Potential pitfalls in online dating

page views:1 Publication date:2022-03-14

1. Scammers: I'm separating this from fake couples. Undeniably, some couples on the platform might think their wives are attractive and engage in paid dating. I don't intend to judge their values or dating methods; they aren't necessarily scammers. If payment is made after meeting in person, then it's not considered a scam. However, if they ask for money or gifts before meeting, they're almost certainly scammers. Don't trust them before meeting. They might send you photos of other couples, forge hotel room cards and booking records to get you to pay in advance, and then block you.

2. Fake Couples: These are basically bored single men who register fake couple accounts. They're eager but lack the courage and patience to find a wife, and their own conditions are average, so they can't meet real couples. They basically just drool over other people's logs and photos on the platform, occasionally adding a few people to chat with out of boredom, sharing photos and short videos they've scavenged from others for self-entertainment, or tricking people into sending photos and videos of their wives' activities. This is why many experienced couples refuse to send photos or only dare to send fleeting snapshots, fearing privacy breaches from these fake couples. However, they don't scam money, just photos. If you ask to meet up, they'll make various excuses or simply stand you up.

3. Talkative and boastful: This type is more complex. It could be a single man posing as a couple, or an inexperienced, overly cautious new couple. They'll chat endlessly, but never actually arrange a meeting.
Some haven't even discussed it with their wives, or haven't even started dating before posting online. After you add them, the initial chat is great, both of you seem satisfied, but when it comes to meeting up, they back out, saying their wives didn't agree. Sometimes the wife genuinely changes her mind at the last minute, sometimes they haven't even discussed it with their wives. They'll offer a token apology, say they'll try to persuade their wives, and then nothing more.
Some are from out of town, chatting endlessly, constantly asking about your past experiences, demanding photos, and they themselves are enthusiastic about sending photos—it's unclear whether they're stolen or genuine. They chatted well, said they'd visit your place often and there would be opportunities to meet up, but then they never contacted you again. Unless you were free to chat with them every day, they'd forget about you after a few days and find someone else to chat with; there's no shortage of people to chat with online.

4. Standing someone up: Literally, it means agreeing to a date but then breaking it. This is a bit different from empty promises and scams. Scammers try to cheat you out of money, and empty promises are just for finding someone to chat with online, but they don't actually arrange a date. Standing someone up means agreeing to a time and place, but then suddenly stopping and becoming unreachable. A few days before New Year's Day, because my friends and their spouses were busy, I posted asking if anyone wanted to meet up. Someone from Suzhou added me and invited me to spend New Year's Eve in Suzhou. We agreed to meet on the afternoon of New Year's Day, but two days into New Year's Day, I couldn't contact them anymore. They were only contactable when they added me; once the agreed-upon time arrived, they disappeared. My situation was relatively mild; I only got stood up online. Some friends booked hotels, went to the hotels, and then couldn't find anyone or contact them when the appointed time arrived.
5. Newbies with no prior preparation: I'm not targeting newbies specifically; everyone starts as a newbie. What I dislike are those who haven't communicated adequately with their wives, assume their wives have already agreed, and rush to post looking for people. This is no different from empty talk; everyone chats well and looks forward to the date, but then you mess things up, leaving everyone disappointed. If you're a newbie, you should lurk more, read more articles, and ideally, have your wife read them too, so she's fully familiar with the community before you post to meet people. Of course, it's fine for beginners to add experienced friends in the circle for communication, but they should be honest. If you're a beginner, just say so. If you want to ask for advice, just say so. People who are willing to communicate with you will naturally add you. If you're not ready, but you post a message looking for a partner with a realistic mindset, and then someone adds you and you say you're not ready and need to discuss it with your wife, even if you won't say anything out of politeness, it will still feel a bit off.
When dealing with beginners, if you really want to make friends successfully, you can only look for couples who have communicated well beforehand. Those have completed the initial psychological preparation and are just waiting to take the first step, and this is more likely to work out. As for those who haven't communicated well at all, don't have any expectations. Most likely, you'll just chat with them and they'll just be another person on your friend list.

6. Adding someone and then not saying anything. Some accounts say in their profiles that they are looking for single men or couples with certain conditions, but they don't post anything. You might have to wait several days or even weeks to get accepted after adding them, and they won't reply to messages afterward. This is likely because they have too many friends and don't care about you. The rest are basically insincere, people who don't really want to play. You don't know if they're a real couple or a single man. They don't post looking for people; they might just have stumbled upon 69 Paradise, created an account, and occasionally look at other people's blogs and photos. There are quite a few people like this; I believe most experienced people in the community have encountered them, whether they're couples or single men.

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Potential pitfalls in online dating

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