Xiaoyu's sex story

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-23

Hello everyone, I'm an ordinary person, an ordinary man, but I've had extraordinary experiences with women. These are secrets I can't share with friends, so I write a diary online, recording my true experiences. These experiences are real, so they won't be as thrilling as those in erotic novels, but they are more real and vivid. Note 1: To protect the individuals involved, names and occupations have been altered. Note 2: This is a true story, and I have 　　obtained

permission from the moderator, Xiao Huan, to share my past here.

I didn't believe in fate, but now I'm gradually starting to believe. My name is Xiao Yu, I'm thirty years old, and although I've had three girlfriends, none of them lasted more than six months. However, I've had sexual relations with dozens of women! I've always longed to find true love, to date and marry a woman, and grow old together. But fate seems to have no affinity for love or marriage, yet I'm constantly surrounded by romantic encounters involving intimate physical contact.

Of the women I've had sexual relations with, three are my girlfriends, one is my cousin (not related by blood), and the others are long-term sexual partners, one-night stands, escorts, and prostitutes… The vast majority are Taiwanese, but there are also foreigners from mainland China, Vietnam, and the Philippines.

I'm of average appearance and build, with no career achievements, no wealth, and neither good looks nor substance. A man like me has almost no appeal to women, so I often worry about not being able to find a girlfriend.

However, I do possess an advantage that most men lack—gentleness and attentiveness. Therefore, in terms of sex, I possess an irresistible charm that women find hard to resist, making them crave my caresses again and again, much like an addiction to delicious food. [Second Diary Entry] Xiaoyu's Sex Diary: Peeping in the Bathroom

Every man has had the experience of peeping and sexual fantasies, and I was no exception. Most men's peeping targets are their mothers or sisters, but I came from a single-parent family and lived with my father. Therefore, my first peeping target was my cousin, who wasn't related to me by blood.

My aunt and uncle couldn't have children, so they adopted a daughter and a son, my cousin and cousin-in-law. I was twelve years old then, in sixth grade. My cousin was a year older than me, and my cousin-in-law was two years younger. They stayed at our house for a week during the Spring Festival, and my cousin and I enjoyed a week of eye candy.

Our house is an old apartment, and the vent below the bathroom door has an old-fashioned design. You can peek inside through the gaps in the slats, but the slats are angled downwards, so you can't see much. One day, I had a brilliant idea. I removed the vent and installed it upside down. I could lie on the floor and peek into the bathroom from below, getting a complete view of what was going on inside.

The first time my cousin took a shower at our house, I was extremely nervous. It was the first time in my life I had done something illegal, and the first time I had ever peeped. My heart was pounding so hard it felt like it was going to jump out of my mouth. My whole body was trembling with nervousness, and my hands and feet felt weak and powerless. I first lay on my back on the floor, and the cold tiles made my body tremble even more. My teeth chattered and made a faint sound.

As I lay down, I peeked through the vent slats and saw my older cousin undressing. Although she was only in the first year of junior high, she was much more developed than me, more than ten centimeters taller, and had very large breasts. At the time, I didn't know how to tell bra sizes, but I knew that when my cousin bent over to take off her underwear, her beautiful breasts hanging down made my blood boil and my lower body feel uncomfortable.

I was young then, ignorant about sex, and didn't know how to appreciate the beauty of a woman's body parts. I was only focused on peeking at her breasts. At that time, I thought that only a woman's breasts were beautiful, and other parts such as her buttocks, thighs, and vagina were not worth appreciating. I even foolishly thought that a woman's genitals were flat, unaware that a woman has a vagina and a uterus. Nearly twenty years ago, sex education courses in elementary and junior high schools were not well-developed. Female teachers would skip this chapter out of shyness and would not explain the male and female sexual organs in detail. Moreover, computers and the Internet were not widespread at that time. The only way to watch porn was through the Rainbow Channel on TV. The porn shown was also censored. Although I saw the male actor changing various positions and vigorously having sex with the female actor, I could not tell whether the woman's genitals had an opening. So I naively thought that men just used their penises to rub against the woman's flat genitals and did not know that the woman's genitals had an opening for penetration.

My cousin has a full, curvy figure, but she's not obese. I always thought she had big breasts, but I didn't expect her buttocks to be so pert when she was naked. I focused my gaze on her chest, but she always had her back to the bathroom door, so I rarely saw her nipples. However, this made me less nervous; I didn't have to worry about her noticing me peeping.

My cousin's voluptuous naked body made my penis painfully hard. As a sixth-grader, I was still quite innocent and had no experience with ejaculation, let alone how to masturbate. I just acted on instinct, rubbing my penis back and forth through my pants.

For three or four days in a row, I spied on my cousin taking a shower. Later, my two siblings and I got into an argument while playing games. I secretly pulled my brother aside and told him that we would get revenge on her by spying on her while she was showering that night. So I had another comrade to lie down and spy on her with, and he was only eleven years old. However, because he was too young, he couldn't control his nervousness. When he was talking to me about my cousin's figure, he accidentally raised his voice. My cousin, who was showering, turned around and saw that we two kids were spying on her. She was so angry that she splashed water on us. My cousin and I ran away with screams.

At that time, the three of us were clueless about "sex" and "privacy." Although my cousin was angry, it was just like children arguing and throwing a tantrum while playing games, not anger at being violated. Since we were discovered, my cousin and I simply started peeping "openly." We were still lying on the floor peeping, but we were also loudly discussing my cousin's figure. My cousin was both annoyed and amused. She tried to cover the vent with a washboard, a bucket, and other things to stop us from peeping. That's how the three of us siblings began our bathroom peeping battle during the rest of our annual leave.

On the last afternoon, my cousin was playing video games in the living room while I was taking a nap in my room. Suddenly, I felt someone touching my body. I was very sleepy and didn't want to pay attention to him, but the person kept touching my legs, which made me feel itchy. I opened my eyes groggily and saw my cousin sitting on the edge of the bed with her face flushed.

I said, "I want to sleep, don't bother me..."

My cousin stammered, "Then, then go to sleep!"

I closed my eyes, trying to fall back asleep, but after a while I felt my cousin touching my waist again. I opened my eyes and glared at her: "Stop touching me, it's annoying!"

My cousin paused for a while without saying anything, then suddenly said, "I'm going to tell your dad you peeked at me while I was showering!"

This startled me awake. I had thought it was just a game we kids played, and I vaguely felt that peeping was wrong, but I couldn't quite put my finger on why. I only knew that if my dad found out, I would definitely be beaten to death!

I was so nervous I almost cried: "Please don't say it, okay? Daddy will beat me!"

My cousin actually smiled happily and said, "Then you have to listen to me, and I won't say it."

I readily agreed, swearing I would listen to her no matter what. My cousin's face turned even redder, and she stammered, "Then...then...can I see your little penis?"

I was startled and quickly said no, but my cousin suddenly became bold and said, "You've been peeping at my body for so many days, and you don't even want to see it once? Then I'm going to tell your dad!"

I was so nervous I didn't know what to do. Suddenly, I made up my mind, stood on the bed, and pulled down my pants and underwear, revealing my little penis. At that time, I was only in sixth grade, and I hadn't fully developed yet. There wasn't a single hair on it, just a bald patch.

I'm much shorter than my cousin, but because I was standing on the bed, my penis was right in front of her eyes. She stared wide-eyed at it, speechless with surprise. I guess it was the first time she'd ever seen a male genitalia.

She stammered, "I...I...can I...touch it?"

I innocently replied, "Don't be too rough!"

My cousin gently tapped and touched my penis with her index finger, stimulating it until it gradually swelled. Seeing my erection, she wasn't scared at all; instead, she laughed and said, "So cute!"

I retorted, "That's not fair! I can only see your body, but you can touch my penis! I want to touch yours too!" My eyes were fixed on my cousin's breasts. I'd wanted to touch her breasts for a long time, but never had the courage. Now I finally had the chance.

My cousin hesitated for a moment, then suddenly stood up and pulled down her pants and underwear. I was about to say, "I want to touch your breasts, why are you taking your pants off?" But when I saw the tuft of pubic hair growing on her genitals, my mouth dropped open, and I was speechless with shock.

I had never known that women grew pubic hair! (Those damned mosaics in porn misled my innocent teenage self.)

When I peeped, I only stared at her breasts and never looked at my cousin's genitals. So even after watching her shower for so many days, I still didn't know what her genitals looked like.

My cousin lay on the bed with her face flushed and her legs spread open, saying, "Didn't you want to touch it?"

I swallowed hard and brought my face close to my cousin's genitals. Only then did I realize that besides having hair, her genitals also had strange little slits, and there was always fluid coming out. This was the first time in my life that I had seen a woman's genitals. I was so shocked that I couldn't speak. I just thought that women's genitals were so ugly. Before, when I watched porn, I thought that women's genitals were flat. Now I know that they have a vulva.

I reached out and touched her labia, feeling the sticky, wet fluid. It was indescribably disgusting. I brought it to my nose and smelled a strange, strong, fishy odor that made me want to vomit. But for some reason, I felt my whole body burning, my heart pounding as if it would jump out of my mouth. I felt extremely excited and continued to stroke my cousin's labia.

At that time, I was only in sixth grade and didn't know that a woman's vagina could be penetrated. I only saw that my cousin's labia were tight, and I could hardly tell that there was a "hole" where a finger could be inserted. So, no matter how much I touched her, I never thought of inserting my finger inside.

However, my cousin was clearly more excited than I was. Her face was flushed, she was panting, and her body was trembling slightly. She watched as my swollen penis continued to throb, as if trying to grow bigger, but the size was limited. Suddenly, she said, "I want to touch yours too!"

At that moment, I couldn't think straight. I just listened to my cousin and moved closer to her so she could touch my penis. Suddenly, she started stroking it. I felt pain, but also extreme pleasure, indescribably wonderful! I looked down and saw that she had slightly pulled back my foreskin, revealing a tiny bit of my glans. It was the first time I had ever seen my own glans, and I was incredibly curious. My cousin was just as curious as I was, and she gently touched my glans with her hand. I cried out, "Ah!" My

cousin asked anxiously, "Does it hurt?"

I replied, "A little, but it feels so good... Ouch! Don't stop!" This wonderful feeling was irresistible; my body swayed back and forth, yearning for her to continue stroking my penis.

My cousin stroked my penis with one hand while touching her own clitoris. At that time, I couldn't distinguish between the clitoris, that little fleshy lump, and the labia, those two thin layers of flesh. I only knew that she was stroking me while giving me a handjob.

We were both panting, our breathing getting louder and louder. I felt waves of pleasure surging through my body. Suddenly, I yelled, "I need to pee!" My cousin was startled when she heard me say I needed to pee. Afraid that I would pee on her, she pinched my penis tightly and commanded, "Don't pee, go to the toilet first!"

I desperately clenched my penis, trying to resist the urge to pee, but the urge was irresistible, constantly stimulating my penis. I closed my eyes and said: "I can't take it anymore, I'm about to pee!"

My cousin was terrified. "Don't pee, don't pee!" She stopped masturbating and pinched my penis tightly with both hands. It hurt, but I still couldn't stop the urge to pee. Suddenly, I ejaculated white "pee," which landed on her hands and clothes. My cousin screamed, and I screamed too. My whole body trembled, my mind went blank, as if I had fallen into heaven. My penis twitched and throbbed incessantly!

My cousin, being a middle school student, knew more about sex than I did. She knew this was "ejaculation," not "peeing." She breathed a sigh of relief and said, "You lied to me and said it was peeing!" I gasped for breath, unable to answer.

Later, my cousin told me that it was ejaculation, not peeing. Although I often secretly watched porn on Channel 4 back then and masturbated through my pants, this was my first time ejaculating. The feeling was so incredibly pleasurable that I became inseparable from sex, and even now, more than a decade later, I still frequently have sex with women.

Later, when my older cousin and her younger cousin lived with us, I often slept with my older cousin in my arms. Adults thought we had a good relationship, and they assumed my older cousin doted on me more than her brother. Little did they know that when we slept in each other's arms at night, we were actually caressing each other, not just sleeping.

This caressing continued for many years, even after she went to high school and got a boyfriend. She would still often sneak over to caress and shower with me. However, we never had sex. Although my cousin was adopted by my uncle and we weren't actually related by blood, deep down we still felt it was wrong, so we never dared to cross that final line.

During those years, there were a few times when we caressed each other or showered, I begged my cousin to let me penetrate her. There were also a few times when she got so excited she lost her senses and begged me to penetrate her. But in the end, we both held onto that final line and didn't actually penetrate her; at most, we just rubbed my penis against her clitoris.

We showered and caressed each other for several years, and she remained a virgin, as did I. Our caresses gradually decreased after she moved to a distant university, and eventually, we stopped mentioning it and made it our most precious secret. Looking back now, many years later, I truly admire our willpower—we managed to abstain from sex for so many years!

However, after so many caresses, she had long lost her hymen. Fortunately, we always refrained from actual intercourse, only enjoying the physical pleasure of caresses; otherwise, I would truly feel guilty towards my cousin's current husband! Now, my cousin and I have never crossed any lines; we respect and love each other, but never transgress. My cousin told me during a chat after she got married that her husband wasn't satisfying her, but we were just chatting; she wasn't implying I wanted to rekindle our relationship.

Over the years, she's never mentioned intimacy with me again, and neither have I. Although occasionally I dream of those wonderful days we spent together, and I suspect she's also recalled the days I helped her with intimacy, we're both adults now, no longer impulsive teenagers. Our transgressions will never happen again. Those beautiful memories of my youth can only be shared online with complete strangers.

[Third Diary Entry] Xiaoyu's Sex Diary: Public Sex

When I was twenty-five, I started playing online games and met several female netizens. I successfully arranged to meet three of them. Later, one of them became my second girlfriend, and another became my first sexual partner.

Meeting new girls online is actually very easy, much easier than meeting new women in real life. However, arranging a date is not so simple. Girls are very wary of strange men. Although they are more likely to open up to you because you've never met them, even about the most private things, it's incredibly difficult to ask them out.

If you want to ask female netizens out, you need to have sufficient attraction—even if it's virtual attraction online.

Back then, I was the guild leader of an online game and a big spender on virtual items. I spent NTD every day buying virtual treasures and also gave some to my guild members. In the eyes of my guildmates, I was a wealthy and caring top player.

(I did some equipment trading at the time, so I didn't actually spend much money on the game; in fact, I made a small profit in NTD.)

This attraction led me to my second girlfriend and my first sexual partner. Today's sex diary is about my sexual story with my partner, "Meow Meow."

My sexual partner has a cute name, "Meow Meow." It sounds adorable, but she's actually a 36-year-old mature woman, a full 11 years older than me at 25!

She has a great figure and is also a female doctor, much better off financially than I was when I first entered the workforce. The only downside is that she's not very pretty, just average-to-be-good-looking. But I don't care about her looks. Sex partners are all the same in the dark, and her figure is far more important than her face, haha!

Meow Meow's ex-boyfriend was married, and she was his mistress for five years, but in the end, he chose his family and left her. Later, she became addicted to online games, which is how she met me, the guild leader. Although she wasn't beautiful and was a mature woman, thanks to the years, she possessed extremely high sexual skills. On the first day we made love, the foreplay she gave me made me feel like I was in heaven, dreamlike and intoxicated. After making love with her, I finally understood what an "orgasm" was. I realized that a man's "ejaculation" is not the same as an "orgasm," and the feeling of an "orgasm" is a hundred times more pleasurable than "just ejaculation"!

Not only was her sexual skill superb, but her body was also extremely sensitive!

Whenever she orgasmed, her vagina would quickly contract, gripping my penis tightly, as tightly and continuously as a virgin's. When she first orgasmed, I thought she was faking it. Some women fake orgasms to satisfy a man's vanity or to end things quickly. Besides, her vagina was so tight that I couldn't move at all as I thrust in. I couldn't insert my penis any further or pull it out; I was completely immobilized. This orgasm was so exaggerated that I suspected she had deliberately trained her vagina to grip things tightly. This orgasm was just acting!

But after having sex with her more than ten times over several days, one day I suddenly realized that she wasn't acting; it was a real orgasm! Because when she orgasmed, her neck and chest would turn completely red, looking like a rash from being drunk, and it would gradually fade away after three or four minutes. A woman's expressions can be acted, and the strength of her vaginal muscles can be trained, but whether her skin turns red is not something she can consciously control!

Her sexual skills were superb; she was practically my mentor in foreplay, teaching me how to be gentle with women, about a woman's true erogenous zones, and how to bring a woman pleasure. After being her sexual partner for six months, I gradually surpassed her, understanding women's erogenous zones even better than my teacher, and I began to tire of having sex with her.

One day, I suggested having sex outdoors. Miao Miao, always unwilling to accept that my skills were gradually surpassing hers, and wanting to regain control of the sex life as a strong woman, readily agreed.

At the time, I was working in a rented apartment. Our first outdoor sex session was on the back balcony. There was no cover on the back balcony, only iron railings, a washing machine, and a dryer. The neighbors across the street could see us half-naked having sex just by looking out the window. Moreover, neighbors from other apartments could come out at any time. This tension made us both tremble slightly. For convenience, she wore a denim miniskirt without underwear. During our foreplay, her vaginal fluid flowed down her thighs, and a few drops even dripped onto the floor.

Meow Meow was terrified that a neighbor might be out, but out of a competitive spirit, she kept trying to take the initiative and French kiss me. She stroked my back with one hand and reached into my pants with the other, stroking my penis. But since we were embracing, I realized she wasn't as natural as she seemed; she was actually very scared, her body trembling violently!

I was nervous too, but much better than her. We usually do half an hour of foreplay, but this time, perhaps due to the novelty and nervousness, we only did five minutes of foreplay before her vagina became incredibly wet. Not only were my hands and her thighs wet, but the floor was also soaked. This excitement made me unable to restrain myself any longer. I lifted her buttocks and made her sit on the dryer. Her denim miniskirt couldn't cover her soaking wet vulva at all. I took out my penis and inserted it into her vagina. She let out a squeal and moaned twice, then immediately remembered that we were outside and someone might see us having sex half-naked at any time, so she quickly shut her mouth.

I loved hearing her moans; her voice was loud but natural and unpretentious. Seeing her shut her mouth now made me feel uneasy, so I abandoned my usual gentlemanly demeanor and instead of slowing down my thrusts, I thrust hard and forcefully, the dryer making a slight clattering sound as it shook. Meow felt a pleasurable sensation and couldn't help but pant, but she was still afraid of being seen and tried her best to keep her mouth shut.

I was also afraid of being seen, but I was unwilling to give up and not conquer her. I suddenly picked her up and made her lie face down on the balcony so I could have more force and speed with her. I put my hands inside her t-shirt, squeezing her breasts tightly, and thrust hard with my waist. Because of the force of the impact between Meow's buttocks and my genitals, her whole body would shake with each thrust, and her tightly closed lips would briefly part, letting out a low moan. With each thrust, she would let out a "hmm". For a moment, the balcony was filled with the soft sounds of our genitals hitting each other and her "hmm...hmm...hmm...hmm..." moans.

She likes to moan loudly during sex, and I love hearing her moan too, but this kind of moaning, a desperate attempt to hold back, is even more beautiful and melodious. Suddenly, I felt my penis being tightly gripped by her vagina, and I realized she had orgasmed.

However, I was probably too nervous; although my erect penis proved I was still excited, I didn't feel like ejaculating at all. I held her with one arm and gently stroked her hair with the other, whispering in her ear from behind, "Meow Meow, are you feeling good?"

Meow Meow nodded weakly and answered me in a very soft voice, "I didn't expect it to feel so good to do it outside..."

But she had orgasmed, and I hadn't ejaculated yet! I then asked, "Shall we go somewhere else outside and continue making love?"

Meow Meow hesitated for a while before answering. I'm always gentle with women, and I wasn't in a hurry to hurt her. I just gently stroked her hair and abdomen. I felt her body was burning hot, and she seemed weak and listless. This tense and exciting feeling made her tremble violently for ten minutes. I guessed that she was very tired after her orgasm and wanted to ask to go back to the bed in the room to make love again.

After a while, Miao Miao replied softly, "Hmm... let's change then..." Actually, I already knew she would agree. Her strong-willed personality wouldn't allow her to beg for mercy. I helped her put her denim shorts back on, which were pulled down to her buttocks, and then put my penis in my pants. I took her hand and left the balcony, passing through five suites. We went through the main door and walked to the stairwell on the fifth floor.

Throughout the journey, she kept her head down, not daring to look up, afraid that someone would see her face. I, on the other hand, kept looking around to see if anyone was spying on us, but thankfully no one was watching, so it was a close call.

I rented a furnished suite in an old apartment building, with windows on each floor's stairwell, at chest height for an adult. I opened the window and looked at the street; there were two or three pedestrians walking by. Miao Miao was completely limp, letting me move her around as I pleased. I turned her over, leaning her against the window, with half her head sticking out. Miao Miao turned her head to look at the street, saw people, and realized we were on the third floor; the thrill instantly turned into fear.

Meow Meow was trembling as she asked me, "Xiaoyu, do we really have to stay here? There are people outside!"

I asked her in return, "So you want to go back to your room?"

Meow Meow's competitive nature kicked in again, and she said, "Let's stay here, it's pretty exciting anyway."

A woman's uterus secretes a lot of fluid after orgasm, but her libido cools down quickly, and her vagina becomes dry and sticky. So I didn't rush to penetrate her, but instead started foreplay again, kissing her from French kiss down to her vulva. (I didn't mind that I had just penetrated her.)

Miao Miao grabbed my hair and pressed me hard, almost shoving my head into her denim miniskirt. She was nervous and scared, and her body was sweating a lot. I smelled the love fluid mixed with sweat from her vagina, and the strong female hormones made me unable to resist any longer. I stopped the foreplay and thrust into her vagina again.

She held me tightly, while I twisted my waist and stole glances at the pedestrians on the street. Actually, I was a little afraid that passersby would look up at me. This time, it was my turn to feel fear. Fear, along with the pleasure in my lower body, quickly rushed to my brain. I realized that this was not a good thing. If I continued like this, I would ejaculate in less than a minute, which would be too fast! With a wicked thought, I turned Miao Miao around so that she was looking at the people outside the window. Then I tore her t-shirt. She was startled and accidentally screamed loudly. Fortunately, there was a lot of noise on the street, and no one looked up.

Miao Miao turned around and glared at me: "What are you doing?"

I chuckled and said, "I'm doing you!"

Miao Miao bit my hand angrily, and I pulled my hand back in pain. Then I forcefully tore her t-shirt, exposing her entire breasts since she wasn't wearing a bra. She quickly grabbed the torn fabric with her right hand to cover herself, while her left hand remained on the windowsill. I wanted to tear her t-shirt completely in the middle, but I couldn't tear it completely; I could only tear it in half, so I gave up.

Miao Miao only had one hand on the windowsill. Afraid of heights, she didn't dare turn around and glare at me, but she didn't dare let go of the fabric with her other hand, letting me do as I pleased. I kissed the back of her neck while slowly thrusting in and out, gradually increasing the speed. Although the street outside the window was noisy, I could hear Miao Miao's moans gradually growing louder. I thought it was strange; wasn't she always afraid of being seen by others? I turned to look at her face. She was so scared that she simply closed her eyes.

I guessed that even though she closed her eyes, she must have been thinking shameful things like, "Someone must have seen us and is watching us have sex," and "Someone is looking at my breasts." We had only been doing it for a few minutes when she had another orgasm, squeezing my penis tightly. But I was also really at my limit. When she squeezed me during her orgasm, I couldn't hold back anymore. I pulled out with all my might and then thrust back into her tight vagina.

Perhaps because I was about to ejaculate, I used extra force. Before, when her vagina gripped me, I truly couldn't penetrate even half an inch deeper, but this time I couldn't hold back any longer. I thrust in with all my might, ejaculating my life essence. Although we've probably made love over a hundred times, this was the first time we orgasmed simultaneously. As I ejaculated, I felt her vagina contracting wave after wave, as if it were sucking my semen away, leaving my mind blank and almost paralyzed.

Afterwards, when we chatted, I always joked that she was a semen-sucking spider woman, while she laughed at me, calling me a pervert in gentleman's clothing.

(Because I'm very gentle with girls, she calls me a gentleman, but I always find ways to make girls do exciting and new sexual things, so she calls me a pervert. But not the violent kind of pervert; I never use violence against women.)

Later, we did it in more exciting public places, and a few times we almost got caught and were spied on, but we quickly hid. After doing it outdoors several times, the novelty and excitement wore off, and we went back to home or a hotel. After all, comfort is the most important thing.

[Fourth Diary Entry] Xiaoyu's Sex Diary: My First Virgin Experience

Maybe it's because I was born into a single-parent family. I don't have a mother, and my father was often violent towards me, which made me crave love from a young age. I developed romantic feelings early; starting in fifth grade, I began writing love letters to girls. But despite this early start, my personal qualities weren't appealing, so I was never able to get a girlfriend. I was always just seen as a "nice guy" or a "best friend." After repeated failures, I gradually lowered my standards, eventually becoming so desperate that I was indiscriminate in my choices.

I've mentioned before that I have a lot of luck with women; I've had sex with countless women. Although what I truly crave isn't sex, but simply love, I just can't seem to attract women, especially not marriage. I've almost never had a girlfriend throughout my life, and even though I desperately want to be in a relationship and get married, I just can't seem to find the right person.

When I was twenty-one, I finally got my first girlfriend. She had polio, wasn't very pretty, and her right leg was bent outwards, making her walk with a noticeable limp. Most men wouldn't choose to date her, but at that time, I was only interested in being in a relationship, so I didn't care about anything else. Even if she had polio, I would have dated a disabled person or an extremely unattractive woman.

Our relationship progressed quickly, and we soon moved in together. However, love comes and goes quickly; we broke up after only three months. She longed for a mature man who would take care of her, but I was a naive young man, easily jealous and prone to temper tantrums, with a very immature view of love. Looking back now, I feel really guilty towards her, and I'm also grateful to her for being there for me during that brief period of love, allowing me to experience the bittersweetness of love for the first time.

However, the topic here is sex, not love. My love history can be summarized briefly without going into details.

My first sexual experience happened in her brother's bed. Although I had years of experience with caressing with my cousin, we were both clueless and didn't really "enjoy sex," but rather "enjoy caressing." Therefore, my sexual knowledge was still insufficient. At that time, my sexual knowledge came from Japanese porn, and thus, I made the same mistake as all men—"Go harder, go harder, the faster the better for the woman, the harder the sex, the more comfortable the woman will feel."

Although my caressing skills were quite good, my cousin and I never had sex. I never penetrated her, and because of this, my understanding of the piston-like motion during sex, like that of men all over Taiwan, was wrong—that the faster and harder the penetration, the more pleasure the woman would feel.

After getting my first girlfriend, I was finally able to break free of this taboo. We had sex after dating for a month. Having tasted the forbidden fruit for the first time, I was like a dog in heat, thinking about sex all day long. Although my girlfriend loved my caresses, she always hated having sex with me. (However, she always held back from telling me.)

The first time we had sex, she lay on the bed with her eyes tightly closed, letting me do as I pleased. I, on the other hand, openly studied every part of her body, while also observing her reactions to her feigned sleep. While undressing her, I noticed that her breasts were uneven; her left breast was about a B cup, while her right was only an A cup, like a slightly protruding hill. When I removed her underwear, I noticed that her right leg was emaciated, resembling a malnourished foot, while her left leg was strong and powerful. I guessed that because her right leg was immobile, she had shifted her weight to her left leg over the years, making the left side of her body stronger than the right, thus causing the uneven breast size.

Although she wasn't particularly attractive, I was very curious about whether both sides of her body were equally sensitive. I caressed her entire body with my hands and tongue, and from her reactions, it seemed that although her body proportions were different, her sensitivity levels were the same.

Since we were having sex in her brother's bed, I was worried he would come back and see us, so I only caressed her for about ten minutes before getting down to business. I took off my pants, picked up my penis, and prepared to insert it into her vagina, but after several attempts, I couldn't find a suitable position to penetrate her. My penis rubbed back and forth against her labia for a long time, but I still couldn't get it in. Just when I was about to give up, my girlfriend suddenly opened her eyes, clamped her legs around my buttocks, and gently pulled my body forward with her hands. I actually penetrated her! It was

my first time penetrating a woman's vagina, and I only felt that it was very warm inside, and wet and sticky, which felt indescribably comfortable. I did feel some pain, but the pleasure far outweighed the pain, so I ignored it and started thrusting vigorously. With each thrust, I felt even stronger pleasure and pain. I always thought only women felt pain during their first experience, but I never imagined that men could feel pain during their first experience too!

I wonder if every man experiences pain during his first sexual experience? I certainly felt a little pain. Although I retract my foreskin during masturbation, I don't retract it all the way to the base. But during the first penetration, my foreskin naturally retracted to the base, so while thrusting, I felt pain along with pleasure.

Perhaps because of the pain, the pleasure was significantly reduced, and I continued thrusting for over twenty minutes before ejaculating inside her. Afterwards, when we chatted, she often questioned whether I was a virgin because my foreplay was so skillful and my stamina so good. Little did she know that my skillful foreplay stemmed from years of caressing with my cousin, and my good stamina was due to the pain in my penis, causing delayed ejaculation. However, to save face, I didn't tell her the truth.

However, one thing made her quite believe I was a virgin: during our first time having sex, I rubbed against her labia for a long time but still couldn't penetrate... I seemed very clumsy.

Every time we did foreplay, she always felt very comfortable, but during sex, I just kept thrusting wildly. She went from pretending to be comfortable, to feeling nothing, and finally enduring pain, but I didn't care. I was just enjoying the pleasure of my penis being enveloped by her warm vagina.

My first taste of forbidden fruit made me unable to control myself. During our relationship, I asked to have sex with her every day, sometimes as many as three times a day. Towards the end, my penis even chafed raw, and it hurt terribly! We only abstained for three or four days, and continued having sex the rest of the time. She endured it, afraid to tell me, but the truth is, a woman won't feel comfortable just from wild, forceful sex. Therefore, during that period, I had sex with her using the wrong concepts.

Our relationship ended after only three months. She bore the brunt of my immature views on love back then, which made me feel extremely guilty and grateful. It helped me become more mature and stable in my second and third relationships.

[Fifth Diary Entry] Xiaoyu's Sex Diary: I Was Tricked into Buying Prostitutes

Hello everyone, I'm Xiaoyu. Today's topic is buying prostitutes.

Escort services, prostitution, drinking tea, eating fish, Thai bathing, the National Salvation Corps, etc., there are many methods, but they are all similar, only the process differs slightly. The purpose is the same: "sex transaction."

I've had three girlfriends in total, and my second relationship is a wound that will never heal; I never want to talk about her… Before that second relationship ended, I was a devoted man. The only women I ever slept with were my cousin and my first girlfriend. My sex life wasn't promiscuous; I was very faithful. Back then, Xiaoyu was a devoted and good man.

But after the second relationship broke down, I fell into depravity.

Everyone copes with a broken heart in different ways. Some people smoke excessively, some drink heavily, some become addicted to online games, and some spend money on prostitutes. I was an honest man back then; I didn't smoke, drink, gamble, or visit prostitutes. I buried myself in work, trying to forget her by being busy. I worked overtime every day, fifteen or sixteen hours a day, and didn't take a vacation for three months.

My buddy Guo saw me working like crazy and becoming listless and dazed whenever I wasn't working. He tried to offer me cigarettes and alcohol, but I refused them all. So, he secretly decided to trick me into going to prostitution, to make me see women as nothing more than clothes, and stop being so infatuated with one woman.

One early morning, he mysteriously knocked on my door, saying he wanted to take me to a "good place." I couldn't sleep because I was thinking about my ex-girlfriend, so I went with my buddy Guo.

My friend Xiao Guo took me to an area in Sanchong. There were many small temples in the area, and red lanterns hung everywhere. Xiao Guo pointed to the red lanterns and said, "See? This place has red lanterns, and they're selling sex inside."

I asked in surprise, "Aren't these the kind of lanterns that temples usually hang? How can they be selling sex?"

Xiao Guo drove another twenty meters, and we came to another old building that didn't look like a temple or a shop. He said, "See? There are lanterns here too. This place is also 'doing business'."

I observed carefully. He drove around this area, and there were red lanterns hanging every half block, and some of the shops were even located next to the police station. Beside me, I asked, "It can't all be prostitutes, right? Otherwise, the police would have arrested them long ago, with the station right next door!"

My friend Xiao Guo laughed and said, "You're too naive. This is a lucrative job!"

Xiao Guo continued, "Do you think all the police are so upright? The police officers who are stationed here are overjoyed. They all receive a lot of bribes. When there's a crackdown on prostitution, they'll notify the shops in advance to avoid it. Then, for shops that are late in handing over bribes or give too few, they'll arrest one or two mainland girls to make up the difference. This boosts their sales and also serves as a warning to shops that don't give enough bribes. They make a profit from both sides!"

Back then, I, Xiao Yu, was still a proper and honest person and never imagined such a thing would happen. Then he drove around to the main road and saw that the lights were dim. Every twenty meters there was a person standing outside. There were old women, strong men and young men. His friend Xiao Guo slowed down and said, "Those are all outside soliciting customers. We can't let the girls stand out and solicit customers themselves. That's too arrogant." He then rolled down the car window.

Sure enough, a tall, burly man immediately approached our car and said, "Hey bro, we have some new stuff today! Want to give it a try?"

My friend Xiao Guo casually replied, "Sure, I'll look around first, I'll be right back."

The burly man wasn't angry and smiled, saying, "No problem, you can always come back."

After driving a few dozen meters further, a woman in her forties or fifties came up and said, "Hey! Bro, we have 'washing' services here!"

My friend Xiao Guo's eyes lit up, and he looked at me with a wicked grin: "Today I'll let you try something special, guaranteed to make you forget your ex-girlfriend!"

I've never been to a prostitute. However, I didn't know beforehand that I would be taken to a prostitute. At that time, I was a rather conservative and honest person when it came to sex. I was scared and said, "You go ahead, I'll wait for you in the car."

My friend Xiao Guo suddenly raised his voice and said, "You can't wait in the car! Even if you really don't want to do it, you have to sit inside and wait. Waiting in the car is like offending them!"

The aunt next to me also chimed in, "Hey, no one waits in the car. You have to wait inside while we make tea and you can chat with the girls."

I looked at the aunt with a smile in her eyes, as if she was mocking me for being a newbie who didn't know the rules. Although I didn't want to go to a prostitute at all, in my mind at that time, love had to be faithful, and "love" and "sex" were inseparable. How could I have sex with a woman I had no feelings for? I wanted to refuse, but I was afraid they would be angry, so I reluctantly agreed.

I followed my aunt and my friend Xiao Guo into the dimly lit street and arrived at an old house. My aunt warmly invited us to sit down and then called out to the room. Five young women filed out, a variety of shapes and sizes, and they looked to be between twenty and thirty years old.

My friend Xiao Guo's eyes lit up. He pointed to a tall girl, about 170 cm tall. The girl smiled at him and led him into the room. As he walked in, Xiao Guo turned back and said, "Xiao Yu, I'll go in first. You can take your time choosing!"

After Xiao Guo left, I was the only man left in the living room. I didn't know what to do. I was terrified. I didn't know whether to stand or sit. The aunt encouraged me to choose a girl too: "Your friend is in there for forty or fifty minutes. How embarrassing is it for you to wait here alone? You've come at the right time. Our girls are especially good today. There's also a new one from the mainland. She's only eighteen!"

The aunt pointed to a woman with large breasts. I could tell she looked twenty-five, but she insisted on saying she was eighteen. I was a little unhappy. But as I looked closer at their attire, my heart started racing. These girls were all wearing only one-piece dresses, the necklines plunging so low that most of their breasts were exposed, almost revealing their nipples. Whether they had large or small breasts was immediately obvious, no doubt about it! And their skirts were 25 centimeters above the knee, practically as short as underwear. I stole a glance out of the corner of my eye, but still couldn't see any underwear. I secretly wondered, "Are they even wearing underwear?"

The auntie kept urging me on for a while, and I gradually couldn't hold back anymore. I thought, "Okay, it's just a little money anyway. I'll pick a girl to go into the room, and then tell her I won't do anything, but I'll still give her the money. That way, I won't have to face so many women staring at me here, and I can also avoid that annoying auntie." I chose the big-breasted mainland girl recommended by the auntie. Although she looked to have a very standard figure, at most she could only be considered slightly chubby, but her breasts looked frighteningly large, definitely a G-cup, completely disproportionate to her figure. Girls with her figure would at most be a C or D cup, but she had super big G-cups. I guessed that she had probably given birth not long ago, so her breasts were super big!

My reasons for choosing her were partly altruistic: "She just gave birth and is still working this kind of money, it must be really tough for her. I chose her but we won't have sex, so she can rest for an hour and earn a little more money." But I also had a wicked thought: "If we really have sex, maybe... maybe I can get some breast milk!" Lost

in these thoughts, I followed the busty woman into the shop. The busty mainland Chinese woman led me to a small room at the back, dimly lit with only a small yellow pendant light. I was wondering what reason I could use to say, "We don't need to have sex, I'll still pay you." Just as I was about to say it, I saw her lock the door and then take off her dress with lightning speed, as fast as lightning!

Although the lighting was dim, I could vaguely see her body. I was stunned and froze. She wasn't wearing a bra, and her breasts were indeed enormous, so large that they sagged slightly.

The busty woman said, "Stop looking, take off your clothes, I'll help you take a bath."

At that moment, my brain had stopped working, my mind was completely blank, and I unconsciously took off my clothes. When I came to my senses, she had already soaked us both, applied shower gel to me, and then told me to lie down on a strange thing. It wasn't a chair, nor a table; I didn't know how to describe it.

At that moment, the busty woman pressed her breasts against my face, and I was shocked. Then I felt a sense of suffocation. I saw her remove her breasts from my face, but then press them against my arm, twisting her whole body, and then pressing her breasts against my chest, lower abdomen, thighs, and penis...

She, she, she... she was actually using her huge breasts to bathe me!

Just as my heart was racing, she then grabbed my arm and rubbed her labia against my hand. Her pubic hair was very thick, but because of the shower gel, it didn't feel itchy at all. I only felt the warm, thick flesh rubbing my arm back and forth.

Then, she sat on my upper abdomen. Perhaps because of her large breasts, I felt she was quite heavy and a little uncomfortable. However, my attention was quickly diverted because this time she was using her "whole body" to bathe me!

Her large breasts were pressed against my chest, her abdomen against my abdomen, her clitoris and labia against my penis, her thighs clamped around one of my legs, and then she twisted up and down vigorously, using every part of her body to bathe me! At that moment, I could no longer remember the belief I had when I first entered the room: "I don't want to have sex with you"... My mind went blank, and I didn't even know how this physical bath ended...

Then the busty girl helped me put on a condom and gave me a blowjob, and we had sex, etc. I won't go into details about these things because the physical bath was too shocking for me. The feeling afterward was nothing special, and I couldn't even ejaculate during sex.
(Back then, Xiaoyu was still a naive boy who firmly believed that "love is the prerequisite for sex," so he didn't feel anything during sex and didn't feel the urge to ejaculate.)

Afterwards, when my friend Xiaoguo drove me away, he told me that this was called a "Thai shower," which was just a kind of erotic activity and didn't contribute to "physical pleasure." But I was really quite fascinated by this feeling; the emotional impact it brought was enormous. Although my cousin and I had showered together for many years, we always used our hands to wash and caress each other; we never thought about using our entire bodies to wash each other. However, it's not easy to find places that offer "Thai showers" now, and the service isn't as professional as it used to be.

Although I was tricked into prostitution by my bad friend Xiao Guo, it was the first time in my life that I had engaged in sex transactions with a woman. I couldn't sleep all night that day, sometimes thinking about my ex-girlfriend, sometimes thinking about the sex transaction I had just had. My views on love were greatly impacted...

From that day on, I fell into depravity, my views on love were shattered, and "sex and love can be separated" became my new concept. I "ate fish," "drank tea," had one-night stands, had casual sex partners, etc... and had sex with dozens of women.

[Sixth Diary Entry] Xiaoyu's Sex Diary: Caresses with My Cousin

Hello everyone, I am Xiaoyu. Today I originally wanted to write about what happened between me and other sex partners, but judging from everyone's comments, it seems that you like my cousin more, so let's talk about what happened between my cousin and me first! However, we've been together for so many years, and so much has happened. Besides "tender play" and "bathing together," we've also developed feelings for each other, argued, almost been caught by adults, fought because my cousin was jealous that my cousin didn't love him more, and I even followed my cousin on dates after she got a boyfriend… There have been so many things! If I wrote them all down, I could probably write a whole novel. ==

Between my cousin and me, there exists an emotion that transcends kinship, but it's not love. We both have an indescribable ambiguity, and I've thought about it for a long time but still can't find a suitable word to describe our relationship.

I've longed for love since I was little, and before I even started a "tender relationship" with my cousin, I was already pursuing other female classmates. I was only in fifth grade then. I know the reason very well. I lost my mother when I was young, and my father was an alcoholic and gambler, often not coming home for a week or two. As a primary school student, I had to learn to be independent and live alone from a

young age. Lacking both paternal and maternal love, I transferred all these emotions to "love." I longed to meet a girl who loved me and would accompany me. During the Spring Festival holiday, my cousin and I'd gone from our "bathroom peeping battle" to a "tender relationship." But after the holiday, they went back to their own homes, and I was alone again. The house felt empty, with only loneliness for company. I didn't know when my father would come home. I thought about my cousin every day. So much happened this Spring Festival...

My cousin and I peeked at girls showering for the first time. I saw a girl's breasts and genitals for the first time.
A girl touched my penis for the first time.
I ejaculated for the first time.
And... our first caressing game.

After that, my cousin would often call my house and occasionally come to visit me on weekends. But for some reason, although I thought about her every day, I was afraid to see her. I avoided meeting her. It was probably because the impact of my first ejaculation was too strong, and it happened in front of a girl. I felt extremely ashamed.

I'd been avoiding her for a long time, probably three or four months, maybe even longer... One day, I came home from school and saw my cousin sitting at my door. I was startled and turned to run, but my cousin, who was already in junior high, was much taller and more well-educated than me. She rushed over and grabbed the back of my school uniform collar, yelling, "You little brat, you stinky little brat, you think you can run away!"

I didn't dare turn around and struggled desperately, my hands wildly flailing back. I think I touched my cousin's chest, and she was startled and let go of me. As soon as I broke free, I ran downstairs, but after a few steps, I heard my cousin yelling, "Xiaoyu! If you run away again, I won't be friends with you anymore! I, I, I, you..." Then I heard a "waaaah!" and my cousin suddenly burst into tears.

I'm terrified of girls crying. When I heard my cousin cry, I tiptoed back upstairs, completely at a loss, not knowing how to comfort her. When my cousin saw me come back, she cried and yelled, hitting me repeatedly with both hands: "You little brat, you...you run away again! You run away again! I'm not going to be friends with you anymore!"

I quickly apologized: "Sister, don't cry, I won't run away again!"

My cousin stopped hitting me, but then she thought for a moment, reached out again, grabbed my left hand, opened her mouth, and bit down hard. It hurt so much I cried loudly!

She really bit me so hard I cried; it hurt so much!

She made me remember one thing forever—"Never mess with women!"

No matter how old or young a girl is, you must never push her too far. If you do, she really will bite... Many couples often joke with each other, saying, "Come on, bite me!" But I'm different. I would never say that to a woman because my older cousin's fierce bite back then truly terrified me!

I can't quite remember what happened afterward, since I was still in elementary school at the time, and it was more than ten years ago, so my memory is very vague... I only remember that my siblings and I both came in crying. I still don't quite understand why she was crying... But I cried because she bit me so hard.

I don't remember what happened after that. I only remember that when I went to sleep that night, my sister had her arms around my waist. But I was extremely excited and nervous and couldn't sleep at all. All I could think about was the scene of our first time caressing each other. Sometimes I could see her tight labia with lots of soft hair growing on them, and sometimes I could see her naked body while taking a bath.

The room was pitch black, and I couldn't see if my cousin was asleep. I tentatively asked in a very soft voice, "Sister, are you asleep?"

My cousin didn't respond. I waited for a while, inhaling the faint fragrance emanating from her body. I couldn't tell if it was her natural feminine scent or the smell of soap. I only knew that I increasingly wanted to touch my cousin's body and get closer to her to smell her scent. My lust grew, and I slowly reached out and gently touched my cousin's body. I felt that I should have touched her waist. I paused for a few seconds to make sure that my cousin was really fast asleep before I boldly reached up and touched her. Although seeing my cousin's genitals last time had given me a huge shock, as a primary school student, I was still more interested in girls' breasts. I gradually moved upwards and touched my cousin's breasts.

Although my cousin is only in the first year of junior high school, she's well-developed and already wears a bra. But I had no idea how to unhook it, so I just reached inside. My cousin's breasts were soft and elastic. I gradually touched the nipple in the center. I thought it would be soft and elastic too, but it felt a little hard, and it seemed to get harder the more I touched it.

Touching a girl's breasts for the first time made me extremely excited. I touched it for a long time, and the pressure unconsciously increased. Suddenly, I heard a low shout in my ear: "Be gentle! It hurts!"

I was enjoying touching it when I suddenly heard my cousin's voice. I was almost scared to death! I quickly pulled my hand back, but I pulled too hard, and my cousin's bra came loose and fell off. I was afraid my cousin would scold me, but to my surprise, she gently took my hand and led it to her underwear.

(Long afterward, when we were chatting, she told me that she hadn't slept at all the time; she had been waiting for me to touch her body first... It turns out that girls are so cunning even when they're young!) -__-;;

My fingers felt a wet, sticky sensation. I knew it was liquid flowing from between my cousin's two tight, tender lips. I vaguely knew it wasn't urine, but being young, I didn't know that this was the love fluid that women secrete when they're aroused. I only knew that this viscous liquid had a strange, unpleasant smell that made me even more aroused.

My cousin pulled my hand and rubbed it up and down her panties. I didn't dare struggle, but I could feel her breathing getting heavier. She was using one of my hands to masturbate, and I didn't dare pull it away, but all I could think about were her breasts.

I couldn't help it; I was too young then to appreciate the beauty of a woman's labia and vagina, let alone the beauty of her neck, waist, legs, and so on. At that time, I only thought that the breasts were a woman's most beautiful and attractive feature.

I mustered my courage and reached out my other hand to touch my cousin's nipple again, but she pushed my hand away, saying, "Don't touch me there, it hurts!"

(We only learned a year or two later that her breasts were still developing at that time, so her nipples were particularly sensitive. A light touch would feel very comfortable and enjoyable to her, but if I touched her nipples for too long or used even a little force, the pleasure would turn into pain.)

Not being able to touch her breasts was a bit of a disappointment, but besides her breasts, I didn't know where else to touch. So, on instinct, I started touching my own penis. Having experienced my cousin masturbating me before, I knew that stroking my penis up and down would feel very good. However, I didn't dare to pull down my foreskin like she did; it would sting a little. So, I stroked it less, and probably didn't expose the glans.

In the darkness, we couldn't see each other. I could only feel my cousin's breathing getting louder and heavier, and I couldn't help but imitate her breathing. Strangely, when my cousin heard me breathing, she breathed even louder! However, my masturbation didn't last long. After only a short while, I felt that "extremely strong urge to urinate" that I had when I ejaculated last time rushing back. I shouted, "Sister, I... I can't hold it in anymore!"

My cousin was startled, but unlike last time, she didn't stop masturbating, grab my penis, or order me not to "urinate." This time, she grabbed my hand even harder and rubbed her genitals. I was afraid of ejaculating on the blankets and bed, so I tried to jump out of bed and rush to the bathroom. But my cousin was enjoying herself and held onto my hand tightly. I tried to hold it in, but it was no use. I only held it for three or four seconds before I ejaculated. As I ejaculated, I involuntarily screamed and my whole body convulsed for more than ten seconds...

I don't remember what happened after that. I only remember catching my breath for a while and then falling asleep in a daze.

But I vaguely remember that before I fell asleep, my cousin was still holding my hand and helping her masturbate. I was so tired that I wanted to pull my hand away, but my cousin still held my hand tightly as she touched her genitals and wouldn't let go. I had no choice but to let her do as she pleased and went to sleep on my own.

I have no idea how long she touched me that day...

I only remember that when I woke up in the morning, I was rubbing my eyes as I walked to the bathroom, but I smelled a very strong, fishy smell on my hands, so stinky that it woke me up completely! I smelled my other hand and also smelled a faint stench, and there was something white and dry on my hands. I thought for a while before I remembered that one hand was my cousin's vaginal fluid, and the other hand was my own semen, which took me a long time to wash off with soap...

Later, we found dried semen on the bed, and there was also a small stain on the bed where she was lying. The two of us kids spent a lot of effort washing the sheets and blankets, and after we finally finished, we rushed to school... That morning almost killed us.

After our first time caressing each other, I ejaculated for the first time in my life, and it happened on her hands and clothes. As a young child, I felt ashamed to ejaculate in front of a girl, so I avoided her for several months. Last night, we finally had our second time caressing each other. But after this time, I opened up and stopped avoiding my cousin. She started coming to my house every day, and eventually she just stayed at my house and wouldn't leave.

(Actually, half of it was because I was afraid my cousin would bite my hand again = =;; so I dared not avoid her anymore.)

However, my cousin stayed at my house too frequently, and she never brought her younger brother with her, which caused misunderstandings with my aunt and uncle. They mistakenly thought that my cousin was heartbroken because my mother had passed away early and my father often went gambling and didn't come home, so she specially came to stay at my house to take care of my younger brother. They even praised the beautiful girl for being kind and knowing how to take care of her younger cousin! Little

did they know that the truth was that the two of us kids were actually on a "journey of exploring the mysteries of the human body"...

and my cousin, because his sister and I became very close, was jealous and threw tantrums for a while! However, we didn't dare tell him about the "tender games" between my cousin and me. We were afraid he would tell the adults, so we deliberately distanced ourselves from him.

Later, I developed strange feelings for my cousin. I fell in love with her, so I stopped peeping at her while she was showering with my younger cousin. I didn't want other boys to see her naked. Fortunately, my younger cousin was too young. He really only saw peeping as a game. After he stopped playing, he focused on video games and gradually forgot that we used to peep at my cousin together.

My cousin and I played a game of caressing each other for about six or seven years... I'll talk about what happened between us later! This time it took me so long to write, I'm so tired!

I wrote in my diary while reminiscing, and my penis was erect the whole time I was reminiscing about my cousin. I wrote this entry for four or five hours today, and my penis was erect for four or five hours as well. To be honest, this is the first time I've maintained an erection for so long. This... this is really painful!

[Seventh entry]: My cousin and I's kissing game

Hello everyone on the Ellie Forum and Facebook, let's continue talking about what happened between my cousin and me when we were little.

Starting in sixth grade, my cousin and I began our "playful affection game." Over the next six or seven years, so much happened between us.

We were very close, but we were cousins after all, and the shackles of "family" separated us, even though we weren't related by blood...

My cousin and I were adopted by my aunt and uncle. Because we had played together since we were little, no matter how close we were, we could never break free from these shackles. Every time we enjoyed heavenly physical pleasure, we also suffered hellish spiritual sins.

Therefore, we did everything, but we just never had physical intercourse. Until the very end, I never penetrated her vagina because of guilt. We both tried our best to restrain ourselves and made a promise not to penetrate each other.

Looking back now, the willpower we had to endure can only be described as a "miracle"...

After my second caressing game with my older cousin in sixth grade, she often stayed at my house alone. At first, my younger cousin also wanted to stay. The three of us siblings had always played and fought together since we were little. My younger cousin was suddenly neglected by us, and he was very jealous. Especially when he found out in junior high school that he was an adopted son of his parents, he felt that he was not related to us and that we had no blood relation. So his rebellious period lasted for a long time.

My cousin and I were the complete opposite. We grew closer and closer, and as we touched each other, feelings developed that transcended the sibling bond between "relatives."

We went on dates, ate together, slept together, and kissed, but our feelings weren't exactly "romantic." In junior and senior high school, although we played caressing games almost every day, she had a crush and had boyfriends. I, while never having had a girlfriend, had pursued girls.

While feelings were blossoming between us, we allowed each other to fall in love with others, which occasionally led to jealousy and arguments. This complex relationship is indescribable.

At first, we simply caressed each other's genitals, but after a month or two, we gradually began exploring other areas.

When I was in sixth grade, the most popular TV show was the Japanese drama "Itazura na Kiss," where a single kiss could drastically change the heroine's life. My cousin and I were also very curious about kissing and tried our first kiss. However, after kissing several times, neither of us felt anything; it was just "four lips touching," without any sensual stimulation, let alone any emotional development. It was completely different from what was portrayed in the drama.

Nevertheless, we continued to kiss many times. Later, during one of our caresses, I suddenly had a bright idea and kissed her breasts. My cousin had developed early, and her breasts were already around a B cup. I'm shorter than her, and my hands are smaller, so my hands were just the right size to hold her breasts.

I started by sucking on her tender pink nipples, and my cousin suddenly let out a soft moan, "Ah... um..."

We'd been caressing each other for months, and although we were always breathing heavily and panting a lot, we never made a sound (afraid my dad would suddenly come home and hear). This time, her sudden moan excited me greatly, and I kept sucking on her nipples, getting harder and harder with each suck.

Normally, my cousin hates it when I touch her nipples; I can touch her labia or other parts, but she won't let me touch her nipples for too long (she says it hurts if I touch them for too long). But this time, she seemed to enjoy my kissing of her nipples. That's when I realized that using the tongue can bring a woman more pleasure than using the hands.

On a whim, I started licking upwards with my tongue, licking her breasts, collarbone, shoulders, and neck. When I licked her neck, my cousin reacted particularly strongly; she kept writhing her whole body, as if she was ticklish but also seemed to be enjoying it. I sucked and licked, finally reaching her cheeks.

Normally, during foreplay, no matter how much you lick, you wouldn't lick the cheeks, but this was my first time licking a woman's body, and I didn't know anything. I just wanted to make my cousin feel better and also wanted to take the opportunity to hear her moans. So I licked her chin, her cheeks, her nose, her forehead, and even her tightly closed eyelids, getting her whole face covered in my saliva.

Finally, when we kissed, I also put my tongue in. I felt a wet and hot sensation on the tip of my tongue, which was unbearably tingly and itchy, yet so comfortable that it was hard to stop. That's when I realized that the "kissing" shown on TV was completely fake. It wasn't comfortable, and it was even harder to develop feelings. Only "French kissing" could truly allow two people to have a physical and spiritual connection.

My cousin and I hugged tightly, and our tongues intertwined instantly. Her breath sprayed onto my eyes and nose. We French kissed for a very long time, several times longer than our caresses. We were both panting heavily. It was our first time French kissing, so our technique wasn't very good. Sometimes our teeth would collide, and sometimes we would accidentally bite each other lightly. But the hardest thing to control was our saliva. Saliva kept flowing in our mouths while we French kissed. By the end, our chins were covered in saliva, and the bed was also quite wet. I couldn't tell if it was my saliva or hers.

I grinned and said, "Sister, you drool so much!"

My cousin lightly tapped my head and said, "Nonsense! It's clearly your drool. Look, my face is all sticky from your kisses!"

We were both still young, so we argued back and forth about "your drool" and "my drool." But after a short while, my cousin asked me to kiss her a few more times. It seemed she especially enjoyed licking her body with me.

However, the next day, when my cousin wanted to French kiss me, I refused. My throat was sore and painful that day, probably because I had been using my tongue for too long. Not only did I French kiss my cousin for a long time, but I also licked her upper body for a long time, which made my tongue and throat ache for two whole days. My cousin

only French kissed me and didn't lick my body, so she didn't feel any pain at all. I begged her to lick my body too, but she said boys sweat a lot and their bodies are dirty, and she absolutely refused to lick me. I protested to her for days, and I'm sure I've shouted "unfair" a hundred times.

Finally, I got really angry. I stopped touching my cousin's genitals and stopped French kissing her. No matter how much she begged, scolded, ordered, or tempted me, I ignored her. We argued for days, and our caressing games were interrupted for several days. My cousin couldn't take it anymore and finally half-surrendered and proposed a deal—I would lick her genitals in exchange for her licking my body.

My cousin was curious about whether it felt good to be licked down there, so she made this deal, and I readily agreed. Later, when I caressed and licked her body, I licked downwards, finally reaching her inner thighs. I smelled the love juice flowing from her tight vagina, but the fishy smell emanating from it made it impossible for me to continue licking.

Actually, the smell wasn't strong; it was a faint, unpleasant odor. Although I found it somewhat disgusting, somehow I particularly liked it. The female hormone scent emanating from her vagina both repulsed and fascinated me.

It was like the smell of durian—it's clearly a foul odor, but somehow it also has a strangely pleasant aroma, making it both repulsive and appealing.

I buried my face in my cousin's thighs, hesitating for a long time. My nose was filled with the smell of her sweat, body odor, and vagina. I watched the love juice flowing out of her tight vagina, but I still didn't dare to lick it until the very end.

The game suddenly stopped, leaving my cousin's pleasure hanging in the air. She kept begging me to continue licking her, but I still didn't dare. I retorted, "You have to kiss my little cock too!"

My cousin stubbornly replied, "Okay!"

My cousin got up and grasped my small but firm little cock, stroking it while sticking out her tongue to lick it. But as soon as her face got close, she immediately pulled back. I guessed she must have smelled something, and she hesitated for a while before licking it.

I said angrily, "See! You still don't dare to kiss it for me!"

My cousin had nothing to say. That day, our caresses only went halfway before stopping. This was the first time my cousin didn't help me ejaculate, and I didn't help her reach orgasm.

Later, our caressing games included "French kissing" and "body licking," but my cousin still refused to lick me, especially after I graduated from elementary school and entered junior high. My genitals started growing hair, and my penis gradually grew larger.

My cousin used to think my penis was "cute" and "fun," but now she says it's "ugly and scary," which makes me very indignant. I'm different from her. When I first saw her genitals, she already had hair. At that time, I thought female genitals were ugly, and that male penises looked better when they were bald.

(Back then I was young and didn't know how to appreciate the beauty of a girl's genitals. Now I know how to appreciate it better, haha.)

We caressed each other hundreds of times. My cousin always wanted to try what it felt like to have her genitals licked, but I always refused. Later, I don't know if it was when I was in the first or second year of junior high school, my cousin suddenly suggested that we take a shower together. She wanted to lick each other after showering because she thought it would be cleaner.

I asked, "I get just as clean when I shower, so why don't you dare kiss me?"

My cousin said, "No way! You guys smell bad and sweat a lot. You only shower for five minutes each time, how can you get clean?"

To be honest, I really think my cousin is biased. Her body gets hotter and sweats more than mine. Every time I lick her, I taste a slightly sour and salty flavor on my tongue—that's her sweat.

But I couldn't win against my cousin. She felt that she was cleaner when she helped me shower, so she felt more comfortable licking my body. So we decided to shower together.

Although we've been caressing each other for a year or two, her tight petals have begun to open slightly, and her pubic hair has become thicker, while my bald little penis has become an ugly phallus, also covered in abundant stray hairs. However, we've never seen each other's naked bodies. We almost always caress and kiss at night, hiding in bed.

I only peeked at my cousin taking a shower when I was in elementary school, and haven't seen her naked body for a year or two since. This time, we're going to meet naked, and we're both very nervous. We stare at each other in the small bathroom, neither of us daring to take off our clothes first.

My cousin said, "Xiaoyu, why aren't you taking off your clothes yet?"

I said, "You take them off first, then I'll take them off!"

My cousin looked at my genitals and said, "I've already seen your little penis, what's there to be shy about?"

I retorted, "Aren't you the same? I've already seen your genitals too, and we almost kissed, but you're still too scared to take them off!"

My cousin was a little embarrassed and angry, and ordered me to take off all my clothes, or she wouldn't lick my body. Although I was shy, I really wanted to be licked, so I boldly took off all my clothes.

My cousin watched as my penis broke through the thicket of hair, pointing straight to the sky. She wrapped her arms around my waist, stroking it back and forth with her hand while whispering in my ear, "You're so excited, why are you pretending to be shy? You're such a little devil!"

My penis was stimulated, and my lust intensified. I urged my cousin to take off her clothes quickly, but she hesitated for a long time before starting. Watching her undress and unhook her bra, I finally understood that women's bras are unhooked from behind. My cousin never wore a bra when we made love in bed, so it wasn't until now that I learned how to help a woman take off her bra.

My cousin was voluptuous, a little overweight. At the time, she probably weighed around 40 kilograms (I forget her height). I kept staring at her large breasts, but she always covered them with her hands, refusing to let go.

She always disliked me staring at her chest. Her reason was that the boys in her class often secretly stared at her, especially during PE class when they were running. Those sleazy boys would point at her chest and laugh. So, she often pretended to be sick during PE class, saying she had her period or an upset stomach.

Actually, she was very healthy; she never had stomach pains. In fact, her libido was particularly high during her period, and she would ask me to caress her three or four times a day. But I was the opposite; I hated touching her during her period because it would leave my hands covered in blood, and the smell was terrible, especially the bloodstains on the bed—they were incredibly difficult to wash off! It meant that every time she had her period, we had to spend all our allowance to buy a huge pile of towels to put on the bed.

My cousin said, "Turn around, I'll wash your back." I obediently turned around and felt a pair of hands lathering soap on the back of my neck and back. After a while, my cousin hugged me, her chest pressed against my back, and reached forward to lather soap on my chest and abdomen.

No wonder my cousin said that boys are very casual when they shower. I can shower in five minutes by myself, but she probably spent half an hour washing me. There really is a difference between how girls and boys shower!

My cousin was extremely meticulous, carefully washing me from my neck to my thighs, especially my penis. Perhaps she was worried it would smell bad when I licked it later, so she washed it for a particularly long time, almost making me ejaculate...

While she was washing me, I wasn't idle either; I touched her body to my heart's content. However, when I washed her armpits, she clenched them tightly. My cousin felt embarrassed that her armpit hair was being seen by a boy, and no matter how much I begged her, she refused to show me her armpits.

(I still don't understand what's so embarrassing about this? I've seen and touched every inch of her skin, but she still won't let me see her armpits = =;; Women's thoughts are sometimes really hard to understand.)

We've been showering for about an hour. After we finished showering and got dressed, I secretly opened the bathroom door to make sure that Dad still hadn't come home, and then I took my cousin's hand and we went to bed.

Back in the room, we began a passionate kiss and caresses. As usual, I licked every inch of my cousin's skin. Perhaps because she had just showered, her body was burning hot, and I felt my face flushed too. This time, licking her body, I could smell a wonderful fragrance, unlike before when it had a slightly sour and salty taste. However, my cousin sweats quite easily, and when I licked her inner thighs, I could still smell sweat.

Fortunately, this time she had a strong soapy scent, making the sweat and vaginal odor much fainter. This time, I didn't find it disgusting at all; in fact, I found it quite pleasant. As I licked her inner thighs and groin, my cousin's moans grew louder, as if encouraging me to lick longer.

But when I licked my cousin's labia, she took a deep breath and fell silent. I looked up at her; her eyes were tightly closed, her brows slightly furrowed, and her mouth slightly open. After a while, she opened her eyes and said, "Why did you stop? Keep going!"

I asked curiously, "Does it feel good to kiss here?"

My cousin blushed and said, "I'll kiss you next time, then you'll know."

Hearing that my cousin was finally willing to lick my body, and possibly even my penis, I happily continued to lick her labia. With each lick, my cousin's moans grew louder. I suddenly noticed that her labia were slightly looser than before, revealing her vulva slightly, but it was still very tight. I curiously stuck my finger in, but I could only insert half a knuckle before I couldn't go any further. When I pulled my hand back, I saw that the first knuckle of my index finger was covered with my cousin's love juice, and the love juice was very thick, even with strands of it, all the way to her vulva.

At that time, my cousin's sexual organs were not fully developed, and her clitoris was not very obvious. So I only focused on licking her labia and playing with her vulva with my fingers. I was really into it and kept gently pinching her vulva to see how much lubrication would flow out. The more I pinched, the more lubrication she produced, as if it would never run out.

My cousin's moans grew louder and louder. I was a little worried that if my father suddenly came home, he would definitely hear her moans! But at that time, I was very sexually aroused. Although I was a little scared, I continued to play with her vulva. Suddenly, my cousin screamed loudly, grabbed my hair with both hands, and squeezed my head tightly between her thighs, making it hard for me to breathe.

My cousin's body convulsed and vibrated, the sensation reaching my head. I felt her thighs trembling violently, and it took several seconds before she released my head. I lifted my head and gasped for breath, feeling my face was completely wet below my nose. She had pressed my head down so hard that my face was covered in her love juice.

Although we had made love hundreds of times, I rarely saw my cousin climax. Her stamina was always better than mine. Every time we made love, I would ejaculate first, while she would take a long time to climax. Sometimes, after I ejaculated, I would be tired and want to sleep, but she would still be holding my hand and stroking me. So, I didn't always see her climax.

I can only guarantee she'll have an orgasm when she's menstruating, because her libido is especially strong during that time, and she'll ask for caresses many times. But I only ejaculate once or twice before my libido wanes. Although I still get an erection when my cousin caresses my penis, it feels numb.

My cousin had an orgasm, but my penis was still painfully swollen! I lay on the bed, pushing my cousin's body, and said, "Sister, it's your turn to kiss me."

My cousin's voice was hoarse, and she said weakly, "Xiaoyu, I have no strength left..."

I urged my cousin, and she tried to sit up, but she was too weak and collapsed against my chest halfway up.

My cousin said coquettishly, "I'm too weak... Xiaoyu, let me rest for a while, okay?" She kissed me and snuggled up beside me.

My penis was still erect. I wanted to insist that she get up and lick me, but I also felt sorry for her being so tired. It was the first time I had seen her so weak and powerless. That's when I realized how deep my feelings for her were, so I didn't force her and instead suppressed my lust.

I gently stroked her back and talked to her until she fell asleep. After she fell asleep, I masturbated while looking at her face and ejaculated on her thigh. This was the first time I had ever ejaculated through masturbation. Afterward, I felt a strange emptiness...

I realized that I had fallen for her.

At that moment, I already knew that my feelings for her were not "love."

However, I also know that my feelings for her are not just "like." This inexplicable emotion, even now, I still don't know how to describe it.

[Eighth Diary Entry]: More decadent sex, more intense feelings...

Well, I welcome all netizens who message me wanting to discuss sex knowledge, sex techniques, or simply want to talk about love. But if you ask me how to find casual sex partners, I can't help you with that. Sometimes, besides personal charm, it also depends on chance. Although I've had many casual sex partners, there have been times of failure, and times when I went almost a year without a sexual partner. These things are hard to explain; it depends on fate. For example, I lack personal charm, so I've never had a romantic relationship and haven't been able to find a girlfriend, but I have a lot of romantic luck and have had many sexual partners.

Enough with the chit-chat, let's get back to my story with my cousin. At first, it was just the two of us kids enjoying physical pleasure. But ever since I realized I liked my cousin, my expressions and actions towards her became very gentle. My cousin didn't notice; she was simply engrossed in the game of caressing. But my aunt and uncle were different. After all, they were adults, and they immediately realized I liked my cousin.

My older cousin started staying at my house frequently after I was in sixth grade. My aunt and uncle felt sorry for my mother who had passed away early and my father who often gambled and drank, sometimes not coming home for days at a time. So they encouraged her to take care of me. However, as time went on, they realized that my cousin stayed at our house far more often than she came home. My aunt felt that this couldn't go on, so they discussed taking me in with them, seemingly intending to adopt me.

I wasn't too keen on moving in. With adults and my younger cousin at home, the chances of us being affectionate would be lower, and it would be even harder to take a bath with my older cousin. But no matter how unwilling I was, I couldn't find a reason to refuse, so I obediently moved in. After living with me for only a few days, my aunt and uncle discovered that I had fallen for my cousin (I was being too obvious). Although they thought I was falling in love too early, they didn't stop me from liking her since we weren't related by blood. They just repeatedly hinted that I should "date when I'm in college" and that "it's too early for a middle school student to date," subtly encouraging me to focus on my studies.

After moving in with my cousin, I suffered greatly—my cousin was completely oblivious to my feelings, our intimate moments were forced to decrease, we couldn't shower together anymore, and she repeatedly refused my attempts to penetrate her (though she sometimes couldn't resist, and sometimes I was the one who refused). I transferred all this pain to my body, and we engaged in more and more depraved sexual practices.

There are some methods that most people can't accept. I've tried suggesting them to other sexual partners, but they usually just stare wide-eyed and reject me in disbelief... Only my cousin and I are completely absorbed in these methods.

For example, we've evolved "French kissing" into "muddy French kissing."

One day, unusually, no one was home except my cousin and me. Halfway through my meal, I suddenly had a wicked thought. I mashed the food in my mouth into a pulp, then pretended that my mouth was empty and tried to kiss my cousin. When my cousin saw me suddenly hug her, she instinctively offered her mouth. When she was French kissing me, she suddenly realized that there was something in my mouth and struggled a little, but I held her hand firmly and straddled her. She couldn't move at all and had no choice but to accept the food that I forced into her mouth with my tongue.

I pulled my tongue back and commanded her, "Eat it! Don't spit it out!"

From the past until now, all our playful interactions—caresses, baths, physical kisses (later she even dared to kiss my whole body)—have always been my cousin's command, and I've always obediently followed. This time, when I suddenly commanded her, she was a little angry, but more surprised. She initially wanted to spit it out, but seeing my half-pleading, half-commanding expression, she hesitated for a moment, and then actually swallowed it!

After swallowing, my cousin opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue, which slightly curled up halfway, with a little food residue still on it, as if to show that she had really eaten it. Then she turned around and commanded me, "See, I ate it, now it's your turn!"

I was shocked and fell to the ground in fright. I didn't expect my cousin to be so daring, not only swallowing the food I had bitten, but also trying to feed me! I sat frozen on the floor, watching my cousin excitedly select dishes from the table and then feed them to her. She took a couple of bites, then used her chopsticks to put a small mouthful of rice into her mouth, chewing while giving me a wicked grin.

I was completely stunned, forgetting to run away, and watched as my cousin pushed me down, pinning me to the ground and turning her head towards me. My immediate thought was to keep my mouth tightly shut, never to open it, but having kissed so many times, I instinctively opened my mouth and stuck out my tongue… She fed me the food from her mouth, and I instantly felt like vomiting! I now realized that no matter how delicious the food, once someone else has chewed it into bits and pieces, the feeling of holding it in your mouth is absolutely disgusting!

After my cousin put that lump of scum into my mouth, she didn't let me off the hook. She kept stirring my tongue and the scum together with her tongue. I felt disgusted but also comfortable. She made my mouth full of a mixture of their saliva and scum. There were food residues on both sides of my teeth.

My cousin's smile was as radiant as an angel's, but her words were as terrifying as a demon's whisper: "My darling Xiaoyu, I just swallowed it as you told me to! If you spit it out..." My cousin thought for a moment, looked at the dishes on the table, and said, "I'll feed you all the leftovers on that table like this!"

I was completely dumbfounded. I forced myself to swallow it, but as soon as it went down, I felt nauseous and almost vomited. My throat was filled with the sour smell of stomach acid.

Seeing that I was obedient, my cousin smiled smugly and said, "Hmph! Let's see if you dare to order me around again!"

I reflexively retorted, "Sure, what's there to be afraid of!"

My cousin looked at me with a sarcastic expression and raised her voice, "Oh? Then I'll feed you again!"

I was actually quite scared and wanted to admit defeat, but after all, I was still a junior high school kid and too impulsive. I actually retorted again, "Fine, I'll feed you then, who's afraid of who!"

Then, we ate that meal for almost two hours. We were like arguing and bickering. Each of us had a mouthful of food in our mouths, and we tried to pick the food that the other hated the most. After chewing it into a pulp in our mouths, we fed it to each other while French kissing. At first, we both felt disgusted, our brows furrowed and our faces contorted in pain. But somehow, despite how disgusting it was, we gradually became addicted after feeding each other a dozen or so bites.

You might find it hard to imagine, but you'll know once you try it. When you watch your partner mash up delicious food, and then you put it in your mouth, you'll first feel three sensations: "wet," "soft," and "salty." That's your partner's saliva mixed with the food paste. Then, during a French kiss, it's constantly being stirred in both of your mouths. Besides feeling the tingling sensation of your tongue rubbing against your partner's, you'll also feel the paste-like foreign objects flowing around in your mouth. Some get stuck in the gaps between your teeth, some stick to the base of your tongue, and some are stuck at the junction of your front teeth and lips. You'll experience a very disgusting, very strange, and very exciting feeling.

When you see the mouth, tongue, teeth, lips, and corners of your mouth of the person you like covered in food scraps you handed her, and even some saliva and grime dribbling from the corners of her mouth, you feel a sense of conquest. This sense of conquest is even stronger when you see her enjoying the pleasure of French kissing, yet also feeling disgusted and frowning, looking like she's about to vomit but also enjoying it—that coy, hesitant expression!

After my cousin and I discovered the new game of "muddy tongue kissing," it was a bit disgusting, but it also excited us immensely. We tried everything edible—desserts, ice cream, cookies, drinks, food, fruit, and more. We even tried mixing sweet and salty foods, with one person holding food in their mouth while the other held ice. In the end, we even tried things that shouldn't be eaten—toothpaste, semen, and vaginal fluid.

We would put toothpaste on each other's teeth and then "brush" them with our tongues! However, after brushing... my whole tongue felt cool and spicy, which was a bit uncomfortable, so I wouldn't recommend anyone try it = =

As for semen, although she had eaten it before, and I had eaten her vaginal fluid, we had never eaten our own before. At first, it was quite difficult to overcome our mental barrier, it was really hard to accept, but in the end we still dared to try it. She had the semen I had just ejaculated in her mouth, and I had the vaginal fluid flowing out of her vagina in my mouth. We mixed it with our tongues in our mouths for a long time before swallowing it together.

(The psychological impact of eating one's own semen is very strong, please use with caution.)

Although our games decreased after I moved into their house, they became increasingly decadent. My feelings for my cousin also deepened. My cousin wasn't oblivious; although she didn't realize it at first, she only found out I liked her when I threw a tantrum after she got her first boyfriend in high school.

My cousin wasn't completely indifferent to me either; she also had a strange feeling for me. So, even while she was dating, she continued our caressing games. When I was pursuing other girls, she would act as my strategist and give me advice. This strange relationship led us to develop a unique personality trait—"not easily jealous."

When couples are dating, if a guy stares at a girl wearing a short skirt or something that's revealing, the girl will usually get angry. But my cousin would accompany her husband in admiring such women, even discussing their thighs, breasts, and faces with him. When other girls were on the phone with her husband, she rarely questioned them like a typical girl would.

I treated my ex-girlfriends the same way. However, my cousin was much luckier than me. Most men would rather have a girlfriend like my cousin, but women certainly wouldn't want a boyfriend like me… So my previous girlfriends all got really angry about this, thinking I didn't love them enough. Otherwise, why could I so casually talk to them about how handsome or well-built other men are… Sigh!

I seem to have gone off-topic, straying a bit from the topic of "sex"...

Oh well, I'm tired of writing today. I'll write about my other, more decadent caressing games with my cousin another day.

Hello everyone, I'm an ordinary person, an ordinary man, but I've had extraordinary experiences with women. These are secrets I can't share with friends, so I write a diary online, recording my true experiences. These experiences are real, so they won't be as blood-pumping as those in erotic novels, but they are more real and vivid.

Note 1: To protect the individuals involved, names and occupations have been altered. Note 2: This is a true story, and I have obtained permission from the moderator, Xiaohuan, to share my past here.

I didn't believe in fate, but now I'm gradually starting to believe. My name is Xiaoyu, I'm thirty years old. Although I've had three girlfriends, none of them lasted more than six months. However, I've had sex with dozens of women! I've always longed to find true love, to date and marry a woman, and grow old together, but fate seems to have no affinity for love or marriage, while I often have romantic encounters involving intimate physical contact.

Of the women I've had sex with, three are my girlfriends, one is my cousin (not related by blood), and the others are long-term sexual partners, one-night stands, escorts, prostitutes, etc. The vast majority are Taiwanese, but there are also foreigners from mainland China, Vietnam, and the Philippines.

I'm of average appearance and build, with no career achievements, no wealth, and neither good looks nor substance. A man like me has almost no appeal to women, so I often worry about not being able to find a girlfriend.

However, I possess an advantage that most men lack—gentleness and attentiveness. Therefore, in matters of sex, I have an irresistible charm that women find hard to resist, making them crave my caresses again and again, like an addiction to delicious food. [Second Diary Entry] Xiaoyu's Sex Diary: Peeping in the Bathroom

Every man has had the experience of peeping and sexual fantasies, and I was no exception. Most men's peeping targets are their mothers or sisters, but I come from a single-parent family and live with my father. Therefore, my first peeping target was my cousin, who is not related to me by blood.

My aunt and uncle couldn't have children, so they adopted a daughter and a son, my cousin and her brother. I was twelve years old then, in sixth grade. My older cousin was a year older than me, and my younger cousin was two years younger. They stayed at our house for a week during the Spring Festival, and my cousin and I enjoyed a week of eye candy.

Our house was an old apartment, and the vent below the bathroom door was an old-fashioned design. You could peek inside through the gaps in the blades, but the blades were angled downwards, so you couldn't see much. One day, I had a bright idea. I removed the vent and installed it upside down. I could lie on the floor and peek from below into the bathroom, and the view inside was completely exposed.

When my cousin took a shower at our house for the first time, I was extremely nervous. It was the first time in my life that I had done something illegal, and it was also the first time I had ever peeped. My heart was pounding so hard it felt like it was going to jump out of my mouth. My whole body was trembling with nervousness, and my hands and feet felt weak and sore. I first lay on my back on the floor, and the cold tiles made my body tremble even more. My teeth chattered and made a faint sound.

As I lay down, I peeked through the vent slats and saw my older cousin undressing. Although she was only in the first year of junior high, she was much more developed than me, more than ten centimeters taller, and had very large breasts. At the time, I didn't know how to tell bra sizes, but I knew that when my cousin bent over to take off her underwear, her beautiful breasts hanging down made my blood boil and my lower body feel uncomfortable.

I was young then, ignorant about sex, and didn't know how to appreciate the beauty of a woman's body parts. I was only focused on peeking at her breasts. At that time, I thought that only a woman's breasts were beautiful, and other parts such as her buttocks, thighs, and vagina were not worth appreciating. I even foolishly thought that a woman's genitals were flat, unaware that a woman has a vagina and a uterus. Nearly twenty years ago, sex education courses in elementary and junior high schools were not well-developed. Female teachers would skip this chapter out of shyness and would not explain the male and female sexual organs in detail. Moreover, computers and the Internet were not widespread at that time. The only way to watch porn was through the Rainbow Channel on TV. The porn shown was also censored. Although I saw the male actor changing various positions and vigorously having sex with the female actor, I could not tell whether the woman's genitals had an opening. So I naively thought that men just used their penises to rub against the woman's flat genitals and did not know that the woman's genitals had an opening for penetration.

My cousin has a full, curvy figure, but she's not obese. I always thought she had big breasts, but I didn't expect her buttocks to be so pert when she was naked. I focused my gaze on her chest, but she always had her back to the bathroom door, so I rarely saw her nipples. However, this made me less nervous; I didn't have to worry about her noticing me peeping.

My cousin's voluptuous naked body made my penis painfully hard. As a sixth-grader, I was still quite innocent and had no experience with ejaculation, let alone how to masturbate. I just acted on instinct, rubbing my penis back and forth through my pants.

For three or four days in a row, I spied on my cousin taking a shower. Later, my two siblings and I got into an argument while playing games. I secretly pulled my brother aside and told him that we would get revenge on her by spying on her while she was showering that night. So I had another comrade to lie down and spy on her with, and he was only eleven years old. However, because he was too young, he couldn't control his nervousness. When he was talking to me about my cousin's figure, he accidentally raised his voice. My cousin, who was showering, turned around and saw that we two kids were spying on her. She was so angry that she splashed water on us. My cousin and I ran away with screams.

At that time, the three of us were clueless about "sex" and "privacy." Although my cousin was angry, it was just like children arguing and throwing a tantrum while playing games, not anger at being violated. Since we were discovered, my cousin and I simply started peeping "openly." We were still lying on the floor peeping, but we were also loudly discussing my cousin's figure. My cousin was both annoyed and amused. She tried to cover the vent with a washboard, a bucket, and other things to stop us from peeping. That's how the three of us siblings began our bathroom peeping battle during the rest of our annual leave.

On the last afternoon, my cousin was playing video games in the living room while I was taking a nap in my room. Suddenly, I felt someone touching my body. I was very sleepy and didn't want to pay attention to him, but the person kept touching my legs, which made me feel itchy. I opened my eyes groggily and saw my cousin sitting on the edge of the bed with her face flushed.

I said, "I want to sleep, don't bother me..."

My cousin stammered, "Then, then go to sleep!"

I closed my eyes, trying to fall back asleep, but after a while I felt my cousin touching my waist again. I opened my eyes and glared at her: "Stop touching me, it's annoying!"

My cousin paused for a while without saying anything, then suddenly said, "I'm going to tell your dad you peeked at me while I was showering!"

This startled me awake. I had thought it was just a game we kids played, and I vaguely felt that peeping was wrong, but I couldn't quite put my finger on why. I only knew that if my dad found out, I would definitely be beaten to death!

I was so nervous I almost cried: "Please don't say it, okay? Daddy will beat me!"

My cousin actually smiled happily and said, "Then you have to listen to me, and I won't say it."

I readily agreed, swearing I would listen to her no matter what. My cousin's face turned even redder, and she stammered, "Then...then...can I see your little penis?"

I was startled and quickly said no, but my cousin suddenly became bold and said, "You've been peeping at my body for so many days, and you don't even want to see it once? Then I'm going to tell your dad!"

I was so nervous I didn't know what to do. Suddenly, I made up my mind, stood on the bed, and pulled down my pants and underwear, revealing my little penis. At that time, I was only in sixth grade, and I hadn't fully developed yet. There wasn't a single hair on it, just a bald patch.

I'm much shorter than my cousin, but because I was standing on the bed, my penis was right in front of her eyes. She stared wide-eyed at my penis, her mouth agape in astonishment. I guess it was the first time she'd ever seen a male genital.

My cousin stammered, "I...I...can I...touch it?"

I innocently replied, "Don't be too rough!"

She gently tapped and touched it with her index finger, stimulating my penis, which gradually swelled. Seeing my erection, she wasn't scared at all; instead, she laughed and said, "So cute!"

I retorted, "That's not fair! I can only see your body, but you can touch my penis! I want to touch yours too!" My eyes were fixed on my cousin's breasts. I'd wanted to touch her breasts for a long time, but I'd never had the courage. Now I finally had the chance.

My cousin hesitated for a moment, then suddenly stood up and took off her pants and underwear. I was going to say, "I wanted to touch your breasts, why are you taking your pants off?" But when I looked at the tuft of pubic hair growing on her genitals, my mouth dropped open, and I was speechless with shock.

I had never known that girls had pubic hair! (Those damned mosaics in porn misled my innocent teenage self.)

When I peeped, I only stared at her breasts and never looked at my cousin's genitals, so even after watching her shower for so many days, I still didn't know what her genitals looked like.

My cousin lay on the bed, her face flushed, legs spread wide, and said, "Didn't you want to touch it?"

I swallowed hard and brought my face close to my cousin's genitals. I then noticed that besides the hair growing there, there was a strange little slit, and fluid was constantly flowing out. This was the first time in my life that I had ever seen a woman's genitals. I was so shocked that I couldn't speak. I just thought that a woman's genitals were so ugly. When I watched porn before, I thought that a woman's genitals were flat, but now I knew that there was a vulva.

I reached out and touched her labia, feeling the sticky, wet fluid. It was indescribably disgusting. I brought it to my nose and smelled a strange, strong, fishy odor that made me want to vomit. But for some reason, I felt my whole body burning, my heart pounding as if it would jump out of my mouth. I felt extremely excited and continued to stroke my cousin's labia.

At that time, I was only in sixth grade and didn't know that a woman's vagina could be penetrated. I only saw that my cousin's labia were tight, and I could hardly tell that there was a "hole" where a finger could be inserted. So, no matter how much I touched her, I never thought of inserting my finger inside.

However, my cousin was clearly more excited than I was. Her face was flushed, she was panting, and her body was trembling slightly. She watched as my swollen penis continued to throb, as if trying to grow bigger, but the size was limited. Suddenly, she said, "I want to touch yours too!"

At that moment, I couldn't think straight. I just listened to my cousin and moved closer to her so she could touch my penis. Suddenly, she started stroking it. I felt pain, but also extreme pleasure, indescribably wonderful! I looked down and saw that she had slightly retracted my foreskin, revealing a tiny bit of my glans. It was the first time I'd ever seen my own glans, and I was incredibly curious. My cousin was just as curious as I was, and she gently touched my glans with her hand. I cried out, "Ah!"

My cousin asked anxiously, "Does it hurt?"

I replied, "A little, but it feels so good... Oh! Don't stop!" This wonderful feeling was irresistible; my body swayed back and forth, yearning for her to continue stroking my penis.

My cousin stroked my penis with one hand while touching her own clitoris. At that time, I couldn't distinguish between the small fleshy ball of the clitoris and the two thin fleshy parts of the labia; I only knew that she was stroking me while giving me a handjob.

We huddled together, panting, our breathing growing louder and louder. I felt waves of pleasure surging through my body. Suddenly, I yelled, "I need to pee!" My cousin was startled when she heard me say I needed to pee. Afraid I would pee on her, she pinched my penis tightly and commanded, "Don't pee! Go to the toilet!"

I desperately clenched my penis, trying to resist the urge, but the urge was irresistible, constantly stimulating my penis. I closed my eyes and said: "I can't take it anymore, I'm about to pee!"

My cousin was terrified. "Don't pee, don't pee!" She stopped masturbating and pinched my penis tightly with both hands. It hurt, but I still couldn't stop the urge to pee. Suddenly, I ejaculated white "pee," which landed on her hands and clothes. My cousin screamed, and I screamed too. My whole body trembled, my mind went blank, as if I had fallen into heaven. My penis twitched and throbbed incessantly!

My cousin, being a middle school student, knew more about sex than I did. She knew this was "ejaculation," not "peeing." She breathed a sigh of relief and said, "You lied to me and said it was peeing!" I gasped for breath, unable to answer.

Later, my cousin told me that it was ejaculation, not peeing. Although I often secretly watched porn on Channel 4 back then and masturbated through my pants, this was my first time ejaculating. The feeling was so incredibly pleasurable that I became inseparable from sex, and even now, more than a decade later, I still frequently have sex with women.

Later, when my older cousin and her younger cousin lived with us, I often slept with my older cousin in my arms. Adults thought we had a good relationship, and they assumed my older cousin doted on me more than her brother. Little did they know that when we slept in each other's arms at night, we were actually caressing each other, not just sleeping.

This caressing continued for many years, even after she went to high school and got a boyfriend. She would still often sneak over to caress and shower with me. However, we never had sex. Although my cousin was adopted by my uncle and we weren't actually related by blood, deep down we still felt it was wrong, so we never dared to cross that final line.

During those years, there were a few times when we caressed each other or showered, I begged my cousin to let me penetrate her. There were also a few times when she got so excited she lost her senses and begged me to penetrate her. But in the end, we both held onto that final line and didn't actually penetrate her; at most, we just rubbed my penis against her clitoris.

We showered and caressed each other for several years, and she remained a virgin, as did I. Our caresses gradually decreased after she moved to a distant university, and eventually, we stopped mentioning it and made it our most precious secret. Looking back now, many years later, I truly admire our willpower—we managed to abstain from sex for so many years!

However, after so many caresses, she had long lost her hymen. Fortunately, we always refrained from actual intercourse, only enjoying the physical pleasure of caresses; otherwise, I would truly feel guilty towards my cousin's current husband! Now, my cousin and I have never crossed any lines; we respect and love each other, but never transgress. My cousin told me during a chat after she got married that her husband wasn't satisfying her, but we were just chatting; she wasn't implying I wanted to rekindle our relationship.

Over the years, she's never mentioned intimacy with me again, and neither have I. Although occasionally I dream of those wonderful days we spent together, and I suspect she's also recalled the days I helped her with intimacy, we're both adults now, no longer impulsive teenagers. Our transgressions will never happen again. Those beautiful memories of my youth can only be shared online with complete strangers.

[Third Diary Entry] Xiaoyu's Sex Diary: Public Sex

When I was twenty-five, I started playing online games and met several female netizens. I successfully arranged to meet three of them. Later, one of them became my second girlfriend, and another became my first sexual partner.

Meeting new girls online is actually very easy, much easier than meeting new women in real life. However, arranging a date is not so simple. Girls are very wary of strange men. Although they are more likely to open up to you because you've never met them, even about the most private things, it's incredibly difficult to ask them out.

If you want to ask female netizens out, you need to have sufficient attraction—even if it's virtual attraction online.

Back then, I was the guild leader of an online game and a big spender on virtual items. I spent NTD every day buying virtual treasures and also gave some to my guild members. In the eyes of my guildmates, I was a wealthy and caring top player.

(I did some equipment trading at the time, so I didn't actually spend much money on the game; in fact, I made a small profit in NTD.)

This attraction led me to my second girlfriend and my first sexual partner. Today's sex diary is about my sexual story with my partner, "Meow Meow."

My sexual partner has a cute name, "Meow Meow." It sounds adorable, but she's actually a 36-year-old mature woman, a full 11 years older than me at 25!

She has a great figure and is also a female doctor, much better off financially than I was when I first entered the workforce. The only downside is that she's not very pretty, just average-to-be-good-looking. But I don't care about her looks. Sex partners are all the same in the dark, and her figure is far more important than her face, haha!

Meow Meow's ex-boyfriend was married, and she was his mistress for five years, but in the end, he chose his family and left her. Later, she became addicted to online games, which is how she met me, the guild leader. Although she wasn't beautiful and was a mature woman, thanks to the years, she possessed extremely high sexual skills. On the first day we made love, the foreplay she gave me made me feel like I was in heaven, dreamlike and intoxicated. After making love with her, I finally understood what an "orgasm" was. I realized that a man's "ejaculation" is not the same as an "orgasm," and the feeling of an "orgasm" is a hundred times more pleasurable than "just ejaculation"!

Not only was her sexual skill superb, but her body was also extremely sensitive!

Whenever she orgasmed, her vagina would quickly contract, gripping my penis tightly, as tightly and continuously as a virgin's. When she first orgasmed, I thought she was faking it. Some women fake orgasms to satisfy a man's vanity or to end things quickly. Besides, her vagina was so tight that I couldn't move at all as I thrust in. I couldn't insert my penis any further or pull it out; I was completely immobilized. This orgasm was so exaggerated that I suspected she had deliberately trained her vagina to grip things tightly. This orgasm was just acting!

But after having sex with her more than ten times over several days, one day I suddenly realized that she wasn't acting; it was a real orgasm! Because when she orgasmed, her neck and chest would turn completely red, looking like a rash from being drunk, and it would gradually fade away after three or four minutes. A woman's expressions can be acted, and the strength of her vaginal muscles can be trained, but whether her skin turns red is not something she can consciously control!

Her sexual skills were superb; she was my mentor in foreplay, teaching me how to be gentle with women, about a woman's true erogenous zones, and how to bring a woman pleasure. After being her sexual partner for six months, I gradually surpassed her, understanding women's sensitive areas even better than her, and I began to feel tired of having sex with her.

One day, I suggested making love outdoors. Miao Miao, who was always unwilling to accept that my skills were gradually becoming better than hers, and being a strong woman, wanted to regain control of the sex life, readily agreed.

At that time, I was working in a rented apartment. For our first outdoor sex, we chose the back balcony. The back balcony had no cover, only iron railings, a washing machine, and a dryer. The neighbors across the street could see us half-naked making love just by looking out the window. Moreover, neighbors from other apartments could open their doors and come out at any time. This tension made us both tremble slightly. For convenience, she wore a denim miniskirt without underwear. During foreplay, her vaginal fluid flowed down her thighs, and a few drops even dripped onto the floor.

Meow Meow was terrified that a neighbor might be out, but out of a competitive spirit, she kept trying to take the initiative and French kiss me. She stroked my back with one hand and reached into my pants with the other, stroking my penis. But since we were embracing, I realized she wasn't as natural as she seemed; she was actually very scared, her body trembling violently!

I was nervous too, but much better than her. We usually do half an hour of foreplay, but this time, perhaps due to the novelty and nervousness, we only did five minutes of foreplay before her vagina became incredibly wet. Not only were my hands and her thighs wet, but the floor was also soaked. This excitement made me unable to restrain myself any longer. I lifted her buttocks and made her sit on the dryer. Her denim miniskirt couldn't cover her soaking wet vulva at all. I took out my penis and inserted it into her vagina. She let out a squeal and moaned twice, then immediately remembered that we were outside and someone might see us having sex half-naked at any time, so she quickly shut her mouth.

I loved hearing her moans; her voice was loud but natural and unpretentious. Seeing her shut her mouth now made me feel uneasy, so I abandoned my usual gentlemanly demeanor and instead of slowing down my thrusts, I thrust hard and forcefully, the dryer making a slight clattering sound as it shook. Meow felt a pleasurable sensation and couldn't help but pant, but she was still afraid of being seen and tried her best to keep her mouth shut.

I was also afraid of being seen, but I was unwilling to give up and not conquer her. I suddenly picked her up and made her lie face down on the balcony so I could have more force and speed with her. I put my hands inside her t-shirt, squeezing her breasts tightly, and thrust hard with my waist. Because of the force of the impact between Meow's buttocks and my genitals, her whole body would shake with each thrust, and her tightly closed lips would briefly part, letting out a low moan. With each thrust, she would let out a "hmm". For a moment, the balcony was filled with the soft sounds of our genitals hitting each other and her "hmm...hmm...hmm...hmm..." moans.

She likes to moan loudly during sex, and I love hearing her moan too, but this kind of moaning, a desperate attempt to hold back, is even more beautiful and melodious. Suddenly, I felt my penis being tightly gripped by her vagina, and I realized she had orgasmed.

However, I was probably too nervous; although my erect penis proved I was still excited, I didn't feel like ejaculating at all. I held her with one arm and gently stroked her hair with the other, whispering in her ear from behind, "Meow Meow, are you feeling good?"

Meow Meow nodded weakly and answered me in a very soft voice, "I didn't expect it to feel so good to do it outside..."

But she had orgasmed, and I hadn't ejaculated yet! I then asked, "Shall we go somewhere else outside and continue making love?"

Meow Meow hesitated for a while before answering. I'm always gentle with women, and I wasn't in a hurry to hurt her. I just gently stroked her hair and abdomen. I felt her body was burning hot, and she seemed weak and listless. This tense and exciting feeling made her tremble violently for ten minutes. I guessed that she was very tired after her orgasm and wanted to ask to go back to the bed in the room to make love again.

After a while, Miao Miao replied softly, "Hmm... let's change then..." Actually, I already knew she would agree. Her strong-willed personality wouldn't allow her to beg for mercy. I helped her put her denim shorts back on, which were pulled down to her buttocks, and then put my penis in my pants. I took her hand and left the balcony, passing through five suites. We went through the main door and walked to the stairwell on the fifth floor.

Throughout the journey, she kept her head down, not daring to look up, afraid that someone would see her face. I, on the other hand, kept looking around to see if anyone was spying on us, but thankfully no one was watching, so it was a close call.

I rented a furnished suite in an old apartment building, with windows on each floor's stairwell, at chest height for an adult. I opened the window and looked at the street; there were two or three pedestrians walking by. Miao Miao was completely limp, letting me move her around as I pleased. I turned her over, leaning her against the window, with half her head sticking out. Miao Miao turned her head to look at the street, saw people, and realized we were on the third floor; the thrill instantly turned into fear.

Meow Meow was trembling as she asked me, "Xiaoyu, do we have to stay here? There are people outside!"

I asked her back, "So you want to go back to your room?"

Meow Meow's competitive nature kicked in again, and she said, "Let's stay here, it's pretty exciting anyway."

A woman's uterus will secrete a lot of fluid after she has just climaxed, but a woman's libido will cool down quickly after an orgasm, and her vagina will soon become dry and sticky. So I didn't rush to penetrate her, but instead started foreplay again, kissing her from French kiss down to her vulva. (I don't mind that I just penetrated her.)

Meow Meow grabbed my hair with both hands and pressed it forcefully inside, almost shoving my head into her denim miniskirt. She was nervous and scared, and her body was covered in sweat. I smelled the love juice mixed with sweat from her vagina, and the strong female hormones made me unable to hold back any longer. I stopped the foreplay and thrust my hips into her vagina again.

She hugged me tightly, while I twisted my hips and stole glances at the pedestrians on the street. Actually, I was also a little afraid that the pedestrians would look up at me. This time, it was my turn to feel fear. The fear, along with the pleasure in my lower body, quickly attacked my brain. I realized that this was not a good thing. If I continued like this, I would ejaculate in less than a minute, which would be too fast! A wicked thought crossed my mind. I turned Miaomiao around so she was looking at the people outside the window, then ripped her t-shirt. She was startled and accidentally screamed. Luckily, there was a lot of noise on the street, and no one looked up.

Miaomiao turned and glared at me: "What are you doing?"

I chuckled: "I'm doing you!"

Miaomiao bit my hand angrily, and I pulled my hand back in pain. Then I ripped her t-shirt again. She wasn't wearing a bra, and her entire breast was exposed. She quickly grabbed the torn fabric with her right hand to cover herself, while her left hand was still holding onto the windowsill. I wanted to tear her t-shirt completely in the middle, but I couldn't tear it completely; I could only tear it in half, so I had to give up.

Miaomiao was only holding onto the windowsill with one hand. She was afraid of heights and didn't dare to turn around and glare at me, but she didn't dare to let go of the fabric with the other hand, letting me do whatever I wanted. I kissed the back of her neck as I slowly thrust in and out, gradually increasing the speed. Although the street outside the window was noisy, I could hear Miao Miao's moans growing louder. I thought it was strange; wasn't she always afraid of being seen by others? I turned to look at her face and realized that she was so scared that she simply closed her eyes and wouldn't look.

I bet even though she kept her eyes closed, she was probably thinking shameful things like, "Someone must have seen us having sex," and "Someone's looking at my breasts." We only lasted a few minutes before she climaxed again, gripping my penis tightly. But I was really at my limit too. When she gripped me during her orgasm, I couldn't hold back any longer. I pulled out with all my might and then thrust back into her tight vagina.

Maybe because I was about to ejaculate, I used a lot of force. Before, when her vagina gripped me, I really couldn't go even half an inch deeper, but this time I couldn't hold back any longer. I used all my strength to thrust in and ejaculate. Although we've probably had sex over a hundred times, this was the first time we both orgasmed simultaneously. As I was ejaculating, I felt her vagina contracting wave after wave, as if it were sucking my semen away. My mind went blank, and I almost collapsed.

Afterwards, when we chatted, I always joked that she was a semen-sucking spider woman, while she laughed at me for being a pervert in a gentleman's guise.

(Because I'm very gentle with girls, she calls me a gentleman, but I always find ways to make girls do exciting and new sexual things, so she calls me a pervert. But not the violent kind of pervert; I never use violence against women.)

Later, we did it in more exciting public places, and a few times we almost got caught and were spied on, but we quickly hid. After doing it outdoors several times, the novelty and excitement wore off, and we went back to home or a hotel. After all, comfort is the most important thing.

[Fourth Diary Entry] Xiaoyu's Sex Diary: My First Virgin Experience

Maybe it's because I was born into a single-parent family. I don't have a mother, and my father was often violent towards me, which made me crave love from a young age. I developed romantic feelings early; starting in fifth grade, I began writing love letters to girls. But despite this early start, my personal qualities weren't appealing, so I was never able to get a girlfriend. I was always just seen as a "nice guy" or a "best friend." After repeated failures, I gradually lowered my standards, eventually becoming so desperate that I was indiscriminate in my choices.

I've mentioned before that I have a lot of luck with women; I've had sex with countless women. Although what I truly crave isn't sex, but simply love, I just can't seem to attract women, especially not marriage. I've almost never had a girlfriend throughout my life, and even though I desperately want to be in a relationship and get married, I just can't seem to find the right person.

When I was twenty-one, I finally got my first girlfriend. She had polio, wasn't very pretty, and her right leg was bent outwards, making her walk with a noticeable limp. Most men wouldn't choose to date her, but at that time, I was only interested in being in a relationship, so I didn't care about anything else. Even if she had polio, I would have dated a disabled person or an extremely unattractive woman.

Our relationship progressed quickly, and we soon moved in together. However, love comes and goes quickly; we broke up after only three months. She longed for a mature man who would take care of her, but I was a naive young man, easily jealous and prone to temper tantrums, with a very immature view of love. Looking back now, I feel really guilty towards her, and I'm also grateful to her for being there for me during that brief period of love, allowing me to experience the bittersweetness of love for the first time.

However, the topic here is sex, not love. My love history can be summarized briefly without going into details.

My first sexual experience happened in her brother's bed. Although I had years of experience with caressing with my cousin, we were both clueless and didn't really "enjoy sex," but rather "enjoy caressing." Therefore, my sexual knowledge was still insufficient. At that time, my sexual knowledge came from Japanese porn, and thus, I made the same mistake as all men—"Go harder, go harder, the faster the better for the woman, the harder the sex, the more comfortable the woman will feel."

Although my caressing skills were quite good, my cousin and I never had sex. I never penetrated her, and because of this, my understanding of the piston-like motion during sex, like that of men all over Taiwan, was wrong—that the faster and harder the penetration, the more pleasure the woman would feel.

After getting my first girlfriend, I was finally able to break free of this taboo. We had sex after dating for a month. Having tasted the forbidden fruit for the first time, I was like a dog in heat, thinking about sex all day long. Although my girlfriend loved my caresses, she always hated having sex with me. (However, she always held back from telling me.)

The first time we had sex, she lay on the bed with her eyes tightly closed, letting me do as I pleased. I, on the other hand, openly studied every part of her body, while also observing her reactions to her feigned sleep. While undressing her, I noticed that her breasts were uneven; her left breast was about a B cup, while her right was only an A cup, like a slightly protruding hill. When I removed her underwear, I noticed that her right leg was emaciated, resembling a malnourished foot, while her left leg was strong and powerful. I guessed that because her right leg was immobile, she had shifted her weight to her left leg over the years, making the left side of her body stronger than the right, thus causing the uneven breast size.

Although she wasn't particularly attractive, I was very curious about whether both sides of her body were equally sensitive. I caressed her entire body with my hands and tongue, and from her reactions, it seemed that although her body proportions were different, her sensitivity levels were the same.

Since we were having sex in her brother's bed, I was worried he would come back and see us, so I only caressed her for about ten minutes before getting down to business. I took off my pants, picked up my penis, and prepared to insert it into her vagina, but after several attempts, I couldn't find a suitable position to penetrate her. My penis rubbed back and forth against her labia for a long time, but I still couldn't get it in. Just when I was about to give up, my girlfriend suddenly opened her eyes, clamped her legs around my buttocks, and gently pulled my body forward with her hands. I actually penetrated her! It was

my first time penetrating a woman's vagina, and I only felt that it was very warm inside, and wet and sticky, which felt indescribably comfortable. I did feel some pain, but the pleasure far outweighed the pain, so I ignored it and started thrusting vigorously. With each thrust, I felt an even stronger pleasure and pain. I always thought only women felt pain during their first time, but I never imagined men would feel pain too!

I wonder if every man experiences pain during his first time? But at least I felt a little pain. Although I retract my foreskin when I masturbate, I don't retract it all the way to the base. But during the first penetration, my foreskin naturally retracted to the base, so while thrusting, I felt pain in addition to pleasure.

Perhaps because of the pain, the pleasure was significantly reduced, and I continued thrusting for over twenty minutes before ejaculating inside her. When we chatted afterwards, she often questioned whether I was a virgin because my foreplay was too skilled and my stamina was too good. Little did she know that my skill in foreplay was due to years of caressing with my cousin, and my good stamina was because my penis was in pain, causing me to ejaculate late. However

, to save face, I didn't tell her the truth. But one thing made her quite believe I was a virgin: the first time we had sex, I rubbed against her labia for a long time but still couldn't penetrate... making me seem very clumsy.

Every time we had foreplay, she always felt very comfortable, but during sex, I would just keep thrusting wildly. I didn't care about her going from pretending to be comfortable to feeling nothing, and finally enduring the pain. I was just enjoying the pleasure of my penis being enveloped by her warm vagina.

My first taste of forbidden fruit made me lose control. During our relationship, I demanded sex with her every day, sometimes up to three times a day. Towards the end, my penis even chafed raw, and it hurt terribly! We only abstained for three or four days, continuing our sex life the rest of the time. She endured it without telling me that simply thrusting wildly doesn't make a woman feel comfortable. Therefore, during that period, I had sex with her using the wrong concepts.

Our relationship ended after only three months. She bore the brunt of my immature views on love back then, which made me feel extremely guilty and grateful. It helped me become more mature and stable in my second and third relationships.

[Fifth Diary Entry] Xiaoyu's Sex Diary: I Was Tricked into Buying Prostitutes

Hello everyone, I'm Xiaoyu, and today's topic is buying prostitutes.

Escort services, prostitution, tea drinking, fish eating, Thai bathing, youth leagues… there are many methods, all essentially the same, just with slight differences in the process, but the goal is the same: "sex for profit."

I've had three girlfriends in total, and my second relationship is a permanent wound for me; I never want to talk about her… Before my second relationship broke down, I was a devoted man. The only women I ever slept with were my cousin and my first girlfriend. My sex life wasn't promiscuous; I was very faithful. Back then, Xiaoyu was a devoted and good man.

But after my second relationship ended, I fell into depravity.

Everyone releases their emotions differently after a breakup. Some smoke excessively, some drink heavily, some become addicted to online games, and some spend money on prostitutes. Back then, I was an honest man. I didn't smoke, drink, gamble, or visit prostitutes. I buried myself in my work, trying to forget her by being busy. I worked overtime every day, fifteen or sixteen hours a day, and didn't take a vacation for three months.

My buddy Guo saw me working like crazy and becoming listless and dazed whenever I wasn't working. He tried to offer me cigarettes and alcohol, but I refused them all. So, he secretly decided to trick me into going to prostitution, to make me see women as nothing more than clothes, and stop being so infatuated with one woman.

One early morning, he mysteriously knocked on my door, saying he wanted to take me to a "good place." I couldn't sleep because I was thinking about my ex-girlfriend, so I went with my buddy Guo.

My friend Xiao Guo took me to an area in Sanchong. There were many small temples in the area, and red lanterns hung everywhere. Xiao Guo pointed to the red lanterns and said, "See? This place has red lanterns, and they're selling sex inside."

I asked in surprise, "Aren't these the kind of lanterns that temples usually hang? How can they be selling sex?"

Xiao Guo drove another twenty meters, and we came to another old building that didn't look like a temple or a shop. He said, "See? There are lanterns here too. This place is also 'doing business'."

I observed carefully. He drove around this area, and there were red lanterns hanging every half block, and some of the shops were even located next to the police station. Beside me, I asked, "It can't all be prostitutes, right? Otherwise, the police would have arrested them long ago, with the station right next door!"

My friend Xiao Guo laughed and said, "You're too naive. This is a lucrative job!"

Xiao Guo continued, "Do you think all the police are so upright? The police officers who are stationed here are overjoyed. They all receive a lot of bribes. When there's a crackdown on prostitution, they'll notify the shops in advance to avoid it. Then, for shops that are late in handing over bribes or give too few, they'll arrest one or two mainland girls to make up the difference. This boosts their sales and also serves as a warning to shops that don't give enough bribes. They make a profit from both sides!"

Back then, I, Xiao Yu, was still a proper and honest person and never imagined such a thing would happen. Then he drove around to the main road and saw that the lights were dim. Every twenty meters there was a person standing outside. There were old women, strong men and young men. His friend Xiao Guo slowed down and said, "Those are all outside soliciting customers. We can't let the girls stand out and solicit customers themselves. That's too arrogant." He then rolled down the car window.

Sure enough, a tall, burly man immediately approached our car and said, "Hey bro, we have some new stuff today! Want to give it a try?"

My friend Xiao Guo casually replied, "Sure, I'll look around first, I'll be right back."

The burly man wasn't angry and smiled, saying, "No problem, you can always come back."

After driving a few dozen meters further, a woman in her forties or fifties came up and said, "Hey! Bro, we have 'washing' services here!"

My friend Xiao Guo's eyes lit up, and he looked at me with a wicked grin: "Today I'll let you try something special, guaranteed to make you forget your ex-girlfriend!"

I've never been to a prostitute. However, I didn't know beforehand that I would be taken to a prostitute. At that time, I was a rather conservative and honest person when it came to sex. I was scared and said, "You go ahead, I'll wait for you in the car."

My friend Xiao Guo suddenly raised his voice and said, "You can't wait in the car! Even if you really don't want to do it, you have to sit inside and wait. Waiting in the car is like offending them!"

The aunt next to me also chimed in, "Hey, no one waits in the car. You have to wait inside while we make tea and you can chat with the girls."

I looked at the aunt with a smile in her eyes, as if she was mocking me for being a newbie who didn't know the rules. Although I didn't want to go to a prostitute at all, in my mind at that time, love had to be faithful, and "love" and "sex" were inseparable. How could I have sex with a woman I had no feelings for? I wanted to refuse, but I was afraid they would be angry, so I reluctantly agreed.

I followed my aunt and my friend Xiao Guo into the dimly lit street and arrived at an old house. My aunt warmly invited us to sit down and then called out to the room. Five young women filed out, a variety of shapes and sizes, and they looked to be between twenty and thirty years old.

My friend Xiao Guo's eyes lit up. He pointed to a tall girl, about 170 cm tall. The girl smiled at him and led him into the room. As he walked in, Xiao Guo turned back and said, "Xiao Yu, I'll go in first. You can take your time choosing!"

After Xiao Guo left, I was the only man left in the living room. I didn't know what to do. I was terrified. I didn't know whether to stand or sit. The aunt encouraged me to choose a girl too: "Your friend is in there for forty or fifty minutes. How embarrassing is it for you to wait here alone? You've come at the right time. Our girls are especially good today. There's also a new one from the mainland. She's only eighteen!"

The aunt pointed to a woman with large breasts. I could tell she looked twenty-five, but she insisted on saying she was eighteen. I was a little unhappy. But as I looked at their attire, my heart started racing. These girls were all wearing only one-piece dresses, the cleavage extremely low, exposing most of their breasts, almost revealing their nipples. Whether they had large or small breasts was immediately obvious, no doubt about it! And the skirts were 25 centimeters above the knee, almost as short as underwear. I glanced at them out of the corner of my eye, but still couldn't see any underwear, secretly wondering, "Are they even wearing underwear?"

The auntie continued her encouragement for a while, and I gradually couldn't hold back anymore. I thought, "Okay, it's just a little money anyway. I'll pick a girl to go into the room, and tell her I won't do anything, but I'll still pay her. That way, I won't have to face so many women staring at me here." "See, this way I can avoid that annoying auntie." I chose the busty mainland girl recommended by the auntie. Although she looked to have a standard figure, at most only slightly chubby, her breasts were shockingly large, definitely a G-cup, completely disproportionate to her figure. Girls with her figure would be at most a C or D cup, but she had super huge G-cups. I guessed she had probably given birth not long ago, hence the enormous size of her breasts!

My reasons for choosing her were partly altruistic: "She just gave birth and is still working this kind of money, it must be really tough for her. I chose her but we won't have sex, so she can rest for an hour and earn a little more money." But I also had a wicked thought: "If we really have sex, maybe... maybe I can get some breast milk!" Lost

in these thoughts, I followed the busty woman into the shop. The busty mainland Chinese woman led me to a small room at the back, dimly lit with only a small yellow pendant light. I was wondering what reason I could use to say, "We don't need to have sex, I'll still pay you." Just as I was about to say it, I saw her lock the door and then take off her dress with lightning speed, as fast as lightning!

Although the lighting was dim, I could vaguely see her body. I was stunned and froze. She wasn't wearing a bra, and her breasts were indeed enormous, so large that they sagged slightly.

The busty woman said, "Stop looking, take off your clothes, I'll help you take a bath."

At that moment, my brain had stopped working, my mind was completely blank, and I unconsciously took off my clothes. When I came to my senses, she had already soaked us both, applied shower gel to me, and then told me to lie down on a strange thing. It wasn't a chair, nor a table; I didn't know how to describe it.

At that moment, the busty woman pressed her breasts against my face, and I was shocked. Then I felt a sense of suffocation. I saw her remove her breasts from my face, but then press them against my arm, twisting her whole body, and then pressing her breasts against my chest, lower abdomen, thighs, and penis...

She, she, she... she was actually using her huge breasts to bathe me!

Just as my heart was racing, she then grabbed my arm and rubbed her labia against my hand. Her pubic hair was very thick, but because of the shower gel, it didn't feel itchy at all. I only felt the warm, thick flesh rubbing my arm back and forth.

Then, she sat on my upper abdomen. Perhaps because of her large breasts, I felt she was quite heavy and I felt a little uncomfortable. However, my attention was quickly diverted because this time she was using her "whole body" to bathe me!

Her huge breasts were pressed against my chest, her abdomen against my abdomen, her clitoris and labia against my penis, and her thighs clamped around one of my legs. Then she twisted and turned vigorously, using every part of her body to bathe me! At this moment, I could no longer remember the belief I had when I first entered the room that "I don't want to have sex with you"... My mind went blank, and I didn't even know how this physical bath ended...

Then the big-breasted girl helped me put on a condom and gave me a blowjob, and we had sex, etc. I won't go into details about these things because the physical bath was too shocking for me. The feeling afterward didn't feel like much, and I couldn't even ejaculate during sex.
(Back then, Xiaoyu was still a naive boy who firmly believed that "love is the prerequisite for sex," so he didn't feel anything during sex and didn't feel the urge to ejaculate.)

Afterwards, when my friend Xiaoguo drove me away, he told me that this was called a "Thai shower," which was just a kind of erotic activity and didn't contribute to "physical pleasure." But I was really quite fascinated by this feeling; the emotional impact it brought was enormous. Although my cousin and I had showered together for many years, we always used our hands to wash and caress each other; we never thought about using our entire bodies to wash each other. However, it's not easy to find places that offer "Thai showers" now, and the service isn't as professional as it used to be.

Although I was tricked into prostitution by my bad friend Xiao Guo, it was the first time in my life that I had engaged in sex transactions with a woman. I couldn't sleep all night that day, sometimes thinking about my ex-girlfriend, sometimes thinking about the sex transaction I had just had. My views on love were greatly impacted...

From that day on, I fell into depravity, my views on love were shattered, and "sex and love can be separated" became my new concept. I "ate fish," "drank tea," had one-night stands, had casual sex partners, etc... and had sex with dozens of women.

[Sixth Diary Entry] Xiaoyu's Sex Diary: Caresses with My Cousin

Hello everyone, I am Xiaoyu. Today I originally wanted to write about what happened between me and other sex partners, but judging from everyone's comments, it seems that you like my cousin more, so let's talk about what happened between my cousin and me first! However, we've been together for so many years, and so much has happened. Besides "tender play" and "bathing together," we've also developed feelings for each other, argued, almost been caught by adults, fought because my cousin was jealous that my cousin didn't love him more, and I even followed my cousin on dates after she got a boyfriend… There have been so many things! If I wrote them all down, I could probably write a whole novel. ==

Between my cousin and me, there exists an emotion that transcends kinship, but it's not love. We both have an indescribable ambiguity, and I've thought about it for a long time but still can't find a suitable word to describe our relationship.

I've longed for love since I was little, and before I even started a "tender relationship" with my cousin, I was already pursuing other female classmates. I was only in fifth grade then. I know the reason very well. I lost my mother when I was young, and my father was an alcoholic and gambler, often not coming home for a week or two. As a primary school student, I had to learn to be independent and live alone from a

young age. Lacking both paternal and maternal love, I transferred all these emotions to "love." I longed to meet a girl who loved me and would accompany me. During the Spring Festival holiday, my cousin and I'd gone from our "bathroom peeping battle" to a "tender relationship." But after the holiday, they went back to their own homes, and I was alone again. The house felt empty, with only loneliness for company. I didn't know when my father would come home. I thought about my cousin every day. So much happened this Spring Festival...

My cousin and I peeked at girls showering for the first time. I saw a girl's breasts and genitals for the first time.
A girl touched my penis for the first time.
I ejaculated for the first time.
And... our first caressing game.

After that, my cousin would often call my house and occasionally come to visit me on weekends. But for some reason, although I thought about her every day, I was afraid to see her. I avoided meeting her. It was probably because the impact of my first ejaculation was too strong, and it happened in front of a girl. I felt extremely ashamed.

I'd been avoiding her for a long time, probably three or four months, maybe even longer... One day, I came home from school and saw my cousin sitting at my door. I was startled and turned to run, but my cousin, who was already in junior high, was much taller and more well-educated than me. She rushed over and grabbed the back of my school uniform collar, yelling, "You little brat, you stinky little brat, you think you can run away!"

I didn't dare turn around and struggled desperately, my hands wildly flailing back. I think I touched my cousin's chest, and she was startled and let go of me. As soon as I broke free, I ran downstairs, but after a few steps, I heard my cousin yelling, "Xiaoyu! If you run away again, I won't be friends with you anymore! I, I, I, you..." Then I heard a "waaaah!" and my cousin suddenly burst into tears.

I'm terrified of girls crying. When I heard my cousin cry, I tiptoed back upstairs, completely at a loss, not knowing how to comfort her. When my cousin saw me come back, she cried and yelled, hitting me repeatedly with both hands: "You little brat, you...you run away again! You run away again! I'm not going to be friends with you anymore!"

I quickly apologized: "Sister, don't cry, I won't run away again!"

My cousin stopped hitting me, but then she thought for a moment, reached out again, grabbed my left hand, opened her mouth, and bit down hard. It hurt so much I cried loudly!

She really bit me so hard I cried; it hurt so much!

She made me remember one thing forever—"Never mess with women!"

No matter how old or young a girl is, you must never push her too far. If you do, she really will bite... Many couples often joke with each other, saying, "Come on, bite me!" But I'm different. I would never say that to a woman because my older cousin's fierce bite back then truly terrified me!

I can't quite remember what happened afterward, since I was still in elementary school at the time, and it was more than ten years ago, so my memory is very vague... I only remember that my siblings and I both came in crying. I still don't quite understand why she was crying... But I cried because she bit me so hard.

I don't remember what happened after that. I only remember that when I went to sleep that night, my sister had her arms around my waist. But I was extremely excited and nervous and couldn't sleep at all. All I could think about was the scene of our first time caressing each other. Sometimes I could see her tight labia with lots of soft hair growing on them, and sometimes I could see her naked body while taking a bath.

The room was pitch black, and I couldn't see if my cousin was asleep. I tentatively asked in a very soft voice, "Sister, are you asleep?"

My cousin didn't respond. I waited for a while, inhaling the faint fragrance emanating from her body. I couldn't tell if it was her natural feminine scent or the smell of soap. I only knew that I increasingly wanted to touch my cousin's body and get closer to her to smell her scent. My lust grew, and I slowly reached out and gently touched my cousin's body. I felt that I should have touched her waist. I paused for a few seconds to make sure that my cousin was really fast asleep before I boldly reached up and touched her. Although seeing my cousin's genitals last time had given me a huge shock, as a primary school student, I was still more interested in girls' breasts. I gradually moved upwards and touched my cousin's breasts.

Although my cousin is only in the first year of junior high school, she's well-developed and already wears a bra. But I had no idea how to unhook it, so I just reached inside. My cousin's breasts were soft and elastic. I gradually touched the nipple in the center. I thought it would be soft and elastic too, but it felt a little hard, and it seemed to get harder the more I touched it.

Touching a girl's breasts for the first time made me extremely excited. I touched it for a long time, and the pressure unconsciously increased. Suddenly, I heard a low shout in my ear: "Be gentle! It hurts!"

I was enjoying touching it when I suddenly heard my cousin's voice. I was almost scared to death! I quickly pulled my hand back, but I pulled too hard, and my cousin's bra came loose and fell off. I was afraid my cousin would scold me, but to my surprise, she gently took my hand and led it to her underwear.

(Long afterward, when we were chatting, she told me that she hadn't slept at all the time; she had been waiting for me to touch her body first… It turns out that girls are so cunning even when they're young!) -__-;;

My fingers felt a wet, sticky sensation. I knew it was fluid flowing from my cousin's tight, tender lips. I vaguely knew it wasn't urine, but being so young, I didn't know it was a woman's secretion when aroused. I only knew that this viscous fluid had a strange, unpleasant smell that actually aroused me even more.

My cousin pulled my hand and rubbed it up and down against her panties. I didn't dare struggle, only feeling her breathing grow heavier. One of my hands was taken by my cousin to masturbate. I didn't dare pull my hand away, but my mind was still on my cousin's breasts.

I couldn't help it; I was too young then to appreciate the beauty of a woman's labia and vagina, let alone the beauty of her neck, waist, legs, and other parts of her body. Back then, I only thought that a woman's breasts were the most beautiful and attractive part of her body.

I boldly reached out my other hand to touch my cousin's nipples again, but to my surprise, she pushed my hand away and said, "Don't touch me there, it will hurt!"

(We only learned a year or two later that her breasts were still developing at that time, so her nipples were particularly sensitive. A light touch would feel very comfortable to her and make her enjoy it, but if I touched her nipples for too long or used even a little force, the pleasure would turn into pain.)

Not being able to touch her breasts was a bit of a disappointment, but besides her breasts, I didn't know where else to touch. Then, based on my instincts, I touched my own penis. Having experienced my cousin masturbating me before, I knew that stroking my penis up and down would feel very good. However, I didn't dare to pull down my foreskin like she did; it would sting a little. So, I stroked it less, and probably didn't expose the glans.

In the darkness, we couldn't see each other. I could only feel my cousin's breathing getting louder and heavier, and I couldn't help but imitate her breathing. Strangely, when my cousin heard me breathing, she breathed even louder! However, my masturbation didn't last long. After only a short while, I felt that "extremely strong urge to urinate" that I had when I ejaculated last time rushing back. I shouted, "Sister, I... I can't hold it in anymore!"

My cousin was startled, but unlike last time, she didn't stop masturbating, grab my penis, or order me not to "urinate." This time, she grabbed my hand even harder and rubbed her genitals. I was afraid of ejaculating on the blankets and bed, so I tried to jump out of bed and rush to the bathroom. But my cousin was enjoying herself and held onto my hand tightly. I tried to hold it in, but it was no use. I only held it for three or four seconds before I ejaculated. As I ejaculated, I involuntarily screamed and my whole body convulsed for more than ten seconds...

I don't remember what happened after that. I only remember catching my breath for a while and then falling asleep in a daze.

But I vaguely remember that before I fell asleep, my cousin was still holding my hand and helping her masturbate. I was so tired that I wanted to pull my hand away, but my cousin still held my hand tightly as she touched her genitals and wouldn't let go. I had no choice but to let her do as she pleased and went to sleep on my own.

I have no idea how long she touched me that day...

I only remember that when I woke up in the morning, I was rubbing my eyes as I walked to the bathroom, but I smelled a very strong, fishy smell on my hands, so stinky that it woke me up completely! I smelled my other hand and also smelled a faint stench, and there was something white and dry on my hands. I thought for a while before I remembered that one hand was my cousin's vaginal fluid, and the other hand was my own semen, which took me a long time to wash off with soap...

Later, we found dried semen on the bed, and there was also a small stain on the bed where she was lying. The two of us kids spent a lot of effort washing the sheets and blankets, and after we finally finished, we rushed to school... That morning almost killed us.

After our first time caressing each other, I ejaculated for the first time in my life, and it happened on her hands and clothes. As a young child, I felt ashamed to ejaculate in front of a girl, so I avoided her for several months. Last night, we finally had our second time caressing each other. But after this time, I opened up and stopped avoiding my cousin. She started coming to my house every day, and eventually she just stayed at my house and wouldn't leave.

(Actually, half of it was because I was afraid my cousin would bite my hand again = =;; so I dared not avoid her anymore.)

However, my cousin stayed at my house too frequently, and she never brought her younger brother with her, which caused misunderstandings with my aunt and uncle. They mistakenly thought that my cousin was heartbroken because my mother had passed away early and my father often went gambling and didn't come home, so she specially came to stay at my house to take care of my younger brother. They even praised the beautiful girl for being kind and knowing how to take care of her younger cousin! Little

did they know that the truth was that the two of us kids were actually on a "journey of exploring the mysteries of the human body"...

and my cousin, because his sister and I became very close, was jealous and threw tantrums for a while! However, we didn't dare tell him about the "caressing game" between my cousin and me. We were afraid he would tell the adults, so we deliberately distanced ourselves from him.

Later, I developed strange feelings for my cousin; I fell in love with her. So I stopped peeping at her while she showered with my younger cousin. I didn't want other boys to see her naked. Luckily, my younger cousin was too young. He really only saw peeping as a game. After he stopped playing, he focused on video games and gradually forgot about our past peeping at my cousin.

My caressing game with my cousin lasted for about six or seven years... I'll talk about what happened between us later when I think back on it! This has taken too long to write, I'm so tired!

As I reminisced and wrote in my diary, my penis remained erect throughout the day while recalling my cousin. Today's entry took me four or five hours to write, and my penis remained erect for the same four or five hours. To be honest, this is the first time I've maintained an erection for so long. This...this is truly painful!

[Seventh Diary Entry]: My Cousin and I's Kissing Game

Hello everyone on the Ellie Forum and Facebook, let's continue talking about what happened between my cousin and me when we were little.

Starting in sixth grade, my cousin and I began our "caressing game," and over the next six or seven years, so many things happened between us.

We were very close, but we were cousins after all, and the shackles of "family" separated us, even though we weren't related by blood...

My cousin and I were adopted by my aunt and uncle. Because we grew up together, no matter how close we were, we could never break free of these shackles. Every time we enjoyed heavenly physical pleasure, we also suffered hellish spiritual sin.

Therefore, we did everything, but we just never had sexual intercourse. Until the very end, I never penetrated her vagina. Because of the guilt, we both tried our best to restrain ourselves, promising each other not to penetrate.

Looking back now, the only word to describe our willpower to endure it is "miracle"...

After my second petting game with my older cousin in sixth grade, she often stayed at my house alone. At first, my younger cousin also kept asking to stay. The three of us siblings had always been together since we were little, and my younger cousin suddenly felt neglected by us. He was very jealous, especially since he only found out in junior high that he was an adopted son of his parents. He felt that he was not related to us and that we had no blood relation, so his rebellious phase lasted for a long time.

My older cousin and I were the opposite. We became closer and closer. As we petted each other, we eventually developed feelings for each other, and it was no longer just the sibling affection between "relatives".

We dated, ate, slept, and kissed together, but the feelings between us weren't exactly "love." In junior high and high school, although we played affectionate games almost every day, she had a crush on someone and had boyfriends. I had never had a girlfriend, but I had pursued girls.

While feelings were blossoming between us, we allowed each other to fall in love with others, and occasionally we would get jealous and argue about it. This kind of emotion was very complicated, and I couldn't describe it in words.

At first, we just caressed each other's genitals. After a month or two, we gradually started exploring other parts of our bodies.

When I was in sixth grade, the most popular TV show was the Japanese drama "Itazura na Kiss," where a single kiss could drastically change the heroine's life. My cousin and I were also very curious about kissing and tried our first kiss. However, after kissing several times, we didn't feel anything. It was just "four lips touching," which didn't give us any sensual stimulation, let alone any emotional development. It was completely different from what was portrayed in the Japanese drama.

However, we continued kissing many times. Later, during one of our caresses, I suddenly had a bright idea and started kissing her breasts. My cousin had developed earlier, and her breasts were already around a B cup. I'm shorter than her, and my hands are smaller, so my hands were just the right size to hold her breasts.

I first sucked on her tender pink nipples, and my cousin suddenly let out a soft moan, "Ah... um..."

We had been caressing each other for several months. Although we were always breathing heavily and panting a lot, we never made a sound (for fear that my dad would suddenly come home and hear us). This time, her sudden moan excited me greatly. I kept sucking on her nipples, and they became harder and harder with each suck.

My cousin usually hates it when I touch her nipples. I can touch her labia or other parts of her body, but she won't let me touch her nipples for too long (she says it hurts if I touch them for too long). But this time, she really enjoyed me kissing her nipples. That's when I realized that using the tongue can bring a woman more pleasure than using the hands.

I had a sudden idea and started licking upwards with my tongue, licking her breasts, collarbone, shoulders, and neck. When I licked her neck, my cousin reacted especially strongly. She kept twisting her whole body, as if she was very ticklish, but also seemed to be enjoying it. I sucked and licked, and finally licked her cheeks.

Normally, during foreplay, no matter how much licking occurs, people wouldn't lick the cheeks. But this was my first time licking a woman's body, and I knew nothing about it. I just wanted to make my cousin feel better and hear her moans more often. So I licked her chin, her cheeks, her nose, her forehead, and even her tightly closed eyelids, leaving her face covered in my saliva.

When we finally kissed, I put my tongue inside her. I felt a warm, wet sensation on the tip of my tongue, a tingling, itchy feeling that was also incredibly pleasurable. That's when I realized that the "kissing" shown on TV is completely fake; it's not pleasurable and doesn't really spark feelings. Only "French kissing" truly allows two people to connect physically and emotionally.

My cousin and I hugged tightly, and our tongues intertwined instantly. Her breath sprayed onto my eyes and nose. We French kissed for a very long time, several times longer than our caresses. We were both panting heavily. It was our first time French kissing, so our technique wasn't very good. Sometimes our teeth would collide, and sometimes we would accidentally bite each other lightly. But the hardest thing to control was our saliva. Saliva kept flowing in our mouths while we French kissed. By the end, our chins were covered in saliva, and the bed was also quite wet. I couldn't tell if it was my saliva or hers.

I grinned and said, "Sister, you drool so much!"

My cousin lightly tapped my head and said, "Nonsense! It's clearly your drool. Look, my face is all sticky from your kisses!"

We were both still young, so we argued back and forth about "your drool" and "my drool." But after a short while, my cousin asked me to kiss her a few more times. It seemed she especially enjoyed licking her body with me.

However, the next day, when my cousin wanted to French kiss me, I refused. My throat was sore and painful that day, probably because I had been using my tongue for too long. Not only did I French kiss my cousin for a long time, but I also licked her upper body for a long time, which made my tongue and throat ache for two whole days. My cousin

only French kissed me and didn't lick my body, so she didn't feel any pain at all. I begged her to lick my body too, but she said boys sweat a lot and their bodies are dirty, and she absolutely refused to lick me. I protested to her for days, and I'm sure I've shouted "unfair" a hundred times.

Finally, I got really angry. I stopped touching my cousin's genitals and stopped French kissing her. No matter how much she begged, scolded, ordered, or tempted me, I ignored her. We argued for days, and our caressing games were interrupted for several days. My cousin couldn't take it anymore and finally half-surrendered and proposed a deal—I would lick her genitals in exchange for her licking my body.

My cousin was curious about whether it felt good to be licked down there, so she made this deal, and I readily agreed. Later, when I caressed and licked her body, I licked downwards, finally reaching her inner thighs. I smelled the love juice flowing from her tight vagina, but the fishy smell emanating from it made it impossible for me to continue licking.

Actually, the smell wasn't strong; it was a faint, unpleasant odor. Although I found it somewhat disgusting, somehow I particularly liked it. The female hormone scent emanating from her vagina both repulsed and fascinated me.

It was like the smell of durian—it's clearly a foul odor, but somehow it also has a strangely pleasant aroma, making it both repulsive and appealing.

My face was buried in my cousin's thighs, hesitating for a long time. My nose was filled with the smell of her sweat, body odor, and vagina. I watched the love juice flowing continuously from her tight vagina, but I still didn't dare to lick it until the very end.

The game suddenly stopped, leaving my cousin's pleasure hanging in the air. She kept begging me to continue licking her, but I still didn't dare. I retorted, "You have to kiss my little penis too!"

My cousin was stubborn and immediately replied, "Okay!"

My cousin got up and held my small but firm penis, stroking it while sticking out her tongue to lick it. But as soon as her face got close, she immediately pulled back. I guessed she must have smelled something too, and she hesitated for a long time before licking it.

I angrily said, "See! You still don't dare to kiss me!"

My cousin was speechless. That day, our caressing only went halfway before it was interrupted. This was the first time my cousin hadn't helped me ejaculate, and I hadn't helped her reach orgasm.

Later, we added "French kissing" and "body licking" to our caressing games, but my cousin still refused to lick me, especially after I graduated from elementary school and entered junior high. My genitals started growing hair, and my penis gradually grew bigger.

My cousin used to think my penis was "cute" and "fun," but now she said it was "ugly and scary," which made me very indignant. Unlike her, when I first saw her genitals, she already had pubic hair. At the time, I thought female genitals were ugly, and that our male penises looked better when they were bare.

(Back then, I was young and didn't know how to appreciate the beauty of female genitals. Now I know how to appreciate them better, haha.)

We caressed each other hundreds of times. My cousin always wanted to try having her vagina licked, but I always refused. Later, I don't know if it was when I was in the first or second year of junior high school, my cousin suddenly suggested that we take a shower together. She wanted to lick each other after showering because she thought it would be cleaner that way.

I asked, "I get just as clean when I shower, so why don't you dare kiss me?"

My cousin said, "No way! You guys smell bad and sweat a lot. You only shower for five minutes each time, how can you get clean?"

To be honest, I really think my cousin is biased. Her body gets hotter and sweats more than mine. Every time I lick her, I taste a slightly sour and salty flavor on my tongue—that's her sweat.

But I couldn't win against my cousin. She felt that she was cleaner when she helped me shower, so she felt more comfortable licking my body. So we decided to shower together.

Although we've been caressing each other for a year or two, her tight petals have begun to open slightly and her pubic hair has become thicker, while my bald little penis has become an ugly phallus, also covered with abundant stray hairs. However, we've never seen each other's naked bodies. We almost always caress and kiss at night, hiding in bed.

I had only peeked at my cousin taking a shower when I was in elementary school, and it had been a year or two since then. This time, we were going to meet naked, and we were both very nervous. We stared at each other in the small bathroom, neither of us daring to take off our clothes first. My

cousin said, "Xiaoyu, why aren't you taking off your clothes?"

I said, "You take them off first, then I'll take them off!"

My cousin looked at my genitals and said, "I've already seen your little penis, what's there to be shy about?"

I retorted, "Aren't you the same? I've already seen your genitals too, and we almost kissed, but you're still too scared to take them off!"

My cousin was a little embarrassed and angry, and ordered me to take off all my clothes, or she wouldn't lick my body. Although I was shy, I really wanted to be licked, so I boldly took off all my clothes.

My cousin watched as my penis broke through the thicket of hair, pointing straight to the sky. She wrapped her arms around my waist, stroking it back and forth with her hand while whispering in my ear, "You're so excited, why are you pretending to be shy? You're such a little devil!"

My penis was stimulated, and my lust intensified. I urged my cousin to take off her clothes quickly, but she hesitated for a long time before starting. Watching her undress and unhook her bra, I finally understood that women's bras are unhooked from behind. My cousin never wore a bra when we made love in bed, so it wasn't until now that I learned how to help a woman take off her bra.

My cousin was voluptuous, a little overweight. At the time, she probably weighed around 40 kilograms (I forget her height). I kept staring at her large breasts, but she always covered them with her hands, refusing to let go.

She always disliked me staring at her chest. Her reason was that the boys in her class often secretly stared at her, especially during PE class when they were running. Those sleazy boys would point at her chest and laugh. So, she often pretended to be sick during PE class, saying she had her period or an upset stomach.

Actually, she was very healthy; she never had stomach pains. In fact, her libido was particularly high during her period, and she would ask me to caress her three or four times a day. But I was the opposite; I hated touching her during her period because it would leave my hands covered in blood, and the smell was terrible, especially the bloodstains on the bed—they were incredibly difficult to wash off! It meant that every time she had her period, we had to spend all our allowance to buy a huge pile of towels to put on the bed.

My cousin said, "Turn around, I'll wash your back." I obediently turned around and felt a pair of hands lathering soap on the back of my neck and back. After a while, my cousin hugged me, her chest pressed against my back, and reached forward to lather soap on my chest and abdomen.

No wonder my cousin said that boys are very casual when they shower. I can shower in five minutes by myself, but she probably spent half an hour washing me. There really is a difference between how girls and boys shower!

My cousin was extremely meticulous, carefully washing me from my neck to my thighs, especially my penis. Perhaps she was worried it would smell bad when I licked it later, so she washed it for a particularly long time, almost making me ejaculate...

While she was washing me, I wasn't idle either; I touched her body to my heart's content. However, when I washed her armpits, she clenched them tightly. My cousin felt embarrassed that her armpit hair was being seen by a boy, and no matter how much I begged her, she refused to show me her armpits.

(I still don't understand what's so embarrassing about this? I've seen and touched every inch of her skin, but she still won't let me see her armpits = =;; Women's thoughts are sometimes really hard to understand.)

We've been showering for about an hour. After we finished showering and got dressed, I secretly opened the bathroom door to make sure that Dad still hadn't come home, and then I took my cousin's hand and we went to bed.

Back in the room, we began a passionate kiss and caresses. As usual, I licked every inch of my cousin's skin. Perhaps because she had just showered, her body was burning hot, and I felt my face flushed too. This time, licking her body, I could smell a wonderful fragrance, unlike before when it had a slightly sour and salty taste. However, my cousin sweats quite easily, and when I licked her inner thighs, I could still smell sweat.

Fortunately, this time she had a strong soapy scent, making the sweat and vaginal odor much fainter. This time, I didn't find it disgusting at all; in fact, I found it quite pleasant. As I licked her inner thighs and groin, my cousin's moans grew louder, as if encouraging me to lick longer.

But when I licked my cousin's labia, she took a deep breath and fell silent. I looked up at her; her eyes were tightly closed, her brows slightly furrowed, and her mouth slightly open. After a while, she opened her eyes and said, "Why did you stop? Keep going!"

I asked curiously, "Does it feel good to kiss here?"

My cousin blushed and said, "I'll kiss you next time, then you'll know."

Hearing that my cousin was finally willing to lick my body, and possibly even my penis, I happily continued to lick her labia. With each lick, my cousin's moans grew louder. I suddenly noticed that her labia were slightly looser than before, revealing a glimpse of her vulva, but it was still very tight. Curious, I stuck my finger in, but could only insert half a knuckle before being unable to go any further. Looking down, I saw that the first knuckle of my index finger was covered in my cousin's vaginal fluid, and it was very thick, even stringy, extending all the way to her vulva.

At that time, my cousin's sexual organs weren't fully developed, and her clitoris wasn't very prominent, so I focused only on licking her labia and playing with her vulva with my fingers. I became increasingly excited, constantly gently pinching her vulva, wanting to see how much fluid would flow out. The more I pinched, the more fluid she produced, as if it would never run out.

My cousin's moans grew louder and louder. I was a little worried; if my father suddenly came home at this moment, he would definitely hear her moans! However, I was in a very strong sexual mood at the time. Although I was a little scared, I continued to play with her vagina. Suddenly, my cousin screamed, grabbed my hair with both hands, and squeezed my head tightly between her thighs, making it hard for me to breathe.

The spasms and vibrations of my cousin's body reached my head, and I could feel her thighs shaking violently. It took several seconds before she finally released my head. I lifted my head and gasped for breath, feeling that everything below my nose was wet. She had pressed my head down so hard that my face was covered in her love juice.

Although we've made love hundreds of times, I rarely see my cousin climax. Her stamina is always better than mine; I always ejaculate first, while she takes a long time to climax. Sometimes, after I ejaculate, I'm tired and want to sleep, but she's still holding my hand and making love. So, I don't always see her climax.

I can only reliably see her climax when she's menstruating, because her libido is particularly strong during her period, and she demands more lovemaking. But I only ejaculate once or twice before my libido drops. Although I still get an erection when my cousin makes love to my penis, it feels numb.

My cousin climaxes, but my penis is still painfully swollen! I lay on the bed, gently pushing my cousin's body away, and said, "Sister, it's your turn to kiss me."

My cousin's voice was hoarse and weak as she said, "Xiaoyu, I have no strength left..."

I urged her on, and she tried to sit up, but she was too weak and collapsed against my chest halfway up.

She said coquettishly, "I can't muster any strength... Xiaoyu, let me rest for a while, okay?" She kissed me and snuggled up beside me.

My penis was still erect, and I wanted to insist that she get up and lick me, but I also felt sorry for her being so tired. It was the first time I had seen her so weak and powerless, and it was then that I realized how deep my feelings for her were, so I didn't force her and instead suppressed my lust.

I gently stroked her back and talked to her until she fell asleep. After she fell asleep, I masturbated while looking at her face and ejaculated on her thigh. This was the first time I had ever masturbated to the point of ejaculation. Afterwards, I felt a strange emptiness...

I realized that I had fallen for her.

At that time, I already knew that my feelings for her were not "love".

However, I also know that my feelings for her are not just "like." This inexplicable emotion, even now, I still don't know how to describe it.

[Eighth Diary Entry]: More decadent sex, more intense feelings...

Well, I welcome all netizens who message me wanting to discuss sex knowledge, sex techniques, or simply want to talk about love. But if you ask me how to find casual sex partners, I can't help you with that. Sometimes, besides personal charm, it also depends on chance. Although I've had many casual sex partners, there have been times of failure, and times when I went almost a year without a sexual partner. These things are hard to explain; it depends on fate. For example, I lack personal charm, so I've never had a romantic relationship and haven't been able to find a girlfriend, but I have a lot of romantic luck and have had many sexual partners.

Enough with the chit-chat, let's get back to my story with my cousin. At first, it was just the two of us kids enjoying physical pleasure. But ever since I realized I liked my cousin, my expressions and actions towards her became very gentle. My cousin didn't notice; she was simply engrossed in the game of caressing. But my aunt and uncle were different. After all, they were adults, and they immediately realized I liked my cousin.

My older cousin started staying at my house frequently after I was in sixth grade. My aunt and uncle felt sorry for my mother who had passed away early and my father who often gambled and drank, sometimes not coming home for days at a time. So they encouraged her to take care of me. However, as time went on, they realized that my cousin stayed at our house far more often than she came home. My aunt felt that this couldn't go on, so they discussed taking me in with them, seemingly intending to adopt me.

I wasn't too keen on moving in. With adults and my younger cousin at home, the chances of us being affectionate would be lower, and it would be even harder to take a bath with my older cousin. But no matter how unwilling I was, I couldn't find a reason to refuse, so I obediently moved in. After living with me for only a few days, my aunt and uncle discovered that I had fallen for my cousin (I was being too obvious). Although they thought I was falling in love too early, they didn't stop me from liking her since we weren't related by blood. They just repeatedly hinted that I should "date when I'm in college" and that "it's too early for a middle school student to date," subtly encouraging me to focus on my studies.

After moving in with my cousin, I suffered greatly—my cousin was completely oblivious to my feelings, our intimate moments were forced to decrease, we couldn't shower together anymore, and she repeatedly refused my attempts to penetrate her (though she sometimes couldn't resist, and sometimes I was the one who refused). I transferred all this pain to my body, and we engaged in more and more depraved sexual practices.

There are some methods that most people can't accept. I've tried suggesting them to other sexual partners, but they usually just stare wide-eyed and reject me in disbelief... Only my cousin and I are completely absorbed in these methods.

For example, we've evolved "French kissing" into "muddy French kissing."

One day, unusually, no one was home except my cousin and me. Halfway through my meal, I suddenly had a wicked thought. I mashed the food in my mouth into a pulp, then pretended that my mouth was empty and tried to kiss my cousin. When my cousin saw me suddenly hug her, she instinctively offered her mouth. When she was French kissing me, she suddenly realized that there was something in my mouth and struggled a little, but I held her hand firmly and straddled her. She couldn't move at all and had no choice but to accept the food that I forced into her mouth with my tongue.

I pulled my tongue back and commanded her, "Eat it! Don't spit it out!"

From the past until now, all our playful interactions—caresses, baths, physical kisses (later she even dared to kiss my whole body)—have always been my cousin's command, and I've always obediently followed. This time, when I suddenly commanded her, she was a little angry, but more surprised. She initially wanted to spit it out, but seeing my half-pleading, half-commanding expression, she hesitated for a moment, and then actually swallowed it!

After swallowing, my cousin opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue, which slightly curled up halfway, with a little food residue still on it, as if to show that she had really eaten it. Then she turned around and commanded me, "See, I ate it, now it's your turn!"

I was shocked and fell to the ground in fright. I didn't expect my cousin to be so daring, not only swallowing the food I had bitten, but also trying to feed me! I sat frozen on the floor, watching my cousin excitedly select dishes from the table and then feed them to her. She took a couple of bites, then used her chopsticks to put a small mouthful of rice into her mouth, chewing while giving me a wicked grin.

I was completely stunned, forgetting to run away, and watched as my cousin pushed me down, pinning me to the ground and turning her head towards me. My immediate thought was to keep my mouth tightly shut, never to open it, but having kissed so many times, I instinctively opened my mouth and stuck out my tongue… She fed me the food from her mouth, and I instantly felt like vomiting! I now realized that no matter how delicious the food, once someone else has chewed it into bits and pieces, the feeling of holding it in your mouth is absolutely disgusting!

After my cousin put that lump of scum into my mouth, she didn't let me off the hook. She kept stirring my tongue and the scum together with her tongue. I felt disgusted but also comfortable. She made my mouth full of a mixture of their saliva and scum. There were food residues on both sides of my teeth.

My cousin's smile was as radiant as an angel's, but her words were as terrifying as a demon's whisper: "My darling Xiaoyu, I just swallowed it as you told me to! If you spit it out..." My cousin thought for a moment, looked at the dishes on the table, and said, "I'll feed you all the leftovers on that table like this!"

I was completely dumbfounded. I forced myself to swallow it, but as soon as it went down, I felt nauseous and almost vomited. My throat was filled with the sour smell of stomach acid.

Seeing that I was obedient, my cousin smiled smugly and said, "Hmph! Let's see if you dare to order me around again!"

I reflexively retorted, "Sure, what's there to be afraid of!"

My cousin looked at me with a sarcastic expression and raised her voice, "Oh? Then I'll feed you again!"

I was actually quite scared and wanted to admit defeat, but after all, I was still a junior high school kid and too impulsive. I actually retorted again, "Fine, I'll feed you then, who's afraid of who!"

Then, we ate that meal for almost two hours. We were like arguing and bickering. Each of us had a mouthful of food in our mouths, and we tried to pick the food that the other hated the most. After chewing it into a pulp in our mouths, we fed it to each other while French kissing. At first, we both felt disgusted, our brows furrowed and our faces contorted in pain. But somehow, despite how disgusting it was, we gradually became addicted after feeding each other a dozen or so bites.

You might find it hard to imagine, but you'll know once you try it. When you watch your partner mash up delicious food, and then you put it in your mouth, you'll first feel three sensations: "wet," "soft," and "salty." That's your partner's saliva mixed with the food paste. Then, during a French kiss, it's constantly being stirred in both of your mouths. Besides feeling the tingling sensation of your tongue rubbing against your partner's, you'll also feel the paste-like foreign objects flowing around in your mouth. Some get stuck in the gaps between your teeth, some stick to the base of your tongue, and some are stuck at the junction of your front teeth and lips. You'll experience a very disgusting, very strange, and very exciting feeling.

When you see the mouth, tongue, teeth, lips, and corners of your mouth of the person you like covered in food scraps you handed her, and even some saliva and grime dribbling from the corners of her mouth, you feel a sense of conquest. This sense of conquest is even stronger when you see her enjoying the pleasure of French kissing, yet also feeling disgusted and frowning, looking like she's about to vomit but also enjoying it—that coy, hesitant expression!

My cousin and I discovered the new game "muddy tongue kissing." Although it was a bit disgusting, it excited us immensely. We tried everything edible: desserts, ice cream, cookies, drinks, food, fruit… We even tried mixing sweet and salty foods, with one person holding food in their mouth while the other held ice. Finally, we even tried inedible things—toothpaste, semen, and vaginal fluid.

We'd put toothpaste on each other's teeth and then "brush" them with our tongues! But afterwards… our tongues felt cool and spicy, a bit uncomfortable. I wouldn't recommend anyone try this = =

As for semen, although she had eaten it before, and I had eaten her vaginal fluid, we had never eaten our own before. At first, it was quite difficult to overcome our mental barriers. It was really hard to accept, but in the end, we still dared to try. She had the semen I had just ejaculated in her mouth, and I had the vaginal fluid flowing out of her vagina in my mouth. We mixed it with our tongues in our mouths for a long time before swallowing it together.

(The psychological impact of eating one's own semen is very strong, please use with caution.)

Although our games decreased after I moved into their house, they became increasingly decadent. My feelings for my cousin also deepened. My cousin wasn't oblivious; although she didn't realize it at first, she only found out I liked her when I threw a tantrum after she got her first boyfriend in high school.

My cousin wasn't completely indifferent to me either; she also had a strange feeling for me. So, even while she was dating, she continued our caressing games. When I was pursuing other girls, she would act as my strategist and give me advice. This strange relationship led us to develop a unique personality trait—"not easily jealous."

When couples are dating, if a guy stares at a girl wearing a short skirt or something that's revealing, the girl will usually get angry. But my cousin would accompany her husband in admiring such women, even discussing their thighs, breasts, and faces with him. When other girls were on the phone with her husband, she rarely questioned them like a typical girl would.

I treated my ex-girlfriends the same way. However, my cousin was much luckier than me. Most men would rather have a girlfriend like my cousin, but women certainly wouldn't want a boyfriend like me… So my previous girlfriends all got really angry about this, thinking I didn't love them enough. Otherwise, why could I so casually talk to them about how handsome or well-built other men are… Sigh!

I seem to have gone off-topic and strayed a bit from the topic of "sex"...

Oh well, I'm tired of writing today. I'll write about my other, more decadent caressing games with my cousin another day.

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