New transformation

page views:1 Publication date:2023-09-11

For the next while, Xiaoying and I talked a lot. Most of the time, Xiaoying did the talking, and I listened.

We recounted our journey from our first meeting until now, the ups and downs, the happy times and the heartaches.

We opened up to each other completely, just like when we first met. Except for things related to my father and Xiaoying,

we shared almost all our secrets. Releasing everything that had been weighing on my heart brought

a of relief. As

we talked more deeply, our feelings for each other seemed to grow stronger… “Honey, I might… I might be pregnant…” Finally, Xiaoying revealed

the thing I most wanted to know. She lowered her head, not letting me see her expression. Although

I had concealed the truth with a white lie, she still seemed very unsure of herself when she spoke of it.

“Really?” I asked, feigning surprise.

"I mean, it's possible, I haven't verified it yet..." Xiaoying took a deep breath.

We've been having sex frequently lately, though it's been alternating with my father. This is the only

reason she dared to tell me this.

"I know that IUDs can malfunction. Getting pregnant, isn't that perfect?

We were already discussing having a second child, weren't we? You were supposed to have your IUD removed at the end of the year, so this avoids that trouble,

" I said, feigning delight, though I wasn't sure if my expression was genuine. After the

emotional , I felt much better. The reason I said this wasn't because I wanted this

child whose father wasn't even certain, but... but to test Xiaoying one last time, to gauge her final thoughts and attitude.

Her decision would reveal whether she regretted it,

and what the relative weight of her feelings for me and my father truly was...

"No." Xiaoying rejected me almost without hesitation. She

blurted it out without thinking. She probably thought the same as me: if she got pregnant, the father's identity would

be impossible to determine, and even if the child was the father's, Xiaoying wouldn't want to give birth. Xiaoying's answer, though brief,

comforted me.

"We're not prepared for a second child at all, and neither of us has taken care of our health. If we do

get pregnant, we don't know if our bodies will be healthy when the baby is conceived, so we can't keep this

child ..." After her initial refusal, Xiaoying composed herself and began to explain

her reasons slowly and deliberately.

"Really not? If you get pregnant, you'll have an abortion? It's a life after all..." I tried

to persuade Xiaoying, though my words didn't reflect my true feelings, to see if her attitude was firm.

"Then I'll do some good deeds to accumulate good karma for our family and atone for our sins. We absolutely can't keep this child. At least

we'll try for another child next year, okay? Honey... I'll definitely give you another healthy baby next year..." Xiaoying

's attitude was very firm; she was determined not to keep this child, but she also agreed to have a second child next year. I

pretended disappointed and nodded, but as I lowered my head to drink my red wine, a hint of relief and joy flashed in my eyes. Pregnancy

wasn't Xiaoying's wish; she insisted on aborting the child, which made her stance clear. I didn't want to delve too

deeply into it. What's done is done; if she's pregnant, there's no changing it, I can only force myself to accept reality.

"Eat something, let's just have some. We only drank red wine, we haven't eaten any steak..." Xiaoying cut me

a few pieces of steak with her knife and fork. We'd been talking the whole time, and the atmosphere had been rather tense, so we hadn't eaten a single bite of steak.

"Okay, you should eat some too..." After the conversation, I felt much more relaxed and had a bit of

an appetite . " Tomorrow

... honey, will you come with me to the hospital? Okay? If I'm really pregnant, we'll just

abort the baby. I hope you'll be there for me then..." Xiaoying chewed her steak lightly, probably not , because all her senses weren't on her tongue. "Okay, I'll take tomorrow afternoon off to go to the hospital with you..." Since everything was going to be salvaged, I also had to let go of the past, seize the present, prepare for the future, and try to get back to where we started with Xiaoying. "Honey, if I have an abortion , I want to go to my mom's to recuperate. I don't want to stay at home." "Why bother your mom? You can stay home, right ? Your father is there to take care of you..." I was surprised that Xiaoying wanted to go to her mother-in-law's house to recuperate after her abortion. "No, it's better to recuperate at my mom's. After all, my father is a man, and it's inconvenient for him to deal with gynecological issues ..." Xiaoying said softly, looking down at her steak. Actually, she and her father were already very close. She just wanted to keep her distance from him before I found out about their relationship. Indeed, if she didn't refuse, onlookers would think there was something ambiguous between her and her father-in-law. It's not like a father-in -law take care of his daughter-in-law, but it's not like a father-in-law taking care of a daughter-in-law with gynecological problems. " Okay, let's talk about it after the check-up tomorrow..." After dinner, Xiaoying and I didn't take a taxi home. Instead, like on our first date, we walked hand in hand down the street, looking at the familiar street scenes, enjoying the night, and talking about topics we both liked. We hadn't had . Tonight seemed to be the night we talked the most since we got married. Xiaoying and I were both enjoying this moment, as if we had forgotten all our troubles, our minds filled with memories and sweetness of our first date . Sweet moments always pass quickly, and before we knew it, Xiaoying and I had walked home. My father was still awake; it was early, and he was watching TV. Following the typical family conversation, my father and I...

We had a conversation, and because talking with Xiaoying helped me let go of some of my worries, my conversation with my father became more natural.

At first, my father was a bit reserved, but he gradually opened up. Xiaoying went to her bedroom and didn't come out again, probably

unsure how to handle our conversation, so she chose to avoid it. I brewed

a pot of tea

, and my father and I drank and chatted. I told him that Xiaoying might be pregnant and that we would be going to the hospital the next day for a checkup and abortion. In most families, even if you have to abort a child, you should tell your parents, as it involves the family bloodline. When my father heard the news of Xiaoying's pregnancy, he seemed very shocked; he almost dropped his teacup. But after the shock came a complex mix of emotions. Someone else might have been excited , but I read excitement and fear in my father's expression. He also doubted whether the child was his. When he heard that Xiaoying and I were planning to abort the child… When the abortion was performed, a hint of relief , but also a trace of heartache. Perhaps it was heartache for Xiaoying to suffer the pain of abortion, or perhaps it was heartache for the child that was likely theirs—the fruit of their love. But he knew, rationally speaking, that the child couldn't stay. Although he had a selfish side, hoping to have a child with Xiaoying, he could only dream of it. After all, it was a child, and if the child were born, no one could bear the responsibility . If something happened later, the child would be the biggest victim. The father's expression was complex— heartache, agitation, but… More than anything, there was regret and self-blame. My father didn't object to the abortion; perhaps he knew the child was likely his, and that this child should never come into the world. That night, Xiaoying and I slept in each other's arms, feeling the warmth of our growing affection. For my father, however, it was probably a sleepless night. The next afternoon, I borrowed a car from a colleague; after all, I had many things to do that day, and having a car would be more convenient. Then I picked Xiaoying up from her company. Afterwards, I drove home first. Since we might be going to my mother-in-law's to recuperate, Xiaoying needed some clothes, so I packed some clean clothes and toiletries at home to prepare. Father... My father sat blankly on the sofa at home, watching Xiaoying pack her things. His attention wasn't on the TV; his eyes were mostly on Xiaoying's belly, where his child, the fruit of his love for his beloved, was likely growing. Only he and Xiaoying . Perhaps it was his unborn child, to be aborted before it even arrived. How could he bear it? As he left, the reluctance in his eyes was undisguised, like a final farewell to his unborn child—a farewell that felt like a separation of life and death. Even if outsiders saw , no one would think much of it; they would simply assume it was a grandfather reluctant to part with his unborn grandchild. My father didn't accompany us to the hospital; he made an excuse to cook for me at home. Perhaps he didn't want to face that possible separation . Finally, we arrived at the hospital, registered, and began the examination. Lying on the ultrasound bed, Xiaoying nervously gripped my hand tightly. I gently held her hand in return for encouragement. The doctor began examining Xiaoying while she sat down. Xiaoying and I were extremely nervous; we wanted to know the results, yet we were also terrified of them. Finally, the examination was finished. The female doctor looked at us, hesitant to speak, which terrified Xiaoying and me. "You're not pregnant. It's a delayed period, a menstrual disorder," the doctor said, leaving Xiaoying and me stunned. Before, I thought Xiaoying was 99% pregnant. I had even packed Xiaoying's luggage in the car, preparing to go to my mother-in-law's house; I had even called her beforehand. But the results were beyond my expectations. "Are you really not pregnant? Are you sure?" Hearing the doctor's words, Xiaoying seemed no longer weak; she suddenly sat up on the ultrasound table, startling the doctor. "You're definitely not pregnant, I'm sure. Don't be disappointed, don't lose heart. If you want a child, don't rush it." The female doctor mistook us for a young couple eager to have a child, and was actually afraid we'd be . But she didn't realize that our thoughts were the opposite of hers. "A woman's menstrual cycle is generally 235 days, with an average of 28 days. A few days earlier or later is still within the normal range, and cycle length varies from person to person. However, if menstruation hasn't occurred by the expected number of days, it's considered delayed menstruation . Various factors affecting the female central nervous system, the hypothalamus-pituitary-ovarian axis , and the uterus can all lead to delayed menstruation. This can occur in ovulatory menstrual cycles as well as anovulatory menstrual cycles." The female doctor began to explain the reasons at length, while Xiaoying and I listened carefully, although we were very excited. "There are many reasons for delayed menstruation, such as chronic gynecological diseases, frequent use of birth control pills , endocrine disorders, excessive mental stress, etc. I'll prescribe some medicine for you . In terms of daily life, you should maintain a regular routine, get plenty of rest, avoid overexertion, and especially during menstruation, keep warm and dry. Avoid excessive dieting, keep a cheerful mood, strengthen your exercise, and improve your physical fitness." After the female doctor finished speaking, she began to write the prescription for Xiaoying. "Husband..." Xiaoying turned around, hugged me tightly, and cried tears of joy. My heart was the same; I was very excited. Thankfully, this was the result I wanted most. Thankfully, it was all a false alarm. If we weren't in the hospital now, I definitely would have cried my eyes out too. That fortune teller was really accurate; indeed, this hardship and trouble are over, and everything is going smoothly. "Okay, wife, you don't have to suffer from an abortion anymore, don't cry..." I hugged Xiaoying and gently patted her.

She was excited because she hadn't conceived her father's child, while I was excited, but only to prevent Xiaoying from suffering from

an abortion , since I was currently playing the role of an unsuspecting party.

We got some medication, left the hospital, and looked at the azure sky. The entire process of entering and leaving the hospital had only

taken half an hour, but Xiaoying and I had experienced a profound emotional shift. Now…

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