I've slept with a lot of girls, but I don't think I'm a jerk. (Repost)

page views:1 Publication date:2017-11-16

1.
While having dinner, a woman in the divorce group said she never wanted to get married again and only wanted to find someone to satisfy her sexual needs. The married women in the group were incredibly envious and immediately started chattering, planning and screening casual sex partners for her, as if casual sex partners were everywhere, something you could bump into anywhere.

Actually, finding a good casual sex partner is no easier than finding a husband.

First, the casual sex partner has to be clean. Yes, I've said before, a good casual sex partner shouldn't have oily hair, shouldn't wear underwear with holes, and if they have a beard, it shouldn't smell. They shouldn't have cavities, bad breath, armpit odor, onychomycosis, athlete's foot, etc. They should be at least 1.76 meters tall and shouldn't have a big belly. Most importantly, they shouldn't easily sleep with women. There are so many diseases these days, and promiscuous men are dangerous; some viruses don't show up in men. But, the phrase "a clean-living casual sex partner" sounds ridiculous. If he doesn't easily sleep with others, why would he sleep with you? He wants a clean private life, yet he wants to sleep with you, and he wants to sleep with you without any feelings. This is a huge paradox from the start, and it feels like it all depends on fate.

Secondly,
a casual sex partner can't be poor. If a woman is going to find a casual sex partner, she doesn't intend to spend their money, but she also doesn't want to spend much on them. A poor man usually dresses poorly, eats until he's about to throw up at a buffet, and is stingy about comparing prices on several group-buying websites when booking a hotel room—it really affects his libido. Moreover, poverty makes people ignorant. While a little girl's ignorance is cute, a man's ignorance is simply unappealing.

For example, when trying to ease the awkwardness before bed, he might suddenly say, "Wow, look, these curtains are so high-end, they can even be remote-controlled!" and open and close them twice. If you're applying something to your face and he sees Japanese writing, he'll immediately jump up and say, "How can you use Japanese products? Every Japanese person should die! And you're giving them money!" He might spend a few hundred dollars on a doctor's visit and conclude that all doctors are greedy and only know how to rip people off… He always has a knack for killing the conversation. Even if two people only have sex and don't talk about money or feelings, they can't remain completely silent. If the partner is short on cash, lacks worldly experience, and suffers from paranoia, the sex will become very disheartening. We all know that it's easy to feel empty after an orgasm. When your orgasm is brought on by a man you despise, the emptiness will be mixed with self-blame, regret, confusion, discouragement, and other negative emotions. This can lead you to compensate with even more intense sex the next time, quickly turning you into a promiscuous woman. I strongly discourage women from promiscuity; you should be able to see that from the first point.

Thirdly
, there should be no cooperation with your partner except for physical intimacy. Otherwise, the ensuing conflict will be chilling. Your purpose in having a casual sex partner is to improve your skin and mood, not to create unnecessary trouble.

Fourth, a casual sex partner must have the quality of being able to handle things independently if problems arise. Since there's no emotional connection between casual sex partners, men often sacrifice the least valuable one when forced to make a choice. Therefore, a casual sex partner's sense of responsibility is crucial and should be carefully assessed beforehand. He should genuinely respect you and respect sex. This kind of high-quality, scarce resource is already rare, and it's uncertain if any are left in the casual sex partner community.

Fifth, a casual sex partner must be far removed from your social circle to avoid lingering issues after a breakup. Everyone understands. Casual sex partners are temporary, like a vibrator that whispers sweet nothings. Love, or rather, relationships, are more likely to last. If you have casual sex with a few people during your single period for six months, and then find a boyfriend, imagine seeing him laughing and chatting with his casual sex partner at work. Wouldn't you feel uneasy? Wouldn't you feel that his laughter had ulterior motives? Wouldn't you feel disgusted? If you find someone outside your social circle, it's different. After a breakup, there won't be such a person hovering in front of you, reminding you of that unsavory past.

4.
In addition, it's important to consider whether your sexual partner has heart disease, high blood pressure, or cardiovascular disease. Nobody wants to die suddenly during orgasm, but similar news reports surface every year. Your sexual partner must be safe in every way: they won't lie to you, won't secretly take nude photos of you, won't blackmail or extort you, won't cause you any trouble, won't try to develop a deeper relationship with you, and must be physically and mentally healthy, have a spirit of dedication, and a grateful heart. Furthermore, your sexual partner must reach a consensus with you in bed—note, this is a consensus without feelings or love.

This requires one person to have a good personality, be particularly willing to compromise, or be naturally compatible in terms of sexuality. It can't be that you prefer condoms while they prefer medicated films, you prefer anal sex while they prefer anal sex, one person can have pleasure in three minutes while the other takes thirty minutes to find the feeling… Sex is a very subtle thing; it can't be scored by things like size, feel, or intensity. It's mysterious and elusive. With one person, a little arousal might bring an orgasm, while with another, you might sweat profusely but still not find the feeling. So think about it, meeting someone like this in this vast world is no easy feat.

Excellent men never lack women, just as a beautiful and elegant woman never lacks suitors. If two people, to escape the chaos of daily life, go through mountains and rivers to find such a perfect casual sex partner, but they are just casual sex partners, only willing to be casual sex partners, and can only be casual sex partners, thinking about it makes life feel a bit lonely.

I've encountered too many jerks around me. To help everyone avoid such situations, I interviewed my most fun-loving friend, Brother K. I say "fun-loving," not "jerk," because Brother K doesn't consider himself a jerk and has the integrity of a playboy.

Brother K, 27 years old, Gemini

, single, a not-so-low-key rich second-generation from Beijing

. His motto: Women are like clothes; you can't not wear them, and you can't not change them.

Q: How many clothes have you changed this year?

Brother K: No, I haven't changed any.

Q: Okay, let me rephrase the question: How many girls have you slept with?

Brother K: About twenty this year. I don't remember the others, but it's definitely over a hundred in total.

Q: When was your last relationship?

K: About three years ago, back in school.

Q: Why aren't you dating now? Is it because you don't have anyone you like?

K: It's because I like too many people, I'm too fickle, so I don't dare commit to anyone. If what the public considers responsibility means marrying someone, then what I consider responsibility is just a one-on-one relationship. I can't do that, so I don't date.

K: I've slept with many girls, but I don't think I'm a jerk. It was all consensual, each getting what they wanted. I never made any promises, so there was no deception. I didn't force them to go to hotels.

Q: You just said it was a mutually beneficial arrangement?

K: The girls I've dated never skimped on material things. Bags and watches are basic gifts. If they behaved well, buying them a car wouldn't be a problem. They got material things, and I got happiness. It's a mutually beneficial arrangement.

Q: What makes a jerk?

K: Dating girls with the intention of hooking up. When you don't succeed, you say nice things, like "I love you to death," but once you achieve your goal, you tell them, "We're not compatible."

K: I'm not a jerk, because I never hide the fact that I don't want to be in a relationship. I make it clear from the beginning when I start dating someone.

Q: Yeah, like you just said, it's a mutually beneficial arrangement. What if the other person doesn't need material things, but you?

K: I'll judge that. I don't mess with good girls. If she needs material things, I'll assess her worth and then invest in her. If she needs love, then I can only say goodbye.

02

Q: Have you ever encountered someone that made you feel guilty or regretful?

K: Strictly speaking, there are two. One was my girlfriend from college. She got pregnant with my child and had an abortion. She cried her heart out at the time, saying she wanted to keep the baby, and I didn't hesitate.

Actually, I felt really guilty, but there was nothing I could do. I just didn't want that child. I couldn't lie to myself, and I couldn't lie to her.

After that incident, we both realized that the relationship wasn't as solid as we thought, so we broke up. That incident also made me realize how afraid I was of taking responsibility, so I haven't dared to date since. But I'm also just a normal person, I can't escape emotions and desires, so it's become like this now, everyone's just going for the physical, not the emotional.

Question: Is it really possible to completely detach yourself from emotions? Won't you ever make a mistake?

K: Of course I have, and that's what I'm going to talk about next. Last year, to pick up girls, I often picked up rideshares near the Communication University of China, accepting rides from girls with attractive profile pictures.

I picked up a girl who looked very innocent, so we added each other on WeChat, and later, naturally, I asked her out for dinner.

I usually don't spend more than 500 yuan per person when I treat girls to meals, so after I sent her the restaurant address, her first reaction was whether we could go to a cheaper place. I said it was okay, I'd pay. She said then we should choose something cheaper. I said you should decide, so we ended up eating at a restaurant on her school campus.

I remember that meal cost 67 yuan, and she insisted on paying, saying it was to thank me for not charging her for the rideshare last time.

K: Once I was having a party at home. My friends all left after drinking. Maybe because they were too drunk or something, I felt really lonely for a moment, so I called her.

She rushed over to see me, bringing honey lemon tea. I vaguely remember kissing her.

When I woke up the next day, she was gone. The house was spotless, even more professional than my housekeeper's. I saw my socks and underwear were washed clean and hanging on the balcony.

For a moment, I was in a daze, thinking that marrying a wife like her wouldn't be bad, but I told myself to calm down and not hurt someone because of a moment of impulse.

K: Actually, sometimes relationships are built on a series of impulses. The reason why marriages fail is not because of the initial impulse, but because you no longer want to be impulsive for the other person.

K: She was really innocent, unlike those flashy and cheap women in society. She was so innocent that I felt ashamed. I was not good enough for her. So when I realized I had fallen for her, my first reaction was sadness and regret.

Q: What happened next?

K: Later, I disappeared. I stopped contacting her and stopped replying to her messages. Then I posted a photo of myself kissing a strange woman in a nightclub on my WeChat Moments, visible only to her. I actually used such a disgusting method to make her give up.

Q: Do you regret it now?

K: I feel sorry, but I don't regret it. If I hadn't graduated back then, I would definitely have had a passionate relationship with her, and I would have done my best to protect her innocence. But now I'm not qualified. Being with her would make me feel despicable. She's probably the only girl I've loved but never slept with.

Q: Being willing to give up means you didn't really like her that much, right?

K: Not really. Sometimes when you truly fall in love with someone, you feel fear. You're always worried that one action will ruin the beautiful relationship, so you don't dare to move forward. You're afraid she'll see through you, and you're also afraid that you'll let her down someday.

K: Actually, deep down I'm a pretty pure person. Even the most fickle person has a private space in their heart, reserved for only one person. Although I've been playing around, those people have never stepped into my private space.

Q: Did some bad experience in the past lead to this?

K: No, life isn't a story. Characters don't always have twists and turns. I don't. I just know I'm naturally fickle and prone to being unfaithful, so I don't dare to pursue girls who are too serious.

Q3

: Are there any girls who suddenly become serious after playing around with you?

K: Yes, too many. When they realize I'm a sugar daddy, good in bed, and somewhat interesting, they all want to have me.

Q: What do you do then?

K: Avoid them. Generally, girls won't be too proactive. If you say you're busy, they'll tactfully stop bothering you. Sometimes, some girls are oblivious and will message you repeatedly. In these cases, I'll gradually increase the time I spend replying, from five minutes to five hours.

In these situations, girls get angry, and the most extreme reaction is deleting you as a friend. I generally never add them back. After all, girls who delete friends are usually quite demanding, lacking patience in relationships, let alone someone like me who doesn't date. Besides, adding them back would make them think I care a lot, which would be even harder to handle later. So, let them delete me.

K-bro, but I want to advise those girls who delete friends so easily, it's really childish. Instead of wasting time on that, why not edit some selfies? Even if you don't attract your target's attention, you might find a new one.

Q: Do you plan to continue like this? Do you have any plans to get married?

K-bro: Probably. Life is so long, what if I meet someone who can tame me?

K-bro: Many people say to get married later because that's when you can figure out what you really want. Actually, that's not true. People always want everything. Getting older is because you've figured out what compromise is. You have to constantly experience things to prioritize what's important and what's not, then grasp the truly important things and let go of the unimportant ones. You can't have everything.

Q: What if you never meet that person who can tame you? Then you won't get married?

K-bro: Then I'll find someone of equal social standing, a powerful union. Anyway, love will fade, only money is real.

K-bro: Many women want to marry into wealth based on their looks, but very few succeed, it's like winning the lottery. Rich people might date you, but they might not marry you. It's like an investment; your beauty fades with age, but your assets only appreciate. Why would a smart person choose an investment that might lose money? Question

4

: K-Brother, who's been through countless relationships without getting attached, do you have any experience to share?

K-Brother: My secret is—being handsome, generous, and interesting. These three things are enough.

If I had to share some experience, the first point is not to post content online, like on Weibo or WeChat Moments. Girls these days are very smart; they can dig up all your relationships from your Weibo posts.

I never use any social media, and I don't like or comment on any girls' posts; I always message them privately. If I reply, mutual friends might find out. Because I'm very careful about this, my private life has always been a mystery to those around me.

The second point is not to make promises lightly, lest you break them later. I've only made one promise in my life, to my first love, that I would never cheat on her. So, before I was about to go to a hotel with another girl, I specifically called her and broke up with her, which can be considered keeping my promise.

Q: Any advice for the girls?

K: Never date a poor loser. Being poor in school is fine, but if he's been struggling in society for a long time and still hasn't achieved anything, he'll only drag you down.

K: Sex and liking aren't closely related. Wanting to sleep with you doesn't necessarily mean he likes you. Not being in a hurry to sleep with you might mean he likes you. Wanting to sleep with you again after sleeping with you doesn't necessarily mean he likes you; it could be that he can't find anyone else to sleep with. But wanting to sleep with you definitely means he likes you.

I hate those naive girls who are always asking online, "Should I sleep with him? Will he stop liking me if I do?" If he doesn't like you after sleeping with you, then he didn't like you that much when he wasn't sleeping with you. There's no right or wrong, only what you want or don't want. Don't worry about whether he likes you or not; ask yourself if you're willing.

Why limit yourself? It's your body. If you feel the right way, then go for it. You always talk about feminism, but when it comes to this, you lower yourself and feel like you're being taken advantage of? I don't understand.

K: Don't start raising your expectations and thinking about the future every time you meet a seemingly nice guy. The more you expect, the heavier your heart becomes, and the easier it is to be disappointed. Treat chatting, eating, and watching movies with men like you're having a casual get-together with friends; it'll be much more relaxed and enjoyable. If he doesn't ask you out one day, just find another friend, like me.

Me: No, no, please don't ruin my fans' lives; they're all good girls.

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