My lewd colleagues

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-23

Among my colleagues, I have two best buddies around the same age, the two I mentioned earlier. We all come from the countryside and work in the same delivery team, doing the same work, so naturally we became friends. We lived in the same dormitory for two years, and that's when we became best buddies. The eldest, Qin Shou, is two years older than me, and the second, Liu Mang, is one year older. Since the three of us were all single at the time, we hung out together every day and were known as the "Three Musketeers." We got drunk together, fought together, chased girls together, and played games together.

Because the three of us were sexually frustrated at the time, we always liked to talk about women and sex when we had nothing to do. Bai Aicao and Yao Qi from our company were often the female protagonists of our gossip.

Bai Aicao, thirty-five years old, slim, pretty, a mother of a ten-year-old, a typical beautiful young woman, generous and cheerful, my type. If it weren't for the saying "a rabbit doesn't eat the grass near its burrow," I probably would have slept with her long ago. Yao Qi, in her early forties, dressed very young, was quite attractive, with a sexy figure, and especially captivating eyes. Her husband was eight years older than her, a businessman who was often away on business, and their relationship seemed strained; she always complained about her marriage. Qin Shou and Liu Mang had long coveted her, but were probably too shy to make a move because of her proximity to them.

One time, the three of us were chatting in the office, and the conversation drifted to what kind of woman we wanted to marry. Since it was just the three of us in the room, we spoke without restraint.

Eldest brother Qin Shou: "If I'm going to find a wife, I'll look for someone like Yao Qi. Just seeing her makes me sexually aroused."

Second brother Liu Mang: "I also like someone like Yao Qi. She's beautiful and sexy, she definitely likes men fucking her."

Qin Shou: "How do you know Yao Qi likes being fucked?"

Liu Mang: "Look at how she walks with her big ass swaying, and that look in her eyes, it'd be strange if she wasn't a slut."

I said: "Whether Yao Qi wants men to fuck her or not doesn't matter, she has a husband anyway, she won't be with us. If I'm going to find someone, I'll find one with a slim waist, a big ass, and long..." "She needs to be strong and resilient, like a white mugwort will do."

Qin Shou: "What kind of plan do you have? You need to find someone who can withstand being fucked? Even the weakest woman is more than capable of handling a man. Don't you remember the three of us fucking one prostitute all night?"

Me: "Was she limping the next day?"

Liu Mang: "Yeah, the third brother has a big dick and a strong sex drive, he really needs to find someone who can withstand being fucked."

I said: "Second brother is right."

Qin Shou: "Neither of you are reliable. Finding a wife isn't like finding a prostitute, do you think you can find someone who can withstand being fucked? " Do you two want to be bastards? "

While we were talking enthusiastically, Yao Qi suddenly came in from outside. He probably heard part of our conversation and said, "You three bachelors, why are you suffering from hysteria in broad daylight? What are you talking about? Are you not ashamed?

Qin Shou: "Sister Yao, I'm sorry, our three brothers were just chatting. Didn't you hear anything?"

Yao Qi: "I heard that you three want to be bastards."

Qin Shou: "I'm not the one, they want to be." "

I said: "There are a few cuckolds now who were not cuckolded by their exes. It's not about whether they want to or not, but they are bastards as long as they get married. "

Yao Qi: "You have all caught up with the good times. Nowadays, men and women just have sex with each other in the same place. You are all good, right? Getting married is nothing new to you, you have already had sex with someone already. It's not like our time, where you could only get married on the wedding night, and you had to accept your fate, good or bad, and hang yourself by a tree.

Qin Shou: "Sister Yao, you are not old now, you are young and beautiful. If you don't want to guard a tree, just find another tree to hang yourself on." "

Everyone laughed.

Just then, Ai Cao walked in from outside, saying as she walked to her seat, "What are you all talking about? It's so lively."

I said, "Sister Bai, we were just joking. Sister Yao is cursing us all to be turtles in the future."

Ai Cao: "Hahaha, okay, turtles live long lives."

Everyone burst into laughter again.

At this moment, Liu Mang suddenly said, "I suddenly thought of a joke, do you want to hear it?"

Ai Cao: "I guess it's not a serious joke."

Yao Qi: "It can't be serious, it'll definitely involve the lower body."

I said, "How about this, I'll tell a serious one first, to set the tone, and then Liu Mang can tell his."

Ai Cao: "You guys can have a serious one?"

I said: "If you don't believe me, you'll hear it and find out."

Qin Shou then led the applause: "You go first, I also have a joke."

Then I said: "I saw a poem online yesterday, I don't know what it means, let me read it, you listen and see who knows what it means."

I said: "The poem goes: Three feet above the ground there is a ditch, in the ditch there is water flowing. No cattle or sheep come to graze, only monks come to wash their heads."

At this moment, Qin Shou laughed and said: "This is serious? It's a completely obscene poem!"

Ai Cao blushed and said: "I didn't understand it, what is it? It's all nonsense."

Qin Shou: "Then I'll tell you one that you can understand, this..." That's hilarious! I live off this joke.

Once upon a time, there was a young man from the countryside who was unmarried and knew nothing about sex. On his first trip to town, he saw advertisements for scantily clad, very sexy women hanging on the roadside. He was immediately drawn to them, and as he looked, he became increasingly excited. Before he knew it, his penis was swollen and hard, causing him pain from walking. Thinking, "Oh no, I'm getting an erection," he quickly went to a nearby private clinic. Inside, he found a doctor in his thirties. After explaining his situation, the doctor understood and chatted with him to distract him. He also prescribed some sedatives, and the swelling gradually subsided. The young man thanked the doctor and left. However, when he returned to the street and saw those sexy women advertisements again, his penis was hard again. He thought, "That's a quack! He took my money but didn't cure me! I have to go back to him!" He wanted his money back. He hunched over and went back to the private clinic. Upon entering, he found the male doctor wasn't there; this time it was a female doctor. He learned the male doctor was on emergency duty, and the female doctor was his wife. The young man explained the situation and wanted his money back. The female doctor said she could cure him, and this time it would be free. Hearing this, the young man agreed. Then the female doctor led him to a back room and told him, "Your illness is caused by inflammation and pus buildup in your penis. Just suction it out, and you'll be fine." The young man asked, "How do I suction it out?" The female doctor told him to take off his pants so she could manually remove it. However, when the female doctor saw how thick and long the young man's penis was, she liked it and told him, "Originally, we were going to use a machine to suction it out, but unfortunately, the machine is broken. We can only suction it out manually." The young man said he would do anything to get cured. At this point, the female doctor took off her pants, had the young man lie on the bed, straddled him, and supported him from above. The young man's penis went in, and they started having sex. Soon, he couldn't hold back and ejaculated profusely. After ejaculating, he felt refreshed, completely relaxed, and extremely comfortable. His penis immediately went soft and gradually returned to normal. The female doctor told the young man that she would cure him for a year; if he had a relapse within a year, he could come back to her anytime, and she wouldn't charge him. The young man thanked the female doctor profusely and went home. As he was leaving, he ran into the male doctor returning from a house call. He told the male doctor, "Your medical skills aren't as good as your wife's. This time, she sucked all the pus out of my penis without any medicine or injections, and she's guaranteed to cure me for a year." The male doctor asked how she did it, and the young man replied that the machine broke down, so he had to do it manually.

After the dirty joke was finished, everyone laughed heartily. At this moment, Ai Cao asked Qin Shou, "Are you done?"

Qin Shou said, "Of course I'm done."

Liu Mang asked, "Sister Bai, didn't you hear enough?"

I said, "What happened next?"

Yao Qi: "Is that even a question? The young man will definitely have frequent relapses after going back, and when he does..."

Ai Cao: "Impossible. If there are no beautiful women in the ads after he goes back, the young man won't have any relapses."

I: "Sister Bai is right. After going back, the young man won't have any triggers for relapses, so what relapses will he have?"

Qin Shou: "Sister Yao hopes the young man will have relapses." Everyone laughed.

Yao Qi: "That's not necessarily true. Even without beautiful women in the ads, the young man might still have a relapse if he sees a dog with its tail between its legs."

Liu Mang: "Right, right, and he might also have a relapse if he sees a chicken collecting eggs and can't stand it."

I: "The young man has seen these things before, right? Why didn't he have any relapses then? Why does he have a relapse after going to the city and seeing these things again?"

Ai Cao: "Yes, then why does he have to have a relapse?"

Qin Shou: "Oh dear, it's just a joke. Look at you guys treating it like a detective novel." Everyone laughed.

Liu Mang then said, "Let me tell you a true story and see if you can deduce it.

Once upon a time, Old Wang's wife was going back to her parents' home. Unfortunately, she was caught in a heavy rain on the way. Because she was delayed by the rain, she arrived at a temple just as darkness was falling, so she decided to stay the night. After knocking on the door, a young and strong monk came out. Hearing Old Wang's wife's purpose and seeing that she was beautiful, he couldn't help but have lustful thoughts and wanted to harass her. The monk told Old Wang's wife that he had a couplet, but he had been struggling to find a matching line. If this woman could provide one, he would let her stay the night. Old Wang's wife said she would try.

So the monk said, 'My first line is: "A man defecates, squats down, penis pointing downwards."'

Old Wang's wife thought for a moment and casually replied, 'A woman urinates, stands up, slutty monk (closes his mouth).'"

Everyone burst into laughter. Then Ai Cao suddenly asked, "What? Finished?" "

Her question made everyone laugh even harder. I said, 'What? Haven't you heard enough yet?'

Ai Cao blushed and said, 'I just want to know if the monk let the young woman stay in the temple.'

I said, 'Is that even a question? Of course he let her stay, because they matched the couplet. Monks don't lie; if it's agreed that they'll let her stay if they match the couplet.'

Liu Mang said, 'Although the joke ends here, since Sister Bai asked, I'll analyze what will happen next. First, the young woman definitely stayed in the temple, and second, she had relations with the monk.'

Yao Qi said, 'Liu Mang, don't analyze things like that. It's obvious the monk had bad intentions. Old Wang's wife not only matched the couplet but also scolded the monk. Old Wang's wife must have turned around and left after matching the couplet.' Liu Mang said, 'Sister

Yao, let me analyze it for you! First, Old Wang's wife was afraid to walk at night, so she thought of going to the temple for help. Staying in the temple is much safer than walking at night. '" "

Yao Qi said, 'That's not necessarily true. The monk is young and strong, full of vigor and energy. If he meets such a beautiful young woman, can you guarantee he won't rape and then kill her?'

Liu Mang said, 'Rape and then murder only happens when the other party resists. But what if Old Wang's wife is willing? Let me analyze this further: When the young woman saw the young and strong monk, she felt a certain attraction. So even though she knew the monk's first line was meant to seduce and tempt her, she still responded. What does that mean?'

Yao Qi asked, 'What does it mean?'

Liu Mang said, 'It means Old Wang's wife knew the monk had bad intentions, that he was using a provocative first line, yet she still responded. On the surface, she scolded the monk, but think about it, her second line was even more provocative. It seems like they were exchanging couplets, but in reality, it was the monk and Old Wang's wife flirting back and forth.'" Hearing this, I couldn't help but applaud Liu Mang, saying, "Second Brother, your analysis is spot on! Now that you mention it, I think Old Wang's wife is even more slutty than a monk. "

Liu Mang was a little smug when I praised him. At this moment, Qin Shou said, "It seems that not only has Old Wang's wife moved in, but she'll definitely continue her 'literary and martial arts' exchanges with the monk in bed tonight. I guess this time it's not that her slutty cunt is closed, it's that it can't be closed anymore." Yao Qi was right next to Qin Shou. Hearing him say this, she blushed, slapped him hard, and said, "You're even more slutty than a monk." Everyone burst into laughter. At this moment, I secretly looked at Bai Aicao, and her face also turned red. Because Aicao was right next to me, she saw me looking at her and whispered to me, "Do you like a wife like Old Wang?" "I didn't know how to answer for a moment, my heart was pounding.

A year later, both Qin Shou and Liu Mang were no longer single. Qin Shou's wife was from their village, and after the wedding, she moved with him to a rented apartment in the provincial capital, which was their temporary home. His wife was four years younger than him, and although she wasn't as pretty as city women, she was still quite attractive, less than 160 centimeters tall and weighing almost 130 kilograms. This suited Qin Shou's wishes perfectly; he had once said he liked plump women, so that their vaginas wouldn't feel so uncomfortable during sex.

Liu Mang's wife had a brief previous marriage, hadn't had any children, and had just divorced her husband six months ago. She was three years older than him and quite good-looking." She had a pair of large breasts. She owned a restaurant, which was doing quite well. She had a house and a car, which saved Liu Mang at least twenty years of hard work. Meanwhile, I was still a bachelor.

One night, I couldn't sleep, and was half-asleep, daydreaming, when I heard a knock at the door. The knocking was urgent. I wondered who it could be so late. I hurriedly got out of bed, wearing only my underwear, and opened the door. What I saw shocked me. Standing there was Bai Aicao, disheveled and unkempt, her eyes filled with helplessness and pleading. I quickly ushered her inside, asking, "Sister Bai, what happened?"

Aicao cried as she spoke, "My husband and I had a fight. He hit me, and in a fit of anger, I ran away. I walked the streets for over two hours, and seeing that all the streetlights were off, I was terrified. I didn't know where to go, and then I thought of you. I came here on a whim, wanting to stay the night."

I said, "No problem, it's a good thing you think highly of me to come here. It's just that my place is rather simple, I'm afraid it's inconvenient for you." Ai

Cao said, "Look at you, I'm down on my luck right now, how can you say I'm inconvenienced? I was worried you wouldn't welcome me."

I said, "Of course not, I couldn't even get you to come. By the way, are you hungry? I'll cook you a bowl of noodles."

Ai Cao said, "No, no, I have no appetite, I'm too angry to eat."

I said, "That's true, how could your husband bear to hit you? If it were me, I'd love him to death."

Ai Cao said, "Don't even mention it. He treated me like a treasure when we first got married, but now that he's had his fun, he's shown his true colors. He doesn't cater to me anymore, and he's often yelling at me, especially when he's out partying with his cronies. Sometimes he won't even have sex with me once a week, saying I'm loose and can't feel anything. You know, I'm only in my thirties, in my prime, how could I be loose?" "

Hearing Bai Aicao speak so blatantly, I knew she was teasing me, and I couldn't help but blush and feel my heart race. I thought to myself, if you're not shy, why should I be afraid? I laughed and said, 'I've never fucked you, how would I know if you're loose down there?'

Aicao slapped me, wiggled her big butt, and said, 'Why don't you fuck me once and you'll know?'" "She grabbed my hand and led me to the bed. I, as if possessed, followed her to bed.

Once in bed, Ai Cao was very proactive, hugging and kissing me, saying how much she missed me, how she imagined having sex with her husband every day, and how she quickly orgasmed—all sorts of crazy things. Soon she was completely naked. Looking at Ai Cao's beautiful body, her full breasts, and especially the black pubic hair below her slender waist, I was instantly filled with desire. My penis was as hard as an iron rod. Ai Cao came over and pulled down my underwear, and my thick, hard penis sprang out instantly, startling Ai Cao. She exclaimed, 'Your penis is really big! Fuck me to death!' Then she pounced on me, grabbing my penis and shoving it into her vagina. I said, 'Sister Bai, actually I also want to fuck you, but I didn't dare confess. Today I finally got my wish.'" "I started pinning her down and fucking her. The feeling was so good that it's indescribable."

Ai Cao and I were having a wild fucking session on the bed when I heard what sounded like Zhou Hong's voice saying, "You shameless bastard! I thought you were an honest man. You said you liked me during the day, and now you're fucking someone else at night. How could I possibly like someone like you?"

I was startled and quickly turned around to look, but there was nothing in the room. Just as I was wondering what was going on, Ai Cao asked, "Why did you stop? Hurry up and fuck me! Fuck feels so good."

I said, "I think I heard someone talking."

Ai Cao said, "Where is anyone? You don't even have a wife, what are you afraid of? A moment of passion is worth a thousand pieces of gold. I'm beautiful and sexy. Qin Shou and Liu Mang both want to fuck me, but I haven't done it. You don't even appreciate it. Hurry up and fuck me!"

When I tried to fuck her again, I suddenly realized that my penis had gone soft and slipped out of Ai Cao's vagina. Ai Cao was a little unhappy and said, "How could you be so useless? You went soft after only a few thrusts."

I said, "I don't know why this happened. I went soft before I even ejaculated. It shouldn't be like this."

Ai Cao complained, "You still don't like me. Are you thinking about someone else? Is it Sister Yao?"

I said, "Sister Bai, you have a husband, and you chose me yourself. Why do you care who I'm thinking about? I'm still a lad who's never been married. Don't I need to get married? I can't be having an affair with you every day, can I?"

Ai Cao suddenly got angry and cursed, "What do you think you are? You call yourself a lad? Don't you know how many women you've slept with? You just put your dick in my cunt, and this is how you treat me? Let me tell you, from now on you are my lover, and you can only have sex with me. If I find you having sex with other women, I'll cut off your big dick with scissors so that no one can have sex with you." As she spoke, she grabbed my dick and pulled it down. I screamed in pain. I woke up with a start; it was just a nightmare. I lay in bed, my heart still pounding, covered in sweat. I pulled back the covers and saw that my penis was caught in the zipper of the duvet cover; any movement felt like being pricked with needles.

[The End]

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