Yang Xiaoqing's Confession 10: First Time with Her Current Boyfriend

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Yang Xiaoqing's Confession (10) First Time with My "Current Boyfriend" (Part 1)

I finally had sex with Fang Renkai four months later, when he came to Silicon Valley for a company meeting. It happened at a motel near the airport. At that time, a full year had passed since we first met.
Three weeks before, I had taken my son to New York to visit my daughter who was studying at Columbia University. We stayed at a luxury hotel in Midtown Manhattan for two nights. I also arranged for Fang Renkai to come to the city from New Jersey to meet me; we walked hand in hand in Central Park and looked at the skyscrapers; it felt quite warm and romantic. I originally wanted to take the opportunity to sleep with him in New York, but because my son was there, and unfortunately, my period came again (this time, it was for real); I had to postpone it again until three weeks later when we met in California. I also told Fang Renkai with certainty: on that day, there would definitely be no period to spoil our fun!
That day, Fang Renkai took a flight from New Jersey early in the morning and arrived at San Jose Airport around noon. We agreed that as soon as we picked him up, we would go to the hotel as quickly as possible, check into our rooms, have some time together, and then I would stay with him until evening so he could get some sleep and be well-rested for our meeting the next day.
Actually
, for the three weeks since returning from New York, I'd been constantly anxious and uneasy about this meeting with Fang Renkai, and the days had felt disjointed. If it weren't for the daily phone calls I could make, sharing my complicated feelings, and hearing him tell me how much he missed me and wanted me… I believe I would have been driven crazy by the torment of waiting!
Emotionally, there was no doubt that we deeply loved each other. Fang Renkai was well aware of my situation and understood that I had never loved my husband; therefore, my falling in love with him couldn't be considered betrayal, but rather a need under extraordinary circumstances. However, behaviorally, it was still unacceptable for me to have a physical relationship with a man other than my husband; at the very least, I had to admit that I was a woman who couldn't control her physical desires, was restless, had an affair, and made my husband a cuckold!
In fact, this was precisely the point I found hardest to overcome and the hardest to justify: saying that I had physical desires and wanted to sleep with Fang Renkai because I loved him. ...Because the undeniable fact was that I had already slept with other men—those I loved and those I didn't—and done "bad things" that I shouldn't have done; I had already lost a woman's most important virtues: purity and shame!
But now, in order to be in love with Fang Renkai, I have to do one bad thing after another, things that betray my husband and other people's families. Wouldn't the pangs of conscience and the torment of guilt lead me to utter ruin? And wouldn't the internal conflict and inner turmoil become a nightmare I can never shake off?
So, I told him about my feelings; although I didn't mention my foolish affair with the young man Li Xiaojian, I only briefly recounted my affair with Li Tong. Fang Renkai patiently advised me not to overcomplicate things, not to get stuck in emotional ruts or dead ends. He wanted me to experience things that made me feel relaxed and happy; to see the sweetness of love and the wonder of sex as natural pursuits in life; and not to force or suppress anything. "...Upon hearing this, I immediately responded,
'I'm not suppressing anything, baby! My feelings for you have long been...completely unreserved!...'
'But what about the physical aspect, Xiaoqing...can you say the same thing?' he countered. '
No,...I...still...can't let go in that area!' I had to admit. xxx ... I dressed simply, without any jewelry (including my wedding ring) except for my diamond watch, and drove straight to the airport! Just before leaving, I suddenly remembered something and rushed back inside to grab a large leather bag filled with biscuits, fruit, and cold drinks, to tide us over if we got hungry at lunchtime. Fang Renkai's plane arrived on time. As soon as he came out, he saw me waving at him and walked over with a smile, staring at me. I was speechless, just smiling blankly at him; finally, I said, "You look so refreshed today!" He probably meant I wasn't wearing much makeup. "Oh, just refreshed," I replied, a response I didn't understand. "Let's go!" We only held hands after leaving the airport terminal and reaching the parking lot. Of course, we didn't want to be recognized by acquaintances! At the car, Fang Renkai let me get in first before walking to the other side and getting in himself. Then, we looked at each other, our eyes locked, and we just smiled foolishly. I thought, "We've finally met again, he... he'll probably kiss me!" But he didn't. He just took my hand, brought it to his lips, and gently, politely kissed it, asking, "Are you happy...?" Fang Renkai's eyes were full of joy. "Yeah!... But, I'm a little scared!" Although I answered like that, I was still smiling inside. Then he asked, "So, do you want to go... get a room now... or do... something else first..." "Go quickly! I'm sure we're both... impatient!" Hearing him say that, my heart fluttered, and my whole body felt like it had been electrified, trembling slightly. I immediately started the car, drove out of the airport, and familiarly followed the stream lined with willow trees. In less than three minutes, we arrived at the motel hidden in the woods. I parked the car in a small open space at the very back of the entrance, took out my keys, opened a glass door, and walked into the empty corridor lined with rooms. I found the room number I had booked in advance, opened the door, and went inside. Throughout the entire process, Fang Renkai remained silent; he simply followed and observed me. Only after closing the door tightly and locking the latch did he put down his suitcase, help me take off my purse, and remove my jacket; he smiled and said, "I didn't expect you... to be so efficient, arranging everything!" My face turned red as he said this. "To get there quickly! So before going to the airport, I came to the hotel to get the key..." I explained to him. Fang Renkai hugged me from the front; I leaned into his arms and snuggled against him. I tilted my head back, closed my eyes, and waited to be kissed. But he didn't kiss me; he just leaned close to my ear. As soon as I opened my eyes, I heard him laugh and say, "Looks like you're quite experienced!" He whispered in my ear. I was so embarrassed that I punched him with both hands: "You're so bad! You..." I scolded, and then pounded on Fang Renkai's strong and muscular chest again and again. "Okay!... Stop hitting me!... I won't say things like that, okay!" He begged for mercy as if admitting his mistake. "That's more like it!" I glanced at him; just as I pouted, Fang Renkai kissed me... a long, long, hot kiss that made my whole body almost melt and dissolve in his arms! When we parted, my whole face and body were hot; even the skin on my neck, pressed against the collar of his shirt, was sweating. I twisted my body and gently pushed Fang Renkai away, sighing, "Oh!...Your kiss makes me so hot!..." Knowing it wouldn't do any good, I fanned my neck with my hand. I saw that Fang Renkai's forehead was also slightly sweaty. But he still laughed, thinking himself witty, "It seems our passion is burning brightly. Once it ignites, we'll probably be consumed by desire and unable to control ourselves!"

"Oh dear, you're always being cheeky... I'm not angry at all!"
I said, tossing my hair aside. I sat down on a chair next to the bed, pretending I wasn't in a hurry and that I was in a "leisurely" mood. Actually, it was all an act; I was already incredibly anxious and longing for Fang Renkai to eagerly and proactively take me to bed!
Thinking about going to bed with him and doing "that," my eyes darted to the window; I saw the midday sun shining through the thin curtains, illuminating everything in the room; I felt uneasy, as if someone was spying on us doing "bad things." So I got up and went to the window, intending to close the thick, opaque curtains.
Fang Renkai hugged me from behind and whispered in my ear,
"It's bright outside, dark inside, who can see us... Besides... it's midday, there's nobody here..."
"Oh!... I'm... shy!" I leaned my head against his chest and replied softly.
"Shy...why are you still shy!" Fang Renkai's hands, which were wrapped around my waist, moved upwards, and he kissed my neck as he asked.
"It's...I do!" I murmured, my eyes closed. I could feel his hot lips burning against my neck.
"Mmm~!" As I let out a softer moan, Fang Renkai's hands covered my breasts and began to knead them.
"Oh ho~!" I was intoxicated, sighing, but I didn't dare to moan loudly, only taking deep breaths: "Hiss~!!"
His hot hands spun and kneaded the bra that covered my breasts, teasing the erogenous zones of my breasts; after a while, he grabbed my barely-there area and started to squeeze and pinch it. "Hiss! Hiss!..." I gasped, shaking my head violently with my eyes tightly shut; my body pressed against Fang Renkai, wriggling and twisting...
"Ah! God, these hands... are like demonic claws, it's just... so comfortable... it's killing me!" I couldn't help but shout out those unspoken words. My heart pounded wildly.
As I arched my back, I seemed to feel something hard, a large thing pressing against the hollow of my spine above my buttocks, near my waist; at the same time, through my pants, I could clearly feel my buttocks pressed tightly against Fang Renkai's muscular thighs. The sensation instantly excited me, and I longed to reach behind and touch, to grab that long, thin rod. But somehow, I became incredibly timid, completely unable to take the initiative. I could only move my body, twisting and rubbing against it, even unconsciously rising on my tiptoes to reach it and let my buttocks touch his masculine symbol.
Fang Renkai's breathing grew heavier; his hands, kneading my bra and shirt, tightened their grip, a slight pain penetrating my body, driving down to my lower abdomen, stimulating my uterus to ache. I dared not move my hands behind me, only grabbing the thin curtains in front of me, pulling them down as if I couldn't bear it.
"Why are you still shy... so shy you want to close the curtains..." he asked in my ear.
"...Ah! No... others will see!" I cried out hoarsely, tilting my head back.
"Okay, then I'll close the curtains. But... you can't be so shy anymore... oh,"
Fang Renkai released me, closed the thick curtains, and turned to stare at me as I stood by the chair. I felt incredibly uncomfortable under his gaze, and quickly lowered my head, letting my hair cover my burning face; my hands faltered, unsure what to do.
I couldn't understand why I, who was perfectly fine, had become so timid and fearful. Hadn't I been eagerly anticipating this moment, longing for it so much, wanting to make love with Fang Renkai, almost to the point of madness? ...Why am I so helpless and terrified when things come to this?
Besides, I've had sex with my "ex-boyfriend" Li Tong countless times, but I've never felt so ashamed before. Moreover, I've been extremely unrestrained and promiscuous when I secretly sleep with Li Xiaojian. I even had a lewd fantasy on Xiaojian's mother's bed that I was his mother, doing shameless and incestuous things with my son!
But how could I suddenly transform into a shy, naive young woman, too timid to touch a man, too afraid to even take off my clothes, frozen in embarrassment before him?
The awkward scene lasted for what felt like an eternity before I finally raised my head and stammered,
"I...I'm not used to this...it feels like...we're about to do something bad...I'm scared!"
"Oh dear~, Xiaoqing~! It's clearly a good thing, why do you call it a bad thing?" Fang Renkai hugged me again:
"Have you forgotten that we love each other, that we've been waiting for this moment, this longing and yearning between us?"
"...I know, but when it really comes down to it...I still..." I nodded and shook my head, responding hesitantly.
"Oh, right, speaking of which...I forgot something..." Fang Renkai released me, taking something out of his pocket:
"Look, what's this...for you!" He placed the red velvet box in my hand.
I opened it and exclaimed, "Ahhh!..." It was a gleaming silver ring!
"For me..." "Yes!...Our wedding ring," Fang Renkai nodded and smiled. "Oh my
god!...A wedding ring...We're about to 'commit adultery,' and he's giving me a wedding ring! What...what's going on?" I cried out in my heart, while simultaneously grinning from ear to ear:
"Baby!..." I let out an even bigger sigh. I heard Fang Renkai whisper in my ear,
"Xiaoqing, I love you! And I'll always remember today..." After saying that, he put the ring on my finger, kissed me, and pushed me towards the bed. I let Fang Renkai's hot lips kiss my mouth, nose, cheeks, and ears, letting his wet tongue enter my mouth. My heart, melted like liquid, floated in waves of love and boiled in the flames of desire. In my mind, the words "forever, forever; today, today..." danced, telling myself that I would never forget this day for the rest of my life!
The venting emotions surged like a flood bursting its banks, unstoppable; my burning body was like tinder, burning intensely and uncontrollably. I knew I had once again embarked on the irreversible path of "extramarital affair." The last vestiges of "reason" and "guilt" had long since been reduced to ashes and vanished in the raging fire of desire; it was utterly impossible for them to pull me back from the brink at the last moment!
Standing by the bed, I knelt down, looked up at Fang Renkai, reached out to unbuckle his belt, loosen his trousers, and pulled down his zipper; as I pulled down his trousers, revealing the large bulge in his underwear, I couldn't help but laugh.
He looked down at me with a smile; one hand stroked my hair, while the other's fingers traveled from my cheek to my lips, gently stroking them. I opened my mouth slightly, took his index finger in my mouth, and sucked on it until my eyes were closed. When I heard him call my name, "Xiaoqing, Xiaoqing!..." my eyes opened again, and his fingers were inserted even deeper into my mouth, stirring my restless tongue...
"mmmmnnnnn!..." I groaned. He pulled down Fang Renkai's underwear, and I saw his erect penis standing tall!
I finally saw my "lover's" big thing for the first time! I opened my mouth and exclaimed eagerly,
"Ah~!..." Immediately, I cupped his penis in both hands and put my head over the glans.
Then, I sucked and licked with ecstasy; more and more passionately, more and more frantically, I devoured Fang Renkai's penis. Sometimes I held the large glans in my mouth, sucking hard until my cheeks were sunken, circling and swirling my tongue around the round, protruding balls of flesh; sometimes I swallowed the large shaft, sucking and pulling fiercely, while my lips tightly gripped the hard shaft, feeling its thickness filling my mouth.
"Ah! Xiaoqing, you...you're so good at sucking...it feels so good!" Fang Renkai exclaimed in praise.
"mmmnnnn!...mmm~mnnnn!......"
I wrapped my arms around his buttocks, moaning with pleasure. With each surge of passion and the sucking motion, my body rose and fell in excitement. Fang Renkai brushed aside the hair that was covering my face and held it in his hand, so he could clearly see me sucking his penis. I knew his intention, so I immediately tilted my head back, turned my face to the side, and closed my eyes; imagining that in his eyes, my whole face was like a porcelain bottle or container holding a penis, for him to admire and play with; for him to stuff his thick penis into the bottle opening...
"So beautiful! ... Xiaoqing... you... look so beautiful! ... so sexy, so charming!" Fang Renkai growled.
Hearing this, my heart fluttered with joy; I licked and devoured even more eagerly, moaning and groaning softly from my throat, as if shouting from the bottom of my heart: "Baby~! I... am so fascinated by your... big cock!" Luckily, I had his penis in my mouth, so I didn't have to say such shameless words; otherwise, I would have been too ashamed to utter them.
"mmm~~nnnn!...mmmnnnn!!..."
Fang Renkai leaned back on the bed, and I knelt on the carpet, squeezing between his legs, continuing to suck his glans, lick his hot rod, and swallow his large penis; and going a step further, I gently grasped his testicles, stroking and playing with them; I also used my other hand to go through and pull at his thick pubic hair. ... This made him sigh and cheer repeatedly; his lower body arched upwards, and his large penis thrust into my mouth! Until he couldn't take it anymore, panting and growling, he sat up again, grabbed my hair, and simultaneously thrust his penis, which was still in my mouth, in and out.
"Ah!...Ah! What a beautiful, wonderful mouth!...You're sucking...so well! Ah!...Ah~!!"
He pulled my hair, forcing me to spit out his penis, until his lips were wrapped around the glans, his mouth only holding the ball of flesh, sucking hard, making gurgling sounds...
"Open your eyes, Xiaoqing!...Open your eyes and look at me!" Fang Renkai roared commandingly.
I refused to obey him, shaking my head with my eyes tightly closed, whimpering. It meant I was too ashamed, too ashamed to look! In the end, Fang Renkai pulled my hair forcefully, and his large glans was pulled out of my mouth. A sudden emptiness overwhelmed me, and I screamed excitedly; I didn't even care that saliva was dripping onto his penis...
"No~!...No!...Don't pull it away, give it to me!...Give it to me!"
The moment I opened my eyes, I saw Fang Renkai's smug and satisfied smile. His smile made me so ashamed I wanted to disappear. I immediately shrank behind his wet penis to hide; it was as if only by having his large penis cover my face could I avoid feeling too ashamed.
"Baby~, I...I've never been like this before, it's so embarrassing!" I said helplessly.
"What are you talking about! Who would believe...you've never been like this before?" he laughed and asked me back, then said,
"Xiaoqing, actually, you're most alluring and sexy like this! Especially those two big, watery, seductive eyes, so wanton; I bet every man who sees that would get an erection!" It was strange that I
didn't feel humiliated at all, despite Fang Renkai's scathing words. But I couldn't think straight. I quickly lifted his thick, fleshy penis and held it in front of my face; I lowered my head, stuck out my tongue, and licked the base of his penis, the testicles, and then licked upwards along the lower edge of the shaft; I licked the glans, then turned my head and used my lips to pinch the tip of his penis, sliding it down like playing a harmonica. I "served" my man back and forth until his entire penis, including his testicles, was wet with saliva, glistening and shining, so beautiful!
This feeling is really hard to describe. It's a feeling of wanting to express my desires to a man, yet also feeling ashamed and embarrassed. Especially in front of the man I love, I want him to like my sexiness, but I'm afraid he'll think I'm lewd and cheap; it makes me unable to take the initiative, wanting to express my desires, but unable to speak up. I can only respond in a coquettish, hesitant voice:
"Don't... say that about me!... I... have never... before having sex... before taking... a man's penis; it's really... so... embarrassing!"
Actually, I was telling the truth. With Li Tong and Li Xiaojian, I never performed oral sex before our first time having sex. The reason I sucked his penis was because Li Tong always ejaculated prematurely during sex, and I did it to make him hard again; with Li Xiaojian, it wasn't until our second rendezvous that I saw him masturbating, and I was afraid he wouldn't be able to control himself and would ejaculate first, so I actually performed oral sex for him. (Please refer to the previous chapters of the confession: 1, 8, 9.)
Fang Renkai, of course, had no idea what I was thinking. He simply unbuttoned his shirt and took off his undershirt; in no time, he was completely naked in front of me except for his shoes and socks. I wanted to look at him, but I didn't dare to look him in the eye; I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I was afraid of appearing too forward. Feeling flustered, I shyly buried my head between his legs, licking his testicles, licking down to his balls, and even sticking my tongue towards his buttocks...
"Wow! That's great... that's great! Xiaoqing, you're so good at licking!... Come on to bed, kneeling for too long must be uncomfortable; let me... take you naked too... let's play!" Fang Renkai said, helping me stand up and pulling me down onto the bed. When
I
was pulled onto the bed, my heart was pounding in my chest! It wasn't just because we were finally going to be naked in each other's presence, not just because we had waited almost a whole year to finally make love; it was also because the moment I had longed for—the moment when love blossomed and I craved physical liberation—had finally arrived!
Nestled in Fang Renkai's arms, I lowered my head, mortified. He carefully unbuttoned the back of my blouse, pulled down the zipper, and loosened the waistband of my trousers; he kissed my neck, pulled out my thin shirt, and lifted it above my head. I obediently stretched out my arms, letting him remove it, and felt my upper body, exposed except for my bra, both cold and hot, unsure what to do. I waited anxiously for his next move…
He kissed my neck while gently removing the bra straps. Instantly, a wave of shame washed over me as my bra sagged and my breasts were half-exposed. Instinctively, I bent my elbows to cover my chest. But Fang Renkai immediately pulled my arms apart, and the bra, padded, flipped over and fell to my waist.
Fang Renkai's warm hand grasped one breast, gently pressing and kneading, his fingers playing with the nipple, pinching and squeezing; it hardened in no time. I asked fearfully, "Baby, my… breasts, are they… so small, so small?" But I couldn't bring myself to ask. I only sighed softly, "Oh~ Oh!…" and then closed my eyes, feeling the caresses.
His other hand slipped inside the waistband of my loosely buttoned trousers; it touched the elastic waistband of my pantyhose, my stomach, and the top of my buttocks. Although the pants were loose, the waist was tight. As Fang Renkai's hand reached down towards my crotch, his arm stretched my waist, making me uncomfortably wriggle my hips.
"Oh! Unzip your pants, please..." I urged, my body shifting restlessly.
So, Fang Renkai unzipped the pants, and I helped him, and he helped me, to take off my pants. Only the light brown pantyhose covering my entire lower body and the white briefs underneath remained; he moved me and positioned me on my back on the bed. Then, he praised my shapely and alluring figure, leaned down and kissed my breasts; he launched a passionate offensive of kissing, licking, touching and kneading my body...
I closed my eyes again, savoring the sweetness bestowed by the kisses and caresses; I kept moaning and sighing, constantly writhing and twisting my body; in a completely passive state, I fell into waves of intoxication...
I was completely unaware of when my bra was removed, my pantyhose was peeled off, and my briefs were ripped off.
xxx
...
But he didn't. He just spread my legs wider, one hand caressing my stomach, then moving to my mons pubis, kneading and pressing; the other hand reached under my buttocks, scraping and probing my cleft, digging and probing in the hollow flesh. This made me writhe and tremble uncontrollably; I moaned and groaned incessantly,
"Ahhhhh! Ugh! I can't take it!"
But Fang Renkai deliberately asked, "Do you like it, Xiaoqing? Tell me, do you... like this feeling?"
"How could I answer that... Oh my god! Such a shameful thing, of course I like it!... And, more than just like it... I've loved it... I love it to death!" This... was the answer in my heart!
I grabbed Fang Renkai's hair, pushing him, pulling him, tugging at him, but I just didn't know what to do. All I knew was to spread my legs wider, arch my buttocks upwards, and press myself against him, wanting to bring my most private and sensitive parts to his lips. Finally, I couldn't help but cry out,
"Kiss me, baby!...Kiss me!..."
Fang Renkai climbed on top of me, kissing my face, my mouth, down to my chin, my ears, my neck, my shoulders, my breasts, biting my nipples, licking my chest, waist, and abdomen; his tongue probed my navel, licked my lower abdomen, and then swam down to my mons pubis, licking my pubic hair...while his hands continued to caress my wet and glistening private parts...
I couldn't hold back any longer and wanted to spread my legs even wider. Fortunately, Fang Renkai didn't wait for me to take the initiative. He pushed my knees outwards and upwards forcefully, raising my legs wide apart and placing them in the most shameful position. At the same time, he pulled back and brought his head between my legs, beginning to give me oral sex "services" I had never experienced before!
"Ah!... God, this is simply... so beautiful, so magical, so wonderful... so incredible!"
I pursed my lips, shouting in my heart, waiting. I wanted to deeply and completely savor every moment, every minute, every second; to experience the contact and entanglement between my lover's mouth and my own genitals. Just like the feelings and sensations I had when I offered my mouth and received his penis, so full of tenderness and sweetness, so willing!
But every moment, every second of careful "experience," under Fang Renkai's teasing and stimulation, had already melted into an inseparable whole; like countless shimmering points of light and color, rippling and swaying endlessly in a vast ocean; making me unable to resist wave after wave of dizziness, and leaving me confused and bewildered!
Fang Renkai's rapid breathing, mixed with deep panting, kissed the inside of my legs and around my private parts between my wide-open crotch. His nimble fingers caressed the top of my thighs and the lower edge of my buttocks at the same time, but deliberately avoided touching my vulva; making me even more anxious, as if begging him, my buttocks tightened in waves, and my vulva arched repeatedly. I cried out urgently,
"Oh~ ooh!...Baby, baby~!..."
"Do you want me to lick you... Xiaoqing?" he asked;
I couldn't answer, I could only nod vigorously, but hummed softly, "Mmm~!...Yes...yes!..."
Fang Renkai's tongue then licked the fleshy mounds and petals of my labia majora and minora, the tip of his tongue constantly sweeping and hooking; probing into the folds of my vulva, following the direction of the flesh, licking back and forth on the most sensitive flesh. This made me completely distracted, my whole body twisting wildly.
I gradually fell into a state of mental confusion and unclear consciousness; I could no longer describe exactly how he stimulated and teased my entire lower body. I felt myself fall into an incomparably sweet and comfortable state, sinking and succumbing; like riding on a floating cloud, soaring and swaying...
"Ahhh!...Baby, baby!...Ah...Oh...woo!..."
The sounds of kissing and licking gradually became clearer, mixed with the dripping and squelching sounds of saliva and bodily fluids; interspersed with our continuous panting, moaning, and cries, reaching my ears. This constantly urged my already extremely urgent feelings and my already unbearably burning body, leading to an even stronger sexual arousal. My feet, which had been pointing upwards, fell back onto Fang Renkai's shoulders; my heels pressed against his shoulders, my knees bent wide apart, my buttocks violently thrusting, shaking and swaying incessantly.
At this moment, Fang Renkai's fingers entered my vagina; rapidly thrusting in and out, skillfully probing...
"Ah! Ahhhhhh!!..." I let out an uncontrollable cry. My mind was screaming,
"Ohhhhh! Fuckmenow! Please... Fuckmenow!!"
But I bit my lip and didn't shout it out. How could I be like that? How could I be so lewd on my first time making love with my lover! But Fang Renkai seemed to have seen through me. He propped himself up, climbed on top of me, and looked down at me, asking,
"You want it, don't you... Xiaoqing, you want me to put it inside... your cute little thing... right?"
My face must have been burning red. I was too ashamed to look at him and nodded with my eyes half-closed. Suppressing it into a soft whisper:
"Mmm, I want...I want you...I've wanted it for so long!" Fang Renkai lowered himself, his burning hot, hard penis thrusting into the hole I
'd waited a lifetime for...
xxx
... I screamed, "Kai!...I love you so much, I love you so much!!" Passion burst forth like a flood, but at the same time, I felt Fang Renkai's penis fill, fill, and swell my entire body, yet it remained completely still; neither thrusting nor withdrawing, not moving an inch, as if suspending me in mid-air. I was tense, helpless, and anxious to the extreme. "No,...no! No~!!" I shook my head violently, not knowing why I cried out like that. I only knew that from my heart to my body, the crime of betraying my husband and committing adultery had finally become a reality; but Fang Renkai was the man I loved most, the man I cherished most! My heart was covered by a thick web of love, and serpentine lust coiled around my body; joy and fear intertwined, driving me mad and filling me with sorrow. The intense mix of joy and sorrow made my whole body tense, my internal organs spasming uncontrollably; tears streamed down my face uncontrollably… “Ah! Xiaoqing, don’t cry, I also… love you… ah!… ah… don’t move… don’t move… ah~!!…” But as Fang Renkai shouted, his whole body stiffened, convulsed and trembled, and he ejaculated his climaxing semen. As his penis swelled and throbbed inside my vagina, the hot, thick fluid filled my depths!! I shouted back: “Ah! Baby, baby!… baby~~!!…” I held his neck tightly with both hands. Fang Renkai lay on top of me, his breathing gradually slowing; after a while, he propped himself up, looked down at me and smiled; a slightly embarrassed smile. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t seem to be waiting for me to comment on the “results” of our first sexual encounter. When I opened my eyes and saw his face, I was already incredibly ashamed; of course, I couldn't say a word, only deeply feeling that overwhelming sense of satisfaction: I had finally had the most intimate relationship with the man I loved! Although the purely physical act wasn't perfect, and was even a far cry from the "making love" I had always imagined! Fang Renkai, on the other hand, probably felt that his "performance" in bed was too poor, and seemed a little at a loss for words; he didn't even dare to look me in the eye, only constantly kissing my cheeks and neck. Until he slowly withdrew his now soft, smaller, but still wet penis; he lay close beside me, stroking my still hot body; at the same time, he gently asked me: "Isn't it too uncomfortable... I mean... after your body... got aroused but didn't have the pleasure of an orgasm..."

I kissed Fang Renkai, stopping him from asking any more questions. I stroked his chest and shoulders with both hands; then touched his back and buttocks. While shaking my head, I murmured in his ear:
"Finally, I've made love with you... I'm so satisfied, so satisfied!..."
Yang Xiaoqing's confession (10) First time with her "current boyfriend" (Part 2)
"Afterwards", I got out of bed, ran to the toilet to wash up, and returned to bed; I felt cold all over, and even though I pulled the blanket over myself, I still felt cold. Fang Renkai jumped off the bed and turned off the air conditioner. I put on his shirt, hid under the blanket and watched him; I asked him to heat up a cup of coffee, took the big bag to bed, and we shared the dry food and fruit I brought as lunch; we ate and chatted. At this moment, I felt like he really was his wife, and I didn't even feel ashamed to be naked under the blanket!
Having eaten our fill and no longer hungry, Fang Renkai lit a cigarette and let me take a puff. Then, smiling, he said,
"We're so carefree, it's almost like we're camping in the wild, enjoying the scenery!"
Just then, the roar of a plane flying overhead shook the entire hotel and the windows of our room, making them rattle. I thought Fang Renkai was so cute and romantic; conversely, the sound of an airplane completely extinguished any romantic feelings I had.
Seeing my silence, Fang Renkai took my hand and kissed it. He then asked,
"Don't you think the sound of that plane... is like a waterfall... use your imagination... listen!"
I then noticed the silver ring he had given me, a small, coiled snake with two tiny diamonds in its eyes; it was quite adorable. But then I immediately thought: snakes are the animals that lead people to eat forbidden fruit and do bad things; and Fang Renkai and I, hadn't we eaten the forbidden fruit of lust and committed the evil act of "adultery"?
I pulled my hand back, shook my head violently, and snuggled into Fang Renkai's arms, whispering,
"But I... I just... did something bad with you... I really can't imagine... what nature is like! And, and when I hear the sound of an airplane, I... I can't help but think of my... husband is in Taiwan... but I... have already betrayed him again..." I shook my head even more fiercely, snuggling closer to him.
Fang Renkai held me tightly for a while, lifting my chin and kissing my cheeks and forehead while coaxing,
"Don't keep thinking about it, Xiaoqing~!... Thinking too much will spoil your mood!"
Unexpectedly, I glanced down at Fang Renkai's penis and saw it standing tall and erect again! I stared, my heart pounding with excitement, my cheeks burning. I thought,
"She betrayed her husband, but clearly it didn't spoil your fun at all; instead, it made your... cock even harder!"
I looked up, my face flushed with embarrassment, and glanced at Fang Renkai. I pursed my lips and then pouted, asking him,
"It's alright, but your... thing... how come it didn't spoil the fun at all, but instead... got so big?"
Fang Renkai pulled my hand to his penis and whispered in my ear, "Come on, hold it and rub it up and down!"
I immediately did as he said. Before I'd even rubbed it two or three times, it had become even bigger and harder, igniting my lust and making me sexually aroused again. He grinned from ear to ear, humming softly,
"Mmm~! It's gotten so big, so big, and so hard, so hard!"
"It got bigger because it likes you!"
Fang Renkai said with a laugh, shifting to a supine position against the headboard. I knelt beside him, cupping his penis in my hands and kneading it; I saw that it was indeed swollen to the same length as my hands stacked on top of each other, only the rounded tip of the glans showing. His answer was exactly the same as when I asked him about his size on the phone that time! So he laughed even harder and pressed,
"Then... if you like me more, will it get even bigger?"
"Well, that depends on you. The more seductive you are, the bigger and harder it will be!... Come on, Xiaoqing, let me see just how alluring and seductive you are." "
I... am not... seductive at all!" I replied coquettishly, but I deliberately moved my body and stuck my buttocks out, swaying them from side to side. Then, I tossed my hair aside with one hand and lowered my head to lick the swollen glans, making the entire ball of flesh wet and shiny. I was increasingly hoping that Fang Renkai would get excited and spread my legs apart again, thrusting his big penis inside me...
but he didn't. Instead, he leisurely enjoyed my "performance" at this moment. While stroking my face, he asked,
"Tell me, Xiaoqing, are you... wet inside again?"
I was so embarrassed by his question, but I couldn't deny it, so I nodded: "...Mmm..."
"Does your stomach feel sour...?" "...Mmm!" "Oh my god! How does he know all this?"
"Does it feel like there are a lot of little bugs crawling around inside... it's itchy and numb?
" "...Really!... And he knows a woman's body reactions so clearly, describing them so explicitly!"
"...Mmm~!...Exactly!... It's so itchy and numb!!" As I nodded in response, my buttocks shook even more violently, wishing someone would touch and play with them. Fang Renkai seemed to hear my inner cry, and he placed a large hand on my buttocks, stroking and playing with them; he also occasionally used his fingers to poke and prod in my cleft and dig around my anus.
But he just wouldn't touch my vulva any further, forcing me to arch my buttocks upwards and slump my upper body against Fang Renkai's thighs, turning my head to him, my cheek pressed against his large penis, pleading pitifully,
"Baby, I can't take it anymore! ... Please stop... teasing me! ... Please... touch my... hole..."
At the same time, I shifted my body, tilting my buttocks towards him so that he could touch my vulva more easily.
"Hmm, you really look quite alluring right now!" Fang Renkai commented and praised me with a smile.
"Hmm~~, don't be like that... embarrassing me!" I shook my head and scolded, but stuck out my tongue to lick his glans.
"Ha! ... That's interesting, you're already licking his cock and you're still shy."
His sarcasm made me blush; but I was also anxious, so I could only ignore him, letting my hair fall down to cover my face, licking back and forth on his large penis; licking until the entire penis was wet. Just as I was about to lift it up and suck on it, Fang Renkai stopped me; he said I could only lick it, not suck on it. He also made me turn around, facing him with my buttocks, straddling his chest, before he would touch my opening. He said that in this position, I wouldn't be able to see his face, so I shouldn't be shy! I
complied
completely, turning around and straddling Fang Renkai's chest, my face towards the foot of the bed, his feet, and his penis; I knelt, bent my knees, raised my buttocks, and leaned down to the tip of his erect penis, sticking out my tongue to lick his swollen, rounder, larger orb. At the same time, I felt my buttocks being spread apart by his hands, and my labia majora and minora being constantly teased by his fingers. Like electric currents coursing through my body, I trembled with a mixture of pleasure and ecstasy. My eyes closed, I licked his penis incessantly, moaning softly,
"Ooh...oh!!...mmmnn...mmnnn...aaahhhh!!..."
"Do you like it, Xiaoqing...do you like playing like this?" Fang Renkai asked, kneading my labia.
"mmmmnnnn!!...I...like it!" I mumbled, my lips pressed against his large penis.
Not being able to see Fang Renkai's face lessened my shame, and I licked his penis even more eagerly and passionately; I shook my hips even more vigorously. This caused Fang Renkai to hold my buttocks tightly, preventing me from moving, and he called out,
"Xiaoqing~, don't shake your butt so much!...I can't see you clearly, and I can't touch you!"
I obediently suppressed my squirming, my buttocks clenching in waves; the thought that Fang Renkai could see my private parts so clearly filled me with shame. I turned my head, glancing at him over my shoulder, and said coquettishly,
"What's so interesting about that part? Aren't all women's private parts the same...?"
"No way! Yours is special! Not only beautiful, but also incredibly sexy."
"Oh my! You're making me even more embarrassed!" Though I said this, I was secretly pleased by his praise.
"Okay, stop looking, okay? I need you to... touch me!" He then went to lick my penis again.
I felt Fang Renkai's smooth, nimble fingers teasing my vulva, as if they possessed magic, driving me gradually into a frenzy. The dripping sound of water coming from the cave entrance, in turn, aroused the images in my mind: my naked, snow-white, uncovered buttocks, my wet, crimson, swollen and engorged vulva, all laid bare before the man's eyes; allowing him to observe, admire, and play with them at will!
"Ah~!!" I felt a finger inserted into my vagina, probing and digging inside...
"Ah~ Ohhh!!" Another finger swept across my labia, pinching and kneading my clitoris...
"Ohhhhhh!..." Yet another finger continuously stimulated my anus...
and he was also gently playing with the small fleshy bump protruding from the anus (a "secret" of my body, which will be explained in later confessions) with his fingertip.
"My God! He... he's so good at it, so good at it, he's driving me crazy!" I thought to myself, my buttocks shaking.
Finally
, unable to bear it any longer, I turned to Fang Renkai again and pleaded,
"Baby, please... stop torturing me!... I can't take it anymore, I'm going crazy!"
"Well, what do you want... tell me, and I'll cooperate fully..." But he wouldn't let me go, teasing me.
I shook my head sadly and replied, "Don't force me... I... can't say it!"
Actually, in my heart, I had already cried out, "Baby, I... put it inside!" I'd said this shameless thing countless times in countless beds and countless secret rendezvous rooms. But today, when truly facing my beloved, I was "shy" to such an extent—it was truly beyond my expectations!
Fortunately, Fang Renkai stopped pressuring me. He pulled his fingers out of my incredibly wet vagina, smeared them on my perineum, then dragged them to my anus, slickly applying them all over. He then told me to roll over and lie on my back on the bed, spread my legs, and endure his final "conquest."
I was so excited that I didn't even have time to take off his shirt. I immediately complied, raising my legs high in the air and spreading them wide without any shame. My face was full of lewd smiles as I glanced at him and said,
"Ah~! ...Conquer me quickly! ...Put it in, conquer me! ...I've wanted it for a long time!..."
The words "conquer" and "take over" were like an aphrodisiac in my mind, making me even more sexually aroused. Completely disregarding my shameful appearance, I proactively hugged the back of my legs, presenting my naked, wet vulva to Fang Renkai; gazing at him with extreme longing, my lips trembling with excitement, I cried out,
"Baby~! I...I want...I want you so much!..."
Fang Renkai arched his back over me, looking down at me with a smile, which immediately reminded me of the day we first met at the airport over a year ago, when he had looked at me in the same way. Although I could never have imagined that things would turn out this way back then; his gaze and that smile were deeply imprinted on my heart, destined for my body to be exposed before him, to willingly spread my legs, and to accept his male symbol entering, occupying, and conquering me!
The overwhelming sense of "destiny" that washed over me not only excited me strangely, but also filled my entire body with eagerness; like a whole chicken cooked in a pot, waiting to be peeled and torn apart; like a bowl of boiling seafood soup, waiting for chopsticks and spoons to be inserted and stirred, waiting to be clamped, scooped up, pried open, bitten, and swallowed...
When Fang Renkai's burning glans finally forced open my vaginal opening and his penis re-entered my already slick vagina, I frantically closed my eyes and cried out:
"Ah~! Baby, baby~!!... You... you're so good!..." My hands clung tightly to his neck. I moaned and groaned incessantly, my body trembling and twisting beneath him. And he sighed:
"Xiao Qing!... You're so good!... It feels so good to be so tight!" Fang Renkai's reaction filled me with ecstasy.
"Really!...Baby, do you like me...? Is it tight...?" I asked him deliberately, my eyes practically glowing with seductive allure.
"Need you ask...Of course...I love you!" he murmured, starting to thrust and move his hips.
"Oh~!...Oh~!!...Baby~!" I sighed, moved.
Sighing, calling out, humming the beauty in my heart, and the unparalleled pleasure of my entire body being occupied, filled, and stretched by him. I wanted so much to utter those words of lovemaking, but I couldn't; I could only glance at him in a daze, grinning, pouting, and twitching my lips at him. Because this was my first time sleeping with him, my first time making love, my (second) time having sex, I still felt so unfamiliar with him, so unaccustomed to it!
Especially since Fang Renkai is the man I love most, the man to whom I have given my whole heart. How could I let him see through my other side on the first time, see through my most secret... lewdness? And if he really sees me as the kind of sexual object he writes about in his letters, the kind he fantasizes about; if he thinks of me as a shameless, lowly woman, then... how could I ever hold my head high in front of him again...?
However, this thought only flashed through my mind and vanished without a trace! Because Fang Renkai had already hugged me tightly, increasing the speed of his thrusts; and each thrust was so forceful, so powerful, that my whole body shook violently, almost making me dizzy...
"Ah~ Oh!... Oh~~ Oh!!... Baby, baby~!... It's... so... deep!"
"You like it, right... Xiaoqing, you... like it, right!" Fang Renkai asked breathlessly, thrusting incessantly.
"I...like!...I like it!" I mumbled, panting.
"I like being...penetrated...by a man..." he asked again.
"I like...being...penetrated..." I answered obsessively.
"Penetrated what..."
"Oh my god! Don't ask, don't ask anymore!...Of course, it's...being...penetrated by a man's big...cock!...But baby...don't...make me say it out loud!..." Though I was shouting this in my heart, what I actually cried out was:
"I'll...penetrate you...penetrate you!"
"How will you poke me..." Fang Renkai asked as he thrust down hard, really hard!
"Ah~ Oh!!...Poke...harder, poke harder!!" I cried out loudly, really loudly.
As
if hearing my body's cries, Fang Renkai thrust in and out of me with ferocious force, pounding against my body. It grew increasingly rapid and fierce; while thrusting, he also reached under my buttocks, kneading my buttocks and scraping my cleft; his slippery fingers smeared and scratched my buttocks, driving me almost crazy:
"Ah, Kai!... squeezing... squeezing me... so... comfortable!" I screamed incessantly, twisting my buttocks.
After a period of vigorous thrusting, Fang Renkai suddenly stopped, propped himself up, looked down at me, and smiled:
"...Xiao Qing, do you like... having your buttocks squeezed?"
"I like it more than just! I love it... I absolutely adore it!" she replied, pouting as she deliberately wiggled her hips even more seductively.
"So beautiful, such a sexy wiggle, so alluring, so gorgeous, so sexy!" he praised.
My cheeks flushed from the praise, but then I grinned from ear to ear and looked down at my wide-open legs. Behind a thick patch of pubic hair, I saw Fang Renkai's thick, glistening penis, glistening with wet fluid. The bulging, snake-like veins coiled menacingly around the shaft, looking fierce and terrifying, yet also incredibly exciting. I wanted him to thrust into me harder...
"Oh! Baby! Your cock is so... beautiful!... Thrust into me harder... me!" I
almost involuntarily shouted those words, but I couldn't bring myself to say them. I just stared intently at that big penis, simultaneously thrusting my lower body upwards, wanting it to go in quickly. But Fang Renkai deliberately teased me, leaving only the head of his penis inside my vagina, refusing to penetrate further; leaving my vagina feeling incredibly empty. Finally, I couldn't hold back any longer and almost cried out in despair:
"Baby~!...Baby~!...Don't tease me anymore, give it to me...give it to me!..."
But Fang Renkai grabbed my legs, bent my knees, and pushed them up to my chest. Then he used his shoulder to brace me, folding my whole body in half, lifting my buttocks off the bed, making me completely immobile. Only then did he ask me triumphantly:
"Now you know how powerful it is...you know to call for...big cock! Hmm~..." I was so
ashamed that I closed my eyes tightly and shook my head violently from side to side, unable to utter a sound. But in my heart, I had already surrendered!
"ooohhhh!...yes, yes!!...fuck me~!...fuck meplea~se!!..." Oh
my god! When I slept with Li Tong and Li Xiaojian, I would so easily utter filthy and obscene words; and... on the phone, when I "made love" with him and masturbated, I would moan like the women in adult films, but now all those words were stuck in my throat; I could only express them by biting my lip and nodding vigorously. Could it be, could it be because... I love him, love him too deeply, that I've become like this, tears welling up, feeling ashamed, yet unable to say anything?
Fang Renkai didn't force me anymore, he just smiled; suddenly he lowered himself and thrust his entire penis into my hole...
"Ahhh!!... Oh my god!..." I had just screamed when he quickly pulled out and thrust in violently again!
"Oh my god!... Ah!... Ah... Ah!..." Being penetrated felt like my whole body was being pierced.
"Ah, it hurts... so much!... Ah!... It hurts..." Tears also splashed out.
But Fang Renkai showed no mercy; his thrusts grew faster and deeper, deeper and deeper; he gasped for breath, shouting,
"But you love it so much! ... It feels so good! ... Right... Right! ... "
"Ah! ... Yes... That's it! ... Ah~! It's all rushing into my stomach... It's so sore... It's killing me!"
I was being penetrated so hard that I gripped the sheets tightly with both hands, shaking my head and screaming that my stomach ached, yet I loved the sensation of his large glans repeatedly pounding against the deepest part of my vagina, the tingling and numb feeling in my uterus; it made my entire vagina feel like it was spasming, constantly contracting, squeezing, and pinching, but I couldn't hold back his rapidly thrusting penis... It
was an excruciating feeling that made me disregard everything and cry out loud:
"Ah~ baby!...I...love you to death!...love you to death!..."
Fang Renkai saw me crying, but he didn't care at all. Instead, as if he wanted to prove something, he continued to poke me hard. I was already in a daze, so of course I didn't know what he wanted to prove. I only felt that he was much stronger and more powerful than Li Tong and Li Xiaojian; I felt like I was being completely conquered, destroyed, and ravaged by an incredibly strong man. But that feeling really made me obsessed and crazy!
I sighed and sobbed: "oooohhhh~!...yes!...wooo~~oohh!...yes!!..."
"I love giving you a big cock...to be inserted tightly, right!" Fang Renkai asked while poking me.
"Yes...!...yes!!..."
I shouted and shed tears of extreme pleasure; my whole buttocks were completely soaked with my juices.
"Ah~ Oh! ...So deep...! ...You...so deep!" I was almost unable to hold back anymore.
"Because I...love you...love you so deeply!" Fang Renkai roared in response, his body throbbing and thrusting violently.
"Oh~! ...Oh~~Oh!!" Unable to contain the excitement surging in my heart, I wailed and sobbed; disregarding everything, I let him ride and thrust on my body, letting the shock of flesh and soul engulf my entire being. I went crazy and lost my soul...
"Finally, I got it...finally, I got...the man who loves me!!" My heart screamed with ecstasy.
When
I awoke from my semi-conscious state, I found Fang Renkai's rock-hard penis still inside me; however, the position had changed so that I was lying face down on the bed, and he was pressing down on my back, his penis penetrating from behind. I groggily asked,
"Why is it like this... baby..." I felt sweat all over my back and buttocks.
"We've changed positions several times already. Don't you know... Xiaoqing, do you... like this... doggy style?"
"Ah~ then... I was... unconscious, completely out of it," I sighed, asking back without answering him.
"Yes, being penetrated to the point of ecstasy is incredibly beautiful!" he praised.
"So...so...have you...come yet..." she asked with a smile.
"Not yet!...Because I want to enjoy you even more before I come, only then will it be worth the price!"
"Ah~! It's been so long...and you still haven't come...Baby, you're just...so amazing!"
"Hehe!...You know that..." Fang Renkai replied proudly.
"Oh~! That's great, so wonderful! With such a good man, I...I'm so happy!" she sighed inwardly, feeling that after searching for so many years, she had finally found a man who not only matched her soul but also was such a perfect match physically. It was truly a gift from heaven! Overwhelmed with gratitude, her eyes welled up with tears again.
"Ah! Baby, baby!...Baby...Baby...Baby~!..." I felt Fang Renkai's penis thrusting in and out again in rhythm with my calls...
"Baby...Baby!...Baby!...Baby...Baby~!...Ah~!...Ah~!!"
One cry after another, one wave after another; high cries and low moans alternating, as if intoxicated; like being swayed in waves, churning and sinking in whirlpools, until finally I didn't know where I was!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Finally, when I hooked my arm around Fang Renkai's and came out of the hotel next to the airport, it was already late afternoon. Unexpectedly, our first time sleeping together and having physical relations so intimately lasted for most of the day; we enjoyed each other's warmth and tenderness in each other's arms, completely ignoring our rumbling stomachs...
As we walked to the car together, my whole body felt weak; my legs felt loose, and I could barely stand; it felt so... Fang Renkai whispered in my ear,
"...After playing so thoroughly in bed, can you even walk?"
I knew my greedy lust and passionate behavior today was really too much; I felt very ashamed, but I still playfully scolded him:

"It's all your fault! ...You made me...so...embarrassed! ... " But she pressed herself even closer to him!
My "extramarital affair" with Fang Renkai began that day and lasted for over two years. Before he moved here from New Jersey on the East Coast, he visited Silicon Valley twice, taking advantage of business trips and job interviews. We met and slept together several times at the same hotel, each time going completely wild before reluctantly parting.
Of course, after he moved to California, we naturally met more often and finally became a "couple."
However, before this, my several rendezvous with Fang Renkai were all because he was going back to New Jersey, and I didn't know if he would eventually move to Silicon Valley. As a result, I was particularly passionate and enthusiastic during sex, and I also felt a kind of "despair" in my heart. This is the experience that I can never forget. Yang Xiaoqing's confession (10) First time having sex with my "current boyfriend" (Part 1)

I finally had sex with Fang Renkai four months later. It happened in a motel near the airport when he came to Silicon Valley again for a company meeting. At that time, a whole year had passed since we first met.
Three weeks before, I took my son to New York to visit my daughter who was studying at Columbia University. We stayed at a luxury hotel in Midtown Manhattan for two nights. I also arranged for Fang Renkai to come to the city from New Jersey to meet me. The two of us held hands and walked in Central Park to see the view of the skyscrapers. It felt very warm and romantic. I had originally planned to sleep with him in New York, but because my son was there, and unfortunately, my period started again (this time, it was for real), I had to postpone it again until three weeks later when we met in California. I assured Fang Renkai that by then, my period definitely wouldn't spoil our fun!
That day, Fang Renkai took a flight from New Jersey early in the morning and arrived at San Jose Airport around noon. We agreed that as soon as we picked him up, we would go to a hotel as quickly as possible, have some fun, and then go out for dinner together; afterwards, I would stay with him until evening so he could get some sleep and be well-rested for our meeting the next day.
Actually
, for the three weeks since returning from New York, I've been constantly anxious and restless about meeting Fang Renkai, and the days have been passing in a daze. If it weren't for being able to call him every day, pour out my complicated feelings, and hear him tell me how much he misses me and wants me... I believe I would have been driven crazy by the torment of waiting!
Emotionally, there's no doubt that we love each other deeply. Fang Renkai is also well aware of my situation and knows that I've never loved my husband; so my falling in love with him isn't betrayal, but rather a need under extraordinary circumstances. However, behaviorally, it's still unacceptable for me to have a physical relationship with a man other than my husband; at the very least, I have to admit that I'm a woman who can't control her physical desires, is restless at home, has an affair, and makes my husband a cuckold!
Actually, this is precisely the point I find hardest to overcome and hardest to justify: that I have physical desires and want to sleep with Fang Renkai because I love him. ...Because the undeniable fact is that I have already slept with other men—those I've loved and those I haven't—and done "bad things" that I shouldn't have done; I've already lost a woman's most important virtues: innocence and shame!
But now, in order to be in love with Fang Renkai, I have to do one "bad thing" after another, things that betray my husband and other people's families; then, wouldn't the condemnation of my conscience and the torment of guilt lead me to utter ruin? And wouldn't the internal conflict and the struggle between my conscience and my conscience become a nightmare that I can never shake off?
So, I told him about these feelings; although I never mentioned my absurd affair with the young man Li Xiaojian; I only briefly recounted my affair with Li Tong. Fang Renkai patiently advised me not to overcomplicate things, not to get stuck in emotional ruts, or to avoid mental dead ends. He wanted me to experience things that made me feel relaxed and happy; to see the sweetness of love and the wonder of sex as natural pursuits in life; and not to force or suppress anything. ...Upon hearing this, I immediately responded:
"I haven't suppressed anything, baby! My feelings for you have long been...completely unreserved!"...
"But what about the physical aspect, Xiaoqing... can you say the same thing?" he countered.
"No,... I... still... can't really let go in that area!" I had to admit. xxx
...
Knowing she would be undressing in front of him, she wore those mother-style white cotton panties, a bra lined with padding that completely covered her breasts, thick stockings, wide trousers, a long-sleeved shirt with a floral collar, and a thin woolen jacket; her entire body was covered. With minimal adornment, except for her diamond watch and no other jewelry (including her wedding ring), she drove off to the airport!
Before leaving, she suddenly remembered something and hurriedly ran back inside, grabbing a large leather bag filled with biscuits, fruit, and cold drinks to eat if Fang Renkai and I got hungry at lunchtime.
Fang Renkai's plane arrived on time. As soon as he came out, seeing me waving at him, he smiled and walked over, staring at me. I was speechless, just staring blankly at him and smiling. I finally managed to say,
"You look so fresh today!" He probably meant I wasn't wearing much makeup.
"Oh, just fresh," I replied, a response I didn't really understand. "Let's go!"
We only held hands after leaving the airport terminal and reaching the parking lot. We were afraid of being recognized by acquaintances! At the car, Fang Renkai let me get in first before walking to the other side and getting in himself.
Then, we looked at each other, our eyes meeting, just smiling foolishly.
I thought, "We've finally met again, he... he'll probably kiss me!"
But he didn't. He just took my hand, brought it to his lips, and gently, politely kissed it, asking,
"Are you happy...?" Fang Renkai's eyes were full of joy.
"Yes!... But, a little scared!" Even though I answered like that, I was still smiling inside. Then he asked,
"So, do you want to go... to a room now... or... do something else first..."
"Go quickly! I'm sure we're both... impatient!"
Hearing him say that, my heart leaped with joy, my whole body trembling slightly as if electrified. I immediately started the car, drove out of the airport, and familiarly followed the willow-lined creek. In less than three minutes, I arrived at the motel hidden in the woods.
I
parked the car in a small open space at the very back of the entrance, took out my keys, opened a glass door, and entered the corridor filled with rooms, but completely empty. I found the room number I had booked and went inside. Throughout the entire process, Fang Renkai remained silent; he simply followed and observed me. Only after closing the door and locking the latch did he put down his suitcase, help me take off my purse, and remove my jacket; he smiled and said,
"I didn't expect you... to be so efficient, arranging everything!" My face flushed.
"To get there quickly! So before going to the airport, I came to the hotel to get the key..." I explained to him.
Fang Renkai hugged me from the front; I leaned into his arms and snuggled against him. I tilted my head back, closed my eyes, and waited to be kissed. But he didn't kiss me, only leaned close to my ear. As soon as I opened my eyes, I heard him laugh and say,
"Looks like you're quite experienced!" He whispered in my ear. I was so embarrassed that I punched him with both hands:
"You're so bad! You..." I scolded, and then repeatedly pounded Fang Renkai's strong and muscular chest.
"Okay! ... Stop hitting me! ... I won't say things like that, okay!" he pleaded, as if admitting his mistake.
"That's more like it!" I glanced at him; just as I pouted, Fang Renkai kissed me...
a long, long, hot kiss that made me feel like I was melting in his arms! When we parted, my face and body were burning; even the skin on my neck, pressed against the collar of his shirt, was sweating. I twisted my body and gently pushed Fang Renkai away, sighing:
"Oh! ... Your kiss made me so hot!..." Knowing it was useless, I fanned my neck with my hand.
I saw that Fang Renkai's forehead was also slightly sweaty. But he still laughed, thinking himself witty,
"It's clear our passion is burning bright. Once it ignites, we'll probably be consumed by lust and unable to control ourselves!"
"Oh dear, you're just being cheeky... I'm not... burning at all!"
I said, tossing my hair aside. I sat down on a chair next to the bed, pretending I wasn't in a hurry and that I was still "leisurely." Actually, it was all an act; I was already frantic, desperately wanting Fang Renkai to eagerly and proactively take me to bed!
Thinking about doing "that" with him, my eyes darted to the window; I saw the midday sun shining through the thin curtains, illuminating everything in the room; I felt uneasy, as if someone was spying on us doing "bad things." So I got up and went to the window, intending to pull the thick, opaque curtains closed.
Fang Renkai hugged me from behind, whispering in my ear,
"It's bright outside, but dark inside. Who can see us? Besides... it's noon, and there's nobody here..."
"Oh!... I'm... shy!" I leaned back against his chest, responding softly.
"Shy... why are you still shy?..." Fang Renkai's hands, which were wrapped around my waist, moved upwards, kissing my neck as he asked.
"It's just... I will!" I murmured, closing my eyes. I could feel his hot lips burning against my neck.
"Mmm~!" As I let out a softer moan, Fang Renkai's hands covered my breasts, beginning to knead them.
"Oh ho~!" I sighed, intoxicated, but dared not moan loudly, only inhaling sharply: "Hiss~!!"
His burning hands spun and kneaded the bra lining the breasts, teasing the erogenous zones of my breasts; soon, he grasped my barely-there area, squeezing and pinching it. "Hiss! Hiss!..." I gasped, shaking my head violently with my eyes tightly shut; my body pressed against Fang Renkai, wriggling and twisting...
"Ah! God, these hands... are like demonic claws, it's just... so comfortable... it's killing me!" I couldn't help but shout out those unspoken words. My heart pounded wildly.
As I arched my back, I seemed to feel something hard, a large thing pressing against the hollow of my spine above my buttocks, near my waist; at the same time, through my pants, I could clearly feel my buttocks pressed tightly against Fang Renkai's muscular thighs. The sensation instantly excited me, and I longed to reach behind and touch, to grab that long, thin rod. But somehow, I became incredibly timid, completely unable to take the initiative. I could only move my body, twisting and rubbing against it, even unconsciously rising on my tiptoes to reach it and let my buttocks touch his masculine symbol.
Fang Renkai's breathing grew heavier; his hands, kneading my bra and shirt, tightened their grip, a slight pain penetrating my body, driving down to my lower abdomen, stimulating my uterus to ache. I dared not move my hands behind me, only grabbing the thin curtains in front of me, pulling them down as if I couldn't bear it.
"Why are you still shy... so shy you want to close the curtains..." he asked in my ear.
"...Ah! No... others will see!" I cried out hoarsely, tilting my head back.
"Okay, then I'll close the curtains. But... you can't be so shy anymore... oh,"
Fang Renkai released me, closed the thick curtains, and turned to stare at me as I stood by the chair. I felt incredibly uncomfortable under his gaze, and quickly lowered my head, letting my hair cover my burning face; my hands faltered, unsure what to do.
I couldn't understand why I, who was perfectly fine, had become so timid and fearful. Hadn't I been eagerly anticipating this moment, longing for it so much, wanting to make love with Fang Renkai, almost to the point of madness? ...Why am I so helpless and terrified when things come to this?
Besides, I've had sex with my "ex-boyfriend" Li Tong countless times, but I've never felt so ashamed before. Moreover, I've been extremely unrestrained and promiscuous when I secretly sleep with Li Xiaojian. I even had a lewd fantasy on Xiaojian's mother's bed that I was his mother, doing shameless and incestuous things with my son!
But how could I suddenly transform into a shy, naive young woman, too timid to touch a man, too afraid to even take off my clothes, frozen in embarrassment before him?
The awkward scene lasted for what felt like an eternity before I finally raised my head and stammered,
"I...I'm not used to this...it feels like...we're about to do something bad...I'm scared!"
"Oh dear~, Xiaoqing~! It's clearly a good thing, why do you call it a bad thing?" Fang Renkai hugged me again:
"Have you forgotten that we love each other, that we've been waiting for this moment, this longing and yearning between us?"
"...I know, but when it really comes down to it...I still..." I nodded and shook my head, responding hesitantly.
"Oh, right, speaking of which...I forgot something..." Fang Renkai released me, taking something out of his pocket:
"Look, what's this...for you!" He placed the red velvet box in my hand.
I opened it and exclaimed, "Ahhh!..." It was a gleaming silver ring!!
"For me..." "Yes!...Our wedding ring," Fang Renkai nodded and smiled. "Oh my
god!...A wedding ring...We're about to 'commit adultery,' and he's giving me a wedding ring! What...what's going on?" I cried out inwardly, while simultaneously grinning from ear to ear:
"Baby!..." I let out an even bigger sigh. I heard Fang Renkai whisper in my ear:
"Xiaoqing, I love you! And I'll always remember today..." After saying that, he put the ring on my finger, kissed me, and pushed me towards the bed
.

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Yang Xiaoqing's Confession 10: First Time with Her Current Boyfriend

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