The fourth party

page views:1 Publication date:2016-06-02

Cao Yu, a 32-year-old senior teacher at a key high school in Beijing, married a classmate from Beijing Normal University, two years her senior. She and her first boyfriend spent every day together after the college entrance exam, staying at her house. She was always very obedient; before their first time, they only kissed and touched each other. One day, he couldn't resist and took off his underwear to penetrate her, but he didn't dare ejaculate. He didn't experience much pleasure, and neither did she. She became a campus beauty at Beijing Normal University. Her husband has a certain air about him, as if nothing is impossible, though sometimes he's not as good as her in interpersonal relationships. They don't have children. She said she was busy with work, and she really was. She felt he met all her standards, but she didn't know where he was. I mean, he seemed to be a combination of various qualities. Later, they separated. She didn't really want a divorce; she just learned about separation and wanted to see if the common saying about couples supporting each other through thick and thin, like they couldn't separate after being together for a long time, really held true. Surprisingly, she found it wasn't at all; she was very happy on her own. Her current boyfriend, Shi Ce, is eight years older than her and a sales manager at a printing factory. We'd known each other for three or four years since the winter of 1999. Our relationship was pretty good; I loved him, and he loved me too. It happened at a teaching research conference in Shanghai. He invited me to dinner and said I looked really young. I replied that all teachers look young. After dinner and a few drinks, we went back to the hotel. I pretended to be very excited because I didn't want to spoil his mood, nor did I want to spoil mine. Afterwards, I wrapped my legs around his waist and then cried, crying pitifully. Actually, I wasn't very sad at the time, but I felt like something was missing that night. Since someone was willing to comfort me, why should I pretend to be strong? His comfort also gave me emotional satisfaction; it's really a matter of neither of us owing the other anything. Later, I got a little sleepy and joked with him. I liked this dizzy, carefree state. He took my hand and put it under the covers, asking if I wanted more. I said yes, and we did it again. The next morning at 4 a.m., I woke up and wanted to go back. He mumbled, "Don't go." My heart ached, and I softened, so I went back to bed. The next day at noon, he said he had finished his meeting and wanted to go back with me after mine. I said it wasn't appropriate, but he said it was fine. He asked if I was married, and I said yes. He asked if I had any other boyfriends, and I said no. He asked for my phone number, and I said forget it, we're not kids anymore, and I wouldn't think about this anymore once we got back to Beijing. Two months later, I was hospitalized with enteritis. He helped me with the discharge procedures and took me home. After I showered and lay back in bed, he asked if I wanted to be with him, and I said yes. After we finished, he got dressed and prepared to leave. Without any burdens, our hearts were in sync; only then could we be together meaningfully. Otherwise, what's the point of being like an ordinary married couple? I was incredibly happy, feeling for the first time that I had finally achieved a complete victory over a man. Later, I thought about it carefully. He couldn't get a divorce, and I couldn't afford to divorce my husband and have to divide the assets. My husband was doing well now; the government took care of everything from birth to death. He didn't know about my relationship with Shi. Sometimes I even offered to go back and take care of him, and although he didn't say anything, he seemed quite happy. The days of being torn apart by love were over. Later, Shi and I separated. Once, I went to the US for six months. I told Shi Ce that I shouldn't contact him during that time. Shi Ce, having been trained by me, readily agreed not to contact me. Before leaving, he even left me 10,000 yuan, telling me to take care of myself and such, and then he really never contacted me again. I didn't actually stay in New York for that long because of the language barrier, and the school just wanted to go through the motions, so I came back. I remember it was around last year, I had just gotten a new phone and sent a group text message saying I had changed my number. Two minutes later, my phone rang and it was Shi Ce. He said he was out and I asked where I was. I said I was out of town. Then the phone at home rang, and it was Shi Ce again. He said he wanted to test if I was there. I figured he was, so I finally told him to come over. He came over, came into the room, and started hugging me and taking off my clothes. To be honest, he was better than my previous boyfriend in that respect. If I said I didn't want to, he would never force me. After returning from the US, I dated several boyfriends, but broke up with them as soon as the interest wore off. My most recent boyfriend was a younger man, with modern ideas and many unexpected surprises. Once, during lunch break, we made love in my office. I hadn't taken off my clothes, and he lifted my skirt and did it on the desk. I was nervous and excited, and it felt great. Deep down, I'm a traditional woman, and I couldn't handle his racing heartbeat, so I broke up with him. Shi Ce said to Cao Yu, "I often think of you." I said, "That's good." He said, "Sometimes when I'm at home or working and feeling stressed, I think about those two years with you, and it still feels pretty good." Once, we went out together. Because we're both usually busy, I wanted to go shopping, but he didn't want to. I said, "Then you should go home." Later, I met my college classmate who mistook him for my husband, and I agreed. I didn't let him come for several days. Whenever he called, I said I was busy. After five days, when I felt my bad feelings had subsided, I finally let him come. I asked Shi Ce why they didn't want children. He said he was too busy in those years to have any, and later had two miscarriages. His health wasn't good, so he didn't dare have any more. He asked if I wanted children. I said I'm surrounded by children every day and don't really need any. The women in my office are always talking about students and children; it's really boring. Now I have some fame, and I don't need anyone to support me. I don't want a divorce either. In my eyes, it's terrifying for one person to entrust their entire life to another. Actually, I didn't particularly like Shi Ce at first. I was in a bad mood at the time, but he treated me very well. Whenever we wanted to eat at home, he would cook. Even if we did it before bed, he would say a few sweet words. I felt that was enough, and I cherished this relationship. I didn't put any pressure on him. He's very calm with me now, but he gets tense as soon as he gets home. In the end, everyone has to settle down in the simplest and most relaxed place. I know that someone like him will eventually go back to his wife. What should I do then? I've thought about this question many times. I don't think I'll just wait at home for my husband. I don't even know what that other woman is like. I participate in many activities now, and I'm quite confident in my height, physique, and appearance. I know my charm, and I have a few potential partners, spanning various age groups, including some foreigners. If one interferes with my life, I'll immediately find another man to sleep with. If I don't want Shi Ce (a popular online personality) around, I'll try something different. Or, if Shi Ce needs company after leaving, my backups are happy to come along. Even though I just slept with Shi Ce, the passion quickly reignites. My schedule is packed every month; I never spend a night alone. I don't lack sex; I even sleep with my husband a few nights a month. Sometimes I feel I have nothing to worry about regarding my future, but I sometimes worry about my husband, especially financially. I've saved up quite a bit and often surprise him with unexpected gifts. He feels like we're not separated anymore and is gradually adapting to this lifestyle. After all, everyone should have the freedom to choose, right?

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