My conservative wife cheated on me

page views:1 Publication date:2017-09-20

I really didn't expect that my wife would do the same. It was in 2008, when we were both middle-aged. Let me introduce my wife: she was 42 years old, three years older than me, of Korean ethnicity, and a head nurse at a hospital. She was voluptuous and tall, about 166 cm. We were quite conservative in our sex life. Even though she was older than me, she never showed her true self, and gradually I lost interest in her. We spent our time playing cards, drinking, and going to and from get off work. We had sex two or three times a month. Around April, one day, I noticed a new QQ number in my computer folder. I hadn't seen this number before. I searched it up; the username was "Azalea Flower," which should be my wife's. Why didn't she tell me? I became suspicious. I became suspicious and downloaded a QQ monitoring software. A few days later, while she was on duty that night, I opened the software and saw a conversation between her and someone with the username "Wolf Man." The conversation was just casual greetings, nothing special, so I thought it was probably fine. The person's profile showed he was from Inner Mongolia, but I was still curious. If there was nothing wrong, why was he secretly using this number to chat? I later tried to add him. I won't go into the details, but this person was a construction foreman, 46 years old, divorced. He liked to flirt with me and other women. Once, I asked him how many women he had slept with, and he looked down on me. He said, "Not just a few, but dozens." I said, "Really? They're all decent women, never using condoms." I said, "I admire you." I kept wanting to ask about my relationship with my wife, but I was afraid he would become suspicious. As time went by, I felt my wife was hiding from me, always keeping her phone close by. I couldn't see the number she was using on the computer. One day, I saw that wolfish man online again. We exchanged greetings, and he started testing the waters again. This time he knew more than before; he preferred mature women, especially married ones. I asked why, and he said, "It gives me a sense of conquest." I said, "Brother, you're almost 50, and you're still so good." He started bragging, saying he could go all night, three or four times in a row. I continued, "Do you have any targets lately?" He mentioned a name... my heart pounded... his wife's online name. I typed shakily, "Have you met her?" He said no, but he'd seen her picture—a voluptuous, strong woman, a nurse. I said, "Are you almost there?" He said, "What?" I said I really wanted to see how capable he was, and he chuckled and said, "Brother, I'll let you know when I get the results." He went offline. I hesitated whether to dissuade him or pretend I didn't know. Thinking about it carefully, the distance was too great; that person couldn't possibly come, and my wife wouldn't have the chance to travel for work. It was probably just online flirting. The only way was to pretend I didn't know. July 13th—I'll never forget this day. I was at work when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I took it out and saw QQ flashing. There was a message: "Brother, I'm starting to pick flowers at noon." I typed back, "Brother, you're awesome! Which flower?" He typed back, "The Korean nurse." I almost dropped my phone and asked, "Where are you, brother?" I replied, "Changchun." I sat down abruptly. Yes, my wife had taken the train to Changchun last night for training. I wanted to call my wife... but I'd gone too far again. What if it wasn't her? I'd be in a bind. I hurriedly asked, "Brother, can I watch this?" The other person replied after a while, "You're lucky, kid. Sure." I asked what time... "One o'clock." I left, putting down my work. I asked for leave. I rushed home in a taxi, turned on my computer, and sent him a message with a video request. He clicked on it. It looked like a trendy hotel room, with a large bed behind the computer. I asked if the camera could be closer, but he said no, probably afraid I'd record it. It was one o'clock. I asked, "Not yet?" He just chuckled, "I'm not in a hurry, why are you?" Then he told me not to type, just watch. I said, "Thank you," but internally I was cursing. He left. Those half hours were incredibly complicated for me—heartache and excitement. I really wanted to know what my virtuous wife looked like then. Time seemed to drag on. Then there was a knock at the door, and a man's and a woman's voices came in. Man: I've been waiting for you for ages. Woman: I just finished eating with my colleagues. That voice sounded so familiar... Before I could even react, the door closed, and the sound stopped. 2.Three minutes of silence... What's wrong? Then I heard a woman's soft moans. "Brother Xu, don't do this... I just came to see you." My blood stopped flowing. It was my wife's voice. We've been married for almost 20 years; her voice was so familiar. They were standing at the door. I sensed a struggle. "No, no..." my wife cried. The man said, "Sister, I've missed you so much..." Footsteps approached the bedside. Finally, their bodies appeared on the camera. My wife was facing away from me, being embraced by the man. She was only wearing a bra. She was wearing shorts. The man was kissing her, and she was trying to avoid him. I'd video chatted with this predatory man before, but this time I saw him in full. He was about 1.9 meters tall. My wife, though tall, looked like a little lamb next to him. The man's hand was inside her underwear, grabbing her buttocks. They were struggling. He turned his body, facing the camera sideways. Damn, this man was completely naked. He'd taken his clothes off at the door earlier. He knew I was watching; he was showing off. He exposed his "weapon" and made my wife grab it. I was shocked. I myself... He wasn't exactly small, this one was even thicker. Although he was 46, his body was really strong. He squatted down, picked up his wife, and walked to the bed. His wife weighed 120 pounds. The noise subsided; the bed was a bit far from the computer. He placed his wife under him and pressed down on her. He couldn't hear clearly, but he heard his wife's voice, tinged with Korean, "Don't do this... don't..." He just kept pressing down on her. A moment later, the man threw out a black bra. He then saw his wife's hand on the back of his neck, not pushing it away. He used his... He spread his wife's legs apart, and pulled down her panties. Oh, a long sigh reached my ears clearly. The man's dark genitals thrust forward. Ah, so good, so tight, the man's rough voice made my heart flutter. My body was rock hard. I just watched with my headphones on, only seeing the man's buttocks moving and the bed creaking. My wife rarely adds noise during sex. Occasionally, I heard a few moans. The man seemed to say something, but I couldn't hear clearly. In less than 10 minutes, the man's buttocks were moving very quickly in the video. I knew he was having anal sex. After a few thrusts, it was over. He rolled over and got off. Due to the angle, you could only see them lying down, not their expressions. His penis was still quite large after ejaculating. He put his hand on his wife's breast and said something. His wife didn't react. After a few minutes, his wife got up and spoke loudly and clearly, "Brother Xu, you're such a pervert!" At this moment, seeing that her hair was all messed up, he also got up and hugged her. "A man who isn't a hooligan isn't developing normally. Weren't you enjoying yourself just now? Girl, go away." My wife slapped him and went to the bathroom. At that moment, I immediately called this man. My voice was trembling. Then I heard a chuckle. "Brother, what are you so excited about? You've seen enough. Turn off the computer later." I hurriedly asked, "Want to continue?" He said, "Brother, you don't know, this woman's pussy is really tight, she can grip... Once isn't enough." She said she'd be back tomorrow. "Sorry, I'll keep the location a secret." I asked, "How many times today?" I actually wanted just once. He said, "One night." Then I heard the bathroom door open, and the phone immediately hung up. I heard the slight audible sound of the phone hanging up. I slumped weakly into a chair. My God, how could this happen? My wife is absolutely a model of a virtuous wife and loving mother in the eyes of her colleagues, family, and friends. How could she cheat on me? From her behavior just now, although she resisted... But I should also know what meeting her means, what might happen. I need to think about it calmly. It's not entirely her fault; I bear some responsibility. I've been cold to her, which led to this situation. I feel a little relieved. I look at the clock; it's almost 2 PM. From 2 PM to tomorrow morning... how many times will we meet? Judging from his performance, his ability is average. Maybe he ejaculated too quickly the first time. He definitely won't answer the phone now. I sent a message: "Dude, the timing is bad." I finished in less than 10 minutes and sent it, waiting for a reply. Until 5 PM... QQ flashed. Text: (You don't know anything! I slept with her three times this afternoon, yelling and screaming.) If this person were in front of me, I would have killed him. He slept with my wife, and he's so foul-mouthed! I suppress my anger and type: (Seeing is believing, but don't brag, buddy.) The other party replied at 7 PM: "I'll call you in a bit. Listen to my power." I feel sorry for my wife. Three times that afternoon, then I waited anxiously. 8 o'clock, 9 o'clock, just after 9 o'clock, the phone rang, I saw it was my wife, I answered immediately, she told me she'd be back tomorrow morning. I said I knew, my wife's voice was still the same, quiet and calm. I really wondered if I'd mistaken her for someone else that afternoon, I said a few words and hung up. Until almost 10 o'clock, the phone rang again, I immediately grabbed the phone, the display showed it was Wolf Man, I hurriedly answered, the phone was very noisy, the sound of something moving, ah, ah, shameless, Brother Xu, it was my wife's voice on the phone, a loud slap, slut, this big ass is really round. It was Old Xu's voice, bend over, yes, yes, it was the sound of something moving again, a few seconds of silence, then my wife spoke, don't spread it, Old Xu: Does your husband need it, pink inside the pussy? Wife: 2 or 3 times a month. "Old Xu, you had your fun today, didn't you? I made up for all the stuff you'd had in the last few months. Go to hell, you scoundrel!" Old Xu knew I was listening and said, "Girl, how many times did I do it to you this afternoon? Don't tell me..." (A series of moaning sounds followed, likely kissing.) My wife said, "You scoundrel... five times already..."

My heart was shaken. Five times in one afternoon... a 46-year-old man... could he be on drugs? His wife said, "Are you on drugs?" The man laughed, "I never take drugs. Three more rounds tonight!" His wife said, "No, my husband will know when I get home tomorrow." The man's voice said, "Tell your husband I'm tired, we'll do it in a few days." His wife said, "That won't do either. You're too cruel. Have you never seen a woman before?" At this point, her voice was very loud. "The phone should be next to the pillow." Old Xu asked gruffly, "How cruel?" His wife groaned, "I'm really going at it!" The following is their conversation... it's been a long time, I can't remember it all. The man pressed, "No, say 'all,' change the word." After a long silence, his wife finally uttered a single word: "Fuck." At that moment, there was movement; her breathing grew louder. The man's rough voice demanded, "Fuck me, fuck me!" His wife replied, "I won't say... You're so bad... Oh... Oh... Ah..." It wasn't just moaning anymore; it was a moaning sound. I listened, wondering what kind of action it was. Since we got married, my wife had never moaned so loudly during sex. "Say it!" A sudden, angry roar on the phone startled me. "Say it... Say it... I'm going to fuck you to death today... Ah... Ah... Too deep... Be gentle... Brother Xu... That's good then... Say it... Where did you fuck me?" The sounds of slapping on the phone were rapid and intense. "Fuck my pussy..." It was my wife's voice. I was speechless. We rarely talked about dirty words during sex; she said she disliked it. What was wrong with her today? The man asked, "What pussy?" Woman: "Slut: Old Xu laughed smugly. I could feel his sense of accomplishment from conquering her. He told me, 'Girl, how many men have fucked this pussy?' The wife said only her husband. 'Then why is it so tight?' the man asked. 'Maybe yours is too big,' the wife replied breathlessly." This wolf-like man, I think he's a master at playing with women... his flirting is really impressive. His wife, usually so conservative, became so wanton under his ministrations. I listened to him on the phone for 30 minutes, then he hung up. In those 30 minutes, there seemed to be four positions: frontal, doggy style, woman on top, and standing on the floor. My wife came home at noon. When she saw me, her eyes were a little evasive. I didn't know what to say. We exchanged a few brief words. As usual, we each slept in our own rooms at night. There are three bedrooms; the child occupies one. I only go to her room when her period is over. Occasionally, she comes to my room. Lying in bed, I suddenly remembered... she's not suitable for an IUD. We use condoms when we have sex. I don't like it. This is one of the reasons we don't get along. Did that guy wear a condom on our date in Changchun? I slowly thought about it and couldn't recall seeing him wear one. I immediately turned on my computer. Wolf-like was offline... I left a message. Dude, how many times did you have sex? I waited a while and then got sleepy. I didn't sleep all night. I just turned off my computer. The QQ icon popped up. It was him. 4 times. I asked again, "Didn't you do it 6 or 7 times?" He said, "Damn it, if I ejaculate again, I'll pee." The last few times were empty shots. I understood. But I was concerned about whether it was a one-night stand. I asked again... but there was no reply for a long time. I couldn't wait any longer, so I turned off my computer and went to sleep. The next day, I saw his message on my phone. He said he exchanged feelings with a foreign woman last night and didn't have time to reply to me. He called his wife a foreign woman. Another line: "Is it love if you don't ejaculate inside?" I wondered if my wife was delirious from the heat... that someone did it without a condom... There's another thing that's suspicious. This Lao Xu is average-looking, just a bit strong. His speech and knowledge are very vulgar. How could my wife know someone like that? I live my 9-to-5 life with some questions in mind. I also chat online, but it's all nonsense, or in some movies... The men I added online were all from that place. I met this guy, Wolfish, from there. There weren't many women. His wife seemed normal. Back then, I mainly chatted with Lao Xu online, but I couldn't keep asking about his wife. Once, he even got suspicious and asked why I was so concerned about this. "Is it your wife?" I naturally replied, "No." I said, "You managed to win over such a virtuous wife; you must have some secret tricks. Brother, let me ask you." Everyone likes to hear praise. He started talking non-stop. I felt like this guy didn't even finish high school, but his typing speed was incredibly fast, and he even used Wubi input method, which made me, a college graduate, feel ashamed. His point was roughly that there's no distinction between conservative and open-minded, nor between virtuous women and prostitutes. Women are multifaceted creatures; one person might be a virtuous wife and mother, while another might be a wanton beast. As long as you develop the right person... You could really see that from his vulgar language. He's a bit shrewd. I pressed him for details about that day. He got impatient and said, "I've slept with dozens of them. Do you want me to write a book about it?" He added, "Idiot." I sat in front of the computer, gritting my teeth and cursing, "Fuck you!" Then I opened my QQ monitoring software and saw my wife hadn't logged in. I knew she chatted on her phone, but a phone is definitely slower than a computer. What happened? Had things broken up? I thought about it carefully... No, the computer is in my bedroom. I usually use it... That might be the reason... Two weeks later, my company offered a business trip to Jinzhou. Sorry, I can't say the company name. It's a tough job... I wanted to give her a chance, so I took the initiative. Even the boss praised her... "Old... you have high awareness!" I felt bitter inside. I went for a week... and came back. The first thing I did was rush to the computer at home... My mood was like waiting for the lottery results. I opened it, entered the password... and sure enough... As expected, Jindalaihua logged in. There were only a few netizens in the chat. I ignored everything else and clicked on "Wolf Man." Oh my god, the records kept jumping around. I checked the page number, it seemed to be over 40 pages. I lit a cigarette and slowly sank into the memories of that time. I wanted to stop talking, but I felt a fishbone stuck in my throat and had to get it out. When I looked at their records, it was like a prisoner's confession during interrogation. Most of the time, the man would say a long line of words, and the wife would reply with "oh," "yes," "okay," etc. I checked the date. I logged into QQ the night I was on a business trip. The first half was mainly the man praising and complimenting, talking about his feelings at the time, etc. I can't remember the details. He didn't seem to talk much about what happened that day, probably because we had communicated by phone. What I remember most is that the man used an aphrodisiac. Not Viagra, I can't remember the name. He said he usually doesn't use drugs, but he was afraid he couldn't conquer his wife's beautiful body. He took it after dinner. His wife replied... He replied, "Too vulgar..." Seeing this made me feel a little better. To think a man nearing fifty could have sex six times a day, even better than me... So that's how it is. Xu asked, "When is it most pleasurable for a girl?" His wife replied, "When her underwear is still hanging on her feet, and he's holding her legs apart and fucking her..." The man asked why. His wife replied, "It's the pleasure of being raped by a stranger." I feel I understand women's hearts less and less. I sighed and continued turning the page. Around page twenty, I noticed his wife's writing increased. Finally, I discovered a secret... Over ten years ago, she had a lover. This really hurt... Physical infidelity can be forgiven, but emotional infidelity cannot. She told the wolfish man that even now, after leaving him, she still thinks about him often. Thinking about him during sex with my husband (me) makes the orgasm come faster. I almost smashed my computer monitor. Damn it, all these years I've become someone else's substitute!!My wife's account was gradually revealed under the guidance of the predatory man. Old Xu asked, "Sister, tell me honestly, how many men have you slept with?" My wife said, "Only my husband." Xu said, "That doesn't seem likely. Judging from her behavior that day, although she wasn't completely open, she wasn't too nervous either. There must be others." That was the gist of the conversation. After some discussion, my wife admitted, "I've slept with one person." After that, my wife started writing more. That was ten years ago. She was under 30. That person was a newly hired intern at the hospital, five years younger than her. The predatory man typed, "Hehe, you're eating young grass, aren't you?" My wife said, "No, it was the man who initiated it." She also mentioned that they had mutual attraction. Xu, being a rough man, didn't care about feelings and kept asking, "How did you sleep with him? Was it comfortable?" My wife's answer revealed the truth to me. One day, the young man was making rounds. My wife accompanied him. After the rounds, the young man invited my wife to sit in his on-call room. The wife went there. It was 2 AM. Only the two of them were in the duty room. The man waited for her to come in, closed the door, and then hugged her. She told Xu that she wasn't prepared and was nervous. She didn't react much before being pinned down on the small bed in the duty room. His underwear was pulled down, and she was violated while lying on the bed. Xu asked if she called for help. The wife replied that she was afraid of being embarrassed and didn't call. She said the man was just nervous and ejaculated quickly. After that, the man harassed her several more times. Once, he took her to a man's dormitory and played with her for a whole morning. Later, she started to like him. A few months later, the intern left the hospital and went to Changchun. Xu asked some questions he was curious about, such as how big his penis was and how long he could last. The wife said it was average and not very long-lasting, but very energetic. He could get an erection again shortly after ejaculating and continue the fight. Xu then asked which of the three men was the best. The wife said, "Brother Xu. He's thick and big, and he's very rough with me." Go all out. I like it. When I saw those words, I wondered if this was still the conservative, virtuous wife and mother. We divorced in December of that year. I never mentioned it to the end. I've had my share of casual flings too, why fight to the death? For the next two or three years, I was single, and my online goals changed: finding women to date. I added quite a few women online, and I prefer mature women. I basically don't chat with those younger than me; I usually choose women between 40 and 48. Old Xu once told me that this age group is the easiest to get. I've probably managed to get about 15 so far. Let's skip that for now and talk about my ex-wife. After the divorce, she moved out and lived with her mother. I saw her a few times on the street over two years, but we didn't say hello; I just glanced at her and moved on. During those two years, she was mainly online flirting with women. I barely contacted Lao Xu either, except for one conversation later. I learned from him that my ex-wife was getting remarried. We talked for a long time that day. I had thought about it for a long time, and finally, I said what I had been holding back for two years. He was online that day; he usually goes offline and rarely goes online. After chatting for a few minutes, I asked, "Hey bro, are you still in contact with that nurse from the hospital in Baicheng?" He asked what was wrong, and I said I was just curious and wanted to get to know her. He replied, "She's getting married soon and has deleted me. I don't have her number anymore." I said, "Really?" He said, "Brother, it's not that I don't want to give you her number, it's really gone. I'd be a fool to lie to you." Since we had no contact, I asked, "Do you know who she is?" He just stared at me with a bunch of question marks. I continued typing, "She's my wife." He said, "Really?" Brother, I told him my wife's name, workplace, and age. His words flew back: "I'm sorry, brother, I'm really sorry. I was typing this; it's none of your business. Nobody forced me." He laughed and said, "Yes." He continued, "Brother, when did you find out about your wife and him?" I said, "That day in Changchun." He said, "Why didn't you tell me? How could you bully my wife?" He added some more laughing emojis. At that point, I was mostly quiet while typing with him, my usual anger and tension gone. I asked, "How did you know she was getting married? And you've met?" He said, "I won't lie to you today, you're divorced too. It's okay to tell you, we kept in touch online. Two years, at least 20 times." I said, "Brother, you came all this way for this? Was it worth it?" He said that he had a project he contracted in Baicheng back then. That's how it started. Later, when he needed to pay for the project, we would meet every time he came. It always happened in a hotel. This time, he asked me a lot of questions, which was the opposite of before. He asked me if I had ever given oral sex. I said no. He said I had. Then he asked if I had ever used props, been tied up and played with, or had sex. A series of questions left me confused. I replied that I hadn't. He laughed and said, "Brother, I've already developed you." I said, "She's not very passionate during sex. I saw a video in Changchun, but she doesn't move." Xu laughed again, "Brother, you only saw the outside. I know what's moving." I didn't react at the time and sent a question mark. He said, "She didn't even penetrate me. My wife's vagina started to tighten and loosen in response." I understood. I asked again, "What did you say back then? I didn't hear clearly." He said he forgot after a long time. I asked, "Your wife just moaned, right?" He chuckled. He said, "You're really good at talking, aren't you?" I could tell he still had a lot of feelings for his wife. He said that of all the women he'd been with, a few of his wife's were the most satisfying. Those women were all voluptuous, but his wife wasn't just voluptuous; she also had long thighs. Old Xu said, "The process of fucking her head-on, grabbing those round thighs and slamming them down, was incredibly beautiful. Watching her ecstatic expression, her flushed face, was absolutely exhilarating." Then he added, "Brother, your wife is really resilient." I said, "She's physically strong." He paused for a moment, then typed, "Brother, don't be angry. You're divorced anyway, so I'm telling you this now. I think it's just about sex." I said I wouldn't be angry; it's none of my business anymore. He said, "We two men fucked your wife in broad daylight." My heart skipped a beat. I felt both annoyed and excited. I quickly asked, "What happened? Can you tell me?" He talked for a long time about his contracted projects, how hard it was to make money. I was getting anxious listening to him. I said... Let's get straight to the point. He started by saying that after completing his project, the payment was constantly delayed. He said that bribes and gifts were useless; the leader continued to eat and play as usual, just dragging his feet on paying. Later, during their conversation, they learned that the leader was also a womanizer, but only liked respectable women, not prostitutes. Old Xu immediately thought of my wife because we're from the same area, which was convenient. I won't go into the details. Later, he arranged for the leader to go fishing at a farmhouse in the suburbs, and my wife was brought along. He told my wife that the man was his friend. We were having a drink, and Lao Xu said that when the leader saw my wife, his eyes widened. My wife's face is probably an 80 out of 100, but she has a great figure with long, slender legs. Even at 40, she hasn't lost her shape. Wearing high heels, she seemed taller than me when we stood together (I'm 173cm). We talked about fishing, but I had no interest in that at all. Dinner was around 10 pm, and I wanted to use the drinking at the dinner to get my wife drunk. Actually, my wife can hold her liquor; she was only slightly tipsy that day. The guesthouse had a restaurant downstairs and a hotel upstairs. The leader said that after drinking, we couldn't drive and should go upstairs to rest for a while before leaving. The three of us went upstairs. After a while, the boss said they were out of cigarettes and asked Lao Xu to go buy some. This was something Tian had discussed beforehand. He told Lao Xu to just leave the door open and stand guard outside. He then typed something, saying he was very excited, as he had never experienced anything like this before. I asked, "Don't you have feelings for my wife? Why are you giving her to someone else?" He replied, "Brother, we don't talk about feelings online, we just like bodies." He said he regretted closing the door completely. After a while, his phone rang; it was the boss, who told him to come in. Once inside, he said he saw two pale, fleshy bodies lying on the kang (heated brick bed). In our area, many guesthouses have kang beds, not regular beds. There were wads of toilet paper under the kang. Old Xu said his wife was completely naked, just sitting there, being held by him. The guy was smoking, looking quite content. Old Xu said he thought he saw tears in his wife's eyes. Then, seeing Old Xu say, "Two beasts," the guy got excited and made Old Xu take his clothes off too, to join in. I asked the guy how old he was, and Old Xu said under 40. Then he said a name, and my scalp tingled. That guy was a notorious thug in our area, a real killer in fights. Later, he went into business and made a fortune. No wonder he didn't give Old Xu any money. Old Xu started talking about leaders. I thought, "Who is it?" He was just self-appointed some kind of general manager. People like that may not lack women, but most of them are prostitutes. Ordinary people would run away from such a scoundrel like the plague.This time, meeting my wife, a female head nurse, I wanted something exciting. So, we went at it until 7 PM. The thug went four times, Lao Xu three times, and there was also a "sandwich" incident. I didn't understand what "sandwich" meant at first, but Lao Xu explained it meant two dicks going in at once, making my wife scream. Lao Xu said he really admired that guy. Lao Xu was using drugs, and that guy was incredibly strong. He wouldn't stop until he'd used hundreds of drugs in one position. We basically tried every trick in the book. While having sex with my wife, she kept begging for mercy. After the guy ejaculated, my wife recovered quickly. Lao Xu said, "Brother, why didn't you appreciate it before?" I was speechless. After that three-person encounter, my wife deleted Lao Xu's number and changed her phone number because she knew she couldn't mess with that thug. A few months ago, she added Lao Xu again, saying she was married and wouldn't do this again, asking him not to bother her anymore. I'll stop here for now. I don't want to write too many details about the sex; I just want to truthfully express the situation and my feelings at the time.

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