Sharing my experience in making friends

page views:1 Publication date:2014-12-22

Those who genuinely connect with their spouses are truly sincere, but this sincerity is often exploited by unscrupulous individuals. Many couples are heartbroken and leave this community, which is a real shame. While we deeply abhor these pathetic and despicable individuals, we must also protect ourselves. Below are some examples of such individuals I've encountered. If you encounter them, the best course of action is to immediately blacklist them without hesitation.
1. No time during leisure time. On non-holidays, 8 PM to midnight is often the best time for couples to chat. However, some people deliberately avoid being online during this time. They might be online during the day while at work, appearing very sincere and earnest, claiming they can chat with you about many things while alone in the office. If you ask if you can video chat at night, they will either say that the children are around and it's inconvenient, or that they have too much to do. In short, they will never be online with all four of you present at night. However, these people have one major characteristic: they usually reappear on QQ after midnight. If you ask them why they're so late, they'll definitely say they just finished something. Another key characteristic is that they will never go online when all four of them are available.
Types of these people: single men, men who secretly try to take advantage of others behind their wives' backs (remember, even in real life, never befriend these people, because their behavior is extremely selfish).
2. They usually go online during their leisure time in the evening. When you suggest video verification, they will have several responses:
a. "Let's get to know each other first, no rush for video." If they say the same thing two or three times, block them immediately. In my judgment, this person is either a single man or someone satisfying their curiosity behind their wife's back.
b. When you ask for video verification, they immediately show an angry and exasperated attitude, saying things like: "Couples should be sincere, don't you trust me?" In my judgment, this person is definitely a single man, generally not highly educated, and uses the habits of a scoundrel in their dating interactions.
c. You request video verification, and the other party agrees, but when the video is turned on, either no one is on the other's screen, or the screen is not turned on at all. This happens repeatedly. I don't need to elaborate; this is a low-level scam.
d. You request video verification, and the other party agrees. Both of you turn on the video, but the other party keeps pointing the camera at themselves. You ask to see their wife, and they point the camera at their wife for a few seconds, then immediately turn the camera back to themselves, or simply show only one of their wife's arms. I advise you not to get involved with this kind of couple, because they have extremely strong male chauvinism and an inflated sense of self. Even if you do get involved, it won't end well.
e. You request video verification, and the other party claims they don't have a camera at home, sends you a few photos, tries to make you "trust" them, and asks to meet in person. In this case, they are most likely a couple. It's up to you whether you want to proceed.
3. During the chat, the other party keeps asking you endless questions about your feelings in this area, but never gets to the point. This kind of person is mostly a single man trying to satisfy his curiosity. I won't say more; you know what to do.
4. Video verification confirms they are a couple, but during the chat, they don't talk much about marital matters. Instead, they constantly ask about other aspects of your life, such as your education, job, and even your specific workplace and financial situation, especially your workplace and financial situation. I'm not sure what their purpose is, but after one or two such chats, I would block them. If we've met
in person
a few times and verified each other via video at least twice (it must be at least twice), and arranged a meeting, generally, based on my experience, the following situations will occur:
1. Their age is extremely inconsistent with what they claim. So far, among the couples I've met, only one couple's age matches their stated age. The most outrageous couple had a man who looked to be in his early 50s, but the other woman claimed to be 36. In this situation, it's up to you; if you feel it's suitable, it's suitable; if you don't, it's not. However, I should mention that this is a unique characteristic of Lanzhou. The out-of-town couples I've met, despite geographical limitations preventing real-world friendships, are generally honest about their age.
2. In person, the other person is completely different from what you saw in the video. In the video, they appear handsome and beautiful, but in person, you'll be disappointed. The man is thin and small, and the woman, aside from her face being passable, is so small she's almost invisible standing next to you. In such situations, my approach is for everyone to politely have a meal together, since they are, after all, sincere. Of course, for couples who don't care about appearances, it doesn't matter.
Here, I want to clarify that you shouldn't trust any videos or photos of your partner. The person you see in a video or photo is generally very different from the real person. Some people might even engage in some "tricks," making things even more confusing. You
must meet in person. For example, in a video, you only see the face, but some people are photogenic, while others aren't. You can't see the whole person in a video, and you'll be greatly disappointed when you meet them in person. Any married person with a little experience will definitely focus on the overall appearance of their partner, not just their face, especially since there's a difference between a face in a video and a photo in real life. And those who aren't photogenic will be the ones you miss out on.
Regarding meeting, I still advise couples to first understand their own worth and not have overly high expectations of each other. Couples like Tong Dawei's would never meet; he could easily slip through their fingers just by showing his face.
Our principle is that as long as the appearance is decent, nothing strange, and the body proportions aren't too outrageous. People need to be reliable and have more shrewdness.

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