The Mask of Life: Having never had a first love, I've become a seasoned lover.

page views:1 Publication date:2012-11-24

I'm 28, not young anymore, yet I don't know what true love feels like. I've had several failed attempts at pursuing someone. I experienced that heart-wrenching pain, and since then, I haven't pursued a girl again. Of course, there's another important reason: I don't want to get married yet
. Deep down, I live with two selves. One is 18, which I yearn for, because then I can rediscover what I lost. The other is 35, because my rich life experience means I'm destined to mature faster than my peers. Online friends I've chatted with can't believe I'm only 28, because someone who's only lived 28 years can't possibly have such profound insights into life. But it's true, I'm only 28—an age that seems both real and unreal.
In my colleagues' eyes, I'm a witty, humorous, generous, and somewhat aloof guy. I prefer to be alone and never go out alone with female friends. My life revolves around work and the internet. Because I've never been in a relationship, to my many female friends, I'm like an untouched paradise—that's the mask I wear in life.
No one knows that behind the mask, countless experiences with sex have deeply corrupted me. It's like a poison, incurable until I end my single life, because I'm also a normal man, a man who fears loneliness.
In the online world, I'm constantly searching for women who share my thoughts, like scattering beans to form an army. This is no longer my only battlefield; I've merged my soul into the internet. For me, opportunity is everywhere online.
Loneliness is the back door of humanity; to open it requires a wise key. Perhaps we don't have many eloquent words, but at least we should understand respect for others.
Sex, though the most primal human behavior, needs to be interpreted with modern civilization.

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