The happy life of a lovely wife and husband

page views:1 Publication date:2022-05-02

I was watching TV on the sofa when my wife, wrapped in a bath towel, sat on my lap and said seductively, "Sir, won't you take me?" I pretended to be unmoved and said, "No, no, I don't have any money on me today!" My wife said, "What money? Just make me happy, and I'll give you an IOU later!" I was stunned... There's such a thing as an IOU!
2. I lifted my wife's chin with one hand and teased her, "Hey girl, come on, sing me a song!" My wife slapped my hand away, "Sir, please show some respect. I only sell my body, not my art!" Shocking... I've walked right into their trap!
3. I was lying in bed reading after taking a shower when my wife came out of the bathroom and pounced on me like a hungry tiger, pinning me down and saying menacingly, "Hehe, you're quite handsome, young man. I'm going to have a taste today!" I resisted fiercely. Seeing that I wouldn't comply, my wife turned gentle and said, "Sir, will you just give in to this little lady?" I said, "Give me a reason first!" My wife's eyes darted around mischievously, "This little lady was just released from jail, and hasn't had any sex in years!" My goodness~~~~~~~ That's a good reason, there's no reason not to comply!
4. My wife asked me, "You men always say women are 'secretly sexy,' what does 'secretly sexy' mean?" I said, "Secretly sexy means outwardly dignified but inwardly passionate!" My wife asked again, "Do you think I qualify?" I pretended to look her over carefully, then shook my head, "You don't qualify!" My wife nodded, "I think so too, I should be considered 'openly sexy.'" I chuckled to myself, "Accurate but not comprehensive!" My wife was puzzled, "Then what is it?" I answered triumphantly, "You're 'fully sexy'!" Ugh~~~~~~~ I'm definitely going to get a beating!
5. One night I went to a karaoke bar with a client and didn't get home until very late. When I got home, I thought my wife was asleep, so I tiptoed to the bathroom to take a shower. I had just taken off my clothes when my wife suddenly appeared, shouting sternly, "Trying to destroy evidence?" Startled, I quickly said, "No, no, I already put my weapons away before I went out!" My wife chuckled mischievously, reaching out to touch my penis: "Hmm, the gun's still there, but I need to check if any bullets are missing!" Goodness~~~~~~~ She even has a way to check that? She stayed up half the night just for this?
6. My wife loves all beautiful things, including handsome men and beautiful women. The greatest joy of shopping with her is her searching everywhere for attractive men and women to admire. Once, after a tiring shopping trip, we sat in front of the Starbucks window, admiring the beautiful women walking by. My wife, staring intently at me, asked me blankly, "Who do you think all these beautiful women sleep with tonight?" I glared at her in surprise and replied, "Perverts!" My wife was equally surprised: "Huh? Doesn't that mean those perverts get a good deal?" I was both amused and exasperated, flicking her head with my finger: "A good deal my foot! What are you thinking about all day? Your head is full of sorghum flowers! I'm saying you're a pervert!" "Oh!" My wife nodded, seemingly understanding, and then said something that made my liver ache: "So if I sleep with them, who will you sleep with?" Speechless... I'd like to sleep with them too, but you'd probably kill me!
7. Once, I made a small fortune. When I got home, I threw the envelope at my wife: "Honey, you did a good job last month. This is a tip from your master!" My wife, looking like she was eyeing the money, weighed the envelope in her hand, hugged me, and gave me a quick kiss. She said with a charming smile, "Thank you, sir. It's my duty to serve you well. Please come again, sir!" I nodded dumbly, "Oh, definitely, definitely!" Well... what a fleeting romance!
8. My wife has a habit of hiccuping when she inhales cold air. One evening, she came home from work hiccuping. I asked her with concern, "Did you inhale cold air again?" My wife sighed with feigned worry, "What else can I do? You haven't been with me for days. I have no income, so I'm just starving!" I then remembered that I hadn't made love to my wife for two or three days, so I started to get handsy. My wife was quite cooperative at first, but at the crucial moment she suddenly stopped: "Fine, I'll just continue drinking the wind!" I was a little confused: "Why?" My wife smiled sweetly: "My old friend hasn't left yet, it's not convenient!" I knew it! Why has she been so well-behaved these past few days!
9. One Saturday, my wife was off work as usual, but I had to work overtime. In the morning, she pestered me and we made out for a while, then went back to sleep satisfied, while I had to go to the company exhausted. I greeted her and was about to leave the bedroom when my wife said from behind: "Honey, come over tomorrow!" I nodded: "Come!" "Huh?" Luckily, I reacted quickly: "How dare I come tomorrow? I'll come tonight!" "That's more like it! Go on, this little lady is going back to sleep!" Wow~~~~~~~~ Being with a wife is like being with a tiger, if you're slow to react, you really can't!
10. My wife and I started dating in college. Back then, girls could enter boys' dormitories, but boys couldn't enter girls' dormitories. One late autumn night, I angered my wife, and she left me behind to go back to her dorm. Back then, there were no cell phones, and my wife lived on the third floor, so I shouted apologies to her from downstairs. I shouted for a long time without any effect; instead, more and more people gathered around. Seeing that lights were about to go out, my wife asked her roommate to throw her blanket down from the window (I recognized the blanket cover because it was a gift from me). Seeing the situation was getting out of hand, I quickly shouted, "Could you also throw down a pillow?" But no one responded; instead, the whole building burst into laughter. A wise man doesn't fight a losing battle, so I quickly ran back to my dorm and slept under her blanket all night. The next morning, before I was even awake, my wife stood in front of me, pulled the blanket off, and gave me a good beating: "You heartless bastard! You made me freeze and have a runny nose all night, and you're so carefree!" My dear wife~~~~~~ Do you think I wanted this?!
11. One winter was exceptionally cold, and one weekend my wife and I went to the park. Seeing many people skating on the frozen lake, I invited my wife to join me, but she was too scared. To prove the ice was solid, I took the lead and skated around on it first, which made my wife very eager to try. I ran from the center of the lake to the shore to meet her. When we were about a meter from the shore, to further prove there was no danger, I jumped up, only to fall into an ice hole with a "splash!" Luckily, the water was shallow near the shore, only reaching my waist. My wife screamed in fright, almost crying. It took a lot of effort to get out of the icy mess. After making sure I was alright, my wife asked me very seriously, "Is your little brother frozen?" I nodded vigorously, enduring the excruciating cold, "He's alright, the little guy is like a polar bear!" Ugh... I still feel cold thinking about it now.

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The happy life of a lovely wife and husband

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