Who can solve my wife's problem?

page views:1 Publication date:2013-08-27

We've been together for over a year, and we moved in together about a month after we met. Now she's my fiancée, and we have a wonderful life. We go to work and come home every day, our lives are simple but happy, and our relationship is great. We love each other very much and feel very fortunate. However, I'm still troubled by our differing views on sex.
When we first got together, she was shy and scared during her first time, but when it happened, she accepted it readily and held me tightly. For a long time afterward, because we didn't know each other very well, she wasn't completely open with me, so I always had to force her to have sex. Because I have a strong sex drive, we did it once a day, and she didn't say anything, but I could sense her passivity. However, out of love for me, she didn't refuse, but just begged me to do it less often. She seemed unresponsive, without feeling, and silent, as if she was enduring pain. Sometimes it made me feel very guilty. Why is this happening? How could this be? Can't she enjoy it too? If there's anything wrong, she can say so, but she doesn't say a word. It's like she's silently enduring it.
Gradually, I started communicating with her, and she changed. I kept instilling correct sexual values in her and bought her sex toys to try. She slowly started to feel something and enjoy it! But she was still usually uncooperative and showed no interest in creating romance. I gradually taught her to give me oral sex, and she enjoyed it. But this didn't last long. The tool I used to develop her interest defeated me... that vibrator! Before each session, she would lie on the bed alone, oblivious to me, using it until she reached clitoral orgasm. After orgasm, she would rush through it, urging me to have sex again, only doing it briefly because she was afraid I wouldn't want to, and then urging me to ejaculate quickly. I was very distressed. This wasn't the kind of sex I wanted at all. How could a couple who had only known each other for a year have ended up like this? I was frustrated. Often, even the physical pleasure during sex was greatly diminished, let alone the psychological pleasure.
Desperate, I searched online for things that could give me psychological pleasure. That's how I came to 69park. I have a very open attitude towards sex, and I'm completely accepting of masturbation. I can even masturbate myself just by looking at the success stories here. But I know my fiancée would never accept it. I've talked to her about similar issues before. She's a very traditional girl; before we met, she wouldn't even hold hands. A male friend of hers once casually slapped her on the butt, and she cut off all contact with him! After we got together, things changed, but there were still problems. She finds all men except me disgusting, and won't even let me touch her. So I know she absolutely cannot accept this situation, but my long-standing unsatisfied sexual desires are causing me a lot of distress. Finally, I thought I could slowly guide her to this place, so I uploaded some of her photos, hoping it would temporarily satisfy me. So I secretly took some photos of us having sex and some private pictures of her, because she absolutely forbids me from taking them; she's very disgusted by them! I always took them secretly. But she still found out. The consequences were severe; this was basically the worst fight we've ever had since we met, and we almost broke up! You know, we're already engaged! I love her very much! I'm also a very loyal person! She felt heartbroken and confused about this whole thing! She was heartbroken that we loved each other so much, and I would post her photos online, letting others see her body! In the end, time brought us back together, and we loved each other as much as before! But since then, she's become even more averse to sex; the mere mention of it makes her feel nauseous! It might be a psychological trauma! I really don't know what to do! Can anyone help me?

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