My Private Past with My Two Older Sisters (36)

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I was constantly torn between Su Ling and Li Meiting, deeply troubled by a question.

If I continued my secret relationship with Su Ling, it would be too unfair to Li Meiting, who loved me so deeply; I couldn't do that. If I got together with Su Ling and broke up with Li Meiting, it would hurt her too much, and it would also hurt both the Shen and Li families; I couldn't do that either. If, as Su Ling said, I stopped seeing her and Bao'er after this period, I would find it equally difficult.

This was undoubtedly an unsolvable, super-dilemma for me, leaving me torn between two conflicting emotions and endless hesitation. It was also quite painful, because every time I met with Su Ling, I felt incredibly guilty towards Li Meiting, yet out of love and reluctance for Su Ling, I would repeatedly pull her into my arms and press her down beneath me.

I felt like I was being torn apart; sometimes I wished I had the ability to be in two places at once, so I wouldn't hurt either of them.

One late night, around 11 p.m., it was raining heavily, and I drove to the airport to pick up Li Meiting. I received a call from Su Ling on the way. She rarely calls me at this time, usually sending a message on WeChat, because she's afraid Li Meiting will find out.

"Yuhao, Bao'er is sick, he has a high fever." Su Ling said as soon as I answered, her voice sounding very anxious.

My heart skipped a beat, and I asked, "Have you taken his temperature?"

"Yes, it's 39 degrees."

I panicked immediately. "Did he take fever reducer?"

"Yes, we've tried cold compresses and rubbing him with alcohol, but it just won't go down." Su Ling said, then paused and added, "No, I have to take him to the hospital."

"Okay, hurry up and get him to the hospital. Where are your parents?"

"They went back to their hometown for some business. Yuhao, you..."

I knew what she meant. It was so late, and it was raining heavily, and she didn't have a car.

"I..." I hesitated, saying awkwardly, "I'm on my way to the airport to pick up Li Meiting."

She said "Oh," her voice clearly disappointed. "It's okay, I'll take a taxi, don't worry about it."

"Sister..." I trailed off.

"It's really nothing..." Su Ling laughed on the phone, "I can get a taxi, go pick up Tingting, don't be late."

She hung up after saying that. I felt completely lost, and the image of Su Ling, alone in the pouring rain, holding Bao'er, carrying a bag, and holding an umbrella, anxiously waiting for a taxi on the streets at night.

I gritted my teeth, turned around at the next intersection, and dialed Su Ling's number.

She told me that she had just taken Bao'er out, and I told her to wait for me at the entrance of the community. She asked what about Tingting. I said that at a time like this, you shouldn't worry about her. She was silent for a moment, and then said, "Okay." I could hear the relief in her voice. She also told me not to drive too fast and to be careful.

I drove towards Su Ling's community while dialing Li Meiting's number, but I couldn't get through; she probably hadn't gotten off the plane yet. I had no choice but to put down my phone and keep driving.

When I arrived at the entrance of the community, Su Ling was waiting for me there, holding an umbrella and carrying Bao'er. I quickly got the mother and child into the car and drove as fast as I could to Xiamen Children's Hospital.

On the way, Su Ling asked me again about Li Meiting. I said I couldn't get through to her cell phone earlier, so she was probably still in the air. I'd call her again later; the child was the priority.

After arriving at the hospital, we took Bao'er to the emergency room and got her on an IV drip. Su Ling and I were a little relieved.

I asked her why Bao'er suddenly had a fever. She said she probably caught a chill while playing outside that afternoon. I held her hand and said, "It's okay, I'm here!"

She smiled slightly at me and wearily rested her head on my shoulder. At that moment, I had never felt so strongly that they needed me, that Su Ling needed a strong man's shoulder to lean on, and that Bao'er needed a father's warm embrace.

But just then, Li Meiting called, asking anxiously, "Brother, where are you?"

I realized she was still waiting for me at the airport; I'd forgotten to call her in my haste.

I had no choice but to leave the ward and tell her that Hao Wei's sister's son had suddenly fallen ill, his brother-in-law was away on a business trip, and his sister couldn't manage on her own. He was also drunk, so she asked me to help take his sister and nephew to the hospital. Actually, Hao Wei didn't have a sister at all.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? Now the buses have all left, and I'm all alone. It's raining so hard, what am I going to do?" Li Meiting complained.

"I'm sorry, Tingting, I tried calling your cell phone but couldn't get through..." I said apologetically. "Why don't you take a taxi?"

Li Meiting said that there were no more flights taking off or landing at this time, and it was difficult to get a taxi at the airport. I had no choice but to say that I would come pick her up now.

She thought for a moment and said, "Never mind, it's too far. You should help your friend! I'll see if I can call a ride-hailing service."

I said okay, and told her to be careful. As soon as I turned around after the call, I saw Su Ling standing behind me. She said, "Yuhao, why don't you go pick up Tingting? Bao'er's got me here! She's already at the hospital, so there's nothing to worry about."

"Bao'er's fever hasn't gone down yet! How can I leave you and your child behind? Tingting's fine, she's a grown woman, don't worry about her." I said, putting my arm around Su Ling's shoulder and walking into the ward.

She glanced at me. I could sense in that glance both the unease and guilt she felt because of Li Meiting, and the relief that she had someone to rely on.

A little while later, I called Li Meiting again to ask if she had managed to get a ride. She said she had, not a ride-hailing service, but a taxi. I secretly breathed a sigh of relief, because of a case last year in Zhengzhou where an air hostess was murdered after taking a ride-hailing service in the early morning, which made me quite worried about her safety. Although it was a very small probability event, if it happened, the consequences would be unimaginable.

I gave Li Meiting a few instructions, telling her to be careful and to text me as soon as she got home. I also asked her to secretly take a picture of the driver and vehicle information on the dashboard in the passenger seat and send it to me. She seemed much better than before, asking if Hao Wei's nephew was feeling better.

I felt a pang of guilt and told her he was fine and to be careful. Back in the ward, Su Ling asked me about Li Meiting again. I told her she had already gotten a taxi and was on her way home.

Seeing the exhaustion on Su Ling's face, I said, "Lean on me and sleep for a while. I'll keep an eye on Bao'er." She smiled and nodded, saying, "It's so good to have you," and leaned on my shoulder again.

Soon I heard her heavy, slightly rapid breathing, knowing she had fallen asleep. I didn't move, afraid of waking her, and texted Li Meiting every few days to ask where she was. She told me everything. As she got closer to home, my anxiety for her lessened.

That early morning, I cared for and worried about both women, thankfully all was well.

Around 3 a.m., Bao'er finished her IV drip and her fever subsided, finally putting Su Ling and me at ease.

Before leaving the hospital, the doctor prescribed some medicine for us to take home. She clearly mistook Su Ling and me for a couple, reminding us that this was peak season for childhood influenza and we needed to be careful.

Su Ling and I exchanged a glance; I could clearly see the joy in her eyes at the doctor's misunderstanding.

Later, I specifically told Hao Wei not to let Li Meiting know. He asked me, "So what were you doing? Having an affair?"

I had no choice but to tell the truth: Su Ling's child suddenly developed a high fever, and she couldn't find anyone to help her, so she had to come to me. But I didn't tell Hao Wei that Su Ling's child was my son. Hao Wei asked me if I had rekindled my old flame with Su Ling. I vehemently denied it.

One afternoon, after making love with Su Ling, we soaked in the bathtub, enjoying the post-coital bliss and tranquility. She leaned against me and whispered, "Yu Hao, take me and Bao'er away, to a place where nobody knows us."

In that instant, I truly wanted to disregard everything and elope with the woman I loved most and my son. I cupped her breasts in my hands, kissed her neck, and said, "Okay."

She smiled softly, reached behind me, and gently stroked my cheek. "Having you is enough for me."

She turned to look at me. "Do you love me?"

"I love you!" I said with absolute certainty, kissing her lips.

She kissed me deeply. Then she turned around, reached underwater, grasped my newly erect member, and slipped it under her.

"I love you too, I really love you!" she said, moving her body up and down as she kissed me.

Time flew by in my indecisiveness. In the blink of an eye, a month and a half had passed since Su Ling and I reunited.

Su Ling had to return to Shanghai to handle some matters. For years, the old man's widow and adult children had been demanding the money he had given her during the time he had supported her. Recently, they filed another lawsuit, and she had to go back to defend herself.

I offered to go to Shanghai with her; although I couldn't help much, I could at least offer some support. She said it wasn't necessary; she had a trustworthy lawyer there. She didn't let Bao'er come with her, but stayed with her grandparents.

The day she left, Bao'er and I saw her off at the airport. In the waiting hall, she cried when she kissed Bao'er. I laughed and said it was only for ten days, don't make it seem like a life-or-death separation.

"What do you know! Since Bao'er was born, I've never been separated from him," she said coquettishly, then kissed me goodbye.

Watching Su Ling's figure disappear through the security gate, my phone rang. It was Li Meiting calling.

"Tingting..." I said, pressing the answer button.

"Honey, where are you?" Li Meiting asked on the phone.

"I...I'm at the construction site!" I lied to her again. I'd told her countless lies these past few days in order to see Su Ling and her son.

"Brother, are you really at the construction site?" Li Meiting's voice sounded strange, and my heart skipped a beat.

"Tingting, what's wrong?" I murmured.

"Turn around," Li Meiting said coldly.

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