Here are some thoughts on why it's so hard to get a date these days. It's a bit long! I suggest those who don't have the patience to read it carefully don't click to open it!

page views:1 Publication date:2023-09-17调情师

As we all know, it's really hard to get people to join our social circles these days. Over the past few years, I've added 160 friends, but I've only successfully arranged events with them five times. Of those, I met three friends in person, we were mutually satisfied, and we've stayed in touch, but we haven't found a suitable opportunity to meet. I've summarized a few points for your consideration.
1. Everyone has their own life and won't be online often. Sometimes they're only online for short periods of time, and even if they want to chat, they don't have enough time for in-depth communication. So it's normal for couples to have a low response rate. Single men need to adjust their mindset.
2. The emotions involved in these activities are often sudden. People want to meet up right now, but it's almost impossible to find a suitable single man or couple on short notice. After many unsuccessful attempts, the expectations and desires for these activities gradually decrease, and people become too lazy to communicate anymore. So, gradually, many couples either leave the scene or, although they are still in the scene, they no longer have any hope of meeting up. There is no greater sorrow than the feeling of being heartbroken.
3. Timing clashes: There will always be a mismatch in schedules. Work hours and busy months vary drastically across different industries, and everyone has their own commitments. Furthermore, emotions, once they arise, have a very short shelf life—perhaps only about an hour. Finding the right person in such a short time is extremely difficult. Even with advance arrangements, many unforeseen circumstances can arise. Therefore, having several long-term, stable friends is crucial. It's advisable to build a network in advance, and both single men and couples should proactively maintain these relationships.
4. Don't be too subjective in assuming the person isn't suitable. I've seen many couples' posts or blogs where they emotionally express that some clients are rude and inconsiderate, immediately trying to do things their way up. But some couples also say that some clients are long-winded, asking all sorts of questions and just talking nonsense.
These viewpoints are all valid. However, I believe there's another aspect: the communication styles between single men and couples evolve with increased and varied communication. When summarizing their experiences, some single men are easily misled by common needs of couples, mistakenly assuming that everyone now prefers directness or other styles. Therefore, misusing the right approach is a frequent occurrence. It can be very simple: briefly introduce your location, age, height, weight, interests, hobbies, and a general description of your work, then wait for a reply. You're not a banknote; don't expect everyone to like you. Just like submitting a resume, not everyone will be hired. But if it's not a good fit, I suggest couples politely and decisively decline directly. Don't remain silent and leave people guessing, only to have the single man leave comments saying the other person is tactless and bothering him.
5. I think the most economical way is not to chat in detail online, but to meet up quickly. Everyone knows the saying "meeting in person is a disaster." Online doesn't represent reality. A year of chatting is not as good as ten minutes of meeting in person. So get to know each other briefly, have a voice chat, and you can meet up. The first meeting is the first step to getting to know each other. Single men shouldn't overthink it. Be patient. I've succeeded twice this way.
6. Many single men don't cultivate relationships long-term. Relationships need maintenance, and these things require a certain level of sensitivity. Being too unfamiliar can really affect the experience for both parties. Get to know each other slowly. Don't start flirting right away, and don't flirt every day. It will make people feel disgusted and annoyed. Talking so much flirting won't change or solve any real problems.
7. Don't inquire too much about real-life information and don't interfere with your normal life. That kind of close friendship is something that can only happen after multiple dates. Before that, maintain a proper distance.
8. A small gift is fine, even one costing a hundred or so is acceptable, it's the thought that counts. It's best to bring one on the first meeting. This isn't a transaction, and you don't have to expect something in return for your efforts. Keep a calm mindset. If you feel that spending too much money is inappropriate, spend more time thinking about the thoughtfulness of the gift.
9. Some couples charge fees, which I understand and accept but don't support. Too many individuals treat this as a transaction. Since it's seen as a transaction, they'll psychologically weigh the value they're demanding, which distorts the meaning. This will lead to differences in the individual's behavior and the content of the activity, making it difficult to guarantee that the final experience will meet both parties' expectations. This issue is actually difficult to reconcile. I suggest couples tactfully suggest accepting gifts, but not directly accepting money, while the individual should proactively cover the activity costs. Additionally, if a meeting involves high expenses but ultimately doesn't happen, I suggest couples proactively suggest splitting the bill , or even mentioning it beforehand. This can lead to unexpected surprises! Actually, nobody really needs a few extra dollars, but I believe it's a matter of politeness and good manners. Whether the individual accepts splitting the bill is another matter.
10. It's harder for couples to meet up with each other than for singles. All four people need to be compatible, and you can imagine how low the probability is. It's recommended to meet up with singles first. A good single person knows and has met up with many couples. Ask them to recommend someone. They will take the initiative to consider the compatibility of each party and won't recommend someone who isn't suitable. After all, a single man who can get a couple to ask for a recommendation is basically a very familiar friend.
11. Regarding distance, cherish every friend you meet who is close to you, as it will save you a lot of time later. For those who are too far away, it is advisable to directly decline based on your own circumstances.
12. Regarding the third point about time matching, couples actually have more freedom in their time. Many couples I've added want to find single men over 30 , feeling that younger men lack something. However, most of these single men over 30 are married, and their wives probably don't know, making their time quite tight. If both parties are satisfied, when the couple is aroused, they can actually take the initiative to go to the single man's location to reduce the time wasted by distance. This approach has a very high success rate. Sending your wife to his home won't make you look bad; on the contrary, it will earn you a lot of gratitude from the single man. Couples might not understand that kind of understanding. As for the travel expenses, the single man should remember to offer to reimburse them. Whether the couple accepts that is another story.
13. Both parties must communicate their sexual preferences before the first meeting, whether by text, voice, or face-to-face. They should discuss what is permissible and impermissible, what they want the other to do, and the appropriate level of intimacy. This communication is essential to avoid affecting the experience. Do not discuss these matters during the activity.
14. Physical examination is very important. There are test strips online. Just take the test in person. Don't overthink it. Friends who are easily insulted are advised to leave the circle as soon as possible. Whether you are a single man or a couple, stick to the facts and don't bring up personality and morality. If it's not suitable, then goodbye. Maintain your manners and quality.

I wrote this in bits and pieces over the course of the night, so the logic isn't very smooth. Everyone has their own opinion, and if you have any other questions, feel free to share your views. Please refrain from personal attacks and insults. Sincerity and equality are the most important qualities in making friends. Standing too high on your own will only lead to isolation. If anything I've said is inaccurate, please feel free to correct me. Let's exchange ideas and verify each other's points.
I wish everyone could meet the right friends soon and find a new passion for life in the midst of hardship!

Finally, let me give myself a shout-out.
32 -year-old married single man, 167cm tall, 130kg , experienced e-commerce professional. Can last 15 minutes , best performance is 25 minutes for the first time and 35 minutes for the second . Three years into the industry, five sessions. Has one couple as long-term friends after meeting them, and three other couples I've met but haven't met but remain friends with. I describe myself as a good conversationalist, tactful, and not easily offended. The downside is that I'm incredibly short on time; I need to be home by midnight at the latest . Interested parties can leave a message, and I'll add you when I see it.
Please don't add me if you're also a single guy. I don't really want to chat. Please understand!

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Here are some thoughts on why it's so hard to get a date these days. It's a bit long! I suggest those who don't have the patience to read it carefully don't click to open it!

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