[The unexpected upsets of the River God and the Old Man of the Frontier]

page views:1 Publication date:2023-06-10 01:27:54

1. One day, my best friend and I went on a picnic. My friend accidentally slipped into the river. The river god rose from the water and asked, "Did you drop this Gao Yuanyuan?"

I shook my head. The river god asked again, "Did you drop this Liu Yan?" I shook my head again.

"You're very honest, you can have both of them," the river god said, giving me both. I was so happy I woke up.

2. One day, Daniel Wu and his girlfriend went on a picnic. Daniel Wu accidentally slipped into the river. The river god rose from the water and asked, "Did you drop this Baoqiang?"

His girlfriend shook her head. The river god asked again, "Did you drop this Huang Bo?"

His girlfriend shook her head again. "You're very honest, you can have both of them," the river god said, sinking to the bottom and never appearing again.

3. An old man lost his white horse. His neighbors came to comfort him. The old man said, "This isn't a bad thing, is it?" Sure enough, the next day, the white horse returned, carrying Tang Sanzang. So everyone ate Tang Sanzang. The neighbors congratulated the old man again. The old man said, "This might not be a good thing!" On the third day, a monkey came to the house…

4. Xiaoming's father fell into the river while crossing it, and Xiaoming sat by the riverbank crying. The river god rose from the water and took out a Kim Jong-il statue: Little friend, is this your father? Xiaoming cried and said: No. The river god then took out a Li Gang statue: Little friend, is this your father? Xiaoming cried and said: No. The river god smiled and said: You are a truly honest child, then I am relieved. The fee for retrieving the body is 30,000, and the fine is 50,000.

5. When you are sad, eat something, because the stomach and the heart are very close. When you are full, the warm stomach will crowd the heart, so you won't feel lonely.

6. I feel that the stomach is the most wronged part of the body. Sometimes it is empty for too long, sometimes it is filled too full, sometimes it is given too cold food, sometimes it is stuffed with too many different kinds of food. When it gets itchy, it is always pinched and teased. When it gets cruel, it keeps turning over and over to exercise the abdominal muscles. Even if your stomach rumbles in distress, it gets immediately covered up as if it's embarrassing you. I really don't understand what my stomach did wrong to deserve this kind of torment.

7. Today a friend asked me, "Do you know what it feels like to be powerless?"

I was taken aback and asked back, "What does it feel like?"

He said, "It's like when you have something stuck between your teeth, your tongue knows where it is, but your hand can't get it out."

8. Once upon a time, a young man arrived at a ferry crossing and saw a boat about to board. The boatman stopped him and said, "You're carrying too many burdens. If you want to board, you must discard one. You have six burdens: water, inorganic salts, protein, carbohydrates, fat, and vitamins." The young man thought for a moment, pushed the boatman off the boat, and rowed to the other side himself.

9. A pretty junior female student came to the lab. I struck up a conversation and asked, "What's your surname?"

She said, "No need for formalities, my surname is Pan."

I happily said, "We were one family eight hundred years ago! My surname is Wu!" "

Then, my junior sister lowered her head, blushed, and left, never speaking to me again..."

10. A young man was drinking at a bar when a woman suddenly clung to him in a very flirtatious manner. The young man asked, "Hey girl, what are you doing?"

The woman replied, "Doing what you guys want to do!"

The young man exclaimed, "Wow, girl, I didn't know you were so quiet but can play Dota?"

11. Nowadays, rich people take their girlfriends to the mall and just wave their hands and say, "Go ahead, baby, take whatever you want!"

Actually, I used to be that bold too—I often took my girlfriend to the mall and just waved my hand and said, "Go ahead, baby, take whatever you want! ...Be careful not to get caught!" 12.

A woman wanted to break up with a man. The man said, "If you can break free from my hand, we can break up!"

The woman tried for a long time without success, then said, "You're hurting me."

Upon hearing this, the man immediately let go, saying, "How could I bear to hurt you if I love you?"

The woman wanted to reconcile, saying, "Let's not break up."

"But I've already let go."

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[The unexpected upsets of the River God and the Old Man of the Frontier]

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