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Answers to some questions about the ****** phenomenon 

    page views:1  Publication date:2015-01-06  
Questioner: This is a big question. Please answer patiently in your own words:
1. Do you consider having sex with other men to be perverted? Can you and your partner accept it?
2. I've heard there are rules for this kind of thing. What are those rules?
3. Is it more exciting to have sex at one person's home or in a hotel? Generally, are two couples in one room or in separate rooms?
4. Is it more exciting for two couples to have sex in one room or in separate rooms? Why?
5. Is it more exciting to have sex at one person's home or in a hotel? Why?
6. If a husband sees another man having sex with his wife while having sex with other women, how will he feel? How will the wife feel if she has sex with another man in front of her husband?
7. Is it more exciting to have sex during sex, or for the husband or wife to have sex with other men or women secretly outside the marriage? Why? Those who have actually had sex with other men will be given priority.
Thank you.
Respondent 1: My husband and I have never swapped partners, but I know couples who do (online) and know a little about it. Here's my answer:
1. I don't think swapping is perverted, and I can accept it myself, but I've never been able to convince my husband, even though he sometimes gets aroused during sex;
2. The rules for swapping partners are: First, they must be real married couples; second, both couples must be willing; third, they must not interfere with each other's marriages, marital relationships, or family stability; fourth, they must respect each other; fifth, any requirements, such as whether they can engage in sexual activity, whether they can have sex, whether they use condoms, whether they accept sexual activity, etc., and whether they will be in the same room or separate rooms, must be agreed upon in advance and followed; sixth, strict confidentiality is required; seventh, whether they will continue to contact each other afterward or not, must be agreed upon in advance; eighth, the expenses are split equally, meaning each party pays half.
3. There are couples who have sex in hotels and at home, in separate rooms and in the same room;
4. I personally think it's more exciting to do it in the same room;
5. It's more exciting to do it at home because you're more relaxed there;
6. A husband would generally find it unbearable to see his wife having sex with another man. If I were to have sex with another man in front of my husband, as long as he doesn't care, I think it would be very exciting because it feels like cheating in front of him;
7. I think cheating is more exciting than swapping because it feels more relaxing and more likely to arouse your lust, making you carefree. My answer is serious, I don't know if you are satisfied.
Answerer Two:
1. Do you think having sex in a hotel is perverted? Can you and your partner accept it?
Answer: All four people need to be willing and all four need to be very familiar with each other. 2. I heard there are rules for this kind of thing, what are the specific rules?
Answer: Of course, it's about setting a time for the swap and not being able to back out, etc. 3. When having sex, is it done at one person's home or in a hotel? Generally, are two couples in one room or in two separate rooms?
A: Do it in your own home. 4. Is it more exciting for two couples to do it in one room or in two separate rooms? Why? A: It's not possible to do it in one room, to avoid one person taking longer and another shorter, thus avoiding unnecessary conflicts. If all four agree, I can accept four people having sex in one room, that would be very exciting. 5. Is it more exciting to do it in one person's home or in a hotel? Why? A: It's better to do it in your own familiar home. 6. If you're having sex with your wife, what will your husband think if he sees another man with her? What will your wife think if she's having sex with another man in front of her husband? A: It's an equal exchange, there's nothing to think about. If you're going to think about it, then don't do it. 7. Is it more exciting to have sex during sex, or for your husband or wife to have sex with other men or women secretly outside? Why? A: Of course, it's more exciting to do it secretly. Exchanging sex is also exciting and stressful. Respondent 3: 1. Do you think having sex with your wife is perverted? Can you and your partner accept it? A: Better than hiring prostitutes! I'm willing to accept it if there's a suitable partner. 2. I've heard there are rules for this kind of thing. What are they? A: They specify the time and place, and stipulate that it's not for the purpose of long-term possession, there should be no emotional entanglement, it doesn't replace either spouse, there shouldn't be large financial transactions, and damage to "things" must be compensated (no involvement with Mop or other similar sites). 3. Is it done at one partner's home or in a hotel? Generally, are two couples in one room or in two separate rooms? Generally, it's done at the woman's home. Of course, if it's safe, it can be done in a hotel, except for sex parties or gatherings. Generally, it's done in two separate rooms. 4. Is it more exciting for two couples to do it in one room or in two separate rooms? Why? A: Each has its advantages. Doing it in two separate rooms is more relaxed, with more conversation. Doing it in one room feels less natural, but the sensory stimulation is greater. 5. Is it more exciting to do it at one partner's home or in a hotel? Why? A: Comparing the two, having sex in a hotel is more exciting because having sex at home will always make one couple feel uncomfortable, especially women who are more sensitive about it. 6. If a husband sees another man having sex with his wife, what will he think? What will a wife think if she has sex with another man in front of her husband? A: Husbands are generally afraid that other men will perform better than them. If another man is more aggressive with his wife, he might retaliate. A wife might be a little shy the first time, but seeing her husband with another woman will also make her want to get revenge! 7. Which is more exciting, having sex during intercourse or having sex secretly with other men or women outside the marriage? Why? A: Having sex during intercourse has more advantages. Politically speaking, intercourse is more stable than having a lover. Intercourse is not about long-term possession of the other person and there is no emotional entanglement. Having a lover, on the other hand, is about long-term possession of the other person, or even replacing one's spouse. It's easy to start a relationship but difficult to end it amicably! Economically speaking: Prostitution is cheaper than keeping a mistress (or male escort). Prostitution is based on mutual consent and has minimal additional costs, while keeping a mistress (or male escort) is based on exchanging money for sex, and this cost is long-term. Hygiene-wise, prostitution is safer than male escort services. Prostitutes are generally not professionals, and their number of sexual partners is limited, while male escorts are professionals with many partners, greatly increasing the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. Physiologically, prostitution is more authentic than male escort services. Male escorts are fully made up, and their movements and expressions are exaggerated. Prostitution is also more novel and exciting than having a lover, keeping a mistress, or hiring a male escort. For men, the novelty and excitement of having a lover or mistress diminishes after a while. The same applies to women. After reading my answer, you'll know whether I'm your 'priority'! However, I believe that finding a suitable swap partner is something that can't be forced; if you deliberately pursue it, you'll run into trouble! Respondent 4: A friend of mine did a swap once. They were in a standard hotel room, four people in one room. He told me the most exciting part wasn't having sex with his friend's wife—he ejaculated quickly—but watching his wife being with someone else; it excited him greatly, seemingly different from the mindset of men who haven't swapped before. He also said his friend felt the same way. Respondent 5: This is a rather serious and complex issue. Currently, this situation exists in China, but it's slightly more common abroad. Geographically, it's present in Beijing, Shanghai, and Guangzhou, involving individuals around 30-40 years old, mainly white-collar workers, and generally highly educated (some have postdoctoral degrees). One scenario I know involves selecting about 10 couples (confirmed to be married!) from a fixed circle (similar to a membership program). This usually happens on weekends, often at a 4-star hotel or a similarly upscale bar. There are two methods to participate: Method 1: If someone (A) takes a liking to someone (B), A's spouse (C) contacts B's spouse (D). If all four (A, B, C, and D) agree, A and B's temporary (one-night) marriage is recognized. If they don't end up pairing up, the remaining individuals (not necessarily "the leftovers") are handled using Method 2. Method 2: All the men's names and their assigned room numbers are written on a slip of paper. All the women draw lots to decide who their temporary husband will be. If a woman "unluckily" draws her husband, they draw again. At this point, the temporary marriage is officially recognized! They can publicly display affection. Because of the prior agreement and the generally high level of education, there's no sense of betrayal or other psychological burdens. Therefore, it's indeed very exciting. One of my sisters has participated twice, and she says the most she's participated in is almost 30. She said, "It feels a lot like our wedding night." But I definitely wouldn't do it. Respondent Six: XXX's answer is comprehensive; it sounds exciting just thinking about it. But personally, I would only consider it, not do it, because although there are rules, there's no guarantee that other unpleasant things won't happen, or that emotional entanglements won't arise, or that both families will have a healthy and stable future. Therefore, I think this kind of game is not suitable for our current society and families. Please do not imitate it, otherwise, you will bear the consequences! I have only selected a few representative answers; please share your opinions on this phenomenon.

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