Female colleagues who can pretend

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-23

We're colleagues in the same department. She's been here a year, and I've been for two; we're both in our early 20s. We see each other all the time and occasionally tease each other.
Because I'm a bit of a goofball and considered one of the better-looking people in the department, I get along well with all the women there. Once, she helped me with something at work, and I naturally treated her to dinner. After dinner, when I was taking her home, she said she didn't want to rush back.
I joked, "Does not wanting to go home mean you want to sleep with me?" Unexpectedly, she said, "Fine, if you don't sleep with me, I'll look down on you." Coincidentally, everywhere was fully booked that day; actually, I was trying to find a standard room. Finally, she suggested a hotel near the airport. I was speechless, but we ended up checking into a standard room.
We slept in separate beds. It was past 3 a.m., and I vaguely heard her tossing and turning. I asked her what was wrong, and she said she couldn't sleep. Then she asked me to buy some beer. After drinking some, she said it was getting colder. I said, "Are you ever going to stop?" She replied, "Look at you, so pathetic."
I told her I was genuinely scared, but she launched into a barrage of sarcastic remarks and rants about her workplace. I was also under the influence of alcohol, so I applied some ointment and immediately started touching her. She was half-heartedly resisting, which annoyed me. She was flirting with me and then acting all coy.
Afterwards, we went to bed three more times in a month, and one night we did it three times. To my surprise, she acted like nothing had happened at work, which made me feel a little guilty.
Now we've been transferred to different departments for work. Sometimes she says she misses me, and sometimes when I ask her out for dinner, she hesitates. I miss her too, but I know I don't have any romantic feelings for her, only a slight attraction.
Recently, I've wanted to end things completely. I want to meet her and have a proper talk, to completely cut off all ties and avoid this stalemate.

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