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Just how alluring is sexual desire?
Why do so many people travel to Dongguan to spend money? The answer is simple, yet classic: because everyone harbors an inescapable sexual desire. Sexual desire is truly captivating; it makes people travel thousands of miles, even if it means living in fear.
Regarding sexual desire, almost everyone can see the moral issues involved from the very beginning, to the point that when criticizing someone's character, people often bring up their sexual desire. This means that moral judgment related to sexual desire is the most basic judgment—everyone can do it, but no one can control it. Over time, when people talk about sexual desire, they talk about how promiscuous others are, but when faced with beauty themselves, they are captivated and unable to control their bodies.
The ancient Ten Commandments are considered the ten ultimate principles of conduct given to mankind by God. One of them is "Thou shalt not commit adultery." Jesus' interpretation of this is incredibly strict: "Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has committed adultery." This means that you shouldn't even think about her; once you are tempted, sin has already been committed. This is an absolute bottom line principle, and its interpretation has been debated throughout history. Some understand it as the most obvious original sin; others say it means no one can avoid committing adultery; still others believe that since having such thoughts is a sin, it means God tells us that everyone is sinful, so no one has the right to condemn another's adultery. But what's even more interesting is that when people discuss adultery, they seem to love seizing the moral high ground, immediately judging others for their lustful desires, while they seem to have the courage to confidently say, "I'm fine," when it comes to whether they themselves have such problems.
(Image caption: The Garden of Eden in the Bible, image from the internet)
In fact, most of the outstanding figures recorded in the Bible failed to uphold the principles of sexual desire. King David, the renowned author of the Psalms, possessed unwavering faith and was deeply pleasing to God. However, he was utterly unable to control himself when it came to women. He saw his subordinate's wife bathing, seduced her, and afterwards, instead of repenting, plotted to kill his subordinate and take the woman for himself. In his later years, terminally ill and bedridden, he even demanded that his men bring him an 18-year-old virgin to sleep beside him. David's fascination with women and sexual desire haunted him throughout his life. King Solomon, a man of immense power and great achievements, possessed divine wisdom, yet he was also deeply infatuated with women, especially Egyptian beauties. His palace was filled with hundreds, even thousands, of women; he was truly intoxicated by their bodies throughout his life.
Just how alluring is sexual desire? Perhaps only God knows. As a book of life, the Bible's statements are so profound that they are difficult for us to comprehend. On one hand, it simply and clearly tells you not to commit adultery, that everyone is sinful; on the other hand, it confronts human sin head-on, without concealment, revealing that even among God's most outstanding chosen people, the struggle with sexual desire still exists. The depth and complexity of human nature transcend simple moral judgments.
A more profound proposition is that while other animals in this world are seasonally estrous, their sexual desire controlled by the changing seasons, humans are not. A person's sexual desire can suddenly surge at any time and place. God is telling humanity a hidden truth: sexual desire is so alluring, so beautiful, yet humans cannot grasp or control it.
Don't think that only the ancient Bible so profoundly questions human sexuality; traditional Chinese Confucian culture views sexual desire as a monstrous threat, considering lust the root of all evil. It seems that sexual desire and promiscuity have corrupted China's long-standing morality, leading to a decline in moral values. Throughout history, people have used these values to educate future generations, and moral education related to sexual desire permeates our lives: parents always treat early romantic relationships as a major crisis; sex workers are always relegated to the lowest rung of society, seemingly the greatest destroyers of social morality; those in public habitually preach benevolence and morality, while secretly engaging in immoral and immoral acts. Over time, on the issue of sexual desire, the Chinese have become the biggest liars.
But these issues don't stand up to scrutiny. Don't we see that patriarchs preach moral education, yet they tirelessly take in one, two, three, four, and even five wives and concubines? Having multiple wives and concubines is one of the hallmarks of a successful Chinese man. Emperors were even more exemplary in this regard. They lectured the people on the Three Cardinal Guides and Five Constant Virtues, but back at court, three thousand concubines awaited their use. Many women died young in the palace, never getting to sleep with the emperor. Many emperors, after plunging into the bodies of so many women, quickly became exhausted and died. People seem unwilling to lightly question whether these emperors, these patriarchs, when they took sleeping with so many women for granted, ever deeply considered the issue of order related to sexual desire.
In fact, this hypocritical phenomenon is ubiquitous. Even those who practice Buddhism understand that sexual desire is a human entanglement and burden, and they adopt a form of abstinence. It is said that monks, in order to suppress their burgeoning sexual desires, obtained photographs of the slowly decomposing corpses of young women. They would look at several photos daily, observing how a beautiful and alluring woman's body turned into a pile of bones. This supposedly created a conditioned reflex; whenever a monk saw a beautiful woman's body, he would immediately recall that pile of bones, seemingly preventing his sexual organs from becoming erect.
The renowned Buddhist master Hongyi, also known as Li Shutong, the talented writer of the Republic of China era who penned the famous lines "Outside the long pavilion, along the ancient road, fragrant grasses stretch to the horizon," was a classic handsome and talented man in Shanghai in his early years, adored by countless women. He was known for his womanizing and philandering, having slept with numerous Shanghai beauties. In middle age, he suddenly felt that sexual desire and worldly concerns were the greatest burdens of life, choosing to become a monk and severing all ties with the world. The problem is that these practices of seeking inner peace through escapism are merely external behaviors. The greatest desires always originate from within; external temptations are merely the final straw that breaks the camel's back. The human heart is an infinitely dark place; how can one truly control oneself? Before his passing, Master Hongyi wrote "a mixture of sorrow and joy," four words that unintentionally revealed the complexities of his humanity. Sorrow and joy have always been the home of desire; they intertwine, making humanity vulnerable to both gentle temptation and quiet sighs. This is the allure of sexual desire—everyone is its defeated foe, everyone embraces it with open arms. Some say sexual desire is a natural need, unrelated to morality; others say it's the culprit behind moral decay. People have debated this universal sexual desire for millennia.
What kind of order of sexual desire is truly reasonable? Perhaps we must return to the Bible for reflection, because a single biblical story clearly explains both fundamental principles and human weakness. It describes the beauty of sexual desire while also confronting the evils of unrestrained indulgence. First, the fundamental principle is clearly that adultery is forbidden. Sexual desire should not be indulged. Sexual desire within marriage is praiseworthy, but sexual desire outside of marriage becomes a human error. This standard is extremely harsh. If you see a woman's body outside of marriage and have thoughts about her, you commit adultery. What does this mean? It means no one can do it unless you're not human. In fact, the Ten Commandments in the Bible are such principles of order and bottom line, providing a coordinate system for human society, a starting point for judgment. Under this starting point and coordinate system, each person can examine their own life and meaning, and determine where they truly are. It's not about using such ultimate principles to demand things of a physical person. Secondly, the minor principle is absolute skepticism about human nature. The Bible's questioning and doubt about human nature leaves no room for ambiguity. There are no truly good people in this world; everyone is dark. No one can become a good person through inner cultivation or conscious effort. For example, Abraham, known as the father of faith and the patriarch of the Jewish people, was full of flaws, especially regarding women. First, he dared not tell others that he had a wife, instead lying that his wife was his sister, and then he slept with his maidservant—a case of promiscuity. After his wife's death, Abraham, though already a centenarian, still married an 18-year-old girl. The human need for physical comfort, the allure of sexual desire, is an abyss that humanity itself cannot, and dares not, confront. Some pretend not to see it, some feign purity, and some use a metaphysical notion of purity to attack others, believing that others' impurity equates to their own purity. Such are just a few examples; the various darker aspects of human nature unfold one after another.
So my question suddenly became clear. Regarding the principles of order in sexual desire, the ultimate goal might be to allow us to examine the darker aspects of human nature through sexual desire, rather than indulging ourselves through it, nor believing ourselves saints by suppressing sexual desire, and certainly not hiding in our private lives sleeping with female TV hosts, keeping mistresses, indulging in the most debauched ways, while standing on the podium hurling insults, saying that the moral standards and spiritual civilization of this era and society are all ruined by people like us, and then using a large police force to round us up.
Yes, sexual desire is a typical private matter. Someone lacking the capacity for thorough skepticism about human nature is incapable of articulating more profound common sense here. For anyone, sexual desire that hasn't undergone thorough skepticism doesn't qualify as sexual desire. Pretending is useless, haha, and vice versa. Anyone who, facing sexual desire, gives up entirely, letting their life forever resemble an erect penis, is also meaningless.
Only when a normal person fully understands the allure of sexual desire, while simultaneously recognizing the incurable flaws of human nature, can they learn compassionate understanding and true love. Otherwise, your love is either lust or a transaction. How many sexual encounters, how many seemingly beautiful marriages, are likely the same? Try it and see. Unrestrained talent is affectation. Similarly, unrestrained sexual desire is shallowness, utterly unrelated to love. Of course, you can pretend to understand love, then, once you discover your lover's flaws, you move on to another, until you're old, your body devoid of desire, leaving only a pile of your own flaws and desires, living on fantasies until the very end.
Alluring sexual desire is the driving force of our lives, but it will also inevitably become our grave. Am I being too cruel by saying this?

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