(Repost) Why do women "value emotions over sex"?

page views:1 Publication date:2021-12-30

The idea that men prioritize sex and women prioritize emotion has almost become a universally acknowledged "international axiom." Otherwise, why would a book by a Westerner with a prominent nose be so popular in China? That book goes even further, claiming that men and women are not from the same planet (referring to two books by American John Gray: *Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus* and *Men Are Warriors, Women Are Venus*). Is this fundamental human psychological phenomenon—
men prioritizing sex and women prioritizing emotion—truly a universal human psychological law? And how did it come about?
First, love was created by women.
Human beings' animal ancestors originally did not know what love was; love is an emotion unique to humans.
Ancient apes, regardless of sex, freely and casually sought out mates without the constraints of love. In the hunting era, men went out hunting while women stayed home to care for children. This division of labor was extremely dangerous for women. They needed sustenance but lacked creativity; if men didn't bring back food for them, women in their nursing years would face survival difficulties. Keeping a man's heart with them was the first problem women needed to solve. Love thus arises, becoming the best rope to bind a man. If a man falls in love with me, he will naturally want to come home to me, which determines the so-called exclusivity of love. If a man loves two women at the same time, wouldn't he have to share the rabbit he hunted? Therefore, from the day it was born, love has only benefited women; it is a means for women to control men.
Human face-to-face sexual intercourse made the emergence of love possible. During sex, we see a person's face, not just the same buttocks of every other sex. Differences in buttocks are hard to discern, so animals only want to find one mate during mating, rarely caring whether it's "this one." But this face is very different from that face, becoming a symbol of sexual stimulation and identification, which is why we can fall in love with someone. If you are experiencing orgasm, the thing you face during orgasm will inevitably leave a mark on your mind, creating a psychological correspondence mechanism of "orgasm → this face." Even when you choose another sexual partner, you often find it difficult to escape the style of the face that initially captivated you, and you may still choose the same type of man or woman.
Secondly, male enslavement exacerbates women's worship of love.
Love is a woman's magic weapon, her guarantee of survival; however, it only brings constraints to men. Men's biological nature doesn't require love.
Our close relatives, gorillas, don't engage in third-time sexual activity with the same sex, preferring to constantly pursue and try new things. Humans have almost completely preserved this animalistic habit, if not further developed. Clinging to the same woman only burdens and restricts a man's freedom, depriving him of much spiritual and physical pleasure. But strangely enough, men also advocate for love. Without men's affirmation, women's invention would never have become so widespread. Have men gone mad? Without love, they could simply take a still-warm rabbit they'd just caught and go find any woman to have sex with!
Men affirm love primarily to avoid the brutal killing among men. A man can pursue any woman, which means that many men may want to possess the same woman simultaneously, inevitably leading to conflict. Human males are already armed; if internal fighting breaks out, the future is unimaginable. Appropriately using love to solidify sexual partners is beneficial for stability, unity, and development.
More importantly, women's sexual abilities are actually far greater than men's. Women do not have a refractory period and can continuously reach orgasm. If a woman's sexual potential is fully developed, few men can satisfy her desires. At this point, infidelity becomes an inevitable outcome. In patriarchal culture, men regard women as part of their private property; a woman's infidelity means her property has been stolen.
Therefore, patriarchal society has always emphasized women's sexual weakness and inferiority, even claiming that women have no sexual desire and denying that women can achieve orgasm. When this indoctrination becomes a consensus, women's sexual desire truly diminishes. At the same time, the male world emphasizes female chastity, the three obediences and four virtues, and lifelong fidelity. Not only must women be virgins before marriage, but they also cannot have sexual relations with men other than their husbands after marriage.
Women devoid of sexual desire are seen as exemplary ladies, while those who openly express their sexual desires are condemned as harlots. The idea that women are sexually indifferent benefits men, thus patriarchal culture has consistently shaped the image of women as sexually indifferent through every means. Thousands of years of indoctrination have deeply suppressed women's sexual desires and instincts, to the point that they are unaware of it; sexual indifference has become a collective complex. The formula "sexually indifferent woman = good woman" makes it impossible for women not to regard sexual indifference as normal, beneficial, and even a beautiful virtue.
Sexual indifference is also inseparable from emotional attachment; when human instincts are suppressed, there is always a channel to release energy. Women are trained to obtain sexual satisfaction only from love itself; this is a passive physiological choice, not a difference from another planet. A young girl's daydreams can release her sexual energy, but men cannot; they must take concrete action. This explains why many girls in love complain that their boyfriends are always thinking about sex.
It's also worth mentioning that China is still deeply influenced by the ideas of the May Fourth Movement, one aspect of which related to gender issues is Romanticism, which is still highly regarded. This view of love is a product of the hypocritical sexual morality of the Victorian era in Europe, advocating love while denying sexual desire. The mainstream gender concepts in Chinese society today are still rooted in this Romanticism, making it easy to understand the deep-rooted emphasis on affection over sex. Women still consider valuing affection over sex a virtue, failing to understand that sex is the most natural and essential life force.
Thirdly, valuing affection over sex threatens the establishment of the ideal of gender equality.
Promoting and shaping women's psychology of valuing affection over sex is a man's most successful cunning. On the one hand, they use love to restrain women, while on the other hand, they themselves are not bound by love. Even more so, love is used by men as a means to hunt women. When a man says "I love you," many women understand what he truly wants.
When men ask a woman for sex, they never consider whether there is love; they only consider whether the body is attractive. Women are often puzzled: why would a man seek sex with a prostitute, or even separate sex from love? Why do men always think about sex? The answer isn't hard to find. Love was never intended for men; it was invented by women and used by men to control them.
Fortunately, since the 1980s, China has experienced another intellectual awakening, with the value of the individual being emphasized, and ideologies such as humanism, naturalism, and feminism entering our field of vision. People are beginning to question mainstream societal views and seeking the most effective way to activate their own life energy. We are approaching this consensus: what is natural is most beautiful.
Women are participating in social life, have their own independent economic status, and no longer rely on love to obtain sustenance from men, as their ancestors did. All of this led the first liberated women to begin reflecting on and rebelling against the various dogmas imposed on women by patriarchal society. Some of the most outstanding women completely broke free from the so-called "valuing love over sex" framework. They clearly recognized that this standard, embellished with the color of "virtue," was actually a noose around women's necks, capable of tightening or even killing them at any time. In the West, some feminists even shouted more radical slogans at men: "You can have sex with me simply because you like my body."
Finally, it must be emphasized that although we deeply understand that prioritizing affection over sex is a result of patriarchal culture poisoning women's minds, I still advocate against forcing women holding this view to completely break free from this constraint. After all, the influence of thousands of years cannot be shaken overnight; it requires the long-term joint efforts of all those who pursue gender equality and the complete liberation of humanity. In fact, many women in China today would see you as a villain or a rogue if you asked them to give up "prioritizing affection over sex." As a personal choice, prioritizing affection over sex should not be criticized by anyone. However, we must understand the origin and essence of this psychological phenomenon and stop promoting it as a virtue.
At the same time, we also deeply cherish this ideal: that humanity will overthrow all constraints on human nature, absolutely heed the call of nature, abandon those hypocritical civilizations, and enter a free spiritual space and state of being. At that time, both men and women will achieve complete liberation.

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