【And then?】Seven

page views:1 Publication date:2020-07-15

Chapter Seven: My Obsession.

His online name was "Contemplation." After adding each other as friends, it was obvious this was a secondary account; mine was also recently created.

Because we had a preliminary exchange in previous posts, after a brief greeting, we got straight to the point without any unnecessary small talk. I told him about my shared confusion and asked some simple questions about pornography. He answered them all sincerely. Of course, since it was our first meeting, we didn't discuss anything too deep.

Soon after, he went offline because he had something to do. I also deleted all chat history and login information and shut down my computer. I felt a little relieved because I had confided my long-held secret to someone for the first time.

For a while afterward, I frequently had similar conversations with "Contemplation." The topics weren't limited to pornography; we also talked about interesting things in life and our respective opinions on various matters. It was like chatting with a regular online friend. Over time, a basic trust was built.

Later, because of my curiosity, he began to tell me more about the beginning and end of his involvement with pornography, including how he came into contact with it and his communication with his wife. From his wife's initial strong opposition to her gradual acceptance and finally to their decision to have sex, it was a long process.

What surprised me was that they didn't engage in this activity frequently, maybe only two or three times a year. Because they understand and communicate with each other, their married life is now very harmonious, and their sex life is also very fulfilling. Furthermore, the experience of having sex has given them a significant leap in their understanding and perspective on sex. They often prepare small surprises for each other, both in daily life and in bed.

After hearing his story, I felt a sense of envy and longing.

When I expressed my own desire to have sex, he didn't immediately approve. Instead, he strongly urged me to think it over carefully, to consider whether my life was truly necessary, and to think about my wife's personality and capacity to handle such situations.

After all, having sex would be a huge shock and a radical change for a family, both in terms of emotional foundation and life values.

Although I admit that Si and I still maintain a very happy and loving relationship, I was blinded by greed and eager to experience the novelty and excitement of sex, deliberately ignoring the consequences it would bring.

Because of my persistence, Chen Si finally agreed to tell me some of their rules regarding sex.

First and foremost, the woman's wishes must be fully respected. If she disagrees, no action can be taken against her will, and the use of force is strictly prohibited—this is the bottom line of sex. Respect for each other's privacy is also crucial. If one party doesn't want to disclose something, they shouldn't pry, but must be honest about their physical health. The man must be a gentleman, fully respecting and caring for the woman, and must not harm her body or use methods that make her uncomfortable. After the activity, if the other party doesn't want to continue, they shouldn't pester her. If there are children, it's strictly forbidden to disclose any sex-related topics to them. Financial transactions are strictly prohibited.

Regarding my request for help on how to persuade my wife, Chen Si said he couldn't help. However, he offered a few suggestions: increase the wife's desire for sex, increase her tolerance, and try to clearly explain to her what sex is, blurring the lines between sex and morality. Most importantly, honesty is essential.

His suggestions left me bewildered and somewhat lost. First of all, I don't even know how to bring up this topic with Si, who loves me so much. I can almost picture her terrified expression and her intense reaction.

Si suggested that I gradually introduce my wife to more open sexual concepts in our daily life. This could start with pornographic movies, novels, and verbal teasing during our intimate moments. We can bring it up when the time is right.

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