Repost: A woman's distress

page views:1 Publication date:2013-12-14

I'm 33 years old, a very sexy and beautiful woman. My son is 15. I gave birth to him when I was 18, so he's 16 now (by Chinese reckoning). We often shower together. One time, he got sexually aroused, and I was penetrated. We both had strong orgasms because he also discovered I was masturbating.
My husband is away on business and has a mistress. He already has severe erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation, and I often cry. He comforts me. Actually, I love my son very much, and I don't even realize I consider him my lover. We both have a habit of sleeping naked, which we've had since we were little. He also used to touch my breasts while sleeping since he was little. But when he entered me, I was drunk and sleeping very soundly. I didn't expect him to enter me. I am very beautiful and sexy, but I don't know what my son thinks of me.
I'm used to this kind of sexual relationship now, but I feel it's not right to continue like this in the long run. Actually, I noticed when I bathed my son before that he was quite developed, looking at least eighteen. I've also dreamed about having sex with him. I feel like I don't know what to do now. I know other mothers of only children and single mothers, and they say as long as it doesn't affect society and no one knows, it's fine. I'm watching my son grow up now, and last month I felt really wrong and even measured his penis—it's nineteen centimeters. I have very strong orgasms every time we have sex. My husband has very poor sexual ability, and now I can't stop.
I don't think there's anything wrong with my son being a mother; he's been familiar with my body since he was little. But I really didn't know he would have sex with me. When I was asleep, I found out that we had already finished having sex. I don't really know what to say. My husband isn't home, and he's having an affair outside. Is it too much? Once, I had sex with another man, and my son didn't eat for two days. Now I think my son loves me very much. I know it's wrong, but seeing him like that, I still indulge him.
My son loves me very much, and I was afraid of hurting his self-esteem by refusing him outright. He's a good student. We used to shower and sleep together, even naked. He always wanted to touch my breasts while sleeping, but I never expected him to penetrate me. Maybe it's because I'm too good-looking and beautiful. I didn't expect my son to do this. My husband is often away from home, and I also have needs. My son's penis is well-developed, and I'm a bit infatuated with him. I know it's wrong, but will refusing him outright hurt his self-esteem?
My son and I have a very deep bond, and I never thought it would come to this. He gives me very strong orgasms every time, and his penis is over 18 centimeters long. I'm a little dependent on him. I'm in a lot of pain now, because it's shameful. I've found that many of my friends and relatives are in similar situations. Am I immoral? I have an only child, and my husband is away doing business. There are quite a few like this in Wenzhou. I never thought I would become like this myself. I feel like I'm a very lewd woman. After my son found out I masturbated, he became very interested in me. I didn't refuse him properly. Now I don't know how to stop my son from being obsessed with me. I want to find someone else to satisfy him, but he refuses.
I probably didn't realize I was wrong, and I felt I needed it too. His penis is very large, a full 18 centimeters, which satisfies me a lot, and he's very obedient. My husband and I have a bad relationship, and I see my son as my support and hope. I never imagined I was an incestuous woman. I used to bathe him and wash his genitals, but I never thought he would do this to me. I couldn't control myself. I feel terrible, I feel disgusting. Should I see a psychologist? I have a sexual relationship with my son, and no one else knows. Will this affect my son and me? I've also noticed that some of my friends are only children or from single-parent families, and people don't talk about it. I feel like I'm not a good woman. I've gotten used to my son after he developed, and I don't treat him like a man, just a child. We always bathe together. I'm afraid to sleep alone at night, so we always sleep together. I've been very tired lately because of the house renovation. I've been sleeping naked for years, and so has my son. But I never imagined he would do this. Afterwards, I felt it was okay since we'd been alone together too much. We've continued to do it often since then. How can I change this? I need help. I really don't know what to do. I'm so frustrated.

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