A love that shook half a lifetime

page views:1 Publication date:2023-05-03

The grand
chimes of the South City Railway Station, echoing six times in the silent morning air, jolted me awake from a nightmare that felt like an eternal rebirth.

Since last year, when my only watch, a vintage steel watch, was exchanged for a train ticket due to insufficient funds, I now rely solely on the station chimes to tell the time. I slowly sat up, wiping the cold sweat from my brow, and looked around to confirm I was indeed in my ancestral home, in my own room. It was a crisp early winter morning; the sun hadn't yet risen from the back of the mountain, casting a dim, cool blue light over the entire room. The room was heavy, and shadows from the previous night still lingered in the corners and under the table, conveying a sense of melancholy and the inevitable decline of my life.

The dream was still vivid in my mind. In it, Xiaoxue sat coldly on the pavilion, watching the pattering rain outside, then turned to look at me, her face filled with sorrow and bitterness.

I shook my head to calm my thoughts, got up, and went to the window to look out. Snow was falling all around, the distant view hazy, yet the snow was heavy but not fierce. Snowflakes drifted down and touched my lips, melting gently and slowly, like an old friend coming to kiss me softly.

This scene reminded me of events from twenty years ago, those memories that still bled through my life, and that kiss as heavy as a mountain…

Love. Shaking. Half a Life,

Part One

[Love. Shaking]

Twenty years ago, I was still an innocent young man born into a wealthy family.

Our Fang family originated from Sanjiazi in Beiping, a well-known wealthy and powerful clan, owning
countless fields and mountains, and a family of scholars for generations. I heard that my great-grandfather's generation even produced some scholars. Furthermore, my
brother the family business seven years ago and achieved remarkable success, making our family even more prosperous than before.

Although the Fang family was a large household, it was small in number. My mother passed away shortly after my birth, leaving only
my father, my brother, and me. Apart from an uncle who lived in the southern part of the city, there were no other family members.

My father, who was in charge of the family business, was not a talented official, but he was kind and honest and treated the tenants well, making him a capable
steward of the family business. My brother, ten years older than me, was ambitious and, in addition to helping my father manage the family business, he actively engaged in commerce. In this time of
national turmoil and foreign aggression, my brother's businesses, such as cloth, rice, and medicinal herbs, which were closely related to the country,
flourished and he achieved great success.

Of the three in my family, I was the only one who didn't work. What would be a rare privilege for most
to receive a university education in bustling Hong Kong, I completed with a nonchalant attitude. However ,
for my father, who still longed for a scholar to emerge from the family, this was already a source of immense pride and joy. He had no other demands of me,
except for constantly urging my brother and me to get married and continue the family line.

Like other modern young people educated in the West, I yearned for the freedom romanticized by Western literature
and hated constraints. I despised the traditional, conservative family business, the money-grubbing merchants, the self-righteous
scholars, and the chaotic state of a nation in turmoil. For this reason, I drifted through life aimlessly
until that day, when Xiaoxue appeared in my life like a spark igniting a firework.

Twenty years ago, in early December, when the weather was still chilly, Xiaoxue, true to her name, arrived in
Beiping (Beijing) amidst a blanket of snow. The Fang family's wedding became a major event in the neighborhood that year, with lanterns and decorations everywhere, creating a lively atmosphere.

I learned from my brother that Xiaoxue came from a scholarly family in Shenyang, received a modern education, and
possessed a refined and elegant demeanor. My brother met Xiaoxue by chance while doing business in the area, and was immediately captivated by her beauty. After years of persistent
pursuit , he finally won her heart and they married.

My brother told me that he only realized the existence
of .

As for me, it wasn't until his wedding day that I truly understood the meaning of my brother's words.

The wedding was exceptionally grand and lively. Early in the morning, the sounds of music, firecrackers, and cheers from the crowds
echoed from the streets. Everyone in the family rushed to the gate to catch a glimpse of the bride. From a distance, I saw
the matchmaker carrying the bride dressed in a peach-red silk gown embroidered with phoenixes and wearing a red silk veil and a gold-carved phoenix crown, into the house,
but I didn't think much of it. For someone like me who hates formalities, the noisy, clinking glasses and bustling atmosphere at home were utterly tiresome
, so I tried to avoid it whenever possible.

After the wedding ceremony, there was an endless stream of banquets and social obligations, with one standardized face after another and one standardized blessing
after another. As night fell, my elderly father, having drunk too much, had already gone to bed, and my brother was having his wedding night
. As the only host in the hall, I was naturally busy with social obligations and couldn't leave. Finally, as the guests left, drunk and disoriented,
it was almost dawn.

After seeing the last guest out the door, I looked at the sky. The once dark sky was now showing the pale
light of dawn. Exhausted, I let out a long sigh, wanting nothing more than to go back to my room and sleep soundly. Just as
I was back to my room through the corridor of the hanging flower gate along the gravel path, I saw a strange woman sitting alone
on the pavilion in the garden, staring blankly at the swirling snowflakes.

Before me stood an exceptionally beautiful woman, her face, rounded yet sharp like an oval seed, framed
a long, uncombed black head that cascaded straight down her shoulders. Her long, curved eyelashes were captivating, perfectly
complementing her clear, almond-shaped eyes, which seemed to be veiled by layers of curtains, yet revealed a string of alluring glances. She sat sideways on a stone bench, her slender
figure and full breasts, barely concealed by her thick cotton coat, glowing with a faint blue hue in the morning light, radiating an
ethereal beauty.

It was a clear, otherworldly beauty, extremely subtle. The ethereal yet luminous light she exuded
filled the entire space, as if the surroundings had frozen in time, as if any disturbance would instantly
shatter and cease to exist. It was a natural, noble aura of submission, instilling a
sense of unease, making it hard to breathe. I

stood there, stunned, my palms sweating, afraid to move. The wind blew, and time seemed to stand still. Just
then, tears suddenly streamed down her face. At first, they flowed quietly, but soon she began to sob,
then burst into silent wailing.

This sudden turn of events threw me into disarray. I took a small step back, bumping into the
bonsai and shattering the tranquil silence. The woman looked at me with a hint of surprise, but within a second, she regained
her composure and gently wiped away her tears.

"Good morning, Second Uncle," she said.

She was my sister-in-law, whom I had never met before, my brother's bride, Xiaoxue.

"Oh...it's Sister-in-law! You're up so early? I haven't slept yet!...Where's my brother?" I was stunned
for a moment before I could reply.

"He's probably not used to sleeping in a strange place. Your brother is still sleeping, and your Second Uncle is tired too. Go back to your room and rest
!"

After speaking, she didn't wait for my reply and went back to her room, leaving behind a sweet aftertaste that slowly
seeped into the surroundings. I stood there alone, my sleepiness nowhere to be found, only a trace of confusion and
a restless, uneasy soul remained.

Several days passed, and I didn't see this sister-in-law often. Apart from nodding in greeting, we didn't exchange any other words.
However, a beautiful woman in the house who made one's breathing quicken unexpectedly, the whole house had
an atmosphere that made one uneasy.

On the fifth day of our honeymoon, my brother was leaving for the south on business, leaving my wife alone at home
. Seeing that Xiaoxue had been alone at home for quite some time, my father asked me to accompany her for a walk. I
readily agreed, and Xiaoxue neither agreed nor disagreed, but simply followed me. The two of us silently left the house
and went out into the street.

I rarely spend time alone with my daughter, and for a moment, we looked at each other shyly, speechless. Seeing the tense atmosphere, I took
Xiaoxue to the place between Zhengyangmen and Yongdingmen, known as "Tianqiao" (the bridge the emperor used to walk on).
To the east is the Temple of Heaven, and to the west is the Temple of Agriculture. Both sides of the bridge are lined with stalls of all sizes—carts, stretchers—filled
with all sorts of local snacks and trinkets. Countless street performers and fortune tellers are also there, and the place is bustling with people.

Arriving at this ordinary people's market, which we don't usually visit, Xiaoxue's face was noticeably less gloomy than before.
We looked at each stall, eating mung bean dumplings, then fried shrimp, and finally a steaming hot jianbing guozi (Chinese crepe).
Seeing Xiaoxue intently looking at the trinkets, I bought her a small powder box and a white ivory folding fan.
She thanked me with a smile, and I smiled back. Three years older than me, she held these little things with a childlike
joy. While comforting her, I also clearly understood the melancholy that had gripped Xiaoxue these past few days.

Tired from walking, I took Xiaoxue to Beidaihe. It was quiet there, without a sound of cars,
and Xiaoxue's mood calmed down.

"Sister-in-law, are you hungry? I'll go buy some food..." The silence returned, and we were both speechless again. I tried to make
small talk, hoping to slip away unnoticed.

"Yusheng, we're about the same age, don't call me sister-in-law, call me Xiaoxue! We're all young, and I
don't want to call you 'Second Uncle,' it sounds too formal." Xiaoxue, ever the worldly-wise one, quickly broke down the barrier between
us .

"Okay! I want to say that too. I love the name Xiaoxue, it suits you so well." This was my
honest opinion.

"Really? It's a pity it doesn't sound good with your brother's name! Fang Fengyang, Huo Xiaoxue, it sounds like a snowstorm if they walk
together !"

"Haha! I didn't even think of that until you mentioned it, it does sound a bit unlucky!" I joked.
“Yusheng, I’m Xue, and you’re Yu. Our names match so well! But don’t misunderstand, I’m
just referring to our names!”

Xiaoxue smiled at me, a gentle breeze brushing past my ears. Her words and expression stirred a deep
emotion within me, a bittersweet feeling.

I couldn’t reply, and then another silence fell. At that moment, I remembered Xiaoxue sitting in the courtyard on the morning of our wedding
, her sorrow, and her tears. I wanted to know her thoughts, I wanted to understand her more, but I didn’t know
where to begin.

We stared at each other in silence. Suddenly, a series of alarming sirens
wailed , and soon, deafening sirens blared from all directions. Xiaoxue was terrified,
looking around in confusion, and I, equally flustered, grabbed Xiaoxue’s hand and ran, like everyone else, towards
the air-raid shelter. The streets were in chaos. People were calling for their mothers, searching for their children, and some had fallen and been
crushed by those behind them. The once bustling street had instantly turned into a scene of hell. We

ran and ran, disregarding everything, and finally reached the air-raid shelter. It seemed rather small, with
pitch-black walls on all four sides. Before Xiaoxue and I could even settle in, we were constantly being pushed and shoved by the people following us in
. More and more people filed in, and we were constantly being jostled and bumped from all sides. I spread my arms wide, trying my best to protect
Xiaoxue , but when the large steel door of the air-raid shelter closed, everyone was pressed together, face to face and back to back
. I, who had been protecting Xiaoxue with my outstretched arms, ended up with my arms tightly wrapped around her chest, holding her close.

Xiaoxue and I were face to face, nose to nose, our still-
breathing on each other's faces. I inhaled her sweet fragrance, her intoxicating rose scent
wafting through the air. In the darkness, I saw the light in Xiaoxue's eyes.

Our bodies were pressed tightly together, without any gap. I could feel her full, soft breasts
rising me. One hand, holding her, rested on her smooth back, the other on her
lower back, just above her hips—a softness and elasticity no less than Xiaoxue's breasts.

Embracing her soft, fragrant body, my unruly member was already hard against Xiaoxue's lower abdomen, a
feeling both extremely embarrassing and incredibly pleasurable. I don't know if she felt
the restless throbbing of my manhood, but I knew that Xiaoxue's delicate body, held tightly in my arms, trembled stiffly, her heart pounding
and her breath coming in rapid gasps.

Time passed, and the scene before me was both awkward and warm. The air-raid shelter was filled with the
noise of people crying and the strong smell of body odor, but I, holding this beautiful woman tightly in my arms, felt nothing of it.
I was now in a world with only the two of us. The person opposite me was fragrant, warm, soft, and smooth.
Her breath was drawn directly into my body through our nostrils, and my own breath
was absorbed by her body. This exchange of air made me feel extremely intimate.

Unable to resist, I hugged her tighter and tighter, my lower body thrusting forward uncontrollably. My heart was pounding, my throat was dry, and I
instinctively licked my lips. My tongue seemed to touch something, and the body I was holding trembled slightly, but there was no other
extreme reaction. As if encouraged by something, I involuntarily parted my trembling lips slightly and moved forward at
an almost zero speed.

Just as our lips were about to touch, a completely different alarm sounded outside. It was
the all-clear signal. It seemed that this was another false alarm. Ever since the many atrocities involving the Japanese occurred in China,
rumors of war had been circulating everywhere. Major cities were like frightened birds, and people were filled with anxiety.
False alarms of air raids were frequent. Of course, no one could be sure that the next one would be the same.

The alarm was lifted, and everyone inside the cave let out various
sighs , before leaving the air-raid shelter one by one, their bodies limp and exhausted. I dragged Xiaoxue from the darkness back into
the sunlight. Fortunately, it was nearing dusk, and the sunlight wasn't too glaring. I looked back at Xiaoxue; her head was down, her face
flushed red in the sunset, and I finally remembered the intimate scene we had just witnessed in the darkness.

I had indeed taken advantage, and it had completely crossed the line of intimacy between lovers. However, I
had been forced, involuntary, and had no choice. Apologizing wasn't an option, nor was not apologizing. I felt
as uneasy as a guilty thief with a conscience.

We returned home in silence. As Xiaoxue went to her room, she turned back and smiled at me.
"Yusheng, thank you. I'm very happy today, and thank you for protecting me so well. Please don't
worry ."

Watching Xiaoxue close the door, I felt a
huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Xiaoxue didn't blame me. I closed my eyes, breathed a sigh of relief, and stood there, like a little rascal who had stolen some candy, quietly savoring the sweet scent and feeling.

From then on, Xiaoxue and I became close. She and her husband rarely saw each other, and on days when my brother wasn't around,
Xiaoxue and I were inseparable. I took her all over Beiping (Beijing), and she introduced me to Rousseau's works and some
European literature I didn't know. I had never met such a knowledgeable woman; she was like a winged
fairy from the mortal world, completely different from the traditional and superficial women I had known before.

Our barriers were broken down, our conversations opened up, and the topics gradually became deeper, ranging from national affairs
to personal thoughts. Xiaoxue often teased me about my dissatisfaction with life, saying it was just
my immature, childish whining.

One day during Xiaoxue's second year of marriage, we agreed to stroll around Tiananmen Square in the morning, then walk along Chang'an Avenue to
Xidan, Xisi, and finally to a teahouse in Pinganli. In the afternoon, we took a leisurely walk around Beidaihe.
The setting sun cast its crimson glow over Beidaihe, mingling with the deep shadows of the mountains. In the villas nestled at the foot of the mountains, a few
lights . Xiaoxue and I discussed literature, current events, and life amidst the shimmering lights and reflections.

During our debate, my cynicism was once again ridiculed, and I retorted, "My
sorrows are just empty words, but what about yours? Why did you cry on your wedding night?" As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew I had said the wrong
thing and struggled to find a way to smooth things over.

"You wouldn't understand the sorrow of being a woman!"

Xiaoxue said wistfully, gazing at a distant point in the distance.

“Yusheng, actually, your brother and I aren’t a good match. He never knows what I’m thinking, and he never
asks. I know, I know he treats me very well, but… but I don’t need that…”

Xiaoxue told me that her ideal husband had always been a man whose personality and thoughts were very
compatible . However, her parents wanted her to find a husband who could help the family business. From a young age
, her parents had constantly introduced her to wealthy and powerful men for blind dates. Xiaoxue knew that she had no say in her life’s most important matter,
but she couldn’t force herself to accept those vulgar men who made her want to vomit at first glance. Until my brother
appeared , he was deeply affectionate and doted on her. Her parents were also very happy with my brother. Xiaoxue was moved, and
she also knew that she was already twenty-seven years old and getting old. She didn’t want to waste any more years and disappoint her family, and it also relieved her of
a worry.

Winter had just passed, and spring was in full bloom. The weather was neither sunny nor rainy, and the cotton-like clouds in the sky gradually
dispersed, revealing patches of verdant smiles. A gentle breeze warmed my heart. I stared blankly
at Xiaoxue, feeling the sorrow of a modern woman living in the old society.

"Yusheng, can you stop staring at me like that? People will misunderstand!" She broke the silence
and turned to look at me.

It turned out that Xiaoxue had noticed my often lecherous stares at her, but at this moment, my gaze was devoid
of any desire, and I looked at her confidently without looking away.

"Xiaoxue, when your brother isn't here, I will take his place and protect you well."

Xiaoxue gazed into my eyes with watery eyes, then looked away awkwardly after a moment.

I realized my lapse in composure and quickly rambled on, "I hope that the next generation of women in China can be
independent , able to decide their own lives and no longer need men to protect them. You know, everyone likes
to have a son in the family, but I, Fang Yusheng, prefer daughters! I don't like boys!"

"Hmm? Yusheng likes daughters?" Xiaoxue turned to look at me.

"I like them very much. Daughters are like dolls, and
they'll be so lovable when they grow up. Unlike boys, who are ugly when they're six or seven, and you have to pamper them even more when they grow up!"

Xiaoxue laughed at my teasing and joked, "Yusheng likes little daughters. If I have a
daughter , can I call her Xiaoyu?" The more she talked, the more incoherent and wrong she became, so Xiaoxue quickly stopped.

Suddenly, a strong wind blew through the dense foliage of the trees in the twilight, its deep green roar spreading slowly like ripples
, and the cawing of crows came from the mountainside.

I rushed to Xiaoxue and hugged her, pressing my lips to hers.

A moment later, a sharp "slap" rang out.

"If you do that again, I'll tell your brother! Yusheng, I'm your sister-in-law
!" Xiaoxue warned me, her face flushed and her eyes blazing.

A burning pain shot through my face. I touched my cheek, looking at Xiaoxue in terror, unsure what to do.

Dark clouds hung low and thick without warning, completely obscuring the last rays of sunlight. A chilly sky, as if rain was imminent
, suddenly plunged into darkness. The once cool spring breeze howled incessantly. We remained silent
, allowing the turmoil in our hearts to slowly subside.

"It's getting dark, let's go back!"

"Okay."

After that day, Xiaoxue deliberately avoided me. Aside from the three meals a day when the family had to sit together, I had
no time to spend with her.

This troubled me immensely.

What had I done wrong? What did she mean by our names being a good match? What did she mean by naming our future daughter Xiaoyu?
Wasn't that an implication? What kind of ideal husband is someone whose personality and thoughts are perfectly compatible with yours? Isn't that me
? Why are you rejecting me? Why are you avoiding me? Xiaoxue, what exactly are you trying to say to me?

Xiaoxue has been married into the Fang family for three years, but she still hasn't borne any children. Her father has started clamoring to arrange
a concubine for her brother, a sentiment her brother, who cherishes Xiaoxue dearly, is naturally very opposed to. During this time, tensions have escalated between her father, brother, and Xiaoxue.
They argued frequently.

To fulfill his father's wish to become a heir, his brother seized every opportunity to be intimate with Xiaoxue whenever he came home. In
the quiet , lonely nights, I would vaguely hear the soft
moans of a woman coming from the next room, whether it was my imagination or not. I would fantasize about Xiaoxue's snow-white naked body being molested by my brother, while desperately stroking my manhood, a bitter, aching
jealousy rising in my chest.

It was another sad December night. The winter solstice was just two days away. It hadn't snowed before, but
that night, the snow truly fell, a thin layer of white covering the earth. That night, my father and brother went out to a banquet, and
I, too, was a little drunk, staggering home. When I arrived in the courtyard, bathed in
the crisscrossing shadows of white snow and black trees, the drowsiness that had seeped into my brain suddenly vanished.

I saw that the door to my brother's room next door was only ajar, with candlelight flickering inside, shining through the tiny crack
.

Sleepiness vanished, but the intoxication reached its peak. I stumbled into my brother's room, slowly pushing open the wooden door. Xiaoxue
was lying on her side on the bed, facing the wall with her back to the door. She had probably fallen asleep from exhaustion while waiting for her brother to return.

It was obvious; my brother hadn't come back yet.

Inside the room, the silent figure and the flickering shadow in the candlelight overlapped and intertwined on the wall. My
inner eye spotted a pair of white floral satin shoes under the white curtains by the bed, and a delicate white
silk blouse and a green gauze skirt hanging on a clothes rack. Seeing Xiaoxue's outer garments laid out to the side, a surge of heat
rose . My mind wandered, and I crossed the threshold to the bedside. A strong fragrance, the scent of a woman after a bath
, filled the entire room, making me feel intoxicated. My head was spinning, and I couldn't control myself. I got into bed and
lay down beside Xiaoxue in the same position.

Xiaoxue didn't react.

After lying there holding my breath for a while, I moved my head closer, gently nuzzling the back of Xiaoxue's head, inhaling her
rose-like fragrance. At that moment, I felt as if I were back in that phantom moment when we were pressed together in the air-raid shelter.

"Mmm..." Xiaoxue hummed softly.

Just like when I heard Xiaoxue's cries at midnight, I was completely captivated, inexplicably excited, my desire burning ever brighter.
One hand, without my control, quietly slipped under the covers, slowly moving from behind to Xiaoxue's chest.

Finally, I grasped one of Xiaoxue's breasts, covered only by a thin blouse!

That was Xiaoxue's breast, my destiny, the hope I had yearned to touch for the past three years, a hope I
had dared not yet dared to .

Firm and full breasts, a hot, swelling sensation emanating from my palms, their soft, elastic texture
indescribable . I slightly tightened my grip, kneading them, the smooth, watery flesh rippling freely in my hands. I
wantonly ravaged and teased those undulating roundness, the protruding nipples gradually hardening.

Finding my target, I pinched those tender nipples between my fingertips, playing with them at will. The body I touched
trembled slightly. In extreme excitement, I extended my tongue to lick her alluring pink neck. The woman before me obediently
raised for me to lick, my tongue experiencing the most exquisite skin in the world, as white as egg white, warm and sweet.

I was intoxicated. After enjoying the smoothness of her pink neck, my tongue moved to savor her delicate earlobe, then curled
my tongue and probed into her ear canal. Xiaoxue slightly twisted, her waist swaying.

Lost in passion, my tongue greedily searched for her lips, and Xiaoxue understood and obediently turned her face towards me.

At that moment, Xiaoxue and I locked eyes.

"Yusheng!? How could it be you? What are you doing here!?"

The man sleeping next to her wasn't her husband. Xiaoxue's almond-shaped eyes widened in fury as she shouted and tried
to push me away.

At that moment, I had completely lost my senses. Without hesitation, I forcefully pressed Xiaoxue's hands down, pinning her heavily
beneath me.

"Xiaoxue! I love you! I've always loved you! You know my feelings, so why are you
avoiding me?"

"You're drunk! Yusheng, you can't think like this anymore! Do you understand? We have no future!"
Looking into my eyes, Xiaoxue's initial anger turned to panic.

"I don't care! I want you! Xiaoxue, I love you! Don't run away from me! I want to have you now!"

I forcefully kissed Xiaoxue's lips. She struggled fiercely, my kisses covering her face, cheeks, ears, and neck.

"No! No! Yusheng... I'm your... sister-in-law... No... You can't... I beg you... No..."

Xiaoxue trembled violently, but she tried her best to suppress her cries, afraid of alerting those outside.

This was the old society! When a woman was violated and humiliated, she couldn't even cry out for help! If others found out about
this "immoral and shameful act," only the woman would suffer!

I didn't want to disturb the servants, so I silenced Xiaoxue's pleading mouth with my own, my tongue plunging deep into her
mouth , touching the tip of her tongue.

Xiaoxue was unable to speak because of my mouth, so I took the opportunity to search every corner of her mouth with my tongue, entwining her
delicate tongue, gathering the saliva inside, and then putting it into my own mouth.

I pressed Xiaoxue down on the bed and kissed her continuously, the cold wind blowing in through the cracks in the window, making the flickering candlelight dance on the floor
.

"Mmm...no...mmm..." After being kissed for a long, long time by a large man, Xiaoxue's delicate
voice grew weaker and weaker, her struggles waning. I released her, my hands
roaming .

Her body trembled as I explored her entire being, offering only weak, sporadic resistance.

I unfastened the three knots on her right breast, pulling open her blouse
to reveal slightly sunken shoulders, full, high breasts, delicate pink nipples,
a gracefully slender waist, and a rounded lower abdomen revealing a hint of pubic hair. I was stunned.

Xiaoxue shyly covered herself with her hands, but I forcefully pulled one away, then grasped her alluring breasts,
sucking and licking them with abandon, savoring them like precious jewels.

"Mmm...mmm...no..." By this time, Xiaoxue was completely exhausted, her hands only able to weakly push my
shoulders .

At this moment, the prey before me was powerless to resist, and my animalistic instincts subsided.
Before the woman I loved most in my life, the most precious treasure in the world. With boundless tenderness, I
gazed upon her alluring body once more, then sealed each inch with a kiss. I savored Xiaoxue's beauty, kissing her from her
forehead down, not even sparing her eyelids, then her cheeks, neck, and shoulders, before finally leaning in to lick and lick her intoxicating armpits, sucking…
I licked each slender, jade-like finger, then savored the smooth, soft skin of her back, her round, pert buttocks, and every inch of her long, jade-like
feet . Xiaoxue, kissed all over her body, was almost completely limp, panting heavily, her eyes unfocused,
her small mouth only able to murmur softly.

Her lower garments had already been removed. After tasting each delicate toe, I slowly parted Xiaoxue's legs,
revealing two pale pink labia, with a large, sticky patch in the middle.
Her body didn't lie; it had responded to my intrusion with a joyful acclaim. However, as a woman with a sense of shame, having her most
private parts completely exposed to a man other than her husband, and even reacting with desire, filled Xiaoxue with
unbearable . She covered her face with her hands and sobbed softly.

I lowered my head and inhaled the faint, slightly fishy fragrance of orchids, which was intoxicating. I couldn't help but stick out my tongue and lick
the flesh of her honeyed orifice. Xiaoxue's previously limp body convulsed violently as if struck by an electric shock, then
tensed up
. With each lick, Xiaoxue stretched and bent like a rubber band. When I took a big sip, she arched back as if the string had broken, her whole body becoming paralyzed and relaxed, a long sigh escaping her throat.

I breathed deeply into the intoxicating fragrance, licking every crevice of her flower, constantly sipping the gushing nectar, and
curling waist arched and tightened at times, then curled and went limp at others; it was hard to tell
whether it was a thousand pleasures or ten thousand torments.

After enjoying the most enchanting flower in the world, I sipped the protruding stamen, then
licked straight up from there, her pubic hair, navel, cleavage, until I reached her lips. My whole body was now in position, and I prepared myself,
thrusting my manhood into her flower without reservation.

The glans of flesh pressed against the warm, moist mud, stretching open the tight walls of her flesh to reach the deepest part of her dream. Xiaoxue, who had
been weeping suddenly widened her almond-shaped eyes, her mouth slightly parted, staring at me with a face full of terror, experiencing
this important moment as I became her man.

Xiaoxue and I were finally one! I gazed at Xiaoxue with deep affection, my lower body beginning to
move rhythmically, from slow to fast. Xiaoxue looked at me with a face that was neither crying nor laughing, her lower body slowly twisting to meet my
thrusts . Encouraged, I moved faster and faster uncontrollably, and with a few powerful thrusts,
I couldn't help but ejaculate prematurely in the midst of overstimulation and excitement, a large amount of my pent-up seed violently
injected into the deepest part of Xiaoxue's dream. Xiaoxue seemed to sense it too, gripping my shoulders tightly with both hands, her starry eyes hazy,
her face flushed. Her feminine instincts transformed her back into a virtuous and submissive woman, accepting the man's seed and nourishment.

This moment was the ecstasy of my life, the pinnacle of my existence. I was united with the woman I loved most,
planting the seed of my deepest affection into her dreams, imprinting the most intimate mark on her life, making her my
woman, belonging only to me for life. After conception, Xiaoxue's entire body turned pink, a
blissful testament to her acceptance of my love.

We sat breathlessly face to face, gazing at each other. The woman before me had a beautiful blush on her face, her eyes watery and captivating
, gazing at me tenderly. Looking at such a moving face, I couldn't resist lowering my head
to kiss her again. This time, Xiaoxue didn't resist; instead, she opened her small mouth and extended her tongue to meet mine. Overjoyed, I
closed my eyes, savoring the passionate intertwining of our tongues. My manhood, which had remained undone deep within my dreams after our release,
began to stir again.

Xiaoxue, already melted by my presence, swayed her slender waist and lovingly embraced my head, allowing me to
kiss her all over her body. My back ached from working for so long, and I wanted to change positions, but I didn't want to leave Xiaoxue, afraid that
the seed I had just injected would overflow. I grabbed one of Xiaoxue's legs and, while still inside her, rotated her
body, turning her onto her stomach. As she was being rotated while still connected to me, Xiaoxue couldn't help but let out
a cry like a fairy.

After turning her over, I thrust my hips forward with a powerful, deep thrust, her plump buttocks, which looked even more exaggerated from
behind , slapped loudly with each impact. Xiaoxue, with her back to me, initially bit
her arm and endured it silently, but as the thrusts became more and more intense and frequent, she finally couldn't hold back and let out a roaring
cry.

The creaking of the bed frame and the slapping of flesh against flesh rose and fell, faster
and more and more frequently, until finally blending into a single, long sound. Xiaoxue, her hair disheveled and back to me, went from roaring to
opening but unable to utter a sound. I couldn't control myself, dominating the woman I loved most from behind, wantonly torturing and ravaging her
. Then, in the wildest posture, at the peak of pleasure, I once again ejaculated my
deep .

With each release, my penis felt the vaginal walls spasm and twitch, knowing that Xiaoxue was
simultaneously reaching a soul-stirring climax with me, leaving me utterly satisfied.

After the climax, my excited body calmed down slightly. I turned Xiaoxue over using the same movements as before, feeling the grinding and rotating at our point
of contact again. Xiaoxue cried out again, her voice like a sob.

We looked at each other face to face again. Xiaoxue, her body filled with my seed, had shed all her ladylike dignity and shyness.
Her hair was disheveled, her face flushed, her eyes half-open, her gaze fixed on my face with a wild, lustful light.

I kissed and caressed her tenderly, my manhood, which hadn't left my side for a moment, began to throb again without fatigue.
Xiaoxue gently hooked her arms around my neck, swaying her hips naturally, shamelessly displaying her erotic pleasure. Honeyed fluids overflowed from the depths of her
already swollen cavity, making beautiful "plop plop" sounds.

We were intertwined on the bed like two snakes, lost in endless ecstasy, giving and receiving again
and again , tenderly loving, joyfully entwined.

"Yusheng! What are you doing, you beast!?"

A sudden roar rang out from outside the door. Startled from our ecstasy, we both looked towards the door. My brother stood there,
his face purple, glaring at us and roaring!

Startled, I quickly regained my composure. I coldly got up and dressed, while
Xiaoxue , hid under the covers, utterly ashamed.

"It was me! I'm the one who violated Xiaoxue!" I said coldly to my brother.

There was no turning back. I couldn't lose Xiaoxue, I couldn't hand her back to my brother. I faced
the consequences without hesitation: either I got Xiaoxue, or I'd rather die!

"She's your sister-in-law! Are you even human?! I'll beat you to death, you beast!"

A powerful punch sent me flying, slamming me against the wall. My vision blurred, and I hadn't even recovered my senses.
Zhi, the second punch landed, and blood splattered everywhere. My brother, who had always loved me the most, was completely out of control, tears streaming down his face
, cornering me against the wall and brutally beating me.

I didn't fight back, nor did I argue. This was my choice. I didn't regret what I did, but
seeing Xiaoxue standing there, tears streaming down her face, my heart ached! Xiaoxue, I'm sorry! But this was
necessary , otherwise, as you said, we would have no future.

My brother, ten years older than me, had always felt the weight of being the head of the family. Although he was strict with me, he
had never physically punished his younger brother. I knew that behind the mask of a strict father, he had always loved me dearly. Now
, as my brother beat me like a madman, I clearly felt how much grief he felt, how disappointed he was in me, and
how deep his love for Xiaoxue was.

I'm sorry! Brother, falling in love with your sister-in-law, your brother has no way back. I have to take
this step. As long as I can overcome this hurdle, a bright future will lie ahead. Brother, hit me!
Beat me to death! But if you can't bring yourself to kill this beast, then Xiaoxue and I will run away together and live happily ever after
!

My brother beat, cursed, and cried all the while. Finally, his tears dried, his words ran dry, and he lost all control, unable to stop
hitting me. I felt my head was broken, my arms were severed, my sternum was fractured, and I was covered in blood from head to toe. My brother was also covered in
blood. I knew he didn't want to continue, I knew he kept telling himself to stop, but he just couldn't.
He couldn't face himself except by hitting me. One was his most beloved younger brother, the other his most cherished wife. Unable to face
reality my brother, like me, had no way out.

When I saw blood gushing from my throat, my swollen and mangled lips, battered by the blows,
still managed a final, bitter smile. I knew I was going to die! I really couldn't get through this. Just as Xiaoxue said,
we had no future!

"Stop! Feng Yang, don't hit him anymore! No... he didn't force me!"
Just as I was about to die, Xiao Xue, who had been silent all along, suddenly stepped forward to stop her husband. She was
speaking up ! I didn't know if she was sincere or just trying to save me; at that moment, I felt only silent gratitude and a secret joy. Xiao Xue
had finally taken the first step for me! If we could overcome this obstacle and take this step, a bright future would lie ahead
!

As soon as Xiao Xue finished speaking, my brother's fists stopped, his legs stopped. He stared blankly back at Xiao Xue, still wrapped in a quilt
on the bed , tears welling in his desperate eyes again. Xiao Xue's sobs
ceased. The surroundings were so quiet that only the sound of my own heartbeat could be heard. The nearly burnt-out candlelight flickered, and the silhouettes of all
the people and objects danced wildly on the wall like demons.

Without leaving a word, my brother abandoned my and Xiao Xue's mangled bodies and left the room, his steps as unsteady as the candlelight.
The next morning, the servants found my brother's already cold body, hanging from the west wing.

My family suffered a devastating blow. My father, heartbroken beyond tears, only uttered two sentences to me:
"Go! I never want to see you again in this life!"

That was the last time I saw my father's face. Alternating between lucidity and unconsciousness, I was too weak to even get out of bed.
Servants carried me in a carriage to my second uncle's house in the south of the city. I lay there for six months. When I was finally able to walk again
, I returned home, but the servants dared not let me in. My steward, Uncle Huai, who had always been kind to me, secretly told me that Xiaoxue had
returned to her maternal family in Shenyang shortly after I was sent away. I immediately rushed to Shenyang. Upon seeing me, Xiaoxue's family, without a word,
carried me out with a wooden cane. Three months later, when I went to find Xiaoxue again, I discovered that her entire family had moved away from Shenyang,
and I had lost all contact with them.

Years later, the eight-year War of Resistance against Japan broke out. In this time of national crisis, I wandered alone, searching for Xiaoxue
's family, but to no avail.

A few years later, I received a letter from my second uncle informing me of my father's passing. At that time, war raged,
Beiping fell, and communication was cut off. The letter, having been delivered through several detours, arrived three months
after my father's death, so I abandoned my risky plan to return to Beijing for the funeral.

More than a decade passed like flowing water until last year, when, on a sudden whim, I returned to
Beiping, which I had left more than ten years prior. My old home was deserted, with only a seventeen or eighteen-year-old
girl , Uncle Huai, tending to it. I felt a strange affection and admiration for this girl, yet she always seemed so distant, ultimately
unreachable.

After settling into the ancestral home, the girl and I went to pay our respects to my father. To my utter shock, I discovered
a new grave next to my father's and brother's tombs, inscribed "Tomb of Xiaoxue of the Huo Family of Fangmen!"

That very night, the girl who had been guarding the house vanished without a trace. The next morning, I went to Uncle Huai, and
only then did I learn that the strange girl was not his relative; her name was Fang. Light Rain!

Part Two

[Half a Lifetime's Fate]
As the station's grand clock struck seven again, the world had quietly changed. I returned to reality from the fleeting glimpses of
the past . I was still in my old family home, the winter morning light illuminating every
corner, the dark particles of last night completely gone.

However, I would not forget the fact that Xiaoxue was no longer alive
. The person who gave me the motivation to live was gone.

In reality, Xiaoxue was no longer alive. My chest felt like it had been ripped open. My mind
was filled with memories of living with Xiaoxue: the playful cobblestone path, the darkness of the air-raid shelter,
the cold wind blowing all night, the sound of the trees swaying, her favorite dragon beard noodles, the gentle moon, the winter morning sunlight,
and that unforgettable sweet profile.

This year, life and death intertwined, and I wandered alone in painful memories. The memories were
so real, yet reality was so illusory. Everything before me seemed unchanged; every day
was the same as the day before. I lost the continuity of time, lost my connection with the world.
Living ; there was no future, no direction. What I saw, knew, and felt only echoed hollowly, causing
a deep ache in my chest.

A year passed, and I finally recovered from the fact that Xiaoxue was dead. But the dead are gone, and
what about the living? Where is Xiaoyu now?

There were two knocks on the door.

"Second Young Master, it's me."

It was Uncle Huai, the butler.

The door opened, and Uncle Huai came in with a basin of hot water to help me wash.

"Uncle Huai, you don't need to serve me anymore. Over the years, I've traveled the world and learned to take care of myself. I'm not..."
" That pampered brat from back then."

"Of course, Uncle Huai is just a servant. I'm overjoyed to see you back, Second Young Master!"

"Yes, didn't you say that Miss Fang comes back every year around this time to pay respects to Eldest Brother and Young Madam
?"

"Oh! Ever since Miss Fang brought Young Madam's body back for burial four years ago, she's come back every winter
to stay for ten days or so to see her. You met her around this time last year, didn't you? But Second Young Master, you
're right, why hasn't Miss Fang appeared this year, even after the anniversary of Young Madam's death? Is there some kind of obstacle on her journey? Yes
, Second Young Master, the Japanese devils were only driven out a few years ago, and I heard that the country is about to go into civil war again. Do you think it might
really start?" "

How could I have the time to deal with the country's mess? My mind was preoccupied with Xiaoyu, and
I ignored . Seeing me standing there blankly, Uncle Huai understandingly stepped back.

Xiaoyu, are you avoiding me?

Suddenly, a shadow blocked the sunlight. I looked up at the window; the curtains were fluttering in the breeze.

Xiaoxue stood by the window, gazing at me with a sorrowful expression.

"Xiaoxue, can you tell me where Xiaoyu is?" Xiaoxue

shook her head slightly, then looked out the window towards East Street, her sorrow unchanged.

A gust of north wind blew, pulling the curtains up and obscuring Xiaoxue's figure. When they slowly fell back down
, Xiaoxue was gone.

In reality, Xiaoxue was no longer there.

I went to the window and saw a large crowd gathered in the direction of Tiananmen Square on East Street, a cacophony of voices. My
thoughts stirred, and I quickly washed and changed, then went out to see what was happening.

Thousands of students had gathered in the East Street area, marching and demonstrating under the banners of "anti-hunger," "anti-persecution," and "anti-Americanism
," waving flags, distributing leaflets, and chanting slogans. The military and police were on high
alert , the two sides on the verge of conflict.

I, who had never cared about the country, went into the crowd of onlookers and looked around. For a moment
, I didn't even know why I was standing there, or what I was looking for.

Suddenly, every nerve in my body tensed up. In the dense crowd, I saw
the figure of a girl with a long braid!

Just then, a gunshot rang out from somewhere, and the thousands of people in the crowd instantly
erupted into chaos, the situation spiraling out of control. Citizens scattered, students rushed towards the police and soldiers, and the police and soldiers rushed towards
the students . Many people were shouting, many were crying, some fell, some lay on the ground, and then
two or three more gunshots rang out intermittently. The situation was utter chaos.

I rushed to the spot where I had seen the girl, but she was nowhere to be seen amidst the chaotic crowd
.

Was she Xiaoyu? Was she Xiaoyu? Was she...? Not Xiaoyu?

A wave of panic washed over me. Suddenly, a military policeman, wielding a wooden baton, rushed towards me. Seeing my worn-out beige
long gown probably assumed I was a professor from Peking University.

I stood there, stunned, my mind blank. Just as I was about to be struck on the head, a small stone flew
out of nowhere and hit the policeman in the face. He collapsed in pain, clutching his face. Before I
could even react, someone grabbed my right hand and pulled me away.

We burst through the crowd. She pulled me along, and I was pulled along behind her
, as if we were escaping the shackles of the world, breaking free from worldly constraints. It felt as if the world had shrunk to just the
two of , and we were adrift in the wind, wandering to the ends of the earth. I ran and ran with her, and before me stretched a long
braid . Her hair swayed straight, brushing against my face. The intoxicating scent of roses was captivating; I recognized
it I'd smelled it last year, and I'd smelled it twenty years ago.

Finally away from the crowd, we ran to a secluded alley to catch our breath.

As I panted, I confirmed my identity with the person who had saved me. The girl before me had a long
braid, eyes like dark ink dots, lips like ripe peaches, and a clear, bright face with a hint of melancholy and a
touch of wildness—like a forest sprite with two transparent wings, fallen to earth from Western mythology.

She was the girl who had brought me to my senses and simultaneously made me lose myself again in the Fang family mansion last year.

Her name was: Fang Xiaoyu!

Xiaoyu, her breathing catching, gave me a hostile look, then said, "I'm leaving!" She
got up and turned to leave.

I grabbed her hand, not letting her go. Our skin touched again, and the emotions of that night in the ancestral home last year stirred once
more . Those fragments of memory, which often unintentionally knocked on my heart,
replayed in my mind like a film…

“I…I’m sorry! Mr. Fang, I didn’t know you would come here, Uncle Huai…I heard you haven’t
been back for over ten years, so…” “

It’s alright. Hey! What’s your name?” “

I…my name is…Fang…” “

Fang? Your name is Fang?” “

Yes…just call me Xiao Fang! …Come on! Let me get your luggage for you.”
“No need, I can do it myself.”

………

“Sir, how are you?” “You

’re much better now.” “

Yes, sir, who was that woman in the grave this morning…” “

She? …She…is my sister-in-law.” “

Sister-in-law? But you seemed very sad just now.” “

Yes! I was really sad!” "Because...she is the woman I love most in my life!" "

What? Then...but...

" "But she is my sister-in-law! Although it shouldn't be, I just love her! I still love
her like this to this day!" "

This...this...sir, can you tell Xiaofang about your past with her?"

...

Sir, do you still think about Xiaoxue?" "

Of course I do! To this moment, she is still in my heart, influencing my life, influencing my destiny.
I cannot let go of the past, I cannot start over. How can you expect me not to think about her?" "

But last night..."

...

Xiaoxue couldn't bear the burden of her mind and reality under the cold gaze of worldly authority and morality to complete
the so-called path of life. She died because of you, and yet you think about women every day!
What have you done for Xiaoxue? "

Last...last night I'm so sorry! It's just...last night you reminded me of Xiaoxue, your back view was...like her!"

...

"Xiao...Xiao Fang? What are you doing?" I

was so drunk and dizzy that I couldn't make a definite judgment.

Xiao Yu stood in front of me wearing Xiao Xue's pajamas from back then. "

I just want you to know that I really did like you back then!

"...

"Let go of me! What are you doing?" Xiao Yu forcefully shook off my hand, and the flashback to last year's scene in the big house in my
mind abruptly ended.

Returning to the present, after a brief standoff, I spoke first: "Xiao Yu, aren't you going to pay respects to your mother anymore?"

"What did you say? What Xiao Yu? What do you mean you're not going to pay respects to my mother?" The little girl stammered.

"I've met Uncle Huai. He told me your name is Fang Xiao Yu, and four years ago, you were the one who brought Xiao Xue back
to be buried ."

Xiao Yu turned her face away from me, her tail swishing back and forth like a pendulum.

"I'm asking you, aren't you going to pay respects to your mother anymore?"

"...I already did, but I've been staying at the hotel. I originally planned...to stay at the main
house for a few days after you left." Her eyes darted around, but she still wouldn't look at me.

Oh, right! Remembering what happened at the main house last year, it's only natural she felt awkward in front of me.

"It's chaotic around here now. A girl like you getting caught by the military or police would be in big trouble. Let's go to the hotel to check out, and we'll
figure it out back at the main house."

"I'm not going back!" She turned her head away, a defiant flick.

"You weren't going back to the main house to avoid me, but now that you can't avoid me, what are you doing outside?"

Xiaoyu was speechless for a moment, unable to argue with me, and I half-dragged her back to the main house.

The Fang family mansion, spanning over three generations, sits at the very end of Jizhao Hutong in Beiping, weathered by time. Far from
the bustling city center, it is surrounded by lush greenery. After a snowfall, the entire mansion is enveloped in a rich sense of antiquity
, showcasing the most traditional courtyard house structure.

Entering through the red-lacquered gate with its lion-head bronze rings, and passing through the corridors of the rear building and the hanging flower gate, one arrives at
the spacious filled with potted plants and flowers. Behind the inner courtyard is the main house, with the east wing to the right and the west wing to the left. In the past, the elderly father
and his wives and concubines all lived in the main house, while the eldest son traditionally lived in the east wing, and the other family members lived in the west wing. However, due to
the sheer size of the house, the east wing was divided into front and back rooms for my brother and me, while the west wing served as guest rooms for
entertaining guests. The east wing itself is already quite magnificent, with a pond garden and a small
pavilion at the end of the corridors of the left and right side rooms, planted with jujube and grapevines year-round. The corridor area exudes a sense of endless charm. On the
morning , I sat there alone, silently shedding tears.

Twenty years later, Xiaoyu and I sat in the spot where Xiaoxue sat back then. I was telling Xiaoyu about the first time I saw Xiaoxue cry
that night , while Xiaoyu silently threw pebbles into the pond, causing the carp
to scatter in all directions.

I asked her, "Xiaoyu, how have you and your daughter been all these years?" She told

me that ever since I went to Shenyang to find Xiaoxue and was taken away, Xiaoxue's shameful affair with her husband's family could no longer
be hidden . Whether it was voluntary or forced, a woman who has lost her virginity is considered wicked. Gossip is a terrible thing, and the Huo family
suffered constant cold stares and whispers from all sides. Xiaoxue, pregnant and heavily pregnant, was even attacked when she went out. The Huo family
was so ashamed that they had no choice but to move to Liaoning. There, Master Huo sought refuge with a sworn
brother who had business dealings with the Japanese. No one there knew the Huo family, and no one would find them. Even if someone knew about Xiaoxue's affair, they couldn't afford
to offend .

Then I remembered Xiaoxue's sorrowful words on the banks of Beidaihe: "Yusheng, you will never understand
the sorrow of being a girl!" A deep sadness welled up inside me.

The discriminatory glances and cold mockery from everyone around her were the accumulated, invisible wounds. Because of herself, she had harmed
her entire family, and Xiaoxue could never forgive herself. She was constantly depressed, and after giving birth to Xiaoyu, she was
plagued . When Xiaoyu was ten years old, Xiaoxue, who had no will to live,
left this world with an unresolved heartache. Later, as the Japanese army suffered defeat after defeat, many areas and transportation were reopened. Xiaoxue's
younger brother, who loved her and her daughter dearly, took the fourteen-year-old Xiaoyu to send Xiaoxue back to Beiping for a peaceful burial, fulfilling Xiaoxue
's wish to "be born a member of the Fang family, and die a ghost of the Fang family."

When I regained some composure, I found myself silently shedding tears under the starry winter night, while
Xiaoyu her head resting on my shoulder, was also weeping uncontrollably. Before I knew it, it was evening. I cried silently, tears welling up in
my eyes only to flow again immediately. The once peaceful house, the ancient trees, the pavilions, even my
own feet suddenly felt burning hot in the cold wind. My breath caught in my throat; I was overwhelmed with grief.

"Why weren't you with us then?" Xiaoyu said softly, her voice so much like her mother's.

I was speechless.

"Where's your uncle? Why are you the only one who's come back these past two years?" After a moment, I spoke again, putting my hand on
Xiaoyu's shoulder. She didn't stop me.

"He's dead. He was killed two years ago when the Japanese army retreated, for my sake." Xiaoyu's voice was cold and
lifeless .

"And you, a young girl, have been the only one to return home alone these past two years. What's wrong with the Huo family?!"

Xiaoyu didn't reply. Her silence was the answer. It was so clear that,
apart , the entire Huo family hadn't treated this ill-fated mother and daughter well.

"Please stay. Don't go back to the Northeast." I gently stroked her hair.

"No, I have to catch the train back tomorrow morning. I was planning to go to the station to buy a ticket this morning." Xiaoyu kept
fiddling with the end of her braid.

"Why are you rushing back?"

"To get married."

"Get married!? You're only eighteen, why are you in such a hurry to get married?" I was utterly astonished, turning to look at
Xiaoyu.

She suddenly stood up, her large, dark eyes glaring at me with surprise and anger: "Why!? You
're asking me why!? You really don't understand why I'm in such a hurry to get married!?" With that, she ran away.

Back at the door of the room where my older brother Xiaoxue had lived, Xiaoxue didn't turn around and coldly said, "You wouldn't understand the sorrow of
being a girl!" Then she closed the door.

Suddenly, it dawned on me. I was such a rash fool. Of course, Xiaoyu's eagerness to find her master's family
was all because of me!

A year ago, in winter, I met Xiaoyu in this big house. I thought she was an ordinary servant.
When we went to pay respects to my father and brother, I was shocked to find Xiaoxue's grave next to us. In my extreme grief, I
told Xiaoyu about my past with Xiaoxue and confessed my feelings for Xiaoxue over the past twenty years.

That night, the wind and snow howled outside, the wind lashing against the paper windows with a muffled, almost tearing them apart
. We were both drunk. Suddenly, Xiaoyu changed into her mother's clothes from twenty years ago and came to me,
gazing at me tenderly, saying, "I just want you to know that I truly loved you back then!"

Drunk and incoherent, I mistook Xiaoyu for Xiaoxue and pulled her into bed! A night of madness
ensued, and the next morning Xiaoyu vanished without a word.

That year, I searched everywhere, never imagining Xiaoyu would be in the most turbulent Northeast. I couldn't find her.
The only thing I learned from Uncle Huai was that for the past four winters, Xiaoyu had always returned to pay respects to her mother. Therefore, this
winter, I stayed at the ancestral home, waiting for her return.

It was late at night, and all around was deathly quiet, utterly silent, not even the wind could be heard. I lay on my bed in
my room, staring blankly into the void. The silent night intensified the inexplicable sorrow. I gazed up at the night sky through
the skylight , but amidst the array of constellations in the clear winter night, I couldn't find my way in the darkness.

In the vast, dark night, with everyone asleep, I was utterly alone, unable to sleep, my heart in turmoil.
Today, I reunited with Xiaoyu, but tomorrow, when the light rises above the horizon, I will
lose Xiaoyu again. I know very well that after tomorrow's parting, we will never see each other again in this life. I will lose Xiaoyu forever
, and my last connection with Xiaoxue will be severed forever.

Lost in thought, tossing and turning, I suddenly felt the door creak open, letting in a blurry, pale moonlight.
I looked out from the dim room, and the bright moonlight illuminated the graceful
figure of . The fairy stood woodenly in the doorway, looking at me, her long, flowing hair cascading over her shoulders.

Of course I recognized the visitor as Xiaoyu, but Xiaoxue had been appearing in my dreams and in my sleep, giving
me a sense of unreality. I couldn't be sure of anything, and the woman before me made my heart pound.

She came in and sat down on the bedside, then without a word, ran into the covers and lay down
beside .

"I'm cold! I don't want to sleep alone!" she said, her back to me. It

was definitely Xiaoyu.

I never expected Xiaoyu to be so affectionate with me. In the starlight of the night, I felt a strong sense of happiness at Xiaoyu's sudden affection
—a slightly guilty yet exceptionally sweet happiness. I thought that as long as the sun
didn't , she would stay by my side forever, comforting me.

Like everyone else, I once had my family, but as time passed, they
left my world one by one, leaving me all alone. Looking back, everything before me seems like a mirage, a reflection
in water . Why am I the only one still alive? In this big house where I grew up, I
've clearly spent many years, so why am I the only one left in the end?

It turns out I'm not alone! Today I realized I'm not alone after all! Ahead of me is Xiaoyu, and
behind Xiaoyu is me. Tonight I no longer feel lonely. This place might be the peaceful haven I've always dreamed of, a place where I can
forget today and stop thinking about the future.
"Xiaoyu, who are your husband's family?" I asked tentatively.

"Not really," she said coldly.

"How can you not know?! What's wrong with you?" I even adopted a stern father's tone.

"Ever since my mother died, my in-laws have been constantly asking matchmakers to introduce me to potential spouses, as if they really want to send me
off as soon as possible. But they've never forced me. It was last year... After I went back, I was so anxious.
I just wanted a family to take me as soon as possible. I didn't even know who was proposing, and I agreed without thinking. I never expected the marriage
to take a whole year. Luckily, my belly... didn't... get bigger, otherwise... I'm afraid I
wouldn't even be able to live anymore."

Sigh! It really is because of me!

"Is it really impossible not to go back?"

"My mother has already caused my in-laws so much suffering. How can you expect me to hurt them again?"

"But are you willing to accept this?"

"Whether I am or not, this is the fate of a daughter."

Her tone didn't sound like that of an eighteen-year-old girl, but rather like that of a weathered, white-haired palace maid. Her words
left a sorrowful premonition, slowly seeping into my heart. The sorrowful footprints left by Xiaoxue are now
being trampled upon step by step by Xiaoyu.

The fragmented words of Xiaoyu that reached my ears left me feeling utterly lost. Heartfelt conversations at night
always carry a sense of loneliness, and knowing the truth often brings sorrow. Like a guilty child, I
listened listlessly, caught between self-reproach and unease.

Then, Xiaoyu slowly turned to face me. We were face to face, our noses almost touching. I smelled
her sweet breath and saw the starlight in her eyes.

This scene felt strangely familiar. Twenty years ago, Xiaoxue and I were in an air-raid shelter…

Xiaoyu looked into my eyes and gently stroked my face.

“Before Mother died, she kept talking about you and her. She told me that my father was an absolute
villain!”

Although I had long accepted that Xiaoyu was my daughter, I couldn't completely rule out the possibility that she was my brother's child.
But now, hearing it from Xiaoyu's own lips, I felt a powerful surge of emotion. The person sleeping next to me was my own daughter! My own daughter

with whom I had shared intimacy a year ago ! "She told me a lot about you. She said you bullied her in the air-raid shelter, often staring blankly at her body, and she even knew you often spied on her after she bathed!" My face flushed red as my own daughter recounted all my youthful misdeeds, and I didn't know what to say. "Mother also told me that my father was handsome, with a melancholic and endearing expression, the kind of child who, no matter what he did, no one could get angry at. So… so it's true! My father is over forty years old, but still has a handsome face, looks like a down-on-his-luck thirty-year-old, and has the personality of a sentimental, melancholic twenty-year-old…" Xiaoyu's delicate hand stroked my face, confirming my ears, then traced the shape An intangible emotion enveloped my entire body, and I felt a surge of excitement, as if struck by lightning. "My parents' story is tragic, yet romantic. Everyone has their own idealized romantic love story, and my parents' story is Xiaoyu's childhood fantasy and hope. How wonderful it would be to love passionately and unconditionally at least once in a lifetime! Since I was little, I've wanted to see if my father was as my mother said, the kind of man who could captivate a daughter's soul."

"You big bad guy, love stories are actually true! If I were your mother, I..." Xiaoyu's pupils shone with
an unusual light, her breath tickling my face. I remembered what happened on this bed last winter
, and my heart stirred.

"Xiaoyu, I'm your father. And you, you're about to become someone else's wife." My mind was in turmoil.

"I know! I'll never have another chance for love, and we, father and daughter, are
destined for hell! Just because I'm about to leave you, Father, can I be your Xiaoxue one more time? Just
this once! There won't be a next time!" "

Indeed, my daughter and I can never be reborn as humans. Worldly affairs will have nothing to do with us anymore!"
Before my thoughts could settle, Xiaoyu's lips were already firmly pressed against mine.

A year ago, I didn't know Xiaoyu's true identity that night, but now, lying in bed with my eighteen-year-old daughter
, kissing her, it was an unprecedented feeling. My heart
trembled , every cell in my body roared fiercely—not in pain, but

in jubilation! Go to hell! Be heretical! Never be reincarnated! Who says a sister-in-law and brother-in-law can't love each other? Who
says a father and daughter can't share shoes? It's the so-called shackles of worldly ethics and morality that have plunged Xiaoyu and me
into an abyss. Xiaoyu's... My life is ruined, my first half of life is ruined too. Twenty years ago I was so
reckless , but today, with only a shaky life and a tiny bit of time left, what am I still
struggling for? Whether it's Xiaoyu, Xiaoxue, my daughter, or my sister-in-law, we
're having an immoral and illicit affair, so what? Can fate control me?

With my mind made up, I turned and pressed Xiaoyu down on my lips, my tongue slowly parting her teeth and invading her mouth. Xiaoyu
was startled at first, then slowly closed her eyes and relaxed her body, enjoying her father's French kiss.

While I licked my daughter's delicate tongue, my hands were also busy exploring her breasts. Xiaoyu's breasts weren't
large, but lying down like small dumplings, they were still high and firm, feeling full and full. The unique texture of a developing young girl
.

With her clothes undone, I kissed Xiaoyu's small mouth, leaving no part of her neck, collarbone, or shoulders untouched.
Then, calmly and slowly, I admired the alluring lines of her half-naked upper body. Seeing Xiaoyu shyly close her eyes and
turn her face away, I lowered my head and gently tasted her already erect nipples, my tongue lingering around them. Xiaoyu's
brow furrowed, as if in pain, yet also in ecstasy.

I kissed from the nipple to the base, then sought her armpit, deeply inhaling her rose-like, youthful fragrance, gently licking and biting her
sparse, grassy armpit hair. Whether ticklish or shy, Xiaoyu dodged left and right, preventing me from licking her. I could only
bury my face in her small breasts for comfort. Xiaoyu held my head tenderly, we whispered sweet nothings in each other's
ears , and whispered tenderly. Gentle and tender.

In the midst of our intimacy, I reached between Xiaoyu's legs. The most private part of the girl was
being caressed by a man's dirty hand. She instinctively clenched her fists, then slowly relaxed, fully revealing the restlessness and
unease .

I pressed down on Xiaoyu's slightly protruding mound, then squeezed it forcefully. Xiaoyu immediately trembled
, curling up like a shrimp. I pulled down her trousers, my middle finger plunging into her tender crevice,
gently probing with each stroke. With each stroke, Xiaoyu trembled.

After a while, I pulled out my middle finger, which was covered in clumps of sticky liquid. I put it
in my mouth ; it was the unique taste of my own daughter's nectar, and I wanted to savor it.

Xiaoyu pulled my hand away: "No! It's dirty!"

"Xiaoyu's isn't dirty! It's fragrant and sweet; I want to eat it in big mouthfuls!" I spread Xiaoyu's legs,
which were already overflowing with moisture. I lowered my head and sucked and licked with abandon. Xiaoyu's body stiffened from my ministrations,
her hands flailing wildly, moaning incoherently.

The wetter she became, the more I sucked, and the wetter she became, her private parts a vast ocean. By this time, Xiaoyu was somewhat delirious, her waist
and legs spasming and twitching repeatedly, her eyes half-closed, only able to murmur "No...no..."

I lifted Xiaoyu's dazed legs onto my shoulders, aligned my incredibly hard penis, and slowly
sank into the overflowing, blissful dream. My own flesh and blood were finally united, my organs intertwined, enveloped
in my daughter's warm, soft, and slippery flesh. The transcendent, soul-stirring sensation was like ascending to
paradise , incomparable to any ordinary woman without blood ties.

Xiaoyu, jolted awake by my thrusts, opened her eyes and looked at me.

"Does it hurt?" "I asked with tenderness.

"No." Xiaoyu shook her head with a smile: "But, last year I was in pain for two days!" After saying that, Xiaoyu giggled playfully
and shyly, then hugged me tightly.

Our tongues intertwined again. I held Xiaoyu, my lower body slowly rubbing against hers, then steadily
and densely thrusting. Xiaoyu's waist swayed back and forth, trembling, welcoming my thrusts.

The movements became faster and faster, and honey-like fluids splattered from deep within Xiaoyu. Her face flushed red, her expression twitching as if she were crying and laughing
, and her breathing became more and more rapid. I originally had the ability to maintain it for a little longer, but I didn't want to suppress my instinctive
desire. I lowered Xiaoyu's legs, so that our bodies could be completely pressed together in an embrace. I hugged Xiaoyu tightly and
thrust with all my might. Xiaoyu tightened her face and bit my shoulder, her fingers digging deep into my back muscles.

"Call me Daddy!"

"Daddy!"

"Call me again!"

"Daddy...Daddy!"

Seeing Xiaoyu's distressed expression as she looked at me, repeatedly calling out "Daddy," I realized that I was
defiling my own daughter! That feeling of defying heaven and committing incest filled me with unparalleled excitement. "

Daddy...Daddy...Hehe...Daddy...Daddy...Hehe..."

Reaching the peak of my passion, I merged with Xiaoyu in spirit and body, inseparable, and
planted the seed of incest deep within her heart.

Although it wasn't our first time together, this was the first time I, as Xiaoyu's father, had completely possessed
my own daughter, planting the seed of incest within my own flesh and blood. What father and daughter in the world could be as intimate as
we were ? I was certain that it wasn't because I loved Xiaoxue, but because I truly loved Xiaoyu. She was
Pandora's box filled with all the memories and secrets of Xiaoxue and me, the most precious
treasure . I so sincerely wanted to possess her, this woman who possessed half of my body and half of Xiaoxue's.
My precious daughter, Xiaoyu, I need nothing else.

I lay panting on top of Xiaoyu, unwilling to leave her, but undeniably, I was getting on in years. After
my release my penis involuntarily softened and withdrew from her. Still burning with desire, I had a sudden inspiration. I
climbed up and straddled Xiaoyu's head, placing my limp penis in her mouth.

Xiaoyu stared in astonishment, looking at my face and then at my penis, unsure what to do. She was, after all, just
a traditional, virtuous woman, how could she know the pleasures between men and women?

"Xiaoyu, be good, put it in your mouth, don't be afraid, every woman serves a man like this." I
was actually lying to my own daughter! How many virtuous women would do such a thing? In fact
, even in the Eight Great Hutongs, not all prostitutes were willing to do this; only lower-class prostitutes wearing suggestive rings
would provide such lewd services.

Xiaoyu believed me. Her feminine instincts led her, half-frightened, to slowly take that ugly
thing into her mouth. Instantly, a hot, wet, tingling sensation spread through my penis, giving me unparalleled pleasure. At that
moment, my own daughter was tasting the very thing that gave birth to her, inhaling
the faint, fishy smell of her father's semen, stimulating her father's lust with her tongue—both vulgar and shameless, yet intoxicatingly pleasurable.

I thrust in and out of Xiaoyu's mouth, instructing her on how to lick. At first, Xiaoyu obeyed
shyly and clumsily, but slowly, driven by primal female desire, she began to actively and rhythmically suck and lick.
Stimulated by my daughter's most vulgar techniques, my penis quickly became erect again. I signaled Xiaoyu
to stop and turn over, lying prone. I entered from behind, and we intercourse again.

I thrust into her from behind, my hands busy reaching for Xiaoyu's swaying, beautiful breasts, and
kissing her smooth, jade-like back. The incestuous act of mating with her father, a posture fit for animals, filled Xiaoyu with unbearable shame. She
buried her face in the blankets, enduring my thrusts. I wanted to thoroughly humiliate and discipline her. I grabbed her
long , pulling her face up, her open mouth emitting moans of "Ooh... Ooh..."

I grabbed her arms, lifting her entire upper body off the blankets. Kneeling on the bed, she
and I shared only one point of contact, completely unable to resist my relentless thrusts, her
cries of "Ooh... Ooh... Ooh... Ooh..." rising and falling.

With a final, powerful thrust, I released her, and Xiaoyu flew to the corner of the bed like a rag doll, her buttocks facing the sky,
the pent-up nectar gushing from her vagina. Such a wondrous sight! I couldn't help but lower my head to drink the sweet nectar of
the willow branch . Xiaoyu, her body limp and powerless, could only utter two sharp sounds, letting me indulge
in the sensation of being freely consumed by my father.

I laid Xiaoyu on the bed like a doll, and we resumed our usual face-to-face position. Looking at
Xiaoyu now, her skin was a patchwork of red and white, radiating a blush of pleasure, and her intoxicating fragrance was even
stronger—beautiful yet tender. I embraced her and kissed her deeply, then pulled her hands apart, licking her areolas and armpits from left to right and then
right to left. Xiaoyu opened her arms, generously allowing me to suckle. At this moment, her
mouth was half-open, her eyes incredibly alluring, displaying her pleasure and desire without any shame.

I swayed my hips, rubbing and thrusting, constantly changing the direction and intensity of our intercourse, exploring
the most sensitive and moving places deep within Xiaoyu's heart. Suddenly, Xiaoyu let out a gasp. I pinpointed the point of impact and
attacked with all my might. Xiaoyu's face tightened, and she gripped my arm tightly, tears of pleasure streaming down her face. I
drew concentrating my attack on that one spot with maximum force and amplitude. With a final, all-out thrust, I felt
the strongest spasmodic fetal movements emanating from the depths of Xiaoyu's dream. Nectar gushing forth from her climax splashed continuously from the crevices. My
manhood, deep in its blissful dream, felt a violent impact like an earthquake or tsunami. Infected by this, I also reached my peak, ejaculating the sacred seed of incest with the most
exhilarating feeling.

All night, frost and snow fell outside the room, while Xiaoyu and I entwined inside, cuddling and playing together afterward.
After resting, she would use her little mouth to revitalize me, and the two of us would unite again. All night long, I used
every position I had ever learned to make love to Xiaoyu. By the third time, she no longer needed to ask; she would actively use her mouth to
revive me. I said I was tired, and she even took the initiative to sit on top of me, swaying and twisting like a thirsty woman. In just one
night, I had trained my daughter into a little prostitute. Time passed slowly, my back ached, my penis hurt
, and I even missed my climax, but I still couldn't stop. Father and daughter were intertwined in a spiritual union until dawn. We were
both oblivious to the act of stealing, and also oblivious to the escape.

The large clock at the South City Station had already struck six. The bright
sunlight
streamed in through the bedroom window. Soon, after the clock struck seven, Uncle Huai, the housekeeper, would knock on the door with warm water for washing. At this moment, I sat exhausted on the edge of the bed, while Xiaoyu, her naked body bathed in the morning light, was still
sucking on my genitals. I told Xiaoyu to stop, but she ignored me and continued sucking desperately.

"Alright, alright. Uncle Huai should be here soon," I said weakly.

Xiaoyu still ignored me and continued sucking. I felt a few warm drops of water dripping onto my lower abdomen,
more and more, until they even dripped down my genitals. I was speechless, heartbroken.

After the last two drops of fluid were extracted from my seminal vesicles, Xiaoyu didn't even vomit. She returned to her room just before Uncle
Huai knocked on the door. We changed our clothes and left the room as if nothing had happened,
ate breakfast as if nothing had happened, and then went out into the biting cold wind of a winter morning in Beiping, heading to the North City
Station .

The streets were constantly sifted by the misty snow. Looking ahead, all I could see was a hazy white fog where the sky met the ground
, and the horizon was blurred. The rickshaw arrived at the North Station. The station, filled with a melancholic atmosphere in winter,
was shrouded in a thin layer of white morning mist and snow. Perhaps because it was still early, the station was deserted; only
porters and rickshaw drivers in yellow uniforms were idling, and a few stalls were selling steaming hot snacks and breakfasts. I bought
a first-class ticket to Liaoning at the ticket office; the train would depart in half an hour.

Xiaoyu and I sat silently on a bench on the platform, surrounded by a white morning mist. The scenery was
so hazy, as if we were separated from the world by the fog, abandoned on its edge. Sadly, these two
lost souls, on this small path of life, could never find their way back to each other.
And when the mist cleared, we would be forever separated.

"Shall I go buy you something hot to eat on the train?" I asked, glancing at Xiaoyu beside me.

"Don't you dare run away!"

Xiaoyu was already weeping.

Soon, the train arrived. We remained seated on the bench, motionless. Xiaoyu rested her head on my shoulder, her left hand
's fingers weaving between my right. We both had so
much yet we didn't know where to begin, or how much we could express.

Of all those words, the one I couldn't tell Xiaoyu was my promise and vow as her man
.

New black smoke rose from the train's chimney, and the engine room began adding fuel to prepare for the new journey. Hearing
the train 's whistle, Xiaoyu gripped my hand even tighter.

This was the end of our journey; Xiaoyu and I would be forever separated. Time was running
out. I half-dragged, half-pushed Xiaoyu onto the train. As soon as she boarded, she found a window seat, half her body
peering through the window, weeping as she gazed at me.

That one glance became your final farewell; any further lingering would only add to the sorrow. I suppressed
the agonizing pain in my heart and turned away without looking back. I thought of Xiaoyu still weeping as she watched my retreating figure, and
a pang of heartache shot through me again.

The train slowly pulled away.

Farewell, Xiaoyu.

Farewell, Xiaoxue.

My heart ached so much that I couldn't help but cover my face with my hands, close my eyes, and sob uncontrollably.

In my closed eyes, Xiaoxue appeared before me again. Before me,

Xiaoxue sat coldly, turned to the side, on the pavilion, watching the pattering rain outside, her face filled with sorrow and bitterness.

Xiaoxue stared blankly at the raindrops outside the pavilion. Suddenly, she stretched her hands out over the eaves
to catch the raindrops. Then, she turned back to me with pleading eyes, extending her rain-soaked hands
towards me…

“Xiaoyu!” I snapped my eyes open and turned around angrily.

My shout drowned out the surrounding noise. The men and women waiting to pick up and drop off the train were startled and stared at me
in silence , including Xiaoyu, whose eyes had never left me.

The train had slowly started moving. I took off running, catching up to Xiaoyu, who was still leaning out the window, and ran
alongside .

“Xiaoyu, I’m telling you, you are my woman! I will not allow you to marry any other man! You will always
belong to me!” I shouted at Xiaoyu.

On the train, Xiaoyu covered her face and shook her head repeatedly, saying emotionally, “No, no,
it’s impossible…”

"I don't care about it, okay! Let me tell you, I, Fang Yusheng, am a genuine villain! No matter
where you marry, I will come looking for you, I will find you, destroy your marriage, and then steal you away! I, Fang Yusheng ,
mean what I say!"

The train was about to leave the platform, and I was extremely anxious. I continued to shout out my true feelings: "Xiaoyu, you
have no choice! No one else's happiness is more important than your own! You will have your own
love story! As for you and me, we were destined for hell long ago, so what's there to worry about? Why do you care about others
? Don't care what others think of you, how others look at you has nothing to do with you! Back then, Xiaoxue
had the right to choose but resigned herself to it. What she couldn't do, you will do today! Come! Xiaoyu! Come back to me!
Come with me!"

Hearing my confession, Xiaoyu, her eyelashes fluttering with tears, covered her face and nodded repeatedly. Though she didn't show it outwardly,
she was filled with joy. She was going all out! She grabbed her small suitcase and ran to the doorless
exit , but the train kept accelerating, and Xiaoyu stood hesitant and afraid at the exit.

With only ten feet or so to the edge of the platform, I opened my arms to welcome Xiaoyu: "Xiaoyu, don't think about anything!
Look at me! Jump!"

Xiaoyu leaped out of the carriage and pounced into my arms. We fell to the ground, rolling and rolling,
doing more than ten tumbles before finally stopping at the edge of the platform.

I lay on the edge of the platform holding Xiaoyu, and she lay on top of me, holding me back. The surrounding scenery spun around us
, the world suddenly seemed so vast, the whole world revolving around us, boundless and
limitless .

Before we could even calm down, ignoring our injuries, Xiaoyu and I kissed passionately on the platform.

A commotion arose around the platform; some gasped, some cursed us for our indecent behavior, a few
clapped and cheered, but most stared in stunned silence.

If they knew we were father and daughter, I wonder what they would think?

The onlookers were chattering and making a racket, so Xiaoyu and I stopped kissing and stood up. I grabbed
Xiaoyu and ran. The crowd we pushed through shouted insults:

"What kind of despicable couple are these?" "Kissing in broad daylight in the street, they're like mothers who have no fathers
!" "An old man and a young girl, what kind of relationship do they have?"

All sorts of vile insults rose and fell, but amidst the curses, I heard someone say with a
blessing:

"You've got guts! Go for it!"

As we got away from the crowd, the last sentence drifted into our ears:

"They're a perfect match!"

I turned around and smiled at Xiaoyu. I pulled Xiaoyu along, and she was pulled
along , just like when we met during the student demonstration yesterday. This feeling was sweet. The whole view
was so clear, the world was so vast, seemingly infinitely far away, yet within reach. We
were like a pair of notorious thieves, wanted by the world. I took her with me, we fled across the desolate lands, adrift in the wind, escaping this
absurd world, running to the ends of the earth to spend the rest of our lives together.
[The End]
After Xiaoyu gave up on returning to Liaoning, I wrote a letter to the Huo family explaining the situation and apologizing, stating that Xiaoyu would
go back to her biological father. Afterwards, Xiaoyu and I wandered the world, making our home wherever we could, to avoid being found by the Huo family.

Not long after, the national regime changed, and large numbers of refugees fled to Hong Kong, Taiwan, Macau, and
other Southeast Asian countries for refuge. Taking advantage of this opportunity, I took Xiaoyu to Hong Kong, the place where I had studied in my youth.
Xiaoyu and I became Hong Kong citizens as refugees. Xiaoyu, who had simply registered her citizenship, had no legal
connection to me. We officially registered our marriage in Hong Kong, becoming a legal couple. I never dreamed that Xiaoyu and I,
father and daughter, could legally register as husband and wife, settling down in Hong Kong where no one knew us. My life's...
My wandering life came to an end at this point.

The following year, Xiaoyu became pregnant. The night before she gave birth, I saw Xiaoxue in my dream. She
appeared in my dream for the first time under the bright sunlight, smiling happily at me. The next day, Xiaoyu gave birth to a daughter,
whom I named Fang Xiaoxue.

This was the last time I saw Xiaoxue. After that, Xiaoxue never appeared in my dreams again.
[A Lifetime of Love. The End.]

[Appendix]

Snow Still Falling

On the train back to Beijing, I remained silent, silently perplexed by the purpose of this trip.

I hadn't originally planned to return to my ancestral home in Beiping. After finishing my business in Tianjin, for some reason, instead of
heading back to Guangzhou, I transferred to Beiping, which I had left more than ten years ago. Why did I do this? I couldn't even figure it
out myself.

However, when I got off at the East Station and saw the long corridor lined with locust trees and old wisteria,
a feeling of "home" suddenly welled up in my heart. Even though there were only ten days left until the winter solstice, and frost and snow were already falling, with a biting cold,
this scene still made my swollen clothes feel warm.

But what did that feeling of "home" really mean to me? Since my father passed away, we've
been all alone! I'm middle-aged now, without parents, without siblings, without a family, without a wife and
children. I wander around the country day after day. "Home" and "ancestral home" are truly
irrelevant to me now.

"Blood ties"? Thinking of this, I couldn't help but feel ashamed. When my father passed away, I, the unfilial son
, was away and couldn't get away. My uncle from the south city came to take care of the funeral arrangements.
I never felt the slightest bit of guilt for not being able to fulfill my filial duty because of work. So it wouldn't be fair to
say ties. Rather than insisting it's about family affection, it's more accurate to say it's about missing Xiaoxue. Aside from her, I have
no other attachment to Beiping.

"Yusheng, why are you back so late? Master is furious! Quickly change your clothes and come to the inner courtyard for dinner!"

For many years I hadn't thought of Xiaoxue, but now, suddenly, the warm
gaze reappeared in my mind. Her every smile, her innocent eyes, her purity, her straightforwardness—
all these unexpectedly flooded my mind again. Finally, the thought of her current whereabouts brought another pang of heartache.

My thoughts began to swirl. At that moment, the rickshaw had reached Jizhao Hutong. I saw the gate of my old house, and vaguely saw the figure of
a . Time seemed to flow backward; Xiaoxue was standing at the gate of our ancestral home, waiting for me to return!

I thought I was starting to lose my mind, but as the scenery gradually became clearer, the faint figure remained. It wasn't
a hallucination, nor a memory. My heart started pounding, and my whole body tensed. Xiaoxue, could it really be
you?

Reaching the gate, my tense emotions calmed down a bit, but a sense of loss followed. The woman in front of me wasn't welcoming me
home; she was just sweeping snow at the gatehouse. She was no more than twenty years old, pretty and charming, completely
different .

"Who are you? Do you know this is the Fang family mansion?" My mind had barely settled when, before I could even ask who she was,
she was already speaking rudely to me.

"Then... then who are you? I don't know you. This... where is Uncle Huai, the steward?" Faced with
the girl's rudeness, I stammered, unable to answer.

"Oh! You know Uncle Huai? You are..."

"I am Fang Yusheng, Fang Yusheng of the Fang family!" Returning to my ancestral home felt like being interrogated, and I couldn't help but feel angry
.

Upon hearing my name, the girl was momentarily speechless, like a dazed fool. Yet,
a subtle change flashed in her eyes, a change so fleeting I couldn't decipher its meaning.

Seeing her lower her head, unable to answer, I asked again, "What's your relationship to Uncle Huai? Where is Uncle Huai?"

"I...I...I'm Uncle Huai's...distant relative. He went back to his hometown on business, so I'm temporarily managing things here for him."
The girl blushed, her head lowered, her eyes flickering uncertainly. She was a silly girl after all! Only then did I take a good
look at her. The girl wore a braid, her eyes were like dark ink dots, her lips like ripe peaches, and
her features were delicate yet tinged with melancholy. Her carefree demeanor resembled a forest elf with two transparent wings, fallen to earth, from Western mythology.
This feeling seemed familiar, yet I couldn't place where I'd seen it before. Her skin was fair and
delicate , unlike a working girl; she seemed more like a city girl.

“I…I’m so sorry, Mr. Fang. I didn’t know you would come here. Uncle Huai…I heard that you haven’t
been back for more than ten years, so…”

“It’s alright. Hey! What’s your name?”

“I…my name is…Fang…” The little girl was unusually hesitant.

“Fang? Your name is Fang?”

“Yes…just call me Xiao Fang!…Come on! Let me get your luggage for you, sir.”

“No need, I can do it myself.”

It was already dark when I got back to my hometown. After settling my belongings in the room, I felt extremely tired and
fell asleep .

“Sir?” Xiao Fang’s voice came from outside the room.

"Xiao Fang? What is it?"

"It's late. I've prepared hot water. Sir, you can go take a bath now."

"Oh? I don't want to bathe yet. You don't need to serve me. Wash up first and then rest!"

"Then...then I won't disturb you, sir."

After Xiao Fang left, I suddenly couldn't sleep at all. I lay on the bed I hadn't slept on for over ten years,
staring blankly at the late winter night sky outside the window. The bright moon was the same as it had been years ago, but everything had changed. I was now
over forty , no longer the young man I once was...

"Yu Sheng, we're about the same age. Don't call me sister-in-law, call me Xiao Xue. We're all young people..."

Xiao Xue, I was twenty-seven when I left here, and you were thirty. Soon after, you returned to your maternal home. Now
we're forty-five! If you really came back, would you still recognize me?

Thinking about it made it even harder to fall asleep. Bored, I got up and went for a walk in the outer courtyard. When I got to the pavilion, the two jujube trees
were still there. Whether it was still the same two vines from back then was unknown, but together with the grape trellis next door, they still
looked quite charming. I reminisced about the past, cherishing the various furnishings in my home, and leisurely lifted the curtain to enter the inner courtyard .
As I walked through the corridor, I heard the sound of watering coming from the next room. I couldn't help but peek through the crack in the door, and there, a graceful, naked body,
was bathing. I was stunned. It was Xiao Fang! She

looked to be about fifteen or sixteen years old. When I met her at the gate this morning, her bright yet melancholic appearance...
She had already given me an inexplicable fondness. Seeing her snow-white, naked body now only intensified my
attraction . Her fair, delicate skin accentuated her small, perky breasts, her slender waist and shapely legs
revealing an unsightly buttocks—a truly beautiful virgin's body. Peeping at a young girl bathing is immoral, but this was
n't my first time. Only now did I recall that twenty years ago, this act was my sole source of amusement.

Because my mother died early, Xiaoxue was the only woman in our family. Due to the traditional preference for sons
, Xiaoxue always served us all first, only bathing her at night. Every night, in the quiet of the night
, I couldn't resist the allure of the dripping water and would quietly sneak into the bathroom's courtyard to spy on Xiaoxue! Each time afterward, I
told myself it was the last time, yet the second night I couldn't resist Xiaoxue's alluring body. Those
full breasts, that hidden, mysterious tuft of grass—it represented all my
desires .

Even normally, my gaze lingered on Xiaoxue's figure, let alone when
she was naked. Even though she was my sister-in-law.

"Yusheng, can you stop staring at me like that? People will misunderstand!"

Misunderstand? I don't care about misunderstandings! And you knew from the start that it wasn't a misunderstanding! You
must , because to me, your words were an implication! Even knowing that doing this would hurt you, if
fate gave me another chance, I believe the outcome would still be the same! Even if the ending was eternal damnation!

My thoughts swirled between the allure of the past and the present. Suddenly, the woman before me bent over, her back to me.
Water droplets slid down her body, tracing the beautiful contours of her breasts, outlining their seductive lines.
They gathered at the nipples, and finally, drop by drop, fell, the sound of the water hitting the ground resonating deep within me
.

What stunned me even more was that her raised virgin vulva was directly facing me. The paradise
I had dreamed revealed. The damp grass parted gently, the vulva
slightly ajar, revealing the bright red, glistening peach. This rekindled the desire I had harbored for Xiaoxue for over a decade. I could no longer
distinguish whether it was Xiaofang or Xiaoxue before me; I felt my blood rush and my heart pound violently.

As I uncontrollably took a step forward, she seemed to sense something!

"What? Who's there?" Xiaoxue asked, turning around.

"What? Who's there?" Xiaofang asked, turning around.

I woke up with a start, rushed back to my room, and wrapped myself tightly in a thick quilt, my heart pounding
for a long time .

"Xiaoxue, this is the last time!"

The next morning, Xiaofang seemed normal, and I, of course, acted as if nothing had happened, making no mention of my blunder the previous night.
Putting my mind at ease, I went to pay my respects at my father's and brother's graves early in the morning, and Xiaofang came with me, saying
she should do the heavy work like weeding.

Arriving at Guangyi Garden in Miaoguang Pavilion, I burned the paper money and clothes I had bought from the paper shop for my father and brother.

Father! I'm sorry! Your son is unfilial! All these years I haven't even lit a single stick of incense at your grave. I haven't
preserved the family business, nor have I had any descendants to carry on the Fang family line. But I really can't stay here. I
can't face everything that happened here before. Your son has no choice, please forgive me, Father.

Thinking about this, a wave of sorrow washed over me, and my nose began to sob. I looked up at the sky, took a deep
breath , stretched casually, and looked around. Suddenly, my eyes widened, my pupils dilated, and my blood seemed
to freeze instantly.

Unable to believe what I was seeing, I walked with trembling steps toward
a tombstone not far from me.

It read—"Tomb of Xiaoxue of the Huo Family of Fangmen!"

"Yusheng, I am Xue, you are Yu, our names match well! But don't misunderstand, I
only mean our names!" "

Yusheng, actually, your brother and I don't match at all. He never knows what I'm thinking, and he
never asks!"

"Do you like little girls? If I have a daughter in the future, can I name her Xiaoyu?" "

Is it unique for a woman to like reading Rousseau's works? I don't think so. I'm just an ordinary
woman! Also, I'm your sister-in-law..." "

Yusheng, if you do this again, I'll tell your brother!" "

Yusheng, you can't think like that anymore! Do you understand? We have no future!" "

Yusheng, Yusheng..."

"Yusheng..."

Little...Little Xue, so you no longer exist in this world! Why did you have to die? Why did you die?
Why were you so heartless to leave me behind? It turns out that all along, I've been alone in this boring world,
living a boring life! The world was vast and desolate. Since the snow had melted away, why should the rain remain in the world?

"Sir? Sir..."

I don't know how long it had been, but Xiao Fang's calls brought me back to reality. Only then did I realize that I was in
the main house of my ancestral home. The setting sun cast long shadows outside, and it was already dusk. From this morning until now, apart from remembering that I had cried
bitterly at Xiao Xue's grave, I couldn't remember what I had done with her, how I had returned, or anything that had happened until the evening . "Sir, how are you?" Xiao Fang was beside me, her face also showing grief. "I'm alright now." She probably brought me home in my momentary daze. But she didn't say, and I didn't want to ask. "Yes, sir, who was the woman in that grave this morning..." Xiao Fang asked me tentatively. "Her?... She... is my sister-in-law." "Sister-in-law? But you seemed very sad just now." "Yes! I was really sad! Because... she was the woman I loved most in my life!" "What? Then... but..." She hesitated. “But she’s my sister-in-law! Even though I shouldn’t, I love her! I still love her to this day!” “This…this…sir, could you tell Xiaofang about your past with her?” She toyed with her long braid, asking somewhat awkwardly. The curious girl’s words were irresistible. I felt a wave of dizziness; the scene before me gradually turned hazy , the room seemed distorted, then stretched endlessly, finally becoming a winding passage leading to the other side of time… Twenty years ago, in that cold winter, Huo Xiaoxue, true to her name, draped in snowflakes, stepped into the Fang family’s gate, becoming…

She was my brother's wife. Born into a scholarly family in Shenyang, she received a modern education and possessed a refined and elegant
demeanor. My brother met Xiaoxue by chance while doing business in the area and was instantly captivated by her. After years of persistent pursuit, he finally
won her heart and they married.

Three years younger than her, I watched this ethereal woman, with her striking eyebrows, enter my home. My impulsive and fragile
young heart was deeply shaken. She was like a winged forest fairy from the mundane world,
completely different from the traditional and superficial girls I had known before.

"Yusheng, your brother is often away on business, and I'm so lonely. Can you keep me company? Oh
, and we're about the same age, so don't call me sister-in-law anymore, just call me Xiaoxue. We're both young people..."

She wanted me to call her Xiaoxue! Besides my brother, I was the only one I could call her by her name! When my brother wasn't home
, I was inseparable from her. Just seeing her graceful figure beside me made me
happy . When he was home, it felt like an eternity.

"Yusheng, actually, your brother and I aren't a good match. He never knows what I'm thinking, and he
never asks. I know he treats me well, but… but I don't need that…"

One melancholic late autumn, she gazed at the distant red sunset in the pavilion and confided to me softly. My brother was just
a vulgar merchant, ten years older than her. He was simply not suitable for her! He was completely unworthy of her! She was dissatisfied;
she was hinting at it to me! At this moment, she had feelings for me! I knew!

"Yusheng, I am Snow, you are Rain, our names complement each other! But don't misunderstand, I only mean
our names !"

I am Rain, she is Snow, we are a match made in heaven! I understand! I understand what she means! I
know what I should do!

"If you do that again, I'll tell your brother! Yusheng, I'm your sister-in-law
!"

That time, she slapped me hard! She was making her stance clear, telling me she was a
traditional, law-abiding woman, but she didn't indicate she didn't love me! She didn't say she didn't love me!

And I, definitely not a person who respects propriety, on a spring evening when it was just the two of us at home, I
, slightly drunk, forced my way into Xiaoxue's room, pushed her down onto the bed, and kissed her lips, her
earlobes, and her neck wildly! Xiaoxue kept crying and screaming; she hit me, she cursed me, but that couldn't stop my
violation .

Tearing open her peach-colored blouse, a pair of crystal-clear, snow-white breasts were right in front of me. The beautiful flesh before me was
the hope I had longed for for years but could never have. I kept burying my head in her breasts for comfort, then frantically sucking on
those two rosy nipples.

"No! Yusheng, don't do this! I'm your sister-in-law! Ah!" Xiaoxue had made a mistake. The words "sister-in-law"
only amplified the stimulation in her ears! All the unconventional words had transformed into boundless
motivation. I wanted to have sex with my sister-in-law! I wanted to defy that incestuous morality! I wanted to defy this damned fate!

When Xiaoxue and I became one, her cries were indistinguishable between sobs and moans, but she was
holding me tightly. Xiaoxue hugged me tightly! Even her legs were wrapped around my waist. I
released myself inside her in this wild and chaotic climax! I wanted to bury a part of my body deep within Xiaoxue's heart. I
wanted to imprint my mark on her body and soul, to make her my woman, to make her belong to me for all eternity!

"Yusheng! What are you doing, you beast? She's your sister-in-law! Are you even human? I'll beat you to death, you
inhuman beast..."

When the truth came out, I was constantly beaten and cursed by my brother. But I didn't resist, nor did I
defend myself. I didn't regret anything I did, but seeing Xiaoxue standing there, tears streaming down her face, my
heart ached ! Xiaoxue, I'm so sorry! But this was necessary, otherwise, as you said, we would have no future.

"Stop! Fengyang, don't hit him anymore! No... he didn't force me!"

When I was beaten to the point of near death, she, who had remained silent since the incident, stepped forward to stop her husband.
Xiaoxue was speaking up for me! I didn't know if she was sincere or just trying to save me; at that moment, I felt only silent gratitude and a secret
joy. Xiaoxue had finally taken the first step for me! If we could just overcome this obstacle and take this step, a bright future
would lie ahead. But I never imagined that what seemed like the beginning of hope would turn into an irrecoverable end.

Regarding my brother's suicide, my father only said one last thing to me: "Go! I never
want to see you again in this life!"

The suddenness of the events, the cruel manipulation of fate, was unbearable and unacceptable. I was just
pursuing my own happiness! What was wrong with that? Why did my brother have to die? Why did my father no longer acknowledge me as his son? And
why did Xiaoxue return to her hometown in Shenyang? Why would she refuse to see me again? It wasn't

until many years later, after countless changes in the world and life experiences, that I understood
the mistakes and sins I had committed. By then, my father had just passed away, and Xiaoxue's family had
vanished without a trace. Even with repentance, I couldn't make amends for the people I had hurt.

I always thought that one day I would meet Xiaoxue again, that I would make amends, that I would ask for her forgiveness,
and that she would resolve the unresolved question of whether she had ever loved me. But today, when I learned that she was no longer
alive, that Xiaoxue and I were already separated by death…

In the early hours of the morning, the clock ticked relentlessly, unable to drown out the howling wind and snow outside. The past was hazy,
old feelings lingered. After reminiscing, Xiaofang and I sat silently, unable to utter a single word.

"Sir, do you still think of Xiaoxue?" After what seemed like an eternity, Xiaofang finally broke the silence.
The heaviness in her eyes was no less than mine. "

Of course I miss her! Even now, she's still in my heart, an influencing my life, an influencing my destiny.
I can't let go of the past, I can't start over. How can you expect me not to think about her?"

"But last night..."

Xiaofang's suspicious gaze suddenly swept over me sharply. I froze. Last night I was peeping at her while she showered, and she
knew all along!

"Xiaoxue couldn't bear the burdens
of She died because of you, and yet you think about women every day!
What have you ever done for Xiaoxue?" Xiaofang's face flushed, and she spoke softly, followed by a sigh.

I am a forty-five-year-old middle-aged man. These past years, I've wandered the world, making a living, lonely and homeless, living a nomadic life.
Although I had bed partners everywhere, I would never admit it outside of brothels. Yet, the girl before me had seen through my lie, and
I was filled with shame. Yes! I ruined Xiaoxue's life, but over the years I'd been intimate with countless women. I
said I regretted it, but what had I done for Xiaoxue? What had I done for the people I'd hurt?

"Last...last night I'm so sorry! But...last night you reminded me of Xiaoxue, your back view was...like hers!"
Only then did I remember the ethereal feeling Xiaofang had given me, exactly the same feeling Xiaoxue had given me!

Xiaofang trembled slightly at my words, then stared blankly at me. Her eyes
revealed the same subtle change I'd seen at the gate yesterday, but this time, I had no heart to care.

Overwhelmed with shame, I silently left the main house, went into the inner courtyard, picked up the old wine my father had always treasured, and drank it.
I didn't know what else to do! I couldn't face myself! I couldn't face Xiaoxue, who had died because of me!

I don't know how much strong liquor I'd drunk; I started to feel dizzy, and the scenery around me began to sway. Just then, the door
creaked open, and a woman in a pink nightgown stood before me. I remembered—it was Xiaoxue's nightgown from years ago!

"Xiao...Xiaofang? What are you doing?" My vision was failing me.

"I just want you to know that I truly loved you back then!" she said calmly.

Outside, the wind and snow howled incessantly, the wind lashing against the paper windows with a muffled, almost imperceptible force, as if about to tear them apart.
Time hovering between the impending collapse and the impending rupture. I could no longer contain my excitement; I rushed forward and pulled her into my arms,
kissing her passionately!

"Xiaoxue! Forgive me! I beg you! Forgive me!"

I slipped my tongue into her mouth, licking and teasing her. She flinched slightly at first, then closed her eyes, savoring the teasing stimulation of my
tongue . As I felt her body begin to tremble and go limp, I carried her to my room, placed her on the bed, and
removed her peach-colored nightgown. I then re-examined her long-missed body: her tongue, earlobes, neck, shoulders, armpits
, breasts, and finally her nipples. I sealed them with a deep, passionate kiss. By then, her body was weak and limp, she moaned softly, and
her vagina was overflowing with desire. Like a little girl who knew nothing, she closed her eyes tightly,
gently caressing me with her trembling hands.

I pressed myself against her, aimed my penis at her clitoris, and slowly inserted the head. Although she seemed to be in great pain,
constantly crying out and whimpering, she opened her alluring eyes, gazing at me with tender affection, embracing me, her legs wrapped
tightly around my waist, letting me thrust wildly. My consciousness was hazy, my state frenzied, constantly turning her over and over, using
different positions to make love to her. Years of agonizing pain were released in this moment. I wanted to
be one with Xiaoxue forever, never to be separated again in this life!

"Xiaoxue! I love you! Xiaoxue! Don't leave me again!..."

She hugged me tightly, kissing me passionately. We thrust and responded to each other,
finally reaching a blissful climax. More than ten years of pent-up emotions were released uncontrollably inside her
, my body seemingly drained of all fluid, wave after wave pouring
into her womb until the last drop of semen was squeezed out. After pouring all my passion and desire into her, I felt utterly
exhausted, and we drifted off to sleep in each other's arms.

When I opened my eyes to the morning sun, I found myself naked in bed!
Xiaofang was no longer beside me. Besides my clothes, a set of peach-colored pajamas lay on the bedside.
As my mind cleared, I recalled the warm and beautiful moments of the previous night, and I was filled with regret! Why would Xiaofang do this?

I dressed and searched the entire house, but Xiaofang was nowhere to be found. I began to sense something was amiss
. Where had she gone? How did she know Xiaoxue's clothes? How did she know Xiaoxue's feelings? Who exactly is she
?

I searched every street and alley in the city, but still couldn't find Xiao Fang. Finally, I came to Uncle Huai's old residence, hoping she was
there . But instead of Xiao Fang, I saw Uncle Huai!

"Ah! Second Young Master! Is it really Second Young Master? You've finally returned!"

"Uncle Huai! Didn't you go back to your hometown on business?"

"Who said I went back to my hometown? Miss Fang is here. She comes back every year on the anniversary of the death of Master and Eldest Mistress. She wants to
live alone in the main house, so I'm going back to my old residence for a while."

"Miss Fang? Which Miss Fang?"

"It's your relative, Miss Fang! Don't you see her? She's in the main house!"

"I don't have any relatives called Miss Fang!"

"How could you not? She said she's your cousin! That year, she brought Eldest Mistress back for her burial!
How could she not be your relative?"

"Uncle Huai, that Miss Fang... you don't mean Xiao Fang, do you?"

"Xiao Fang? No! Her name isn't Xiao Fang! Her surname is just Fang. I remember, she said her name was –
Fang Xiao Yu!"

My forehead felt like it had been hit hard, and my body felt like it had fallen into a dark abyss. A
face , a name I couldn't forget, they belonged to the same person, and I couldn't recognize her even though we met. Xiaoyu
, you are Xiaoxue's messenger sent from heaven, bringing me an answer I've waited for over twenty years,
untying the knot in my heart. You actually knew about Xiaoxue and me all along; you were always testing my
feelings for her. But why were you so foolish? To sacrifice yourself for someone condemned to hell, never to be reborn!
To give ! I hurt Xiaoxue back then, and now I've hurt Xiaoyu, once again burdening me with irreparable sin. Even
knowing Xiaoxue's feelings back then, what does it matter?

Now I'm on the train returning south, watching the snow falling, overwhelmed with emotion. It turns out people don't truly die
! They just change slightly in the next generation. Xiaoxue, you vanished from this world, yet another version
of you has unknowingly entered my dreams again. But no matter how hard I try, I can't find Xiaoyu,
and I have a vague feeling that we will never meet again in this life. Xiaoyu, I have no more requests. I only hope that wherever you are, in
the east, west, south, or north, may the falling snow bring me your message, letting me know that you
are still well in some corner of this world. Xiaoxue, may your spirit in heaven, like the falling snowflakes, protect Xiaoyu, bless
her, and make her happy forever.

"Yusheng, I am snow, you are rain. If I have a daughter in the future, may I call her Xiaoyu?"
[The End]

When the large clock at the South City Station chimed six times in the silent morning air, I awoke from a nightmare that felt like an eternal rebirth.

Since last year, when my only watch was exchanged for a train ticket because I didn't have enough money for travel expenses, I now rely on the station bells to tell the time. I slowly sat up, wiped the cold sweat from my forehead, and looked around to make sure I was indeed in my ancestral home, in our room. It was a crisp early winter morning; the sun hadn't yet risen from behind the mountain, and the entire room was shrouded in a dim, cool blue light. The room was heavy, and shadows from last night still lingered in the corners of the room and under the table, conveying a sense of melancholy and the inevitable decline of the family.

The dream I had just had was still vivid in my mind. In it, Xiaoxue sat coldly on the pavilion, watching the pattering rain outside, then turned to look at me, her face full of sorrow and bitterness.

I shook my head to calm my thoughts, got up, and went to the window to look out. Snow was falling all around, the distant view hazy, yet the snow was heavy but not fierce. Snowflakes drifted down and touched my lips, melting gently and slowly, like an old friend coming to kiss me softly.

This scene reminded me of events from twenty years ago, those memories that still bled through my life, and that kiss as heavy as a mountain…

Love. Shaking. Half a Life,

Part One

[Love. Shaking]

Twenty years ago, I was still an innocent young man born into a wealthy family.

Our Fang family originated from Sanjiazi in Beiping, a well-known wealthy and powerful clan, owning
countless fields and mountains, and a family of scholars for generations. I heard that my great-grandfather's generation even produced some scholars. Furthermore, my
brother the family business seven years ago and achieved remarkable success, making our family even more prosperous than before.

Although the Fang family was a large household, it was small in number. My mother passed away shortly after my birth, leaving only
my father, my brother, and me. Apart from an uncle who lived in the southern part of the city, there were no other family members.

My father, who was in charge of the family business, was not a talented official, but he was kind and honest and treated the tenants well, making him a capable
steward of the family business. My brother, ten years older than me, was ambitious and, in addition to helping my father manage the family business, he actively engaged in commerce. In this time of
national turmoil and foreign aggression, my brother's businesses, such as cloth, rice, and medicinal herbs, which were closely related to the country,
flourished and he achieved great success.

Of the three in my family, I was the only one who didn't work. What would be a rare privilege for most
to receive a university education in bustling Hong Kong, I completed with a nonchalant attitude. However ,
for my father, who still longed for a scholar to emerge from the family, this was already a source of immense pride and joy. He had no other demands of me,
except for constantly urging my brother and me to get married and continue the family line.

Like other modern young people educated in the West, I yearned for the freedom romanticized by Western literature
and hated constraints. I despised the traditional, conservative family business, the money-grubbing merchants, the self-righteous
scholars, and the chaotic state of a nation in turmoil. For this reason, I drifted through life aimlessly
until that day, when Xiaoxue appeared in my life like a spark igniting a firework.

Twenty years ago, in early December, when the weather was still chilly, Xiaoxue, true to her name, arrived in
Beiping (Beijing) amidst a blanket of snow. The Fang family's wedding became a major event in the neighborhood that year, with lanterns and decorations everywhere, creating a lively atmosphere.

I learned from my brother that Xiaoxue came from a scholarly family in Shenyang, received a modern education, and
possessed a refined and elegant demeanor. My brother met Xiaoxue by chance while doing business in the area, and was immediately captivated by her beauty. After years of persistent
pursuit , he finally won her heart and they married.

My brother told me that he only realized the existence
of .

As for me, it wasn't until his wedding day that I truly understood the meaning of my brother's words.

The wedding was exceptionally grand and lively. Early in the morning, the sounds of music, firecrackers, and cheers from the crowds
echoed from the streets. Everyone in the family rushed to the gate to catch a glimpse of the bride. From a distance, I saw
the matchmaker carrying the bride dressed in a peach-red silk gown embroidered with phoenixes and wearing a red silk veil and a gold-carved phoenix crown, into the house,
but I didn't think much of it. For someone like me who hates formalities, the noisy, clinking glasses and bustling atmosphere at home were utterly tiresome
, so I tried to avoid it whenever possible.

After the wedding ceremony, there was an endless stream of banquets and social obligations, with one standardized face after another and one standardized blessing
after another. As night fell, my elderly father, having drunk too much, had already gone to bed, and my brother was having his wedding night
. As the only host in the hall, I was naturally busy with social obligations and couldn't leave. Finally, as the guests left, drunk and disoriented,
it was almost dawn.

After seeing the last guest out the door, I looked at the sky. The once dark sky was now showing the pale
light of dawn. Exhausted, I let out a long sigh, wanting nothing more than to go back to my room and sleep soundly. Just as
I was back to my room through the corridor of the hanging flower gate along the gravel path, I saw a strange woman sitting alone
on the pavilion in the garden, staring blankly at the swirling snowflakes.

Before me stood an exceptionally beautiful woman, her face, rounded yet sharp like an oval seed, framed
a long, uncombed black head that cascaded straight down her shoulders. Her long, curved eyelashes were captivating, perfectly
complementing her clear, almond-shaped eyes, which seemed to be veiled by layers of curtains, yet revealed a string of alluring glances. She sat sideways on a stone bench, her slender
figure and full breasts, barely concealed by her thick cotton coat, glowing with a faint blue hue in the morning light, radiating an
ethereal beauty.

It was a clear, otherworldly beauty, extremely subtle. The ethereal yet luminous light she exuded
filled the entire space, as if the surroundings had frozen in time, as if any disturbance would instantly
shatter and cease to exist. It was a natural, noble aura of submission, instilling a
sense of unease, making it hard to breathe. I

stood there, stunned, my palms sweating, afraid to move. The wind blew, and time seemed to stand still. Just
then, tears suddenly streamed down her face. At first, they flowed quietly, but soon she began to sob,
then burst into silent wailing.

This sudden turn of events threw me into disarray. I took a small step back, bumping the
bonsai shattering the tranquil silence. The woman looked at me with a hint of surprise, but within a second, she regained
her composure and gently wiped away her tears.

"Good morning, Second Uncle," she said.

She was my sister-in-law, whom I had never met before, my brother's bride, Xiaoxue.

"Oh...it's Sister-in-law! Up so early? I haven't slept yet!...Where's my brother?" I was stunned
for a moment before I could reply.

"He's probably not used to sleeping in a strange place. Your brother is still sleeping, and your Second Uncle is tired too. Go back to your room and rest
!"

Without waiting for my reply, she went back to her room, leaving behind a sweet aftertaste.
I stood there alone, my sleepiness nowhere to be found, only a lingering sense of bewilderment and
a restless, anxious soul.

Several days passed, and I had few opportunities to see my sister-in-law. Aside from a nod in greeting, we exchanged no other words.
Yet, the addition of a strikingly beautiful woman who made one's breathing quicken unexpectedly, the entire house carried an
unsettling atmosphere.

On the fifth day of our honeymoon, my brother was leaving for the south on business, leaving my wife alone at home
. Seeing that Xiaoxue had been alone at home for quite some time, my father asked me to accompany her for a stroll. I
readily agreed, and Xiaoxue neither agreed nor disagreed, simply following me silently as we left the house
and went out into the street.

I rarely spent time alone with my daughter, and for a moment, we looked at each other shyly, speechless. Seeing the tense atmosphere, I took
Xiaoxue to the place between Zhengyangmen and Yongdingmen, known as "Tianqiao" (the bridge the emperor used to walk on).
To the east is the Temple of Heaven, and to the west is the Temple of Agriculture. Both sides of the bridge are lined with stalls of all sizes—carts, stretchers—filled
with all sorts of local snacks and trinkets. Countless street performers and fortune tellers are also there, and the place is bustling with people.

Arriving at this ordinary people's market, which we don't usually visit, Xiaoxue's face was noticeably less gloomy than before.
We looked at each stall, eating mung bean dumplings, then fried shrimp, and finally a steaming hot jianbing guozi (Chinese crepe).
Seeing Xiaoxue intently looking at the trinkets, I bought her a small powder box and a white ivory folding fan.
She thanked me with a smile, and I smiled back. Three years older than me, she held these little things with a childlike
joy. While comforting her, I also clearly understood the melancholy that had gripped Xiaoxue these past few days.

Tired from walking, I took Xiaoxue to Beidaihe. It was quiet there, without a sound of cars,
and Xiaoxue's mood calmed down.

"Sister-in-law, are you hungry? I'll go buy some food..." The silence returned, and we were both speechless again. I tried to make
small talk, hoping to slip away unnoticed.

"Yusheng, we're about the same age, don't call me sister-in-law, call me Xiaoxue! We're all young, and I
don't want to call you 'Second Uncle,' it sounds too formal." Xiaoxue, ever the worldly-wise one, quickly broke down the barrier between
us .

"Okay! I want to say that too. I love the name Xiaoxue, it suits you so well." This was my
honest opinion.

"Really? It's a pity it doesn't sound good with your brother's name! Fang Fengyang, Huo Xiaoxue, it sounds like a snowstorm if they walk
together !"

"Haha! I didn't even think of that until you mentioned it, it does sound a bit unlucky!" I joked.
“Yusheng, I’m Xue, and you’re Yu. Our names match so well! But don’t misunderstand, I’m
just referring to our names!”

Xiaoxue smiled at me, a gentle breeze brushing past my ears. Her words and expression stirred a deep
emotion within me, a bittersweet feeling.

I couldn’t reply, and then another silence fell. At that moment, I remembered Xiaoxue sitting in the courtyard on the morning of our wedding
, her sorrow, and her tears. I wanted to know her thoughts, I wanted to understand her more, but I didn’t know
where to begin.

We stared at each other in silence. Suddenly, a series of alarming sirens
wailed , and soon, deafening sirens blared from all directions. Xiaoxue was terrified,
looking around in confusion, and I, equally flustered, grabbed Xiaoxue’s hand and ran, like everyone else, towards
the air-raid shelter. The streets were in chaos. People were calling for their mothers, searching for their children, and some had fallen and been
crushed by those behind them. The once bustling street had instantly turned into a scene of hell. We

ran and ran, disregarding everything, and finally reached the air-raid shelter. It seemed rather small, with
pitch-black walls on all four sides. Before Xiaoxue and I could even settle in, we were constantly being pushed and shoved by the people following us in
. More and more people filed in, and we were constantly being jostled and bumped from all sides. I spread my arms wide, trying my best to protect
Xiaoxue , but when the large steel door of the air-raid shelter closed, everyone was pressed together, face to face and back to back
. I, who had been protecting Xiaoxue with my outstretched arms, ended up with my arms tightly wrapped around her chest, holding her close.

Xiaoxue and I were face to face, nose to nose, our still-
breathing on each other's faces. I inhaled her sweet fragrance, her intoxicating rose scent
wafting through the air. In the darkness, I saw the light in Xiaoxue's eyes.

Our bodies were pressed tightly together, without any gap. I could feel her full, soft breasts
rising me. One hand, holding her, rested on her smooth back, the other on her
lower back, just above her hips—a softness and elasticity no less than Xiaoxue's breasts.

Embracing her soft, fragrant body, my unruly member was already hard against Xiaoxue's lower abdomen, a
feeling both extremely embarrassing and incredibly pleasurable. I don't know if she felt
the restless throbbing of my manhood, but I knew that Xiaoxue's delicate body, held tightly in my arms, trembled stiffly, her heart pounding
and her breath coming in rapid gasps.

Time passed, and the scene before me was both awkward and warm. The air-raid shelter was filled with the
noise of people crying and the strong smell of body odor, but I, holding this beautiful woman tightly in my arms, felt nothing of it.
I was now in a world with only the two of us. The person opposite me was fragrant, warm, soft, and smooth.
Her breath was drawn directly into my body through our nostrils, and my own breath
was absorbed by her body. This exchange of air made me feel extremely intimate.

Unable to resist, I hugged her tighter and tighter, my lower body thrusting forward uncontrollably. My heart was pounding, my throat was dry, and I
instinctively licked my lips. My tongue seemed to touch something, and the body I was holding trembled slightly, but there was no other
violent reaction. As if encouraged by something, I involuntarily parted my trembling lips slightly and moved forward at an
almost zero speed.

Just as our lips were about to touch, a completely different alarm sounded outside—the
all-clear signal. It seemed this was another false alarm. Ever since the numerous atrocities involving the Japanese in China
, rumors of war had been circulating everywhere. Major cities were like frightened birds,
filled with anxiety. False alarms of air raids were frequent, and of course, no one could be sure that the next one would be the same.

With the all-clear signal, everyone in the cave let out various sighs of relief, like deflated balloons.
They breathed a sigh of relief, then one by one, their bodies limp and exhausted as they left the air-raid shelter. I dragged Xiaoxue from the darkness back into
the sunlight. Fortunately, it was nearing dusk, and the sunlight wasn't too glaring. I looked back at Xiaoxue; her head was down, her face
flushed red in the sunset, as if on fire. Only then did I realize the tender scene we had just witnessed in the darkness.

I had indeed taken advantage, and it had completely crossed the line of intimacy between lovers. Yet, I
had been forced, involuntary, and had no choice. Apologizing wasn't an option, nor was not apologizing. I felt
as uneasy as a guilty thief.

We returned home in silence. As Xiaoxue went to her room, she turned back and smiled at me.
"Yusheng, thank you. I'm very happy today, and thank you for protecting me. Please don't
worry about ."

Watching Xiaoxue close the door, I felt a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. Xiaoxue didn't blame me. I closed my eyes, breathed a sigh of relief, and
stood there, like a little rascal who had stolen candy, quietly savoring the intoxicating atmosphere and feelings.

From then on, Xiaoxue and I became close. She and her husband rarely saw each other, and on days when my brother wasn't around,
Xiaoxue and I were inseparable. I took her all over Beiping (Beijing), and she introduced me to Rousseau's works and some
European literature I didn't know. I had never met such a knowledgeable woman; she was like a winged
fairy from the mortal world, completely different from the traditional and superficial women I had known before.

Our barriers were broken down, our conversations opened up, and the topics gradually became deeper, ranging from national affairs
to personal thoughts. Xiaoxue often teased me about my dissatisfaction with life, but it was just the immature,
boyish whining of me.

One day in the second year of Xiaoxue's marriage, we agreed to stroll around Tiananmen Square in the morning, then walk along Chang'an Avenue to
Xidan, Xisi, and then to the teahouses in Pinganli. In the afternoon, we also took a leisurely walk around Beidaihe. The setting sun cast its crimson glow over Beidaihe
, mingling with the deep shadows of the mountains. In the villas nestled at the foot of the mountains, a few
lights . Xiaoxue and I discussed literature, current events, and life amidst the shimmering lights and reflections.

During our debate, my cynicism was once again mocked, and I retorted, "My
sorrows are just empty words, but what about yours? Why did you cry on your wedding night?" As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew I'd said the
wrong thing and struggled to find a way to smooth things over.

"You wouldn't understand the sorrow of being a woman!"

Xiaoxue said wistfully, gazing at a distant point.

"Yusheng, actually, your brother and I aren't a good match. He never knows what I'm thinking, and he never
asks. I know, I know he treats me very well, but… but I don't need that…"

Xiaoxue told me that her ideal husband would be someone whose personality and thoughts
resonated , but her parents wanted her to find a husband who could contribute to the family business. From a young age,
her parents constantly introduced her to suitors from wealthy families. Xiaoxue knew she had no say in her marriage,
but she couldn't bring herself to accept those vulgar young men she found repulsive. Then my brother
appeared . He was deeply devoted to her, showering her with affection. Her parents also adored him. Touched, Xiaoxue
knew she was already twenty-seven and getting old. Not wanting to waste any more time and disappoint her family, she felt
a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

Winter had just passed, spring was in full bloom, the weather was neither sunny nor rainy, and the cotton-like clouds in the sky gradually
dispersed, revealing patches of verdant smiles. A gentle breeze warmed her heart. I stared blankly
at Xiaoxue, feeling the sorrow of a modern woman living in the old society.

"Yusheng, can you stop staring at me like that? People will misunderstand!" she broke the silence,
turning to look at me.

It turned out that Xiaoxue had noticed me often staring at her with malicious intent, but at this moment, my gaze was devoid
of any desire, and I confidently met her eyes.

"Xiaoxue, when your brother isn't around, I'll take his place and protect you properly."

Xiaoxue gazed into my eyes with teary eyes, then after a moment, awkwardly looked away.

Realizing my lapse in composure, I quickly rambled on, "I hope that the next generation of women in China can be
independent , able to decide their own lives, and no longer need men to protect them. You know, everyone likes to
have a son in the family, but I, Fang Yusheng, prefer girls! I don't like boys!"

"Hmm? Yusheng likes girls?" Xiaoxue turned to look at me.

“I love her so much. She’s like a little doll, and she’ll be so lovable when she grows up. Unlike boys,
who are ugly when they’re six or seven, and you’ll have to spoil them terribly when they grow up!”

Xiaoxue laughed at my teasing and joked, “Yusheng likes little girls. If I have a
daughter , can I name her Xiaoyu?” She got more and more confused and made more and more mistakes, so she quickly stopped talking.

Suddenly, a strong wind blew through the dense foliage of the trees in the twilight, its deep green roar
spreading slowly like ripples, and the cawing of crows came from the mountainside.

I rushed to Xiaoxue and hugged her, pressing my lips to hers.

A moment later, a sharp “slap” rang out.

“If you do that again, I’ll tell your brother! Yusheng, I’m your sister-in-law
!” Xiaoxue warned me, her face flushed and her eyes blazing.

A burning pain shot through my face. I touched my cheek and looked at Xiaoxue in horror, not knowing what to do.

Dark clouds hung low and thick without warning, completely obscuring the last rays of the setting sun.
A chilly sky, as if rain were imminent, suddenly plunged into darkness. The previously cool spring breeze howled incessantly. We remained silent
, allowing the turmoil in our hearts to slowly settle.

"It's getting dark, let's go back!"

"Okay."

After that day, Xiaoxue deliberately avoided me. Aside from the three meals a day when the family had to sit together, I
had no time to spend with her.

This troubled me greatly.

What had I done wrong? What about our names being a good match? What about naming our future daughter Xiaoyu?
Wasn't that an implication? What about the husband she envisioned being someone whose personality and thoughts were very compatible with hers? Wasn't that me
? Why did she reject me? Why did she avoid me? Xiaoxue, what exactly are you trying to say to me? Xiaoxue

had been married into the Fang family for three years, yet she still had no children. Her father began clamoring to arrange
a concubine for her brother, who, of course, was extremely unwilling, as he cherished Xiaoxue like a precious jewel. During this period, the father, brother, and Xiaoxue
often argued.

To fulfill his father's wish to become a heir, my brother seized every opportunity to be intimate with Xiaoxue whenever he came home. In
the quiet , lonely nights, I would vaguely hear the soft
moans of a woman coming from the next room, whether it was my imagination or not. I would fantasize about Xiaoxue's snow-white naked body being molested by my brother, while desperately stroking my manhood, a bitter, aching
jealousy burning in my chest.

It was another sad December night. The winter solstice was just two days away. It hadn't snowed before, but
that night, the snow truly fell, a thin blanket of white covering the earth. That night, my father and brother went out to a banquet, and
I, too, was a little drunk, staggering home. Arriving in the courtyard, bathed in
the crisscrossing white snow and black tree shadows, the drowsiness that had seeped into my brain suddenly vanished.

I saw that the door to my brother's room next door was only slightly ajar, a flickering candlelight shining through the tiny crack
.

Sleepiness vanished, but the intoxication reached its peak. I stumbled into my brother's room, slowly pushing open the wooden door. Xiaoxue
was lying on her side on the bed, facing the wall with her back to the door. She had probably fallen asleep from exhaustion while waiting for her brother to return.

It was obvious; my brother hadn't come back yet.

Inside the room, the silent figure and the flickering shadow in the candlelight overlapped and intertwined on the wall. My
inner eye spotted a pair of white floral satin shoes under the white curtains by the bed, and a delicate white
silk blouse and a green gauze skirt hanging on a clothes rack. Seeing Xiaoxue's outer garments laid out to the side, a surge of heat
rose . My mind wandered, and I crossed the threshold to the bedside. A strong fragrance, the scent of a woman after a bath
, filled the entire room, making me feel intoxicated. My head was spinning, and I couldn't control myself. I got into bed and
lay down beside Xiaoxue in the same position.

Xiaoxue didn't react.

After lying there holding my breath for a while, I moved my head closer, gently nuzzling the back of Xiaoxue's head, inhaling her
rose-like fragrance. At that moment, I felt as if I were back in that phantom moment when we were pressed together in the air-raid shelter.

"Mmm..." Xiaoxue hummed softly.

Just like when I heard Xiaoxue's cries at midnight, I was completely captivated, inexplicably excited, my desire burning ever brighter.
One hand, without my control, quietly slipped under the covers, slowly moving from behind to Xiaoxue's chest.

Finally, I grasped one of Xiaoxue's breasts, covered only by a thin blouse!

That was Xiaoxue's breast, my destiny, the hope I had yearned to touch for the past three years, a hope I
had dared not yet dared to .

Firm and full breasts, a hot, swelling sensation emanating from my palms, their soft, elastic texture
indescribable . I slightly tightened my grip, kneading them, the smooth, watery flesh rippling freely in my hands. I
wantonly ravaged and teased those undulating roundness, the protruding nipples gradually hardening.

Finding my target, I pinched those tender nipples between my fingertips, playing with them at will. The body I touched
trembled slightly. In extreme excitement, I extended my tongue to lick her alluring pink neck. The woman before me obediently
raised for me to lick, my tongue experiencing the most exquisite skin in the world, as white as egg white, warm and sweet.

I was intoxicated. After enjoying the smoothness of her pink neck, my tongue moved to savor her delicate earlobe, then curled
my tongue and probed into her ear canal. Xiaoxue slightly twisted, her waist swaying.

Lost in passion, my tongue greedily searched for her lips, and Xiaoxue understood and obediently turned her face towards me.

At that moment, Xiaoxue and I locked eyes.

"Yusheng!? How could it be you? What are you doing here!?"

The man sleeping next to her wasn't her husband. Xiaoxue's almond-shaped eyes widened in fury as she shouted and tried
to push me away.

At that moment, I had completely lost my senses. Without hesitation, I forcefully pressed Xiaoxue's hands down, pinning her heavily
beneath me.

"Xiaoxue! I love you! I've always loved you! You know my feelings, so why are you
avoiding me?"

"You're drunk! Yusheng, you can't think like this anymore! Do you understand? We have no future!"
Looking into my eyes, Xiaoxue's initial anger turned to panic.

"I don't care! I want you! Xiaoxue, I love you! Don't run away from me! I want to have you now!"

I forcefully kissed Xiaoxue's lips. She struggled fiercely, my kisses covering her face, cheeks, ears, and neck.

"No! No! Yusheng... I'm your... sister-in-law... No... You can't... I beg you... No..."

Xiaoxue trembled violently, but she tried her best to suppress her cries, afraid of alerting those outside.

This was the old society! When a woman was violated and humiliated, she couldn't even cry out for help! If others found out about
this "immoral and shameful act," only the woman would suffer!

I didn't want to disturb the servants, so I silenced Xiaoxue's pleading mouth with my own, my tongue plunging deep into her
mouth , touching the tip of her tongue.

Xiaoxue was unable to speak because of my mouth, so I took the opportunity to search every corner of her mouth with my tongue, entwining her
delicate tongue, gathering the saliva inside, and then putting it into my own mouth.

I pressed Xiaoxue down on the bed and kissed her continuously, the cold wind blowing in through the cracks in the window, making the flickering candlelight dance on the floor
.

"Mmm...no...mmm..." After being kissed for a long, long time by a large man, Xiaoxue's delicate
voice grew weaker and weaker, her struggles waning. I released her, my hands
roaming .

Her body trembled as I explored her entire being, offering only weak, sporadic resistance.

I unfastened the three knots on her right breast, pulling open her blouse
to reveal slightly sunken shoulders, full, high breasts, delicate pink nipples,
a gracefully slender waist, and a rounded lower abdomen revealing a hint of pubic hair. I was stunned.

Xiaoxue shyly covered herself with her hands, but I forcefully pulled one away, then grasped her alluring breasts,
sucking and licking them with abandon, savoring them like precious jewels.

"Mmm...mmm...no..." By this time, Xiaoxue was completely exhausted, her hands only able to weakly push my
shoulders .

At this moment, my prey was powerless to resist, and my animalistic instincts subsided.
Before the woman I loved most in my life, the most precious treasure in the world. With boundless tenderness, I
gazed upon her alluring body once more, then sealed each inch with a kiss. I savored Xiaoxue's every move, kissing her from her forehead
down , not even sparing her eyelids. After kissing her cheeks, neck, and shoulders, I leaned in to lick her intoxicating armpits,
sucking on each delicate finger. Then I savored her smooth, soft back, her rounded, pert buttocks, and her slender, jade-like legs.
Every inch of her feet. Xiaoxue, kissed all over her body, was almost completely limp, panting heavily, her eyes unfocused,
her small mouth only able to murmur softly.

Her lower garments had already been removed. After tasting every delicate toe, I slowly parted Xiaoxue's legs,
revealing two pale pink labia, with a large, sticky patch in the middle. Her body didn't lie;
it had responded to my intrusion with a triumphant roar. However, as a woman with a sense of shame, having her most
private parts completely exposed to a man other than her husband, and even reacting with desire, filled Xiaoxue with
unbearable . She covered her face with her hands and sobbed softly.

I lowered my head and inhaled the faint, slightly fishy fragrance of orchids, which was intoxicating. I couldn't help but stick out my tongue and lick
the flesh of her honeyed orifice. Xiaoxue's previously limp body convulsed violently as if struck by an electric shock, then
tensed up
. With each lick, Xiaoxue stretched and bent like a rubber band. When I took a big sip, she arched back as if the string had broken, her whole body becoming paralyzed and relaxed, a long sigh escaping her throat.

I breathed deeply into the intoxicating fragrance, licking every crevice of her flower, constantly sipping the gushing nectar, and
curling waist arched and tightened at times, then curled and went limp at others; it was hard to tell
whether it was a thousand pleasures or ten thousand torments.

After enjoying the most enchanting flower in the world, I sipped the protruding stamen, then
licked straight up from there, her pubic hair, navel, cleavage, until I reached her lips. My whole body was now in position, and I prepared myself,
thrusting my manhood into her flower without reservation.

The glans of flesh pressed against the warm, moist mud, stretching open the tight walls of her flesh to reach the deepest part of her dream. Xiaoxue, who had
been weeping suddenly widened her almond-shaped eyes, her mouth slightly parted, staring at me with a face full of terror, experiencing
this important moment as I became her man.

Xiaoxue and I were finally one! I gazed at Xiaoxue with deep affection, my lower body beginning to
move rhythmically, from slow to fast. Xiaoxue looked at me with a face that was neither crying nor laughing, her lower body slowly twisting to meet my
thrusts . Encouraged, I moved faster and faster uncontrollably, and with a few powerful thrusts,
I couldn't help but ejaculate prematurely in the midst of overstimulation and excitement, a large amount of my pent-up seed violently
injected into the deepest part of Xiaoxue's dream. Xiaoxue seemed to sense it too, gripping my shoulders tightly with both hands, her starry eyes hazy,
her face flushed. Her feminine instincts transformed her back into a virtuous and submissive woman, accepting the man's seed and nourishment.

This moment was the ecstasy of my life, the pinnacle of my existence. I was united with the woman I loved most,
planting the seed of my deepest affection into her dreams, imprinting the most intimate mark on her life, making her my
woman, belonging only to me for life. After conception, Xiaoxue's entire body turned pink, a
blissful testament to her acceptance of my love.

We sat breathlessly face to face, gazing at each other. The woman before me had a beautiful blush on her face, her eyes watery and captivating
, gazing at me tenderly. Looking at such a moving face, I couldn't resist lowering my head
to kiss her again. This time, Xiaoxue didn't resist; instead, she opened her small mouth and extended her tongue to meet mine. Overjoyed, I
closed my eyes, savoring the passionate intertwining of our tongues. My manhood, which had remained undone deep within my dreams after our release,
began to stir again.

Xiaoxue, already melted by my presence, swayed her slender waist and lovingly embraced my head, allowing me to
kiss her all over her body. My back ached from working for so long, and I wanted to change positions, but I didn't want to leave Xiaoxue, afraid that
the seed I had just injected would overflow. I grabbed one of Xiaoxue's legs and, while still inside her, rotated her
body, turning her onto her stomach. As she was being rotated while still connected to me, Xiaoxue couldn't help but let out
a cry like a fairy.

After turning her over, I thrust my hips forward with a powerful, deep thrust, her plump buttocks, which looked even more exaggerated from
behind , slapped loudly with each impact. Xiaoxue, with her back to me, initially bit
her arm and endured it silently, but as the thrusts became more and more intense and frequent, she finally couldn't hold back and let out a roaring
cry.

The creaking of the bed frame and the slapping of flesh against flesh rose and fell, faster
and more and more frequently, until finally blending into a single, long sound. Xiaoxue, her hair disheveled and back to me, went from roaring to
opening but unable to utter a sound. I couldn't control myself, dominating the woman I loved most from behind, wantonly torturing and ravaging her
. Then, in the wildest posture, at the peak of pleasure, I once again ejaculated my
deep .

With each release, my penis felt the vaginal walls spasm and twitch, knowing that Xiaoxue was
simultaneously reaching a soul-stirring climax with me, leaving me utterly satisfied.

After the climax, my excited body calmed down slightly. I turned Xiaoxue over using the same movements as before, feeling the grinding and rotating at our point
of contact again. Xiaoxue cried out again, her voice like a sob.

We looked at each other face to face again. Xiaoxue, her body filled with my seed, had shed all her ladylike dignity and shyness.
Her hair was disheveled, her face flushed, her eyes half-open, her gaze fixed on my face with a wild, lustful light.

I kissed and caressed her tenderly, my manhood, which hadn't left my side for a moment, began to throb again without fatigue.
Xiaoxue gently hooked her arms around my neck, swaying her hips naturally, shamelessly displaying her erotic pleasure. Honeyed fluids overflowed from the depths of her
already swollen cavity, making beautiful "plop plop" sounds.

We were intertwined on the bed like two snakes, lost in endless ecstasy, giving and receiving again
and again , tenderly loving, joyfully entwined.

"Yusheng! What are you doing, you beast!?"

A sudden roar rang out from outside the door. Startled from our ecstasy, we both looked towards the door. My brother stood there,
his face purple, glaring at us and roaring!

Startled, I quickly regained my composure. I coldly got up and dressed, while
Xiaoxue , hid under the covers, utterly ashamed.

"It was me! I'm the one who violated Xiaoxue!" I said coldly to my brother.

There was no turning back. I couldn't lose Xiaoxue, I couldn't hand her back to my brother. I faced
the consequences without hesitation: either I got Xiaoxue, or I'd rather die!

"She's your sister-in-law! Are you even human? I'll beat you to death, you beast!"

A powerful punch sent me flying, slamming me against the wall. Before I could even regain
my senses second punch came crashing down, blood splattering everywhere. My brother, who had always loved me the most, was completely out of control
, tears streaming down his face. He cornered me and beat me mercilessly.

I didn't resist, nor did I argue. This was my choice. I don't regret anything I did, but
seeing Xiaoxue standing there, tears streaming down her face, my heart ached! Xiaoxue, I'm so sorry! But this was
necessary , otherwise, as you said, we would have no future.

My brother, ten years my senior, has always felt responsible as the head of the family. Though he was strict with me, he
never physically punished his younger brother. I knew that behind the stern mask, he always loved me dearly. Now
, as my brother beat me like a madman, I clearly felt his grief, his disappointment in me, and
the depth of his love for Xiaoxue.

I'm sorry! Brother, falling in love with your sister-in-law, your brother has no way back. I had to take
this step. If I could overcome this hurdle, a bright future awaited me. Brother, hit me!
Beat me to death! But if in the end you can't bring yourself to kill this beast, then Xiaoxue and I will run away together
!

My brother beat me, cursed, and cried all at once. Finally, his tears dried and he ran out of words; he simply lost his mind and couldn't stop
hitting me. I felt my head was bleeding, my hands were broken, my sternum was fractured, and I was covered in blood from head to toe. My brother was also covered in
blood. I knew he didn't want to continue; I knew he kept telling himself to stop, but he just couldn't.
He couldn't face himself except by hitting me. One was his most beloved younger brother, and the other was his most cherished wife. Unable to face
reality , my brother, like me, had no way out.

When I saw blood gushing from my throat, my swollen and mangled lips, battered by the blows
, still managed a final, bitter smile. I knew I was going to die! I knew I wouldn't make it through this. Just as Xiaoxue had said,
we had no future!

"Stop! Fengyang, don't hit him anymore! No… he didn't force me!"
When I was close to death, Xiaoxue, who had been silent all along, suddenly stepped forward to stop her husband. She was
speaking up ! I didn't know if she was sincere or just trying to save me. At that moment, I felt only silent gratitude and a secret joy. Xiaoxue had
finally taken the first step for me! If we could overcome this obstacle and take this step, a bright future would lie ahead
!

As soon as Xiaoxue finished speaking, my brother's fist stopped, his legs stopped. He stared blankly back at Xiaoxue, still wrapped in a quilt
on the bed , tears welling in his desperate eyes again. Xiaoxue's sobs
ceased. The surroundings were so quiet that only the sound of my own heartbeat could be heard. The nearly burnt-out candlelight flickered, and the silhouettes of all
the people and objects danced wildly on the wall like demons.

Without leaving a word, my brother abandoned my and Xiaoxue's broken bodies and left the room, his steps as unsteady as the candlelight.
The next morning, the servants found my brother's already cold body, hanging in the west wing.

My family suffered a devastating blow. My father, heartbroken beyond tears, only uttered two sentences to me:
"Go! I never want to see you again in this life!"

That was the last time I saw my father's face. Alternating between lucidity and unconsciousness, I was too weak to even get out of bed.
Servants carried me in a carriage to my second uncle's house in the south of the city. I lay there for six months. When I was finally able to walk again
, I returned home, but the servants dared not let me in. My steward, Uncle Huai, who had always been kind to me, secretly told me that Xiaoxue had
returned to her maternal family in Shenyang shortly after I was sent away. I immediately rushed to Shenyang. Upon seeing me, Xiaoxue's family, without a word,
carried me out with a wooden cane. Three months later, when I went to find Xiaoxue again, I discovered that her entire family had moved away from Shenyang,
and I had lost all contact with them.

Years later, the eight-year War of Resistance against Japan broke out. In this time of national crisis, I wandered alone, searching for Xiaoxue
's family, but to no avail.

A few years later, I received a letter from my second uncle informing me of my father's passing. At that time, war raged,
Beiping fell, and communication was cut off. The letter, having been delivered through several detours, arrived three months
after my father's death, so I abandoned my risky plan to return to Beijing for the funeral.

More than a decade passed like flowing water until last year, when, on a sudden whim, I returned to
Beiping, which I had left more than ten years prior. My old home was deserted, with only a seventeen or eighteen-year-old
girl , Uncle Huai, tending to it. I felt a strange affection and admiration for this girl, yet she always seemed so distant, ultimately
unreachable.

After settling into the ancestral home, the girl and I went to pay our respects to my father. To my utter shock, I discovered
a new grave next to my father's and brother's tombs, inscribed "Tomb of Xiaoxue of the Huo Family of Fangmen!"

That very night, the girl who had been guarding the house vanished without a trace. The next morning, I went to Uncle Huai, and
only then did I learn that the strange girl was not his relative; her name was Fang. Light Rain!

Part Two

[Half a Lifetime's Fate]
As the station's grand clock struck seven again, the world had quietly changed. I returned to reality from the fleeting glimpses of
the past . I was still in my old family home, the winter morning light illuminating every
corner, the dark particles of last night completely gone.

However, I would not forget the fact that Xiaoxue was no longer alive
. The person who gave me the motivation to live was gone.

In reality, Xiaoxue was no longer alive. My chest felt like it had been ripped open. My mind
was filled with memories of living with Xiaoxue: the playful cobblestone path, the darkness of the air-raid shelter,
the cold wind blowing all night, the sound of the trees swaying, her favorite dragon beard noodles, the gentle moon, the winter morning sunlight,
and that unforgettable sweet profile.

This year, life and death intertwined, and I wandered alone in painful memories. The memories were
so real, yet reality was so illusory. Everything before me seemed unchanged; every day
was the same as the day before. I lost the continuity of time, lost my connection with the world.
Living had no future, no direction. What I saw, knew, and felt only echoed hollowly, causing
a deep ache in my chest.

A year passed, and I finally recovered from the fact that Xiaoxue was dead. But the dead are gone, and
what about the living? Where is Xiaoyu now? There

were two knocks on the door.

"Second Young Master, it's me."

It was Uncle Huai, the butler.

The door opened, and Uncle Huai came in with a basin of hot water to help me wash.

"Uncle Huai, you don't need to serve me. These past years I've traveled the world and learned to take care of myself
. I'm not the pampered boy I used to be."

"It's my duty. Uncle Huai is just a servant. I'm overjoyed to see you back, Second Young Master!"

"Yes, didn't you say that Miss Fang comes back every year around this time to pay respects to my elder brother and young mistress
?"

"Yes! Ever since Miss Fang brought back young mistress's body for burial four years ago, she comes back every winter to
stay for ten days or so to visit her. You met her around this time last year, didn't you? But you
're right, Second Young Master, why hasn't Miss Fang appeared this year, even after the anniversary of the eldest young mistress's death? Is there some kind of obstacle on her journey? Yes
, Second Young Master, the Japanese devils were only driven out a few years ago, and I heard that the country is about to have a civil war again. Do you think it might
really start?"

How could I have the leisure to think about the country's mess? My mind was full of Xiaoyu, and
I ignored . Seeing that I was in a daze, Uncle Huai also stepped back understandingly.

Xiaoyu, are you avoiding me?

Suddenly, a shadow blocked the sunlight. I looked up at the window, and the curtains were fluttering in the breeze.

Xiaoxue stood by the window, gazing at me with a sad expression.

"Xiaoxue, can you tell me where Xiaoyu is?"

Xiaoxue shook her head slightly, then looked out the window towards Dongda Street, her sorrow unchanged.

A gust of north wind blew by, pulling up the curtains and obscuring Xiaoxue's figure. When the curtains slowly fell back down
, Xiaoxue was gone.

In reality, Xiaoxue was no longer there.

I went to the window and saw a large crowd gathered in the direction of Tiananmen Square on Dongda Street, a cacophony of voices. My
thoughts stirred, and I quickly washed and changed, then went out to see what was happening.

Thousands of students had gathered in the Dongda Street area,
marching and demonstrating under the banners of "anti-hunger," "anti-persecution," and "anti-Americanism," waving flags, distributing leaflets, and chanting slogans. The military and police were on high
alert , tensions high, ready to erupt at any moment.

I, who had never cared about the country, joined the crowd of onlookers, looking around. At that moment
, I didn't even know why I was standing there, or what I was looking for.

Suddenly, every nerve in my body tensed. In the dense crowd, I saw
the figure of a girl with a long braid!

Just then, a gunshot rang out from somewhere, and the thousands of people instantly
erupted into a riot, the scene spiraling out of control. Citizens scattered, students rushed towards the police and soldiers, and the police and soldiers rushed towards
the students . Many were shouting, many were crying, some fell, some lay on the ground.
A few more gunshots rang out intermittently, the situation utterly chaotic.

I rushed to the spot where I had seen the girl, but she was nowhere to be seen amidst the chaotic crowd
.

Was she Xiaoyu? Was she Xiaoyu? Was she Xiaoyu?

A wave of panic washed over me. Suddenly, a policeman, wielding a wooden baton, charged towards me. Seeing my worn-out beige
long gown probably thought I was a professor from Peking University!

I stood there, stunned, my mind blank. Just as I was about to be struck by a thunderbolt, a small stone flew out
of nowhere and hit the soldier in the face. He collapsed in pain, clutching his face. Before I
could even react, someone grabbed my right hand and pulled me away.

We rushed out of the crowd. She pulled me along as we ran, and I was pulled along as she pulled me along
. It felt like we were escaping the shackles of the world, breaking free from worldly constraints. It was as if the world consisted only of the
two of , and we were adrift in the wind, running to the ends of the earth. I ran and ran with her, and a long
braid swayed straight ahead, brushing against my face. The scent of roses was intoxicating. I recognized the
fragrance ; I had smelled it last year, and I had smelled it twenty years ago.

Finally, we left the area where the crowd had gathered and ran to a secluded alley to rest and catch our breath.

I gasped for breath, trying to confirm who had saved me. The girl before me had a long braid
, her eyes like dark ink dots, her lips like ripe peaches, and her features,
though delicate, held a hint of wildness and melancholy, like a forest sprite with two transparent wings from Western mythology, fallen to earth.

She was the girl who had brought me back to my senses and simultaneously led me astray again in the Fang family mansion last year.

Her name was: Fang Xiaoyu!

Xiaoyu, having caught her breath, gave me an unfriendly look, then said, "I'm leaving!" and
got up to leave.

I held her hand, not letting her leave. Our skin touched again, and the emotions of that night in the ancestral home last year stirred once
more . Those fragments of memory, often unintentionally knocking on my heart,
replayed in my mind like a film…

“I…I’m sorry! Mr. Fang, I didn’t know you’d come here, Uncle Huai…I heard you haven’t
been back for over ten years, so…” “

It’s alright. Hey! What’s your name?” “

I…my name is…Fang…” “

Fang? Your name is Fang?” “

Yes…just call me Xiao Fang!…Come on! Let me get your luggage for you.”
“No need, I can do it myself.”

………

“Sir, how are you?” “

I’m much better now.” “

Yes, sir, who was that woman in the grave this morning…” “

She?…She…is my sister-in-law.” “

Sister-in-law? But you seemed very sad just now.” “

Yes! I was really sad! Because…she was the woman I loved most in my life!” “

What? Then…but…”

"But she's my sister-in-law! Although I shouldn't, I just love her! I still love
her like that to this day!" "

This...this...sir, can you tell Xiaofang about your past with her?"

...

Sir, do you still think about Xiaoxue? "

Of course I do! To this day, she's still in my heart, influencing my life, influencing my destiny.
I can't let go of the past, I can't start over. How can you expect me not to think about her?" "

But last night..."

...

Xiaoxue couldn't bear the burden of her mind and reality under the cold gaze of worldly authority and morality to complete
the so-called path of life. She died because of you, and yet you think about women every day!
What have you done for Xiaoxue?" "

Last...last night I'm so sorry! But...last night you reminded me of Xiaoxue, your back view was...like her!"

...

Xiao...Xiaofang? What are you doing? I

was so drunk and dizzy that I couldn't make a definite judgment.

Xiaoyu stood before me in Xiaoxue's pajamas from years ago.

I just want you to know that I truly loved you back then!

…

"Let go of me! What are you doing?" Xiaoyu forcefully shook off my hand, the flashback to the old house from last year abruptly
ending .

Returning to the present, after a brief standoff, I spoke first: "Xiaoyu, aren't you going to pay respects to your mother?"

"What did you say? What Xiaoyu? What do you mean you're not going to pay respects to my mother?" the little girl stammered.

"I've met Uncle Huai. He told me your name is Fang Xiaoyu, and four years ago, you were the one who brought Xiaoxue back
for her burial ."

Xiaoyu turned her face away from me, her tail swaying like a pendulum.

"I'm asking you, aren't you going to pay respects to your mother?"

"…I already did, but I've been staying at the hotel. I originally planned…to
stay at the old house for a few days after you left before leaving again." Her eyes darted around, still refusing to look at me.

That's true! Remembering what happened at the old house last year, it's only natural that she felt awkward in front of me. “It’s

chaotic around here right now. It would be a real problem if a girl like you got caught by the military or police. Let’s go to the hotel to check out
and then we can talk things over back at the main house.”

“I’m not going back!” She turned her head away defiantly.

“You didn’t go back to the main house to avoid me. Now that you can’t avoid me, what are you doing outside?”

Xiaoyu was speechless for a moment and couldn’t argue with me. I half-dragged her back to the main house.

The Fang family mansion, which had been passed down for more than three generations, was weathered and located at the very end of Jizhao Hutong in Beiping .
It was far from the bustling city center and surrounded by lush greenery. After the snow, the entire mansion was shrouded in a strong sense of antiquity
. It was a traditional courtyard house.

After entering the red-lacquered gate with lion-head bronze rings, and passing through the corridor of the rear building and the hanging flower gate, you reach
the spacious filled with flowers and potted plants. Behind the inner courtyard is the main house, with the east wing to the right and the west wing to the left.
In the past, my father and his wives and concubines all lived in the main house, while it was customary for the eldest son to live in the east wing and the other family members to live in the west wing. However, because
the house was so large, the east wing was divided into front and back rooms for my brother and me, while the west wing was used as a guest room for
entertaining guests. The east wing itself was already extremely magnificent, with a pond garden and a small pavilion
garden at the end of the corridors of the left and right side rooms, planted with jujube trees and grapevines all year round. The corridor area exuded endless charm. On the
morning , I sat there alone and quietly shed tears.

Twenty years later, Xiaoyu and I sat in the spot where Xiaoxue sat back then. I was telling Xiaoyu about the scene when I first saw Xiaoxue cry
that night , while Xiaoyu silently threw pebbles into the pond, and the carp in the pond
scurried away.

I asked her, "Xiaoyu, how have you and your daughter been all these years?"

She told me that ever since I went to Shenyang to find Xiaoxue and was forcibly taken away, Xiaoxue's shameful affair with her husband's family could no longer
be hidden . Whether it was voluntary or forced, a woman who has lost her virginity is considered wicked. Gossip is a terrible thing, and the Huo family
has suffered cold stares and whispers from all sides day and night. Xiaoxue, pregnant and heavily pregnant, was even attacked when she went out. The Huo family
was so ashamed that they had no choice but to move to Liaoning. There, Mr. Huo sought refuge with a sworn
brother who had business dealings with the Japanese. No one there knew the Huo family, and no one would find them. Even if someone knew about Xiaoxue's affair, they couldn't afford
to offend .

At this moment, I remembered Xiaoxue's sorrowful words on the banks of Beidaihe: "Yusheng, you will never understand the sorrow of being a woman
!" I couldn't hide my grief.

The discriminatory glances and sarcastic remarks from everyone around her were the accumulated, invisible wounds. Because of herself, she had harmed
her entire family, and she could never forgive herself. She was constantly depressed, and after giving birth to Xiaoyu, she was
plagued . When Xiaoyu was ten years old, Xiaoxue, who had no will to live,
left this world with an unresolved heartache. Later, as the Japanese army suffered repeated defeats and many areas and transportation were reopened, Xiaoxue's younger
brother, who loved her and her daughter the most, took the fourteen-year-old Xiaoyu to send Xiaoxue back to Beiping for a peaceful burial, fulfilling Xiaoxue
's wish to "be born a member of the Fang family, and die a ghost of the Fang family."

When I regained some composure, I found myself silently shedding tears under the starry winter night, while
Xiaoyu , her head resting on my shoulder, was also weeping uncontrollably. Before I knew it, it was evening. I cried silently, tears welling up in
my eyes only to flow again immediately. The once peaceful house, the ancient trees, the pavilions, even my
own feet suddenly felt burning hot in the cold wind. My breath caught in my throat; I was overwhelmed with grief.

"Why weren't you with us then?" Xiaoyu said softly, her voice so much like her mother's.

I was speechless.

"Where's your uncle? Why are you the only one who's come back these past two years?" After a moment, I spoke again, putting my hand on
Xiaoyu's shoulder. She didn't stop me.

"He's dead. He was killed two years ago when the Japanese army retreated, for my sake." Xiaoyu's voice was cold and
lifeless .

"And you, a young girl, have been the only one to return home alone these past two years. What's wrong with the Huo family?!"

Xiaoyu didn't reply. Her silence was the answer. It was so clear that,
apart , the entire Huo family hadn't treated this ill-fated mother and daughter well.

"Please stay. Don't go back to the Northeast." I gently stroked her hair.

"No, I have to catch the train back tomorrow morning. I was planning to go to the station to buy a ticket this morning." Xiaoyu kept
fiddling with the end of her braid.

"Why are you rushing back?"

"To get married."

"Get married!? You're only eighteen, why are you in such a hurry to get married?" I was utterly astonished, turning to look at
Xiaoyu.

She suddenly stood up, her large, dark eyes glaring at me with surprise and anger: "Why!? You
're asking me why!? You really don't understand why I'm in such a hurry to get married!?" With that, she ran away.

Back at the door of the room where my older brother Xiaoxue had lived, Xiaoxue didn't turn around and coldly said, "You wouldn't understand the sorrow of
being a girl!" Then she closed the door.

Suddenly, it dawned on me. I was such a rash fool. Of course, Xiaoyu's eagerness to find her master's family
was all because of me!

A year ago, in winter, I met Xiaoyu in this large house. I thought she was just an ordinary servant.
When we went together to pay respects to my father and brother, I was shocked to find Xiaoxue's grave next to it. In my deep sorrow, I
told Xiaoyu about my past with Xiaoxue, confessing my feelings for her over the past twenty years.

That night, the wind and snow outside howled incessantly, the wind whistling against the paper windows, muffled and straining, as if it were about to tear them apart.
Yes. We were both drunk. Suddenly, Xiaoyu changed into her mother's clothes from twenty years ago and came to me,
gazing at me tenderly, saying, "I just want you to know that I truly loved you back then!"

Drunk and incoherent, I mistook Xiaoyu for Xiaoxue and pulled her into bed! A night of madness
ensued, and the next morning Xiaoyu disappeared without a word.

That year, I searched everywhere, never imagining Xiaoyu would be in the most turbulent Northeast. I couldn't find her.
The only thing I learned from Uncle Huai was that for the past four winters, Xiaoyu had always returned to pay respects to her mother. Therefore, this
winter, I stayed at the ancestral home, waiting for her return.

It was late at night, and all around was deathly quiet, utterly silent, not even the wind could be heard. I lay on my bed in
my room, staring blankly into the void. The silent night only amplified the inexplicable sorrow. I
looked up at the night sky through the skylight, and among the constellations of the clear winter, I couldn't find my place in the darkness.

In the vast, dark night, when everyone else was asleep, I was utterly alone, unable to sleep, my heart in turmoil.
Today, I reunited with Xiaoyu, but tomorrow, when the sun rises above the horizon, I will
lose Xiaoyu again. I know very well that after tomorrow's parting, we will never see each other again in this life; I will lose Xiaoyu forever
, and my last connection with Xiaoxue will be severed forever.

Lost in thought, tossing and turning, I suddenly felt the door creak open, letting in a blurry, pale moonlight.
I looked out from the dim room, and the bright moonlight illuminated
the figure of . The fairy stood on the door, looking at me, her long, flowing hair cascading over her shoulders.

Of course, I recognized Xiaoyu, but Xiaoxue had been appearing in my dreams and in my sleep, giving
me a sense of unreality. I couldn't be sure of anything; the woman before me made my heart pound wildly.

The person in front of me came in and sat down on the bed. Without a word, she ran into the covers and lay down
beside

. "I'm cold! I don't want to sleep alone!" she said to me with her back turned.

It was Xiaoyu, no doubt.

I never expected Xiaoyu to be so affectionate with me. In the starlight of the night, I
felt a strong sense of happiness at Xiaoyu's sudden affection, a slightly guilty yet exceptionally sweet happiness. I thought that as long as the sun
didn't , she would stay by my side forever, comforting me.

Like everyone else, I once had my family, but as time passed, they
left my world one by one, leaving me all alone. Looking back, everything before me seemed so real, like
a mirage . Why was I the only one still alive? In this big house where I grew up, I
had clearly spent many years, so why was I the only one left in the end?

It turns out I wasn't alone! Today I realized I wasn't alone after all! Xiaoyu was in front of me, and
I was behind Xiaoyu. Tonight I no longer feel lonely. This place might be the haven I've always dreamed of, a place where I can
forget today and stop thinking about the future.
"Xiaoyu, who are your husband's family?" I asked tentatively.

"Not really," she said coldly.

"How can you not know?! What's wrong with you?" I asked, adopting a stern fatherly tone.

"Ever since my mother died, my in-laws have been constantly asking matchmakers to introduce me to potential partners, as if they really want to send me
off as soon as possible. But they haven't forced me. It was last year… after I went back home, I was so anxious.
I just wanted someone to take me as soon as possible. I didn't even know who was proposing, and I agreed without thinking. I never imagined the wedding
would take a whole year! Luckily, my belly… didn't… get big, otherwise… I probably would
n't even be a human being anymore."

Sigh! It's all because of me!

"Is it really impossible not to go back?"

"Mother has already caused my in-laws so much suffering, how can you expect me to hurt them again?"

"But are you willing to accept this?"

"Whether I am or not, this is the fate of a girl."

Her tone didn't sound like that of an eighteen-year-old girl, but rather like that of a weathered, white-haired palace maid. Her words
left a lingering sense of sorrow, slowly seeping into my heart. The sorrowful footprints left by Xiaoxue were now
being trampled upon step by step by Xiaoyu.

Xiaoyu's words, which reached my ears intermittently, made me feel infinitely lost. Heartfelt words at night always
inevitably carry a sense of loneliness, and understanding the truth always brings sorrow. Like a guilty child, I
listened listlessly, caught between self-reproach and unease.

At this moment, Xiaoyu slowly turned to face me. We were face to face, our noses almost touching. I smelled
Xiaoyu 's fragrant breath and saw the starlight in her pupils.

This scene felt strangely familiar. Twenty years ago, Xiaoxue and I were inside an air-raid shelter…

Xiaoyu looked into my eyes and gently stroked my face.

“Before Mother passed away, she kept talking about you and her. She told me that my father was an absolute
villain!”

Although I had long accepted that Xiaoyu was my daughter, I couldn't completely rule out the possibility that she was my brother's child.
But now, hearing it from Xiaoyu's own lips, I felt a powerful surge of emotion.

The person sleeping next to me was my own daughter! My own
daughter with whom I had been intimate a year ago!

“She told me many things about you. She said you abused her in the air-raid shelter, often staring blankly at her
body, and she even knew you often spied on her while she was bathing!”

My face flushed red as my own daughter recounted all my youthful and shameful acts, and I didn't know what to say.

"Mother also told me that my father was handsome with delicate features, a melancholic and endearing expression, the kind of child who, no matter what he did wrong, was
impossible be angry with. So...it's true! My father is over forty years old, yet his face is still as handsome as
jade, he looks like a down-on-his-luck thirty-year-old, but his personality is like a sentimental, melancholic twenty-year-old..."

Xiaoyu's slender hand stroked my face, confirming my ears, then traced
the shape An intangible emotion enveloped my entire body, and I felt a surge of excitement, as if struck by lightning.

"My father and mother's story is tragic, yet romantic. Everyone has their own idealized romantic love story,
and my father and mother's story is Xiaoyu's childhood fantasy and hope.
How wonderful it would be to love passionately and unconditionally at least once in a lifetime! Since I was little, I've wanted to see if my father, as my mother said, was a wicked man who could bewitch a girl's
soul . Love stories are true after all! If I were my mother, I..." Xiaoyu's pupils shone with...
An unusual light shone through, and her alluring breath brushed against my face. I remembered
what had happened on this bed the winter before I left, and my heart stirred.

"Xiaoyu, I'm your father. And you, you're about to become someone else's wife." My mind was in turmoil.

"I know! I'll never have another chance for love, and we, father and daughter, are
destined for hell! Just because I'm about to leave you, Father, can I be your Xiaoxue one more time? Just
this once! There won't be a next time!"

Indeed, we, father and daughter, could never be reborn as humans; worldly affairs were no longer relevant to us!
Before my thoughts could settle, Xiaoyu's lips were already firmly pressed against mine.

A year ago, on that night, I didn't know Xiaoyu's true identity, but now, lying in bed with my eighteen-year-old daughter,
kissing her lips, it was an unprecedented feeling. My heart
trembled , every cell in my body roared fiercely—not in pain, but in jubilation!

Go to hell! Let it be unconventional! Let it be forever condemned! Who says a sister-in-law and brother-in-law can't love each other? And who
says a father and daughter can't share shoes? It's the so-called shackles of worldly ethics and morality that have plunged Xiaoxue and me
into an abyss. Xiaoxue's life is ruined, and so is my first half. Twenty years
ago, I was so resolute, but today, with only a shaky life and a tiny bit of time left, what am I still
struggling for? Whether it's Xiaoyu, Xiaoxue, my daughter, or my sister-in-law, we
're having an immoral and illicit affair, so what! Can Heaven control me?

With my mind made up, I turned around and pressed Xiaoyu down on my lips, my tongue slowly prying open her teeth and invading her mouth. Xiaoyu
was startled at first, then slowly closed her eyes, relaxed her body, and enjoyed her father's French kiss.

As I licked my daughter's delicate tongue, my hands roamed freely, exploring her breasts. Xiaoyu's breasts weren't
large, but lying down like small dumplings, they were still high and firm, full and resonant, possessing the unique
texture of a developing young girl.

Once her clothes were undone, I kissed Xiaoyu's small mouth, leaving no part of her neck, collarbone, or shoulders untouched.
Then, calmly and slowly, I admired the alluring lines of her half-naked upper body. Seeing Xiaoyu shyly close her eyes and
turn her face away, I lowered my head and gently tasted her already erect nipples, my tongue lingering around them. Xiaoyu's
brow furrowed, as if in pain, yet also in ecstasy.

I kissed from her nipple to the base of her breast, then sought her armpit, deeply inhaling her rose-like, girlish fragrance. I gently licked and nibbled at her
sparse, grassy armpit hair. Whether it was ticklishness or shyness, Xiaoyu dodged left and right, preventing me from licking her. I could only
bury my face in her small breasts for comfort. Xiaoyu held my head tenderly, and we whispered sweet nothings in each other's
ears , our love tender and intimate.

In our tender moment, I reached between Xiaoyu's legs. The girl's most private parts were
being caressed by a man's dirty hand. She instinctively clenched her fists, then slowly relaxed, fully revealing the restlessness and
unease .

I pressed down on Xiaoyu's slightly protruding mound with one hand, then squeezed it hard. Xiaoyu immediately trembled
, curling up like a shrimp. I pulled down her trousers, and my middle finger went straight into her tender crevice,
gently probing with each stroke. With each stroke, Xiaoyu trembled.

After fiddling around for a while, I pulled out my middle finger, which was covered in clumps of thin, sticky liquid. I put my finger in
my mouth ; it was the unique taste of my own daughter's nectar, and I wanted to savor it.

Xiaoyu pulled my hand away: "No! It's dirty!"

"How could Xiaoyu's be dirty? It's fragrant and sweet, I want to eat it in big gulps!" I spread Xiaoyu's legs,
which were already overflowing with moisture. I lowered my head and sucked and licked with abandon. Xiaoyu's whole body stiffened as I ate her,
her hands flailing wildly in confusion, moaning incoherently.

The wetter she became, the more I sucked, and the wetter she became, her private parts were already a vast ocean. At this point, Xiaoyu was a little out of her mind, her waist
and legs spasming and twitching, her eyes half-closed, only able to moan "No...no..."

I hoisted Xiaoyu's legs, which had been dazed, onto my shoulders, aligned my rock-hard member, and slowly
succumbed to her overflowing, blissful state. My own flesh and blood were finally united, enveloped
in the warm, soft, and smooth walls of my daughter's flesh. The transcendent, soul-stirring sensation was like reaching
paradise , incomparable to any ordinary woman without blood ties.

Xiaoyu, jolted awake by my thrust, opened her eyes and looked at me.

"Does it hurt?" I asked tenderly.

"No," Xiaoyu smiled and shook her head, "But last year it hurt for two days!" She giggled playfully
and shyly, then hugged me tightly.

Our tongues intertwined again. I held Xiaoyu, my lower body slowly rubbing against hers, then steadily
and rhythmically thrusting in and out. Xiaoyu's waist swayed back and forth, trembling, responding to my thrusts.

The movements grew faster and faster, and honeyed fluids splattered deep within Xiaoyu. Her face flushed red, her expression twitching as if she were both crying and laughing
, and her breathing became increasingly rapid. I could have maintained this for a little longer, but I didn't want to suppress my primal
desires. I lowered Xiaoyu's legs, allowing our bodies to press tightly together in an embrace. I held Xiaoyu tightly,
thrusting and pumping with all my might. Xiaoyu bit my shoulder, her fingers digging deep into my back muscles.

"Call me Daddy!"

"Daddy!"

"Call me again!"

"Daddy...Daddy!"

Seeing Xiaoyu's distressed expression as she looked at me, constantly calling out "Daddy," I realized that I was
defiling my own daughter! That feeling of defying heaven and committing incest filled me with unparalleled excitement.

"Daddy...Daddy...Hehe...Daddy...Daddy...Hehe..."

Reaching the peak of my thrusts, in a state where my spirit and body were one with Xiaoyu's,
I planted the seed of incest deep within her heart.

Although it wasn't our first time having sex, this was the first time I, as Xiaoyu's father, had completely possessed
my own biological daughter, planting the seeds of incest within her. What father and daughter in the world could be as intimate as
we are ? I am certain that it's not because I love Xiaoxue, but because I truly love Xiaoyu. She is
Pandora's box filled with all the memories and secrets of Xiaoxue and me, the most precious
treasure . I so sincerely want to have her, to possess her, this
precious daughter who has half my body and half Xiaoxue's body. I need nothing but Xiaoyu.

I lay panting on top of Xiaoyu, unwilling to leave her, but undeniably, I was getting on in years
. My penis, having finished its act, involuntarily softened and withdrew from her. Still burning with desire, I had a sudden inspiration. I climbed
up, straddled Xiaoyu's head, and placed my limp penis in her mouth.

Xiaoyu stared in astonishment, looking at my face then at my penis, unsure what to do. After all, she was just
a traditional, virtuous woman, how could she know the pleasures of love between men and women?

"Xiaoyu, be good, put it in your mouth, don't be afraid, every woman serves a man like this." I
was actually lying to my own daughter! How many virtuous women would do such a thing? In fact
, even in the Eight Great Hutongs, not all prostitutes were willing to do this; only lower-class prostitutes wearing suggestive rings
would offer such lewd services.

Xiaoyu believed me. Her feminine instincts led her, half-frightened, to slowly take that ugly
thing into her mouth. Instantly, a hot, wet, tingling sensation spread through my penis, giving me unparalleled pleasure. At that
moment, my own daughter was tasting the very thing that gave birth to her, inhaling
the faint, fishy smell of her father's semen, stimulating her father's lust with her tongue—both vulgar and shameless, yet intoxicatingly pleasurable.

I thrust in and out of Xiaoyu's mouth, instructing her on how to lick. At first, Xiaoyu obeyed
shyly and clumsily, but slowly, driven by primal female desire, she began to actively and rhythmically suck and lick.
Stimulated by my daughter's most vulgar techniques, my penis quickly became erect again. I signaled Xiaoyu
to stop and turn over, lying prone. I entered from behind, and we intercourse again.

I thrust into her from behind, my hands busy reaching for Xiaoyu's swaying, beautiful breasts, and
kissing her smooth, jade-like back. The incestuous act of mating with her father, a posture fit for animals, filled Xiaoyu with unbearable shame. She
buried her face in the blankets, enduring my thrusts. I wanted to thoroughly humiliate and discipline her. I grabbed her
long , pulling her face up, her open mouth emitting moans of "Ooh... Ooh..."

I grabbed her arms, lifting her entire upper body off the blankets. Kneeling on the bed, she
and I shared only one point of contact, completely unable to resist my relentless thrusts, her
cries of "Ooh... Ooh... Ooh... Ooh..." rising and falling.

With a final, powerful thrust, I released her, and Xiaoyu flew to the corner of the bed like a rag doll, her buttocks facing the sky,
the pent-up nectar gushing from her vagina. Such a wondrous sight! I couldn't help but lower my head to drink the sweet nectar of
the willow branch . Xiaoyu, her body limp and powerless, could only utter two sharp sounds, letting me indulge
in the sensation of being freely consumed by my father.

I laid Xiaoyu on the bed like a doll, and we resumed our usual face-to-face position. Looking at
Xiaoyu now, her skin was a patchwork of red and white, radiating a blush of pleasure, and her intoxicating fragrance was even
stronger—beautiful yet tender. I embraced her and kissed her deeply, then pulled her hands apart, licking her areolas and armpits from left to right and then
right to left. Xiaoyu opened her arms, generously allowing me to suckle. At this moment, her
mouth was half-open, her eyes incredibly alluring, displaying her pleasure and desire without any shame.

I swayed my hips, rubbing and thrusting, constantly changing the direction and intensity of our intercourse, exploring
the most sensitive and moving places deep within Xiaoyu's heart. Suddenly, Xiaoyu let out a gasp. I pinpointed the point of impact and
attacked with all my might. Xiaoyu's face tightened, and she gripped my arm tightly, tears of pleasure streaming down her face. I
drew concentrating my attack on that one spot with maximum force and amplitude. With a final, all-out thrust, I felt
the strongest spasmodic fetal movements emanating from the depths of Xiaoyu's dream. Nectar gushing forth from her climax splashed continuously from the crevices. My
manhood, deep in its blissful dream, felt a violent impact like an earthquake or tsunami. Infected by this, I also reached my peak, ejaculating the sacred seed of incest with the most
exhilarating feeling.

All night, frost and snow fell outside the room, while Xiaoyu and I entwined inside, cuddling and playing together afterward.
After resting, she would use her little mouth to revitalize me, and the two of us would unite again. All night long, I used
every position I had ever learned to make love to Xiaoyu. By the third time, she no longer needed to ask; she would actively use her mouth to
revive me. I said I was tired, and she even took the initiative to sit on top of me, swaying and twisting like a thirsty woman. In just one
night, I had trained my daughter into a little prostitute. Time passed slowly, my back ached, my penis hurt
, and I even missed my climax, but I still couldn't stop. Father and daughter were intertwined in a spiritual union until dawn. We were
both oblivious to the act of stealing, and also oblivious to the escape.

The large clock at the South City Station had already struck six. The bright
sunlight
streamed in through the bedroom window. Soon, after the clock struck seven, Uncle Huai, the housekeeper, would knock on the door with warm water for washing. At this moment, I sat exhausted on the edge of the bed, while Xiaoyu, her naked body bathed in the morning light, was still
sucking on my genitals. I told Xiaoyu to stop, but she ignored me and continued sucking desperately.

"Alright, alright. Uncle Huai should be here soon," I said weakly.

Xiaoyu still ignored me and continued sucking. I felt a few warm drops of water dripping onto my lower abdomen,
more and more, until they even dripped down my genitals. I was speechless, heartbroken.

After the last two drops of fluid were extracted from my seminal vesicles, Xiaoyu didn't even vomit. She returned to her room just before Uncle
Huai knocked on the door. We changed our clothes and left the room as if nothing had happened,
ate breakfast as if nothing had happened, and then went out into the biting cold wind of a winter morning in Beiping, heading to the North City
Station .

The streets were constantly sifted by the misty snow. Looking ahead, all I could see was a hazy white fog where the sky met the ground
, and the horizon was blurred. The rickshaw arrived at the North Station. The winter station was filled with a melancholic atmosphere,
shrouded in a thin layer of white morning mist and snow. Perhaps because it was still early, the station was deserted; only
porters and rickshaw drivers in yellow uniforms were idling, and a few stalls were selling steaming hot snacks and breakfasts. I bought
a first-class ticket to Liaoning at the ticket office; the train departed in half an hour.

Xiaoyu and I sat silently on the platform bench, surrounded by a white morning mist. The scenery was
so hazy, as if we were separated from the world by the fog, abandoned on its edge. It's a pity that these two
lost souls, on this small path of life, could never find a way to converge,
and when the mist dissipated, we would be separated forever.

"Shall I go buy you something hot to eat on the train?" I asked Xiaoyu beside me.

"Don't run away!"

Xiaoyu was already crying.

Soon, the train arrived. We remained seated on the bench, motionless. Xiaoyu rested her head on my shoulder, her left hand
's fingers weaving between my right. We both had
so yet we didn't know where to begin, or how much we could express.

Of all those words, the one I couldn't tell Xiaoyu was my promise and vow as her man
.

New black smoke rose from the train's chimney, and the engine room began adding fuel to prepare for the new journey. Hearing
the train 's whistle, Xiaoyu gripped my hand even tighter.

This was the end of our journey; Xiaoyu and I would be forever separated. Time was running
out. I half-pulled, half-pushed Xiaoyu onto the train. As soon as she boarded, she found a window seat, half her body
peering through the window, weeping as she gazed at me.

That one glance became your final farewell. Any further entanglement would only add to the sorrow. I suppressed
the agonizing pain in my heart and turned away without looking back. I thought of Xiaoyu still weeping as she watched my retreating figure,
and a pang of heartache shot through me.

The train slowly pulled away.

Farewell, Xiaoyu.

Farewell, Xiaoxue.

My heart ached so much that I couldn't help but cover my face with my hands and sob uncontrollably.

In my closed eyes, Xiaoxue reappeared before me.

She sat coldly on the pavilion, watching the pattering rain outside, her face filled with sorrow and bitterness.

Xiaoxue stared blankly at the raindrops outside the pavilion. Suddenly, she stretched her hands out over the eaves of the pavilion,
catching the raindrops. Then, Xiaoxue turned back to me with pleading eyes, extending her rain-soaked hands
towards me…

“Xiaoyu!” I abruptly opened my eyes and turned around angrily.

My shouts drowned out the surrounding noise. The men and women coming and going, startled, stared at me in
stunned , including Xiaoyu, whose eyes never left me.

The train was slowly starting to move. I took off running, catching up to Xiaoyu, who was still peering out the window, and ran
alongside .

"Xiaoyu, I'm telling you, you're my woman! I won't allow you to marry any other man! You
'll always belong to me!" I shouted at her.

Xiaoyu, on the train, covered her face and shook her head repeatedly, saying emotionally, "No, no,
it's impossible..."

"I don't care about it, okay! Let me tell you, I, Fang Yusheng, am a genuine villain! No matter
where you marry, I will come looking for you, I will find you, destroy your marriage, and then steal you away! I, Fang Yusheng ,
mean what I say!"

The train was about to leave the platform, and I was extremely anxious. I continued to shout out my true feelings: "Xiaoyu, you
have no choice! No one else's happiness is more important than your own! You will have your own
love story! As for you and me, we were destined for hell long ago, so what's there to worry about? Why do you care about others
? Don't care what others think of you, how others look at you has nothing to do with you! Back then, Xiaoxue
had the right to choose but resigned herself to it. What she couldn't do, you will do today! Come! Xiaoyu! Come back to me!
Come with me!"

Hearing my confession, Xiaoyu, her eyelashes fluttering with tears, covered her face and nodded repeatedly. Though she didn't show it outwardly,
she was filled with joy. She was going all out! She grabbed her small suitcase and ran to the doorless
exit , but the train kept accelerating, and Xiaoyu stood hesitant and afraid at the exit.

With only ten feet or so to the edge of the platform, I opened my arms to welcome Xiaoyu: "Xiaoyu, don't think about anything!
Look at me! Jump!"

Xiaoyu leaped out of the carriage and pounced into my arms. We fell to the ground, rolling and rolling,
doing more than ten tumbles before finally stopping at the edge of the platform.

I lay on the edge of the platform holding Xiaoyu, and she lay on top of me, holding me back. The surrounding scenery spun around us
, the world suddenly seemed so vast, the whole world revolving around us, boundless and
limitless .

Before we could even calm down, ignoring our injuries, Xiaoyu and I kissed passionately on the platform.

A commotion arose around the platform; some gasped, some cursed us for our indecent behavior, a few
clapped and cheered, but most stared in stunned silence.

If they knew we were father and daughter, I wonder what they would think?

The onlookers were chattering and making a racket, so Xiaoyu and I stopped kissing and stood up. I grabbed
Xiaoyu and ran. The crowd we pushed through shouted insults:

"What kind of despicable couple are these?" "Kissing in broad daylight in the street, they're like mothers who have no fathers
!" "An old man and a young girl, what kind of relationship do they have?"

All sorts of vile insults rose and fell, but amidst the curses, I heard someone say with a
blessing:

"You've got guts! Go for it!"

As we got away from the crowd, the last sentence drifted into our ears:

"They're a perfect match!"

I turned around and smiled at Xiaoyu. I pulled Xiaoyu along, and she was pulled
along , just like when we met during the student demonstration yesterday. This feeling was sweet. The whole view
was so clear, the world was so vast, seemingly infinitely far away, yet within reach. We
were like a pair of notorious thieves, wanted by the world. I took her with me, we wandered the desolate lands, adrift in the wind, escaping this
absurd world, running to the ends of the earth to spend the rest of our lives together.
[The End]
After Xiaoyu gave up on returning to Liaoning, I wrote a letter to the Huo family explaining the situation and apologizing, stating that Xiaoyu would
go back to her biological father. Afterwards, Xiaoyu and I wandered the world, making our home wherever we could, to avoid being found by the Huo family.

Not long after, the national regime changed, and large numbers of refugees fled to Hong Kong, Taiwan, Macau, and
other Southeast Asian countries for refuge. Taking advantage of this opportunity, I took Xiaoyu to Hong Kong, the place where I had studied in my youth.
Xiaoyu and I became Hong Kong citizens as refugees. Xiaoyu, who had simply registered her citizenship, had no legal
connection to me. We officially registered our marriage in Hong Kong, becoming a legal couple. I never dreamed that Xiaoyu and I,
father and daughter, could legally register as husband and wife, settling down in Hong Kong where no one knew us. My
life of wandering came to an end at this moment.

The following year, Xiaoyu became pregnant. The night before she gave birth, I saw Xiaoxue in my dream. She appeared in my dream for the first time under
the bright sunlight, and in the dream, Xiaoxue smiled happily at me. The next day, Xiaoyu gave birth to a daughter,
whom I named Fang Xiaoxue.

This was the last time I saw Xiaoxue. After that, Xiaoxue never appeared in my dreams again.
[A Lifetime of Love. The End.]

[Appendix]

Snow Still Falling

On the train back to Beijing, I remained silent, silently perplexed by the purpose of this trip.

I hadn't originally planned to return to my ancestral home in Beiping. After finishing my business in Tianjin, for some reason, instead of
heading back to Guangzhou, I transferred to Beiping, which I had left more than ten years ago. Why did I do this? I couldn't even figure
it out myself.

However, when I got off at the East Station and saw the long corridor lined with locust trees and old wisteria,
a feeling of "home" suddenly welled up in my heart. Even though there were only ten days left until the winter solstice, and frost and snow were already falling, with a biting cold,
this scene still made my swollen clothes feel warm.

But what did that feeling of "home" really mean to me? Since my father passed away, we've
been all alone! I'm middle-aged now, without parents, without siblings, without a family, without a wife and
children. I wander around the country day after day. "Home" and "ancestral home" are truly
irrelevant to me now.

"Blood ties"? Thinking of this, I couldn't help but feel ashamed. When my father passed away, I, the unfilial son
, was away and couldn't get away. My uncle from the south city came to take care of the funeral arrangements.
I never felt the slightest bit of guilt for not being able to fulfill my filial duty because of work. So it wouldn't be fair to
say ties. Rather than insisting it's about family affection, it's more accurate to say it's about missing Xiaoxue. Aside from her, I have
no other attachment to Beiping.

"Yusheng, why are you back so late? Master is furious! Quickly change your clothes and come to the inner courtyard for dinner!"

For many years I hadn't thought of Xiaoxue, but now, suddenly, the warm
gaze reappeared in my mind. Her every smile, her innocent eyes, her purity, her straightforwardness—
all these unexpectedly flooded my mind again. Finally, the thought of her current whereabouts brought another pang of heartache.

My thoughts began to swirl. At that moment, the rickshaw had reached Jizhao Hutong. I saw the gate of my old house, and vaguely saw the figure of
a . Time seemed to flow backward; Xiaoxue was standing at the gate of our ancestral home, waiting for me to return!

I thought I was starting to lose my mind, but as the scenery gradually became clearer, the faint figure remained. It wasn't
a hallucination, nor a memory. My heart started pounding, and my whole body tensed. Xiaoxue, could it really be
you?

Reaching the gate, my tense emotions calmed down a bit, but a sense of loss followed. The woman in front of me wasn't welcoming me
home; she was just sweeping snow at the gatehouse. She was no more than twenty years old, pretty and charming, completely
different .

"Who are you? Do you know this is the Fang family mansion?" My mind had barely settled when, before I could even ask who she was,
she was already speaking rudely to me.

"Then... then who are you? I don't know you. This... where is Uncle Huai, the steward?" Faced with
the girl's rudeness, I stammered, unable to answer.

"Oh! You know Uncle Huai? You are..."

"I am Fang Yusheng, Fang Yusheng of the Fang family!" Returning to my ancestral home felt like being interrogated, and I couldn't help but feel angry
.

Upon hearing my name, the girl was momentarily speechless, like a dazed fool. Yet,
a subtle change flashed in her eyes, a change so fleeting I couldn't decipher its meaning.

Seeing her lower her head, unable to answer, I asked again, "What's your relationship to Uncle Huai? Where is Uncle Huai?"

"I...I...I'm Uncle Huai's...distant relative. He went back to his hometown on business, so I'm temporarily managing things here for him."
The girl blushed, her head lowered, her eyes flickering uncertainly. She was a silly girl after all! Only then did I take a good
look at her. The girl wore a braid, her eyes were like dark ink dots, her lips like ripe peaches, and
her features were delicate yet tinged with melancholy. Her carefree demeanor resembled a forest elf with two transparent wings, fallen to earth, from Western mythology.
This feeling seemed familiar, yet I couldn't place where I'd seen it before. Her skin was fair and
delicate , unlike a working girl; she seemed more like a city girl.

“I…I’m so sorry, Mr. Fang. I didn’t know you would come here. Uncle Huai…I heard that you haven’t
been back for more than ten years, so…”

“It’s alright. Hey! What’s your name?”

“I…my name is…Fang…” The little girl was unusually hesitant.

“Fang? Your name is Fang?”

“Yes…just call me Xiao Fang!…Come on! Let me get your luggage for you, sir.”

“No need, I can do it myself.”

It was already dark when I got back to my hometown. After settling my belongings in the room, I felt extremely tired and
fell asleep .

“Sir?” Xiao Fang’s voice came from outside the room.

"Xiao Fang? What is it?"

"It's late. I've prepared hot water. Sir, you can go take a bath now."

"Oh? I don't want to bathe yet. You don't need to serve me. Wash up first and then rest!"

"Then...then I won't disturb you, sir."

After Xiao Fang left, I suddenly couldn't sleep at all. I lay on the bed I hadn't slept on for over ten years,
staring blankly at the late winter night sky outside the window. The bright moon was the same as it had been years ago, but everything had changed. I was now
over forty , no longer the young man I once was...

"Yu Sheng, we're about the same age. Don't call me sister-in-law, call me Xiao Xue. We're all young people..."

Xiao Xue, I was twenty-seven when I left here, and you were thirty. Soon after, you returned to your maternal home. Now
we're forty-five! If you really came back, would you still recognize me?

Thinking about it made it even harder to fall asleep. Bored, I got up and went for a walk in the outer courtyard. When I got to the pavilion, the two jujube trees
were still there. Whether it was still the same two vines from years ago was unknown, but together with the grape trellis next door, they still
looked quite charming. I reminisced about the past, cherishing the various furnishings of my home, and leisurely lifted the curtain to enter the inner courtyard .
As I walked through the corridor, I heard the sound of watering coming from the next room. I couldn't help but peek through the crack in the door, and
there, a graceful, naked body, was bathing. I was stunned. It was Xiao Fang! She

looked to be about fifteen or sixteen years old. When we met at the gate this morning, her bright yet melancholic appearance
had already given me an inexplicable fondness. Now, seeing her snow-white naked body, I felt an irresistible attraction.
Gravity. Her fair, delicate skin accentuated her small, perky breasts; her slender waist and shapely legs framed
an unsightly buttocks—a beautiful virgin's body. Peeping at a young girl bathing was immoral, but this was
n't my first time. Only now did I recall that twenty years ago, this act was my only source of amusement.

Because my mother died early, Xiaoxue was the only woman in our family. Due to the traditional preference for sons
, Xiaoxue always served us all first, only bathing at night. Every night, in the quiet of the night
, I couldn't resist the allure of the dripping water and would sneak into the bathroom's atrium to peep at Xiaoxue! Each time, I
would tell myself it was the last time, but the following night I couldn't resist the allure of Xiaoxue's body—those
full breasts, that hidden, mysterious tuft of green grass—representing all my
youthful desires .

Even normally, my gaze lingers on Xiaoxue's figure, let alone when she's naked
? Even though she's my sister-in-law.

"Yusheng, can you stop staring at me like that? People will misunderstand!"

Misunderstand? I don't care about people's misunderstandings! And you knew from the start that this wasn't a misunderstanding! You
must , because to me, your words were an implication! Even knowing that doing this would hurt you, if
fate gave me another chance, I believe the outcome would still be the same! Even if the ending is eternal damnation!

My thoughts lingered between the temptations of the past and the present. Suddenly, the woman in front of me turned her back and bent over. I saw
water droplets hanging from her body, sliding down the beautiful contours of her breasts, outlining their alluring lines, then gathering at the nipples, finally dripping down, the sound of the water droplets hitting the ground resonating powerfully
within me . What stunned me even more was that her raised, virgin vulva was directly facing me. The paradise I'd always dreamed The damp grass parted smoothly on both sides, the clear entrance slightly ajar, the bright red, wet peach-like opening reigniting my desire for Xiaoxue that had been dormant for over a decade. I couldn't tell if it was Xiaofang or Xiaoxue before me; I only felt my blood rushing and my heart pounding violently. When I uncontrollably took a step forward, she seemed to sense something! "What? Who's there?" Xiaoxue asked, turning around. "What? Who's there?" Xiaofang asked, turning around. I suddenly woke up, rushed back to my room, and wrapped myself tightly in the thick quilt, my heart pounding for a long time . "Xiaoxue, this is the last time!" The next morning, Xiaofang seemed normal, and I, of course, acted as if nothing had happened, not mentioning my humiliation the previous night. Putting aside my worries, I went to pay my respects at my father's and brother's graves early in the morning. Xiao Fang came with me, saying she should do the heavy work like weeding. Arriving at Guangyi Garden in Miaoguang Pavilion, I burned the paper money and clothing I bought from the Nan Paper Shop for my father and brother. Father! I'm sorry! Your son is unfilial! All these years, I haven't even lit a single stick of incense at your grave. I haven't preserved the family business, nor have I had any descendants to leave a trace for the Fang family. But I really can't stay here. I can't face everything that happened here before. I have no choice, Father, please forgive me. Thinking about this, a wave of sorrow washed over me, and my nose began to sob. I looked up at the sky, took a deep breath myself, stretched casually, and looked around. Suddenly, my eyes widened, my pupils dilated, and my blood seemed to freeze instantly. Unable to believe what I was seeing, I walked with trembling steps towards a tombstone not far from me . It read—"Tomb of Xiao Xue of the Fang Family, Huo Clan!" "Yusheng, I am Xue, you are Yu, our names match well! But don't misunderstand, I only mean our names!" " Yusheng, actually, your brother and I don't match at all. He never knows what I'm thinking, and he never asks!" "Do you like little girls? If I have a daughter in the future, can I name her Xiaoyu?" " Is it unique for a woman to like reading Rousseau's works? I don't think so. I'm just an ordinary woman! Also, I'm your sister-in-law..." " Yusheng, if you do this again, I'll tell your brother!" " Yusheng, you can't think like that anymore! Do you understand? We have no future!" " Yusheng, Yusheng..." "Yusheng..." Little...Little Xue, so you no longer exist in this world! Why did you have to die? Why did you die? Why were you so heartless to leave me behind? It turns out that all along, I've been alone in this boring world, living a boring life! The world was vast and desolate. Since the snow had melted away, why should the rain remain in the world? "Sir? Sir..." I don't know how long it had been, but Xiao Fang's calls brought me back to reality. Only then did I realize that I was in the main house of my ancestral home. The setting sun cast long shadows outside, and it was already dusk. From this morning until now, apart from remembering that I had cried bitterly at Xiao Xue's grave, I couldn't remember what I had done with her, how I had returned, or anything that had happened until the evening . "Sir, how are you?" Xiao Fang was beside me, her face also showing grief. "I'm alright now." She probably brought me home in my momentary daze. But she didn't say, and I didn't want to ask. "Yes, sir, who was the woman in that grave this morning..." Xiao Fang asked me tentatively. "Her?... She... is my sister-in-law." "Sister-in-law? But you seemed very sad just now." "Yes! I was really sad! Because... she was the woman I loved most in my life!" "What? Then... but..." She hesitated. “But she’s my sister-in-law! Even though I shouldn’t, I love her! I still love her to this day!” “This…this…sir, could you tell Xiaofang about your past with her?” She toyed with her long braid, asking somewhat awkwardly. The curious girl’s words were irresistible. I felt a wave of dizziness; the scene before me gradually turned hazy , the room seemed distorted, then stretched endlessly, finally becoming a winding passage leading to the other side of time… Twenty years ago, in that cold winter, Huo Xiaoxue, true to her name, entered the Fang family’s gate, draped in snow, becoming her brother’s wife. She came from a scholarly family in Shenyang, educated in modern ways, beautiful and refined, yet still possessing the grace of a young lady.

Her elegance. My brother met Xiaoxue by chance while doing business in the area. He was captivated by her beauty and pursued
her relentlessly for many years before finally winning her heart and leading to their marriage.

I, three years younger than her, watched this ethereal woman with her graceful eyebrows enter our home. My impulsive and fragile
young heart was deeply shaken. She was like a winged fairy from the mortal world,
completely different from the traditional and superficial worldly girls I had known before.

"Yusheng, your brother is often away on business, and I'm so lonely. Can you keep me company? Oh
, and we're about the same age, so don't call me sister-in-law anymore. Call me Xiaoxue. We're both young people..."

She wanted me to call her Xiaoxue! Besides my brother, I was the only one I could call her by her name!
When my brother was away, I was inseparable from her. Just seeing her graceful figure by my side every day made me
happy . When my brother was home, it felt like an eternity.

"Yusheng, actually, your brother and I aren't a good match. He never knows what I'm thinking, and he
never asks. I know he treats me very well, but... but I don't need that..."

One melancholic late autumn, she gazed at the distant red sunset in the pavilion and confided in me softly. Her brother was just
a vulgar merchant, ten years older than her; he was simply not suitable for her! He was utterly unworthy of her! She was dissatisfied,
she was hinting at it to me! At this moment, she had feelings for me! I knew!

"Yusheng, I am Xue (Snow), you are Yu
(

Rain), our names match perfectly! But don't misunderstand, I only mean our names!" I am Yu, she is Xue, we are a match made in heaven! I understand! I understand what she means! I
know what to do!

"If you do this again, I will tell your brother! Yusheng, I am your sister-in-law
!"

That time, she slapped me hard! She was making her stance clear, telling me she was a
traditional, law-abiding woman, but she didn't indicate that she didn't love me! She didn't say she didn't love me!

And I, absolutely not a man of propriety, on a spring evening when it was just the two of us at home, I
, slightly drunk, forced my way into Xiaoxue's room, pinned her down on the bed, and frantically kissed her lips, her
earlobes, her neck! Xiaoxue cried and screamed, hitting me, cursing me, but nothing could stop my
violation .

Tearing open her peach-colored blouse, a pair of glistening, snow-white breasts were right in front of me. The beautiful flesh before me was the hope I
had yearned for for years, the hope that had never been mine. I buried my head in her breasts seeking solace, then frantically sucked on
those two rosy nipples.

"No! Yusheng, don't do this! I'm your sister-in-law! Ah!" Xiaoxue had done wrong,
but the words "sister-in-law" only amplified the stimulation in my ears! All the unconventional words had now transformed into boundless
power. I wanted to have sex with my sister-in-law! I wanted to defy that damned morality! I wanted to defy fate!

When Xiaoxue and I became one, her cries were indistinguishable from sobs or moans, yet she was
embracing me tightly! Her legs were wrapped tightly around my waist, and I
released myself inside her in this wild, chaotic climax! I wanted to bury a part of my body deep within Xiaoxue's heart, to
imprint my mark on her body and soul, to make her my woman, to make her belong to me for all eternity!

"Yusheng! What are you doing, you beast? She's your sister-in-law! Are you even human? I'll beat you to death, you
inhuman beast..."

When the truth came out, my brother beat me mercilessly, hurling insults at me relentlessly. But I didn't resist, nor did I
defend myself. I didn't regret anything I did; it was just that seeing Xiaoxue standing there, tears streaming down her face, broke my
heart ! Xiaoxue, I'm sorry! But this was necessary; otherwise, as you said, we would have no future.

"Stop! Fengyang, don't hit him anymore! No... he didn't force me!"

When I was beaten to the point of near death, she, who had remained silent throughout the incident, suddenly stepped forward to stop her husband.
Xiaoxue was speaking up for me! I didn't know if she was sincere or just trying to save me; at that moment, I felt only silent gratitude and a secret
joy. Xiaoxue had finally taken the first step for me! If we could just overcome this obstacle and take this step, a bright future
would lie ahead. But I never imagined that what seemed like the beginning of hope would turn into an irreversible end.

Regarding my brother's suicide, my father only said one last thing to me: "Go! I never
want to see you again in this life!"

The suddenness of events, the cruel manipulation of fate, was unbearable and unacceptable. I was just
pursuing my own happiness! What was wrong with that? Why did my brother have to die? Why did my father no longer acknowledge me as his son? And
why did Xiaoxue return to her hometown in Shenyang? Why wouldn't she see me again? It wasn't until many years later,

after countless changes in the world and life experiences, that I understood everything and realized the mistakes and sins I had committed. My father had just passed away, and Xiaoxue's family had vanished without a trace. Even with repentance, I couldn't make amends for the people I had hurt. I always thought that one day I would meet Xiaoxue again, that I would make amends to her, that I would ask for her forgiveness, and that she would resolve the unresolved question of whether she had ever loved me. But until today, when I learned that she was no longer alive, that Xiaoxue and I were already separated by death… In the early hours of the morning, the clock ticked relentlessly, but it couldn't drown out the howling wind and snow outside. The past was hazy, but old feelings lingered. After reminiscing, Xiaofang and I sat silently, unable to utter a single word. "Sir, do you still think of Xiaoxue?" After what seemed like an eternity, Xiaofang finally broke the silence. The heaviness in her eyes was no less than mine. "Of course I miss her! Even now, she's still in my heart, an indelible mark on my life, an indelible mark on my destiny. I can't let go of the past, I can't start over. How can you expect me not to think of her?" "But last night..." Xiao Fang's suspicious gaze suddenly swept over me sharply. I froze. Last night I was peeping at her while she showered, and she knew all along! "Xiao Xue couldn't bear the burdens of life, the weight of societal authority and morality, to complete her so-called journey. She died because of you, and yet you think about women every day! What have you actually done for Xiao Xue?" Xiao Fang's face flushed red as she spoke softly, followed by a sigh. I'm a forty-five-year-old middle-aged man. These past years, I've been wandering the world, struggling to make a living, living a lonely and aimless life, constantly on the move. Of course I've had bed partners everywhere, but I would never admit it outside of brothels. Yet, at this moment, the young woman before me saw right through me.

I was overwhelmed with shame. Yes! I ruined Xiaoxue's life, but over the years I've been intimate with countless women. I
say I regret it, but what have I done for Xiaoxue? What have I done for the people I've hurt?

"Last...last night I'm so sorry! It's just...last night you reminded me of Xiaoxue, your back view was...like hers!"
Only then did I remember the fairy-like feeling Xiaofang gave me, exactly the same feeling Xiaoxue gave me back then!

Xiaofang trembled slightly when she heard my words, then stared blankly at me. Her eyes
showed the same subtle change that had appeared at the gate yesterday, but at this moment, I had no heart to care.

Feeling utterly ashamed, I silently left the main house, went into the inner courtyard, picked up the old wine my father had always treasured, and drank it.
I didn't know what else to do! I couldn't face myself! I couldn't face Xiaoxue who died for me! I

don't know how much strong liquor I had drunk, but I began to feel dizzy, and the scenery around me began to sway. Just then, the door
creaked open, and a woman in a pink nightgown appeared before me. I remembered—it was Xiaoxue's nightgown from back then!

"Xiao...Xiaofang? What are you doing?" My eyesight was failing me.

"I just want you to know that I truly loved you back then!" she said calmly.

The wind and snow outside howled incessantly, the wind lashing against the paper windows with a muffled, almost piercing sound, as if it were about to tear them apart.
Time seemed to stand still between those moments. I could no longer contain my excitement and rushed forward to embrace her,
kissing her passionately!

"Xiaoxue! Forgive me! I beg you! Forgive me!"

I slipped my tongue into her mouth and licked her lips. She flinched slightly at first, then closed her eyes, enjoying the teasing stimulation of my
tongue . As I felt her body begin to tremble and go limp, I carried her to my room, placed her on the bed, and
removed her peach-colored nightgown. I then re-examined her long-missed body: her tongue, earlobes, neck, shoulders, armpits
, breasts, and finally her nipples. I sealed them with a deep, passionate kiss. By then, her body was weak and limp, she moaned softly, and
her vagina was overflowing with desire. Like a little girl who knew nothing, she closed her eyes tightly,
gently caressing me with her trembling hands.

I pressed myself against her, aimed my penis at her clitoris, and slowly inserted the head. Although she seemed to be in great pain,
constantly crying out and whimpering, she opened her alluring eyes, gazing at me with tender affection, embracing me, her legs wrapped
tightly around my waist, letting me thrust wildly. My consciousness was hazy, my state frenzied, constantly turning her over and over, using
different positions to make love to her. Years of agonizing pain were released in this moment. I wanted to
be one with Xiaoxue forever, never to be separated again in this life!

"Xiaoxue! I love you! Xiaoxue! Don't leave me again!..."

She hugged me tightly, kissing me passionately. We thrust and responded to each other,
finally reaching a blissful climax. More than ten years of pent-up emotions were released uncontrollably inside her
, my body seemingly drained of all fluid, wave after wave pouring
into her womb until the last drop of semen was squeezed out. After pouring all my passion and desire into her, I felt utterly
exhausted, and we drifted off to sleep in each other's arms.

When I opened my eyes to the morning sun, I found myself naked in bed!
Xiaofang was no longer beside me. Besides my clothes, a set of peach-colored pajamas lay on the bedside.
As my mind cleared, I recalled the warm and beautiful moments of the previous night, and I was filled with regret! Why would Xiaofang do this?

I dressed and searched the entire house, but Xiaofang was nowhere to be found. I began to sense something was amiss
. Where had she gone? How did she know Xiaoxue's clothes? How did she know Xiaoxue's feelings? Who exactly is she
?

I searched every street and alley in the city, but still couldn't find Xiao Fang. Finally, I came to Uncle Huai's old residence, hoping she was
there . But instead of Xiao Fang, I saw Uncle Huai!

"Ah! Second Young Master! Is it really Second Young Master? You've finally returned!"

"Uncle Huai! Didn't you go back to your hometown on business?"

"Who said I went back to my hometown? Miss Fang is here. She comes back every year on the anniversary of the death of Master and Eldest Mistress. She wants to
live alone in the main house, so I'm going back to my old residence for a while."

"Miss Fang? Which Miss Fang?"

"It's your relative, Miss Fang! Don't you see her? She's in the main house!"

"I don't have any relatives called Miss Fang!"

"How could you not? She said she's your cousin! That year, she brought Eldest Mistress back for her burial!
How could she not be your relative?"

"Uncle Huai, that Miss Fang... you don't mean Xiao Fang, do you?"

"Xiao Fang? No! Her name isn't Xiao Fang! Her surname is just Fang. I remember, she said her name was –
Fang Xiao Yu!"

My forehead felt like it had been hit hard, and my body felt like it had fallen into a dark abyss. A
face , a name I couldn't forget, they belonged to the same person, and I couldn't recognize her even though we met. Xiaoyu
, you are Xiaoxue's messenger sent from heaven, bringing me an answer I've waited for over twenty years,
untying the knot in my heart. You actually knew about Xiaoxue and me all along; you were always testing my
feelings for her. But why were you so foolish? To sacrifice yourself for someone condemned to hell, never to be reborn!
To give ! I hurt Xiaoxue back then, and now I've hurt Xiaoyu, once again burdening me with irreparable sin. Even
knowing Xiaoxue's feelings back then, what does it matter?

Now I'm on the train returning south, watching the snow falling, overwhelmed with emotion. It turns out people don't truly die
! They just change slightly in the next generation. Xiaoxue, you vanished from this world, yet another version
of you has unknowingly entered my dreams again. But no matter how hard I try, I can't find Xiaoyu,
and I have a vague feeling that we will never meet again in this life. Xiaoyu, I have no more requests. I only hope that wherever you are, in
the east, west, south, or north, may the falling snow bring me your message, letting me know that you
are still well in some corner of this world. Xiaoxue, may your spirit in heaven, like the falling snowflakes, protect Xiaoyu, bless
her, and make her happy forever.

"Yusheng, I am snow, you are rain. If I have a daughter in the future, may I call her Xiaoyu?"
[The End]

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A love that shook half a lifetime

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