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My female subordinate, Lili, is dead. 

    page views:1  Publication date:2023-03-23  
(I)

Lili is my lover. Yes, she is only my lover, and there is nothing else between us.

Lili is 25 years old this year and works as a junior clerk in a branch of the group I own. Actually, she is not particularly beautiful, her figure is only average to above average, and her education is only a bachelor's degree. But why did she become my lover? I'm not quite sure. Compared with my previous lovers, she understands her strengths and weaknesses better, and perhaps she knows better how to use her strengths to attract men. Maybe that's what makes her have a special charm compared to other women... or maybe it's just because of so-called "aesthetic fatigue." In short, she is so different from the other women I've met, which is why I pay extra attention to her.

My acquaintance with her started with some routine business matters, such as scheduling meetings and working meals. But gradually, I started calling her in the middle of the night. She didn't mind, so we started dating alone... until one day, she spent a passionate night with me in my office. Actually, I knew Lili had a boyfriend, and I also knew they had bought a house and were getting married after the Spring Festival. But I thought that was for the best. I didn't want her to truly interfere in my life; I just hoped our relationship would only be a long one, and she should still have her own life. With her boyfriend, maybe our relationship would end after she got married.

But many things in the world don't always go as we hope, which makes me feel like life is mocking our naivety. Looking back now, what happened during the Spring Festival still feels like a nightmare: my wife discovered my relationship with Lili.

My wife is from Qingdao; she possesses the beauty of a northern woman and the fiery temper of a northern man. At least in terms of temperament, she and Lili are completely different women. The night she found out about our relationship was the first day of the Lunar New Year. She used my phone to call Lili all night long. I don't know what the two women talked about, but when my wife threw the phone at me with red eyes the next morning, I knew their conversation hadn't gone well.

After the affair was exposed, my company happened to have a business deal to discuss with the United States, so I used this as an excuse to flee to the US to avoid trouble. Based on my past experience in handling such matters, I figured I could just leave both women out of the picture for a while, then appease them separately and spend some money on each of them, and that would be enough. So I wasn't particularly concerned about this matter. Two weeks later, the business deal was finalized, and I returned from the US a day early. Instead of going home first, I went straight to see Lili… My naivety was mocked by life once again. Things went beyond my expectations once more. After a passionate night with Lili, the next morning, this girl nestled gently in my arms and told me in her usual soft voice that she had broken up with her boyfriend and had moved out of their new house. They had originally planned to get married after the Spring Festival, but now it seemed impossible.

This news gave me a huge headache. I had thought my relationship with her was just a one-night stand, consensual and a quick goodbye, but who knew things would develop in such a way? I found myself becoming increasingly attached to this girl. That day, I left early, citing work as an excuse. I knew my excuse wasn't very good, but at that point, I was more concerned with getting rid of that girl.

My wife's side was relatively easier to handle; after all, we were in the same boat, our interests intertwined. If one of us capsized, the other would suffer. So I wasn't worried about my wife making a scene, and naturally, I assured her I wouldn't have any further contact with that girl.

With my cold treatment, things seemed to be gradually getting back on track. However, bad luck often strikes when you're feeling smug. This truth was proven once again.

One day in March, Lili called me; she was pregnant. This is such a cliché plot. Leaving aside the fact that we always take ample precautions, the most important thing is that the doctor said my sperm motility is low, meaning I'm infertile... I've never told any of my lovers about this; only my wife and I know. To the outside world, we say she doesn't want children... So I've never worried that my lovers would use the excuse of having a child to blackmail me for money.

But who knew that Lili would actually... I always thought she was a very smart woman... On the phone, she even asked me to make a decision between her and my wife, saying, "I can give you what she can't..." This is her original intention. A 18-year-old girl, ultimately too naive.

Maybe I need to talk to her face-to-face to resolve this issue.

(II)

The night after receiving Lili's call, I went to her new home. It was an apartment she found herself, and of course, I paid the rent in her name. The apartment was in a complex next to her alma mater, a two-bedroom, one-living-room unit on the third floor. It seemed quite comfortable for her to live alone.

Lili seemed to be in good spirits. She locked me in the living room and busied herself preparing dinner in the kitchen. I sat in the living room, idly watching TV while glancing at her busy figure from afar. Suddenly, I realized my wife hadn't cooked in ages… Dinner was quite lavish: red wine and steak, and of course, candlelight. Sometimes women just love this kind of cheesy romance… Before dinner, we raised our glasses for red wine, but didn't know what to say. We both froze for a moment before I blurted out that it was to commemorate six months since we met… At the table, we barely spoke, only the occasional clinking of knives and forks breaking the silence. The steak was overcooked and hard to swallow, but the red wine was decent, leaving a warm feeling in my stomach… This awkward dinner finally ended. Lili and I sat across the table from each other, with a half-burnt candle, leftover wine, and half-eaten steak between us. I thought a picture of this scene would be hilarious.

We stared at each other, the candlelight flickering. It was then that I noticed Lili was wearing the white, low-cut evening gown I'd bought for her, the one I'd given her for her wedding. She'd told me it was her favorite dress, and now it certainly suited her perfectly. The low-cut design accentuated her voluptuous figure. Actually, her presence was far superior to my wife's, and certainly not inferior to any of my previous lovers… We remained gazing at each other when Lili suddenly leaned forward and blew out the candles, plunging the room into darkness. By the light from the window, I saw her stand up and walk towards me. Then, a soft body slid into my arms. Her body was still so alluring; I couldn't help but reach out and wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her onto my lap.

The girl's soft lips touched my face; she awaited my response, and my breathing quickened. Lili kissed me while reaching out to loosen my tie and unbutton my shirt. Her soft, warm hands slipped into my clothes, gently caressing my chest before sliding down to my waist, finally unbuckling my belt. I cooperated, pulling my pants down to my knees.

Lili's hands gently stroked my already erect penis, then she slid down from my arms like a snake, kneeling on the floor between my legs. In the darkness, I saw her look up at me, smiling, her eyes sparkling. Then, she gently lowered her head and took my penis into her mouth. The girl's warm, moist mouth sent a jolt through me, and I let out a loud groan. Her tongue skillfully entwined around my penis, teasing it like sucking on a delicious lollipop. I couldn't help but reach out and hold her head, thrusting my hips into her mouth.

Her oral skills were really good. Before long, I couldn't help but ejaculate. I held her head with increasing force, and the speed of my thrusting gradually increased. But at this crucial moment, Lili suddenly bit my penis lightly. Although the bite wasn't very strong, it was enough to make me cry out in pain and stop. She stood up, leaned over and kissed my mouth, gently stroking my penis with both hands, and then whispered in my ear, "You can't ejaculate in my mouth." My penis, having been bitten by her, was already drooping listlessly. Lili stroked it for a while without any improvement, so she pulled me to my feet and said, "Then, let's take a bath. I'll help you scrub your back." (III) Standing in that small bathtub, I found that the showerhead on the wall only reached my neck. I had to hold the showerhead with one hand and lather up my body with the other. Lili stood outside the bathtub in her gorgeous evening gown. Because the gown was so long, she carefully held up the long hem to keep it from touching the floor. She was barefoot, without shoes or socks, playfully splashing in the puddles while laughing uproariously at my comical appearance. I really wasn't used to showering in such a small bathroom, so I turned to her and said in as serious a tone as possible, "Stop laughing at me from outside, come help me scrub my back." Lili gave a coquettish reply, and I helped her unbutton the back of her gown. Then she bent down and took off her underwear first. Holding the gown up with both hands, she looked at me provocatively and said, "It's nothing underneath." Then she ran out of the bathroom to take off her beloved gown. It was clear she really loved this dress.

When she returned, she was completely naked. However, after she stepped into the bathtub, I realized that the small tub was almost too cramped for two people to move around in. We ended up having to hug each other and awkwardly wash for quite a while.

I jumped out of the small tub as if escaping, looking around for a towel to dry myself off. But Lili stood in the tub with her arms outstretched and said sweetly, "Carry me to bed." Looking at the beautiful woman, still covered in tiny water droplets, I didn't bother looking for a towel. I stepped over and swept her into my arms. She wrapped her arms around my neck, and I supported her body. We walked naked to the bedroom like that.

The bedroom was just beyond the living room. I stood in the bedroom doorway, wondering how to turn on the light. Lili gently nibbled on my ear and said, "Don't turn on the light, get into bed." By the dim light from the window, I could see a fairly large double bed in the bedroom. So I threw her heavily onto the bed and pounced on top of her… This time, our foreplay was incredibly intense. I almost ejaculated several times. Finally, I pinned her beneath me. Her lower body was wet; I couldn't tell if it was water droplets or vaginal fluid. We stopped playfully teasing each other, and I slowly prepared to enter her. Just then, Lili suddenly whispered in my ear, "I'm not pregnant, I was lying." I felt a surge of energy instantly dissipate, and my previously erect penis drooped again. I rolled over and lay down beside her, unsure what to say. Lili snuggled closer to me, her small head resting on my chest, one hand tracing circles on my stomach. She asked me, "What's wrong? Are you disappointed that I'm not pregnant?" "Actually, I knew you weren't pregnant a long time ago, but... why did you tell me you were lying to me?" I didn't really care why she lied; I just found it very annoying to be interrupted when things were going well, especially today—this was the second time.

"Lili, you know, we... are impossible... I think... our relationship should end here." I felt this was a good time to confront her. Since she wouldn't let me have my fun, I'd return the favor. I sighed and continued, "I'll give you a check tomorrow, as a small compensation... you..." Before I could finish, Lili suddenly sat up and said, "Your money, your money is all ill-gotten gains. Don't get involved anymore." Her words startled me. My money was indeed ill-gotten, but only a very few people knew where it came from. Someone as insignificant as Lili couldn't possibly know the truth.

I chuckled, reached out and pulled her arm, drawing her close. I tapped her nose and asked, "What do you, a mere clerk, know? My company's business is so big..." Unexpectedly, she interrupted me again, "Of course I know, I know you're helping Southeast Asian drug traffickers launder money..." Before she could finish, she covered her mouth, seemingly aware of what to say and what not to say... At this point, I didn't want to delve into the truth of her words anymore. We were indeed helping gangs and drug traffickers launder money. I didn't know if Lili had any evidence, but "where there's smoke, there's fire." I figured she must have heard something; with her intelligence, it wouldn't be difficult for her to arrive at this conclusion. But she wasn't an employee of my company. Where did the information leak out?

While I was still trying to figure out what to say to her, she got out of bed, turned on the overhead light, went to the desk next to her, pulled out a document, and returned to my side.

"Let me explain first, I didn't take it on purpose; you dropped it here last time," she explained earnestly before showing me the document. She flipped to the marked section of the document, and I couldn't help but tense up. It was an original financial statement; I usually destroyed them. How could I have missed this one?

I was trying to figure out what I had done wrong, but I didn't notice that Lili had stopped talking. When I realized the room was quiet, I saw her looking at me with a complicated expression. "You should get out of there quickly. There's no good end to doing this… Leave them and be with me, we can…" I really didn't have the patience to listen to her prodigal son's story. Was a 25-year-old girl really that naive?

My subconscious told me this wasn't as simple as it seemed, but I wasn't in the mood to think about the whole story. I just wanted to get that report back and put an end to it… I took the report from Lili and asked her, "This is something only you and I know. No one else can know, understand?" As I spoke, I tore the report into pieces and burned them to ashes in the ashtray by the bedside.

"I know, I won't tell anyone," Lili said quietly, watching from the side. "You also promise me you won't do this anymore, divorce that woman, and be with me…" I watched the flame in the ashtray dim, each piece of paper turning to ash. Then I took the ashtray to the bathroom and flushed all the ashes down the drain. I splashed cold water on my head to calm myself down.

"Lili isn't a simple girl. There must be someone backing her. They think they have something on me to blackmail me?" I'm not one to take things lying down. I'll repay whatever others do to me, and I'll treat this girl the same way.

(IV)

I went back to the bedroom. Lili was still sitting on the edge of the bed, looking thoughtful. I sat down next to her and asked, "Who is your boss?" She looked at me in surprise. "My boss? What are you talking about? Don't you know who my boss is? You..." I didn't have time to listen to her question. I looked around. The window was closed, the curtains were drawn, there was nothing on the bedside table, and a stack of blankets and pillows at one end of the bed. I put my hand on Lili's shoulder, pulled her to lie down on the bed with me, and then I straddled her. She thought I was going to have sex with her, smiled, and was about to say something.

I picked up the pillow beside me; it was thick and heavy. As I pushed the blanket to the floor to avoid hindering my movement, I said, "Tell your boss you're not capable of touching me." Lili looked at me, somewhat confused. "What exactly…" Before she could finish, I had already pounced on her face, pillow and all. I didn't care who she was; I just wanted to kill her and let her corpse tell the person behind it all, "Try touching me if you dare!" I covered Lili's head with the pillow, then pressed my left hand against her face, trying to strangle her with my right. But unexpectedly, the girl struggled with incredible strength. She twisted her body, almost throwing me off. My left hand slipped, and the pillow tilted. Most of Lili's head was exposed. She screamed, but I quickly grabbed the pillow with my right hand and covered her again, silencing her scream.

Helpless, I had to use both hands to press down on her face, my entire upper body almost pressing against it. Perhaps Lili already knew I wanted to kill her; her struggles were incredibly fierce. Even through the thick pillow, I could hear her whimpering sounds. Her hands were on my arms, back, chest… basically anywhere she could reach, slapping and sometimes grabbing my arms, trying to pull me off her. But I had almost been thrown off once, so I knew she was quite strong. I used every ounce of strength I had, and she couldn't move my hands away for a while.

With the pillow covering her face, Lili shook her head desperately, her hands scratching wildly all over my body. Her whole body twisted and turned, forcing me to sit back, partly to avoid her grabbing hands, and partly to hold her down so she wouldn't move. My legs were wrapped tightly around the girl's waist like I was riding a horse, preventing her from moving freely. So she started struggling with her legs again.

The girl's legs swung in the air, her knees repeatedly hitting my back, her heels slamming against the bed with dull thuds. "You're quite strong, aren't you!" I said to her as I twisted my body to control her struggles.

After about two or three minutes, Lili's struggles weren't as intense as before, and the movements weren't as large. The "whimpering" sounds coming from under the pillow gradually faded. Her hands were still gripping my arms, but I could clearly feel that she had lost her strength; her knees rarely hit my back anymore, and her legs were no longer swung in the air, but rather kicked rhythmically on the bed. I thought, she's probably about to give up.

But another two or three minutes passed, and the girl beneath me continued to struggle slowly and deliberately. Her arms were limp and lifeless at her sides, occasionally twitching, while her legs still kicked rhythmically, though with very little strength, she was still alive. Her body was no longer rolling around like an eel, so I carefully sat up, kneeling, and once again pressed all my weight onto the girl's face.

"Let it end, let it end quickly." I was exhausted and about to lose my patience. I even thought that if she was still struggling in a minute, I would let her go and let her live. Unfortunately, she missed that chance.

Lili's whole body suddenly convulsed. Her chin lifted, her head tilted back, and I could barely hold her down. Her arms were outstretched, her fingers spread, first trembling slightly, then erupting into a full-body spasm and convulsion. I couldn't see what was happening behind me, but I could feel her legs bending, her thighs rubbing against my back, somewhat like when she reached orgasm during sex.

She had struggled for so long, and my penis had been rubbing against her chest and abdomen. The girl's soft body made my penis stand up high again. I recalled the wonderful feelings I had when I made love with Lili before, imagining myself thrusting inside her, about to reach the peak of climax... Suddenly, there was a "thump" from behind me. I involuntarily let go and turned around. The girl's legs, which had been raised, were now stretched straight out on the bed. The sound was from when her legs landed on the bed.

I breathed a sigh of relief and turned back, only to find that the girl who had been resisting me was truly no longer moving; her whole body was limp and powerless. I was curious. Was it all over? I carefully removed the pillow from her face. Her hair was disheveled, but I could still see that the girl's face was expressionless, her eyes open, and her mouth slightly agape. I waved my hand in front of her eyes, but there was no reaction. Then I put my finger under her nose to check—no breath. I checked her carotid artery; it had stopped there too. "Finally, it's over." I couldn't accept it. Lili, she was just...dead? Although I wanted to kill her, this was my first time killing someone. I didn't know what it was like to die. I even worried that she might suddenly come back to life like in those TV dramas.

I sat on Lili, panting. The only sound in the empty room was my breathing. I didn't know what to do, so I got out of bed to go to the living room to get a cigarette. But as soon as my legs touched the ground, they went weak, and I collapsed to the floor. At that moment, a wave of fear washed over me. I had killed someone! I had really killed someone!

(V)

I took a pack of cigarettes from my clothes in the living room, went back to the bedroom, and sat on the floor by the bed to smoke. The pale blue smoke slowly rose and then disappeared in the room. I leaned against the wall, looking at Lili's body lying on the bed. At this point, she should be called a "corpse."

Her left arm hung down from the side of the bed, her left hand limply outstretched; conversely, her left leg was simply stretched straight out from the side of the bed, her left foot pointing off the edge. I stared at her feet for a long time and found that the girl's feet were really quite something. After finishing a cigarette, I felt like I had regained my strength, so I stood up and walked to the bedside, looking down at the corpse on the bed.

The girl's legs were spread apart, and there was a large wet patch on the sheet between her legs. I had heard that people lose control of their bladder and bowels after death, so it seemed that Lili was really dead. From her flat stomach to between her full breasts, there was a large patch of semen. Had I actually ejaculated? I didn't even experience any pleasure... I was a little frustrated; today was really unlucky, I didn't get it right even once.

Looking up, the dead girl's breasts were still so firm, her nipples erect. Did she feel aroused before she died? Looking further up, her face was still expressionless, her eyes open, her mouth slightly parted, but now she looked incredibly ecstatic. The scene at the dinner table flashed back to me, and I regretted not ejaculating in her mouth earlier.

Unexpectedly, at this moment, my penis suddenly rose again, looking unsatisfied. At this point, I didn't care that the girl in front of me was dead. I climbed back onto the bed, straddling Lili's chest, her breasts pressed against my inner thighs, as arousing as when she was alive.

I supported the back of her head, helping the girl lift her head. The dead girl seemed much heavier than usual. I carefully brought my penis to her mouth, but with one hand supporting the girl's head and the other holding my penis, I couldn't pry her lips open any further. I struggled for a long time without success. The girl's soft lips kept rubbing against my penis, which only intensified my lust.

I jumped to the floor in frustration. I remembered that she always kept condoms in the bedside table drawer... So I found a condom, quickly put it on, and climbed back onto the bed, kneeling in front of Lili's chest. "Let's do it again." This time, I pulled her arm to make her sit up, supporting the back of her head with one hand and pinching her chin with the other to pry open her mouth. The lubricant on the condom allowed me to easily insert my penis into the girl's mouth. Although Lili was dead, her mouth was still as warm and moist as before. Although her tongue wouldn't actively entwine and tease my penis, I could use my penis to tease her tongue.

I tried to loosen my grip on her chin, and the girl's mouth slowly closed. However, because my penis was in her mouth, her mouth couldn't close completely. I could feel her teeth gently pressing against my penis, a slight stinging sensation, but mostly excitement. I tried gently thrusting in and out a couple of times; the girl's teeth lightly rubbed against my penis, not hindering me, but rather giving me more stimulation. So I used my left hand to support the back of the girl's head, and my right hand to hold her body, coordinating my thrusting in and out of her mouth.

When Lili was alive, she was very good at satisfying me in bed, and her oral skills were top-notch, but she never let me ejaculate in her mouth. Now that she's dead, I want to seize this last opportunity to enjoy myself one last time. Who knows who will ever give me such great pleasure again? My thrusting gradually increased in speed, and the girl's tongue repeatedly pushed my penis out of her mouth. "You still won't let me ejaculate in your mouth?" I increased the force, feeling myself penetrate her throat several times, feeling myself gradually reaching the peak. Finally, I thrust deeply into her throat, trembling, releasing all the pent-up desire. It was truly perfect. I held her tightly, letting her face press against my lower body, feeling her soft breasts pressing against my thighs. The afterglow of orgasm spread throughout our bodies. I breathed heavily, "Lili, this is the best we've ever done." My penis was truly exhausted this time. I knelt on Lili's knees, letting her arms encircle my legs, her upper body lying on my lap, while my penis was still in her mouth. I used my right hand to pinch her chin and pry open her mouth, while my left hand guided my penis out of her mouth.

Then I lifted the girl's upper body and gently pushed her backward. Her body went limp and fell heavily onto the bed. She shuddered for a moment, then returned to calm. I leaned down, looked into her empty, lifeless eyes, and said, "Goodbye, Lili."

[The End]

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