Funny Stories Between Husband and Wife (by He Feifan)

page views:1 Publication date:2023-09-18贺非凡

After the karaoke incident, that guy still tried to get close to my wife from time to time for a while after school started. One day, my wife came home and said that a colleague asked her if she had gone out with someone. My wife was shocked because, apart from my husband and me, only that guy knew about it. My wife denied it, but the colleague smiled mysteriously and asked if she had gone to karaoke with someone. My wife calmed down and told her not to believe everything she heard. She thought it was fortunate that he hadn't succeeded. For men, kissing and touching are two different things from penetration. I also agreed and told her to keep her distance as much as possible in the future. This guy is obviously not good at keeping secrets and even boasts about his experiences. I also have friends who have been to that gym, and it wouldn't be good if rumors spread.

A foreign couple, Canadian, moved into our neighborhood. I'd had a brief chat with them once, so we'd gotten to know each other a bit. A while ago, my wife said, "This Canadian guy's 'penis' is huge, it must be big." I was speechless, completely bewildered. She'd never been like this before. I continued, "What's wrong? You don't want to try it out, do you?" My wife giggled, "You naughty guy, you always take me to see Sino-foreign co-production videos, aren't you deliberately trying to entice me? Just like when you took me to see those threesomes, don't deny it." I retorted, "You like watching foreigners yourself. I'm trying my best to find them for you, but you don't like it and you always make a fuss." My wife persisted, "Then why do you insist on showing me foreign men and Asian women? It can't all be foreigners! You clearly have ulterior motives." I said, "...You really want to try this foreign stuff?" My wife said seriously, "I think we've explored enough, we can consider it, hahaha." I was exasperated. "Foreigners don't wear condoms! What if we end up with a baby? The hospital has abortion records, what if the abortion doesn't work? How do we explain it? Besides, can you stand their body odor?" My wife spat lightly, "Pah, I can't use contraception! If I get pregnant, I'll just have the baby. Baby babies are so much fun. As for the body odor, this foreigner seems alright, he's clean-shaven, unlike other foreigners who are unkempt. His wife has a big butt." I said irritably. Others can be passed off as genuine, but if a real doll appears, no one can save you... This big butt can handle it, but you might not be able to," my wife said smugly. "Do you dare let me try? A foreigner's penis is at most as thick as Xiao Geng's head, let's see if it can fill me up." She laughed again. "No way, I'm afraid you'll get addicted, stretch it too much. I'm fine as a mudfish in the ocean, but what if you lose interest?" My wife said in surprise, "Huh! Shouldn't you be the one afraid? What am I afraid of? There are so many men in the world, I can just eat the big ones from now on." I bit her ear and yelled, "Fine, I'm the one afraid, I don't want to be a mudfish in the ocean..."

I went back to my hometown for the weekend, and it just so happened that my wife's period was ending. She had just arrived back in our tiny apartment in Hefei when she was immediately subjected to some roughhousing. I told her she wasn't thinking things through, that she wasn't completely clean yet, and that she was already going through with it. My wife said it was over yesterday, and after enjoying a moment of peace after our lovemaking, she said, "Honey, Mom (my mother-in-law) said if I have a third child, she'll give me 200,000 yuan." My wife said seriously, and while I was squeezing her breasts, I said, "Have you thought this through? We agreed from the beginning that we didn't want a third child." My wife giggled, "The old lady will help take care of them. She'll even take out her own savings. I'll just go along with her wish." I kissed her lips. "Um, then..." "I'll start exercising now so I can take off condoms next month and try to conceive a baby," my wife said, puzzled. "Why are you taking off condoms?" she asked. "How can I get pregnant without condoms? Exercising is for healthier 'life essence'!" My wife suddenly smiled mischievously, a smile that looked utterly wicked. "Honey, think about it! If all three babies are yours, how boring would that be? So! Your 'life essence' should be contained in condoms, okay? I promise you three healthy babies!" Then she escaped my clutches, giggling as she ran to take a shower, leaving me bewildered and lying on the bed...

I'm truly impressed by this woman; she's getting more and more talkative! I never expected her to become so crazy and cool.

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Funny Stories Between Husband and Wife (by He Feifan)

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