marital arguments

page views:1 Publication date:2015-12-19

Experience has shown that the personalities and habits of long-married couples are largely fixed and difficult to change. Both partners should allow each other to maintain their own characteristics and personalities, and humbly learn from each other's strengths, achieving harmony through mutual learning and compensating for each other's weaknesses.

Thirdly, avoid bringing up the past: Listing out each other's past "mistakes" after every argument to prove one's own correctness and the other's wrongdoing. This not only hinders the resolution of the current problem but also leaves the other person with the impression that "you no longer trust me or like me." It's entirely detrimental.

Fourthly, avoid making absolute statements: "I've seen through you all along; if you can change, I'm not a human being anymore." This not only hinders the other person from correcting their mistakes but also prevents the easing of conflict and puts oneself in a passive position.

Fifthly, avoid involving family members: Some couples drag their partner's parents, siblings, and other relatives into the argument, which easily damages family relationships and further complicates the conflict.

Sixthly, avoid punishing the other person sexually: Some couples, after an argument, become uncooperative in their sex life, even refusing intimacy. This not only hurts the other person's self-esteem but also damages the foundation of the marital relationship.

Seventh, avoid resorting to violence: Most marital arguments stem from trivial family matters. "A gentleman uses words, not fists." Approach the issue with reason, emotion, and logic, clarifying right and wrong and identifying the root cause to resolve the problem. Even on major issues, violence is ineffective. Physical violence not only injures the body and damages the relationship but also makes resolving the problem more difficult.

Eighth, avoid casually mentioning divorce: Constantly threatening divorce at the slightest conflict not only makes the other person feel threatened but also leaves a cold impression. Over time, this will ultimately lead to the breakdown of the marriage.
Winning an argument but losing the relationship is something neither can afford to lose. Therefore, no matter what conflicts arise, maintain a tolerant attitude.
Finally, I advise all friends that couples should try to avoid arguing; cherish the bond between husband and wife.

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