That was my first time

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-23

Our relationship began when she attended a tutoring class run by a well-known math teacher. This tutoring center was located near the school and usually only accepted students from the surrounding area, not providing accommodation. At her request, the teacher coordinated with the dormitory management and opened a spare room on the first floor of the girls' dormitory building for her alone. During our high school holidays, the school gates were open, and many people strolled on the playground or studied in the library. However, during holidays, dormitory staff were on duty, and no one except her with special permission could enter.
She attended the tutoring class during the day and would walk on the playground in the evenings, chatting with me. I asked her how school was, and she replied that the entire dormitory building was hers at night. I asked her if she was scared, and if so, to talk to me or call me. She said, feeling wronged, that she wasn't even there. I teased her, a hint of jealousy in my voice, "You have so many friends near the school!" She replied that she would be even more scared if they came. I then probed further, "What if I came?" She said, "Welcome, welcome." It was just a few jokes, and I didn't take it seriously.
So, I continued the conversation, asking where I would stay if I went, since I couldn't get into the boys' dormitory. She said, "Why don't you try staying in the girls' dormitory?" I almost popped my eyes out. I told myself it was just a joke, so we started planning how to sneak into the girls' dormitory. I said I'd climb through the window, but she looked and saw there were safety bars on the window. I said I'd go through the main gate, but she said the auntie was on duty there. I said we could sneak in after the auntie fell asleep at night, and she said we could try. Finally, I laughed and forgot about it, moving on to other topics.
The next evening, I remember very clearly, I was watching TV, watching "The Legend of Lu Xiaofeng," when suddenly I got a message on QQ, "I want to play basketball with you." Seeing this message, I couldn't help but recall our conversation from the previous day. My mind was no longer on a rational track; I wanted to go find her immediately, even if it meant spending the whole night at an internet cafe.
I had already decided to spend the night at the internet cafe, but I still teased her, saying I was going to sleep on the streets. Then she said I could stay in her dormitory. She would check on the auntie on duty at the gate at night. The auntie would secretly lock the door at 11 pm, hide the key in the crack of the small door, and then sneak away from her post. This would give me the opportunity to get in. Finally, he ordered me to appear immediately.
I never imagined that yesterday's jokes would become reality today; my heart was pounding. I quickly made up an excuse and took the bus to school.
That hour on the way was almost the most exciting yet most agonizing time of my life. Some say the best time of life is the journey to a date, and that's probably true.
When I arrived at school, she was already waiting for me at the bus stop, and she even bought me a scallion pancake. We walked together, like a couple. Afterwards, we played basketball on the court and walked laps around the track until 10:30. The time I'd been waiting for was finally approaching. She went back to her dorm at 10:30 because if she didn't, her aunt would call looking for her. I waited outside for her to leave. Around 11:10, I was almost asleep when she started waving her arms and legs at the window, making shouting motions. My sleepiness vanished instantly. Soon, her aunt left the dorm, gently locked the door, and secretly slipped the key under the door. After making sure the aunt was far away, she slipped to the door, easily got the key, opened the door, and beckoned me over. My legs were even trembling. Making sure no one was around, I quickly slipped inside along the wall.
Guided by her, we entered her dormitory. It was an eight-person room with a rather peculiar smell. Only the two lower bunks had things on them; I believe one of them was made for me. She said, "Don't get any improper thoughts about me," and then made a gesture of crossing her arms. To me, this felt like flirting. Although my heart was pounding, I remained rational. Reaching this point was already a great honor. I thanked her for her trust. Because it was late, there was no further interaction, and she was about to turn off the lights and go to sleep. I lay on the bed across the aisle from hers. After turning off the light, I took off my pants and shirt, changing into my sports jersey and shorts. In the moonlight, I could vaguely see that she was covered with a blanket despite the heat, but I didn't hear her undress. A smile lingered on my lips.
I don't know how much time passed, but I was wide awake and, believing she wasn't asleep either, I asked her if she was asleep. She smiled and said in a coquettish voice that she couldn't sleep. She asked me what I was thinking about, and without thinking, I blurted out that I wanted to molest her. She said, "You wouldn't dare." I dare, you wouldn't. I dare, you wouldn't. Her stubbornness stirred my disdain. I suddenly got up, ran to her bed, lay down beside her, and whispered in her ear, "See if I dare."
At that moment, I was still rational. I knew we weren't in a relationship, and she had many things that made me unhappy, so I just wanted to scare her and show her my gentlemanly side. Unexpectedly, she leaned in, whispered in my ear, and said very slowly, "You-don't-dare." Ha, even after all this, she still dared to play with fire. I immediately got up, threw off the blanket, and crawled in. We lay together, separated by our clothes, and I could feel my rationality almost fading away. She remained motionless, chuckling softly. I was trembling with excitement, yet my mind was indecisive. She trusted me so much, how could I...? But she didn't treat me like a man, and I couldn't swallow this insult. So I decided to tease her again. I openly reached my hand to her side and slowly touched her stomach. Through the gap between her shirt and pants, I felt the real texture of her abdomen. At this moment, she still didn't stop me, and I didn't continue to violate her. I touched her stomach for a long, long time. I chose to touch
her stomach to satisfy my own desires while appearing gentlemanly, hoping she would think I was just aroused by her, not a heinous villain. However, at this point, the more she showed trust in me, the more I wanted to slowly push her boundaries. When she relaxed her guard and placed her hand on my stomach, I inadvertently tightened her waistband. The underwear belt was really tight. When I pulled up the belt a second time, she instinctively grabbed my hand, making it impossible for me to struggle. Finally, I crossed her line. We snuggled together in an odd position; she lay flat on her back, her left hand on my stomach, while I lay on my right side. Her right hand tightly gripped my left, resting on her underwear. This was probably the first time I'd ever touched her hand.
After a while, my right arm, which was under me, went numb, so I tried to pull my left hand away to roll over. When she realized I wasn't going to do anything further, she released my hand, and I rolled over onto my back, sprawling out. I slowly recalled the sensation. While groping, I found her hand and placed it on my stomach. She even moved her hand up and down. On a whim, I used her teasing words, saying, "I bet you wouldn't dare," wanting to see if she would put her hand inside my underwear. Unexpectedly, she simply rolled over and climbed on top of me. I was suddenly pressed down hard by her weight, and my penis ached from the sudden tightening of her underwear. I involuntarily groaned and quickly explained that she was going to ruin my penis. She then bent over, and I took the opportunity to pull off my shorts, leaving me only in my underwear.
She slowly sat down again, this time in a higher position, so that her penis couldn't touch me at all. Then she braced herself on the bed with her hands, looking at me from above. I couldn't see her face, only feel her large breasts. Suddenly, I wanted to feel the touch of her breasts, but I was too embarrassed to do so, so I gave her a hug. She understood what I meant, withdrew her arms, and lay down on top of me. Her breasts pressed against my chest, feeling a bit like balloons, full and soft. Her face was buried in my neck, and we could clearly hear each other's breath.
At that moment, reason had vanished from my mind. I couldn't tell if she was playing hard to get or testing me, and I no longer had the energy to think about such things. I tried to unhook her bra through her clothes, but I was clumsy and failed. So I turned my attention downwards. I tentatively slipped my hand under her back to the edge of her panties. She muttered "no" softly, but didn't move. I continued to reach inwards, and when I reached her buttocks, she said "no" again. I continued deeper, brushing past her anus, and stretched out my arm, but didn't touch anything. I wanted to continue downwards, so I suddenly jerked my arm down, making room to go further. I continued to go deeper, and suddenly touched a wet little indentation. She immediately cried out, then pulled my hand out and placed it on her buttocks. I said, feeling wronged, that I hadn't even touched it, but she said she had.
My hand, resting on her buttocks, couldn't stay still. I tentatively pulled down her outer pants little by little. She still cried out "No!" but didn't stop me. After pulling her pants down to her knees, I secretly reached for her genitals through her underwear. When I touched them, I felt the underwear was sticky. She instinctively tried to stop me with her hand, but I simply guided her hand to my swollen penis. She seemed reluctant to grasp the base of my penis. It was the first time someone had touched my penis, and I felt my glans almost bursting with excitement.
With my erection, I arched my back and rubbed my penis against her vulva, feeling her flesh through her underwear. Her cries of "No!" grew faster and faster, but I became increasingly unable to control myself.
When she began to grip my penis tightly, I pried open a slit in the edge of her underwear, quickly grabbed her hand, and slipped my penis inside. The exquisite feeling was indescribable; two soft things clamped down on my penis, the sticky fluid filling every nerve. I reached the peak of pleasure. As I trembled slightly, her moans were drowned out by her purrs. I knew I hadn't yet possessed her, but I was already incredibly satisfied. My penis seemed to be excitedly holding back its gushing ejaculation the entire time. After only a minute or two of friction, I couldn't hold back any longer, and my ejaculation leaked into her panties. Everyone else's first time was so long; mine was rather embarrassing... short, no bleeding.
When I recovered from my orgasm, I found her sobbing. In an instant, my mind went blank. I had imagined countless scenarios after our lovemaking, but this was the ending of my first time. A wave of resentment washed over me—jealousy of her socialite status, betrayal of my goddess. I couldn't figure out why she was crying. Was she angry that I had taken advantage of her trust? Or disappointed that I had maintained my last shred of restraint after such seduction? The world spun, leaving me pondering, unsure if I was regretting my actions. I didn't know whether to apologize or try again next time.
Suddenly, I remembered that my countless offspring were still nestled in her underwear. Worried about wandering into inappropriate places, I saw her still crying, speechless. I could only help her pull down her underwear and wipe her clean with my own underwear. I touched that longed-for tender spot, but could only be careful, without any lust.
My mind raced through the boys around her, racking my brains to rank me. Was I her favorite? Had she done this with other boys? Had she done anything inappropriate with others while walking on the playground? The more I thought about it, the more insecure I became. I knew I wasn't particularly attractive, nor did I have many sweet words; in our relationship, I was mostly in a passive position. But I was certain that at that moment, I hoped she loved me. I touched her tear-streaked cheeks and kissed her deeply, wiping away her tears with my lips. I felt I should make a promise, but I just couldn't say "I love you."
Finally, she turned her back to me and slowly stopped crying. I hugged her from behind and drifted off to sleep. When I woke up the next morning, I was shocked to find her wearing my baggy shorts, with faded stains on them... I had to sneak out of the dorm before the cleaning lady arrived. I waited for her to come out at 6:30 so we could have breakfast together. Her attitude towards me was completely different. She accepted all my advances but remained as quiet as a puppet, not saying a word. The next day, after she got off work, I messaged her saying I was waiting for her, but she said she didn't want to see me. I went home disappointed. Perhaps our friendship had come to an end, but on the third day, she took the initiative to chat with me again, talking about the same things as usual, as if that night had never happened, and we both tacitly avoided saying a word about it.
The next time I saw her was at the start of our second year of high school. She was still very close to many boys, even fawning over other classmates in front of me. She was like two separate people to me. One period she'd be incredibly kind, the next she'd be indifferent, cycling inexplicably between these two states.
My friend said I was a jerk; such a good girl, she must like me, she was just waiting for me to confess, to make a promise. He didn't understand, and neither did she. I had my own reasons and principles.
Time slowly passed, and I never took things further with her. After a serious incident during our senior year of high school that deeply hurt her, we gradually became like strangers. After the college entrance exam, we lived in different cities and never crossed paths again.
When she was around, I didn't realize she was the only one, but when I lost her attention, the regret and loss in my heart were hard to hide. Of course, thinking about it now, I also regret not seeing her genitals, not taking things further, not making her my woman. So many years have passed; she's probably already given herself to other guys. Whenever I think about this, I feel uneasy.
During university, I watched the anime "Anohana: The Flower We Saw That Day." In my mind, she was the prototype for Menma. Menma was incredibly kind to every guy, and every guy liked her. But I'm selfish by nature; I crave to be loved, and with an exclusive, unconditional affection. In the final episode, in the letter, Menma tells Jinta, "I love Jinta the most, the kind of love where I want to be Jinta's bride." I burst into tears. Wasn't I also waiting, waiting for the words, "The one I truly love is you"?
[The End]

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That was my first time

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