Is she a virgin?

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-23

Around 2012, I had a girlfriend who was a middle school teacher.

At the time, I was still a virgin, and my thoughts were relatively simple. I felt the future was too far away, and I wasn't sure I could give her what she wanted, so we never had any physical intimacy. My roommate happened to be away on a business trip for a while, so when my girlfriend found out I was living alone, she naturally moved in with me. At night, I was like an idiot because I couldn't get over my own inhibitions, so I didn't touch her for several days.

When I tried to sleep, she wouldn't let me, tickling me (I'm incredibly ticklish). Every time I got impatient, I would pin her down, lock her hands in place, and "threaten" her that if she kept playing with fire, I would really have sex with her, pretending to force a kiss. She would turn her head away to stop me. After a few days of this, I couldn't resist anymore. One day, I straddled her, took off my clothes, and pressed my penis against hers. She probably realized I was going to do it for real. I had only inserted a little bit, maybe not even half of my glans, when she said it hurt. I immediately sobered up. I got off her, suppressing my lust.

I don't remember what she said, but in the end, she covered my face with a pillowcase and started giving me oral sex. It was the first time my penis had been enveloped by a warm mouth, and I was utterly shocked and felt incredibly good! I was probably too excited and nervous, and I didn't ejaculate. Later I realized I'm not very sensitive and have never had oral sex before. She probably saw how hard I was holding back and wanted to help me release. A few

days later, my roommate came back, and she went back to her school's dorm. One night, she asked me to stay at her place, saying that her roommate and her teacher were on duty in the student dorms, and she was alone. I was timid and afraid of being caught, so I kept refusing. She went from cajoling to threatening to break up with me and insisting I come. I reluctantly went, and that night, I had sex with her in her school's classroom/dorm. It was dark, I couldn't see anything, but I could feel a lot of fluid down there. The next day she told me that blood had stained three sheets.

I never doubted that she wasn't a virgin. Until one time, she told me about a female colleague she was close to who was getting married. Her fiancé didn't know she wasn't a virgin, so the colleague was very worried it would affect the marriage. My girlfriend suggested she set the wedding date when her period started, hoping to get away with it.

She said it casually, but I took it to heart. It immediately reminded me of how she gave me oral sex the first time, and how she forced me to go to her dorm the first time. I wondered if she'd used the same trick on me. I know some people will say, "She's already given herself to you, what more do you want?" I just felt a little annoyed at being treated like a fool.

I've rambled on so much, but I never mentioned this before the breakup, and I've never told anyone. Bringing it up here for the first time feels like the past is swirling up like fog, then disappearing again…

[The End]

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Is she a virgin?

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