Five key issues to consider when couples make friends, along with preventative measures and remedies.

page views:1 Publication date:2018-01-29

Author: Beware of Radiation
Link: https://www.zhihu.com/question/28177241/answer/135757602
Source: Zhihu
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What to do if your wife/husband falls in love with someone else?
What to do if you have an unplanned pregnancy?
What to do if you contract a sexually transmitted disease?
What to do if the affair is exposed and known to everyone (including legal consequences)?
How to handle unpleasant issues that may arise during the interaction?

If you are a stable couple and do not want to destroy your family by playing this game, I suggest you discuss these four issues before starting the game.
There are risks in doing anything, and seeking pleasure naturally involves risks. Think about whether you can bear the risks.
Recommended preventive measures and remedies:
Question 1: What to do if you contract a sexually transmitted disease?
Preventive measure 1: Always use condoms with people you don't know well.
Preventive measure 2: Both yourself and the people you interact with regularly should have regular checkups.
Get checked every six months, and also check if any abnormalities are found in the genital area. If any problems are found in the STD six tests, stop the interaction immediately and seek treatment promptly.
Preventive measure 3: Get the HPV vaccine.
Although the effect of this vaccine is limited for those with prior sexual experience, it's better than nothing. If you're going to have sex, it's best for both partners to get vaccinated. However, don't think that you can be careless about health and hygiene just because you've been vaccinated; the vaccine's effectiveness is very limited.
Preventive measure 4: Pay attention to personal hygiene. Before interacting, ask your partner to wash and check.
Blood tests at the hospital cannot detect all problems, especially some problems on the surface of the genital skin. (Especially when interacting with an unfamiliar partner.) Have your wife carefully examine your partner's genitals. (It's embarrassing for a man to have another man examine his genitals, so it's best if your wife does it.) Ensure sufficient light, fully retract the foreskin for a thorough examination, and also check the skin under the pubic hair. If you find redness, swelling, blisters, skin damage, odor, abnormal color, etc., do not continue the interaction. If no problems are found, use a disinfectant wash to thoroughly clean his genitals (including pubic hair) again.
When examining a wife, if she has a dominant (S) personality, she can bend over and examine the object like a queen examining a male concubine. If she has a submissive (M) personality, she can kneel down, make a sucking motion with her mouth , and bring her face close to examine it. Generally, this won't cause embarrassment.
New couples who haven't been in the industry for long often find their wives too shy to examine them, which is not good. It's best to find an experienced couple to teach them (with guidance, they won't be shy anymore), or start with a familiar single man. Newcomers should avoid dating unfamiliar single men.
Prevention measure 5: Play with a fixed group of people.
This is somewhat contradictory to prevention measures 1 and 2 in question 1. A fixed group of people makes it easier for feelings to develop over time, but changing people frequently and having relationships with too many people increases the risk of health problems. In this regard, I suggest prioritizing health, focusing on a fixed group of people, and using non-fixed groups as a supplement. I will write about how to prevent and handle the problem of feelings developing over time later.
Prevention measure 6: Choose people you know well.
This is somewhat contradictory to the prevention measures in question 4.
Remedial measures: Treat the problem promptly if it is discovered .

What if the wife/husband falls in love with someone else after a long time?
Preventive Measures 1. Control the frequency of interaction with individual game partners (except for those who live together).
(For example, if the husband is away for a month and the wife is partying with the same single man every night during that month, the risk of problems increases. However, if she only sees him once a week, the risk is much lower.)
Preventive Measures 2. At the same time, the wife should have two or more different game partners besides her husband.
(Playing with different people can significantly reduce dependence on one person. For example, playing with the same single man twice a week; or playing with two different single men twice a week...)
Preventive Measures 3. Prohibit older unmarried/divorced women without a stable boyfriend from participating in the game.
(This is mainly to prevent the husband from having problems. Older single women may fall in love with someone because of sex and try to destroy his current family...)
Preventive Measures 4. Choose couples/partners with stable relationships to participate in the activities.
(If their relationship is stable and they are unlikely to separate, it's less likely that one of them will be left single and pursue another of us due to a divorce/breakup in the exchange. Whether you're exchanging partners/finding a single man/woman, try to find someone with a stable relationship, preferably with your partner's consent. If your partner doesn't agree, and it gets discovered, the relationship might be in trouble...and the risk increases...)
Precaution 5: When choosing a "fast-food single man" without a wife or stable girlfriend, try to choose one who is unlikely to reach the point of marriage with a wife, such as someone 8 years younger than your wife, etc. However, there are a few exceptions.
It's best to avoid "fast-food single men." If you must choose one, it should be an undergraduate student. Young, energetic, and with a short refractory period...and many other advantages. They generally won't intentionally try to break you up to pursue your wife. ...The risk for single men is actually quite high. A few years ago, when I was a single man, I "stole" someone else's girlfriend...facepalm...it wasn't intentional. They separated because the woman's family strongly opposed it, not because I intentionally seduced them. They still interact frequently now, so it wasn't a complete abduction.
(Why can there be exceptions? Because there are a few that your wife likes. Since you're playing this game, you should let your wife play with what she likes, otherwise what's the point?)
Precaution 6: When interacting with strangers for a short time, you should conceal your information, including frequently used contact methods and addresses.
(For newly formed couples, if interacting with strangers, the first few interactions should ideally be in a hotel, and don't add them on WeChat/QQ or leave your frequently used phone number. You can tell them your real name [in case the police check the room, as long as it's not a three-person interaction, knowing each other's real names will generally not cause trouble. Also, be cautious about multi-person interactions in hotels; specific issues are discussed in section 4]. Experienced couples can rent a "sex room" for daily activities. This can control the problem of the game partner becoming overly clingy after the interaction. Only when you are very familiar and trust the interaction partner can they know your main personal information.)
Of course, the most crucial thing is that your relationship must be stable. If your relationship has problems, dating is not a panacea; it can only enhance your relationship.
Now let's talk about remedial measures:
Remedial measure 1: Accept that your wife's new lover
has fallen in love with someone else. Will it definitely destroy the family?
Couples' online activities are not simply about sexual release, especially for women, as sex and love are not always completely separated. It's understandable that developing feelings of attraction or even love after prolonged sexual activity is possible. (Of course, this is my opinion; some couples I know believe that if the wife develops feelings for her online partner, the relationship should be immediately broken up. I think this is wrong; it's like giving the wife a human massage. A wife's attraction to a single man can lead to better pleasure with him, and attraction and love are difficult to distinguish, so don't reject feelings of love/attraction.) As a husband, since you've chosen this activity, don't be hostile towards your wife's new partner. You should encourage her to continue interacting with him, and if both of you have the means, consider having him/her stay at your home. (Someone asked: Didn't you say you wanted to hide personal information? That's for strangers you've just met and don't know well. If your wife has "fallen in love" with him, it's obvious you're already very familiar with him [perhaps through interaction, or perhaps he/she was already an acquaintance]. There's no need to be wary of personal information.)
Remedy 2: If your wife falls in love with someone else, the husband should win her back.
Does loving him today mean loving him forever?
If your wife falls for a gaming partner, you, as the husband, should pay more attention to her, have more sex with her, and also encourage her to interact with other men she likes. This will distract her from him, and over time, she won't feel as "in love" with this man, greatly reducing the risk.
Question 3: What to do about an unplanned pregnancy?
Prevention measures: 1. Normal contraception.
Condoms are recommended, as they also prevent STIs. For a few close, familiar partners, if your wife prefers unprotected sex, you can choose oral contraceptives like Marvelon, depending on her health condition. 2. Remedial
measures: Prepare for unplanned pregnancies.
There is no 100% reliable contraception method. If an unplanned pregnancy occurs, it's best to have a contingency plan in place. My suggestion is: as a husband, if you're going to have sex, you should support your wife if she becomes pregnant unplanned, regardless of who the father is.
The contingency plan should include: 1. Whether to give birth or abort; 2. Whether to deliberately prevent the potential father from knowing; 3. Whether to investigate whether the child is yours. These three issues should be discussed beforehand.
As a man, you need to be responsible. Since you've chosen to have sex, if something goes wrong, please don't make your wife have an abortion (unless your wife is a staunch DINK and insists on having an abortion). It's best to clearly tell your wife, "Don't abort the child just because it might/is definitely not mine."
As for whether to do a DNA test and whether to avoid letting the other women know, that's a matter of opinion.
My wife now lets me have sex with two other men without contraception, but I haven't gotten pregnant yet. There was another woman (one of the men's wives) with whom the three of us had sex before, and now she has a child (we've agreed never to find out who the father is), and we'll start using contraception from now on.
Question 4: What if the affair is exposed and everyone finds out?
Prevention measures: 1. When interacting with multiple friends, you can conceal your marital/romantic relationship.
When interacting with friends and acquaintances, minimize interactions with friends who know both of you. Instead, interact more with acquaintances who only know one of you (but these should be long-term, reliable friends with whom you can share your relationship—safer and more exciting).
For example, I have a classmate who doesn't know my wife. I could tell him a girl wants to meet up… then my wife goes to meet him… later we have a threesome, and he doesn't even know the girl is my wife. When interacting with multiple friends of your wife, it's not necessary for them to know I'm her husband.
Precaution 2: Minimize interactions with multiple friends who know both of you.
If they know both of you before the interaction, they can't hide your relationship, and the risk of exposure is high. Be cautious with multiple interactions! However, this doesn't mean you can't interact with such friends at all; your wife can go on one-on-one dates with them.
Precaution 3: Avoid interacting with people who might cause serious conflicts of interest (regardless of whether it's a multiple-person or two-person interaction).
(This isn't about just anyone with a conflict of interest, but rather a serious one. For example, if your wife works in a private company, her direct supervisor is usually not someone with a serious conflict of interest, because it's just a job, and you can easily change jobs. It's also unlikely you'll offend your boss and become their enemy. However, your wife's direct subordinates, peers, and suppliers at the company are more dangerous. These are people who often need your wife's favors, and you can't always satisfy their needs. In rare cases, this can lead to a complete falling out and them threatening to spread rumors…)
Prevention Measure 4: Focus on two-person interactions rather than group interactions, but the husband shouldn't be too far away.
The wife can have one-on-one dates with her date, and she can call her husband during these dates or recount the experience later. This is already quite exciting; group interactions don't need to be deliberately pursued.
Important note for one-on-one dates: If the wife has a one-on-one date with a new date, the husband must be nearby!!!
As the saying goes, "You can know a person's face but not their heart." A very small number of people may appear very polite in person, but when sexually aroused, they can be extremely savage and violent, disrespecting women's wishes (such as forcing anal sex against their will). Therefore, when meeting a new person for the first time, it's best to do so in a hotel or your own private room rather than their home. If it's a hotel, the husband should ideally follow them there and book a separate room for them as well. The wife should send the room number to her husband and keep them on the phone throughout the encounter (with the husband remaining silent).
If it's in your own private room, the husband should wait outside and keep them on the phone the entire time.
Precaution 5: When engaging in group activities, be careful about the location!
Group activities are best done in private rooms, entire rental properties, or entire guesthouses in tourist areas. If conditions don't allow for this, a hotel suite can be considered cautiously, but avoid regular hotel rooms.
Group activities are illegal in China!
Question 1: How to handle unpleasant issues that may arise during the dating process?
Prevention Measure 1: Before any interaction, clearly communicate your (and your spouse's) sexual orientation and acceptable modes of interaction with the person you are interacting with (e.g., whether penetration is allowed, whether a condom is required, whether anal sex is permitted, whether kissing (or French kissing
) is acceptable, etc.). Also, understand the other person's sexual orientation and acceptable modes of interaction. Require the other person to respect your rules, and also respect theirs. Prevention Measure 2: Choose a partner with a similar social circle (or someone of good character).
Prevention Measure 3: When the wife first meets a new partner, the husband should be nearby (if in a hotel, ideally in a separate room, and on the phone throughout the interaction) to intervene promptly if any coercive issues arise.
Countermeasure 1: If the person you are interacting with does something that is unacceptable to you, never interact with that person again.
Issues with same-sex contact during interactions: Same-sex contact (non-intimate, non-sexual) is often unavoidable in group activities. Those who cannot accept this are not suitable for group interactions. However, there's a limit to this kind of same-sex contact, and the specific limits need to be discussed beforehand. If one or both parties are firmly straight, for example, my preferred approach is "when a single man is having sex with his wife, I lick their genitals," but I won't suck the single man's penis, nor do I want a single man to suck my penis. Some single men don't want men to lick their genitals when they're having sex with women, so this needs to be agreed upon beforehand to avoid misunderstandings.

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Five key issues to consider when couples make friends, along with preventative measures and remedies.

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