How to get your partner to "go wild"

page views:2 Publication date:2016-07-17

"My girlfriend is very promiscuous in bed, and she's even talked about threesomes. She's open to anything during sex, but she's very proper in everyday life. How can I guide her?"

This is a private message a friend sent me, and many friends have asked similar questions. So today, I'll share my understanding of this topic.
Every man has a white rose and a red rose in his heart. A virtuous wife and loving mother is the white rose, gentle and attentive. But men also crave the red rose, with its allure and even promiscuity. Without either, something is missing.
Many men cheat, have affairs, and seek thrills, ultimately because they can't simultaneously enjoy the "red and white roses" in a stable marriage.
Let's think about it from another angle: if your partner truly embodies the phrase "a lady in public, a slut in bed," would you still want to cheat?
Given this, how can you get your partner to be more "promiscuous"? I think you can try this:
First, establish a "solid love."
As the saying goes, "Men love for sex, women have sex for love," meaning everyone is essentially getting what they need. If a woman doesn't psychologically accept you, why would she willingly do things she considers shameful? In Chinese societal norms, women are still constrained, as evidenced by the numerous discussions surrounding virginity complexes. Women need security, which means she trusts you and won't feel anxious or panicked even if she shows a side of herself that society doesn't accept. So how do you instill this sense of security in a woman? Through "steady love." Give her what she needs, and gradually, a psychological dependence will form. This process can be understood as building a foundation; the stronger your emotional foundation, the richer her reciprocation will be.
Secondly, make her willingly give to you.
This is the key to elevating your needs. After giving a woman absolute security, it's simply a matter of making her willing to show you aspects of herself that others don't see, such as nudity and normal sex. However, at this point, she might still feel the need to maintain a "ladylike" image in your presence, so she might outwardly resist your further sexual advances. This resistance isn't because she's unwilling, but because she wants to preserve a positive image in her mind. At this stage, we need to further elevate the emotional foundation between you, making her willing to invest in you. For example, most men want to try oral sex with their partners, but initially, the vast majority of women will refuse, citing reasons like it's dirty or vulgar—a psychological resistance. Also, oral sex can indeed make women feel nauseous, and it doesn't offer much physiological pleasure. So why do some women accept oral sex? The reason is simple: they want to make their partners happy. I've discussed this topic with some female friends, and their reasons for accepting oral sex are surprisingly consistent: their partners want it, and they feel that doing so can satisfy them, nothing more. Similarly, if you're not satisfied with ordinary sexual activity and want to try something different with your partner, you might as well start with building an emotional foundation, making her feel that she's doing it to satisfy you, and then gradually introduce more possibilities.
Finally, thorough communication and respect are essential for a positive cycle in sex. I firmly believe that sex is a two-way street and requires mutual respect to be truly enjoyable. Communicate more with your partner. After the second stage of communication, you should be able to discuss this topic openly. Ask for her thoughts, prioritize satisfying her first, and she will naturally be more willing to satisfy you—this is the positive cycle. You may have many ideas you want to try, but your partner may not fully accept them after trying them. And those things she truly cannot accept, she may occasionally treat as a "reward" to give you experience.

I've rambled on quite a bit; purely theoretical concepts might be difficult to understand. Ultimately, it depends on how you communicate with your partner.
Keep two principles in mind:
1. Sex is a two-way street; if you satisfy her, she will naturally satisfy you.
2. Avoid rushing things.

I hope this is helpful.
Also, those friends who messaged me after reading my posts about single men and couples asking me to introduce them to the community, please save your breath. The same applies to the couples community; it's not solely about sexual gratification. Couples and single men can have relatively stable and more private relationships. If you're interested, you can try to understand and develop these relationships yourself, rather than rushing into casual hookups.
I welcome everyone to connect with me, and I also welcome pioneering and excellence-seeking friends from the Wuhan area to organize offline activities together.

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How to get your partner to "go wild"

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