I am not a voyeur.

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-23

I first saw Shanshan through the binoculars.
Actually, I'm not a voyeur; I just bought a pair of binoculars that day, intending to use them at the horse farm the next day. When you buy something new, you're naturally eager to try it out. And of course, I wouldn't use the binoculars to look at things around my house, but to look into the distance.
There's a large building across from my place, quite far away. With the naked eye, you can only see which houses have lights on and which don't, and you can't see if anyone is walking around. But with the binoculars, you can see them.
I sat in the living room looking through the binoculars, window by window, and suddenly I saw Shanshan. At the time, I didn't know who she was, and of course, I didn't know her name.
I just saw a petite, beautiful naked woman jumping around.
She wasn't completely naked; she was only wearing a thin, pale yellow pair of panties. I immediately ran over and turned off the light to prevent her from seeing me watching her—actually, it was unnecessary, just an unconscious reaction.
But watching in the dark always makes you feel safer.
I wondered why she was jumping around, and after watching for a while, I realized she was doing aerobics on the carpet.
Right, it's the most popular exercise these days.
Although I had already seen a lot, I still felt it wasn't enough, because she was still wearing a pair of briefs. Although these briefs were semi-transparent, and I could even see only a tiny patch of her pubic hair, with such vigorous movements, without that small piece of fabric covering her…
she clearly thought no one would be watching her, which is why she wasn't even wearing sportswear.
But why was she still wearing briefs? It's because she's a woman, and women wear even transparent briefs because they often have some secretions, and it would be very inconvenient without something to cover them.
In short, I was captivated by her at first sight. I desperately wanted to possess this woman, but what could I do besides look?
I only knew she lived in that building, but the building was so big, which unit did she live in? I could count which floor it was, but it was hard to tell which unit it was from the outside, and I couldn't just go and visit her
without permission. I kept watching until she finished.
My binoculars were pretty good; I could even see the beads of sweat on her body.
After she finished, she went into the bedroom, and the bedroom window faced my side. I could see her take off her panties as soon as she entered the bedroom.
But I could only see her doing that because the living room is different from the bedroom. The living room has a large floor-to-ceiling window, while the bedroom has half a wall. Usually, when looking from the same floor, you can only see the upper half of her body.
Looking over now, I could only see her shoulders and above. There was an air conditioner installed by the window—which was really absurd, placed in the middle, neither high nor low—and she was standing in front of it taking off her clothes.
There was another air conditioner in the living room, but it was installed higher up, and since the living room was large, it didn't obstruct the view.
I watched her bend down, pick up a towel (obviously from the bed) to dry herself, and then walk out. I believed she was going to take a shower.
I continued to monitor her, but unfortunately, the bathroom was on the other side of the room, so I could only wait.
Later, she returned to the room, now dressed in her pajamas; she was going to sleep.
She then drew the curtains, so I couldn't see anything anymore.
She drew the curtains, not to hide her sleeping, but to avoid the harsh morning sunlight; I doubt she was an early riser.
I lowered my binoculars, only then realizing how tired my eyes were.
I sat in the dark, lost in thought. I didn't have a steady girlfriend, but finding women was easy for me. Buying was the simplest way, and I could afford it. But buying too much got boring; the sense of conquest wasn't strong. I only did it occasionally.
I knew a few women, and I knew they were interested in me. A little flirting would be enough, but that was worse than buying. With buying, you'd already paid the price, and after the transaction, there was no responsibility. But with other women, once you slept with them, it was hard to get out; there were so many problems. I didn't like them, so I didn't bother with them.
In short, I'm a man with quite high standards in love, and this is the first time I've met a woman I truly desire, yet she remains unattainable.
Where can I even begin to look? Should I spend my days loitering outside that building, hoping to bump into her and introduce myself?
But I was incredibly lucky; the next day, I ran into her at the horse farm. She was with a group of men and women, including two men I recognized.
The horse farm was like a big party, free to come and go, and acquaintances could easily gather together.
They introduced her; her name was Shanshan.
Shanshan seemed rather indifferent to me.
I quietly asked one of her acquaintances, Faran, if there was any hope.
Faran chuckled and said, "You!"
"Is there something wrong with me?" I asked.
"Maybe I'm a bit of a playboy, but there are plenty of men more playboy than me, and besides, I don't have a wife. Men without wives are always more playboys, and they have the right to be!"
"You can try," Fran said. "I can tell you, she doesn't have a boyfriend!"
Such a lovely woman doesn't have a boyfriend? It seems men are all blind, but maybe it's fate.
After that, I immediately launched my offensive, pestering Shan Shan, talking to her, and showering her with attention.
To pursue a girl, you have to be shameless and eloquent, and I can do both.
Shan Shan at least didn't dislike me, so I was able to get her phone number and address, and I also arranged to have lunch with her the next day. I originally wanted to ask her to have dinner, but she said she preferred to go earlier so she could walk around.
That wasn't a bad idea either.
By the way, I've been around so many women in the nightlife scene that I've almost forgotten that daytime is also a time for intimacy.
I also told her where I live; she knows it's very close to her house, but she doesn't know it's right across from hers—I can even see her through binoculars.
After we had lunch, I understood why she wanted to go early. She wanted to go shopping in the city center. If she had eaten dinner, it would have been too late by the time she finished, since most large companies close around 9:30 pm. After lunch, however, there would still be plenty of time to shop.
Honestly, going shopping in the city center with a woman is exhausting. They seem to have endless energy in those places, walking around, choosing this and that, comparing this and that.
Liking a woman is tolerable, but what if you get her and the passion fades?
Shanshan, however, was someone I couldn't tolerate from day one. She bought things, and I paid. She bought a huge amount, and I paid a large sum.
She acted as if it were her right, buying whatever she wanted and expecting me to pay.
Only a prostitute would do that, but she wasn't! Besides, she wasn't my close girlfriend or my wife. This was like treating me like a sucker, which made me extremely resentful.
But I couldn't bear to give up. Maybe she was just too naive and willful, or poorly raised, or simply poor—but none of those seemed to apply.
Her mannerisms were charming, and she wasn't poor at all. I knew from friends that she came from a good family and had a well-paying, respectable job, which only confused me more.
After we had dinner together, she said she needed to go home early to sleep because she had to work the next day, but we could still have dinner together the following night.
That evening, I saw her doing aerobics at home again, just like the night before.
My feelings were hard to describe. I was very interested in this woman. We had only just begun to develop our relationship, yet I could already see her body so clearly.
The next day, we had dinner together again, and she still had the opportunity to take me to the bustling city, because she had asked me to pick her up from work.
She bought a lot of things, and I paid for them again. After putting everything in my car, she finally came to dinner with me.
We went back and forth like this for four days, and my advances seemed to be making no progress, but she didn't seem to tire of me.
On the fifth night, I saw a shocking secret through the binoculars.
That night, she was also doing aerobics, but there was an audience member in the house—a very fashionable young woman. This woman was just watching from the side, and I could immediately sense that something was off about her.
Later, after Shan Shan finished her aerobics, this woman kindly brought her a towel to wipe her sweat, and affectionately put her arm around Shan Shan's waist.
They were obviously going to take a shower together.
Later, they came back, not only embracing each other but also kissing. The air conditioner blocked the view, so I couldn't see very clearly, but I could see the general movements.
They lay down on the bed, and at this point, I couldn't see anything anymore.
Then I saw the woman sit up, but she was doing a riding position. If she were a man, her action would be very obvious; it would be clear at a glance that she was having sex.
Perhaps it was symbolic? Perhaps they were using a substitute.
I hoped they were just doing it symbolically and not using a substitute.
But what did it matter? In any case, they were doing something disgusting, perhaps not as disgusting as men doing men, but still quite unpleasant.
However, I still had a date with Shanshan the next day, and if I decided to give up on her, I could easily skip the date.
I went anyway.
We bought things, ate, and then had some drinks and listened to music at the lounge.
She was still chatting and laughing, and sometimes she would lean against me quite intimately or touch my hand.
I really don't understand. Even if she's interested in me, in the future I might only be able to share her with one other woman. What's so great about that? Why should I still associate with her?
But perhaps sharing with a woman is still better than sharing with another man! And I also have a conquering mentality: to win her over and make her understand that men can give her greater enjoyment.
Whether I can achieve that, I'm not sure, but I really want to win.
Another week passed, and I saw her meeting that woman twice more.
I thought it was my turn.
That night, after dinner, we went to a disco. I hugged her and kissed her. You don't necessarily have to dance wildly in a place like this; you can stand in the dark too.
I hugged her, gently kissed her forehead, and then gently kissed her ear. She trembled and gently pushed me away.
But with the music so loud, she still had to bring her mouth close to my ear to speak.
"What do you want?" she asked.
I said, "I want you!"
Since I was already speaking into her ear, I took the opportunity to lightly kiss it.
She flinched again, gripped my sleeve tightly, and said, "Don't do that! We can't be together."
"Why can't we be together?" I asked.
"I buy things for you every day, haven't I scared you away yet?" she asked suspiciously.
"You buy things just to scare me away?" I asked, feigning disbelief.
She shrugged casually and said, "Maybe you're rich and don't care, maybe the women you know are used to this."
I said confidently, "I know you're not that kind of woman."
She said, "Maybe I should try a different method to scare you away!"
I suggested, "Maybe you should try my method."
She said, "What method?"
I stared at her, "Do you think women are really better than men?"
She said, "What do you mean?"
I said, "You know what I mean, why play that abnormal game?"
She suddenly turned around and went back to the table, picked up her glass of light wine, drank it all in one gulp, and then walked towards the door.
I followed her out.
These places require tickets, and you can leave whenever you want.
We went outside, and I said, "If you're going home, I'll drive you!"
She said, "No need, don't worry about me, I'll just take a walk around the neighborhood!"
I still stayed by her side, and she didn't object.
Later, she said, "How did you know?"
This was something I couldn't tell her the truth. I just said, "You can't hide the truth forever. You might be able to keep it a secret, but your girlfriend might not be so good at it!"
It was a tactic of playing dirty tricks, but it was hard to prove I was lying. And love is like a battlefield; I felt that I had the right to use unconventional methods when dealing with a female rival.
She sighed, "Since you know what kind of person I am, why are you still chasing after me?"
I said, "You don't really care about the things I buy you, so you don't need to scare me away like this. If you don't want to associate with me, you just need to not agree to my dates at the beginning. The fact that you're willing to go out with me clearly shows that you have some feelings for me, doesn't it?"
She took out a handkerchief to wipe her tears.
I gently put my arm around her waist and said, "We can be friends. You can't discuss this with others, but now that you know, you can discuss it with me. How about we go back to the car and talk?"
We went back to the car, which was parked in the parking lot, and sat inside.
She kept crying.
She started sobbing.
I gently hugged her and let her cry. It's best to wait until a woman has finished crying before talking to her.
I said, "If you know this is wrong, then you should try to change it."
She then wiped away her tears. I said, "How could you fall in love with someone like this? I believe you're not like this at all."
She said, "I was lonely! A girlfriend came to comfort me, which I welcomed, but gradually things developed like this."
I said, "You shouldn't be lonely! There must be many men pursuing you!"
Shanshan said, "At that time, after I broke up with my boyfriend, I was in a bad mood. Later, I met her, and we became very good friends, but she wouldn't let me have any other boyfriends..."
She didn't say anything, just leaned against me, which was obviously an indication of acceptance.
My hands began to move over her body. It's very likely that the other woman did the same, because there's no other way. This initial contact should be the same for both men and women; the difference lies only in the final step.
But her feelings must have been different. First, she knew I was a man, and second, she had a different kind of affection for me, because she had never been interested in men before, yet now she was willing to give me this.
The car wasn't a good environment, but I couldn't let this opportunity pass.
Taking her home would be better, of course, but once we were home, she might change her mind. I had to touch her most important parts.
I kissed her gently, gently caressing her through her clothes before finally reaching inside.
There was no need to unbutton her clothes, because her top was a pullover with loose, long hems, making it easy to slip my hand inside. I just needed to reach in and unhook her bra.
I unhooked it, and my hand was already there.
As soon as I touched her, she trembled and then moaned.
I don't know if my hand could beat that "rival's," but I'm sure I'm pretty good.
I then moved my hand under her skirt.
I wanted to touch the two most important places as quickly as possible.
First, I touched her panties. She wasn't wearing stockings, which was good; otherwise, it would be a big obstacle.
Although the panties were very close-fitting, the edges were elastic, so I could pull them open and slip my hand inside. I did it quickly because it was already quite wet.
I touched the most important spot, and since it was already wet, it was very slippery.
She shuddered and let out a soft "Ah."
I said, "Are you still...?"
"Of course," she said, "Be careful with your hands!"
She told me to be careful not to reach out recklessly, not because she was afraid of breaking my skin, but because she was afraid of hurting me.
This worry about hurting me wasn't difficult for me to resolve.
As she said, if you don't reach out your fingers, you won't hurt.
I believed her rival had tried to do that before, hence her warning; as long as I didn't try to intrude, there wouldn't be a problem.
I'm sure I did just as well as my "rival," because her reaction was extremely strong.
She kept moaning, pressed close to me, sometimes pinching me, tugging at my clothes, and finally she shuddered and let out a long sigh.
I stopped too. I was glad she was the type to enjoy this kind of service, otherwise I would have had trouble.
As she nestled against me affectionately, I whispered in her ear, "Let's not continue here, let's go back to my place, okay?"
She said softly, "My place, please! I need to exercise."
"What kind of exercise?"
"I do aerobics every night." After saying that, she seemed to intentionally boast about her full and curvaceous body, swaying her hips.
I couldn't wait any longer, so I immediately drove straight to "our" home.
When we got home, she, as usual, removed all her excess clothing. Perhaps I wasn't as familiar to her as that other woman, she seemed a little shy, and I deliberately avoided her shy and uneasy feelings.
A moment later, she walked towards me wearing a pink, sheer nightgown—of course, underneath she was still only wearing a short pair of panties.
Reaching my side, she smiled sweetly.
She said, "Am I beautiful?"
She wasn't so shy anymore, she became lively, perhaps because she was already quite experienced in this matter at home, only her previous partners weren't men.
I sat up and admired her closely under the light. Areas invisible through the binoculars were now visible; the color wasn't dense, because of her youth, and the center was light and even, possessing an exceptionally clean quality.
My hands were busy too, and she reacted. She closed her eyes, and the intense sensation made her hands wander over my body, eventually reaching the place my "rival" hadn't touched.
She pulled her hands away as soon as she touched me; she had touched me because I had also taken off my towel.
She opened her eyes and looked, saying, "This...this is terrifying!"
That was because I was now in a state of high arousal.
Although I wasn't particularly large, it was still quite shocking to a woman who had never had any experience.
I reassured her that everyone does this, and everyone can enjoy it, and that elasticity can accommodate it.
She understood.
My hands finally brought her to another climax, and then I truly possessed her.
I finally reached my climax, paused, and asked her how she felt.
She said it felt swollen, but she also felt a sense of fullness she hadn't experienced before. She always felt something was missing before, because of an emptiness inside.
Her friend tried to use her fingers, but she refused; the woman even offered to bring a substitute, but she still refused.
Now she felt fulfilled.
I slowly withdrew, then went back in, and after that, it went smoothly.
After all, people are resilient; being petite isn't such a big problem.
I could also feel that she was enjoying it, and she had reached orgasm.
Later, I couldn't hold back any longer.
When I couldn't hold back, I would, as usual, pound wildly—a natural, involuntary muscle response that I couldn't control.
This might have been painful for her, but she held me tightly, so she didn't seem to be in too much pain, and she knew this was the most wonderful moment.
After that, I calmed down, like a tightly drawn bowstring relaxing. Once relaxed, I naturally shrunk and then slipped away.
I finally left her, but she raised a question first. She said, "I'm afraid... I won't be as enjoyable as those experienced women!"
She was competitive, but not arrogant; perhaps she wouldn't have said that to that woman.
I told her that these things are hard to compare, and when you like someone, you don't care so much about that.
But she was very calculating.
She told me that if there was anything I needed to improve, I should teach her.
This was wonderful; clearly, she absolutely wanted a next time.
I didn't disappoint her. I showed her how to do it this way and that, but if she wasn't used to it yet, it might affect her enjoyment, so she didn't insist.
She said, "I feel great now, come on, let's try again!"
I explained with a wry smile that we needed to rest for a while before trying again; men generally can't do it continuously so quickly.
After resting for a while, we tried again, but she found it difficult to accept. In fact, it was quite difficult for her; she was just starting out and wasn't used to doing it continuously either. She said I made her feel a little hot.
We finished quickly this time.
It seems she is a rather decent person after all.
She told me that men were still better; with men, at least she wouldn't commit a crime!
But how to get rid of that woman?
I said, "Does she have any special way of controlling you?"
She said no, the woman just begged her, and she even offered to break up, but then softened and continued.
I said, "It's easy. Just tell her you're with another man, and she won't be interested anymore!"
This method worked, but the inside story was more complicated than Shanshan knew. I personally confronted this woman; I found out who she was, and I had already taken photos of her at Shanshan's house with a telephoto camera.
She was a wealthy girl who cared a lot about her image. I told her that if she didn't give up on Shanshan, I would send the photos to her father, and then she would have no choice but to submit.
After that, I could have Shanshan all to myself. Later, I married Shanshan. People laughed at me, saying that this playboy had been conquered by Shanshan. Maybe it was true. She had never been touched by another man. I was the one who pioneered and guided her. I could only feel at ease marrying a woman like her.

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