Reposting lalad's article: How to persuade your wife to share her opinions

page views:1 Publication date:2013-05-15

This article offers valuable insights and advice. Thanks to Lala for sharing
her thoughts on how to persuade one's wife.
Having been here for a while and successfully persuading her a few times, I've noticed many friends who, six months ago, still hadn't succeeded in winning over their wives, or haven't found a suitable partner.
My analysis suggests several reasons: 1. The man isn't proactive enough, hesitant, and lacks strong feelings; he's just taking a chance, hoping to be single and get some advantage. 2. He genuinely can't win over his wife; she hasn't found anyone suitable, and there are too many scammers. 3. During sex, he gets excited and has the idea, impulsively registers on various websites, then forgets about it later. He doesn't really think about it; he's just observing, chatting, watching videos, and experiencing the excitement. 4. Both partners have feelings, but neither actively seeks them out, hesitant and indecisive. The wife agrees one minute and disagrees the next; they only think, but don't act.
I mainly want to discuss the fourth point: how can you start if you only think and don't act? Without starting, how can you succeed?
My experience is that the man must take the initiative. In these situations, the woman won't take the initiative, and the likelihood of her doing so is slim. She can't just say it directly, and the man will inevitably have his own thoughts. Generally speaking, if the man makes the request, discusses it with the woman, and she doesn't strongly object or resist, there's a good chance. Women, even if they want it, won't admit it or take the initiative. They might clearly want it but say no. In reality, the woman also has thoughts and needs, she just won't admit it. It's normal for a woman to have fears or feel embarrassed; the key is for the man to take action. If the man only thinks about it without trying, it hasn't even begun. Trying is crucial. If the man hesitates, afraid of this and that, it won't start. It should be done gradually, preferably starting with a threesome rather than swapping. A threesome is mainly for your wife, letting her experience the stimulation first, making her comfortable before thinking about the future. If you swap, you have to take care of both wives, inevitably neglecting your own. Therefore, a threesome is better for the first time.
The method is as follows: First, find a suitable partner, someone you feel comfortable with. Don't have too high expectations; the key is that she's obedient and knows the rules. Discuss beforehand what's acceptable and what's absolutely unacceptable. If it doesn't work out, give up immediately and try again later. Look for someone talkative and humorous; even if there are problems, a few words can resolve them, preventing any lingering issues.
Women generally won't take the initiative, so the man needs to create opportunities. Meet up, have dinner, watch a movie, sing karaoke, etc., to get to know each other. If the woman expresses opposition and firmly refuses during the first meeting, give up immediately and find another partner. The most crucial thing at the beginning is that she doesn't explicitly express dislike; if so, there's potential. After the meeting, if you have dinner, it's best to have a little alcohol—not too much, depending on your wife's tolerance, about 60-70% is enough to create a pleasant atmosphere. Then, try to create a favorable environment, a private space, as this provides a platform for development. For example, rent a hotel room, go to someone's home, or go to karaoke—these are relatively private and quiet environments. The three of you can chat, play cards, and if the loser takes off their clothes, talk about slightly erotic topics, and gradually guide the conversation. Once you feel the foreplay is done, don't dawdle. In this private room, the single man can try to subtly touch or caress her. If the woman doesn't completely object, you're close to success. The husband can be a little more casual at this point. In front of him, he can kiss his wife, or reach in and touch her breasts, letting her experience the stimulation. The husband should be proactive; it's normal for the wife to blush and feel embarrassed, just relax. It's best to turn off the TV and put her phone aside to avoid external distractions. The single man should also be proactive. He can go take a shower, allowing the couple to build chemistry. The husband should persuade his wife to shower, reassuring her not to be afraid, asking if it's exciting, and suggesting that if she doesn't like it, they can make love instead. With the single man watching, persuading his wife to shower means you're 90% successful. The single man finishes showering, wraps himself in a towel, and comes out while his wife goes to shower. During this time, the single man and his wife discuss the details and communicate. After the wife finishes showering, the husband goes to shower, giving them some alone time. It's up to the single man's skill to decide what to do. While showering, the husband should pay attention: if things have already started, he can shower slowly and observe how things develop; if they haven't started yet, he should finish quickly and come out to break the awkward silence. Usually, there are only two towels in the room. When the husband comes out, he can be naked. He should start caressing his wife, trying to lift the blanket a little so the single man can see and feel the stimulation. The single man can also touch her, gradually getting into the mood. The movements should be slow and deliberate. The single man should put in some effort, doing plenty of foreplay to fully arouse his wife's desire. After that, things will naturally progress. Master the atmosphere, making the process both tense and exciting yet relaxed and enjoyable. If your wife strongly objects—and I mean strongly objects, not just saying "no" or "not good"—stop immediately. Women usually lie at this point; they certainly won't directly say things like "It feels so good!" or "Come on!" If she's truly strongly opposed and angry, then stop immediately to avoid leaving a negative impression.
To summarize a few points, this is just my own successful experience; the actual process is much simpler. You should know that wives often have similar thoughts, but they lack the right opportunity and can't be too proactive. Women are generally quite reserved. The key is how the man acts. If the man genuinely wants to engage in a threesome or swapping, and the wife doesn't object, he can completely control the process. Generally, the wife won't explicitly agree or say "okay." Once you can meet a single man, you're basically set. Swapping partners are hard to find, but single men are plentiful. Don't have the mindset of being taken advantage of; prioritize satisfying your wife first. Once the threesome is secured, swapping yourself won't be a big problem. If the other person is suitable, you can proceed.
The man must be proactive, lead the process, and plan and consider all the details. Your wife knows what she's thinking, and you need to consider her feelings. Communicate more, and it's easier for her to accept suggestions during sex. If she doesn't object, that's enough; you don't need to wait for explicit consent. For many women, you'll never see that day. Even if she really wants it, she won't say it. If she doesn't object, you can start immediately. Don't drag it out. Arrange a video call or a meeting as soon as possible. If your wife isn't overly averse to single men after the meeting, it's generally going to work out. Creating a private space is very important. Arrange a meal or shopping; otherwise, there's no opportunity for further development. In a private space, with the three of you, the husband should be proactive, and the single man should be cooperative. That's all. A pleasant first time opens up possibilities for future development. Plan according to your wife's personality, pay attention to details, and the husband should communicate more with both the single man and his wife to understand each other's thoughts before taking action.
My wife and I both dated single men the first time, and I've been a single man myself a few times, so I guess I have some experience. Actually, everyone thinks about these kinds of things. You think about it, but you're also afraid of any bad consequences. In reality, if you find a suitable single man and the time is right, you should act immediately. Hesitation will never get you started.
A few key points: 1. As long as your wife doesn't object, it's fine. You don't necessarily need to wait for explicit consent. Many women won't say it even if they agree. 2. Find a decent single man who seems sincere. Ideally, he should be experienced and cooperative. Tell him that the most important thing is cooperation, not his pleasure. It's not about his pleasure, but your wife's pleasure. Once your wife has had her pleasure the first time, she can rest and try again. Once she's relaxed, everything will be easier. Communicate well with the single man. 3. Your wife will be nervous, scared, and shy. The husband must cheer her up, comfort her, and encourage her. Tell her you're there for her and not to be afraid. Say something exciting and teasing. 4. Keep track of the pace and time. It will be too late and she'll be tired, so it won't be fun. 5. Atmosphere, atmosphere, atmosphere is very important. You can watch some porn or talk about sexual topics. It must be quiet and a private space to give your wife a sense of security. 6. If your wife firmly refuses, stop immediately. Don't force it, get angry, or say things that are pointless and will only make her resentful. 7. The first time is very nerve-wracking, exciting, and thrilling. Both men and women reach orgasm very quickly. You could say that a single man can just touch his wife and she will be very wet. Be prepared that the husband and single man might ejaculate before the wife has even had her fill, otherwise it won't be perfect.
That's all I can think of for now. My principle is to be brave enough to try. Whether you succeed or not, don't regret it; there's no going back. What society opposes isn't necessarily wrong; truth often lies in the hands of the minority. After my wife and I tried it, our sex life became more passionate, we argued less, and our relationship improved. We can talk about anything now, and during sex we discuss things like swapping and threesomes, which makes it even more exciting and stimulating. I don't think there's anything wrong with it; I think it's great. I
'll add more if I think of anything else. Writing this post wasn't easy; it took me over an hour.

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