Mother and daughter neighbors (57-60)

page views:1 Publication date:2023-09-19陈言2

57.
On the bus, I received a call from Huang Shanshan. She asked where I was. I said I was on my way to the airport. She said she wanted to meet me.
"Shanshan, do you know how many eyes are watching you right now? Gao Weimin is trying to salvage the situation for you. At this critical juncture, we shouldn't meet casually."
I heard her sobbing. She said with a clear sob, "No, I want to see you, I absolutely have to."
I thought about it and agreed, telling her not to be followed by paparazzi.
I booked a room in an inconspicuous chain hotel in Hangzhou. After waiting a while, I heard the doorbell ring. Looking through the peephole, I saw Huang Shanshan standing outside, wearing sunglasses and a mask.
I opened the door and let her in, then closed it again. I put my hands on her shoulders and asked, "No one's following you, is anyone?"
"No..." Huang Shanshan shook her head, choking back tears, "Shaoyan, I miss you so much."
Tears streamed down her face. We hadn't seen each other for almost two months. I understood that her actions stemmed not only from her longing for me but also from the immense pressure she had been under.
"I missed you too," I murmured, pulling her into my arms.
Seeing her like this broke my heart. After a long while, we separated, gazing at each other. I wiped away her tears and kissed her lips.
We kissed, hastily undressing ourselves and each other, then went to the bed, naked, embracing and caressing.
I buried my face in her genitals for a long time before finally pressing down on her, her hands guiding me into her depths…
the passion subsided. I embraced Huang Shanshan's delicate body from behind, her back against my chest, and she murmured, "Shaoyan, why did you arrange for me to meet that person?"
"Because… he's your father," I said casually, but my heart was filled with a thousand helpless emotions, immense pain, and overwhelming guilt towards her.
She didn't know that I had completely allied with her father, betraying her. The thought of it made my heart ache as if a thousand ants were gnawing at it.
She turned around, wrapped her arms around my neck, and said through tears, "Don't you want me anymore? That's why you're pushing me towards that person."
I wiped away her tears. "Silly girl, how could I not want you? The only reason I arranged for you two to meet was because he's your father."
Huang Shanshan smiled through her tears, then cried again, saying pitifully, "Really? You can't lie to me."
"Of course, when have I ever lied to you?" I said, my heart aching.
That night we talked a lot. She said she didn't want to film anymore and wanted to come back to Haikou with me immediately. I persuaded her, since her filming would wrap up in a little over two weeks anyway, it wouldn't matter if she waited a little longer.
Later we made love again. During her climax, she cried and asked me, "Shaoyan, do you really love me?"
"I love you!" I said, but I felt my heart bleeding. Soon after, I ejaculated deep inside her...
We hailed a taxi and headed straight for Hengdian World Studios in the night. As we neared our destination, ignoring the driver, we kissed again. She told me to wait for her in Haikou, and then we said our reluctant goodbyes.
Dawn was breaking, and watching her departing figure, tears streamed down my face.
"To Xiaoshan Airport," I said to the driver, wiping away my tears.
For the first two days after returning to Haikou, I locked myself in my house, rarely leaving, spending most of my time lying in bed, lost in thought.
Chen Meiyan asked me what was wrong when she found out. I told her, and she said, "That girl, Shanshan, is so pitiful. You sacrificed her love to fulfill her dreams. But how do you know which she would rather have?"
"That's not the point. The point is, what's best for her life?"
"But shouldn't her life be her own decision?"
"What if her decision is wrong?"
I told Chen Meiyan that I needed her and Hao Dawei to keep some things a secret, even cooperate with me.
She sighed softly, "Actually, this is for the best. At least you can give your parents an explanation."
The night before Huang Shanshan returned to Haikou, I invited Li Jing to dinner.
After eating for a while, I said, "I don't know if my sister has told you? I have an adopted daughter."
"An adopted daughter?" Li Jing looked at me in surprise, then laughed, "Are you talking about the girl your friend asked you to take care of? Mei Yan told me about her, but she's not exactly an adopted daughter, is she?"
I laughed, "More or less? Anyway, she's like a daughter to me. She's an actress, and she's been filming in Hengdian lately. She'll be back tomorrow."
I looked at Li Jing, "I was thinking... I'll take you to meet her tomorrow, okay?"
She asked me why I wanted to take her to meet Huang Shanshan. I told her my plan, and she agreed.
Finally, she laughed, "I've never met an actress before! Is she pretty?"
I said, "You'll know when you see her tomorrow."
The next afternoon, Hao Dawei picked up Huang Shanshan from the airport. As soon as they met, Huang Shanshan said in surprise, "Brother Dawei, it's you? Where's Shao Yan?"
Hao Dawei laughed, "He's waiting for you somewhere. I'll take you there now."
"What? What are you two up to?" Huang Shanshan laughed.
Hao Dawei forced a smile and took the suitcase from her. "Let's go!"
"What surprise is Shaoyan going to give me, Brother Dawei?" Huang Shanshan asked curiously and excitedly.
"You'll find out when we get there," Hao Dawei said as they walked.
After dropping Huang Shanshan off at the foot of a Western restaurant, Hao Dawei said to her, "Shanshan, go upstairs yourself. I'll take your luggage home for you."
"Thank you, Brother Dawei. See you later," Huang Shanshan said as she got out of the car.
When they arrived at the Western restaurant upstairs, she saw me waving at her as soon as she entered, and her face immediately lit up with a smile. But when she saw Li Jing next to me, her smile froze.
"My God? She's so beautiful!" Li Jing exclaimed, stunned by Huang Shanshan's beauty.
As Huang Shanshan approached, I gestured for her to sit down and said, "Shanshan, this is Aunt Li, my...girlfriend."
I then introduced her to Li Jing, "This is Huang Shanshan, my adopted daughter."
"Adopted daughter? Girlfriend?" Huang Shanshan stared at me in astonishment. "Shaoyan, what are you talking about?"
I didn't dare look her in the eye and lowered my head. Li Jing extended her right hand to Huang Shanshan and smiled, "Shanshan, my name is Li Jing. I've heard of you before."
Huang Shanshan ignored her and stared at me, saying, "Tell me, who is she?"
Li Jing's smile froze, and her gaze shifted from Huang Shanshan to me.
"Speak!" Huang Shanshan suddenly shouted, startling Li Jing, who stared at her blankly.
Some people in the Western restaurant were also drawn to our presence. I finally raised my head and said, "She's my girlfriend, and we're getting married."
Huang Shanshan was stunned, staring at me blankly for a moment before saying, "And what about me? What am I to you?"
I said, "I already said, you're like my daughter."
Huang Shanshan grabbed a water glass from the table and splashed it all over my face.
"What are you doing?" Li Jing exclaimed, grabbing two tissues to wipe my face.
Huang Shanshan glared at me, nodded, then glared at Li Jing before getting up and leaving. Many people around were watching us.
When I dropped Li Jing off at her apartment complex, she said before getting out of the car, "Shaoyan, actually… we didn't have to act."
I knew what she meant, and smiled calmly, "Thank you for your kindness, but I'm not good enough for you. Thank you for helping me too."
"It's okay, we're friends!" Li Jing smiled helplessly and got out of the car.
Just as I was driving back, I received a call from Huang Shanshan.
"Chen Shaoyan, come back here and explain yourself! What exactly happened?" Huang Shanshan's voice was trembling with tears.
"Okay," I said, and hung up.

58.
When I got home, it was already dark. Hao Dawei and Chen Meiyan were both there.
Hao Dawei had been waiting downstairs at the Western restaurant that evening. When Huang Shanshan came down, he pulled her home.
On the way home, Huang Shanshan asked Hao Dawei if he knew about my relationship with Li Jing. Hao Dawei said he knew a little, but not very clearly, and suggested she talk to me first.
As soon as we got home, Huang Shanshan locked herself in her bedroom. Hao Dawei later called Chen Meiyan over as well.
When Hao Dawei saw me, he seemed furious, turning his back and putting his hands in his pockets. I asked Chen Meiyan, "Where's Shanshan?"
She pointed to the closed bedroom door. I went to the door and knocked, saying, "Shanshan, it's me."
There was no response, so I unlocked the door and went in.
Huang Shanshan was sitting on the floor with her back against the bed, sobbing incessantly, wiping away her tears. Used tissues were scattered around her. I sat down beside her.
After a while, she turned to look at me, her face streaked with tears, "Tell me, what exactly happened?"
I remained silent. Her tearful eyes continued to stare at me as she said, "I went out to film for three months. We were fine before I left, and we were fine when we met in Hangzhou. But when I came back, you had another woman and wanted to marry her."
I sighed and said, "Shanshan, we're not right for each other. You saw it, my parents don't approve of us at all."
Huang Shanshan stared at me for a long time. "Not right for each other? But when you came to Hengdian to find me, why didn't you think about not being right for each other? When you slept with me, why didn't you think about not being right for each other? Now you're telling me we're not right for each other..."
"I'm sorry!" I said, looking at her, then lowered my head. "I'm a man, I..."
I trailed off. She stared at me for a long time before saying, "Was it that woman who forced you? Did she catch you doing something wrong?"
"No, it has nothing to do with her."
"Then what is it for?" Huang Shanshan exclaimed. She thought for a moment and said, "I understand. Do you think you can't act anymore, can't be an artist anymore, so you're abandoning me?"
She paused, turned to face me, wrapped her arms around my neck, and said pitifully, "Shaoyan, even if that's the case, I won't be a burden to you. I'll find a job, I won't let you support me, I won't be a burden to you..."
Seeing her pitiful appearance, my heart shattered, but I still forced myself to harden my heart.
"Shaoyan, don't leave me..." Huang Shanshan said, kissing my lips, murmuring as she kissed me, "I love you, I really love you, don't leave me..."
At that moment, my heart seemed to melt. But I still pushed her away and shouted, "Don't do this, Shanshan."
I stood up, opened the bedroom door and went out, only to find Hao Dawei and Chen Meiyan eavesdropping. Upon seeing me, they walked away somewhat awkwardly.
Huang Shanshan followed, sobbing, "When I was in Hengdian, I thought every day that even if I couldn't be an actress or an artist anymore, it wouldn't matter, because I still had you. For me, nothing in this world mattered compared to you."
She choked back tears, sobbing again, "The thought that I could be with you all the time after I came back, and that I wouldn't have to run around and be apart from you so often, made me incredibly happy. But now it's like this, even you don't want me anymore."
"Damn it!" Hao Dawei cursed, grabbing my collar, his face ashen, "Chen Shaoyan, did you hear me?"
Chen Meiyan quickly pulled him back, shaking her head at him, "Dawei!"
He released me, turned around, walked to the wall, and slapped it hard. I glanced at him and said to Huang Shanshan, "Don't put so much pressure on me, okay? It's because of me that you've become like this, do you understand?"
She looked at me in surprise. I continued, "Because of me, you've been ruined, you can't be an artist anymore, what am I supposed to do? Just watch your future be destroyed?"
I turned away after saying that. She stared at me blankly for a moment, then hugged me from behind, crying, "But I don't care about any of that, I only care about you."
"But I do care!" I pried Huang Shanshan's hands away, turned back, and said, "And my parents are firmly against it, what am I supposed to do? There's a twenty-two-year age gap between us, what am I supposed to do?"
"But you didn't say that before?" she looked at me through teary eyes.
"If I didn't say that, would these facts cease to exist?" I said, "Even if I don't care about my parents' attitude, what about years from now? When I'm too old to even make love with you, am I supposed to just watch you live a life of widowhood? When I'm too old to walk, am I supposed to feel at ease letting you serve me?"
These were all questions I had been considering. I had only avoided them before Huang Shanshan faced her career crisis, but when I decided to leave her, I became acutely aware of their existence.
If there was already an insurmountable gap between me and Huang Shanshan due to our age difference, then Gao Weimin's actions completely shattered my spirit.
"I don't care!" she cried. "If you can't make love to me, I won't. If you can't walk, I'll serve you. I'm willing!"
My heart ached. I cupped her face and wiped away her tears. "Why are you doing this? Go back to your father! He knows he was wrong. He loves you and wants to make it up to you. Besides, you know he has the ability to make you an artist again, even make you famous."
Huang Shanshan shook her head while crying. "No, I don't want that. I only want you."
I stared at her for a while and suddenly said, "But I don't love you, so why are you clinging to me?"
Surprise appeared in her tearful eyes. "What did you say?"
I forced myself to harden my heart and said, "I don't love you at all. I've never loved you."
Her tears rolled down her cheeks as she murmured, "No, this isn't true. You're lying."
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Hao Dawei rushing towards me again, but Chen Meiyan held him back tightly. Chen Meiyan's eyes were also filled with tears as she looked at us with unbearable sorrow.
"Then why do you still stay with me and sleep with me?"
I sighed. "You're so young and beautiful, and you're always around me. I'm a man, how can I resist?"
“No, no, you’re lying to me…” Huang Shanshan cried, shaking her head repeatedly. “That night in Hangzhou half a month ago, you said you loved me. You clearly said you loved me when we made love. I don’t believe it, you must be lying to me…”
“Wake up! I was the one lying to you then!” I shouted.
She stared at me blankly, tears streaming down her face. I took out my phone and said, “You don’t believe me, do you? Do you know why I arranged for you to meet Gao Weimin?”
Under her dazed gaze, I continued, “Before, I gambled on football and racked up a huge debt with high-interest loans. I couldn’t pay it off without selling the house. So, I asked your father for some money.”
As I spoke, I swiped a few times on my phone screen, displaying a bank transfer notification in front of Huang Shanshan. It showed that my account had received one million yuan transferred from Gao Weimin’s private account.
“Now you understand, right? If I really loved you, how could I give you up for one million?” I said.
“No, no…” She still couldn’t believe it, tears streaming down her face. Then she sobbed, "Do you love her? Do you love that woman?"
I looked at her and nodded solemnly. She burst into tears, choking out, "Chen Shaoyan, why are you doing this to me?"
Chen Meiyan came over and hugged her, and she buried her face in Chen Meiyan's chest, sobbing uncontrollably. Chen Meiyan was also in tears.
I fought back my own tears and said to Chen Meiyan, "Stay here with her tonight."
Chen Meiyan hugged Huang Shanshan, looked at the ceiling, and said one word through her tears, "Get out!"
I turned around and opened the door. Huang Shanshan called out to me, "Shaoyan..."
She looked at me through her teary eyes in Chen Meiyan's arms, "Are you going to that woman's house?"
I turned my back to her, closed my eyes, shed tears, slammed the door, and left. Behind me, I heard Huang Shanshan's even more heartbroken cries.

59.
As soon as I went downstairs, Hao Dawei caught up with me and patted me on the shoulder. I turned around, and he punched me hard in the face, and I fell to the ground.
"You bastard, why did you do this to her?" Hao Dawei punched me repeatedly, roaring, "Huang Shanshan is someone we've both protected all these years, why did you do this?"
"Why did I do this? Don't you understand?" I shouted.
He stopped, roaring, "But you didn't have to put on such a show! Hurting her like this?"
I smiled bitterly, "If I didn't put on such a show, how could she give up?"
At this moment, Chen Meiyan also came downstairs. She cried out "Dawei!" and ran over, grabbing Hao Dawei's arm. "What are you doing?" she
asked, looking at me on the ground. "Third-rate writer, since you're like this today, why did you do it in the first place? Why did you provoke her in the first place?" Hao Dawei shouted, pointing at me.
I was speechless. He was right. It was all my fault, and the only thing I could do to make amends was to correct the previous mistake with another.
"You're a bastard," Hao Dawei cursed again, shaking off Chen Meiyan's hand and walking away.
Chen Meiyan called out to his retreating figure, helped me up from the ground, and brushed the dust off me. She gently touched the blood on my face and asked with concern, "Does it hurt?"
Then, she said bitterly, "Hao Dawei, I'm not done with him."
I smiled and said, "It's not his fault. If it were me, I would have hit someone too."
"Brother, why did you do this?" Chen Meiyan looked at me with tears in her eyes.
I said, "I'm fine. Go upstairs and look after Shanshan."
That night, I went to Zhao Li's house and cried all night.
The next day, Chen Meiyan told me that Huang Shanshan had left Haikou. She handed me the necklace I'd given Huang Shanshan. "This is Shanshan returning it to you. She said she'd pretend we'd never met."
Looking at the necklace in my hand, I smiled bitterly. "This is the best ending."
Three days later, Gao Weimin called me. He seemed very happy. "Brother, thank you for your understanding. If you change your mind about the amount of the reward, you can let me know anytime."
I said, "My thoughts have indeed changed. I'll let you know when I've thought it through."
That same day, I transferred the one million yuan Gao Weimin had given me back to his account. Soon after, I received a call from him, asking what I meant.
I coldly replied, "What I mean is, I want zero."
"Then why are you doing this?" he asked, utterly puzzled.
"For the person I love."
Gao Weimin was silent for a long time before saying, "If possible, Mr. Chen, I'd be willing to be your friend." I smiled. "No need. We're always from two different worlds." I hung up the phone, thinking sadly to myself, "From now on, Huang Shanshan and I will also be from two different worlds,
won't we?" On the anniversary of Zhao Li's death, I sat by her grave for a long time, silently asking her, was what I did, what I did to hurt Huang Shanshan, right or wrong? When I visited Huang Xiaolei, I told her about it. I said, "Xiaolei, I didn't ask for your opinion before letting Shanshan go back to her father. Please forgive me." Huang Xiaolei smiled slightly, "Shaoyan, since I've entrusted Shanshan to you, it's up to you to decide everything for her! As long as it's for her own good, whatever decision you make, I'll support you." She sighed and said, "Perhaps, Shanshan doesn't belong to this world. Why force her to stay here?" Huang Xiaolei's words eased my guilt and sadness a little. In August, Hao Dawei and Chen Meiyan's son, Hao Tong, turned 100 days old, and the couple held a grand celebration. Hao Dawei's father and stepmother flew in from Xi'an to congratulate their grandson on his 100th day. Chen Meiyan's son from her previous marriage, my eldest nephew Wang Yuyang, was on summer vacation and came from Nanjing to attend his half-brother's 100-day celebration and to reunite with his mother and grandparents. Of course, Hao Dawei's daughter, Hao Tong's half-sister Hao Ni, was also there. During the meal, Hao Dawei and Chen Meiyan, along with their three children, stood on the stage to give speeches to the guests. Seeing the couple's radiant happiness, I felt happy for them, but also thought of myself. In the past few years, I've been with five women. Fang Min was my first wife; we loved each other so much, and although she wronged me, I no longer hate her. Zhao Li was my second wife, and also the woman I loved. Although she had worked as a prostitute, in my heart, she possessed a noble soul, like a snow lotus on the Tianshan Mountains. Huang Xiaolei was my confidante, the woman who restored my confidence as a man, and even went to prison because of me; I will always be grateful to her. Huang Shanshan was also a woman I loved, but I hurt her the most. I wonder how she's doing now that she's back with her father? At least one thing is certain: the negative online reputation she's had over the past two months has vanished, the historical drama she starred in has become a hit, and she's received rave reviews online. This means Huang Shanshan's acting career has reached a new beginning. I know this is all thanks to her incredibly wealthy father. In other words, Gao Weimin has begun to fulfill his promise to me.

Fang Mei is the woman I wronged the most. Although I also wronged Huang Shanshan, I believed it was for her own good. Fang Mei is different; I may never be able to repay the debt of love I owe her.
She is now a female anti-drug police officer, risking her life in a way. I only wish her all the best and peace!
Thinking of these five women, I feel a sense of desolation, like the one in Su Shi's poem "Jiang Cheng Zi," where there is nowhere to express my sorrow.
I started writing a novel. Actually, I had been conceiving this novel for several years, but I always felt that the content and character design were not satisfactory, so I kept putting it off.
After Huang Shanshan left, I began to write, and I included these women I had encountered in the book. Although I didn't write about them, using them as models made the characters much more vivid and the content more lively.
I named this novel "The Distant World," and planned to publish it after it was finished.
Several months passed, and another Spring Festival arrived. My writing went smoothly. The publisher was very satisfied after reading the first draft and decided to publish my novel, requesting further refinement and optimization of the plot and characters.
Both the publisher and I believed that the novel would be a bestseller. This meant that my writing career was about to welcome its second major success.
During this period, Huang Shanshan starred in an art film directed by a renowned director surnamed Zhang, which propelled her to stardom and made her a potential top-tier actress in China. In addition, a modern idol drama starring her was about to air.
Unfortunately, Huang Xiaolei was diagnosed with cancer in prison.
She had pancreatic cancer and was granted medical parole. However, she refused to inform Huang Shanshan, as she didn't want to affect her daughter's acting career in any way.
Therefore, I became Huang Xiaolei's guarantor for medical parole, not only taking care of her daily life but also fulfilling my legal responsibility and obligation to supervise her.
The surgery was relatively successful, but since it was cancer, how long Huang Xiaolei would live depended entirely on fate.
I took Huang Xiaolei home and cared for her meticulously, regularly taking her to the hospital for checkups and examinations. Hao Dawei and Chen Meiyan, a married couple, also frequently visited Huang Xiaolei, encouraging her to fight her illness. Chen Meiyan, in particular, often helped me care for her.
We all felt that as friends, we should do our best to accompany her in the final moments of her life. Especially me, Huang Xiaolei and I had been intimate many times, and she was the woman who helped me rebuild my confidence as a man; emotionally, we were inseparable.
Huang Xiaolei was deeply moved by this, feeling that having made friends with us, especially with me, was a blessing from heaven.

60.
Accompanied by me, Huang Xiaolei visited Zhao Li's cemetery and burst into tears. She murmured, "Sister, I might be going to find you over there soon."
I quickly stopped her from having such thoughts, telling her that she could live for many more years, and that Zhao Li didn't want her to go to find her over there.
Huang Xiaolei, 44 years old that year, had lost the glamorous image of Huang Rose, the former queen of Haikou's nightclub scene, due to the hardships of prison life and the torment of illness. However, she still retained her former charm and, with a little dressing up , was still a beautiful mature woman.
Chen Meiyan often came to help Huang Xiaolei with her makeup and dressing up, and took her out shopping, aiming to rebuild her enjoyment of life and confidence in life, which would also help control her illness.
One evening shortly after the Spring Festival, after dinner at home, Huang Xiaolei said she wanted to take a bath, but then said she suddenly felt very tired and didn't want to move, asking if I could help her.
What could I say? We used to be friends with benefits, and I had taken care of her most of the time during her hospitalization. There was nothing to avoid or feel embarrassed about between us.
So I filled the bathtub with hot water, sprinkled some shower gel, helped Huang Xiaolei undress, and carried her into the bathtub.
Although she was already a middle-aged woman in her forties, her body was still so charming. Her round, full breasts showed no signs of sagging and still stood proudly upright.
I helped Huang Xiaolei bathe while listening to her talk. She said she was already very content to have lived this long. She had done many bad things, such as causing Fang Min's death, organizing, harboring, and even coercing so many women into prostitution...
and, for example, killing that truck driver. Although she outwardly opposed it, she actually used Xiao Dongbei's love for her, psychologically implying and even encouraging him to do it, to the point that he hired someone from Boss Cui to kill him.
In a sense, the truck driver was indirectly killed by her, and Xiao Dongbei was also harmed by her. Otherwise, Xiao Dongbei wouldn't have taken his anger out on me. In this sense, Zhao Li's death was also related to her.
Now, her terminal illness is God's punishment for her, she deserves it.
I could only comfort her, "Don't say that. Many things are just fate playing tricks on people, it's not all your fault."
We talked about Huang Shanshan, who was becoming increasingly popular. It was only then that I realized that Huang Xiaolei actually knew everything about Huang Shanshan and me.
“That girl secretly visited me in prison once before. I told her sternly that she couldn’t do that again, and that we, mother and daughter, should live in two completely different worlds…”
Huang Xiaolei wiped away her tears as she leaned against the bathtub. “She cried then. It was then that she told me everything about you two.”
I felt ashamed and asked after a long while, “Xiaolei, will you blame me for what I did back then?”
Huang Xiaolei smiled calmly. “Blame you for what? Blame you for sleeping with both of us? Who told us to like you? Blame you for sending her back to Gao Weimin.” " What about her?"
She paused, then said, "Shaoyan, everyone has their own destiny, and Shanshan's destiny is probably just like this. Back then, to prevent Gao Weimin from finding her, I desperately hid her background, even at the cost of being blackmailed by others. Looking back now, it seems quite ridiculous."
I sighed, "Seeing Shanshan like this now, I'm truly happy for her, and glad that my choice back then was correct. But sometimes I ask myself, now that Shanshan is a star, is she really happy? Was what I did back then really right?"
This is indeed a question I often ask myself. I think I'll probably never find the answer in my entire life.
"Shaoyan," Huang Xiaolei said, "Whatever choice you make, as long as you have a clear conscience, that's enough."
But I still can't forgive myself; perhaps my guilt towards Huang Shanshan will accompany me for the rest of my life.
"She... must hate me a lot, right?" I asked.
Huang Xiaolei looked at me for a while, then nodded and said, "Yes, this girl told me she'll never forgive you."
She paused, then continued, "Shaoyan, it's been over half a year since this happened, and you've helped her realize her dream. Why not tell her the truth?"
I shook my head and smiled bitterly, "We're destined not to be together. Hating someone is better than loving someone you can't have. Let her hate me!"
We both sighed. After washing and cleaning Huang Xiaolei, I carried her to the bed. Just as I was about to change her into clean underwear, she suddenly said, "Shaoyan, let's make love? I really want to do it with you again."
Faced with her expectant, even pleading, gaze, I nodded, silently took off my clothes, got into bed, and embraced her.
We embraced naked, kissing and caressing passionately. I kissed Huang Xiaolei's entire body, almost not missing an inch of skin, a single part, lingering on her private parts with kisses and licks.
She trembled, panting, her vagina overflowing with fluid. I reached up and slowly entered her.
We kissed passionately, thrusting deep inside her. She wrapped her arms around my neck and whispered in my ear, "Shaoyan, I love you, do you love me?"
I was speechless, silently continuing my thrusts. She said again, "You loved Fang Min, you loved Fang Mei, you loved Lili and Shanshan, did you ever love me?"
At that moment, her eyes were filled with tears, and I truly couldn't bear it.
"I love you!" I said, looking at her, thrusting even harder.
Tears streamed down her face. "Thank you..."
We made love even more passionately until she moaned loudly in climax, and I ejaculated inside her.
She nestled in my arms, panting softly, and said, "It's a pity I'm seriously ill and can't have your child. Otherwise, I really wanted to have one for you."
I held her and comforted her, "Don't say that. After everything we've been through, we're practically inseparable. No matter what, I'll always stay by your side, take care of you, cherish you, and never leave you." That's
truly what I thought at the time. No matter how long Huang Xiaolei lived, I would protect her every day she lived, every month she lived, every year she lived. Even if she outlived me for the rest of my life, I would still protect her, treat her as my wife, and never abandon her.
"Thank you, Shaoyan..." she shed tears in my arms.
That night, after I fell asleep, Huang Xiaolei climbed out of my arms, went to the window, and jumped from the ten-story building...
In her suicide note, which she had written beforehand, she said she didn't want to burden me for the rest of my life, and that this was also an apology to Fang Min and for the bad things she had done for her. Furthermore, as a mother of a criminal, her existence was always a threat to her daughter's career as an artist.
In her suicide note, she instructed me to notify Huang Shanshan only after she was laid to rest.
Hao Dawei, Chen Meiyan, and I saw Huang Xiaolei off on her final journey.
Since I no longer had Huang Shanshan's current phone number or WeChat, I called Gao Weimin on the day of Huang Xiaolei's burial. I told him that the woman he once loved, the woman who bore him a daughter, had committed suicide.
Gao Weimin was silent for a while on the phone, then said he would handle things with Shanshan, and that I should let him know if I needed any help.
"Thank you, but I don't need it," I said, and hung up.
During her medical parole, Huang Xiaolei secretly went to the lawyer who had defended her and made a will. In this will, she left all her tens of millions of yuan in assets to me, mostly real estate.
I didn't take a penny of these assets; after selling them all, with the lawyer's help, I established the Xiaolei Charitable Foundation, and I personally served as the head of the foundation, mainly donating to impoverished students.
Huang Xiaolei dropped out of school due to poverty and came to the south to work in her teens. Forced by circumstances, she became a prostitute and even embarked on a criminal path involving organizing and harboring prostitutes, murder, and faking a car accident.
I hope there will never be a second or third Huang Xiaolei, and I also hope to redeem her sinful soul.
After learning of this, Gao Weimin immediately injected 50 million yuan into the Xiaolei Charity Foundation, saying that more funds would arrive later, not only to donate to impoverished students but also to extend a helping hand to others in need in society. This time, I did not refuse him.
I know that he is also redeeming himself for the mistakes he made.
Like Yekhryudov in *Resurrection*, who abandoned the pregnant girl Maslova, leading her to become a prostitute, Gao Weimin abandoned Huang Xiaolei, causing her to embark on a path of no return.
His donation to the charity foundation is, in a way, a resurrection of Gao Weimin's humanity and soul.
On the seventh day after his death, I visited Huang Xiaolei's grave once again.
The tombstone was erected in my name, inscribed "Tomb of my sister Huang Xiaolei," signed by her brother Chen Shaoyan. It made no mention of Huang Shanshan; I suppose Huang Xiaolei in heaven felt the same way.
The portrait on the tombstone, of Huang Rose, once a renowned figure in Haikou's nightclub scene, is as beautiful as ever.
Thinking of her and Zhao Li, these two once inseparable sisters in the nightlife world, now separated from me by death, I couldn't help but burst into tears…

(To be continued)

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