[The Journey of Sex]

page views:1 Publication date:2022-04-10

After graduating from university, I stayed in Beijing and worked in sales at a well-known IT company because I knew that good sales could be very lucrative.
I'm currently unmarried and don't have a steady boyfriend, which is somewhat unusual for a woman nearing 30. However, I'm content with my current situation and feel good about it. Although I lack these things, I'm never lacking in sex.
Over the years, I've slowly worked my way up from the bottom, and now I'm still in sales at the same company, but not just selling things; I handle deals worth tens of millions. Initially, I only earned a few hundred yuan a month, but now my annual salary is 400,000 yuan, with double the commission for achieving year-end targets. Even in Beijing, I'd be considered middle class. I own a nice car and a big house, but I'm still single. No one can understand the hardships I've endured.
I'm not a particularly beautiful woman, but I dress in a charming but not vulgar way. I have a beautiful body, which is my asset, and I'm proud of it. It's because of this that so many successful men have fallen at my feet, willingly. I even read many books about how to seduce men and make them obediently submit.
Every woman's first time is worth remembering, but for me, I can't even remember who the man was. I only remember that it was a small deal, but it was crucial in determining whether I or another male colleague would get promoted. Some guy, I don't know who the manager was, took me to a hotel, put the contract on the table, tapped it with his fingers, and started to undress me. I gave in with tears in my eyes, being forced to be beneath that balding old man for a lot of money. There was no pleasure, only excruciating pain and humiliation.
Afterwards, when he saw the bloodstains on the sheets, he was stunned at first, then grinned. He said, "Still a virgin, worth it." Then he readily signed the contract. Holding that piece of paper, I cried all night.
Looking back now, I don't feel humiliated at all; instead, I find it ridiculous. It's just a thin membrane; what difference does it make who it's given to? Over the years, I've become indifferent to everything. In this world, only being poor is shameful. I haven't been home for many years. They just want me to send money back; they don't care if I live or die. I don't know how many men I've slept with, but I don't feel ashamed; I enjoy it.
Of course, I don't accept everyone; I have my own standards. Those who can help my work have priority; I put them first. Next are those who look pleasing to the eye, and of course, they have to be strong and muscular to attract me. I don't like skinny, small men.
At first, I slept with my clients out of necessity. I only offered myself to clients with contracts worth a certain amount; I didn't care if I couldn't close a deal on a small one.
Later, whenever I was lonely, I wanted to find a man to love me, even if it meant hiring a male prostitute. I did hire male prostitutes; I knew it was risky, but I always held onto a glimmer of hope. The advantage of hiring male prostitutes was that I could do whatever I wanted—I could insult, discipline, even beat them; it was all about venting. I felt like I had become a pervert. After we were done, I found out he was from the same hometown as me, and when he left, I slipped an extra 1000 yuan into his underwear. Seeing the emotion and surprise in his eyes, I felt a great sense of accomplishment, but then I felt very sad.

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[The Journey of Sex]

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