Forwarded from user 69: Twelve principles for making friends

page views:1 Publication date:2013-11-26

Most of these meet my psychological requirements; I'm still learning. Posted: 2013-07-24 Author: Yaxing Popularity: 473 Single men who don't meet the requirements, please don't add us. Thank you for your cooperation! Our twelve principles for making friends are as follows: 1. Must have at least a college degree. Because I find it hard to imagine having good communication with a couple or single man lacking cultural literacy. 2. Must be a white-collar worker or above with a formal job. I don't associate with unemployed people, petty criminals, or migrant workers. I believe these three types of couples or single men are neither hygienic nor provide a sense of security or responsibility. 3. Must not have severe nearsightedness, be physically and mentally healthy, and have a decent appearance and temperament. I strongly dislike slovenly men and women who are unkempt and don't care about their appearance. 4. Must be between 30 and 45 years old. The male partner's height must be between 168cm and 180cm, and weight between 130 and 160 jin (approximately 65kg). The ideal height for a wife is between 158cm and 168cm, and her weight is between 90 and 120 jin (45-60kg). The same requirements apply to single men. [Therefore, those who pride themselves on being skinny will have to look elsewhere, as my husband and I do not agree with the idea that skinny is beautiful, haha.] 5. Although we are a couple seeking friends, we do not exclude excellent single men who meet our principles. [In principle, we do not accept married single men, because we have experienced situations where the wives of married men come to QQ and make a scene, crying, threatening suicide. We have experienced this kind of pointless farce, so we are afraid of getting involved in marital discord.] 6. I am not seeking single women. There are all sorts of undesirable people online. I have had a lesson learned the hard way when a single man took my bag, phone, and other valuables while I was showering. Therefore, for personal safety reasons, please refrain from asking to meet up with strangers online. I do not accept invitations for one-on-one dates from any men who have not had any real-life interactions with my spouse and me. However, I will consider accepting invitations from men with whom my husband and I have already interacted in real life, provided my husband is unavailable. This is a bottom line agreed upon between us. 7. We don't want to associate with people who live too far away and are only looking for casual online chats for fantasy, as there's no real meaning in such interactions. We don't want pointless and fruitless chatter. We generally don't accept single men from the same city either, because we're afraid of encountering people of low character who could cause future harassment and problems. Therefore, we prioritize making friends in the Yangtze River Delta region of East China. We are looking for excellent couples and excellent single men with whom we can have long-term relationships and frequent meetings. 8. I require the other person to have excellent physical characteristics, refined skills, be rugged but not rude, wild but not thuggish; have endurance, good manners, sincere character, honesty, and friendliness; be able to understand women's feelings, appreciate romance, and be good at creating atmosphere. I strongly dislike men who are dull and rarely speak. Ideally, the other person should have experience with swapping or threesomes, as this facilitates communication. Because it's difficult to communicate and exchange ideas with people who lack experience, I have no interest in answering their endless questions, nor am I obligated to teach them what to do or not to do. [Furthermore, I want to clarify: I do not engage in pornography or SM games. To prevent accidents and for the sake of both parties, condoms must be used during sex. Other than these three points, any other form of sex is fine.] 9. Men should be generous, not stingy. If you can't even feed yourself and live a meager life, then you shouldn't be out socializing. I advise you to save your travel and hotel expenses for a comfortable life. As the saying goes, "When people are well-fed and warm, they think of lust," but I despise men who spend lavishly on women. These nouveau riche men are the most uncultured and insecure. I am not a prostitute, nor do I lack financial resources. There's no need for you to flaunt your wealth in front of me like a nouveau riche. I greatly admire and respect men who are generous without being extravagant, and frugal without being stingy. 10. We strongly dislike those who don't communicate beforehand, only make last-minute arrangements, and impulsively message someone to arrange a meeting. These are the most tasteless men, and we have no respect for them. Humans aren't animals; we need connection, especially in romantic relationships. That connection comes from frequent, honest, friendly, and humorous communication beforehand. If you struggle to communicate even online, if you can't find the right feeling or reason to meet, what's the point of a forced meeting? Many couples complain about unsuccessful online relationships, saying they didn't feel good afterward—that's treating themselves like animals. Meeting someone without honest and friendly communication, without understanding their personality or habits, without even seeing their photos or videos, and not knowing what they look like—is like mating with an animal. How can there be any connection?! For me, let alone sex, even sitting together for tea would be incredibly awkward and uncomfortable. Therefore, we never accept invitations to meet without prior communication and understanding. Unlike some couples who agree to meet, travel great distances to invite each other for dinner or tea, only to find they have no feelings for each other and then make excuses like being on their period, standing each other up—why didn't they do that earlier?! Why not communicate beforehand?! It makes the other person come all the way excitedly, only to leave disappointed. We usually avoid meeting in person. When we do meet, there's no awkwardness or unfamiliarity; we interact easily and pleasantly, like old friends, with both of us eager to get closer and embrace each other. This makes the other person come with passion and leave with reluctance. That's because we value frequent, honest, friendly, and humorous communication beforehand. Therefore, our friendships are always very successful. We never engage in one-night stands or casual sex. The couples and single men we've dated become close family friends, staying in touch and meeting up regularly. 11. Couples and single men who meet the above requirements, if you are sincere, please send a recent, clear full-body photo. As a reciprocal gesture, I will also send you a current photo. Then, both parties can arrange a time for video verification before deciding on further communication. [Video verification can only be done on weekends or evenings. Other times are not suitable for video calls at work.] Once a relationship is established, especially for single men seeking friendship, please communicate more with my husband at appropriate times. I hope you men can become friends and buddies. I cannot imagine how awkward and unpleasant it would be for two men to hang out if they don't communicate well or are even strangers. Only when men are harmonious can there be a good process and atmosphere. Because our friendship is not primarily about sexual satisfaction, but rather seeking a sense of passion and excitement, when I see my beloved husband or wife intimately with someone else, my psychological and physiological feelings already exceed my sexual needs. If it were merely about seeking physical satisfaction, I wouldn't need an exchange; my husband can fully satisfy me. Although we have only been married for 8 years, it doesn't prevent us from pursuing and yearning for another realm of humanity. With stable jobs and children reaching adulthood (we don't have children yet), middle-aged couples today crave a higher quality of spiritual life. In a few years, we too will enter middle age. While family bonds are strengthening, passion is rapidly waning. We know each other too well, losing the initial freshness and mystery. A sense of aesthetic fatigue has set in in our marriage and our marital life. Therefore, we chose to reflect on and address these symptoms of fatigue and boredom, to rediscover what we've lost… Our relationship is great! Couples with poor relationships only fight their own battles! They will never share the most beautiful things in life… We need a different level of understanding, one that can only be truly appreciated through personal experience. 12. We hope our partner will abide by the rules, strictly distinguishing between love and friendship, lover and husband, sex and love, and not interfering with each other's lives and families. In the four years we've been involved in online dating, we've received over ten thousand profiles and self-introductions from couples and single men. Based on their circumstances, through communication, we've met and connected with many excellent couples and single men. We never engage in one-night stands or casual sex games. We've become good friends with the couples and single men we've swapped with, and we keep in touch regularly. Therefore, we highly value character, sincerity, and friendliness, especially a positive attitude in our interactions. Please carefully review these 12 requirements. If you believe you meet our criteria, we can try to communicate slowly and develop a connection, based on honesty and friendliness. If not, there's no need to continue contacting each other, as we don't want meaningless and fruitless chatter, which would waste everyone's time. Everything has rules, and we hope everyone is sincere, friendly, and abides by them. Only genuine and sincere people create and follow rules; those who lack sincerity trample on them. Playing the swapping game without following the rules will only lead to endless trouble. If you dislike or disregard rules, please look elsewhere. I never deal with people who break the rules. Please understand, and best of luck.

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Forwarded from user 69: Twelve principles for making friends

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