[Repost] A message for friends who cannot accept or persuade their partner to accept a swap.

page views:1 Publication date:2013-02-03

Speaking for myself, I initially got into this out of curiosity. After learning more and reading many posts from other people, I found it very exciting (maybe it's human nature). I also saw how satisfying and enjoyable it seemed for people who had tried swapping or doing it in groups. Gradually, I started to want to try it myself. However, my first thought was to ask my husband's opinion. (It's funny, most of my friends' husbands couldn't convince their wives, but I was the one who accepted the idea first :-) I don't know if my husband has heard of ****** (likely referring to a specific type of online activity). I think he probably does; men often browse those kinds of websites, so he's definitely heard of it. But whether he can accept it, I can't say for sure. Maybe he can, maybe he can't. Because he's not home, he's out of town, so I can't make up my mind right now. And I've been conflicted these past few days. It's true that truly opening up to this new generation's thinking requires letting go of some things; there will be pressure. It's easier said than done. Although society is more open now, most people only accept or understand men having affairs because it's so common. Masturbation, on the other hand, has only recently become popular, and it may take a long time for everyone to accept it. No one knows what the future holds; perhaps with changing times, masturbation will eventually become widespread. Furthermore, women are deeply influenced by traditional ideas, such as the importance of chastity, which they are taught from a young age. Changing these ideas overnight is difficult for traditional, conservative women and requires a process. So, friends, if you can't convince your partner, please don't rush things.
Actually, I'm still conflicted myself. There are many contradictions. First, I'm afraid of not finding a suitable partner. If I find someone unsafe or with ill intentions, the consequences could be terrible. Second, what if I become addicted after doing it? I don't know what others think, but personally, I think it might be very tempting, although I haven't tried it yet. If I become addicted, it's hard to control, and it's not good either; at the very least, doing it too much is bad for my health. The main concerns are these two things, though there are many other reasons as well.
When it comes to actually doing it, there are many, many things to consider. Communication between husband and wife is crucial. If one partner cannot accept it, it's best to stop thinking about it and try again after reaching a consensus. Otherwise, the more you want it but can't do it, the more you'll want it. This might lead to the partner who is willing to accept it secretly trying something exciting with someone else. If that happens, it's bad; in my opinion, that's betrayal. So, I also advise my female friends to be more open-minded about some things. In today's society, many men have affairs. Rather than letting him secretly cheat on you, it's better to be open about it. Perhaps it's hard to accept at first. Before I saw so many posts about real-life sex swapping, I thought I could never accept such a thing, but after reading them, I've come to terms with it. Actually, it makes sense. If you're unwilling to have sex with a stranger, then if you hadn't married your current husband, wouldn't he also be a stranger? Of course, I'm only saying this to comfort women whose husbands want to try but can't get them to change their minds. I'm not saying everyone should accept this idea, but just to comfort women who can't control their husbands and are suffering because they're stuck in a rut. The realities of society won't change because of our insistence or adherence to traditional wifely virtues. Men can enjoy themselves, and so can we women. Men and women are equal. (This is purely my personal opinion, just to comfort people. Don't think I'm being inappropriate; I'm just stating the facts.) I think the most basic thing between husband and wife is honesty. If my husband really doesn't accept this idea, then I won't do anything behind his back. If these things damage our relationship and life, that's not good. This is probably a principle of being a decent person. Some things can't be forced.
Now let's talk about how to persuade him. This can't be rushed; it needs to be done slowly. If a man suddenly says to a woman, "Wife, you're playing games too much now, let's switch," I think anyone would be shocked and think that's a twisted idea. There needs to be a process of understanding. You could casually mention to your wife that you've heard about the current trend of online pornography, and see how she reacts. If she's strongly opposed, don't rush things; wait a bit longer. Then, occasionally and subtly reintroduce this idea to her. The approach depends on your wife's personality and attitude, so adjust your approach accordingly. I haven't experienced this myself; these are just my thoughts based on my own observations and forum posts. If your wife is willing to go online, let her browse relevant forums and learn from others' experiences. When the time is right, after you've had sex, while she's still recovering from her orgasm, you could tentatively suggest, "How about I find you a single man sometime so you can enjoy yourself a little longer?" See how she reacts. She might pretend to be angry, in which case you can tease her a bit more to gauge her reaction. If she's genuinely angry, then stop. Then you can say some sweet nothings to your wife, like: "Honey, I love you. I want to... or something else just to add some passion to our lives. It doesn't mean I don't love you or hate you. There are many people like that nowadays. We can try it occasionally. If you feel it's inappropriate, I won't force you. Of course, I won't do anything behind your back. I just want to ask for your opinion and what you think." Of course, you have to be sincere when you say these things.
However, if you really want to try it, and your wife also wants to try it, I think you should first shut her up by finding a single man so your wife can be happy. That way, after one time, she might not say anything anymore. Once a woman has experienced it, she won't care so much anymore and will be more open-minded. I think I'm like that. Most women are probably like that too. Just like how virgins are very conservative and can resist temptation before, but become unable to resist temptation afterward. Some people's physiological instincts kick in, and sometimes they may not be able to refuse what is about to happen. That's also an option. Some people might be introverted and shy, in which case they could try this method first. Having two women involved would prevent them from feeling embarrassed or awkward. It depends on the individual; everyone is different. You can only try it based on your understanding of your wives.
The above is purely my personal opinion. Everyone has their own thoughts; some people can accept it, some can't. If someone can't accept it, you can't force them. You can only let things take their natural course. Friends, you can use this to slowly test your partner and gradually persuade them. I hope my opinion can help you and have some effect. ******It is absolutely essential that both husband and wife agree before trying this! And the premise is that this won't harm your relationship or life, and that it won't cause conflicts or arguments afterward. If you can't do that, don't try it; it will backfire. Also, I think it's best not to do this too often within a year. Too much of it might harm your health; you need to be moderate.

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[Repost] A message for friends who cannot accept or persuade their partner to accept a swap.

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