I picked up a wife

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My name is Li Datou, and I'm known as the poorest man in our village.
I'm not lucky; my parents died early and didn't leave me much money. From a young age, I was considered unlucky, surviving by eating and drinking at the homes of several poor relatives in different villages.
However, the few acres of land my parents left behind were blatantly seized by them.
As I grew up, I had no land, no business, and no one to pass on any skills to me. All I had was the dilapidated little house my parents left behind, which hadn't been repaired for years, to shelter me. I made a living by doing odd jobs, barely scraping by.
In the eyes of the villagers, I was a good-for-nothing. Families with daughters all told their daughters to stay away from me and not talk to me.
Actually, I'm already twenty-five or twenty-six. With my shabby appearance, unkempt beard, and filthy, tattered robe, what young lady would ever fancy me? I'm just going to live one day at a time, destined to be a bachelor to the end. If the King of Hell ever calls me, I hope some kind soul in the village will just dig a hole and bury me—that would be a great act of kindness. I just hope I won't be bitten by wild dogs after I die.
But I never expected that I would actually marry a wife.
The other day, the old landlord Li had a son late in life, and he was overjoyed. Anyone who went to his house and said a few auspicious words would be rewarded with a big bowl of meat soup noodles. How could I miss such a good thing? I said more than a dozen words praising young Master Li, which made the old man Li beam with joy. He not only rewarded me with a bowl of noodles but also gave me several potato dumplings that had been introduced from the West. It's freezing outside today, and I haven't found any work. I'm broke, so it looks like I'll have to roast those potato chunks to fill my stomach. No
sooner said than done, I'll get to work; the sooner I finish, the sooner I can eat.
My little shack is completely empty except for me, a poor man. There's not even firewood. Luckily, I'm still strong enough, and there are plenty of trees on the hill behind the house. I still have the axe I borrowed from Old Wang next door. It seems I'll have to brave the cold and go up the
mountain to gather some firewood, carry some back to the village to sell, and keep the rest for myself. I was cold and hungry, wearing tattered, drafty shoes and a thin, tattered robe, and went up the hill alone. The north wind was blowing fiercely; the exposed skin on my face was almost being blown off. But as I walked, the wind gradually subsided, and the weather warmed up. What happened?
I scratched my head, completely baffled. Looking up, I exclaimed, "My goodness!"
A huge, dark hole had appeared in the otherwise gray sky, with sparks and flashes of electricity shooting out from within. Terrified, I thought the sky was collapsing, or some great demon was about to be unleashed. I immediately knelt down and kowtowed repeatedly. "Heavens above! Jade Emperor, Buddha, Guanyin Bodhisattva! I've never done anything wrong, please save me!"
Just as I was kowtowing, a deafening boom resounded. "Oh no! I'm doomed!"
I clutched my head and collapsed to the ground.
After a short while, I touched my head, checked my hands and feet—everything was there, and I felt perfectly fine. I just noticed the weather had turned cold again, and the north wind was blowing harder. The dark hole in the sky was nowhere to be seen. I shivered and scrambled to my feet.
What a strange thing! But I quickly put aside my confusion; gathering firewood was the priority.
I walked into a forest, ready to chop firewood with my axe, when I saw a large clump of fallen trees beside me, all looking somewhat charred from fire. "Hey, lucky me, I can take so many trees back without even cutting them down."
Just as I finished speaking, a flash of white light appeared, followed by a strange sound, like someone talking inside a water tank. "Teleportation pod location: Ming Dynasty, successful teleportation, personnel inside failed teleportation, no signs of life."
I still can't figure out how I was so bold as to follow the sound. Deep in the forest, I saw a large white iron ball, as big as a restaurant.
I walked over and touched it; it was so smooth and warm.
"Target detected.
Beep, beep, beep."
Just as I was about to escape, I was sucked into the iron ball, and then, like sinking into water, I smoothly entered its interior.
It was quite spacious and very bright inside; I could see directly outside, as if the iron ball was transparent.
"Activate Bio-Artificial Human No. 1."
Another voice came from inside the iron sphere.
Then, a transparent crystal coffin appeared standing in the center of the large iron sphere. It seemed like a woman was standing inside, but for some reason, I couldn't see her clearly.
"Charge."
Countless colorful rays of light shot towards the woman from all around the large iron sphere. It was so bright that I couldn't open my eyes.
Then the strange voice rang out again, "Simulation of Ming Dynasty humans successful. Inputting anthropomorphic consciousness."
When I opened my eyes, good heavens! I could see clearly—a fairy had descended to earth standing in that coffin! I took two steps forward and stood before the fairy. "Her oval face is so fair, and that silk dress must be incredibly expensive. Her hands are so delicate, and she's so tall, almost as tall as me!"
Just as I was admiring her, the crystal coffin suddenly opened, and the fairy inside slowly opened her eyes, staring at me. I couldn't help but feel nervous. I didn't know if this woman was a celestial being or a mountain spirit. Now that she was awake, what should I do? I broke out in a cold sweat.
Suddenly, I realized I couldn't just stand there staring at her like that. No matter what, I had to kowtow to her first. I couldn't afford to offend either immortals or demons.
Just as I was about to kneel down, the young woman spoke.
"Husband, why are you staring at me like that?"
I turned around, but there was no one behind me. Was she talking to me?
Seeing my bewildered expression, the young woman smiled and said, "Husband, what's wrong? Don't you even recognize your wife? I'm your wife, Yiyi."
Now I was completely confused. When did I get a wife?
The young woman stepped out of the crystal coffin and, seeing me still standing there dumbfounded, took my hand. "Husband, let's go home. This place is deserted and scary."
I was a little dizzy. "We're in an iron ball now, how are we going to get back?"
Just as I finished speaking, I suddenly realized there was no iron ball at all. The young woman and I were standing in the woods, and even the crystal coffin was gone. This was truly bizarre. It seems I've either encountered a fairy or a ghost. But this young woman is so beautiful, she must be a fairy.
"Great Immortal, I'm just a poor villager with no money. Please don't tease me. How could I be worthy to be your husband?"
"Husband, you're speaking so strangely today, and you brought me into this forest. Do you not want me anymore? My life is so bitter. Waaah...waaah...waaah..."
As she spoke, the young woman began to cry.
Seeing this beautiful young woman crying with tears streaming down her face, I was at a loss. "Young lady, how about I take you down the mountain first, and then send you home?"
"Husband, how can you be so heartless? My family is long gone. I can only rely on you for survival. You know this. Now that you don't want me, just let me die. Waaah...waaah...waaah..." "What ...
what should I do?"
I was at a loss. Maybe I should take this young woman back first; leaving her on the mountain isn't a solution.
"Then come back with me."
"Yes, my husband. I'll help you gather firewood."
"No, you're so delicate; you shouldn't do such rough work."
As I spoke, I hastily gathered some firewood from the ground and headed down the mountain, the young woman following me the whole way.
By the time we arrived home, the sun was almost directly overhead. Along the way, the young woman walked quite briskly; if she weren't following me, she probably could have walked the mountain path faster than I could.
"Great Immortal, this is my home. As you can see, it's extremely poor. I really can't afford to support such a great bodhisattva as you."
"It's alright. As long as you don't mind my ugliness and lack of virtue, what have I to complain about? Also, please don't call me 'Great Immortal' anymore. I can't accept that title. Just call me by my childhood nickname, Yiyi, as before."
"Gurgle, gurgle."
My stomach rumbled uncontrollably; I hadn't eaten for almost a day, no wonder.
"Then please, Great Immortal. Oh, Yiyi, please sit here for a moment, I'll go make some food." As soon as I called her "Great Immortal,"
the young woman looked like she was about to cry; it seemed I had no choice but to comply.
"Husband, you're wrong again. This is simply my duty. Please rest for a moment, I'll go and make it for you."
She went to the kitchen and tidied up for a while, then seemed troubled, realizing we didn't even have cooking oil.
"Shouzhong, why haven't you bought any rice?"
Goodness, my father's name for me, Shouzhong, hasn't been used in years. Now everyone calls me Big Head, and I've almost forgotten my name is Shouzhong. How did she know? She must be a celestial being.
"If we don't have any money, how about we sell this dress first? Later, when you've earned enough, you can buy Yiyi a new one, okay?"
I didn't see any disdain in Yiyi's eyes. She spoke to her husband of many years as if he were her own. Could it be that I've forgotten I have such a wife? But that's impossible, given my circumstances... sigh.
Seeing that I didn't object, Yiyi went into the inner room, and I followed her in. "Yiyi, my room is very messy, you..."
I watched as Yiyi, with her back to me, slowly took off her outer clothes, then bent down and took off her matching skirt. I had never seen anything like this before, and my usually useless penis immediately became erect. Yiyi handed me the silk outer garment she had taken off; now she was only wearing a white silk undergarment.
"How can this be?"
"Husband, it's alright. Use the money from selling it to buy some rice and vegetables for household expenses, and the rest can be used to buy me a set of cloth clothes."
Yiyi said calmly. I, who had never been cared for before, suddenly felt a touch of emotion. At that moment, I actually felt that Yiyi was my wife. I didn't care about immortals or demons anymore.
I hugged Yiyi tightly. "My wife, it's all my fault. With you as my wife, I'd be happy even if I died right now."
Yiyi's face was calm as she stretched out her arms and hugged me back. "Husband, don't say that. We have a long life ahead of us, and things will get better."
When had I ever hugged a woman before? This hug made me feel two soft mounds of flesh pressing against my chest. This is what women are like, hehe. I was suddenly overcome by a wicked impulse. I picked Yiyi up and slowly placed her on the bed, my two big hands reaching for her breasts. So firm, so big and round, they must be even more beautiful inside. I was eager to take off her white clothes, but I couldn't untie them no matter what I did. Yiyi looked at me, as if encouraging me. I saw her pull on the buttons, and the clothes opened, revealing a pink bodice underneath. This time, I reached behind Yiyi and pulled, and the bodice came loose.
A pair of snow-white, pink breasts appeared before my eyes. The nipples weren't large, about the size of small, unripe soybeans, with pink areolas around them. When I touched them, the breasts trembled. I took one breast into my mouth and sucked several times, then used the tip of my tongue to push the nipple in and lick it vigorously. I watched as Yiyi's nipples slowly hardened and enlarged.
Next, I unbuckled Yiyi's belt. After Yiyi lifted herself slightly, I pulled down her white pants. Yiyi was now completely naked except for a pair of cloth socks on her feet. I had never seen a woman's body before; this was truly an eye-opener. At the base of her long, white thighs, there was a fleshy slit with a few short, almost hair-like hairs growing on it. After spreading her legs, I could see two labia at the lower part of the slit, with a pinkish opening in the middle. Could this be a woman's...thing?
"Husband, come here, give it to me."
Yiyi took the initiative to help me take off my clothes, her delicate little hands grasping my penis. I could even smell the stench emanating from her, a stench that even her own fragrance couldn't mask. It made me really embarrassed. But Yiyi didn't seem to mind at all. She sat up, lowered her head, and took my penis into her mouth, her tongue constantly licking the head of my penis, which was almost as hard as an iron rod. After a while, Yiyi lay down, opened her legs, and guided my penis to her vulva.
I didn't understand anything, I just felt my penis being guided by Yiyi's hand and pushed into a wet, fleshy hole. The layers of flesh inside squeezed my penis against the wall. Yiyi held my buttocks, pushing and pulling, making me thrust in and out. This feeling was something even a god wouldn't trade. So this is what it's like to be with a woman. I've been living in vain all these years. Just as I was straining, I suddenly felt a jolt below, and a tremendous pleasure filled my entire body. I felt something shooting out of my penis. After ejaculating, my penis slowly softened, and when I pulled it out, white fluid flowed from her vagina.
I covered Yiyi with a thin blanket, then put on my clothes, grabbed the clothes I wanted to sell, and went out. Before leaving, I told Yiyi to stay in bed and wait for me to come back.
Yiyi's clothes were indeed valuable; the pawnshop gave me 10 taels of silver. I bought various household items, rice, meat, fruits, and vegetables, and also bought two sets of cloth skirts for Yiyi. In the end, I still had 7 taels of silver left.
When I got home, I ran into Old Wang from next door at the door. "Big Head, I came to your house to get my axe, but you weren't home. When did you get married, you little rascal? You've been hiding it at home without
telling the neighbors. You have to make up for this meal." After seeing Old Wang off, I went straight home. Yiyi was still in bed. We never lock our doors, and Yiyi wasn't dressed. I wondered if Old Wang had done anything to her.
"Yiyi, did Old Wang from next door do anything to you when he came over? Tell me, if he did, I'll fight him right now."
Yiyi's face was slightly flushed. Seeing that I had bought clothes, she crawled out of bed and changed. "Old Wang is a nice guy. He came to get his axe, we chatted for a bit, and he said he'd give it to us. I'm fine, husband."
After saying that, Yiyi took the bag from my hand and went to the kitchen.
I only relaxed when I heard everything was alright. A thought flashed through my mind: I wouldn't let Yiyi suffer anymore. Tomorrow I'll go out and find some work. Old Zhang, the horse driver at the village entrance, is recruiting apprentices; maybe I should learn from him. If I learn well, I can earn several dozen taels of silver a year. Then my family can live a better life. Then another thought crossed my mind: Yiyi looked so beautiful when she crawled out of bed just now—long legs, a slender waist, and big breasts. I'll enjoy her every day from now on. She's also virtuous and gentle; it seems my good deeds in my past life have finally paid off. But I think I saw a handprint on Yiyi's bottom just now. Could it be from at noon? I don't think so.
Yiyi's cooking is good; I almost licked the bowl clean after dinner. That night, Yiyi and I made love all night long, and the next day I felt completely refreshed. Without realizing it, I already felt like Yiyi was the wife I'd been married to for a long time.
"Yiyi, I'm going out to find work. If you're hungry at home, cook something for yourself. There are seven taels left from selling clothes yesterday, so I'll leave them here. I'm leaving now."
After seeing me off, Yiyi went inside. Although she had changed into a cloth skirt today, she still looked different from the old women in the village who wore cloth skirts. Her aloof and arrogant demeanor gave her a superior air. Thinking of this, I remembered how I had pinned Yiyi down last night and fucked her with my penis until she kept moaning and begging for mercy, and I felt an indescribable sense of pride.
I went to Old Zhang's place and presented the apprenticeship gift I bought yesterday. Old Zhang saw that I was strong and honest, so he accepted me as his apprentice. I must learn and work hard so that I can be worthy of my wife at home. Hehehehe, I have a wife now! I have a wife now! She's a goddess descended from heaven! Hahaha.
At night, I returned home and saw the lights on, food laid out on the table, and Yiyi sitting at the table waiting for me.
"Wife, you've worked hard."
I grabbed Yiyi's hand. "Having you feels like a dream."
Yiyi smiled at me. "Husband, this is what I should do. Besides, you are still childless. It's all my fault. I hope you will forgive me."
I chuckled to myself. We just made love yesterday, and today we're talking about having a baby? How can it be so fast? Having a baby? Haha, I can be a father! How wonderful! "Wife, there's no rush to have a baby. As long as we make love often, the baby will come sooner or later."
But upon hearing this, Yiyi lowered her head.
After we finished eating, Yiyi cleared the table, and I casually asked why we had so many candles today, since we never usually have any. "My husband came home late today," she replied. "Old Wang from next door came over for a visit. He saw that I had finished cooking but you weren't home yet, so he lent us his candles. My husband's neighbors are really kind people."
I thought to myself, "Old Wang has always been a stingy man. When did he change his ways? It's really strange."
Gradually, word spread that I had married a beautiful wife. People of all ages from the neighborhood would come to visit Yiyi, and she always treated them with courtesy. Perhaps Yiyi was a lucky charm for her husband, because our family's life gradually improved. Once, I even saw the wealthy Mr. Li come to visit Yiyi and leave a lot of money, saying I was very fortunate and that I shouldn't mistreat Yiyi. Of course, I would treat my own wife well; he didn't need to remind me.
Winter passed just like that, and I celebrated my first Spring Festival with my own family, enjoying a delicious New Year's Eve dinner. Yiyi's belly was also showing signs of pregnancy, growing bigger day by day. I couldn't help but care for and cherish Yiyi even more. I would finish all the housework before leaving the house each day. Fortunately, Yiyi had become familiar with Old Wang next door, and he was always there to help whenever she needed it. The neighbors in the area were the same; most were willing to help Yiyi whenever she asked. I felt that this was because Yiyi was a good person, so everyone loved to help her. Back in my day, if I had any problems, not a single person would be willing to help.
In the autumn, Yiyi was full-term and ready to give birth. Old Li, the wealthy man, actually hired the best midwife in the area to help Yiyi deliver the baby. After my son was born, Old Li was beaming with joy, and Old Wang next door was also overjoyed.
I went to Yiyi's bedside, held up my son to show her, and said, "Yiyi, look, this is our son. Look how strong he is!"
Yiyi looked at the baby, her eyes filled with longing. She looked at me, then at the baby, and tears welled up in her eyes. This wouldn't do. Such a joyous occasion, why was she crying? I kept trying to make Yiyi laugh, but she couldn't stop crying. I didn't know what to do.
After the baby's one-month celebration, I was a little drunk. When I returned to my room, Yiyi was nowhere to be found. There was a piece of paper on the table. I picked it up and read, "My husband, I'm sorry, our earthly bond is broken. Our son is the reincarnation of the celestial star Po Jun. You must take good care of him, treat him as you would treat me. Name him Hongji; he will surely achieve great things in the future. When you miss me, come to the place where we first met. I will be watching over you from another world."
"Li Hongji, Li Hongji, my wife!"
Tears streamed down my face as I ran up the mountain behind the house, clutching the baby.
As soon as I reached the top, I saw the giant iron ball floating in mid-air, and the black hole I had seen before reappeared in the sky. This time, I wasn't afraid at all. "My wife, my wife, I can't bear to leave you, my wife. Please don't go, my wife!"
I cried and screamed until my throat was hoarse, but the giant iron ball still flew into the black hole and disappeared in the blink of an eye. A bright moon hung in the sky again, illuminating the ground.
I knelt on the ground, holding the baby, my eyes brimming with tears, unable to open them. When I finally did, I saw a pair of feet before me, and it was as if I had seen the most beautiful thing in the world.
"Wife, thank goodness, you didn't leave!"
I hugged Yiyi tightly.
"Husband, I should have left, but I'm forcing myself to stay here. My energy can only sustain me for 10 years; after 10 years, I will die,"
Yiyi said with a smile.
Hearing that Yiyi had even given up her immortality for me and the baby, and that she could only live for 10 years, I immediately knelt before her. "I'm so sorry, wife, you must leave now, is it too late? I can't hurt you like this."
Yiyi quickly helped me up.
"It's too late, my husband, we can't go back. Let's try to live our lives well."
I wiped away my tears, raised my head, glanced at my wife dressed in simple clothes, straightened my back, and vowed to make sure my wife, Yiyi, lived happily for the next 10 years. If my wife was no longer here after 10 years, I would go with her, whether in the earth or in heaven, I would be with her.
Holding the baby in one arm and Yiyi in the other, I walked resolutely home.
On the other side of time and space, one voice said, "What good luck! All the agents were wiped out, and the androids even managed to fix the time-space distortion. I didn't expect Li Shouzhong to be infertile. Luckily, android number one was resourceful and had someone, either Old Wang or Li the Rich, father Li Shouzhong's offspring, correcting the timeline again. It's a pity the android developed feelings for its target and stayed in that timeline; I wonder what the consequences will be."
Another voice said, "Don't think too much about it. If anything happens, the higher-ups will send people over. As for Li Zicheng, because of the genetic improvements from the androids, it's reasonable for him to become incredibly strong in the future."
"Let's go have a couple of drinks. This matter is settled..."

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