My daughter is only 18 years old and she's already using sex toys (repost)

page views:2 Publication date:2021-09-23

A mother posted online that her daughter liked to lock her bedroom door as soon as she got home. Out of a mother's natural sensitivity, the mother went through her daughter's closet after she went to school and found sex toys inside.
It was a devastating blow. Her daughter was only 18; how could she be using such things? This was unacceptable to the mother, who considered herself a strict parent.
So the mother confiscated the sex toys and told her husband, and the two of them gave their daughter a severe scolding.
She thought the matter was finally over, but her daughter continued to lock her bedroom door as before. The mother, still worried, secretly checked her daughter's closet again, and found the same thing: her daughter was still secretly using sex toys.
Faced with this situation, the mother was at a loss. She posted online for help: she didn't understand why her daughter, so young, would have such thoughts.
I can understand the instinctive worry and anxiety parents have for their children who haven't fully entered society, especially in a country where the topic of "sex" is often taboo.
Although I'm not a mother yet and can't presume to share my parenting views, I'm a daughter who grew up at this age, so I decided to speak from a daughter's perspective, hoping to offer this mother and other mothers reading this article a slightly different angle for analysis, reflection, and problem-solving.
I was born into a typical Chinese family with absolutely no sex education. My parents had very traditional family education for me, which can be summarized in one sentence: avoidance and restriction far outweighed guidance and communication.
For example, I had to be home before 9 pm and was absolutely not allowed to stay out overnight, but they never explained why there were these rules; I could only obey without question.
This rule continued until I was 22, officially ending the year I graduated from university, because I had to go out to find a job and live far away from my parents, so they couldn't control me anymore.
Because of the strict family upbringing, what they didn't tell me, I found it difficult to learn through other means at a young age.
It wasn't until high school that I learned that children aren't born from their mother's anus; that teenage boys experience nocturnal emissions, while girls only have sexual dreams…
Some of these most basic sex lessons came from classmates, and some I learned by secretly reading pornography and pocket novels.
How much of it was accurate, how much was misleading—I wasn't capable of judging for myself back then. So now, looking back, I desperately wish my parents had systematically and scientifically instilled correct sexual values in me at every stage of my development.
They didn't understand; they could have learned. Instead, I was caught watching porn once by my mother. Because the DVDs were rented by my father, she not only scolded me but also severely reprimanded my father in front of me.
This treatment made me feel like I had done something terrible. How could I be curious about "sex"? A girl's curiosity about "sex" is something that should be shameful.
That's why my mother punished me; she revealed my privacy to someone else, even though that someone else was my father.

But shame couldn't completely suppress my curiosity. I felt guilty and remorseful, reminding myself to be more careful and never let my mother catch me again.
That year, I was 17.
I was in my first relationship.
My first boyfriend tried to force himself on me several times but failed. He was very unhappy with me, and I actually felt sorry.
And all of this, my parents still know nothing about.
Fortunately, my adolescence passed peacefully; I didn't encounter particularly evil people, nor did I experience abortion. However, other girls may not be as lucky as I was.
Recently, I accompanied a friend to a prenatal checkup and happened upon a young girl and her parents having an abortion. The girl's father berated her the entire time, saying she lacked self-respect and was shameless. The girl's mother, meanwhile, just stood by, wiping away tears, saying nothing.
The girl, who looked only fifteen or sixteen, remained silent and expressionless.
I really wanted to go over and hug her, to tell her it wasn't her fault, but rather a fault of human nature, that she was still a precious "little princess," and to remind her to rest after the procedure and to cherish herself in the future.
But I ultimately couldn't find a suitable opportunity to talk to the child's parents or to talk to the child herself.
In the book *Fang Siqi's First Love Paradise*, Fang Siqi, who was sexually assaulted by her teacher, once pleaded with her mother for help, saying: "Our family education has everything, except sex education."
Her mother's response was, "What sex education? Sex education is for those who need sex. Isn't that what education is all about?
How many parents are like Fang Siqi's mother, consistently absent from this most important part of their children's development? They skip class, yet they think school hasn't even started.
Just like the news about the 14-year-old girl who had a relationship with a boy and went to a hotel, only to have her bones broken by her father—after discovering his daughter's early romance, he tried all sorts of heartfelt advice, but when that did
n't work, he resorted to beating her. When the girl agreed to break up, netizens said it was good, that a beating was the only way to control such a disobedient child.
Can beating really kill the budding sexual impulses of adolescence? My family is so strict, and I still had early sexual urges." Are they in love? Aren't they still secretly reading pornographic comics and watching porn?
How many children, after being treated harshly by their parents, give up entirely, or suffer deep emotional wounds that never heal, easily giving their bodies away and surrendering to sweet words?
Many parents often talk about "sex education," but they don't realize that sex education cannot be separated from education about love.
True sex education is an education about love.
And love requires continuous time to understand, guide, encourage, and comfort. Once, twice, three times, four times, five times… is not enough. Before your child becomes independent, she needs your constant love.
This era is different from the past because… The information overload has made everything seem to happen earlier.
When I was 18, I didn't even know what sex toys were, and now it's not uncommon for high school students to exchange thongs.
Returning to the mother who discovered her daughter using sex toys for masturbation, and thinking about myself:
I wish my mother wouldn't rummage through my closets so easily. Although I haven't graduated from high school yet, I'm 18, legally an adult, and I desperately want my own private space.
Furthermore, I don't want more people to know about such a private matter, and I especially don't want to discuss masturbation in front of a man, even if that man is my father.
I hope my mother can be more considerate and understand this... She'll ask me where Xi came from, whether I've been in a relationship, what kind of person my partner is, and guide me to face my sexual desires honestly, paying attention to hygiene and not becoming overly addicted.
Then she and my dad will accompany me on outings, exercise, and do other fun things.
I think this will be easier for me to accept than confiscating my sex toys and criticizing me for using them at such a young age.
Although sex toys are also called adult products, and I'm already within the age range where I can use them, I haven't graduated from high school yet, so my studies should be my priority. Therefore, if my grades slip, I hope my mom can set rules for me, and I will accept punishment, such as her confiscating my sex toys for a month.
Maybe a month from now, I'll have completely forgotten about this thing.
So, dear Mom and Dad, please don't let me remember only that
during my adolescence, because I had a normal "sexual desire," my parents treated me like a disgusting monster. You publicly criticized and berated me, but you didn't apologize for invading my privacy, nor for not providing me with proper sex education.
If all of this still happened, or is happening now, that would truly be frustrating.

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My daughter is only 18 years old and she's already using sex toys (repost)

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