Lover of more than two years

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-23

I've been in a relationship with my lover for two years. To be more accurate, it's like a friends with benefits. Lately, it's not exactly a clingy situation, but she wants it, and I keep putting her off. I want to be with her, but I don't want to be with her either. I don't know how long this relationship can last. After all, two years is bound to develop some feelings; we're only human.
Getting involved with her was purely accidental. Two years ago, I was bored and randomly added people on QQ to chat with, and she was one of them. At the time, I didn't know she was divorced and had a child; I only found out later.
We chatted casually, and I can't remember what topics attracted us, but we met up a week after adding each other on QQ.
I remember she said she wasn't eating well at work and hadn't had a proper meal in a long time. I offered to cook for her at my place, and she agreed. I consider myself a pretty good cook.
When I arrived, it was summer, and I had only seen her profile picture, not met her in person. While I was getting ready at home, someone knocked on the door. When I opened it, I saw a woman who wasn't very tall, probably under 1.6 meters. She was wearing tight skinny jeans and a barely-there t-shirt, her chest was quite full, and she had short hair. I'd rate her looks a 70 out of 100. I looked her up and down, and she laughed, saying, "Why won't you let me in?" I chuckled and said, "Sorry, I was daydreaming." I welcomed her in.
Since I was sharing the apartment, we didn't talk much, just that, "Please sit in the living room for a bit, it'll be ready soon." After the food was ready, we ate slowly. During the meal, she kept praising my cooking skills, and I said, "Then you can come to my place on weekends whenever you're free, and I'll cook for you." We
ate and chatted like that. After we finished eating and cleaned up, I said, "How about we watch a movie?" She didn't refuse and led me to the room, where we randomly picked a movie to watch.
At this point, I was already having ulterior motives. I don't remember what we talked about, just random things. I only remember saying, "Your waist is so thin!" and using my hand to measure it. I said, "It really is so thin!" (Later I realized she was indeed very thin). She chuckled. After sitting for a while, I said, "Sit here, are you tired?" Since there was no support while sitting on the edge of the bed, I said, "It'll be better if I put the blanket behind you!" She agreed. As I put the blanket down, I deliberately touched her waist. Seeing that she didn't flinch or say anything, I casually said, "Your waist is very thin too. So many women envy your figure." She said, "No, it's not good for me to be too thin!" I said, "It's fine!" As I said this, I casually put one hand on her waist, just there, and we continued talking.
After a while, I didn't say anything, just looked at her. My heart was pounding. After all, it was our first meeting, and I didn't know if I could take it any further. She noticed my strange behavior, turned around and looked at me. We stared at each other for about ten seconds, during which we just looked at each other without doing anything else.
I thought to myself, "Never mind, let's go for it. I'll deal with whatever happens first." I just went straight for her. She responded very cooperatively, kissing me as I picked her up and threw her onto the bed. I pounced on her, hugging her and kissing her again. Her tongue slipped into my mouth, intertwining with mine.
We French kissed for about three minutes. I kissed down her neck, kissing around her neck, while my hands were busy too. I lifted her shirt and reached inside to knead her breasts through her bra. I could feel her breathing quicken, and she was moaning softly. I pushed her bra up and started grabbing, kneading, and caressing her... Her nipples hardened under my touch, her breasts swelling. I would grab them completely, sometimes pulling and kneading her nipples with my fingers, sometimes sucking on them, sometimes opening my mouth wide as if to take her entire breast into my mouth. I slowly spread her legs apart.
I looked up at her and saw her face flushed, panting heavily, her mouth slightly open. I kissed her, slowly pulling down her pants as I did so, caressing her labia through her underwear. I could clearly feel her vaginal secretions had already soaked her panties.
I moved away from her mouth and took her nipple into my mouth, teasing it with my tongue, occasionally biting it gently. She arched her body, lifting her buttocks, and I took the opportunity to remove her last barrier. I wanted to kiss her labia, but she grabbed me (I later learned she had a C-section and didn't want me to see the scar).
I guess she was shy and didn't go any further. I got up and started taking off my clothes. She pulled her shirt down without my noticing. Once I was naked, my already erect penis was ready to enter. I looked at her and smiled, saying, "Feel it, is it big?" She didn't touch it, so I took her hand and placed it on my penis.
She grabbed it and said, "It's so hard!" She started stroking it a few times, then, holding my penis, said, "I want it."
Without a word, I aimed at her vaginal opening and thrust my hips in. She said, "Slow down, yours is a bit big." (Mine isn't that big, and I've never seen anyone else's; it's about average. Later, I looked closely at her genitals; her labia were very small, and it felt like my penis filled her vaginal opening completely.) We paused for a moment, then started kissing again. After about a minute, I said, "Should I put it in?" And just like that, I thrust in all the way. She let out a moan, and as my penis entered her tight passage, a wonderful pleasure washed over her entire body. We both groaned at the same time.
"Slow down...slow down...slow down, why did you just come in like that!" At this point, I was driven by lust and didn't care about anything else, starting to thrust. I clearly felt a tension I'd never felt before, a strong stimulation. Her vagina was stretched wide open by me, and she hooked her legs around my waist, her buttocks rhythmically responding to my thrusts. Her already flushed face turned even redder, as did her neck and chest. With her moans, our first physical contact ended.
We did it twice more. On the fourth time, I noticed the scar on her lower abdomen. After I pressed her for details, she told me she was divorced, had a child, and was living alone. I had wanted to pursue her and make her my girlfriend, but I couldn't accept what I was seeing. I said, "You shouldn't have hidden it from me. I can't accept it now." Then I said, "Go away!" I got up, dressed, and watched her leave, lost in thought. About a week later, she texted me, saying she liked me and knew no one would accept that she was divorced and had a child.
I didn't reply. The next day, she said she was very happy these past few times and wouldn't ask anything of me. She said she had a hard life herself and was already content to be with me.
Seeing this message, my heart softened. I called and asked her to come to my place. It was midnight, but luckily we lived close by, just across the street from each other. A little while later, she called to say she had arrived.
That night, besides making love, we talked for a long time. Later, she said, "Whenever you want something in the future, just tell me, and I'll satisfy you. Don't worry, I won't bother you. Just live your normal life." I was very touched at the time, and we slept like that all night, the only time we spent the night
together in the past two years. After that, we made love whenever we had time—at home, in the park. Later, we did everything, including oral sex. Two years have passed, and I've lost count of how many times we've done it.
This year, she remarried her ex-husband because of her child, but she still maintains this relationship with me. We've made love under her wedding photos at her house, anywhere in her house. Her husband is mostly away, and her child is in her hometown.
I also have a girlfriend now, and of course, I'm having sex with her behind her girlfriend's back. Since last month, I've rarely talked to her. She contacts me every few days, and I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm really tired and don't want to continue like this. I'm also worried that my girlfriend or her husband will find out someday, and then there will be no way to end it.
I'm very conflicted. I have no one to talk to about these feelings, and I don't dare to. So I'm just venting my frustrations here. My writing isn't very good, so please just read it for fun, thank you.
Note: This woman's pubic hair is absolutely rare. Her pubic hair is sparse and yellowish, and the area around her labia is also slightly yellowish. It's very tender inside. I asked her about this, and she said she didn't know. She didn't know how many times she and her husband had sex before me. She's over 30 now, and even after I've had sex with her for two years, it's still so tender. Actually, I'm a little reluctant to let her go.
[The End]

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