, "Oh, so it's nothing special after all."
Her expression was both cute and comical. Jiang Yunuo patted her shoulder comfortingly, "Love comes and goes, does it give you time to choose? Don't overthink it. As long as you don't hurt anyone else, just do what you decide. Life is short, whether you live or die."
Everyone, no matter how wise or resourceful, is just a fish on the chopping block of fate. Who can predict the future? After
saying this, Jiang Yunuo felt somewhat confused. When did her beliefs become so diametrically opposed, almost to the point of prioritizing love above all else? This was something she had once vehemently disagreed with. Because it reminded her of Jiang Min, the person who spent her entire life trapped in the swamp she had created, unable to extricate herself. She had told herself she would never become another Jiang Min.
She had also once utterly despised so-called love. Such an illusory and fleeting thing, yet capable of bringing devastating disaster. Once you're tormented to the point of near death, you can't even grasp its tail, as if it had never existed.
But now, everything had been overturned, without her even realizing it.
Thinking of this, her emotions turned negative. "I hope," she said blankly to Guan Ying, "that you two will have a good outcome." Guan
Ying, seeing her absent-minded appearance, grew increasingly uneasy, as if the question buried deep in her heart was an undeniable fact. "Xiao Jiang," she couldn't help but want to ask, "Are you...you two..." How could she say it? If it were true...if it were true, would she admire her courage or condemn her recklessness?
Even an observer's heart was filled with such turmoil, unable to find peace.
"What should you do if a relationship doesn't receive blessings from others?" Guan Ying finally asked, though in a much more tactful way.
Jiang Yunuo instinctively answered, "Let's talk about tomorrow after today."
That was the answer.
That's why their gazes were so intense and persistent, yet so fragile. Like saplings swaying in a storm, ready to crumble at any moment. Those eyes, though tried to conceal, still shone with a heart-wrenching longing, an unmasked love. Guan
Ying suddenly felt an urge to cry. People living in mutual love often have the softest hearts, filled with compassion and forgiveness. They always naively hope that those around them can be as happy as they are.
Jiang Yunuo's emotions were sensitive and delicate, but right now, she was lost in her own thoughts; otherwise, she wouldn't have noticed how strange Guan Ying's expression was—awkward, worried, surprised, and hesitant to speak.
Jiang Yunuo was thinking about that person, about that day, after the dinner party, what he had said to her.
It was on the way back to school; they had deliberately kept a considerable distance between them, walking one after the other. She chatted with a few girls ahead, while he and Lu Chengyu lagged behind at the back of the crowd.
She thought that was it.
But then he suddenly called out, "Jiang Yunnuo!" He called her name loudly.
The bystanders chuckled dismissively, assuming he was just teasing his sister.
However, she seemed to detect a kind of cathartic pleasure in his voice.
She longed to be near him, so she turned and walked towards him, brushing past Lu Chengyu.
He stopped, a cigarette dangling from his lips, standing there quietly waiting for her.
As she drew closer, he suddenly blew smoke into her face, causing her to cough repeatedly.
He smiled smugly, and the next second he embraced her right there at the bustling school gate.
She frantically tried to break free.
But she heard him say, "When will I be able to announce to others that you are mine?"
No one knew the answer.
And so they kissed gently in the summer sunshine.
She still remembered the faint smell of his sweat, the anxious expression in his eyes, even the rhythm of his breathing.
Despite the fear, life had to go on.
Love, perhaps, wasn't as fragile as people imagined, ending so easily.
It was a turbulent and chaotic time. In the anxious struggle and decline, in the weariness of balancing studies and money, amidst the indifference or familiar glances of others, suppressed emotions seemed to erupt unintentionally, carrying a painful yet resolute self-exile, spreading unrestrainedly into the fragile and transparent hearts of lovers.
Perhaps from the very beginning, a virus of self-destruction has been hidden in human genes.
The more sinful, the more impossible to relinquish; the more painful, the more resilient; the more forbidden, the more it carries an extreme, decadent beauty.
And this extreme attachment undoubtedly became a strong, heavy rope, inescapable, unbearable.
Like a battle between souls, it was ever-present, destroying the mind.
They wanted to be together more and more often, becoming increasingly immersed in each other, forgetting themselves in another world. Their sweet rendezvous might take place in the dappled sunlight of a grove of trees in the afternoon, in the dark corridors of the teaching building at night, or in a brightly lit but empty art studio.
That evening, they parted in front of the dormitory building.
He whispered, "Wait for me another year, you must wait for me."
The surrounding gazes made her uncomfortable; she nodded slightly and ran inside.
When Jiang Yunuo returned to her dormitory, the lights were about to go out, and her three roommates were gathered around a computer.
"What are you looking at?" she asked, putting down her bag and walking over.
The three seemed not to have noticed her return, and all turned to look at her abruptly.
Guan Ying suddenly grabbed her hand, "Xiao Jiang…" she stammered, unable to speak, her expression unreadable.
The other two wore expressions of surprise and uncertainty.
Jiang Yunuo's gaze passed over them, landing on the computer screen.
It was a familiar interface, the campus network's BBS.
The video on the page was still playing, the image clear and smooth, the shooting effect excellent.
It was an art studio. A couple was passionately kissing. Their figures finally separated slightly, their faces exposed to the bright light of the room. Though their features weren't perfectly clear, they were still recognizable.
Jiang Yunuo's face was pale. Her hands, stiff and weak, gripped the table in front of her. She had almost forgotten how to breathe, feeling helpless and apprehensive.
Her roommates stood behind her, silent.
It was a moving scene: the boy was tall and handsome, with deep-set eyes; the girl's delicate body was nestled in his arms, her expression tender. Their kiss was passionate and unrestrained.
The title on the video was extremely eye-catching; the small black words stung her eyes, tearing at her very core. She reached out, her hand trembling, and gripped the mouse, numbly closing the webpage.
The lights suddenly went out, darkness instantly concealing the shameful sin. Everyone came to their senses. Some turned on the emergency lights, others grabbed basins and towels to wash up, each busy with their own things, as if nothing had happened. But she heard a low, clear voice say, "Pervert."
Those two words pierced her ears, causing her blood to rush back to her head. A wave of intense dizziness washed over her, and she almost collapsed onto the edge of her bed. She pressed her forehead, unable to think.
Guan Ying stood nearby, her hand gently resting on her shoulder, silent.
Her phone vibrated frantically in her pocket; she knew who it was, but hung up without even looking.
A boundless desolation washed over her.
What would tomorrow bring?
Chapter 48: The Papercutter of Life
Normally, people cut across their lives according to societal happiness, like a papercutter.
------ Gu Cheng, "Ying'er"
It is said that this poet, who killed his wife and abandoned his child, was both a genius and a child. Reason was always far removed from him; he complained about and escaped worldly ethics, striving to live in his own constructed kingdom.
He was an extreme person, which is why he could write such lines.
When people are deeply immersed in the desires of love, haven't they also had destructive thoughts? It's just that reason makes them fragile, preventing them from entering the poet's desperate madness.
Jiang Yunuo lay in bed, staring at the white ceiling. A spiderweb in the corner, covered in dust, clung to the corpses of tiny flying insects, swaying gently in the breeze. It was a miniature society, full of conflict, traps, and the law of the jungle, but devoid of tears and sorrow. And she, in this real world, was like prey trapped in a gray web, destined to struggle in shame and die in numbness.
In the morning, her roommates hurriedly washed up, packed their books, and occasionally whispered to each other, their footsteps sounding chaotic yet fulfilling. In the past, she would have started her busy day like them, but now everything was different. She didn't even have the courage to step out of that door.
Guan Ying approached her bedside, seeing that she still had her eyes closed, and unsure how to comfort her, could only softly say, "Sleep a little longer, we're going to class, or… I'll stay with you?"
"I want to be alone," Jiang Yunuo said, then fell silent. She didn't know how long she would sleep. If she could die in her sleep, it would be a truly blissful outcome.
When Guan Ying arrived at the classroom, the teacher hadn't started class yet. As expected, everyone was talking about the video on the school BBS. Gossip is always a source of excitement, especially something as sensational as this. Knowing she was close to Jiang Yunuo, others came over to probe her, their expressions a mixture of curiosity, surprise, and disdain. She consistently denied knowing anything. Meanwhile, Huang Zixi and Zhou Yu were surrounded by a large group of people; both were talkative, and who knew what they'd come up with.
After quite a while, the old professor who taught cryptography finally arrived, followed by their class teacher. Although the campus network had been blocked, the incident had already become the talk of the town; the internet spread information incredibly quickly.
Guan Ying spent the entire day in class, shuttling between the various teaching buildings, dormitories, and the cafeteria. Along the way, she and her roommates received a 100% staring reception, but being pointed at and whispered about behind their backs was extremely unpleasant.
As evening fell, Lei Yuan invited Guan Ying to dinner, bringing along Lu Chengyu, who had come to freeload.
"Where did Jiang Yunnuo go? Xu Ke has been looking for her," Lei Yuan said, seemingly unconcerned about the situation. Guan
Ying, however, wasn't very hungry. "She didn't go to class, wasn't in her dorm, and her phone was off. If it were me, I wouldn't want to see anyone else either. How's Xu Ke doing?"
Lei Yuan chuckled. "I didn't see anything wrong with him. This kid's used to being a public figure, but he's been hogging the basketball hoop all day, practicing his three-pointers in the gym, and his skills are absolutely terrible..."
Guan Ying gave him a disapproving glare. "You seem quite happy about it, what's with all the excitement?"
"Exactly," Lu Chengyu, who had been engrossed in his food, also glared at Lei Yuan.
Lei Yuan seemed a little aggrieved. "How could I not be happy? It wasn't easy for me! I was keeping this secret all by myself, with no one to talk to. I was practically suffocating. Now that everyone knows, I'm finally free!" He leaned back lazily in his chair. "Ah, free, free!"
Guan Ying asked curiously, "When did you find out? Did Xu Ke tell you?"
Lei Yuan curled his lip dismissively. "Who do you think I am? Do I need them to tell me? Last time Xu Ke broke his hand and went to the hospital, I could tell something was off between those two, and sure enough, things started to go wrong. The way Xu Ke looked at his sister, it was so electrifying!"
Lu Chengyu suddenly interjected, "I knew about this when I was in high school," and continued eating.
Lei Yuan stared at him, mouth agape. "You're just bragging. You didn't even know Jiang Yunnuo back then," he slammed down his chopsticks. "I don't believe you knew before me!"
Lu Chengyu smiled coolly. "There's always someone better." Guan Ying
had a headache. What kind of time was this for these two to be arguing about this? "You knew all along, why didn't you try to persuade them? Now look what's happened," she shook her head in disbelief. "What kind of brothers are you? You saw someone jump and didn't even try to help them."
Lu Chengyu said calmly, "Why try to persuade him? He's such a grown man, doesn't he know what he's doing? He's a smart man, knowing his own situation but still choosing to jump in, how can anyone persuade him?"
"That's right, that's right," Lei Yuan nodded repeatedly, "Actually, Xu Ke is quite pitiful. After his parents divorced, he lived alone, even during holidays. His father rarely cared for him. He lacked love as a child, so it's true that he'll be somewhat outrageous as an adult." He added with a hint of pride, "My parents, on the other hand, can't bear to see him like that, so they often cook nice meals and invite him to our house for dinner... Yingying, your in-laws are nice people."
Lu Chengyu smiled, "His grades are better than yours, and your parents like those with good grades. They've invited me to dinner before. Your parents always say at the dinner table, 'Our Lei Lei just barely passed physics, Xu Ke, you need to help him more. His English isn't good either, Chengyu, you need to keep an eye on him for us too...'" Although he wasn't usually talkative, he had a good ability to imitate, and at this moment, his angular face revealed a rare mischievousness.
"Alright, alright," Lei Yuan, feeling utterly humiliated in front of Guan Ying, quickly interrupted Lu Chengyu, changing the subject. "Actually, when I first saw Xu Ke and Jiang Yunuo together, I felt a bit awkward, after all, well, you know. But after watching them for a while, I got used to it, and actually found them quite compatible.
" Guan Ying muttered, "I also found it a little hard to accept, thankfully Xu Ke is quite handsome..."
"Handsome than me?" Lei Yuan said, a little jealous. "Who said only men care about looks?"
Guan Ying ignored him and looked at Lu Chengyu. "I thought Xiao Jiang and you..."
Lu Chengyu's eyes seemed to dim for a moment, and after a while, he said, "Xu Ke has had a tough time these past few years. He's very disciplined and stubborn."
Many things could only be left unsaid. Guan
Ying wisely didn't say anything more, thinking about the trials and tribulations the two of them would face. Even as an observer, she could almost feel the chilling, incomprehensible feeling. Why would two such intelligent people choose a hopeless and thorny path? Her heart was filled with a mix of melancholy and wistful emotions.
Jiang Yunuo was led to the department head's office.
From the college's Party Secretary to their young class advisor, everyone wore serious expressions tinged with embarrassment, occasionally revealing a hint of curiosity and disgust.
The female protagonist in the video, however, maintained a calm and composed expression.
This serene tranquility, to these people, didn't seem like a display of strength, but rather a cathartic outburst of self-abandonment.
Faced with this seemingly well-behaved girl, the teachers couldn't help but sigh, "These days, there are all kinds of people."
The class advisor, a young man who had just finished his master's degree, wearing black-rimmed glasses, stood among the group, his face flushed with shame, as if he too had been involved in this scandal.
A file lay on the desk. The college leader glanced at it, and the young class teacher, forcing himself to remain calm, flipped through it, saying, "Secretary Li, our director and I have both seen Xu Ke's previous records. You are indeed siblings, that's for sure." He looked up at the person involved, desperately hoping she would offer a rebuttal, perhaps there was more to the story? His grades weren't great in school, and he wasn't particularly outgoing. He finally managed to stay on as a teacher after pulling a bunch of strings. Just as everything was starting out, this obstacle suddenly appeared on his promising career path.
This wasn't an ordinary scandal. If it were just students living together off-campus or engaging in premarital sex on campus, and someone reported it, at most it would just be a demerit or warning. In today's society, whether in middle school or university, such things are commonplace, and teachers usually turn a blind eye, happy to have some peace and quiet.
Jiang Yunnuo had no words to refute, remaining silent. That's just the kind of person she was. She was afraid, but once the truth came out and she was forced to confront someone directly, she would become calm, her mind clearer than ever before, regaining her former stubbornness.
Now, anything she said would be too late, only inviting more ridicule, including from herself.
The young man, unable to contain his anger, slammed his file on the table. Only afterward did he realize his superiors were present; it wasn't his place to vent his anger, and he felt somewhat embarrassed.
The Party Secretary looked at Jiang Yunuo without speaking, his disgust undisguised.
The department head cleared his throat and spoke slowly, "You're an exchange student, and your academic record isn't with us. You were originally supposed to return to your original school after this semester, but this matter has had a very negative impact on other students and the school's reputation, so you don't need to take the exams this semester. You'll be moving out of the school tomorrow."
The implication was clear: go back to where you came from, the sooner the better.
As expected.
Jiang Yunuo nodded. "What about Xu Ke? What does the school plan to do with him? It's not his fault; I… I provoked him first," she said.
The Party Secretary sighed impatiently, "Even after all this commotion, you still have the nerve to say such things? Kids these days are really something else. I wonder how your parents raised them?"
The department head continued, "Regarding your brother's situation, their department will hold a meeting with the school to discuss it. I heard his grades are good. Please have your parents come over tomorrow..."
The teachers said a few more words before waving Jiang Yunuo away. The moment she closed the door, a cold, mocking voice pierced her ears, "...You have psychological problems, don't you..."
It was past eight o'clock when she walked out of the college building, but the number of students on the street hadn't decreased. Surrounded by all sorts of stares, she felt completely lost, not knowing what to do or where to go. Those gazes shot at her like arrows, as if she were watching a madwoman running naked in the snow.
She reached the edge of the playground, where there was a dark, empty platform. She slowly walked up the top step and sat down weakly. She covered her face with her hands and finally burst into tears.
Tears streamed down her face uncontrollably through her fingers. She didn't know how long it lasted, until she was exhausted from crying, before frantically wiping her eyes and face with the back of her hand. Even a river of tears wouldn't solve anything.
Pale moonlight shone on the stands, and she sat there quietly, her turbulent emotions gradually calming. She stared at the dark blue sky, but out of the corner of her eye, she saw a figure slowly approaching.
When she recognized the person, she smiled bitterly and said, "What are you doing here? Did you come to call me a pervert too?"
Chapter 49 The Fruits of Summer
Lu Chengyu's tall figure stood beside Jiang Yunnuo.
"We've been looking for you everywhere," he said, looking down at her. "He's been looking for you the whole time."
"Oh," she simply replied softly.
"Are you feeling better?" he asked.
"What do you think?" she countered with a smile, "Being treated like a madwoman, what do you think…?"
Lu Chengyu sighed and sat down beside her. "Why don't we hurry up and leave? Everything will be resolved then."
Jiang Yunnuo lowered her head, burying her face in her arms, remaining silent for a long time.
After a while, she finally spoke, her voice choked with emotion, "I have no choice... The way those people look at us is like they're looking at monsters, I don't know what to do..." She suddenly looked up, her eyes brimming with tears, "What about you? Do you also think we're disgusting and absurd?"
"No," Lu Chengyu smiled at her, "Jiang Yunnuo, actually you're very photogenic, you look very beautiful in the videos."
She looked at him for a moment, then smiled bitterly, "Don't joke around."
“I’m not joking,” he said seriously. “The decision is yours. Can you really… let him go? You don’t need to answer too quickly.”
“If I could, I would have let go long ago,” her voice was soft but unwavering.
“That settles it. Why do you care about those irrelevant people?”
“What?” Jiang Yunnuo looked at him, confused.
“No one can stop you two from being together except yourself,” Lu Chengyu patted her shoulder. “For example, if I wanted to date you, absolutely no one could stop me, unless… you don’t want to,” he leaned closer to her. “You don’t want to, right? Your heart can’t hold anyone else but him, like me?”
She was momentarily stunned, opened her mouth, and uttered two words, “Yes.”
Lu Chengyu smiled and nodded. “Jiang Yunnuo, that’s just your personality, so straightforward.”
She lowered her head and remained silent.
Lu Chengyu sat quietly with her for a while, then asked, “Are you feeling any better?”
“Yes,” she said, “thank you.”
Lu Chengyu sighed softly and stood up. "Alright, I should go," he said, glancing casually at
the playground not far away.
Jiang Yunnuo followed his gaze. By the dimly lit streetlights, the man stood at the bottom of the steps, looking up at them. His expression was indistinct, but the contours of his face were sharp and resolute. He stood against the light, like a captivating silhouette.
Just looking at him made her heart ache.
Lu Chengyu walked further and further away.
The vast playground was now empty except for the two of them.
She wanted to run to him and cry her heart out. She stood up, but then stopped.
Only a few dozen steps separated them, yet it felt like two worlds, one at the edge of darkness, the other at the opposite end of light.
She saw him extend his right hand to her, the ring on his hand faintly emitting a white halo, so small, almost invisible, so unreachable.
She didn't have the courage to go down, not even the courage to look at him. She didn't have the courage to face her own vulnerability, nor the courage to tell him that she had once wanted to leave. She lacked the courage to witness his pain and wavering.
Jiang Yunuo lowered her head, her mind a jumble of thoughts, none of which she could grasp.
Xu Ke came to her side, carefully trying to pull her into his arms.
She took a step back, avoiding him.
He gripped her arm, as if trying to grasp hope.
She tried desperately to pry his fingers open, but his grip was so firm, as if he were using all his strength, as if he were digging into her bones. She couldn't pry them open, and finally, she couldn't help but sob.
Xu Ke gently pulled, and Jiang Yunuo fell into his arms.
Then she heard his words, as if they came from the distant twilight.
He said, "I love you."
Jiang Yunuo felt utterly exhausted. She didn't want to think about anything, like a puppet being led forward by him.
The gazes of others caused her pain and numbed her. This world had finally become a strange world.
She followed him home.
As soon as he closed the door, he began to kiss her passionately.
She had no strength left and could only let him do as he pleased.
The more she did this, the harder he pressed, until he was practically devouring her.
She knew he was trying to prove something; he was too sensitive, yet equally vulnerable.
Jiang Yunuo felt a pang of sorrow and tried to comfort him, with her mouth, her teeth, her increasingly rapid breathing accompanying their intertwined lips and tongues.
She only wanted to soothe him, just like when they were children. When he was sad, she would play with him, try to cheer him up, even if they had argued and fought fiercely before. She just couldn't bear to see him vulnerable, couldn't bear to see him afraid.
Soft-heartedness, it turned out, was also a habit.
Her consciousness gradually blurred, lost in his increasingly fervent breath.
Her body felt slightly cool; her short-sleeved cardigan was ripped open, the buttons on her chest falling to the floor, bouncing loudly. The rhythmic sound was particularly crisp in the darkness, like a cool stream of water added to the fiery passion. But the tiny drop of water evaporated with a mesmerizing "whoosh."
Her denim skirt slipped down to her ankles, and her bra hung precariously on her chest. His hand finally released her soft breasts, attempting to invade her tightly pressed legs.
"Let me in," he breathed in her ear.
She quickly grabbed his hand, "No..."
"Why not?" He paused, turning his head to bite her earlobe, "Why not, hmm?"
"We..." Her heart pounded wildly; if she said anything more, it would shatter.
He suddenly flipped her over, pressing her against the wall, "We've done it before," one hand went around to her chest, roughly gripping her, his upper body pressed against her back, "We've already gone this far, what else is impossible?"
Despair filled her heart, and she began to sob softly.
"You..." he sighed heavily, "What do you want from me? Do you want to leave, don't you?"
She pressed her forehead against the wall, silent.
Then.
She heard the sound of a zipper being pulled open, and felt a hard, burning sensation against her waist.
His hands, which had been around her chest, moved down to her lower abdomen. He lifted her body and forcefully pressed her against him.
He wanted to enter her urgently, and she couldn't help but let out a soft moan, her body tensing. Her hands braced against the wall, her toes barely touching the ground, yet she had nowhere to grip. A strong sense of insecurity welled up inside her, a feeling like a kitten's claws gently scratching at her heart.
She couldn't see him, she wanted to hold him, he was just standing behind her, and she missed him so much. His movements, his suppressed breathing, his sweat, trapped her tightly, leaving her no way to escape. The urge within her screamed, wanting to surge forth, a mixture of fear and longing that made her body tremble uncontrollably.
"Don't you want it?" He pushed in inch by inch, his voice hoarse as he whispered in her ear, "Nono, are you lying to me?"
The intense fullness brought her a strange dizziness, and waves of pain, accompanied by even stronger desire, assaulted her. She couldn't help but let out soft moans, her fingernails almost digging into the wall, her arms utterly powerless.
He breathed heavily, planting a dense layer of wet kisses on her cheeks, his movements becoming more violent and rapid, each thrust deeper than the last.
Her thoughts drifted like tattered pieces of paper, slowly scattering in the wind, her consciousness focused only on a single point in her body. Unbearable friction and impact followed one after another, a whirlwind of pleasure finally culminating in the ultimate joy, assaulting the depths of her soul. She collapsed to the ground, unable to bear it any longer.
He lifted her waist, their intimate parts still intertwined, struggling and throbbing impatiently within her, still so erect and full. He thrust even more violently, and she felt only weakness and helplessness, almost bursting into tears.
Their sweat mingled, seeping into every pore, inseparable, a passionate embrace.
Finally, he carried her back to bed.
Jiang Yunnuo lay there wearily, her eyes still blurry with sleep, watching him get up and leave.
"Where are you going?" she asked, grabbing his wrist.
Xu Ke leaned down and kissed her, gently brushing away the sweat-dampened strands of hair from her forehead. "If you leave, I'll go with you."
She looked up at him.
"I plan to apply to schools over there, but I need financial guarantees," he said, walking to his desk and opening the top drawer. "We can sell the house, and after graduation, we can immigrate to Montreal." He pulled out a large brown paper envelope, slightly larger than A4 paper. "We'll..." His words suddenly trailed off as he dumped the contents of the envelope onto the table, frantically searching through it.
"What's wrong?" Jiang Yunnuo sat up and asked.
"It's gone," he said anxiously. "The property certificate, I clearly put it in there."
"Look again, maybe it's still in the drawer."
Xu Ke ransacked the drawers of his desk, then the bookshelves, the storage room, and even the wardrobes in each bedroom.
The room was a mess.
He returned to his desk, putting the contents of the envelope back one by one, then, unwilling to give up, took them out and examined them again.
He remained silent.
"Keke," Jiang Yunnuo gently tugged at his sleeve.
He suddenly slammed the envelope on the table. "Xu Ruihuai took it, it must be him," he said, slowly sitting down on the edge of the bed, running his fingers through his short hair. "It must be him..."
Both of them remained silent; the only sound in the room was the ticking of the clock.
He slapped his forehead hard. "I'm so stupid, I should have realized it sooner."
Jiang Yunnuo grabbed his hand, but he immediately pulled away. He sat with his head down, his back to her, knees bent, his face buried in his arms, lost in thought.
"Keke," she knelt on the bed beside him, forcefully turning his face towards her.
He was forced to look up, his eyes brimming with tears.
Just like the look on his face when they parted years ago.
A pang of pain shot through her heart. She reached out and pulled him into her arms. "Coco, Coco," she gently shook him. "Don't do this, there's another way..."
He pressed his face against her chest, breathing deeply. "What other way? I'll stay, you go, okay?" His voice was low, melting into the heavy air.
She gently kissed his forehead.
"Is that right?" He stared intently at her.
"I don't know," she pushed him away and slumped onto the bed. "My mind is in turmoil, don't ask..."
"Nono," his fingers traced her face. "Be with me, always be with me... I'm begging you..."
She leaned closer, kissing the moisture from the corner of his eyes.
His lips covered hers.
That night, he relentlessly, wanting her more and more, wishing he could crush her, melt her into his very bones.
Passion erupted in the darkness. He said he wished he could die right then and there.
She lay in his arms, as if burned to ashes.
When she fell asleep, exhausted, and woke up again, he lay beside her, quietly watching her, his eyes bloodshot.
"It's dawn," he told her.
Chapter 50: The Ending of the Non-Ending
Xu Ruihuai had never imagined he would be in such a sorry state. The person in front of him moved his lips. He had a headache and was dizzy, barely able to hear what the person was saying.
"...Reporters have come to investigate this matter, and the impact is very bad...so the school leaders have decided..."
The scenery before his eyes blurred, and then what? What would happen next? He suddenly fell backward, his limbs numb, unconscious. He finally managed to escape this extremely embarrassing situation through a special means.
All around was white; the person on the hospital bed was unconscious.
Xu Ke flipped through the medical record in his hand: "Hypertensive cerebral hemorrhage," "Temporary internal medicine treatment," and so on. A few words, each reflecting his fluctuating emotions. He placed the medical record in the drawer of the bedside table, glanced at Jiang Yunuo, who had brought some clothes and toiletries from home and was silently putting them away in the storage cabinet.
He looked away and turned to the patient in the bed.
The nurse gave Xu Ruihuai an intravenous drip to stop the bleeding and prevent complications such as infection. His face was flushed, his breathing was heavy and rapid, and he looked quite haggard, unlike his usual dashing middle-aged appearance; he looked much older.
The doctor said that fortunately, the bleeding was small, and surgery was not necessary for the time being.
Xu Ke sat quietly in the armchair by the bed, a mix of emotions intertwined, her mind filled with a hollow anxiety.
After that, the two rarely communicated, as if they both wanted to avoid something. Even when they did speak, it was only a few words. At night, he stayed in the ward to take care of him, and during the day, she would come to relieve him so that he could go home and rest for a while.
Two weeks later, Xu Ruihuai's consciousness gradually returned. A few days later, he was able to eat some liquid food while leaning against the headboard, though his speech was still a little slurred and his hands trembled uncontrollably. He secretly observed his two children, trying his best to cooperate with the doctor's treatment, hoping to recover quickly.
Finally, one day arrived. Although he was still required to rest in bed, he was able to eat on his own and speak fluently. He called his daughter, who was washing clothes
, to his side, "Nuonuo, come here for a moment." Jiang Yunuo thought he wanted water, so she hurriedly washed the soap off her hands and went to the bedside. Xu Ruihuai pointed to the chair beside him, gesturing for her to sit down. His expression was kind. Jiang Yunuo felt a little uncomfortable. At this moment, Xu Ruihuai was acting like a loving father, which felt very unfamiliar. She roughly knew what she was going to hear, and her hands clenched together unnaturally, leaving her only to wait in silence.
“You two children…” Xu Ruihuai suddenly sighed, his tone not blaming, “It’s Dad’s fault, I didn’t take good care of you… Nuonuo, did your mother say something to you?”
Jiang Yunuo asked curiously, “Said something?” Xu
Ruihuai paused, then muttered to himself, “If she didn’t say anything, how could this be, how could you…”
Just then, Xu Ke came in from outside carrying dinner. Xu Ruihuai didn’t like the hospital food, so since he slowly recovered, Xu Ke would cook some at home and bring it to him.
“What exactly is it?” Jiang Yunuo felt something was wrong, “You… are you hiding something from me?”
Xu Ruihuai sighed, “No matter what Jiang Min said to you, don’t take it to heart. There’s something even she doesn’t know.” He paused, seemingly finding it difficult to say, hesitated for a moment, then made up his mind, “Never mind, you’ll find out someday… Jiang Min always thought you were an adopted child.”
Xu Ke was ladling soup, the bowl in her hand tilted slightly, spilling a little soup.
“…What do you mean? I don’t quite understand.” Jiang Yunuo didn’t understand for a moment.
Xu Ruihuai continued, "Before your brother was born, your mother... Jiang Min, she couldn't conceive. She went to many hospitals, and they all said the chances of her having a child were very small. Later... you were born, and I brought you home and told her that I adopted you. Actually, she didn't know that you were my biological child. She never knew..." Xu Ruihuai suddenly grabbed her hand, his emotions fluctuating. "Nuonuo, did your mother tell you? She didn't know. Keke, he's your biological brother. How could you do such an incestuous thing?"
Jiang Yunuo stood there, her mind a jumbled mess. It took her a long time to gradually sort out her thoughts. She softly asked, "You mean, I'm your bastard child?" Upon hearing this
, all three of them fell silent for a moment, each with their own thoughts.
Xu Ruihuai's previously calm face flushed again. After a long pause, he spoke rapidly, "Don't disbelieve me, I've had a paternity test."
Jiang Yunnuo's expression wasn't much better. "Where is the person who gave birth to me? Where is she?"
Xu Ruihuai sighed again. "She was young then. She left after giving birth to you. We... never contacted each other again."
He didn't tell his daughter that he had scraped together money to give her to get rid of her biological mother. And that young woman, the woman who said she would only love him for the rest of her life, never appeared again after receiving the money. In that era when the fervor had just subsided, premarital pregnancy brought women a living hell, so she left decisively and without hesitation. As Xu Ruihuai relaxed, he couldn't help but feel disappointed. He thought she loved him; her enthusiasm had bordered on obsession. But, in the end, tender love couldn't withstand the harsh reality.
Jiang Yunuo suddenly laughed, "Dad, should I thank you for adopting me? Oh, no, maybe you're regretting it now. You finally raised this abandoned baby, only to find she's committing incest with her own brother." As she said this, her suppressed emotions instantly turned sorrowful, and she almost burst into tears.
Xu Ruihuai ignored her sarcasm, only murmuring, "So, you can't be together, you must separate." He suddenly looked up at his daughter, his tone leaving no room for argument, "Nuonuo, you can go. You can have anything you want, as long as you leave your brother."
Want what? Jiang Yunuo sneered inwardly. An innocent childhood like everyone else, a happy family, an ordinary life, a lover with no blood relation, no need to live in fear and hide from others, is that all?
Xu Ke, who had been silent the whole time, felt extremely gloomy seeing Jiang Yunuo's distraught appearance. In a fit of rage, he knelt down in front of Xu Ruihuai's bedside, "Dad, I'm sorry, I want to go with her."
Jiang Yunuo opened his mouth in astonishment, speechless. He knelt there, his back ramrod straight, his expression unwavering, his gaze resolute.
"What are you doing? Get up." Xu Ruihuai snapped out of his daze, his voice trembling despite his efforts to suppress his anger. "I'm not dead yet, why are you kneeling? Get up now!"
Xu Ke stubbornly insisted, "Dad, don't stop me, I've made up my mind, no matter who she is..."
Xu Ruihuai was furious, grabbing a teacup from the bedside table and throwing it at him. "You brat, I've wasted my time raising you! You're a grown man, don't you know what shame is!" His face was flushed, veins bulging on his forehead. Though he was recovering from a serious illness and his grip was weak, the teacup still struck his son squarely on the head.
Jiang Yunuo cried out in alarm, but it was too late to stop him. He only saw blood seeping from Xu Ke's forehead. He didn't flinch, remaining kneeling there, his lips pressed tightly together.
Xu Ruihuai seemed to have exhausted all his strength, leaning against the pillow, panting heavily, and vomiting up all the water he had drunk earlier. Jiang Yunnuo's heart was in her throat. She shouted at Xu Ke, "Get up now! He can't take any more shocks, it could kill him!"
Xu Ke hurriedly stood up and pressed the call button by the bed, and the ward was thrown into chaos.
Only when Xu Ruihuai calmed down did Jiang Yunnuo breathe a sigh of relief. The feeling of utter exhaustion washed over her again, enveloping her like a cocoon. The more she struggled, the tighter it became, layer upon layer, suffocating her. She leaned weakly against the chair for a long time, then said to Xu Ke, "Come out with me."
The sun was low in the sky. The two came to the woods next to the inpatient department, their skin glistening with dampness. Under the streetlights, only fine raindrops could be seen.
They stood facing each other.
Jiang Yunnuo looked at the bruise on Xu Ke's forehead. "Don't be so foolish again." She raised her hand and used a tissue to wipe the blood from his face. "I don't want to see you like this. It's ugly, terribly ugly..." She repeated the word "ugly" several times, each time increasing the pressure on her hand until the dried blood on his face disappeared.
Xu Ke looked down at her, wanting to take her hand, but she quickly pulled away.
She took a few steps back, standing a little distance away from him. "You need to take good care of yourself, and take care of him."
He stood there for a long time before asking, "Are you... leaving?"
After a while, he heard her say, "That's it."
She turned and left.
"Jiang Yunnuo," he called after her, "What am I to you?"
"I don't know either," she said. "Forget about it, just think of us as young and ignorant, making mistakes."
"Just a mistake?" He scoffed, walked over, and pressed her shoulder. "What do you take me for? What do you take me for? You fucking tell me the truth," he almost shouted at the end.
"Why are you cursing my mother? I don't even know where she is." He was utterly stubborn, and she suddenly became furious. "What do I take you for? My brother, what else could you be? What could possibly happen between us?"
"You love me," he said, enunciating each word clearly.
"No," she immediately interrupted him. What kind of world was this? Things kept happening one after another; why was her life so irrational? "Xu Ke, don't you understand? Life isn't just about love. Didn't Xu Ruihuai and Jiang Min love each other? What happened then? He lied to her his whole life, and she suffered her whole life. What does love even matter? Life is too long, passion is too short, and nobody knows what will happen in the future. Xu Ke, don't push me anymore, I can't take it."
"It's not like that," he hugged her tightly. "I'm not the kind of person you think I am."
He tried to kiss her, but she desperately dodged away. She said angrily, "No matter what kind of person you are, it has nothing to do with me. I don't love you, I've never loved you. I pity you, I feel sorry for you, but I don't love you."
He finally let go.
Raindrops fell, dense and rapid, stirring up fine dust from the earth. Her hair was wet, sticking to her face. She dared not move, dared not look him in the eye.
He remained silent.
She said, "Forget the past. There's absolutely no future for us."
"Go," he waved, "I'm tired."
She didn't look at him once, and as soon as she turned away, tears began to stream down her face. She could only keep walking forward, oblivious to everything.
Her figure gradually disappeared into the rain and mist. He slowly sat down on the bench, his hands supporting his forehead. With the sound of the misty rain, he finally broke down in uncontrollable sobs.
Chapter 51 Connecting the Past and the Future
(Airport.)
Guan Ying: You can be so heartless.
Jiang Yunnuo: A short pain is better than a long one. He'll get better. Just forget about it.
Guan Ying: Should I say you're smart or stupid? In a relationship, women are easily satisfied with the status quo, while men yearn to lose themselves in poignant regrets. If you leave like this, he'll probably never forget you. If you want a man to never forget you, the best way is like you did—turn away while he still loves you. Xiao Jiang, that's a really ruthless move.
Jiang Yunuo: That's not what I think… If I choose to be with him, it's for life. If one day he doesn't love me anymore, I'm afraid… I might even lose my life. So, it's better to have no outcome. I'm not confident in love. I've seen Jiang Min… how my mother suffered, numbing herself with one relationship after another. She hated my father, and even hated her own son because of it—how ridiculous. Guan Ying
: People are always struggling with contradictions. You've accidentally used your trump card. You don't believe in love, and you don't even believe in the person you love anymore.
Jiang Yunuo: It's not that I don't believe in him, it's that I don't believe in time, and I don't believe in my own ability to bear it. If time could turn back, I wouldn't come back. If I did come back, I wouldn't fall in love with him. If I did fall in love with him, I wouldn't let him know.
Guan Ying: There are no ifs. This is your tribulation, and also your destiny.
Jiang Yunnuo: Destiny, destiny... Cherish being together. You and Lei Yuan should live well. Come visit me when you have time.
Guan Ying: Not coming back?
Jiang Yunnuo: Would I dare to come back?
(Lei Yuan and Lu Chengyu push their luggage and walk up from behind.)
Jiang Yunnuo: I'm going to check in my luggage. I'll go straight through customs in a bit. Take care, guys. (She reaches into her small bag for her passport and ticket, but unexpectedly touches a furry thing. She takes it out and sees it's a singing Doraemon. She then remembers that she casually stuffed it in when packing her luggage.)
Jiang Yunnuo: (Holding the Doraemon at Lu Chengyu) Hey, I haven't thanked you for this yet!
Lu Chengyu: (Frowning in confusion) Thank me? Why?
Lei Yuan: (Grabs the Doraemon and looks at it) Oh, this was given to us by our handsome Lu?
Lu Chengyu: I didn't give it
to her. Guan Ying: Didn't you ask me to give it to Xiao Jiang on her birthday?
Lu Chengyu: (Clearly doesn't remember) I didn't give it to her.
Lei Yuan: (Pulls the ring on the Doraemon's head and listens to it) This song...
Guan Ying: You know it?
Lei Yuan: Isn't it the song you two sang at the karaoke competition last time? Ugh, so embarrassing, the CD was broken and you were still singing it, someone immediately turned bright red, hey, did you want to find a hole to crawl into at that time...?
Guan Ying: (Pounds him angrily) You went to see it too?
Lei Yuan: Xu Ke went too, the three of us were laughing so hard...
Lu Chengyu: (Suddenly remembers) Isn't this thing in a colorful box? Xu Ke asked me to give it to Jiang Yunnuo.
Lei Yuan: (Shoves Doraemon into Jiang Yunuo's hands) Oh, that's right.
Jiang Yunuo: (Clutching Doraemon tightly) It's too late... I have to go. (She couldn't help but peek towards the door. What if she saw it?)
Lei Yuan: (Opens his arms) Come here, let me hug you, to hug you on behalf of someone else.
Jiang Yunuo: (Turns and hugs Guan Ying) Thank you, I accept your hug on behalf of someone else, on behalf of your husband.
(After chatting for a few minutes, Jiang Yunuo pushes her luggage inside.)
Guan Ying: Xu Ke really isn't coming?
Lei Yuan: Can't contact him, his phone is off.
Lu Chengyu: A silent ending...
Lei Yuan: What, you want to sing a song here?
Guan Ying: Tell me honestly, why did you go to the karaoke competition? Was it just to see the pretty girls? Pervert!
Lei Yuan: So many people went, are they all perverts?
Guan Ying: You are.
Lei Yuan: You know what, I actually discovered a beauty!
Guan Ying: (Stares at him) Who?
Lei Yuan: My wife! Sigh, I didn't have a good impression of her before. I thought she was cold and arrogant, thinking she was superior just because she was beautiful. But after watching the game, I realized even beautiful women can be silly sometimes, and in a cute way at that. She even sings well… Come on, wife, give me a kiss.
Guan Ying: (Avoiding Lei Yuan and taking Lu Chengyu's arm) Ignore him, let's go.
Lei Yuan: Hey, adulterous couple!
Lu Chengyu: If you keep talking nonsense, I'll really make my move.
Lei Yuan: …
*** *** ***
A light rain fell.
When Xu Ke walked in, the basketball court was empty. He grabbed a ball from the sidelines and casually tossed it towards the hoop. The ball bounced and swayed against the rim, struggling in vain, and then actually went in. He'd never had such a lucky break before; the door closed, but the window opened. Perhaps heartbroken in love, but triumphant on the court, he should play a game to relieve his frustration. He sat down on the floor, watching the basketball bounce powerfully, then slow down, spinning and gliding until it fell silent, like the emptiness left behind when love dies.
It was all over.
He sat for a while, then got up and walked to the door, where he saw the figure of a slender girl gradually appearing in the misty rain. In that instant, a thought that stirred his heart flashed through his mind, like a brilliant spark in the night sky; he almost wanted to thank God for this miracle.
But how fleeting is the life of a spark.
Yan Xiluo walked over, "I think this is the only place I can see you."
Seeing him again, he still had short, black hair, a white t-shirt, and a detached smile... However, his eyes lacked their former sparkle. The once spirited and carefree boy smiled absentmindedly, his face haggard, unable to hide the disappointment and sorrow emanating from the depths of his soul.
Yan Xiluo felt a sudden sense of dejection.
The best way to tire of someone you once adored is to discover their flaws, witness their vulnerability, and watch them fall from the clouds of your heart, stained with the mud of the mundane world.
For a long time, to her, he was like a game of chess with no pieces left to play, untouchable and inexplicable. She relentlessly tried to elevate herself to his level in her heart; she could no longer bear this feeling of being like dust.
Now, she finally saw the other side she had tried to glimpse, and she got her wish; she was utterly devastated.
It was as if a belief had collapsed, with a heartbreaking sound.
Yan Xiluo suddenly realized that if she could, she absolutely did not want to see Xu Ke like this. "If she really cared about you, she wouldn't have left." She wanted to use sharp words to sting him, to provoke him, rather than the current lifelessness and pent-up frustration.
He remained silent, only looking up at the sky outside the door, no longer the azure it once was.
She said, "Xu Ke, how could you be so childish? It's not worth it."
He remained silent.
"Xu Ke…" She wanted to say something more.
"I'm leaving." He finally spoke, but it was a farewell to her. He waved and said, "Goodbye." He
walked listlessly into the rain, and in the blink of an eye, his figure became blurred.
Yan Xiluo was stunned, her eyes welling up with tears. After a while, she took out her phone and dialed, "Lin Xuan, come out, I... I want to see you..."
As she said this, she suddenly felt flustered. Youth is always flustered, always filled with doubt about one's choices.
Fortunately, this period will soon pass.
The campus became exceptionally quiet in the rain.
Xu Ke walked out of the school gate with his backpack. He looked back, raindrops blurring his vision.
The flowerbed by the gate showed a wet, pale outline. One night long ago, a girl sat there foolishly, waiting for him...
Memories were relentlessly washed away by the rain, leaving a void in his mind, as if an era had ended.
That year, he dropped out of university.
Summer in his memory was always a season of farewell.
Chapter 52 The Hollow Scarecrow
People are never as strong as they imagine, or rather, they habitually use the numbness of pain to mask their vulnerability. It wasn't
until she got off the plane, heard a different language, saw different buildings, and was surrounded by high noses and sunken eyes, that Jiang Yunnuo realized how far away she had become from him.
Dragging her luggage out to wait for a taxi, the gray-bearded old driver helped her put her luggage in the trunk, then smiled kindly at her. "You don't seem very happy," he said. "It's homesickness, do you know what that word means?"
"Yes," she smiled, but her eyes welled up with tears.
"You've already started missing your parents as soon as you got off the plane?"
"Yes," she replied.
The old driver was very talkative, trying to change the subject and soothe her negative emotions, but it wasn't very effective. This Asian girl didn't seem very approachable. When she wasn't speaking, she silently looked out the window, her eyes filled with clear, watery light. Jiang
Yunnuo lived in a student apartment near the university. She arrived at 11 p.m. Her roommates next door were having a party. A heavy black subwoofer sat in the hallway, and young men and women were smoking or drinking beer, laughing and talking loudly in the small living room. On the table were toast, ham, and a few leftover slices of pizza. A notice about the party was posted on the kitchen door.
She hadn't been back for a year; her former roommates had long since moved away, and she didn't recognize any of the new people. After a brief greeting, she went into her room. A stuffy, damp smell hit her. She closed the door and sat blankly in the darkness. Everything felt so unfamiliar. The people were gradually fading away; he wasn't beside her. She thought, "I should cry," but she couldn't cry at all.
It felt like she'd just woken from a long dream, exhausted.
She didn't know how much time had passed before the music outside stopped, and she snapped out of it. She went to open the window and breathed in the fresh air. Three or four student apartment buildings sat on the edge of a small forest, where the nights were quiet and peaceful.
After washing up, she lay down on her bed. Half-asleep, she saw him. Behind him was brilliant sunshine, blue sky, and white clouds. He smiled at her, as tender as ever… Suddenly, deafening heavy metal music blared. For a moment, even the roots of her hair stood on end, as if something was slipping through her fingers, and she could only watch it drift away. Cold sweat poured down her back. What was it? What was it? She tried desperately to recall the dream, but only fragmented colors remained. The noise outside continued. Annoyed, she put on her coat and went outside.
She tore down the party notice, and the people in the living room stopped to look at her. Pointing to the time on it, she said, “It should be over now. Please be quiet.” Her French was fluent, and her accent was quite good. The group smiled at her, and a few boys whistled at her. “Hey, Chinese? Japanese? Want to join us?” they shouted, seemingly without malice.
Jiang Yunnuo, however, was indifferent, her face pale. “Fine, you guys continue. I’m calling the police.”
The young men were somewhat embarrassed, and someone turned off the music. She returned to her room and collapsed onto the bed, wondering, "What's wrong with me?"
This caught her neighbor's attention.
The girl was a beautiful French woman with shimmering blonde curls and healthy, tanned skin. She liked tattoos, wore two small rings on her belly button, and wore super low-rise jeans that revealed the thin straps of her black t-back. In the following days, the two would meet in the kitchen, usually the Frenchwoman toasting bread while the Chinese woman fried eggs. The neighbor would give her a cold, sidelong glance, and neither spoke.
Jiang Yunuo looked listless, her eyes puffy. Once, while absentmindedly frying eggs, she seemed to drift off for several seconds.
"Hey, what are you doing?" the neighbor exclaimed, fanning herself dramatically with her hand. "It's almost on fire!" she said, then ran to open the window wide.
Jiang Yunuo looked down and saw the egg had turned into a black, mushy mess. "Oh, sorry," she said. But seeing the blonde beauty's puffed-out cheeks and disdainful expression, she couldn't help but find it amusing.
“That day, I had just returned from China,” she said slowly. “I wasn’t in a good mood. At the time, I just wanted to quietly…remember someone.”
The girl slowly spread blueberry jam on her toast.
Jiang Yunuo threw the burnt eggs into the trash can. She had no appetite to begin with, and now she had no reason to eat. She took a bottle of yogurt back to her room.
“Boyfriend?” the girl’s voice came from behind her.
“Sort of,” she replied after thinking for a while.
That’s how Jiang Yunuo and Beibei met.
Beibei collected a lot of cosmetic coupons. She was extremely sensitive to discount information in clothing stores. She would occasionally bring her boyfriend home, a typical handsome Frenchman. The dormitory walls weren’t soundproof, so things that shouldn’t be heard could be heard, and it happened so often that it became a habit. When she wasn’t exercising, Beibei liked to take Jiang Yunuo shopping, while Jiang Yunuo preferred to stay in her room alone, waiting for the new semester to begin, spending most of her time staring blankly at the dark green forest outside the window. She rarely even contacted her friends, no matter where they were. She only occasionally connected to QQ and would encounter Guan Ying.
Guan Ying told her that Xu Ke had been expelled from school.
She saw his name appear on the screen as tiny dots of light, and tears soaked the keyboard. She abandoned him once again and ran away alone. She no longer wanted to know anything about him; just seeing his name sent waves of increasingly intense pain crashing over her.
"I owe him," she slowly typed.
She owed him something she could never repay in this lifetime. If there were a next life, he wouldn't remember her.
Between them, there would always be an insurmountable distance.
In the end, she could only make amends with tears.
Someone knocked on the door. She wiped away her tears and said loudly, "I'm sorry, Bei Bei, it's inconvenient for me to open the door right now." Although she tried to control herself, her voice was still choked, and her tone became strange.
Bei Bei only said "It's okay" and then stopped bothering her.
She cried and cried until it got dark.
She endured these aimless days until the start of the school year. She didn't even want to go to class. Several mornings, it was Beibei banging on the door to rouse her from bed. Looking at herself in the mirror, she was pale and sickly. From eating eggs until the mere sight of them made her nauseous, she started subsisting on low-calorie toast. At lunchtime, she would go to the school cafeteria, but the sight of meat patties and sausages only made her feel greasy, so she would just order a small salad. She would skimp on dinner whenever possible.
Beibei said, "Nuo, you're practically floating on air."
Jiang Yunuo dismissed it, "I have no appetite, I don't feel hungry."
Beibei gave her a flirtatious wink, "You're pregnant, aren't you?"
Jiang Yunuo was initially startled, but then she thought it impossible. Apart from her poor appetite, everything else seemed perfectly normal.
But a strange thought kept creeping in. A child. If she really was pregnant, he would have a child, even though he himself was still a child… Jiang Yunuo suddenly felt like she was going crazy. How could they have offspring? It would be a curse from heaven; everything would befall the child.
She told herself over and over again, "Jiang Yunnuo, stop overthinking. You can't go on like this, you'll drive yourself crazy."
That night, Jiang Yunnuo unusually cooked a whole table of dishes. Beibei ate while complaining, "Nuo, you know I'm on a diet."
A few days later, she finally managed to refrain from crying for a day, not even crying in her sleep.
Beibei said, "Nuo, I thought you were born with puffy eyes."
Jiang Yunnuo attended classes half-heartedly, and panicked again when exams approached. Because she wanted to make up for the credits from the previous semester, she signed up for too many exams at once, and now she had to stay up all night. Her already pale face now had two more dark circles under her eyes. When she was busy, she forgot many things.
But not long after, Beibei was heartbroken. She stormed back, her hair disheveled, and told Jiang Yunnuo, "I hit that bitch today."
Jiang Yunnuo asked, "Male or female?"
Beibei said, "That woman, that slut." She tossed an earring onto the table. "Ha, look, I tore her ear. That woman even tried to call the police, but he stopped her. He must feel bad for me. Humph, a pair of bitches." Jiang
Yunnuo looked closely and noticed bloodstains at the tip of the earring. Beibei
suddenly burst into tears. "But he kissed her in front of me." She slumped onto the table, her shoulders shaking. "I fucking wish I was the one who got hit."
Jiang Yunnuo felt a pang of sadness but couldn't offer any comfort. "To avoid being rejected, you have to reject others first," she sighed.
Beibei started smoking cigars. A pile of beautiful cigar boxes sat on the table. She said, "They're free, stolen from our family shop… My parents won't scold me, it's better than marijuana…"
The two stayed up late studying in the living room. Jiang Yunuo, feeling unhappy, also started smoking cigars. These things are very irritating to the mouth; after one or two, her tongue felt bigger, and her speech became slurred. She felt like she was going to vomit if she smoked any more. The two puffed away for a long time, but the boxes on the table didn't seem to decrease.
When the last exam ended, it happened to be Chinese New Year's Eve. Jiang Min called and asked her to come home for the New Year. She didn't want to go back, saying she still had exams, but actually she just wanted to stay in her dorm alone. Beibei, however, got excited and insisted on spending Chinese New Year with her and eating dumplings. Jiang Yunuo thought it wouldn't be too much trouble for two girls, so she went to the supermarket and bought some flour and meat filling. When she returned, good heavens, the living room was crammed with seven or eight big boys.
Bei Bei winked at her, "I'm awesome, aren't I? We've got some good choices tonight. I'm going to find a better man. I don't believe there are only men who like being rejected."
Some of the men were people she'd seen at Bei Bei's party before. As soon as they saw her, they mimicked her tone, saying, "Hey, I'm calling the police." Everyone laughed. They were easygoing, and Jiang Yunuo wasn't reserved either, so they quickly became familiar. There was also an Asian man among them, but he wasn't very talkative and didn't speak much to Jiang Yunuo.
With so many people to eat, someone had to prepare the food. Bei Bei couldn't help much; chatting with these people was already keeping her busy enough. Jiang Yunuo ordered some takeout, prepared the dumpling filling, and started kneading the dough.
"It's hard work, I'll do it," someone said in Chinese. It was the Asian man.
Jiang Yunuo said, "Go have fun, I'll be done in a bit."
The man had already washed his hands and started kneading the dough. "You speak French very well, when did you come here?" he chatted with her while kneading the dough.
“I’ve been here for seven or eight years now,”
the man said, somewhat puzzled. “How old are you? Did you go to high school here?”
Jiang Yunnuo nodded. “Yes, I came here when I was fourteen.”
“No wonder,” the man said. “I’ve been here for two years. I graduated from university in China and came here to pursue my master’s degree.”
Jiang Yunnuo glanced at him, but he didn’t look like he was only twenty-three or twenty-four. He smiled, as if he knew what she was thinking. “I also worked in China for two years.”
Soon the dough was ready, and everyone started making dumplings together. They made all sorts of oddly shaped dumplings, each trying to outdo the other in creativity. They threw flour at each other, laughing and joking around, leaving everyone with some white on their clothes and heads. Only the Chinese man stood quietly to the side, cooking dumplings for them.
Jiang Yunnuo was absent-minded. After eating a few dumplings, she lit a cigar and leaned against the corner of the sofa, listening to music—more heavy metal rock. But this time, she didn’t find it noisy at all. Her heart felt empty. When did she become a walking, talking scarecrow? The powerful drumbeats pounded against her eardrums, and she wished these sounds could fill the remaining emptiness in her heart.
It had been so long since she'd left him.
Chapter 53 Forget You Loved Me
The next morning, when Jiang Yunuo came out of the room, Beibei was lying on the sofa, munching on bread, her long legs casually propped up on the coffee table.
"Good morning, is there someone else?"
"He left." Beibei replied absentmindedly, breaking off a small piece of bread and stuffing it into her mouth.
After the breakup last night, Beibei brought a boy into the room. Before going in, she pointed to the only remaining box of cigars on the table and quietly said to Jiang Yunuo, "Choose, a man or cigars? Today is your country's New Year, you choose first."
Jiang Yunuo flicked the box of cigars with her finger. Her expression was listless, like someone with anorexia, showing no interest in staple foods.
Beibei wasn't like her; Beibei was full of expectations for love.
But now, the hot girl on the sofa suddenly sighed, "This is so fucking boring..."
From then on, Beibei brought men home every few days, different faces, different heights, even different nationalities, but the results were always similar. She seemed to be stuck in a dilemma, eager to find a breakthrough but unable to.
Jiang Yunuo said, "At least you have feelings for them, right?"
Beibei shook her head, "It's different. Doing it with someone you don't love feels really different. Sex becomes a piston-like motion. If I encounter a bad one, I can fall asleep. Sometimes when I'm bored, I lie there quietly counting one, two, three... thinking, 'When will it be over?' I only moan occasionally when I remember."
At this point, the two of them burst into laughter.
That winter break felt incredibly long. The sky was overcast, sunshine was rare, the north wind howled, and winter rain drizzled. The city's shopping malls closed early, and the streets were deserted and quiet.
She never dreamed of him again.
Flipping through old photos, she realized that they hadn't taken any pictures together that year in China. Looking at the young figure and innocent face in the photos, a vague sense of uncertainty rose in her heart regarding what had happened before. In that surreal feeling, a heavy longing, accompanied by guilt, melted into the most hidden corner of her heart, gradually becoming a wound, an unhealable wound.
Beibei studied economics, a different major from Jiang Yunuo. After the start of the semester, they would sometimes meet in elective classes or at the school cafeteria. Until graduation, Jiang Yunuo didn't have a close relationship with any man. Beibei assumed she was a bookworm, but Jiang Yunuo's grades were often mediocre, sometimes barely passing. Where did she spend all her time? Beibei couldn't understand it.
During this time, Jiang Yunuo and Guan Ying maintained intermittent contact. Towards the end of their senior year, Guan Ying received her visa and a scholarship to an American university, while Lei Yuan's visa interview was rejected three times, and he gave up. Guan Ying went to the US alone. Jiang Yunuo could imagine Lei Yuan's furious reaction, so she retorted with the words Guan Ying had once said to her, "Beautiful lady, how could you be so heartless?"
Guan Ying replied, "I had no choice; I didn't want to give up this opportunity."
Jiang Yunuo asked, "If it were Lei Yuan who left, what would you do?"
"I would definitely resent him," she answered without hesitation, "and want to break up with him. But, you see, people are always good at using two standards to treat themselves and others."
"You've already broken up?"
"No, neither of us has said it outright, we're just dragging it out. Who knows what will happen in the future?" Guan Ying typed a few more words and sent them, "Actually, I don't know if my choice was right or wrong, it's very painful..." There was silence
for a moment.
Jiang Yunuo moved her fingers, and two words appeared on the screen. She looked at them for a long time, deleted them, and still didn't send them.
A message came in: "Xu Ke, looks pretty good," Guan Ying said.
Jiang Yunuo sighed, offered a few words of comfort, and logged off.
Even after letting go, life was still oppressive. She envied Bei Bei, who remained energetic even after a breakup.
Bei Bei was someone who easily became obsessed with something. Having failed in her relationship, she poured her excess energy into her studies. Most economics students face unemployment after graduation, so she decided to complete her master's degree before looking for a job.
Meanwhile, Jiang Yunuo also chose to continue her studies, citing her strong interest in her major. However, she often spent only 50% of her effort on exams, papers, and projects, receiving mediocre grades. Bei Bei couldn't understand where her interest lay. After being roommates for several years, Bei Bei finally understood that Jiang Yunuo's attitude towards academics was just like her attitude towards men.
She feared disappointment more than hope, therefore she would never fully commit; she always kept a backup plan.
Beibei recalled a passage from a book: "Some people can be described as emotionally detached, those who never feel the stirrings and anxieties within their hearts. They stroll through a butterfly garden, yet never discover the happiness and pain within. Such people generally maintain good relationships with friends, but are somewhat timid and keep their distance. They shrink back from the warmth and excitement they perceive or observe in others. This type of person exists across all age groups, avoiding crises as much as possible. Generally speaking, such relationships can be maintained quite well, but they cannot experience the ups and downs of relationships centered on feelings."
Beibei commented, "Nuo, you're like that. You seem indifferent to everything, but actually, you're afraid of being hurt. Your self-protective instincts are too strong. The person who falls in love with you will definitely suffer." Jiang Yunuo disagreed,
"You wouldn't understand," she said. Beibei
waited for her to continue, but there was no further comment.
How could someone who hasn't experienced it understand? Between people, there is a kind of love, as fiery as molten lava, yet feared and loathed by many. Without a strong heart, how can you not hesitate and not want to retreat? Once this love is overturned, it will bring utter disaster, and the will to live will be destroyed. Absolute commitment certainly demands a 100% return, but in this world, how can there be love that lasts as long as human life?
Therefore, those who seem timid are actually the most greedy.
After more than ten years of schooling, Bei Bei, thanks to her excellent grades and a professor's recommendation, secured a good job at BNP Paribas. Jiang Yunuo, on the other hand, considered herself incredibly lucky. After struggling through multiple interviews, she was finally chosen by the French company BO, thanks to the SAP project she worked on during her internship. At that time, BO was negotiating a collaborative project with the German company SAP, and they needed people to do Asian coding.
After a period of anxiety, their jobs were finally settled. Their master's theses were submitted to the department on time, and there was still some time before graduation, while the official start date on their contracts was a month later. With nothing to do, the two stayed in their dormitory, looking at the snow outside the window. Bei Bei suggested, "Nuo, let's go to Courchevel."
In the French Alps, there is one of the world's largest ski areas, and Courchevel is one of them. Located in a village, it boasts extremely convenient accommodation and transportation. However, Jiang Yunuo hesitated to part with the money in her pocket. Thinking about getting a stable job next month, she couldn't resist Bei Bei's temptation and agreed to go skiing with her.
Jiang Yunuo was a beginner, and Bei Bei, unable to stand being alone, followed a few handsome guys, disappearing as soon as she put on her ski poles. She was left following the instructor step by step, repeatedly practicing falling and being pulled up. The instructor was unusually good-natured, probably honed through experience; several hours passed, and she made no progress.
Falling again onto the snow, she felt her gear—skis, boots, even sunglasses—feel incredibly heavy. The instructor smiled politely at her, not in a hurry to help her up; she could almost see white smoke hissing from his ski hat. She had no choice but to untie her skis herself. "I want to rest for a bit." The instructor, as if granted a pardon, ran faster than a rabbit.
She sat lazily on the ground, looking at the distant snow-white mountain ridges, sparkling in the sunlight.
A moment later, the beautiful view was blocked by the person in front of her. The man was very tall, standing right in front of her, looking down intently at her. The glaring sunlight was blocked, and she squinted uncomfortably.
The man smiled, revealing beautiful teeth. "I've been watching you for a long time, and you look familiar," he said in Mandarin with a northern accent.
Jiang Yunuo blinked; this upward angle made her very uncomfortable, and she wanted to stand up.
"What, still don't remember?" The man reached out and pulled her up, taking off his sunglasses. "It seems like it was a few years ago during the Spring Festival, we made dumplings together in your student dormitory..."
"Oh, hello," Jiang Yunuo suddenly remembered, but then stopped; she had forgotten his name.
"Jiang Yunuo, right? I remember your name," his smile was gentle. "Hello, my name is Chen Zichen."
Two years ago, Chen Zichen graduated with a master's degree in economics. His language skills weren't great, and finding a job was difficult. So, he and a few friends jointly registered a trading company, which barely solved their employment and residency issues. During a casual chat, he asked about Beibei's situation. Hearing that she had found a position at BNP Paribas, he couldn't help but sigh, though he didn't express excessive envy. After two years of hard work, the company was finally on track, and he and his partners decided to take a few days' vacation as a small reward for themselves.
Chen Zichen is an extremely meticulous person. From rolling out dough and making dumplings to now teaching her to ski, he is meticulous in everything he does. Fortunately, his teaching methods are quite effective, and Jiang Yunnuo is making some progress. The two finally said goodbye to the small slope for beginners and took the cable car to the adjacent ski trail. From below, the slope looked long and congested; at the top, all that could be seen was a vast expanse of white snow, dotted with tiny skid tracks.
It felt like there was no way back.
"Don't be nervous," Chen Zichen comforted her, "You...hey..." Before he could finish speaking, Jiang Yunnuo had already glided off, gradually becoming a tiny dot.
The icy air rushed into her chest; the future was uncertain, she had no idea where the end was, as if experiencing a thrill of impending death, an intangible fear. Her speed was incredible; the moment she encountered an obstacle, the turning and slowing techniques she had just learned were completely forgotten. She fell and tumbled at high speed, sending snowflakes flying everywhere, landing in her eyes and mouth, tasting slightly sweet. She glided for several meters on the ground, only stopping when she reached a flat area. She lay there, her face pressed against the snow, unwilling to get up for a long time.
Her heart pounded; even in her most fearful moments, she still thought of him.
Year after year, living amidst the hustle and bustle of the world, when she thought of him, she was still alone.
Four years was too short, too short to forget, that fleeting, insignificant moment of their time together. Was
it because they shared the same blood?
Someone helped her take off her skis and pulled her up.
"Are you alright?" Chen Zichen gently patted the snow off her head.
"I'm not dead, and I'm not hurt," she chuckled, carrying her skis down the mountain. "I'll take the cable car up later and ski again, that'll be thrilling."
Chen Zichen shook his head, following behind her. "She looks like a pretty little girl, how come she's so clumsy?"
After their encounter at the ski resort, Jiang Yunuo and Chen Zichen gradually became acquainted, exchanging contact information before parting.
Jiang Yunuo started working, dealing more with computers than people, earning a good salary, but it was somewhat boring. Occasionally, on the bustling streets, she would see a handsome young man with a sunny disposition, a tall, slender figure, and short black hair, and another striking face would flash through her mind, but this hope never materialized.
Sometimes, Chen Zichen would come to her, asking her to help translate a few documents. She was embarrassed to accept payment, so he would treat her to meals. At first, it was a group of people going out together, but gradually it became just the two of them.
Under this pretext, they spent two Christmases and three Spring Festivals together. Jiang Yunnuo understood the meaning behind it all, but couldn't think of a reason to refuse. Besides, he didn't seem unpleasant. Most people live like this: study, work, have a perfectly acceptable relationship, get married, have children, and live a peaceful and stable life. This was also what she had once hoped for.
Moreover, she was almost 27 years old.
Time flies.
Chapter 54 The Fourth Ring
After dinner, Chen Zichen drove her home.
In the car, he helped her unbuckle her seatbelt and took the opportunity to kiss her.
Although she was already mentally prepared, for some reason, she lowered her head slightly and still refused.
Chen Zichen didn't force it.
She took out her keys and was about to open the door when she heard him standing behind her say, "Jiang Yunnuo, we've known each other for almost seven years, and I've pursued you for three. Since you've always wanted to reject me, why have you given me so many chances?"
Jiang Yunnuo turned to look at him; his expression was calm and sincere.
Chen Zichen sighed softly, "I'm not young anymore, you should know I'm serious."
She wondered, should I say sorry?
"I hope I can call you by your name." He paused, then said softly, "Nuonuo..."
She gripped the keys in her hand. The late autumn night was windy, the wind ruffling her hair and lifting the hem of her trench coat. She said, "It's raining, come in." Years had passed, yet she couldn't shake this impulsive nature.
That night, they were together.
Chen Zichen woke up early the next morning to find Jiang Yunuo leaning against the headboard, a cigar in her hand, her chin slightly raised, wisps of smoke rising from her thin lips, her slightly curled black hair draped over her bare, slender shoulders, the blankets slipping slightly, revealing a glimpse of spring.
“Why would a girl smoke this…” He reached out and hugged her. “Nono, you know what? The more I look at you, the more attractive you become.”
She smiled and gently pushed him away. “It’s time to go to work,” she said, wrapping herself in a towel and going into the bathroom.
Chen Zichen lay on the bed, casually flipping through a pile of magazines on the bedside table. A passport fell out of the magazines; this one was different from his. He picked it up and looked at it. Just then, Jiang Yunnuo came out of the bathroom.
“You leave such an important thing lying around,” he handed her the passport and asked, “Have you become a citizen?”
Jiang Yunnuo nodded and casually stuffed the small booklet into the bedside table drawer.
“It’s quite rare. People like us can only get long-term residency at most. Did your company help you apply?” Chen Zichen was very curious about this. He had just received a visa that needed to be renewed every three years, and if the company’s turnover did not meet the requirements, he could be rejected at any time.
Jiang Yunuo laughed, "How could that be? I've only been working for a short time. I helped my mom with the process. My mom's father... my maternal grandfather, he came to France a long time ago, and he helped with everything. As for the specifics, I don't know."
Chen Zichen said, "I didn't expect your family to be old immigrants."
Jiang Yunuo said, "My grandfather came before the Cultural Revolution and passed away a few years ago."
Chen Zichen didn't ask any more questions.
Their relationship was established, and Chen Zichen often brought Jiang Yunuo to dinner parties. During the dinner, someone who had never met Jiang Yunuo joked with him, "Hey, Zichen, you were just saying a while ago that there were too many wolves and not enough meat, and you were urging us to introduce you to a girlfriend. Now you've found a beauty. Well done, kid."
Chen Zichen's expression became a little unnatural at that moment, and afterwards he said to Jiang Yunuo, "Don't listen to their nonsense. They don't even talk seriously."
Jiang Yunuo smiled nonchalantly, "That's right, it's a two-way selection. You can't hang yourself on one tree."
Chen Zichen knew that saying more would be useless, so he could only suppress his uneasy feelings. They were both around thirty years old; how could they not understand the meaning of "reality"? He was a clear-headed person, and his greatest wish was to live a decent life on this land belonging to others. He didn't aspire to great wealth or honor, but at least to be neither rich nor poor. A detached cottage with a garden, a like-minded wife, two or three children, and the ability for the family to travel and shop in their free time without too much worry about money—this was his current goal.
Undeniably, it was the ordinary family life, the affection and warmth between ordinary people, that Jiang Yunnuo longed for.
On Christmas Eve that year, Chen Zichen proposed to her. He bought a ring, but no roses, and no romantic gestures as others might have imagined. He was a practical person, incapable of such fancy actions. Even his words were as plain as ever, "Nuonuo, I'm almost thirty-two," he said.
Jiang Yunuo was a little dizzy at the time. It wasn't that she hadn't thought about this day, but she hadn't expected it to be for this reason. She told herself, "You're thirty-two, what does that have to do with me?"
Her hesitation, in his eyes, turned into reserve and shyness, just like that night a year ago when she finally invited him into her room.
He was so determined, because he firmly believed that they were the same kind of people.
Jiang Yunuo didn't refuse. After considering it for several days, she said to him, "You should go and meet my only family here."
They visited Jiang Min, and Chen Zichen insisted on buying some gifts, but he hadn't expected his future mother-in-law to live such a lavish lifestyle. The fruit basket and wine he brought were left in a corner of the room. From Jiang Min's clothes to the brands of her room's furniture, everything seemed extremely luxurious to him, yet she wasn't exactly a member of the French upper class.
Jiang Yunnuo sensed something from his expression and words, and said, "She's squandering the inheritance left by her father; there's nothing wrong with that. Besides, she's not happy."
Jiang Min was still happy to see them. In recent years, the mother and daughter had only occasionally met during holidays. Jiang Min looked much older; despite her exquisite makeup, she couldn't hide the vicissitudes and loneliness in her eyes. Jiang Yunnuo felt a pang of sadness. It wasn't that she didn't want to visit her often, but she didn't know how to face her, her nominal mother. Compared to her own son, she had been quite good to Jiang Yunnuo.
They chatted together, ate at the same table, and she looked at her—this woman who had been deceived her whole life, now a middle-aged woman, no longer possessing her former stubborn and cold expression. Jiang Yunnuo's heart was numb and confused. Facing her, Jiang Yunuo felt like a thief, or perhaps an accomplice of Xu Ruihuai. She had deceived her feelings, betrayed her son, and stolen the maternal love that should have been his.
That night, they stayed there.
Jiang Min led her to her room, took out a small wooden box from the safe, and found two rings inside, simple and old-fashioned, wrapped with red silk thread.
"In the blink of an eye, you're getting married too," she sighed, placing one of the rings in Jiang Yunuo's hand. "This was left to me by your grandmother. It's not worth much, but I always wanted to leave them to you, just like she did back then. People live generation after generation, as if there's hope."
Jiang Yunuo was silent for a moment, then whispered, "Thank you, Mom."
Jiang Min smiled, put the other ring into a small satin pouch, and said, "That child, it's about time he got married. You and your brother should still be in touch, right?"
Jiang Yunuo didn't speak.
Jiang Min continued, "I just heard from Xiao Chen that he's planning to hold a banquet back in China. If you go back, please give this to him for me, one for each of the two children. I won't favor either of them; I'll treat them equally." Her last sentence was said jokingly, but it left a bitter taste in the mouth.
"Mom, you should give it to him yourself," Jiang Yunnuo said, unwilling to take the bag. "After all these years, we should just talk things out face-to-face." Besides, she wouldn't go back to see him again.
Jiang Min sighed, "When people are young, they're always so impulsive and act on impulse. When they get old, they want to undo things, but they don't have the energy anymore, and besides, they don't know what the other person thinks."
Jiang Yunnuo's eyes welled up with tears. "He's your son, how...how could you treat him like that?" Before she could finish speaking, tears fell.
Xu Ke, how could I treat you like that? What right do I have to say that to her?
Jiang Min was lost in thought, staring out the window, oblivious to Jiang Yunnuo's emotional change. After a long pause, she finally said, "Nuonuo, do you know why your name is Yunnuo? You're all grown up now, there are some things you should know. You are not our biological child."
Jiang Yunnuo's expression was calm.
Jiang Min understood, "So he already told you."
"Dad didn't say much."
How could Jiang Min understand the meaning behind Jiang Yunnuo's words? She was simply immersed in her own memories.
Thirty years ago, Jiang Min's political status was classified as one of the "Five Black Categories" because she had a father overseas. Unable to study or join the army, this little girl spent her days in the impoverished countryside receiving re-education from poor and lower-middle peasants. After a few years, most of the educated youth who had come with her had left, and because of her identity, not only was she not allowed to return to the city, but even the locals avoided her. Almost on the verge of despair, Xu Ruihuai appeared. Young love is always so beautiful, unexpectedly resilient. He accompanied her through the hardships, and finally they found a place to belong in the city. After marriage, she was unable to conceive. People pointed and mocked them, but he brought home a newborn girl, telling her it was a gift from heaven, a promise he had made to her…
At that time, Jiang Min was undoubtedly happiest, even oblivious to everything else. So much so that Xu Ruihuai's later infidelity dealt her an unbearable blow.
Jiang Min recounted her story as if it were someone else's. Jiang Yunnuo listened as if turning the pages of faded old photographs. That kind of life seemed so distant from her.
Jiang Min said, "Nuonuo, the first time I saw you, I liked you very much. I told myself I would treat you as my own child."
But your real child did not do anything wrong… Jiang Yunnuo dared not meet her gaze. At this moment, Jiang Min looked like a true mother, her face full of love, yet Jiang Yunnuo only felt oppressed.
"Mom, it's getting late, let's rest," she said.
Jiang Min smiled. "Look at me, I forgot the time while I was talking."
Jiang Yunnuo was about to leave when she was stopped again. "Do you have any photos of him now?"
"Who?"
"Xu Ke."
She said softly, "No."
"Nuonuo, please take this to him for me." Jiang Min still stuffed the satin bag into her hand, her eyes flickering with pleading, guilt, and timidity.
At that moment, she couldn't bear to refuse.
She put both rings into the bag, and after a while, she took them out to look at them. They were the same size, and they fit her ring finger perfectly.
Chen Zichen couldn't help but tease her, "You already have enough rings. Why don't you wear the ones I gave you?"
"I don't have many." Jiang Yunnuo replied casually.
Chen Zichen pulled out the necklace she was wearing, pointed to the pendant, and asked, "Who gave this to you?"
She yanked it back, stuffed it into her collar, and mumbled, "What? I bought it before, I'm used to wearing it."
Chen Zichen assumed it was just a little girl's toy and didn't ask further, only saying, "Let's go back to China for the New Year, my parents want to see you."
"It's hard to take time off, I'm at work, I'm busy right now." She was telling the truth; she was supervising several people, including interns and those working on graduation projects. She thought for a moment, "How about this, invite them over for a trip."
"That won't do," Chen Zichen objected, "It's inconvenient for such a large family to come, and besides, we can go back and have the wedding banquet. You haven't taken your annual leave yet, have you?" Jiang Yunnuo
didn't speak, pulled the blanket over her head, and went to sleep.
Chen Zichen gently shook her, "Hey, when are we going to get our marriage certificate?"
Jiang Yunnuo mumbled with her back to him, "Can you be quiet? I'm already asleep."
Chapter 55 Time Flies Like Water
Recently, Chen Zichen was in a great mood. Jiang Yunnuo had tacitly accepted his proposal. This tacit acceptance meant she hadn't explicitly agreed verbally, but she had taken him to meet her mother and agreed to go back to China with him to visit his family. Chen Zichen had originally planned to submit his application to the immigration office before returning, but unfortunately, the official reviewing the documents was on vacation, so he had to temporarily abandon the plan.
However, his fiancée remained an observer of all this, neither resistant nor as enthusiastic as he was. Although he considered himself past the age of worrying about love, he didn't like to play dumb. Jiang Yunnuo never inquired about his financial situation, showed no curiosity about his previous relationships, and didn't even care whether the ring he gave her was platinum or white gold. She seemed indifferent, as if she had completely entrusted her fate to him, unlike his previous girlfriends.
While Chen Zichen felt relieved, he couldn't help but be puzzled, even secretly speculating that perhaps she had other men outside. These days, very few girls are truly single-minded. He observed discreetly, but found nothing. Jiang Yunuo's life was extremely simple: work, home, and occasionally shopping with female friends. Aside from him, few men appeared in her circle. His mood settled, but he also felt a sense of loss. This loss stemmed from the overly bland nature of their relationship; he found no rivals, which diminished the thrill of competition and added a touch of boredom.
Men, undeniably, are interesting creatures.
At night, Jiang Yunuo habitually suffered from insomnia, sometimes waking up around three or four in the morning and unable to fall back asleep. After Chen Zichen got up, he often saw her lying alone on the sofa in the living room, either reading or feigning sleep with her eyes closed. He once suspected she had contracted some hidden illness and worried about it for a long time. He hoped she would be a wife who could help him and wouldn't cause trouble, and he also hoped his children would inherit healthy genes. So, on one of Jiang Yunuo's routine medical checkups, he accompanied her to the family doctor's office under the pretext of keeping her company. She didn't seem to mind him knowing her privacy, and the checkup results showed she was a healthy woman.
He was very happy that day. As for why she often suffered from insomnia, he thought everyone has different sleep habits, and hers was just a little different.
In mid-January, Chen Zichen had to return to China early because he had contacted a supplier in China, while Jiang Yunuo was unable to leave due to an important project. So, they agreed to meet in Beijing at the end of the month and then go home together to visit his parents.
Jiang Yunuo didn't want to hold a wedding banquet and didn't mention any dowry requirements. Chen Zichen secretly thought to himself, "It's true that spending so much time abroad makes one indifferent to the traditional Chinese wedding customs, and thankfully so." His family wasn't wealthy; they had already spent a lot on his studies abroad in previous years, and his own career was still in its early stages, so it was best to save money wherever possible. Moreover, compared to those showy ceremonies, he valued a certificate more.
As soon as he cleared customs, he went to the supplier's office in Beijing with Lao Li, who had come to pick him up. Lao Li was a friend's classmate, and the supplier was someone he had contacted after much effort; he had a good reputation in the industry. Chen Zichen's company, as a middleman just getting on track, was most eager to find good sources of goods. Low costs were secondary; the most important thing was a guarantee of trust. Chen Zichen was ambitious; he could only go home for the New Year with peace of mind after his work was settled.
Before returning, his partner advised him, "I heard the previous boss was getting old and retired a few years ago, handing the business over to his son, a kid in his early twenties. Who knows how he is? He's young and inexperienced, unreliable. You'd better keep a close eye on him when you get back."
After these words, an image of a spoiled brat flashed through Chen Zichen's mind: impetuous, arrogant, and somewhat cunning, good at eating, drinking, and having fun, good at squandering money, relying on his father's connections to maintain an empire that was getting worse with each generation. In this world, a stable and comfortable life is nothing more than having a father who knows how to make money. Chen Zichen smiled and shook his head, a sudden surge of pride from starting from scratch mixed with a touch of resentment rising within him.
Sitting in the car, Chen Zichen subtly inquired about the details from Lao Li. Lao Li smiled and said, "I've met this new boss twice; he's quite young and straightforward. He happens to be in Beijing these days, so you two can have a good talk." Chen Zichen didn't press further. The two soon arrived at their destination, an office located in a small building within the Third Ring Road, with a streamlined staff. After Lao Li explained his purpose to the receptionist, he was led to a meeting room.
Inside the office, a man was reviewing documents. The secretary brought over a cup of coffee. "Mr. Xu, Mr. Chen from Huaxing Trading wants to see you."
The man casually asked, "Huaxing Trading? Where is that?" "
Manager Li introduced him. Mr. Chen just returned from France, and he..."
The man then looked up, "How many people came with him?"
"Two people, Manager Li is here too."
The man took a sip of coffee before saying, "Have Lao Liu go and greet him. Tell him I have to go out."
The secretary left. The man picked up a pack of cigarettes from the table and strolled to the French windows. He gently shook the pack, bit into a cigarette that popped out, then lit it, slightly bowing his head. Snow was falling outside, the sky was hazy and gloomy, and under the pale blue glow of the cigarette, a young and handsome face was vaguely visible on the glass. He slowly exhaled a puff of smoke, his vision blurring.
Chen Zichen didn't see the legendary young master. He couldn't help but mutter to himself, "His business isn't that big, but he puts on such airs. What's he trying to prove? One nose, two eyes, he's just an ordinary person." Old Li could tell he wasn't happy, and feeling a bit embarrassed himself, he smiled and said to Old Liu, "Your General Manager Xu is quite busy. Our General Manager Chen came all the way back from Europe, but we haven't even had a chance to meet."
Liu Xin and Old Li had played a few rounds of mahjong together and were fairly familiar with each other. He knew there was something in Old Li's words, so Liu Xin just chuckled and said, "Brother Li, you know what? Our boss has been incredibly busy these past few days. He went out early this morning and hasn't returned yet, so he sent me to host a welcome dinner for General Manager Chen... It's about time to eat now, how about we go to Yunlong and chat while we eat? Their shark fin soup and grouper are quite good..."
Old Li was a bit shrewd, and considering his own wealth and age, he wasn't entirely impressed. He teased, "Hey Liu, I didn't see him last time..." "When I first saw your General Manager Xu's signature on the documents, I thought it was a young woman."
Chen Zichen was very curious and hurriedly asked, "What's wrong?"
Old Li pointed at Liu Xin and laughed, "Their General Manager Xu's name is Xu Ke, the 'Ke' in 'beautiful girl,' you rarely hear of a man with that name, do you?"
Chen Zichen couldn't help but smile, but then Liu Xin snorted, "Manager Li, what you said is quite insightful. They say you can't judge a book by its cover, let alone just a name. Your name is Li Laiyun, so you won five million in the lottery? I get it, in business, luck comes first, ability second," Liu Xin said with a grin, leaning closer, "Brother Li, you didn't really dig up your first pot of gold like that, did you? With such good luck, can I borrow your luck?"
Li Laiyun's expression immediately turned sour. Chen Zichen thought to himself, if this continues, we'll lose business, so he quickly stepped in to smooth things over. So, the three men at the table ate and occasionally joked around, but they left each other room to maneuver, making for a lively meal.
It was nearly 7 p.m., and Xu Ke had smoked countless cigarettes; the ashtray on his desk was piled high with half-smoked cigarette butts. He glanced at the glass partition by the door; the outside was brightly lit, still bustling with activity. As long as the boss didn't leave, his subordinates wouldn't dare to just walk away so casually. He had a business dinner coming up, so he stood up, picked up his suit jacket, and went out. Passing the door, he gently tapped on his secretary's desk. "Tell them to go out to dinner, it's on me." The secretary happily agreed; the young woman still had a touch of childishness on her face. He smiled slightly and called a subordinate to go downstairs to get the car.
His life, day after day, was just this busy. Occasionally, on a weekend, alone at home, he felt extremely uncomfortable, aimless, and desolate. How long had this been going on? He couldn't quite remember—six years, or seven?
After dropping out of school that year, he joined Xu Ruihuai's company. Although Xu Ruihuai had recovered from his illness, his health was not as good as before, and he was struggling at work, causing the company's performance to decline. He knew Xu Ruihuai was eager to train him, taking him to various social events, introducing him to friends in the industry, and teaching him how to handle internal company affairs... Unfortunately, one was impatient for quick results, and the other was distracted.
Finally, one day, Xu Ruihuai lost his temper, slamming his cane on the ground, and then throwing a folder at his face. "I've given you so much time," his father said, "and you can't even come up with a list. You've been drifting through life, what have you been doing?"
Inside the folder was just a list of company personnel. His task was simply to select a few people from this small group to terminate their employment contracts. Among those people were either frail, had elderly parents to care for, had children in school, or had husbands who were bedridden and unable to work. Several days passed, and he repeatedly considered and compared the options, but could not make a definite decision. He handed the unchanged list back to Xu Ruihuai, explaining, "Economic layoffs often only bring more negative consequences."
Xu Ruihuai, having vented his anger, stared at him for a long time before coldly snorting, "Xu Ke, don't think I don't know what you're thinking. Your biggest weakness is your soft heart; this weakness makes you lose even the most basic decisiveness. You've always been someone who can't let go of things once you've made up your mind," he paused, then continued, "The day you knelt before me, you were simply trying to find a compromise. In this world, what can be perfect? And what you did was a sign of weakness. In this respect, you're not even as good as your sister. She's a girl; once she makes a decision, she does it, leaving without hesitation. Look at you, you consider others, but when have others ever considered you? Even close relatives hesitate and weigh their options when faced with conflicting interests, let alone..." "A superficial and fleeting relationship between men and women. Xu Ke, nothing in this world truly belongs to you except yourself, so emotionally speaking, no one is worth relying on."
At that moment, Xu Ke's mind was in turmoil. After Xu Ruihuai finished speaking, he only caught a few words, "...leaving without a second thought, leaving no room for negotiation..."
Looking at his son's bewildered expression, completely unlike his usual carefree and lively self, Xu Ruihuai felt a pang of pity and slowly said, "You're still young. Some things take time. I won't force you. You'll figure it out yourself. Nuonuo...after all, she's your own sister...that child," he suddenly sighed, "although she's decisive and opinionated, she's too impulsive and lacks ambition. Her edges haven't been smoothed out yet, and she'll never amount to much."
Twenty-year-old Xu Ke stood there blankly, listening to Xu Ruihuai's rambling, his thoughts sometimes clear and sometimes blurred. Nuonuo...why is she his sister? Just a few days ago, they were together, two people so inseparable, and now they've gone their separate ways, never to see each other again.
The scene from seven years ago gradually faded, transforming into a dreamlike landscape in a light sleep.
This winter was unusually cold, with heavy snow falling.
Xu Ke exchanged a few pleasantries with the arriving General Manager Wang before heading into the restaurant. Out of the corner of his eye, he glanced back and saw his subordinate still following behind. The boy was a relative's child; after graduating high school, he didn't want to continue his studies and instead took a job at the company, sometimes running errands or acting as his driver. The boy was around twenty years old, slightly naive, somewhat shy, and quite curious about adult society. At this moment, he was peeking into the opulent inner room of the hotel.
Xu Ke stopped and turned to him, saying, "Go find a small restaurant nearby and have dinner. Then wait in the car."
Mr. Wang, a kind and shrewd man in his forties, seeing the boy's dazed expression and the way the two interacted, guessed he was either a relative or an acquaintance of Mr. Xu. He quickly said, "Kids like new things, let him come in."
Xu Ke smiled dismissively and said to the boy, "Is this a place for you? So young, and already thinking about good food and drink? Have no sense of propriety. Don't let me raise a good-for-nothing." He then slightly nodded at the boy, "What are you standing there for? Hurry up and go." Although he still had a slight smile, his words were impatient.
Mr. Wang didn't say anything more. The boy blushed, ducked, and disappeared.

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