Roughness can also make people drunk.

page views:1 Publication date:2015-03-20

Mutually engaging sex leaves behind beautiful memories and

can enhance your future marital life. However, rough and violent sexual contact can cast a long shadow over your future sex life, becoming the root of disharmony or sexual dysfunction in the relationship.

A woman shared her experience: "I married my current husband five years ago. At that time, I was an unemployed young man, and his father happened to be in charge of recruitment in the district. Through a series of twists and turns, I found him, and he readily agreed to help. From then on, we had contact. One day, he invited me to his house, and as soon as I entered, he locked the door. I understood his intentions, but I didn't dare to resist him, so I was taken advantage of. He was still somewhat kind-hearted; he not only helped me find a job but also married me. But deep down, I still resented him. Every time we had sex, I would think of that incident, and the thought would immediately make me feel forced. So I accepted his manipulation like a piece of wood. I thought to myself: I can't let him have too much pleasure; it's my revenge against him. As you can imagine, I never experienced any orgasm. But now my thinking has changed. He has been good to me all these years after our marriage, and I have begun to forgive him. I also realize that in the past, while punishing him, I was also punishing myself. Now I know that I should change my approach to sex." That kind of mentality. But I find that my sexual feelings seem to have disappeared, and I can't find them back no matter what I do. I want to know, what should I do in my situation?

The first step is to assess your marital situation, that is, whether you think your marriage has any reason to continue. If, apart from that unpleasant past and disharmony in your sex life, you feel that your husband is a good person at heart, and your family life after marriage is also good, then as a wife, you should try your best to forgive him from the bottom of your heart. People inevitably make mistakes, and the rudeness of that year may have been due to a momentary impulse of youth. You shouldn't hold onto that matter. If you have this change in attitude, the nature of that matter will be reversed, and you can generously forgive past grievances. At this time, most of the gloom in your heart will dissipate.

The second step is to tell your husband your true feelings. Women are generally more sensitive than men and are more willing to hold grudges over the past. When you tell your husband about your unhappiness, you may be surprised to find that he has already put that matter to the back of his mind. If so, your honesty may have an unexpected effect. The positive effects are evident. In our clinical sexual health counseling, we've found that once husbands understand the devastating consequences of their past hurts on their wives, as long as they still love them, they feel deep remorse and will strive to compensate in their future lives, including their sex life. If he has always been domineering, he now learns to tenderly seek his wife's opinion. Some wives also find that their husbands spend significantly more time hugging and caressing them before intercourse. After expressing their feelings, they feel suddenly lighter, their burdens lifted, and the past humiliation and pain disappear. Clearly, approaching sex with this new feeling naturally replaces past indifference with passion.

Generally, when women eliminate their anxieties and receive positive cooperation from their partners, their symptoms of sexual apathy improve. After a long period of indifference and lack, a wife's libido has developed a negative response; restoring it requires a process, and expecting a dramatic change after only one or two sessions is unrealistic. In my counseling... I often advise wives like this that the key is to have a good start. At first, the sensations might not be very strong, but don't worry too much or get discouraged. Since the psychological barrier has been removed, as long as you persevere and fully experience it, your libido will definitely rise.

So, are there any other good methods besides this? Yes, there are. Wives can also do some self-psychological training, constantly telling themselves: libido has been aroused, and your lower body is becoming warm and moist. This can artificially increase the sensitivity of your sexual organs. If your husband is willing to cooperate, you can also ask him to increase the friction on your genitals during intercourse. If he can appropriately stimulate the clitoris, the effect will be even better. If you feel embarrassed to make this request, you might as well use masturbation techniques. Masturbation here is purely a form of sexual therapy, so you don't need to overthink it. As for the specific methods of masturbation, you can rely entirely on your own feelings; you don't need someone else to teach you. Of course, the sex toys that are popular nowadays will be even better if used properly.

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Roughness can also make people drunk.

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