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Blogger:mrwp0516 2015-04-23

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Forwarding very useful articles 

    page views:1  Publication date:2015-04-23  
A letter to those who cannot accept or persuade their partners to accept (repost)
Published: 2014-05-09 Author: lowellzhang Popularity: 825

Let me talk about myself. Actually, I initially came into contact with this out of curiosity, and then I learned more. After reading many posts from friends, I felt it was very exciting (maybe it's human instinct). I also felt that friends who had tried swapping or several people doing it together seemed very satisfied and enjoyable. Then, I slowly developed the feeling of wanting to experience it myself. However, my first thought was to ask my husband's opinion. (It's funny, most of the other friends' husbands couldn't persuade their wives, but I was the wife who accepted this idea first :-) I don't know if my husband has heard of ******. I think he should know, men are always looking at those messy websites and stuff, he must have heard of it, but as for whether he can accept it, I can't be sure. Maybe he can, maybe he can't. Because he's not home, he's out of town, so I can't make a decision right now. I've been conflicted these past few days. It's true that truly accepting this new generation's thinking requires letting go of some things; there will be pressure. It's easier said than done. After all, while society is more open now, most people only accept or understand men having affairs because it's so common. And these things like promiscuity have only recently emerged; it might take a long time for everyone to accept it. Nobody knows what the future holds. Perhaps with changing times, promiscuity will eventually become popular. Moreover, women are still influenced by traditional ideas, such as the importance of wifely virtue. They've been taught this since childhood, so changing their mindsets is difficult for traditional, conservative women. It takes time. So, friends, if you can't convince your partner, please don't rush it.
Actually, I'm still conflicted myself. There are many conflicts. First, I'm afraid of not finding a suitable partner. If I find someone unsafe or with ill intentions, the consequences could be terrible. Secondly, what if I actually become addicted after doing it? I don't know what others think, but personally, I think it might be very tempting, although I haven't tried it yet. If I become addicted, it'll be hard to control, and it's not good either; at the very least, doing it too much is bad for my health. These are the main concerns, though there are many other reasons as well.
You have to consider a lot before actually doing it. Communication between husband and wife is crucial. If one partner can't accept it, it's best to stop thinking about it and try it only after you've worked things out. Otherwise, the more you want it but can't do it, the more you'll want it. This might lead to the partner who is more accepting secretly trying something exciting with someone else, which would be bad; in my opinion, that's betrayal. So here's some advice for my fellow women: sometimes it's better to be more open-minded about things. In today's society, many men have affairs. Rather than letting him secretly cheat on you, it's better to just openly engage in something like this. Perhaps it's hard to accept at first. Before seeing so many posts about real-life sex swapping, I thought I could never accept it, but after reading them, I've come to terms with it. Actually, it makes sense. If you wouldn't want to be with a stranger, then if you hadn't married your current husband, wouldn't he be a stranger too? Of course, I'm only saying this to comfort women whose husbands want to try it but can't persuade them. I'm not saying everyone should accept this idea; I just want to comfort women who can't control their husbands and are suffering because they're stuck in a rut. The realities of society won't change because of our insistence on being virtuous. Men can enjoy it, and so can we women. Men and women are equal. (This is purely my personal opinion, just to comfort people. Don't think I'm being inappropriate; I'm just stating the facts.) I believe the most basic requirement for couples is honesty. If my husband really couldn't accept this idea, then I wouldn't do anything behind his back. It wouldn't be good if these things damaged our relationship and life. This is probably a principle of being a decent person. Some things can't be forced.
Now let's talk about how to persuade him. This can't be rushed; it needs to be done slowly. If a man suddenly tells a woman, "Honey, you're into online games now, let's switch," I think anyone would be shocked and think that's a twisted idea. There needs to be a process of understanding. You can casually mention to your wife that you've heard online games are into things like... and see how she reacts. If she's very averse to it, then don't rush things; wait a bit longer. Then, occasionally, intentionally or unintentionally, subtly introduce this idea to her. The approach depends on your wife's personality and attitude; you should express it accordingly. After all, I haven't experienced it myself; these are just some thoughts I've summarized based on my own ideas and experiences from reading forums. If your wife is willing to go online, you can let her browse relevant forums and learn about other people's experiences. Then, when the time is right, after you've had sex, while she's still recovering from her orgasm, you can tentatively suggest that you find her a single man sometime so she can enjoy herself a little longer. See how she reacts; she might pretend to be angry, in which case you can tease her a bit more to gauge her reaction. If she's genuinely angry, then stop. Then you can say something sweet to your wife, like: "Honey, I love you. I wanted to... or something else just to add some passion to our lives. It doesn't mean I don't love you or hate you. There are many people like that nowadays, and we can try it occasionally. If you feel uncomfortable, I won't force you. Of course, I won't do anything behind your back. I just wanted to ask for your opinion and what you think." Of course, you must be sincere when saying these things.
However, if you, as a man, really want to try it, and your wife also has similar thoughts, I think you should first silence her by finding a single man to make her happy. That way, after one experience, she might not say anything anymore. Once a woman has experienced it, she won't care so much anymore; she'll be more open-minded. I think I'm like that. Most women probably are too. It's like how virgins are conservative and resistant to temptation before becoming virgins, but become less resistant afterward. Some people have a physiological instinct, and sometimes they can't refuse what's about to happen. Alternatively, some men might be introverted and shy. In that case, they could try having sex first, so having two women wouldn't be awkward or embarrassing. It depends on the individual; everyone is different. You can only try based on your understanding of your wives.
The above is purely my personal opinion. Everyone has their own thoughts; some people can accept it, some can't. If someone can't accept it, you can't force them. You can only let things take their natural course. Friends, you can use this to slowly test your partners and gradually persuade them. I hope my opinion can help you and be of some use. ******This should only be attempted with the consent of both spouses!!! Furthermore, it must not harm the marital relationship or life, and there should be no conflicts or grudges afterwards. If you cannot do this, don't try it; it will backfire. Also, I think it's best not to do this too often within a year, as too much might harm your health. Moderation is key.

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