I am a master

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-23

This miserable world, and me, a miserable loser, finally got my once-a-week weekend! I was so happy, I could play League of Legends again! But then these kids showed up, damn it, this is just awful! Eight consecutive losses! What does that even mean? I'm a pro, for goodness sake! These kids are amazing, they actually managed to reach this rank. My Diamond 2 rank plummeted, it's so "happy" to watch. I couldn't hold back my loser mentality any longer, I had to start venting. Finally, I played another game, and as soon as I entered matchmaking, some idiot immediately picked Teemo and said, "Hahaha!" I wanted to kill him. Was he trying to make me show off my trash-talking skills?!
I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Yuan Yun, I'm 18 years old, a true loser—loser, poor, and pathetic. Look at my crappy house! The only doors are the front door and the toilet; there aren't even any rooms. I don't know how I've survived this long. My grades are absolutely terrible. They even dumped me from the top science class and put me in the "balanced" class. This "balanced" class is awesome—science plus sports plus just coasting along. When I arrived, everyone welcomed me; it was like paradise for losers. But let's get back to the game. As soon as I entered, this guy with the million-dollar tag immediately grabbed the top lane. His ID is even more awesome: "sky丶Doraemon." You can tell he's a primary school student, or rather, a bro. "Damn, this Teemo even has a skin! This kid must have stolen his mom's money to buy it. As soon as I entered the game, I couldn't help but yell, 'Damn, who's playing this Teemo? This is ripping people off! 3000 combat power and they dare to play? And they even bought a damn skin, acting all high and mighty. It's obvious they're a noob. What kind of luck is this today? Eight consecutive losses, and they still get ripped off, even stealing their mom's money to buy a Teemo skin! Oh my god, what a tragedy!!!' Don't ask me why I can rant so much; it's something I've practiced. This isn't even my usual record. I can actually type and rant while farming minions, haha ...
"You're the one who stole money to buy it! This is my own money! I hired a booster! You bastard, you're the one who stole your mom's money to buy it!!!" This Teemo actually dared to flame me! He's practically asking for it! I'm the undisputed best flamer in our class! This Teemo is obviously a newbie; he hasn't even learned how to flame properly. I'm a pro! Pros all started as flamers! And then some idiot tries to smooth things over.
"Let's all give way a little. I'm just a booster, don't make things difficult for me. The point of the game is to participate, everyone, please stop arguing!" Damn
it, I hate these pretentious people the most! Talking like some rich, handsome guy, how can I tolerate this?!
"You think you're so great? Only 8000+ combat power and you're already offering to carry others? I'm the real pro, damn it!" This story teaches us never to mess with trolls. I 1v2 them and trolled them so badly they didn't dare say a word, hahaha. The game was obviously a crushing defeat. Luckily I didn't troll, otherwise I'd be too ashamed to troll. But then I regretted it. LoL gave me a gift: a 35-game ban! Waaaaah!!! I feel like dying, the more I think about it, the angrier I get!!!
Damn it, this guy with the million-dollar skin actually dared to add me as a friend! I'll just keep using it to vent my anger—
"Damn, do you even know how to play? You made me lose nine times in a row, what a rip-off! And you even used a cute ID, you're just a kid, I can tell at a glance. Don't try to pretend to be a girl and think people won't criticize you. You even dared to add me as a friend, you think you're so high and mighty just because you have a skin? I hate kids like you who steal their moms' money!"
"You're the kid! I'm not, I bought this with my own money, I'm a high school freshman!!!" He even sent an emoji, trying to pretend to be a girl, huh? I'll make you regret it!
"Look at your ID! Doraemon is a round ball without ears, are you fat and round-eared like that? Hahaha!!!"
"No, no, I'm not! You're the bad guy, the big jerk! Waaaaah, you're the fat-headed, round-eared one! I'm not a primary school student!!!"
"Damn it, you transvestite, stop pretending to be a girl! It's disgusting! And you're trying to act cute! Help me~~~"
"I really am a girl! I'm not a transvestite, you are! I'm not, I'm not!!!" What?! The more I think about it, the stranger it gets. Why do I also feel like she's a girl? Why am I so pathetic? I finally met a girl and I'm still going on and on about her. Looks like I'm destined to be a pathetic person forever, waaaaah—
"Sorry, I lost too much and I'm in a bad mood. Sorry, I thought you were a primary school student and a transvestite, hehe!" I really don't know how to talk to girls. Thinking about it, I haven't talked to many girls in my life. Yes, it's normal that I don't know how to communicate with girls, haha ...
"Hmph, now you know you were wrong, but actually I didn't mean to make you lose. I'm sorry, that guy said he guaranteed a win, and I believed him. Who knew he was lying? Waaah..." I'm
speechless. How can this girl be so easily fooled? Will she sleep with me after a few tries? I can masturbate again tonight... Wait, what if she's ugly? If I masturbate to an ugly girl, I'm doomed...
"Why did you hire a booster?"
"I keep losing. I've been playing for a long time and I only have 3000+ combat power. I'm so unhappy, so I hired someone to boost me~~~~!!!" This girl is quite cute. I wish she were a beauty. I heard boosters are rich, and game boosters are even richer. It would be great if I could be their game booster—
"I'm much better than that guy you were boosting. Why didn't you hire me? You saw my skills just now. Do you want to hire me? Quality guaranteed!!!"
"Are you a scammer?"
"Damn, I'm not a scammer! Where are you from? What's your QQ number? I'll prove it to you." If this deal goes through, I can finally get a new phone! Just thinking about it makes me happy!
One minute later…
"I added you. Do you need a game booster? Where are you from?"
"I'm from Xinhui. What about you?" Oh my god, is God really trying to give me a girl?
"Me too! I'm from Xinhui too!!!"
"What a coincidence! How about we meet this afternoon? You can say whatever you want, but if you're a scammer, that'll be terrible." Aren't you afraid I'm a pervert? We're actually meeting up!
But this girl is really pretty; the photos in her album make me want to masturbate.
Without hesitation, since the girl had a date, I immediately agreed, "Okay, you name the place."
"How about the park behind Country Garden? It's close to home, so even if you're a bad guy, I'm not afraid. By the way
, how old are you?" What?! That place is full of villas! Could she really be a rich and beautiful woman? If only I could kiss her, that would be so great! My malevolent heart can't take this.
"I'm 18… What time should we meet?" "
1:30, are you really not a bad guy?" Damn, besides being a little creepy, how do I look like a bad guy?
"Then why don't you bring a few thugs? If they find out I'm a liar or a bad guy, they can beat me up. You wouldn't believe me anyway. I'll wait for you at 1:30."
This girl is so cute! Could she be a cute girl? I wish I could have a girlfriend!!!
"I believe you, but don't lie to me, okay? I'm going to eat now, I'll be there at 1:30!" I'm going to meet a beautiful girl! I'm so happy and excited!!!
"Okay, it's 1:30. I'll wait for you at the park. What's your name?"
"My name is Ya Yi, and yours is...?" That's such a sweet name, and you're so pretty, a goddess!!!
"Um... my name is Yuan Yun." Looks like her name is pretty sweet too. Beautiful girls always have such charming and sweet names.
"By the way, what's your phone number?" This girl is promising.
a) Likes me
2) Wants to know if I'm a transvestite
c) Wants to find my location and get revenge for being insulted earlier after getting my number
d) I was just making it up.
"My phone number is ***********, what's yours?"
"I won't tell you, you'll find out this afternoon. Just wait for me." Okay, I'm completely powerless against beautiful women. I really want to hear her captivating voice. I'm so excited! Beautiful lady, let's go right now.
I grabbed my clothes and food from the room, too lazy to even eat. I quickly went to take a shower. This felt like the longest shower I've ever taken in my life. I wanted to avoid being looked down upon by the beautiful woman. The more I thought about it, the happier I got. In the end, I showered for over an hour! Damn, how could I be so silly? There's no morning on holidays, and it was almost 1 PM. I wanted to slap myself. Do I always have to be late for the first time meeting a beautiful woman? The internet says you have to arrive before her, then she'll ask, "Have you been waiting for me for a long time? I'm sorry." Of course, you have to reply, "It wasn't long, only half an hour. It's okay, it's my honor to wait for you, beautiful lady!!!" Then things can develop from there, mwah! Just thinking about it makes me happy.
Oh no, how could I still be spacing out like this? I'm going to be late! I quickly got dressed, went downstairs to the street, and even though I was willing to spend 5 yuan on a motorcycle taxi for the girls' ball game, it hurt so much… After what seemed like a few minutes, I finally arrived. I took out my cheap, domestically made phone to check the time. Thankfully, it was only 1:23, and the girl hadn't arrived yet. I thought I'd sit down and meditate for a bit. But as soon as I sat down, I couldn't shake off my drowsy state. I started dozing off, one beat at a time, until my phone rang five times. It was an unknown number; it must be that girl. It was exactly 1:30. Looks like I only did seven minutes of meditation—I've made progress.
"Hello, who is it?" I wanted to slap myself. Didn't I plan to call like a rich and handsome guy? Why did I switch to a loser's mode?
"It's me from the game, are you there yet? I'm over by the slide." That sweet voice melted my heart...
I looked over, but why is she so different from the photo? She's become a complete freak! Damn it, a million alpacas are stampeding through my head! This is ridiculous...

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